


The Boy Who Never Cried Wolf

by Destiel_Sabriel4eva



Series: Always Waiting [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Definitely not Evil, Dramatics, Everyone deserves better, F/F, F/M, Goes through to Harry Potter, He's at war, I've got this rated for teens and up but please review tags carefully., Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Manipulative Albus Dumbledore, Marauders' Era, Multi, Peter was a Marauder, Pining, References to Torture, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Self-Harm, Stop ignoring that!, Suicide Attempt, Very brief and for non depression related reasons, Werewolf Biology, Werewolves, and his actions reflect that, but like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-03-17 18:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 56
Words: 380,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13664589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Sabriel4eva/pseuds/Destiel_Sabriel4eva
Summary: Always Waiting.People develop rules they live by over time, the Marauders are no different.  They and their group of friends have one in particular that comforts them no matter what.Always Waiting.Because when someone does something bad, they'll always be waiting for them to realise they're wrong, and come back to them.Always Waiting....But what happens when there's no one left to wait for?Remus knows, but he knows something else too.He'll always be waiting.





	1. Hogwarts Express

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, quick note from me here. This story is also being uploaded on Fanfiction.net I don't know how many of you are over there too, but they don't give you a separate place to have chapter notes. Therefore all my notes are in my chapters, so that's why it's like that.  
> Anyways, this is a little Marauder's Era fic, or starts off that way, but it will go, more or less canonically, all the way through Order of the Phoenix.  
> There's another in this series that will cover after Order of the phoenix, but will basically throw canon out the window at that point.  
> Okay thank you, and, enjoy!
> 
> Slight Update on this, that whole more or less canonically is looking more and more less. Which, you know, great word use there but anyway. Point is, things will be where needed for Harry Potter to begin, but right form the get go some things will be different. Harry and his adventures for the first four books should be pretty much the same but surrounding things may be quite different.

Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Remus Lupin felt immense relief upon finding an empty carriage onboard the train.  He knew it was overly paranoid to believe the students would guess his secret on sight, but he couldn’t help it.  What if they knew?  What if they hated him?  What if they feared him?  What if he got expelled? _What if they knew?_   He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the door open, looking over he sees a boy with blonde hair looking just as nervous as he felt.

“C-can I sit here?  Everywhere else is full,” The boy asks cautiously.  Remus wants to say no, but he knows what it’s like being afraid of rejection, so he nods his head and the boy enters the cabin proper, “I’m Peter, by the way, Peter Pettigrew.”

“I-I um…” Remus worried, what if people knew Remus Lupin is a werewolf and by telling the boy his name he gave himself away?  _You can_ _’_ _t go through school without telling anyone your name, that_ _’_ _s ridiculous!_ He tells himself strongly… _Maybe I_ _’_ _ll just give my first name though, there are plenty of Remus_ _’_ _out there after all_ , “Remus.  My name is Remus.”

“Nice to meet you.  First year?”  Remus nods awkwardly, unfamiliar with carrying on a conversation for so long.  What if Peter caught on?  What if he realised the truth?  Remus feels himself beginning to panic and tries desperately to calm himself, “Me too.  Might not be so bad if I had siblings, then I’d know what to expect.  My parents decided not to tell me much about what starting out is like in case it’s all different from when they went to Hogwarts but I still think it would have been better than nothing and I’m sorry I ramble when I’m nervous feel free to stop me in fact I’m just going to stop anyway.”

Remus doesn’t think he’s ever heard so many words spoken to him, let alone in one breath.  Much as he wishes this ride would be over and the conversation ended, he couldn’t just leave the boy freaking out.  He knew fear, he would never forgive himself for leaving another to dwell in it for his own comfort.

“M-My Father told me that we’ll get taken to Hogwarts by the groundskeeper to make sure we don’t get lost.  As first years, we’ll get to take the boats instead of the self-drawn carriages.  Then we meet Professor McGonagall, my Father says she’s strict but if you get on her good side she’ll look after you.  Then it’s the sorting, we’ll get our houses, then we eat,”  Remus quietly says to the boy, trying to remember how to emphasise words without sounding like a weirdo, where and when to breathe, for how long.  What if he took too long a breath and Peter realised he’s a werewolf? _That_ _’_ _s entirely ridiculous!  Get a hold of yourself dammit!_   Remus hoped his nerves would calm down, but part of him knew this would last the next seven years, and then there’s getting a job and keeping a job and a house that he’ll grow up in alone and scared assuming he hasn’t lost control and hurt someone and been _thrown into Azkaban before then or-_

“That doesn’t sound so bad.  I like boats.  Do you?” Remus takes a deep breath.  Boats he could handle, he knew how to answer this as easy as breathing.

“I’ve never been on one,” He replies, feeling more in control.

“I have, once.  It was fun.  Though I don’t know how to row a boat, do you think we’ll have to row the boat?”

“I-I um I don’t know.”

“Loads of people can’t row boats, surely they won’t expect us to, right?”

“Probably not,” Remus tells him, hoping this is the answer he was looking for.  Maybe Remus couldn’t handle boats after all.

After what felt like a lifetime of awkward silence continually broken by equally awkward largely one-sided on Peter’s part conversations, they arrived.

Peter and Remus lose each other in the crowd when they get off the train, Remus isn’t all that disappointed.  After all, the boy was better off away from him.

The gamekeeper called the first years to follow him, Remus spends the short walk keeping his head down and trying to stay out of everyone’s way.  Remus stands at the back, intending to wait for everyone else to get on and then simply join whoever had room, but he accidentally locks eyes with a boy wearing glasses and sitting in one of the boats who waves him into it.  He walks, rather stiltedly, over and clambers into the boat.

“Hi, I’m James Potter,” The boy tells him before nodding to the only other occupant of the boat, “That’s Sirius Black.”  Remus had, of course, heard of both families, but he knows what being prejudice does to people and automatically decides to ignore their family names.

“Hello.  I-uh, I’m Remus,” He says awkwardly, cursing himself internally for being like this.

“Any idea what house you’ll be in?” James asks, Remus bites his lip but shakes his head, “I think I’ll be in Gryffindor, my whole family has been.  What do you think, Black?”

“I’ll probably end up in Slytherin,” Sirius replies with a surprising amount of disgust, “Just like everyone else in my family.”  Remus continues biting his lip before once again deciding he can’t just let someone be miserable for his own comfort of silence.

“If you dislike your family being in Slytherin, it’s probably because you don’t share the attributes that landed them there,” He says nervously, hoping his attempt at comfort won’t be taken badly.  Sirius’ hostility seems to drain away somewhat, replaced with a look of fear.

“Maybe,” He says, then he composes himself, back to the cocky smirk he had been wearing when Remus had boarded the boat.  “Does anyone know the spell used to make these boats move themselves? It seems like it could be useful.”

“Probably the same one that pulls the carriages,” Remus says with a shrug.

“Oh c’mon!  You have to be more excited by this.  I grew up in a pureblood family surrounded by magic and even _I_ this is cool.”  Remus wonders if James said that to make his point or just to throw around the fact that he’s a pureblood.  His mother had warned him people might do that, and those that did tend to look down upon those that aren’t human.  _Not that she_ _’_ _d ever say it like that.  No, I_ _’_ _m too delicate to take that, I_ _’_ _m merely_ _…_ _not quite as human as others,_ He thinks angrily before immediately feeling guilty.  His Mother did so much for him despite his…condition.  She deserves better than having him as a son.

“I guess I’m just not fond of sitting in a boat I have no control over,” Remus responds awkwardly, James just shrugs and goes back to admiring the view, but Sirius looks him over with a contemplative look that instantly has him on edge.  He thinks back over the conversation, how he sat, how he looked, his facial expressions, breathing pattern, _everything_ because _oh god he knows, how does he know_.  But then Sirius speaks.

“You’re kind of cute when you bite your lip like that.”  Remus blushes, looking down and stuttering out a response.

“T-Thank y-you.”

“You are most welcome,” Sirius replies with smirk.

Unlike Peter had after the train, when they disembark, the two boys stayed close to Remus.  Though they mostly talked to each other, they would look over on occasion for his input, to which he would shrug, nod, or answer with the least amount of words possible without being rude or arousing suspicion.  Eventually they get to the castle and are lead in by Professor McGonagall who looked rather terrifying, he can only hope his parents are right about her. 

After she leaves them, telling them to smarten themselves up, Remus hears a familiar voice calling his name.  He turns around to see Peter making his way over and resists the urge to just burst into tears at his name being said so loudly because _people could know, they could know!_ “Hi Peter,” He says as the boy reaches him.

“I couldn’t find you after the train.”

“Sorry, got lost in the crowd I guess,” He replies, Remus notices the expectant look on James’ face and clears his throat awkwardly, “Um, Peter this is James Potter and Sirius Black.”  While Remus would prefer to leave off their last names in case it made Peter uncomfortable, he knows that one’s family is a big part of pureblood society. Despite Sirius seeming unfond of his, it’s unlikely either would appreciate it.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Peter Pettigrew.”

“Nice to meet you too, Pete,” James replies, shaking the boys hand.  Sirius just sort of nods at him and Remus can’t tell who seems more arrogant.  At least Peter doesn’t seem to mind the shortening of his name, and neither seems to be doing it intentionally.  Remus things it’s probably just from growing up rich, _which isn_ _’_ _t necessarily a bad thing_ he’s quick to remind himself, as though he could offend the others merely by thinking such things, “You two meet on the train?” Peter nods.

“Yeah, we shared a compartment,” He says, like that was an important piece of information.  Maybe Remus was missing some key component of social interaction and it actually was.  He just nods, unsure what else to do.

“Well, welcome to the group,” James tells him with a wide smile, Remus wonders when they became a group but decides it’s better to just go with it,  “Who is _that_?” James asks suddenly, Remus looks over to see him staring at a red-headed girl standing beside a pale dark-haired boy by the railing.

“No idea, so it can’t be anyone important,” Sirius tells him, James rolls his eyes as Peter and Remus exchange uncomfortable looks, unused to such self-importance openly on display.  Again though, he didn’t seem to mean to be like that, it’s just how he’s been raised.

“Maybe not, but she looks like an angel.” Remus almost tells them that Muggles are superstitious about Red-heads and think they have no soul, but decides it’s probably not in his best interests to bring up muggles to two high-class purebloods. _Not that they_ _’_ _d necessarily be mean or cruel, it_ _’_ _s just best not to risk it_ he thinks.  Eventually they get called in.

When McGonagall starts calling out people’s names in front of everyone Remus panics again before telling himself to relax.  He hears Sirius’ name be called and gives the boy a reassuring smile, or what he hopes to be one, when he looks back at Remus as though his words earlier made Remus his comfort in this. 

“GRYFFINDOR!” The hat shouts a few seconds after it lands on his head.  The hall goes silent, Slytherin’s sneering at Sirius, Remus worries that perhaps not going into Slytherin isn’t so good for Sirius after all.  But despite that, Sirius has the biggest grin and look of utter relief on his head after the hat is removed that he practically skips down to the Gryffindor table. 

As the names get closer and closer to ‘Lupin’, Remus begins to panic more and more, but he’s being ridiculous!  _No one is even going to have heard of you and everyone here is nervous, no one will suspect a thing so CALM DOWN!_ It occurs to him that shouting at himself internally is probably not the best way to calm down about half a second before he hears his name be called.

“Lupin, Remus,” McGonagall calls out, Remus’ breath catches in his throat, but his name is an order to move toward her and he always does as he is told.  So he walks forth, stiff as a board, and takes a seat on the very edge of the stool.

_Hmm, where to put you little wolf.  Oh don_ _’_ _t worry, I won_ _’_ _t tell anyone your secret.  Keeping such a secret for so long though, rather a Slytherin trait but_ _…_ _no, not Slytherin.  No, you keep it out of fear for others, not yourself_ _…_ _yes, yes, a perfect fit._

“GRYFFINDOR!” The hat shouts, Remus still feels like he can’t breathe, _THE HAT KNOWS!_ Is all he can think until McGonagall places a hand on his shoulder, gently urging him forward.  Something about the way she looks at him has him giving her a small smile of gratitude as he gets up and walks to the Gryffindor table, sitting in the seat Sirius shifts over to give him.

“About what you said before, I guess you were right.  Thank you,” Sirius tells him quietly.  Despite him having done so twice now in the short time Remus has known him, he thinks it’s a rare occurrence for Sirius Black to show such true emotion and smiles at him so that he knows there is no judgement from him.  Maybe things won’t be so bad after all.

 

James and Peter are sorted into Gryffindor as well, and after a feast that Remus stays mostly quiet for, they are lead back to the common room.

“Boys Dormitories are down that corridor, Girls are down that one,” They are told, the boys moving as one body up the stairs and immediately looking for their names.

“Oh my god, we’re all in the same dorm, what are the odds?” Sirius asks when he spots his and the others’ names.  Remus can’t help thinking though, _what_ are _the odds?_

Inside Remus sees his things beside the bed against the left wall, next to his is James’ bed, then Peter’s, then Sirius’.  For some reason, their dorm doesn’t have five beds like Remus had been told it would.  He wonders why. 

The others decide to go to sleep immediately, tired from their long day now that their beds are in sight, but Remus can’t help but worry.  He spends a while unpacking his things before he sits by the window, looking out to the night sky, instinctually looking straight at his worst nightmare.  _That_ , he thinks, _is the worst part about this.  It doesn_ _’_ _t stop after a full moon, not completely._   He falls asleep staring at the moon and wishing his instinctual exhilaration and eerie calmness at the sight of it would just _go away_ and stop haunting his nights. And his days.  His always.

 

“Remus, wake up.” Remus wakes to being shaken and opens his eyes to see Peter looking down at him and flinches away violently, _what if he can see it in my eyes or on my face?_ He thinks before calming himself again.

“Sorry, um, thank you.”  They head down to breakfast together, being the last ones to leave the tower, and find that Sirius and James have saved them seats across from them.

“Morning sleepy-heads,” Sirius says cheerily, throwing them a cheeky smile, “We were worried you and your beds had melded into one and we’d lost you forever.” Peter laughs at the words, Remus unable to help the slight upwards twitch of his lips.  Apparently, knowing he would never be in Slytherin was enough to perk the rather mysterious boy right up until he no longer seemed so mysterious.  Remus looks beside Sirius and sees James staring off to the side and follows his gaze, landing on the red-headed girl he’d asked about the night before.  Remus looks back at Sirius questioningly.

“He’s been doing that since she walked in and sat down.  Apparently, them both being sorted into Gryffindor is a sign of their future or something.”

“Does he even know her name?” Peter asks, Remus had been wondering the same thing but hadn’t wanted to come off as judgemental.

“That was my question to him, apparently he’d paid attention to the entire sorting to make sure he didn’t miss her.  Ignoring the fact that her last name starts with an ‘E’ and would have been soon after mine, it’s sickeningly sweet.” Remus debates whether to ask his question, he doesn’t want to call attention to himself, but he can’t just go through school and never speak.

“So, what _is_ her name?” Peter asks, Remus quietly breathes a sigh of relief, not wanting to attract attention but unable to fully hold it in.  That was the second time this morning Peter had helped him out unknowingly, Remus thinks he should buy the boy chocolate as a thank you, even if he won’t know why and Remus can’t tell him why without giving too much away, he’d surely still appreciate the chocolate.

“Evans.  Lily Evans.”  Remus doesn’t think it all that surprising that at the mention of her name James turns around and notices them for the first time.

“Oh, morning you two!  How’d you sleep?  You didn’t seem very comfortable Remus, but we didn’t want to wake you.”

“I slept fine, thank you.  You?” Remus asks, not really wanting to continue the conversation but not wanting to be impolite.

“Okay I guess, I never really sleep well first night in a new place.  Even when I’ve done it before, so first nights back after holidays are always going to be annoying,” He explains, Remus wonders what it’s like to be able to say so much about yourself so freely and without worry.  He’ll never be able to do that. _Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it_ _’_ _s everyone else that could suffer because of you that matters._ “We have Transfiguration first, right?” Remus nods without checking his timetable.  He had memorised it soon after he got it, just to make sure he wouldn’t be late somewhere and have to walk in with everyone staring at him and annoying the teacher.

“With Professor McGonagall, right?”  Sirius asks, again Remus nods,  “My parents told me she was a useless teacher and a Mudblood lover,”  He says quietly as though he doesn’t really trust it, Remus thinks it’s source has a lot to do with that.

“Hey, don’t call them that,” James tells Sirius sternly who just seems confused.

“Who, what?”

“Muggle-borns,” James replies, speaking quietly after checking that no one else heard Sirius speak.

“Oh…I’ve never heard Mud…erm…Muggle-Borns…called that before.  Sorry.” Peter looks as shocked by that as Remus feels, though he knows it doesn’t show on his face.  He never really seems anything but disinterested from what his parents say.  James doesn’t seem so surprised, more sad than anything.

“It’s fine, just understand that no one will appreciate a comment like that, least of all Muggle-borns themselves.  It’s really offensive.”

“That doesn’t really surprise me,” Sirius admits, looking rather annoyed.  Remus would probably be just as annoyed if his parents hadn’t given him the skills to survive in a basic social setting.  At least his had tried, Remus just tended to rather avoid socialising than learning how to do so.  Sirius doesn’t seem to have been given much of a choice, only exposed to what his parents think and say, things he clearly doesn’t agree with, “Could you…um…”

“What?” James asks patiently, Sirius seems very uncomfortable.

“Just make sure I don’t offend anyone?  I want to be different than them.”  Remus doesn’t think Sirius would ever have admitted that had he felt like he had a choice.  Sensing the need to lighten the atmosphere and realising no one else knows quite how to respond, Remus decides to take a risk.  He takes a quiet but deep breath before plastering on a hugely amused smirk.

“He doesn’t seem like the best person to ask for help on that, no offense Potter.  Don’t worry Sirius, Peter and I will help you, won’t we Pete?” Remus asks Peter who nods happily as Sirius laughs at Potter’s disgruntled look, though he too seems amused.  Remus keeps up the over-exaggerated look on his face until they go back to eating, then he gratefully drops it and returns to his quiet demeanour.  Unbeknownst to him, James and Sirius both notice this and realise exactly how far he’d gone out of his comfort zone just then, they exchange looks and nod to each other.  While James had definitely taken Sirius under his wing, they both plan to do so to Remus. He seemed the type that is too used to coping on their own yet still doesn’t cope well on their own.

“Remus’ Dad said that McGonagall is strict but she’ll look after you if you get on her good side.  We should probably make sure we do that,” Peter tells the boys, Sirius smirks.

“Having a teacher looking out for us could be a very good thing, because lads, we’re gonna have _fun_ this year,” He declares, Remus looks at him, wide-eyed and nervous.  Peter does too but with a hint of excitement that Remus thinks is purely from being invited along with this, James just smirks and nods his agreement.

 

Their first lesson was off to a great start…sort of.  They and Evans (And her friends, not that James noticed they were there) seemed to be the only ones not to get lost.  The only reason they didn’t is because Remus seemed to have memorised the map of the school despite it’s moving staircases and trick walls/doors and such.  Sufficed to say, James, Sirius, and Peter were impressed and told him as much.  He seemed distinctly uncomfortable with the three of them looking at him at once, so they turned away and focused on McGonagall.

Finally, some other students began trickling in, apologising for being late, some seeming on the verge of tears.  McGonagall simply waved them off and assured them that no punishment would be handed out by her for lateness for the first two weeks.  After that she expected them to know the way to her class and would be severely disappointed if that were not the case.

“Something tells me everyone is going to learn the way here _very_ quickly,” James mutters making Sirius laughs, Peter smile amusedly, and Remus acknowledge that he spoke.  James gets the feeling that’s his version of a big reaction and takes it as a success.  McGonagall does a roll call, James smiling, happily answering his name.  Sirius winks at her when his is called, she doesn’t seem surprised to the others, but Remus thinks it amused her though it surprised her.  Remus barely reacted to his name, a slight nod of his head in her direction made him the only one in class to not give a verbal answer.  He hated that he stood out like that even though it seemed no one else had noticed.

A few minutes into the lesson, McGonagall asks them a question which Lily puts her hand up to answer, what happens next…well Sirius swears it was merely a moment of opportunity, but Remus and James both saw his flinch as the hand was raised and he hastily acted, James can’t work out why he reacted like this, Remus is pretty sure it was his way of reassuring himself that what he thought would happen wasn’t happening.  Sirius high fives her from his seat beside the girl who seems shocked, taking in Sirius’ smirk she looks at him in annoyance as many in the class chuckle, McGonagall again seeming unimpressed, but Remus just knows that the boy has already been taken under wing in her eyes.

They get told to turn a match into a needle, Sirius manages it on the first try, for some reason that sets Remus on edge though he doesn’t know why.  Halfway through the lesson James manages it, joining Sirius in quizzing McGonagall about random things instead of doing the worksheet she gave them.  Remus manages it next, he too ignores the sheet given to him, instead moving closer to Peter, who was sat next to him anyway.

“Want some help Peter?” Remus asks, he could see how upset Peter was about not being able to do this when the others could.  The boy nods gratefully and Remus knows he has done the right thing.  Remus spends the rest of the lesson trying to help Peter, the two trying different things to make it work and Remus just saying encouraging things. Eventually the rest of the class leave, since it had been a double they have a break now. 

“You guys coming?” James asks as he walks to the door, Remus notices Peter’s dejected look at the match and shakes his head.

“We’ll catch up.”

“You can go with them if you want, I just want to try a couple more times,” Peter tells him, Remus just takes a seat beside him again.

“Try thinking of something happy while imagining the match as a needle?” Remus suggests, Peter tries it, it doesn’t work.

It’s ten minutes later when the problem becomes clear to Remus, “Peter, look at the match.  Ignore its existence.”

“What?” Peter asks, looking over Remus sees McGonagall at her desk and looking curiously at him. He feels bad that she’s stuck here while they work on this, but Peter is intent on finishing it.

“Just trust me.  Forget the match is there, imagine it is already a needle.  So just look at it, and think, ‘That’s a needle.’”  Peter looks uncertain but does so, happy when it works.  He turns around and hugs Remus quickly, so happy to have done it.  He immediately looks embarrassed, Remus just smiles at him, clapping him on the shoulder and looking unbothered by the hug despite being extremely uncomfortable.

“10 points to Gryffindor each for hard work and perseverance,” McGonagall tells them, Remus seems confused.

“But Professor, Peter is the one who did it, I didn’t do anything.” She smiles slightly at him.

“I think your friend there would disagree,” She tells them, the two pack up and leave.  As they go, Remus can’t help but ponder what the Professor had said.  ‘friends’ she’d called them.  Is that what they are?  Is Peter his friend?  Is Sirius?  Is James?  Remus doesn’t know and is far too afraid to ask.  So long as they never find out his secret, he thinks maybe it doesn’t matter either way.

“What do we have next?” Peter asks, “We don’t have much left of break so we should probably go straight there.”

“Charms with Professor Flitwick.  I think we should try to find James and Sirius first, otherwise they might get lost on the way there.”

“But where could they be?  This place is huge.” Remus thinks about everything he knows about them, it’s not much, but it’s enough.

“I think I might know.” Peter shrugs and follows him, slightly doubtful.

Eight minutes and forty-five seconds later they found the two and Remus knows how long it will take to get to the Quidditch stands for future reference.  The two were watching as older students flew around playing a half game of quidditch just for fun.

“How did you know they’d be here?” Peter asks as they get close.

“I thought Sirius would want to go outside and Potter loves flying, it was logical,” Remus explains, uncomfortable with the awe on Peter’s face, “Hi, we, uh, came to make sure you didn’t get lost on the way to class.”

“Oh, thanks!  Actually we were just trying to remember what we have next, we both forgot our timetables so…that would have been awkward,” James tells them with a grin, “Did you manage it?” Peter nods happily, both Sirius and James congratulating him.

“And we got twenty points for Gryffindor,” Peter adds, Sirius claps him on the back.

“Good on you!”

“How long until we have to head to class?” Peter asks Remus, “I noticed you counting on the way here,” He explains when Remus looks at him questioningly, Remus internally scolds himself. _Way to look like a freak._

“Three minutes.  Though I’m not entirely certain of exactly how long it will take.  I haven’t been there yet,” Remus mutters his answer, looking at his feet while he speaks.  He doesn’t want to be late and stand out, but that’s not why he counts.  He’s never even mentioned to his parents nor his…anyway, that the counting calms him, gives him something to focus on instead of the fear constantly shadowing everything, everything but the counting.

“Might as well go now then, good one Remus,” James tells him, Remus nods to him as they all move off.

It’s a few minutes later, they walk through a corridor, following Remus’ directions, when Sirius turns to said boy.

“Do you count how long it takes to get everywhere?” Remus looks surprised and embarrassed at the question, but nods nonetheless, “Do you remember everything you count?” Again, he nods, “How long exactly did it take us to walk to Transfiguration from the great Hall?”

“Five minutes and fifty-seven seconds.”

“And from our dorm to the great hall?”

“For Peter and I it took eight minutes exactly, but that will change depending on how many people you are walking with and who those people are.”

“Can you tell how long it would take another person to walk a place?” Remus thinks about that before nodding slowly, still confused about why he was being asked and feeling awkward about being the centre of attention.

“If I’ve seen them walk in different moods and know what mood they are in or if they are injured and such, yes.”

“Boys, I have an idea.  But first, which bloody staircase do we take?” Sirius asks, Remus turns his attention to the staircases, seeing them move.  He observes for a moment before leading them away from the stairs, the others are confused but follow.  They end up going up different stairs before walking back to the first stairs from a different floor just as a staircase arrives there.  They get on and walk up it, straight down the corridor Remus was aiming for.  Less than a minute later they make it to class.

“Something tells me this skill of yours is working brilliantly into Sirius’ plans, my friend,” James tells Remus with a grin, Remus smiles back slightly.  James thinks it looks sort of like he’s not quite sure he’s doing it right and makes it his mission to ensure his friend gets plenty of practice at smiling.  Meanwhile Remus heads into the classroom contemplating James’ words.  Now he is calling them friends too.

Charms goes well.  Again, Sirius is the first to manage to levitate the feather, the teacher congratulates him thoroughly and he seems like he doesn’t know how to handle the praise.  The Slytherins give him sneers and disgusted looks that make Remus glare at them every time.  He doesn’t want Sirius to see, though he thinks there’s a chance Sirius would enjoy it.  Lily Evans is the second person in the class to manage the spell, but Peter is the second of the group Remus has found himself in.  Then it’s Remus himself, James doesn’t manage it.  He’s so excited about their next lesson being their first flying lesson and gets distracted by Lily’s success that his feather disintegrates into ash, Professor Flitwick isn’t entirely sure how it happened and merely advises James to pay more attention from then on.

 

After charms, the boys head out of the classroom and hear the pale black-haired boy Lily is with complain he doesn’t know where to go while looking at his map dubiously.

“Remus memorised the map, you can come with us if you want?” James immediately offers, Remus blushes at that which Lily notices and giggles at.

“That’s cool, come on Severus let’s go with them.”

“No Lily, we don’t need their help,” The boy, Severus, says with a sneer in James’ direction.  James seems confused by it, Remus notices the attitude bothering Sirius more than James and steps in to avoid a confrontation.

“It’s no trouble, really,” He assures the boy who turns his glare on Remus, Remus feels his wolf’s instincts flare slightly in response to the perceived threat, but not nearly strong enough to cause a problem so he ignores it, merely taking a deep breath quietly.

“I think I know the way,” He all but spits, “Let’s go Lily.”

“But, Severus we’re heading in the same dire…” She trails off when she notices he’s ignoring her as he walks away, “Thank you for the offer.  I’ll see you in class,” She says, hurrying after her friend.

“What was _his_ problem?” Sirius asks the group while Remus starts panicking because if they don’t leave in the next forty-five seconds they’ll be late.

“Who knows, let’s just get to class,” He says a tad too quickly, James looks at him considering.

“You’re counting again and we’re about to be late, aren’t we?” Remus nods, “Time to go.” They head off and Remus is grateful.  Another to buy a chocolate frog for.

“So I was thinking, we should do something to celebrate our first week here.  Mark our time here in history.  And then at the end of our last week in our last year, we should do the same thing except grander because we’ll know the place and magic better by then,” Sirius tells them, they all consider it, James immediately on board and Peter smiling broadly.

“Sounds epically fun,” Peter tells them, James and Sirius agreeing with his assessment, the three turn to Remus who shrugs.

“Okay.”

“And after a rousing endorsement from Remus, I’ll start planning,” Sirius says in a joking manner, Remus managing a small smile at it while James rolls his eyes and laughs at the two of them.  Secretly, Remus thinks it’s probably best they aren’t around him that long, but he’ll worry about it later.

 

They’re waiting for their teacher when Sirius turns to Remus again.

“Can you do me a favour?  Work out how long it will take all the Slytherins to get to the Slytherin common room from the great hall after dinner.”

“Sirius how would he even know where the common room is? The other houses common rooms aren’t on our maps.” James points out, Sirius considers this for a moment before grinning.

“Anyone here good with potions?”

“I suppose we’ll find out next lesson?” Peter suggests when none of them answer, they all nod.

“Good, good.  Everything is coming together.”  Remus looks to James who shrugs but looks excited, he turns to Peter who looks nervous and finds he can breathe a little easier knowing someone else is as uneasy about this yet to be revealed plan.  Maybe that’s an upside to having people around him, not that he can let them stay too long but…maybe he can wait a week before putting in the necessary distance to protect his secret.

 

After their flying lesson, during which Remus found out he absolutely despises flying while James and Sirius love it and Peter is surprisingly good at it, they head to lunch.

“You know, this school is pretty amazing,” Peter tells them, they all agree.

“Certainly a step up from Muggle Primary School,” Remus replies quietly, they look at him in surprise.

“You went to muggle primary school?” Remus nods nervously, “Oh, are you a muuuggle-born then?” Sirius asks curiously, catching his slip…just, and looking frustrated with himself for having it at all.  James puts a hand on his shoulder comfortingly.

“No, my mother’s a muggle.  I guess she just wanted me to know her world too,” Remus lies, really it had just been safer, no Muggle was going to realise he’s a werewolf.

“That’s cool, what was it like?” James looks a little surprised that Sirius was asking about this but nods for Remus to answer when he looks at him questioningly.

“Boring.  I grew up hearing stories of this wonderful and magical world but didn’t set foot in it until I was getting everything on the list I needed for Hogwarts.” Remus doesn’t mention that he had, in fact, set foot in it, just not since he was four-years-old.  He thinks that might open up a line of questioning he isn’t prepared for.

“You should come over to my place sometime, we have loads of magical stuff there.  Even though I can’t do magic yet, it’s still cool to be around it,” James tells him, Remus smiles slightly at him giving James the impression that while he genuinely appreciates the offer, he’s not going to take him up on it.

“I’d invite you over to my place but…well even _I_ don’t want to be there,” Sirius tells him, he smiles in what he hopes is a reassuring way.

“You know all three of you should come over to my place during the holidays.” James tells them, thinking Remus might be more comfortable if the others were there too.  To his surprise though, there’s a flicker of sadness on the boy’s face before it goes back to his usual quiet disinterested look James knows better than to believe despite only knowing the boy for a day.  While Remus would love to accept that offer as quickly as Peter does and Sirius says he’ll write home and ask about it, the full moon will be in the middle of the holidays, he knows his break won’t really be a break.  Besides he has to get back to his…he sighs internally, _now_ _’_ _s not the time, she made her decision_.

“I would but, my family is going on a holiday to visit my Aunt,” Remus tells them, all three can very easily tell it’s a lie, like seriously this kid is _terrible_ at lying.  Peter looks hurt at that fact but hides it in his food.  James and Sirius exchange a look, silently agreeing that Remus really _did_ want to come but for whatever reason couldn’t and can’t tell them why.  While Remus may have considered Sirius the mysterious one when they first met yesterday, it was quickly becoming apparent to the others that it was Remus who was mysterious.

At the end of lunch, instead of getting up and hurrying out as the other’s expected he would, Remus remains seated.  Sirius follows his gaze and grins, making sure not to sit in his eyeline as he sits back down. 

“Ohh!” James exclaims when he works out what’s going on, sighing and taking a seat on the other side of Remus and pulling Peter with him, “He’s counting,” He tells Peter while nodding to the Slytherins, he smiles as he understands.  Eventually the Slytherins are gone, Remus narrows his eyes at the wall for a moment before standing up and gathering his stuff.

“Ready?” They nod and head off.

“Get anything good?” Sirius asks him as they walk to Potions, the three completely trusting Remus to get them there.

“I need to find out how much the time of day changes how quickly people move.  So I need to watch while people leave dinner.” He tells them quietly, the others aren’t sure they really understand but they accept his words.  They walk into the dungeons, nearly at potions when James chuckles.

“It’s down here.”

“Potions?  Yes Potter, that’s why we’re down here,” Sirius replies, Peter snorts, Remus’ eyes glittering with amusement though his facial expression does not change.

“No, the Slytherin common room.  It’s in the dungeons.”

“What makes you think that?” Peter asks, James nods his head to Remus who was currently putting on his cloak.

“The Slytherins came to breakfast wearing their cloaks. We had them on outside but took them off when we came into the castle because it’s warmer, we come down here and put them back on because it’s cold in the dungeons.”

“Even if you are right, the dungeons are big, we’d never find the entrance,” Remus comments quietly as they enter potions, not all that surprised to find they are some of the first students here despite having left the great hall last.

“We could follow a Slytherin student after dinner?” Peter suggests.

“They’d notice,” Remus tells him, pausing just long enough for the others to wonder if he was planning to say something different, James privately wonders if he has a setting with louder volume before remembering him trying to cheer up Sirius at breakfast and deciding it may very well be a good sign if he’s quiet.  He decides he needs to get to know the boy better to understand why he’s so uncomfortable all of the time.

“I think you’ve all forgotten that I have a plan.”

“That relies on one of us being good at potions.”

“Not necessarily Potter, merely our ability to get on Professor Slughorn’s good side.”

“Who’s Professor Slughorn?” Peter asks.

“Potions Master and the Head of Slytherin,” James responds distractedly as he sees Lily enter the room, Sirius rolls his eyes, shoving his shoulder to get him to turn around.

“Let’s take a seat,” Peter suggests, they all agree.  Sirius sits on the desk next to Lily and Severus’ with James beside him.  Remus and Peter on the table beside James.

When lesson begins, Slughorn introduces himself before diving right in which, Remus has to admit, he appreciates.  He’s never really been one for time wasting, but he supposes his was a special case, as it often was, in that he never really had much time to do things with the full moon constantly looming overhead.  He asks a question and, unsurprisingly, Lily raises a hand to answer it, Sirius high-fiving her again.  She silently fumes at him before answering the question while James and Peter snicker, Remus shakes his head and sighs quietly.  James thinks it’s the most disapproval he’s ever shown and still it’s barely and while he thinks no one is watching him.

As it turns out, James isn’t terrible with potions.  None of them are really, but to be fair they were all trying very hard to get on Slughorn’s good side the entire lesson.  Sirius didn’t do so well at that bit on account of him continually high-fiving Lily whenever she raised her hand to answer a question.  Remus thought it had to count for something that she didn’t ever raise her other hand instead.

After potions was Defence Against the Dark Arts, it wasn’t something Remus was looking forward to, though Dumbledore had assured him and his parents that Werewolves weren’t touched on until third year.  _Not that any of them would use that word around me,_ He thinks snidely.  He spends the majority of potions brooding about this in all honesty and only comes out of it when he hears Slughorn angrily say “Fifty points from Gryffindor for such foul language, I expect better from you, from every one of you and I will not have that word spoken in my class, or ever.  Fifty points from Slytherin for the exact same thing! Albeit a different word.  Mr Black, your head of house will be hearing of this.  Class dismissed.”  It’s not until they are out in the hall that Remus notices Sirius looking miserable and guilty and like he had just torn the essence of life out of someone’s chest.  Then he sees Lily storm off, leaving behind an angry Severus.

“I wasn’t paying attention, what happened?” Remus asks, the others are surprised given how much attention Remus seems to pay to _everything_.

“Well, Lily’s _friend_ made a comment about the state of Peter’s shoes, which look fine by the way Pete.  To which I called him Snivellus and pointed out the state of his greasy hair.  He said better that then spending time with a blood traitor like him while pointing at Sirius who stood up and said…”  He trails off awkwardly, Remus looks to Sirius who still seems miserable but answers his unasked question.

“I don’t know where you get off calling me a blood-traitor when your only friend is a mudblood.” Remus’ eyes widen in surprise, Sirius flinching at the look, “I didn’t mean it like that though, and I wasn’t trying to offend her.  I only meant to point out he was being a hypocrite so that he’d back off.  I just…forgot how it would be taken, I guess.”  Sirius looks up to see a chocolate frog being held out to him.

“Eat, you’ll feel better,” Remus tells him, he smiles slightly in return.

“Just tell Lily that.  I’m sure she’ll forgive you,” Peter suggests, James nods encouragingly at Sirius who seems wary but nods.

Determined, the four head off to their next class, taking a short cut that Remus remembered meant they got there the same time everyone else did.

“Evans, wait.  Can I talk to you for a second?” Sirius asks awkwardly, Lily looks like she’s about to go off at him when she sees his face and slowly the fight seems to drain out of her, though the defensiveness remains.  She nods and walks up the corridor a bit with him.

Peter and James wait out side for them while Remus walks into the classroom and saves them seats by a girl Remus remembers Lily speaking to at breakfast.  He’s fairly certain she isn’t going to want to sit with Severus at the moment.  When the teacher asks where the others are, Remus tells her that there was an incident in potions that involved a lot of deducted points and that they just need a few minutes to solve it and make sure it never happens again.  The teacher doesn’t seem too convinced until Lily’s friend, who is technically sitting four seats away from him, confirms his story.

“Hi, I’m Marlene McKinnon.  I’m assuming they’re fixing this mess out there and I didn’t just help you cover up them making it worse?”

“Remus, and yes, they’re fixing it,” He tells her, both leaning over the seats to shake hands.  Remus makes four copies of his notes for the beginning of class that the others missed, handing it to them when they do enter.  When Lily raises her hand to answer a question, Sirius high-fives it and she glares at him, silently fuming as she had now many times before, and nothing had changed.  He was glad.

“These are good notes, thanks erm…Remus, wasn’t it?” Lily asks, he nods.

“Got a last name Remus?  Just realised I gave you my full name and you only gave your first,” Marlene points out, the boys get curious/suspicious looks on their faces, turning to Remus.

“You did the same to us.  Even introduced us to each other using full names but not your own.  Hell, you even _call_ me by my last name.”

 _It_ _’_ _s not like it_ _’_ _s a secret, Professor McGonagall literally called it out in front of the whole school, it_ _’_ _s not my fault you weren_ _’_ _t paying attention,_ Remus thinks defensively, but bites it all back.  He didn’t want to be short tempered or cruel and knew that his own words showed his stupidity of not giving his name despite it being used in front of all the school.  So instead of his defensive mini-rant, he simply mutters a quiet “Lupin.” And goes back to his note taking.

“Remus Lupin. Do you realise what your name means?” Lily asks ten minutes later, Remus looks at her questioningly, “Well, in mythology a man named Remus, along with his twin, was abandoned in infancy and raised by wolves.  Lupin is derived from the word Lupus which I’m pretty sure in Latin means wolf.  Not to mention the constellation Lupus or Lupi, the wolf constellation.”

“Ha, your parents basically named you Wolf Wolf,” Sirius says laughing, the others laugh too, Remus forcing out an amused smile while he internally screams at all of creation.  He hadn’t known that.  Apparently though, he was destined for this hell from the very beginning.  Do his parents know what his name means?  How could this happen to him? _Why is it always him?_

 

After what feels like an eternity the class is over, Remus sees Severus leaving the classroom and has an inspiration, “I’ll meet you guys back at the common room later,” He tells them, leaving before anyone could ask any questions.  One of which would have undoubtedly been ‘How do we get back to the common room?  Come on man, you are our map!’

Remus follows Severus as he heads back to the Slytherin dormitories, as he enters he sees Remus standing in the corridor a little ways behind him and turns sharply to face him.

“What do _you_ want?” He demands snidely, Remus puts his hands up in a placating gesture.

“I just wanted to apologise for earlier.  I realise I didn’t actually do anything but, I’m with them so I still wanted to say I’m sorry.  I know Sirius offended your friend deeply but they seem to have made up.  And I apologise for what Potter called you and said about your hair, it was juvenile and petty,” Remus tells him, Severus looks at him, calming down by the second.

“They’re purebloods, why do they hang out with you?” It comes out harshly, but Remus can tell he just doesn’t understand, he shrugs.

“They might be purebloods, but they don’t care.  They certainly don’t care that I’m not.”

“For now maybe, sooner or later there will be pressure from home and they’ll turn on you.  Watch yourself Lupin,” He suggests before entering the common room and leaving Remus standing in an empty corridor.  He quickly makes his way up to the Gryffindor common room, contemplating his own words along the way.  They don’t care.  Would it stop there?  With blood purity?  Or might they accept other things too? _Don_ _’_ _t be an idiot.  They can_ _’_ _t know, no one can.  For their safety as much as yours, probably more so._ He reminds himself sharply.  He walks into the Gryffindor common room and easily spots the group, gaining eye contact with James and nodding his head up to their dorm.  James nods, getting Sirius and Peter’s attention, the four head up to their room and close the door.

“I found it.”

 

**Chapter note:**

I…may have changed the timeline on certain things, and then had to make a bunch of shit up to make said certain things still make sense.  So little will have changed eventually but the stepping stones may have changed quite a bit.  You’ll understand, it’ll all work out in the end.

Now, this story will end up in the right place for the Harry Potter books to continue as you know them, more or less.  It won’t seem like it at times, but it will, so if that’s what you want, I do suggest sticking with it.

Thank you and I hope that you enjoy my story


	2. The Age Of Frogs

Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“I found it,” Remus tells them once the door is shut.  He sits on his bed, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around them.  In part, he always feels the instinctive need to protect himself from the world, the other is that the more squished he makes himself the less of himself he can see and the less of a reminder of what he is is given to him.  He hates the reminder.

“Found what?” Sirius asks, sitting on James’ because it is closest to Remus’, the other two follow suit.

“The Slytherin common room.  I also know the password, but we have no way of knowing how frequently Slytherin changes theirs.”

“Hopefully it will be the same on Friday.  Here, write down where it is on my map,” Sirius requests, rushing to his bed to grab his map.  Unable to find it, he starts pulling every apart, Remus sighs.  He walks over to his chest of drawers and grabs his own map that is sitting directly on top, “When did you even have time to unpack?” Sirius asks him, he shrugs.

“Last night.”

“Before or after you fell asleep by the window?” Sirius asks, Remus hesitates in the way the others are beginning to recognise as his ‘I could be saying something but instead I’m heavily editing my sentence and in the end you’ll maybe get a word or two out of me’ way.

“Before.” Sirius feels smug at his correct assessment of the hesitation but also pretty stupid.

“Well yes, obviously, because afterwards you were asleep,” He says, more to himself than to Remus, Remus writes the location of the Slytherin common room on the map, specifically marking where the door is.

“This is pretty cool.” Peter says, looking at it, “I mean think about it, we could end up creating a map with all the common rooms and secret passageways and everything on it.  But we’d be the only ones that know the map exists.”

“That does sound pretty cool, we _have_ to explore the castle on the weekend!” James declares, the others nod, except Remus. “Remus?  You in?” Remus bites his lip.  The first full moon of the school year is Sunday night and he knows he’s going to be aching and tired on Saturday and Sunday, but he also really wants to explore the castle.  Maybe he can agree and then if he feels too bad he can just say he’s sick.  But then how’s he going to explain his disappearing on Sunday night.  Dumbledore and his parents said to say he’s visiting his mother, but if he does that he’ll have to go Sunday afternoon.  Maybe that’s a good thing.

“I’m going to visit my Mother on Sunday but, I can explore on Saturday?” He suggests, they seem confused but nod.

“Saturday it is, bring your map.”

“How long until dinner?” Peter asks looking to Remus, why he can’t check the time himself he doesn’t know, but he answers anyway after consulting his internal clock.

“Three hours twenty-seven minutes.”

“We should probably unpack,” James suggests, so the three begin packing while Remus gets out a book and starts reading.  One hour and three minutes later, according to Remus, they’ve finished and head down to the common room where James challenges Lily to a game of Wizard chess.  It ends up a tournament including the two of them, Sirius, Marlene, and Peter.  Remus plays time keeper for each of their turns.  They allow themselves to get caught up in the game, trusting Remus to let them know when they need to leave.

Two hours and twenty-four minutes later, Remus calls time and tells them they should all go to dinner.  Lily and Marlene seem confused by the sudden interruption, especially when the other boys immediately start packing up the game.

“Finish some other time?” James asks Marlene whom he had been playing against, she nods as Lily looks at her muggle watch and notices the time, realising Remus is right she looks at him in surprise.  He notices her gaze and simply shrugs as though it had been a lucky guess.  The girls head off, leaving the boys to finish packing up before they leave too.  Just before they enter the great hall, Peter runs into someone, literally.

“Oh, sorry- oh it’s you,” Peter says causing the other three to turn and see who has caused Peter’s sudden ire.  They see Severus.

“Snivellus,” James greets cruelly, Severus turns to look at Remus, making a face as though James were proving his earlier point.  Maybe he was, but Remus didn’t think so.  He thinks James is just protective of people he cares about, and he seems to care about Sirius and Peter, both of whom Severus had insulted, “You know, Sirius and Evans made up after potions because Sirius swallowed his pride and apologised.  I don’t hear you apologising to Sirius for what you said.” Severus glares at him, James chuckles, “Have you even fixed things with Evans?”

“Yes, he has.  So back off Potter, and leave him alone.  You weren’t exactly innocent either and you’ve not apologised to Severus,” Lily tells him sternly, appearing seemingly out of nowhere and planting herself in between the two boys.

“I was only defending my friend.”

“There are better ways to do that than being a cruel and snide bully,” Lily says decisively before she turns and storms off, dragging Severus behind her into the hall and watching to make sure he made it to the Slytherin table okay before turning and glaring at James again.  Only then does she retake her seat at the Gryffindor table.

“Well that was unexpected,” James says, turning around to face the group.  Remus thinks it really isn’t, and that Lily has a point, but he doesn’t say that.

“Maybe we should just go sit down,” Remus says instead, he wonders from the looks on James and Sirius’ faces if they know that wasn’t what he was intending to say.

They stay back after dinner so that Remus can count as the Slytherins leave, nodding to himself afterwards.  Dinner to lunch didn’t seem to make a difference, but given they were planning this for a Friday, students would either leave quicker or slower or a combination of both that is hard to predict.  He’d have to watch for who usually lags behind and work out which they will do throughout the week.

“Ready to go?” Sirius asks, Remus nods so they get up to leave.  As they start heading to the common room, Remus turns down a different corridor than he had earlier that day, the others follow him without noticing.  When they get to the common room, James looks around a bit surprised.

“Is it just me or did that take less time than before?”

“Did we go a different way?” Peter asks Remus who nods slightly.

“How much time did we shave off?” Sirius asks, knowing Remus would have been counting.

“A minute twelve.”

 

During their first break the next day, Remus has them sit down in front of the moving staircases, wanting to see if they move in a pattern. 

“Well?” Sirius asks as they head to Herbology.

“Not in that time,” Remus says to the confusion of the others.  He didn’t really have a reason to believe more time would change the erratic behaviour to a predictable pattern, but something about the way they move niggles in the back of his head and he promises to pay attention to them throughout the week.

“So, Sirius, what _is_ your plan for Friday?” Peter asks, Sirius grins.

“Okay, so I have a little brother, he’s two years younger than me.  His first bit of accidental magic was on this frog we found in the backyard when he was four.”  Sirius isn’t sure why Remus suddenly looks to the ground seeming rather dejected, but decides to ignore it for now, “Every time it jumped it would duplicate itself, we had no idea how to undo it so we ran and told our parents who were surprisingly happy about it.  Anyway, I learnt the spell that does that and I’m thinking we should charm a frog and stick it in the Slytherin common room.”  The boys grin at each other, even Remus’ lips twitch up slightly.  Honestly that one makes Sirius the happiest, getting any reaction out of Remus seems to be a feat of magic in itself and he’s rather proud that his plan managed it.  He wonders why making Remus happy is so important to him, but decides to ignore that for now as well.

“Who’s going to be able to plant a frog in the common room?” Peter asks, James smirks.

“You remember the password?” James asks Remus who nods, “Don’t tell me now, I won’t remember it, tell me on Friday.  I can get the frog in without being seen, trust me.”

“Severus is going to work out who did it you know.  He knows I saw the common room and heard him say the password.”

“That’s who you got it from?  How?” Sirius asks, confused, “And what was with the look Snivellus gave you before dinner?”

“I followed him down to find the common room and heard him say the password when he opened the door, he saw me though and asked why I was there.  I lied and said I was there to apologise for what happened in potions.”

“You weren’t even paying attention in potions,” Sirius points out with a laugh, Remus shrugs.

“He didn’t know that.” All three boys laugh and forget to ask again about Severus’ look.  Remus is glad about that, he doesn’t think they’d take kindly to what Severus had said and Remus didn’t want to cause a confrontation.

 

Throughout the rest of the first week, the four boys got on all their teachers good sides despite also disrupting class rather frequently.  McGonagall had been very disappointed about what happened in potions, but after Lily assured her that Sirius has spoken to her almost immediately after to apologise and explain that he hadn’t intended offence and was merely trying to shut Severus up, she calmed down.  Though Sirius was told in no uncertain terms that such language would not be so easily looked over next time.  Sirius grumbled after that losing fifty points hardly seemed easily looked over, but agreed it could have been a lot worse.

 

On Friday, the boys hurry out of dinner as soon as others start leaving, James had somehow gotten the frog into the common room after the Slytherins had left for dinner, now they just had to go back to their common room and wait for the chaos to be heard.  They sat, all but vibrating in their seats in the common room as Peter, James, and Sirius played exploding snap and Remus did homework.

At the end of their second transfiguration lesson, Remus had approached McGonagall and handed her the sheet she had given to students who finished the needle prac in first lesson.  He explained that even though he knew it wasn’t really a necessary part of their work, she had still given him work to do and he had ignored it in favour of helping Peter and so felt he should finish it in his own time.  She smiled warmly at him, marked the sheet, and gave him five points for Gryffindor earning a happy gleam in her student’s eyes.  Since then he’d made it his mission to do as well in his classes as he possibly could, he didn’t feel like he’d earned those five points by essentially handing in a piece of work late and so wanted to make up for it.  Of course then teachers kept giving him points for his hard work which made him work harder and it was becoming a vicious cycle despite only having been a week.

One hour and thirty-nine minutes later, McGonagall entered the room and called the four boys out, James smiled satisfactorily as he walked out.

“As I am sure you four are already aware, there was an incident in the Slytherin common room this evening.” As she spoke, Remus realised that while she appeared stern, she was highly amused.  He knew she wouldn’t go easy on any punishment, but he also knew that they hadn’t lost any favour in her eyes and relaxed marginally, “I’ve been informed that Mr Lupin here discovered the location and password of the Slytherin common room, and that Mr Potter was late to dinner.  I don’t suppose you’ll simply admit to this and make everything easier?”  The boys exchanged looks before Sirius gave McGonagall a bright grin.

“I’m afraid we have no idea what you’re talking about Professor, we all came straight here after last lesson and didn’t leave again until dinner,” He tells her, she doesn’t look impressed though Remus still sees an amused glint in her eye and wonders if the others do too.

“Of course you don’t. You three boys go back inside, I’d like a word with Mr Lupin.”  Peter, Sirius, and James look to Remus who nods for them to do so, they head in.

“Professor?”

“I just wanted to make sure you remembered where to go to visit your mother on Sunday,” She says, Remus hunches in on himself, he had known she knew but talking about it was different, he nods timidly, “Good, if you need anything, let me know.”  Again, he nods, “You may go.”

“Thank you, Professor,” He makes sure to say before hurrying inside.

“What was that about?” James asks as Remus joins them on the common room couches.

“Just finalising plans for me to visit my Mother,” He replies quietly, the others noticing his shift in demeanour.  He’s always quiet and timid, but now he seemed rather shaken and they’d noticed him moving a bit awkwardly for the last hour or so and are growing worried.  Remus, meanwhile, was in pain.  It wasn’t too bad yet, just a slight ache in his bones that he tries to ignore, which isn’t exactly easy with all the bloody stairs in the school, but he manages.  Still, he’s quite relieved to retake his seat, continuing his homework and ignoring the questioning stares of the others.

That night Remus wakes in a cold sweat, nightmares of coming back to himself after tomorrow nights transformation to find his three dorm mates dead around him, torn to shreds.  He sits by the window again, looking out at the almost full moon and feeling the strengthening pull, cursing it and the moon, cursing everything.  He starts crying, despite trying desperately to hold it back, his only saving grace is that he has become adept at crying silently over the years and had no worries that he would wake the other boys.  So he sits, and he stares, and he cries himself back to sleep.

 

“So, are you capable of sleeping in a bed?  Because I’m almost certain that’s not where you fell asleep last night,” Sirius questions as he wakes up, Remus winces at the aches in his body and the tiredness he already feels.

“Sorry,” He mutters.

“Come on Remy, we can’t miss the chaos of angry Slytherins,” He replies, ignoring the unneeded apology and his friend’s red rimmed eyes.  Remus doesn’t even notice the name, too focused is he on standing up.  It still wasn’t even nearly as bad as he knew it would be on Monday after the moon.

 

“Are you all right Remus?” James asks as he’s forced to stop for the third time to allow the other boy to catch up.

“Yeah, sorry.” James exchanges worried looks with Sirius and Peter, all three dropping back and walking slowly with their friend who seems relieved at the drop in speed, “You guys can go on ahead and see the Slytherins, I’ll catch up.”

“Eh, now we get to walk in and be glared at by an entire house who _knows_ it was us but can’t prove it,” Sirius tells him with a conspiratorial grin, positively beaming when Remus honest to god smiles back.  It’s not huge, but it’s the first _actual_ smile he’s ever seen from the boy in the entire week he had known him.

It takes them another three and a half minutes to get to the great hall, Remus trying to pick up the speed once in sight of everyone else so as not to arouse suspicion, this more than anything worries the others but they decide not to comment.  As Sirius had predicted, the entirety of Slytherin house glared as they entered, Sirius putting on an innocent look as Peter nervously takes his seat, James chuckling under his breath, and Remus barely even noticing.

The whispers of the first prank of the year travel the school like wildfire, being ever more exaggerated, all knowing who did it but as the information grew more and more inaccurate, it did not incriminate them at all.

 

After breakfast Remus gets out a notebook and a muggle pen, a thing none of the others had ever seen and lead to many minutes of explaining and messing around with.  Then he opened his notebook, showing that he had brought his map, they set off to explore the castle, marking things as they went.

They moved slowly, checking all the walls carefully and ensuring they open and look in every room they passed instead of making a big deal out of Remus’ slow pace.  James makes the decision to only explore that floor today, saying it was very large but truly just wanting to save his friend an unnecessary trip up the stairs.  An hour later, Remus feels himself losing energy rather quickly and stops to lean against a wall for a brief moment, the stone he leans on presses in slightly and a portrait opens.  The boys exchange looks and open it up, looking through they see what appears to be some kind of private study room that hasn’t been used in _years_.  It had bookshelves mostly filled with books around the edge and a large desk in the centre of the room, five chairs in the room to go around it though one of them had been knocked over.  They enter the room, coughing slightly at the dust every step picked up.  Upon further inspection they find another chair in the corner, it was broken, they assume that’s why it’s not near the table.

“This is so cool!” Peter exclaims, Remus walks over to the desk and marks the room’s location on his map.

“If we clean this place up it could be a cool area to hang out,” James tells them.

“Plan more pranks,” Sirius says, clapping with obvious glee.

“Quiet place for homework or studying,” Remus says with a pointed look to Sirius who grins and waves him off.  It had to be one of the driest things they’ve ever heard him say and it was quite surprising, Sirius wonders if these sorts of things are what he always stops himself from saying.  He seemed tired, maybe he didn’t catch himself this time.  Remus chastises himself because that is exactly what happened.  James pulls out his wand.

“Scourgify,” He says, the spell cleaning the desk instantly.  He grins as he and Peter use the spell and clean the whole room while Remus makes a note on the back of his map saying which stone to press, adding to the key already present on the map.  Remus looks through the titles of the books in the room and notices they are in absolutely no order but recognising fixing that is a bit too much work for today, he makes a note in his notebook to do so just in case he forgets after the full moon.

“Are you really going to organise these books into content categories and then alphabetical order based on first name of author instead of last?” Sirius asks as he reads the note Remus made over his shoulder.

“I _siriusly_ am,” Remus tells him, completely straight faced.  James and Peter laughing at it while Sirius looks somewhere between amused, outraged, and proud.

“We should keep exploring,” James tells them, still chuckling as they step out through the portrait, closing it completely behind them.  They keep going, pressing random stones and portrait frames, and pulling on torch holders, tapestries, and anything else they come across.  All the portraits seemed to find this very amusing and strongly encouraged them to continue though they refused to give anything away.  Peter found a snake etched into a stone and traced it with his finger, it fell to the ground making him jump back with a yelp.  Remus goes over as quickly as he can to check on him while Sirius and James both look at the contents of the small shelf they had found.  It was a vial with a small note attached.

_Put two drops on the floor and add a drop of blood, stand back and watch the magic happen._

Sirius looked worried about it, muttering something about blood magic and a price.

“Potter,” Remus calls, James looks around at him where he’s sat on the ground next to a still shaken Peter who’s looking terrified at something below Sirius, “I don’t suppose you happen to know a spell that mends stone?” James follows his line of sight and sees the stone that had come off and revealed the shelf broken in three pieces.  James shakes his head, but Sirius kneels down, lining the pieces up and muttering a spell under his breath, the stone sealing back together until the breaks can no longer be seen.

“We should find out what it does,” James tells them, “The potion I mean.”

“Blood Magic is bad news Potter, whatever it is won’t be good,” Sirius tells him, “We should just shut it back into its hiding place.”

“And when someone decidedly less nice and responsible happens upon it?”

“I’m not sure this group is the spitting image of ‘nice and responsible’,” Remus tells them, his eyes quickly widen as he realised what he said, James smiles at him as Sirius smirks and winks at him.

“Damn right.” He sounds proud, Remus doesn’t think it’s something to be proud of, but he keeps that comment to himself as he curses his growing tiredness and current lack of a proper brain to mouth filter.

“We still can’t just leave it here,” James insists.

“So let’s go back to the other room, find a book that’s either broken or essentially useless, carve out a hollow and hide it in there until we decide what to do with it,” Remus suggests in a tired voice like he’s already done dealing with this.  Sirius looks uncertainly at the bottle while James looks at him expectantly.  Peter looks worriedly at Remus who smiles slightly and trying to reassure the boy that he’s fine without words.

“Fine,” Sirius eventually agrees.  They journey back to the room and allow Remus to select a suitable book.  He finds one that’s so faded it’s unreadable and brings it over.  They debate how to carve out the hollow for a while before Remus stabs his pen into the book and pulls it down and around in a square shape, ripping out the now loose pieces he finds he went in quite a few pages. 

“Well…that works I guess,” James says, looking at the boy hesitantly.  Remus continues stabbing and ripping the book until the hollow is deep enough, ignoring the satisfaction he feels at the rather aggressive action.  He knows it’s only because the wolf is getting close to the surface, his senses are heightening, his instincts growing stronger, and a wildness inside himself that he always despises.

“It’s time to head to lunch,” Remus mutters with a sudden timidness.

 

They all head off to Lunch, Sirius glaring in Severus’ direction when they lock eyes, Severus sneers back and Remus only just holds back the urge to roll his eyes.  He winces at the noise in the hall but tries to ignore it.  It’s about half an hour later that Peter leans closer to Remus and talks quietly to him, little did he know that he could have spoken just as quietly from across the room and Remus could have focused his hearing and heard him with ease.

“Are you okay Remus?” Peter asks, Remus gives him a pained smile.

“I’m fine, just a headache.  I uh, I think I might just go lay down for a while,” He tells Peter.

“Do you want us to come with you?”

“No, thanks, but I’m okay.  Enjoy your lunch,” Remus says awkwardly as he gets up and starts walking out of the hall, he hears Peter explain what’s happening to Sirius and James.  When he gets out of the hall and down the corridor a bit he leans against the wall in relief as the noise quiets down a bit.  He begins slowly walking up to Gryffindor tower, glaring at the stairs when he reaches them.  He hears footsteps coming but ignores them as he starts ascending the stairs.  A moment later he feels an arm pull his arm around the person’s shoulders as an arm wraps around his waist to support him, he looks up to see Sirius who ignores his surprised and confused look and helps him go up the stairs.  Remus notices James who walks in front of them, Remus thinks he’s planning to open doors for them.  Peter walking behind them and close to the banister, probably in case Remus falls backwards, “You guys don’t have to do this.  I’m fine,” He tells them, though he’s so quiet at this point only Sirius hears him.

“No, you aren’t.  I don’t know why you think otherwise and it’s not really my business, but we’re your friends, you aren’t alone, and we’re here to help.”  Sirius doesn’t look at him as he says this, speaking just as quietly as Remus had.  Remus doesn’t know what to say, _they wouldn_ _’_ _t be doing this if they knew what was happening.  They_ _’_ _d hate you, they_ _’_ _d be afraid of you._

“Thank you,” He replies, ignoring the voice in his head, Sirius looks at him and smiles slightly.  Eventually they get to Gryffindor tower and take Remus straight to their room, Sirius depositing him on his bed.  The others spread throughout the room, Peter reading a book and James and Sirius on Sirius’ bed quietly doing homework.  Remus smiles slightly, blinking back the tears that want to fall, he soon falls to sleep.

 

It’s only half an hour later that he wakes up, but he feels a bit better.  Still tired, still aching, and everything is still heightened, but he has some energy back and he feels calmer more than anything.

“How are you feeling?” James asks quietly from across the room.

“Better,” He replies, James doesn’t look particularly convinced, but he and Sirius walk over, joining him on his bed.  Peter’s fallen asleep on his bed with his book on his chest, “What are you guys doing?”

“Potions homework, you’ve finished this right?” Sirius asks, Remus nods.

“Probably extra work too,” James comments teasingly, Remus blushes because it’s true.

“So…how much would I have to pay you to get you to do this for me?” Remus looks at Sirius disapprovingly.

“More money than even _you_ have,” Sirius pouts, “But I will help you.” The other boy beams.  The three go through the homework, Remus explaining things as they go along.  James seems to grasp it easy enough, but Sirius just grows more frustrated.

“I don’t get it, we’re in _first_ year and this is the _first_ week.  How am I already not understanding stuff!?”

“Because you’re looking at each ingredient individually instead of the effect they have together,” Remus tells him, Sirius frowns down at his sheet, looking at the ingredients for the rudimentary potion.  They’re supposed to look at the ingredients and guess what the potion is supposed to do, Sirius looks at the first two ingredients, trying to remember what they do together.

“I don’t remember what they do,” He says a few minutes later.

“Well, these two are the main ingredients in calming draught, and these are used in common sleep potions.  This one, in it’s raw form, will render a person unconscious for about ten hours.  This here mixed with that lowers the potency.  This last one is an effective pain killer when mixed with the first ingredient of the calming draught. Though, it’s a highly addictive substance, it’s diluted once something else is added to it, but that’s why most potions which include it aren’t recommended for repeated uses,” Remus explains patiently.  It had all been explained during Potions, but Sirius had been too busy glaring at Severus every time he got something right, which was always.  He also had not stopped high-fiving Lily every time she raised her hand in class.

“So, its…a…sedative of some kind?” Sirius guesses, James starts clapping Remus nodding, a happy twinkle in his eye.  Sirius grins and writes down his answer. “Thanks Remy.” Remus smiles lightly at his friend, _Sirius said we_ _’_ _re friends after all._

The four hang out in their room for the rest of the day, Sirius and Peter heading down to dinner and smuggling a plate of sandwiches.  They bring it back up to the dorm and the four eat in there.  He might have felt like crap, but Remus had to admit, this was the best he’d truly felt in a while.

 

He had nightmares that night, but his body appeared too tired to wake itself, and so he was stuck.  When he did eventually awaken, he had absolutely no idea what time it was.  It was always unsettling that his carefully counted minutes escaped him when he felt he needed them most.

Slowly he got up, getting dressed and heading down to the common room.  He finds James playing wizard chess against Marlene again, by the looks of things he was losing, but he didn’t seem at all worried.

“Hey,” Peter greets upon noticing him, he smiles, walking over to join them.

“What’s the time?” Remus asks, the group (Including Marlene, Lily, and a girl Remus thinks is named Mary) look at him in surprise.

“The human timer is asking what time it is?” Lily asks teasingly though with a worried air, Remus thinks he probably looks pretty sickly.

“How are you feeling anyway?” Sirius asks, Remus shrugs, ignoring the pain that causes.

“Fine.” He knows no one believed him.

“It’s eleven,” Marlene says after grabbing Lily’s wrist to read the tiny clock she had there.

“What time are you leaving?” James asks him, Remus takes a moment to remember when the full moon is and work out what point he’ll stop being capable of making the journey down to the shack Dumbledore had told him about.

“Two,” He tells them as though it were preplanned.

“Oh, where are you going?” Mary asks him.

“Visiting my Mother,” He replies.

They play chess for a while, Remus heads to the other side of the room to read a book when they start with exploding snap, still the noise and flash of the light pains him.  After what feels like an eternity to him, Peter nudges him to tell him it’s nearly two.  Remus smiles gratefully and puts his book in the small bag he’s bringing with him.

“When will you be back?” James asks him curiously.

“Monday afternoon,” He tells them, hoping it’s true.

“We’ll take notes for you.” Remus nods gratefully as he leaves.

 

He’s shaking when he gets to the whomping willow, checking no one is around before using a stick to press the knot on the tree that stops it moving, Dumbledore had told him about it.  He goes to the hole he’d described and walks through the tunnel to the shack.  He sits on the old rickety bed, trying to ignore how nervous he is.

He puts the bag just outside the door so that the clothes he brought with him will be safe.  He grabs his book and returns to the bed, trying to read as he waits for the moon and failing rather miserably.  A few hours later he feels like pacing but has gotten to the point of not being able to sit up on his own which is exactly why he left when he did.

When the sun sets, Remus puts his book under the bed, hoping to protect it.  Not long after he starts feeling the ache in his bones growing.  As he always does, he sends a prayer up to a god he doesn’t believe in that this will be the last time, that something will change, that he will be saved.  Then he sees the moon out of the window, he always looks for it on these nights.  Most of the time he hates the feeling he gets looking at the moon, but at times like these, he’ll take any comfort he can get.

It’s agony as he changes, but he challenges himself to make it longer than last time without screaming.

Remus opens his eyes, closing them quickly again as the light overwhelms him, _hadn_ _’_ _t it just been night?_   A few minutes later he manages to open his eyes and keep them open, he sees the Matron standing over him but is happy to notice he was in the clothes he’d brought down with him instead of a hospital gown as he had requested.

“How do you feel Remus?” A voice beside him asks, he turns his aching head slowly to the side, that small movement taking far too much energy, and sees it’s Dumbledore.

“Like my entire body changed shape against my will and then attacked itself, sir.”  To his surprise, there is no pity in the old wizard’s eyes, in fact he seems amused by Remus’ answer.  Somehow, that makes Remus happy, and his lips twitch upwards slightly.

“Get some rest.” Remus all too easily follows that order and falls asleep.

 

When Remus wakes up again, it’s easier, though he still aches.

“He’s waking up,” He hears, he turns, expecting a teacher or the Matron.  But he sees his friends, _and yes, they really are friends,_ He tells himself.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Remy,” Sirius greets, James punches him in the shoulder as Peter chuckles.  Remus forgets to be afraid that they know and instead smiles, grateful for the company.

“What happened Remy?  They won’t tell us anything,” James asks, Remus finds he doesn’t mind the nickname catching on.

“Nothing major.”

“Nothing major!?  You were late so we asked Professor McGonagall if she knew where you were and she said to come see her after classes, we did and she took us in here to find you totally dead to the world and covered in numerous bruises and an obviously newly healed deep cut!” Sirius rants at him, Remus winces, but is still too relieved at not being alone and at their care to worry too much about exposure.

“I fell down some stairs, must have cut myself on the broken beam from the banister,” Remus explains with a tired chuckle, waving off their concern, Sirius instantly relaxes, “You said I was late, what time is it?”

“Nine, Monday night,” Peter tells him, Remus sighs, clearly he’d been optimistic.  The three boys stay with him for another half an hour before McGonagall turns up to escort them back to the common room so that they aren’t caught out after curfew.

Remus fell asleep again almost as soon as they left.


	3. They're a Menace!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY!  
> This is so late so, there's a bunch of reasons but they're all pretty weak and quote honestly I just kept forgetting.  
> Here's 2 chapters to make up for it?

Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Remus loves Hogwarts.  He loves having friends that care for him, friends that he cares equally for.  Unfortunately, between the care and the close quarters, it had only been a matter of time before someone asked the question.

“Why do you visit your Mother so much?” Sirius asks over breakfast.  He’d ‘visited’ three times so far since school started, but seeing as it was holidays in a few days and the next full moon was in about a week, it had been long enough since the last that the question was surprising.  Remus knows what he’s been told to say, he doesn’t want to say it, he has to.

“She’s sick.”  The concern instantly in the eyes of those around him guts him, because it’s a lie.  There’s nothing wrong with her, there’s everything wrong with him.

“Well, you and your parents are going on a holiday in a few days, aren’t you?  You’ll get loads of time with her then,” Peter points out, trying to cheer up his now miserable friend.  Remus tries to smile at his friend who has learned to recognise the effort and accept it as an average person’s actual smile.

“You still coming to my place for the last two days of holidays?” James asks, Peter and Sirius would spend all of the holidays with the Potters, much to Sirius’ relief, with Remus agreeing to the last two days, sure it’s enough past the full moon for him to be functional.  He nods, at the same moment there’s a yelp from the teacher’s table.  They all look over and see Professor Slughorn with his face covered with whipped cream.  The students all laugh, the four of them laughing hardest and looking rather proud, even Remus is laughing. The plan had been his idea after Slughorn had showed blatant favouritism in class, something Remus absolutely abhors in a teacher.  Looking over, Remus can see McGonagall looking at the four of them unhappily, as though knowing it had been them.  In all fairness, it wasn’t hard to guess.

Remus taps into his wolf side slightly to bring his enhanced hearing forward, focusing it on McGonagall to hear what she’s saying as she tries to help clean Slughorn’s face.

“I’m so sorry Professor,” She tells him.

“It’s no bother Minerva, they’re just having some fun.”

“They are a menace and they will be punished for this.  Their peers is one thing but Mr Potter and Mr Black need to learn that pranking a teacher is too far.” Remus allows his hearing to fade into the background as he laughs harder.

“What?” James asks as he wipes tears from his eyes, Remus debates how to explain before realising the answer is simple.

“I was reading Professor McGonagall’s lips as she spoke to Slughorn,” He tells them, somehow they don’t seem surprised he can do so.

“What did Minnie have to say?” Sirius asks, Remus straight up grins more cheekily than they’ve ever seen, and pulls his best impression of Professor McGonagall’s voice.

“They’re a menace, Mr Potter and Mr Black need to learn that pranking a teacher is too far, they’ll be punished for this.”

“What?!  Us?!  It was your idea!” Sirius says, outraged, Peter laughs harder.  “Why would she blame us?”

“Maybe she’s met you,” Marlene says from beside him, “I can’t believe you’d try to blame Remus for this, he’d never do it, let alone have it be his idea,” She tells him sternly, Sirius splutters.

“Yeah, quit blaming me,” Remus tells him, Sirius glares at him.

“Traitor,” He tells him, James laughs, clapping Remus on the shoulder.  It had taken a while, but by this point, Remus had developed a habit of not watching his words so much.  Instead he’d whisper these dry one-liners or snarky comments so that only his three friends would hear.  They’d laugh and get in trouble for disrupting the class and he’d appear innocent.  McGonagall had almost certainly caught on, but she’d yet to say anything.  That best part was Sirius and James knew that too.  He was still quiet, especially just before and after ‘visiting his mother’, but he’d opened up to them a lot.  His counting really came in handy for their larger pranks too.  They were three for three so far and off scot free.  At this point the teachers were blaming them for everything that happened, most of which was accurate, but could prove nothing.

 

A few days later they all head off to the Hogwarts Express, between talking and games of exploding snap, the trip seems far shorter than it had been before.

When they get off, James immediately drags his friends over to his parents.

“Mum, Dad!” He calls, happily running over and hugging each.  “Mum this is Sirius, Pete, and Remy.  Guys this is my Dad, Monty, and my Mum, Euphemia.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both, we’ve heard a lot about you,” Sirius says, shaking hands with Fleamont and kissing the back of Euphemia’s hand.

“Remus?” Remus turns around and sees his parent, he waves them over.

“Hey Dad, Mum.” Remus hugs them both, “I’m glad you’re here,” He says it to them both, but for the sake of appearances, he makes it look like he speaks purely to his Mother, as though it was unlikely she could have made it, “Guys this is my Father, Lyall, and my Mother, Hope.  This is James, Sirius, and Pete.  And that’s James’ parents, Monty and Euphemia Potter.”  They all exchange greetings, his mother dramatically coughing into a handkerchief afterwards.

“Are you all right?” Euphemia asks, Hope smiles sadly, it’s not fake, she wishes this weren’t how it had to be.

“I am, thank you.”  Remus has a completely genuine pained expression on his face, he too wishes things weren’t like this.  All this being said, Remus’ parents were ecstatic, they hadn’t seen Remus so happy and light since he was four.  They’re disheartened at how quickly it fades when they are forced to lie, but now they’re hopeful that Hogwarts is a happy place for their son.

 

Remus writes to his friends over the holidays, very much looking forward to spending Christmas Day with them.  The day before and the day after the full moon he doesn’t owl them, depressed that life was going great and yet this part of him would always be ruining everything.  Then his Parents tell him that they’d been invited to go with Remus on Christmas Day along with the Pettigrews and the Blacks for lunch.  He was weak, and in pain, yet instantly excited and happy again.  For the first time in so very long, Remus’ parents had something to be thankful for, their boy was happy.  Remus only wished that they weren’t the only ones going, that for once…but it would never happen, she’d never allow it.

 

After leaving the train station, Sirius and Peter sit around the dinner table eating with the Potters.

“So how was it?” Fleamont asks, all three boys grin.

“Amazing!” James says looking vaguely entranced, his grin fades momentarily, “There were a few hiccups but it all got better…mostly.”

“What’s wrong?” Euphemia asks as she notices all three boy exchanging looks, they don’t seem sure what to say until Peter just shrugs, Sirius nods, and James turns back to his parents who would be amused at the exchange were they not worried.

“It’s Remus.”

“What about him?  He seems like a nice lad,” Monty says, James nods.

“Yes, he is, he’s great.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Euphemia asks, James hesitates again, Sirius decides to step in.

“He says his Mother is sick.”

“She didn’t sound particularly healthy at the station, but she didn’t look too bad,” She tells her son and his friends.

“Well, that’s actually sort of the problem,” Peter tells them nervously.

“He leaves school every few weeks, about once a month actually, to visit her.  Only he seems sick the day before hand and always spends the night after he gets back in the hospital and he’s all bruised and sickly and stuff,” James explains.

“And then we meet his Mother who seems fine.  We think maybe it’s actually Remy who’s sick somehow, and he gets treatment of some kind once a month but it’s one of those that makes things worse for a little bit?  And he said he and his parents were going on holiday when James invited us over, but we counted it out and the day he would have left to ‘visit his Mother’ is in two days. So, we think he couldn’t be here because of that,” Sirius adds.

“We just can’t work out why he’d lie to us about it,” James says with drooping shoulders.  Euphemia and Fleamont exchange looks, debating what to say.

“Boys, on going illnesses have a lot of stigma surrounding them sometimes, and sometimes it’s just really embarrassing to admit to.  If you’re right, Remus will tell you when he’s ready.  For now you just need to be there for him and respect his privacy,” Euphemia tells them, they all exchange looks and nod, feeling oddly relieved by the answer.  Or maybe just at having gotten it off their chests.

“He’s got a saint of a Mother though,” Monty says rather suddenly earning confused looks from all those present, “Well, if you are right, then all that at the train station was put on to cover for her son who seems rather ashamed of whatever it is that’s ailing him.  That’s a hell of a thing to do, especially given how many would look down on her for that.”

“Would you do that for me?” James asks his Mother who smiles warmly and nods.

“I’d do anything for you James, dear.” He grins at his Mother, Sirius seems rather sad.  Euphemia and Monty notice that James and Peter don’t seem surprised by his reaction, and immediately change the subject like they’re used to this.

 

The next morning an owl arrives with the morning post, one of which is a letter addressed to the three boys.

“Remy!” All three say happily, Euphemia chuckles at them as Monty smiles, reading his daily prophet.

“What’s it say, boys?” Monty asks as they laugh.

“He’s complaining that he didn’t bring enough books back with him, even though I’m pretty sure his entire trunk is _just_ books,” James tells them with a smile.

“To be fair though he goes through at least three books a week,” Sirius points out, James has to give him that one.

“What have you four gotten up to during the term?  Besides reading.”

“Remy keeps getting us to do all our homework on time,” James complains.

“Oh I’m glad someone has managed to get you to do that, Merlin knows we’ve failed that one,” Fleamont says to his son who smiles sheepishly as Sirius and Peter laugh.

“It’s been fun, Professor McGonagall called us a menace,” Sirius says with a bright grin making the Potters laugh at how proud all three boys look at this statement.

“Why would she say that?” Euphemia asks happily.

“We may have spent most of the term pranking people, just harmless things though,” James tells his parents, both of whom don’t seem surprised, “Sirius is a bad influence on me.”

“Me?  It was your idea to start doing it!” Sirius defends.

“Actually, it _was_ yours,” Peter points out, Sirius gets a contemplative look on his face before smiling.

“Oh yeah, my bad.  It was a good one though, first prank of the year and it was us!”

“Have you ever noticed that everyone thinks he’s innocent, but Remy helps us so much with them all and makes sure we don’t get caught?” James asks.

“I think that’s just him cleaning up the mess you make,” Sirius tells him.

“You’re the one that tried to flirt with Professor McGonagall to get out of detention!”

“Minnie just doesn’t want to admit to our undeniable chemistry,” Sirius tells James who laughs, and does Peter, and do James’ parents, “You aren’t wrong though, he’s sneaky.  Though he is the single worst liar on the planet.”

“You say that but remember when Dumbledore caught us out of bed, and he was around the corner, and just as we were about to get in trouble he walked round looking all relieved ‘Oh thank Merlin, I was so lost.’”

“Yeah and we just went with it and were like ‘Good thing we noticed you were late and came looking for you.’”

“And we ended up gaining points for Gryffindor for our care for housemates,” Peter adds, the boys looking fond.

“Yes but, then there’s the time Sirius asked if he had any chocolate left and he just ‘No, I have no chocolate, what is chocolate?’ and you just looked at him for a minute before he gave you a piece,” James reminds him, Sirius laughs.

“Well I’m glad you’re all having a good fun, and still getting your work done,” Euphemia tells them, Peter smiles widely as Sirius gets a cocky look on his face.

“We hold four of the top five places in every class.  Admittedly mostly thanks to Remus insisting on us doing work but that’s not the point.  We’d probably be beating Evans if he didn’t insist on us doing it ourselves.”

“You wouldn’t learn if he did it for you,” Fleamont tells them.

“That’s what he says!” Sirius exclaims.

“Must be an old person thing,” James says, Fleamont gives his son an exaggerated offended look making all three boys chuckle.

“Remus is the same age as you all.”

“Actually, he’s younger than James and I.  Mostly me.  Seeing as I am the oldest.  By one-hundred-and-forty-five days,” Sirius informs them.

“Careful Sirius, your inner Remy is showing,” James says with a glare, “Remus may be our age, but I think _he_ forgets that sometimes.”

“Inner Remy?” Fleamont asks looking amused.

“Remy has a thing with counting,” James says, waving off his parents, “And you cannot hold one-hundred-and-forty-five days over my head forever, Sirius.”

“Sure, I can, don’t worry, you’ll understand when you’re my age.” James glares at him again.

“Want to go play Quidditch?” James asks, ignoring Sirius’ triumphant look.

“We should write Remus back,” Peter interjects.

“Right.” All three boys seem lost for a moment as they look at each other awkwardly.  Monty and Euphemia look at them in confusion.

“Dammit we need our Remy back!” Sirius exclaims dramatically as he drops his head to the table, James rolls his eyes at his friend as he gets up to get paper, ink, and a quill.

“We could just start carrying around paper and stuff ourselves,” James suggests.

“But we have a Remy for that,” Sirius tells him, Peter sighs.

“Okay, what do we want to say?” James asks.

“Dear Werewolf McWerewolf,”

“No Sirius.”

“Werewolf McWerewolf?” Fleamont asks as he and his wife arrive at the same conclusion after what the boys had said about Remus’ health.

“His name, Remus Lupin, Evans said that’s what it means.”

“Oh,” Euphemia says, trying to hide her relief so that the boys don’t realise what she’d thought and start to panic.

“Who’s Evans?” Monty asks, Sirius grins as James blushes.

“The girl Po-erm-James is in love with but who hates him.”

“I do not love her and she does not hate me!”

“You so do and she so does!” Euphemia laughs at her son.

“Mum!”

“Sorry sweetie.”

“No, you aren’t.”

“It’s funny.” James sighs at his Mother.

“Okay, so, we say.  Hi Remy, you know, like a normal person Sirius.  We miss you…”

“We miss you?” Sirius asks, looking disbelieving.

“What’s wrong with that?  You were _just_ saying we need him back,” Peter tells him, Sirius rolls his eyes.

“It sounds desperate,” Sirius complains, James sighs.

“Sirius, we’re writing Remy, not a girl you have a crush on.”

“You know what Remy can be like,” Sirius says defensively, as though that had been the problem.

“Fine, what about we can’t wait to see you at Christmas?”

“No.”

“We’re looking forward to it?”

“No.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake Sirius, what would you suggest?”

“Hey Remy,

Sucks about your book situation, I guess you know better for next time though.

We’re playing Quidditch today, you’re probably glad you aren’t here now given how much you hate flying. 

We just realised how useful the parchment and muggle quill you carry around are when James had to get up to grab this stuff.  It was exhausting work watching him do it.  Don’t roll your eyes at me Remy! 

What’s your day looking like? 

Say hi to your parents for us,

Sirius, Peter, and James.”  James and Peter look surprised at him.

“Yeah, that works.”

“Tell him we say Hi too,” Euphemia requests.

“P.S. Mum and Dad say Hi,” James says as he writes it at the bottom of the letter, they send it off before going out to fly.

 

They get a letter back at Dinner that night and immediately reply.

When breakfast comes they get Remus’ response and again reply immediately.  When the next letter comes at dinner though, something seems off.

“It’s happening again,” Sirius says upon first glance of the letter, “His writing’s off.”

“Are you sure he isn’t just tired?” Monty asks.

“No, he’d have written the letter this morning when he got ours.  Besides, he’s pressing too hard with his quill as he’s trying to control it.”

“Trembling again?” James asks Sirius who nods.

“Like when we had to help him up the stairs?” Peter asks, again Sirius nods.

“Looks like, I guess we’ll see how he seems in the morning though.”

“Well boys, we were thinking about inviting all of your parents over for Christmas lunch, what do you think of that idea?  Remus’ as well obviously,” Euphemia says to change the subject.  Peter seems to like the idea.

“I’m sure Remus would be more comfortable if his parents were here for a little bit before he stays here for two days,” Sirius comments, James bites his lip awkwardly.

“What about your parents, Sirius?” Fleamont asks, Sirius looks as though he hadn’t even considered that part of the offer and then looks deeply uncomfortable.

“I um…” He trails off, then he seems to pull himself together, “I doubt they’ll come,” He tells them strongly.

“We’ll see, I’ll send out the invitation today,” Euphemia says, unsure whether she hopes the Black’s do come or not.

 

The next morning, there is no letter from Remus at breakfast, none of the boys seem terribly surprised though they do seem worried.  No letter at dinner and now Monty and Euphemia are worried as well. The next day there is a letter, but it’s not from Remus.

“Mr and Mrs Potter,

Lyall and I would be delighted to attend your Christmas Lunch, I know Remus is really looking forward to seeing his friends again.

It will be nice to get to know everyone a bit better.

 

Yours sincerely,

Hope and Lyall,” Euphemia reads, the boys seem marginally less worried, but again at dinner there is no letter from Remus.

“You’ll see him in two days,” Monty reminds them, they change the subject.

 

In the morning there’s a letter again, the relief that washes over the entire house is almost palpable as James reads out the letter.

“Hey guys,

Sorry about the wait.

I’m really looking forward to Christmas, You guys can show me this tree you were talking about.

Don’t forget we have homework to do, I’m making the assumption none of you have done it yet. But Professor McGonagall asked me to make sure you didn’t forget.  Something about not trusting your organisational skills, I wonder where she got that from…

 

See you all soon,

Remus.” Sirius frowns.

“Not organised? Since when?” Sirius complains, the boys now used to going on as though nothing happened after Remus gets sick, Euphemia and Fleamont are not and still feel worried.

“Maybe she noticed that we literally do not know our own timetable or where our classrooms are, how to get there or any due dates,” Peter suggests.

“How could she notice that though?  We follow Remy for a reason!”

“Yes but, Remus isn’t always there, and when he isn’t, we get horribly lost and confused and attach ourselves to Marlene,” James points out, “Slightly more importantly, what homework?”

“I have no idea, but if it’s Minnie asking then it’s probably Transfiguration.”

“Not necessarily, she is out head of house,” James points out.

“So now the question is, how do we ask Remy what it is without giving away the fact that we have no idea?” Sirius asks, the boys go silent.  Euphemia picks up the letter from Remus and smiles as she turns it over, laying it back in front of the boys who look at it and see it’s a list of their homework.

“Even looking at this list I don’t remember it being set,” James complains, “Are we too reliant on Remy?”  Peter and Sirius exchange looks.

“Nah.”

“Remy,

That is a horrible assumption to make, possibly accurate, but that’s beside the point…

Also, I’m assuming you’ve done it already…help?

 

Your friends,

Sirius, James, and Peter,” Sirius suggests, James writes it down and they send it off.

At dinner that night they receive a reply that makes Sirius groan in frustration and James laugh at him.  Euphemia raises an eyebrow at them, Peter reads the letter out loud.

“Sirius,

You have not even tried it by yourself first.  You know the rules, I will not do it for you and you have to try it on your own.

I’m doing this for your benefit.

Also, Hi James, Peter, and Mr and Mrs Potter.

I’ll see you guys soon.

 

Remy.”

 

The next day is Christmas Eve, they spend most of it dancing around in the massive living room with Christmas carols playing, and the rest of it sitting in James’ room trying to do homework since they know Remus will assume they’ll wait for him to be here.  Eventually they go to sleep, waking up early the next day but having agreed to wait for Remus and his parents before opening any presents, the family coming over earlier than the other set of parents.  The Black’s turned down the offer, but after Sirius asked, both they and the Potter’s agreed that Regulus could come over for lunch to see his brother.  An hour after they wake up they hear the floo and go running into the room to see Regulus.

“Reg!” Sirius says happily when he sees his Little brother.

“Siri!” Regulus hugs his brother happily, the two had been close as young children but weren’t so much anymore.  Sirius was happy to see that outside the watchful eyes of their parents, it was just like old times.

“Guys this is my little brother Regulus, Reg this is James, Pete, and Mr and Mrs Potter.”

“Please, it’s Euphemia and Monty,” Euphemia insists.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both, I’m sorry my parents couldn’t come but they’re attending our Aunt’s Luncheon,” Regulus tells the both of them.

“Oh it’s no bother,” Monty assures the boy.

“So glad we got out of that one though,” Sirius says, his brother looking scandalised but also like he agrees.

“You don’t like your Aunt?” James asks as they all move further into the lounge room to sit down.

“I don’t like her children.”

“You like Drom,” Regulus points out, Sirius nods.

“True, but Cissy is annoying, and Bella is nuts.” Regulus opens his mouth to disagree and then completely fails to do so.

“What’s so bad about them?” Peter asks curiously, Euphemia and Monty aren’t sure this is a good topic of conversation, then the two brothers get amused looks on their faces.

“You thinking of last year?” Sirius asks his brother who nods.  “Okay, so last year we go to their shindig, which is ridiculously pompous and extravagant but that’s beside the point.  We walk in and hear yelling, Andromeda in an argument with her mother and sister.  She’s friends with this um…I don’t actually know if that word is offensive or not or any other word for it…” Sirius stops awkwardly, “But her friend has a muggle parent.  Anyway, Narcissa told their mother this, so our Aunt is yelling at Drom for associating with…I’m gonna edit that out, and how she’s letting down the house of Black, and Dromeda is yelling at Cissy for dobbing her in like that and Bellatrix was just sitting at the table laughing at the entire thing like a maniac.”

“Father let us return home after that, but Mother stayed behind.  It was actually quite nice just the three of us,” Regulus finishes with a fond smile, the Potters don’t really know how to react.

“Well, at least there is no yelling here,” Peter says just as the floo activates again and Lyall Lupin steps out.

“Hello again,” He says cheerily, moving out of the way.  Everyone gets up to say hello, Sirius introducing Regulus just as the floo activates again and Remus steps through.

“Remy!” Sirius calls happily, James snorts.

“And you didn’t want to seem desperate,” He mumbles so that only Peter and Sirius hear.

“Shut up!” Sirius says, punching James in the shoulder, James and Peter just laugh at him, “You see what I’ve had to put up with?” Remus laughs lightly, walking forward and clapping him on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you from our mean friends.” Sirius grins at him, noticing faint circles under his eyes and an unhealthy paleness to his face, but otherwise he seems fine, “It’s nice to see you again Mr and Mrs Potter.”

“Please dear, we’ve said it’s Monty and Euphemia.” Remus smiles slightly, James had told them that they should take that as a happy smile.

“Oh, Remy, this is Reg.”

“Your brother?” Sirius nods and notices the slightly sad look in Remus’ eyes that always appears when they talk of Reg, he’s never able to work out why because it disappears too quickly, “It’s nice to meet you Regulus.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, and you Mr and Mrs Lupin.” Sirius turns to see Remus’ Mother has joined them as well and moves forward to greet her as Lyall brings forth a bag containing presents.

“Oh, you can just put those under the tree with the others,” Monty tells him, Lyall smiles warmly as the other man helps him do so.

“Well, I think that makes it time for presents, there’s tea here if you’d like some,” Euphemia says gesturing to the coffee table in the centre of the room and everyone sits down, the children excitedly sit down on the floor.  Monty goes over to the tree and picks up the first present.

“One for Peter,” He says, handing it over, “One for Regulus,” The boy seems surprised but smiles widely as he takes it.  They go through, pretty much everyone getting a present from everyone.  Regulus is surprised that he gets a present from the Potters, the Lupins, and one from His brother and friends, though it’s Sirius who seems happiest for his little brother.

They mess around for a while as the adults chat before Euphemia asks Hope what she thinks of the wizarding world, Hope opens her mouth to respond when Regulus sits up straighter and looks at her.

“You’re a Muggle?  But, you’re not uncivilised,” He says with confusion written all over his face, Sirius winces.

“Reg, can I talk to you for a second?  In private?”

“Um, sure?” The kid still seems confused as he allows his older brother to drag him out of the room.

“You didn’t think to warn him?” Remus asks James who looks apologetic.

“I assumed Sirius would have.  I apologise Mrs Lupin, he doesn’t mean offence he’s just…uneducated,” James says awkwardly, all four adults still looking shocked at the events.

“James, is this why the Blacks didn’t want to come today?” Monty asks his son, he’d heard of the Blacks, of course, but he tried not to put too much stock in rumours.

“Dad, um.  Listen, Sirius’ parents are…well, they have some interesting ideas about things.  That’s what Sirius and Regulus were raised with, Sirius doesn’t agree with any of it, still I don’t think Reg has been exposed to anything but.  Just like Sirius hadn’t when we met him, it lead to an…unfortunate incident with Evans.  She’s muggle-born.”

“That’s what Sirius meant earlier when he was stumbling around the word half-blood?” Euphemia asks, Peter winces.

“I don’t think that’s the word he was stumbling around but…yes.”

“And why Sirius didn’t particularly want them to come?” Monty asks, again James nods.

“He didn’t want Mrs Lupin to get offended by the things they’d say.”

“Like muggles are uncivilised?” Hope asks.

“Probably worse,” Remus admits, the two boys walk back in, Regulus looking as though his entire world had just been turned upside down.

“I’m sorry about what I said, I didn’t mean to upset you Mrs Lupin,” Regulus tells her, she smiles at the boy.

“I’m not upset, but thank you for the apology.  Please, call me Hope.” Regulus smiles shyly.

 

A while later the Pettigrews, Ryan and Harlene, turn up.  After introductions, the lunch begins.  It’s a pleasant meal and everyone enjoys the company and conversation.  Then it turns to the boys schooling and they all start going a little quiet.

“Yes, I understand you lot have been quite the mischief makers,” Harlene Pettigrew comments with a sly grin, the Potters share the look but the Lupins seem surprised.

“Remus?” Lyall asks confused, Remus gives a sheepish little smile, but his friends recognise his scheming face, unfortunately his parents do too, “Wipe off that face and explain please,” He says though he seems more amused than anything.

“Well you see, the Slytherins were being annoying, or a Slytherin I suppose…” He says, Hope seems confused.

“That’s one of the houses, right?”

“Yes Dear, one with a particularly long history of rivalry with Gryffindor.  I didn’t really think Remus would get involved with that sort of thing.”

“I haven’t really, it was just this one bloke.”

“And what did you do exactly?” Remus opens his mouth for a moment, then closes it.

“We let loose a frog in the Slytherin common room just before dinner, every time the frog jumped it duplicated itself.”

“I’m sorry, the frog duplicated itself?” Hope asks again, Remus nods.

“Sirius knew the spell because Reg did it accidentally when they were younger.”

“You will never let that go, will you?” Regulus says to his brother who ruffles his hair in response.

“Maybe you ought to just leave the Slytherins alone Remus,” Lyall suggests, Remus winces, Lyall sighs, “It’s too late for that isn’t it.”

“We may have basically magically pied their head of house in the face,” Remus admits, Hope laughs, as does Monty.  Lyall sighs, Euphemia looks amused but disapproving, and both of the Pettigrews don’t seem to know what to think.

“Admittedly the frog thing was my idea,” Sirius tells them.

“Yeah but the pie was mine,” Remus states, Hope laughs harder.

“Honey, I’m not sure you’re supposed to be encouraging our son to pie a teacher in the face,” Lyall says with a sigh.

“How did you get into the Slytherin common room?” Ryan Pettigrew asks curiously, the boys freeze a little, not wanting to get Remus in trouble.

“Erm…that may have been me too,” Remus says, Lyall looks done with life at this point.

“It was me as well, I did it, you just got the location and the password. Besides it’s hardly your fault that Sn…um…Severus didn’t check the corridor first,” James tells him, Sirius nods his agreement.

“Severus would be the Slytherin boy you were aiming this joke at?” Monty asks, Peter nods.

“What did he do to you?” Mrs Pettigrew asks.

“Well, you see…” James begins, all could tell this would be a long explanation, “it started on our first day, we were leaving charms class to go to our first flying lesson, and he was saying that he didn’t know the way, so I offered for he and Evans to come with us.  He just sneered at us, refused our help, and then stormed off.  So Evans apologised for it and went after him.  Then, in potions, he made a comment about Peter’s shoes and…admittedly I reacted badly, but then he called Sirius something very bad and then Sirius slipped up on something else and by the end of it we’d lost fifty points to each house and our head of house had been informed.  But then Sirius apologised to Evans and Severus didn’t to Sirius and now he keeps glaring at us and stuff,” He tells them all, all the adults in the room seem to sigh, remembering their own teenaged years.

“Remus, that all sounds bad, and I’ve no idea what was said that shouldn’t have been said, but it doesn’t really sound like something you’d hold a grudge for for very long.  Did something else happen?” Hope asks her son whose eyes widen.

“Umm.”

“Remy?” Sirius asks, Remus winces awkwardly.  So many people watching him was making him uncomfortable and now his friends would find out what he hid from them and they’d hate him and what if they somehow found out his secret?  Sirius lightly puts a hand on his knee, noticing him panicking before anyone else, save for his parents.  Remus takes a quiet deep breath.

“So remember when I got the password?” The boys nod, “And I said I apologised for what happened in potions when he asked what I was doing there?”  Again they nod, “That’s not all he said.”  Instantly the boys were on edge, the adults realise at once that the problem with this boy goes a little deeper than they had originally believed.

“What else did he say?” Peter asks nervously, Remus bites his lip, Sirius’ eyes light up despite the situation reminding Remus of the first thing Sirius ever said to him and he blushes again before returning himself to the conversation.

“He asked why you all hang out with me.”  The others seem confused.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Remus looks down at his lap.

“Because you’re purebloods,” He mutters quietly, only Sirius hears him because he is right beside him and leant in knowing he was about to say something quietly.

“That means nothing!” Sirius says loudly and angrily.

“I know!  That’s what I told him!  You guys don’t care.”

“If you know that then why are you upset?”  The rest of the table didn’t know what was going on at this point and just wait until they have more clues.

“He said it was like that for now but sooner or later there would be pressure from home and you’d all turn on me.  Told me to watch my back,” Remus mutters, though this time the others hear him.

“That’s bullshit.” Sirius tells him.

“Sirius Black, that language is unacceptable.” Euphemia tells him sternly, he doesn’t calm down.

“I apologise for that but Remus you know that isn’t true.”

“I do, I just, it reminded me of something else that’s all.  It doesn’t matter.”

“What did he say?” James asks sounding rather upset.

“That we’d abandon Remus because we’re purebloods and he’s not.” Sirius replies angrily.

“Well I suppose he’ll be surprised when you’re all still friends at graduation.” Monty says, Peter nods, Remus shares a look with his parents who seem upset and guilty.

“Exactly, so don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it?!  Oh no.  This is personal.”

“Sirius.”

“No, he’s right, he can’t just say that.”

“James…” Remus just drops his head into his hands, Sirius wrapping an arm around him as he starts scheming, “Just don’t do anything rash.”

“Oh, don’t worry dear Remy, our retribution will be _very_ well planned,” Sirius promises, Remus sighs, “James, I think you may have been right about that thing to begin with.”

“SIRIUS NO!” Remus yells as James yells,

“YES!”  It is the single loudest noise anyone has ever heard Remus make, they all look at him in shock.

“Sirius there’s a reason we didn’t do…that.  Remember?”

“Yes.  Things have changed.”

“Not that much!”

“Well obviously we’re gonna do another thing first to prepare for the thing!  I’m not an idiot Remy.”

“Disagree,” Peter says looking as disapproving as Remus.

“Oh shut up Pete.”

“Sirius!” Sirius takes a deep breath.

“You’re right, that was uncalled for.  I’m sorry Pete, I’m just upset at Sn…Severus, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

“Don’t worry about it, but let’s just think everything about this through, okay?”

“Yeah, for instance, Potter, have you considered how Evans is going to feel?” James frowns, “She already things you’re a bigoted arse with self control issues, let’s not make that worse!”

“Why does she think this James?” Euphemia asks disapprovingly.

“When did she say that?” James asks, not even noticing his Mother had spoken.

“Yesterday when I told her I was coming here.”

“Wait, she’s been writing to you?”

“She wanted help with her homework, how’s that going by the way?” He asks turning to Sirius who shoves his nose as high into the air as it will go.

“I’ll have you know I answered a whole question on my own,” He replies, Remus claps sarcastically.

“Oh good work Sirius, a whole question!”

“Hey I tried!”

“Okay, everybody calm down!” Hope calls loudly, the boys all go silent.  “I think this is getting a little bit out of hand.  I think we all have a few questions for you boys, so please stop arguing long enough to answer them.”  They all look sheepish but nod, “Euphemia, I believe you tried to ask James something.”

“Yes, thank you Hope.  Now James, why does this Evans think those things about you?”

“Her name’s Lily.  And it may have something to do with the fact that S-everus is her best friend.” Monty sighs, “Sirius annoys her too though!”

“She’s amused by him, you just irritate her,” Remus tells him.

“I don’t try to!”

“Remus, no arguing.”

“Sorry Mum.”

“Okay one more thing though, why didn’t you tell us earlier?  About what he said,” Sirius asks Remus who shrinks in on himself again.

“I was trying to avoid another confrontation with him, I didn’t want you guys in more trouble and I thought it would upset you.” Sirius tilts his head at him.

“It does upset us.  What _he_ said upset us.  We aren’t upset with you.” Remus looks more uncomfortable, “You were worried we’d be upset with you or abandon you because we wouldn’t want people saying stuff like that about us?” He looks more uncomfortable.

“Remus, you idiot, of course we aren’t upset with you!  He’s just a…mean person.  I don’t care what he says about me, I care that he upset you.  People can say whatever they like about this though, you are my friend and that is not changing.  That’s what upsets me, it’s the same reason I went off at him to begin with, I don’t like people upsetting my friends,” James tells him, Sirius tightens his hold around him.

“How can Evans be friends with someone like him?” Peter asks suddenly.

“She hates me, she likes him, clearly she just has bad taste.”

“Yeah, that’s going to help your chances with her,” Sirius comments dryly, Remus smiles slightly as Peter laughs at him.

“Unnecessary,” James tells him with a glare, Sirius just laughs at him, “Why did I invite you guys over here again?”

“I don’t know, but your parents are nice so there are upsides,” Sirius replies.

“Yeah well…shut up.”  Sirius, James, and Peter all chuckle while Remus’ lips twitch upwards slightly.

“This food is very nice by the way,” Peter comments to James’ parents who smile.

“Thank you, I made it myself.”

“You did?” Regulus asks surprised, Sirius looking just as surprised.

“What did we just step into here?” Lyall asks not unkindly after a moments silence.

“We just, um,” Regulus stutters.

“We didn’t know people _could_ cook,” Sirius finally admits, still looking shocked.

“House elves?” James asks, the brothers nod, “Yeah we have two of those, Perry and Tilla, but Mum likes cooking.”

“What’s a house elf?” Remus asks, his friends look confused.

“Oh, I forgot you went to Muggle primary school,” James says suddenly.

“Ohhh,” Sirius and Peter both say.

“It’s a creature that acts as a servant only they actually like serving people, if they’re with a good family.  Some people seriously mistreat them,” Lyall explains for Remus and for Hope, both of whom nod.

“What happens to the people that mistreat them?” Remus asks, everyone save for Hope and Regulus suddenly look distinctly uncomfortable.

“I didn’t even know you _could_ mistreat them,” Reg says, Sirius flinches slightly.

“Reg, you know how Mother and Father get angry with Kreacher and yell at him and throw stuff at him?” Reg nods, “You aren’t supposed to do that.”

“But they do that to _us_ too.” Sirius blushes.

“They aren’t really supposed to do that either, but it’s not like their aim is very good so…” Sirius trails off awkwardly.

“Well _there_ _’_ _s_ a way we could test the thing,” Remus mutters, Sirius straight up laughs.  Of course no one but he had heard Remus speak, and he had been looking down so no one could see he had.  Basically, Sirius just looks insane.

“Um, Sirius?” Euphemia asks concerned, James rolls his eyes.

“Remy does that.  Makes us look insane and gets us in trouble.”

“Not my fault you have the self-control of a drunk two-year-old.”  Sirius laughs harder.

“McGonagall is right, that is annoying, Remy what are you saying?!”

“I didn’t say anything, why do you people always blame me?!” He asks, frustration clear in his voice, Peter chuckles as James’ eyebrow twitches and Sirius’ face goes red from laughing.  The adults look amused.

“Well, this certainly hasn’t been boring,” Harlene comments, the adults laugh.

Ryan and Harlene leave not long after, hugging their son goodbye and telling him to write to them.

“Would you mind if we had a moment with Remus before we leave?” Lyall asks the others, taking in the pinched expression of Hope’s face, they all leave quickly.

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Hope asks Remus, kneeling down and putting her hands on his shoulders.

“I’m fine Mum.”

“I thought I banned the use of that word.”

“Okay, I’m a little bit tired but I’m all right and I’ll be okay here.” Hope hugs him close.

“These are good friends you’ve found here, I am so happy for you and proud of you.  Just watch what you say, they mustn’t find out,” She tells him, he nods solemnly.

“They won’t.”

“We love you son.  Be careful,” Lyall tells him.

“Hey Dad, do you know what my name means?” He asks, his Father shakes his head, “Basically wolf wolf.”

“You know I don’t know whether to laugh or cry,” Lyall tells him, Remus smiles widely.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking.”  Remus bites his lip hesitantly, “I um, s-say Happy Christmas for me, to, well, you know.”  Hope’s smile drops from her face as she nods solemnly.

“All right, let’s say goodbye to everyone then.”  They get everyone back in the room and say goodbye, then Lyall and Hope leave.  Then it’s time for Regulus to go, Sirius hugs him tightly.

“Reg, remember…”

“Don’t tell Mother or Father that I met Hope or that Remy was here.  Don’t mention what you told me, don’t say anything about Monty and Euphemia’s views on anything, and don’t mention anything about Muggles at all.”

“You’re forgetting something Little Brother, the most important thing.” Regulus gets a look of concentration on his face, it’s rather adorable on the nine-year-old.  It strikes everyone rather suddenly how young Regulus is, how young Sirius is too.  Then just as suddenly, it strikes Remus how young _he_ is.  He knows he’s more grown up than people his age, has been since he was four, but this is the first time he’s mourned the loss of his childhood instead of his future.  Suddenly Regulus’ face lights up.

“Don’t forget to write,” He says, Sirius nods.

“Good job.  I’ll come home next holidays I promise.  Then we’ll do something, just the two of us.”

“Goodbye Siri,” Reg says, hugging his brother.

“I love you Reg.” Regulus seems confused.

“What does that mean?”

“It means I care about you more than anyone else,” Sirius replies with tears in his eyes.

“Oh, I love you as well,” Regulus tells his brother with a smile, “Thank you for lunch Euphemia, good bye everyone,” He says before he floos home.

“You all right Sirius?” Remus asks, Sirius seems to debate something for a moment before he shakes his head.

“Reg should know what I love you means.  They should have taught him what it means.”  Remus wraps his arms around him.

“Then we’ll teach him what it means.”

“We?”

“If you think we just went through that entire lunch and didn’t adopt your little brother as our own little brother, you’re crazier than your cousin,” James tells him, Sirius laughs while Remus looks confused.

“What did I miss?”

“Well, it all started last Christmas…”


	4. Sickness

Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

The boys enjoyed their last days of holidays before it was back to school, the Potters took them to the platform and were saying goodbye when James stopped responding to anything said.

“A galleon says when I turn around it’s Evans behind me that he’s staring at,” Sirius says when he sees James staring off into space.

“Neither of us are stupid enough to take that bet,” Peter tells him as they turn around and see Lily, she looks over and waves at them, walking over.

“Remy, Peter, Black, Potter, Hi,” She says, the last name with less enthusiasm than the others.

“Hey Lily, how’d it go with Petunia?” Remus asks, she sighs.

“Still not talking to me, apparently I’m too much of a freak in front of her friends and it’s my fault.”

“You know that’s not true, right?”

“Yes, it’s still frustrating though.  I’m sorry I’m being rude, I’m Lily Evans,” She says, holding out a hand to the Potters, Monty takes it instantly with a large grin on his face.

“Fleamont Potter, it’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Evans.”

“Fleamont Potter as in the potioneer?” He nods, “That’s so cool!  Why are you so bad at potions?” She asks James, Sirius snorts as James’ eyes narrow.  He opens his mouth to say something that probably would have ended up offensive in some way when Remus stomps on his foot.

“Lily?”

“Over here!” Two adults and a teenager walk out of the crowd, the teenager looking like she’d rather be anywhere else.

“We’re about to head off,” The man says, “Who’s this?”

“Oh, Dad this is my friend Remus Lupin.”

“Ah, the boy who was helping you over the holidays, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you Mr Evans,” Remus replies, shaking the man’s hand.

“This is Sirius Black, the one who keeps high-fiving me when I try to answer a question.” Mrs Evans laughs at that, “That’s Peter Pettigrew, and that’s Potter.”

“Nice to meet you all.”

“Guys this is my Mum and Dad, and that’s my big sister Petunia.”

“Did you just…?”

“I meant older!”

“I’m not old.”

“Petunia, I just meant you were born first,” Lily explains, frustrated.

“Well at least I was born normal.”

“Leave her alone Pettie,” Severus says, appearing behind Lily’s parents.

“Ah, Sev, there you are.  We were just meeting some of Lily’s other friends,” Mrs Evans tells him.

“I appreciate that Mrs Evans, but I’m pretty sure Remy is the only she called a friend and I have to say, I am deeply offended,” Sirius complains dramatically.

“Let me answer a question in class sometime and we’ll talk, Black,” Lily replies dryly to the amusement of everyone save for one person, well, and Petunia.

“Oh, what joy this is,” Severus drawls.

“Can we all just agree here that literally none of us spoke a word to him?” Sirius asks.

“Sirius, please,” Remus asks him looking troubled, Sirius deflates.

“Well, I have to say I didn’t think they’d last this long.  Lupin, you use me against my housemates again and you will…Siriusly…regret it,” Severus tells him before storming off onto the train.  James starts muttering under his breath angrily as Remus grabs Sirius’ arm to stop him going after Severus.

“Well, it was lovely meeting you all, but we should probably get on the train,” Peter says awkwardly as Lily drops her head into her hands and groans.

“Can you not be civilised with him for thirty seconds?” Lily demands of them.

“Hey, we didn’t even do anything!” James says, she glares at him, “And she’s angry at me again.  Women!” James exclaims before he too storms off.

“Don’t worry Lily, I’ll punch him for that when we get on the train.”

“Thank you, Remy,” Lily says though she still looks angry, she glares until Sirius leaves as well.

“Pete can I meet you on the train?” Peter looks between Remus and Lily dubiously but nods and goes on.

“What’s up?”

“I just wanted to thank Euphemia and Monty for letting me stay with them for two days, I had a lot of fun,” Remus says to the Potters who smile, Monty shakes his hand and Euphemia hugs him.

“Any time Remus, we’ll be keeping in touch with your parents too.”

“Oh um, would you mind showing us how to get off the platform?  I’m a bit paranoid about running into a pillar,” Mr Evans asks the couple who nod.

“Of course.”

“All right, good bye Lily, we’ll see you in a few months.”

“Bye Mum, bye Dad, bye Petunia.”  Petunia sneers as she leaves.  “Okay, what’s up?” Lily asks Remus, linking her arm around his as the two head towards the train.  He bends his arm so that hers is just resting in the crook of his elbow.

“You know the only reason James doesn’t like Severus is because he upset his friends, right?”

“That doesn’t give him the right to be an ass to him!”

“I know, I’m just saying that maybe James isn’t the only problem in that scenario.  Severus isn’t exactly helping things.” Lily sighs.

“It’s just, Sev was my only friend growing up, and Petunia was cruel and he would help me with her.  He’s always been my anchor and I don’t know why he’s lashing out like this but all I can really see is Potter antagonising him and making things worse!” Remus puts a hand on her shoulder.

“I know.  But if you saw him away from Severus, you might find that he’s not so bad.” Lily bites her lip but nods.

“I guess he’s fun in the common room,” She says, Remus has a hopeful glint in his eye, “Okay, mainly for the fact that you’ve said many words just now and I know you hate talking, if he leaves Severus alone, I will give him another chance.” Remus winces, “What?”

“Um, nothing.”

“He’s planning something isn’t he.”  Remus thinks of hundreds of ways to respond to that yet all that really sticks with him is _it_ _’_ _s all my fault, I shouldn_ _’_ _t have said anything, it_ _’_ _s all my fault._

“I’ll sort it.  But Severus has to leave them alone as well.”

“But not you?” Lily asks, Remus shrugs.

“He doesn’t bother me so much,” Remus lies, after all, the thing that had bothered him the most Severus couldn’t possibly have even truly hinted to.

“Thank you, Remy, you’re a good friend.  To me and to Potter.”  Lily leaves and Remus searches for his friends.

He finds them in a compartment about five minutes later and takes the seat beside Sirius and across from Peter.

“What was that about?” James asks looking vaguely annoyed, Remus ignores it.

“She says she’ll give you another chance if you leave Severus alone, and she’s going to try to get him to leave all of you alone too.”

“But our retribution!” Sirius complains immediately.

“What’s more important, this pointless retribution or James’ future with a girl he really likes?”  Remus asks, everyone falls silent.  They literally do not speak again for the entire train ride, when it finally does stop, James looks at him.

“We should start planning what we’re going to do to him.” Remus looks at him disbelievingly, “I want her to like me, I really do.  But you haven’t asked me which is more important between vengeance and Evans.  You’ve asked me to choose which is more important, a girl I…shut up Sirius, I like, or standing up for you,” James says, Remus looks entirely shocked,  “So, what’s the plan Sirius?  How do we begin with the thing?”

“We’ll go to the room after dinner and start planning.”

“What about curfew?” Peter asks, James smirks.

“I think I can help with that.”

 

After dinner, the four head back to the room they’ve planned most of their pranks in.  Over the first term they’d set it up quite well, and to Remus’ intense relief, the books were nearly finished sorting.  He only had a shelf left!

“Okay, so how do we find out what this stuff does?” Peter asks.

“Well we test it obviously,” James says, Remus looks at him like he insane but hesitates before speaking, “Nope say it, whatever you were about to say, say it.”  Remus looks surprised, “Yes we can tell when you’re heavily editing your sentences.  Usually you end up giving a word or two in response when you do so but this is serious…shut up Sirius, so we need the truth.” Remus sighs.

“The shelf we found it in was hidden behind a stone with the likeness of a snake etched onto it.  It has something to do with the Slytherin house.  Now obviously it’s no where near as old as Salazar Slytherin himself, but it’s still very old.  My point is, Slytherins aren’t exactly known for their harmless pranks.  This could be lethal.  We need to know before we use it.”

“So how do we find out?” Peter asks, Remus bites his lip, Sirius smirks making Remus blush.

“He’s thinking, stop distracting him,” James scolds Sirius who rolls his eyes, Remus turns away to hide the still growing blush.

“But he’s cute when he blushes!”  James sighs at his friend.

“And _I_ _’_ _m_ the one with the crush.” Peter laughs at James’ words.

“Shut up,” Sirius says, Remus turns to look at them sharply, “And?”

“How does a late night heist sound?”  They all look dubious, “James, how did you get into the Slytherin common room?  What’s your plan for getting us up to the dormitory without being seen?”  James reaches into the back he brought with him and pulls out a cloak, pulling it around himself.

“Merlin’s Balls!” Sirius’ eyes light up like Reg’s on Christmas, Remus just looks satisfied in a way that makes James think if he were anyone else he’d be smirking or grinning madly.

“I have a plan.”

 

“So, I’ve just realised something,” Peter says suddenly.

“That we’re invisible not unhearable and you should keep your voice down?” Sirius suggests harshly and quietly.  To Remus he sounds just as loud since he had opened his wolf-like senses up so that he could see better in the dark and hear if someone’s coming.  The stench of Peter’s nervous sweating is killing him, but he can’t bring two senses to the forefront of his mind without the others following.

“I think the word you’re looking for is muted, or silenced I suppose but muted fits better because the sound would still be being made you just wouldn’t hear it,” Remus tells him quietly, Sirius sighs.

“You’re lucky you’re cute or I would hit you.”

“Somehow, you hitting him sounds preferable to you hitting _on_ him,” James mutters, Sirius hits him, “Preferential treatment!”

“Would you all shut up!” Sirius demands in a whisper.

“Didn’t you say you realised something, Pete?” James asks a minute of silence later, Sirius sighs.

“The restricted section is locked.”  They all stop walking, huddled under the cloak of invisibility.

“Remus, read anything helpful?” James asks him in a hopeful whisper, Remus thinks through all the work and extra work he’d done the last term and remembers.

“I can open it.”  They start moving again, “I wonder if we would hear it.”

“What?”

“If the cloak did mute us.  Because we can still see each other but others can’t see in, so by that logic we would still hear ourselves, but sounds can be a bit trickier.  I mean there are simple spells to mute a person speaking or an area so that others outside it can’t hear inside it, but charming an object to do so would be extremely complicated.” Sirius turns to look at him.

“Merlin, you are such a damn nerd, why am I attracted to you?”

“Oh, I question why that had to happen daily,” Remus mutters, glaring at him, Sirius pokes his tongue out at him, “Real mature.”  He tilts his head to the side, listening intently.  _Footsteps, three minutes eighteen seconds out, too far to warn them now without arousing suspicion. Library still four minutes and six seconds away at current pace.  Speeding up will cause too much noise, they_ _’_ _ll be found.  They need to stop,_ “Wait, I think we’re going the wrong way,” Remus whispers, pulling them over to stand by the wall.  The others wait as he pretends to consult his inner map.

“Remus?” James asks thirty-seven seconds later.

“Wait,” He tells them knowing he’d have to say something else to stop them from continuing. _Two minutes thirty-six, I need to stall,_ “Guys I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Yes, I know, you think it’s a bad idea,” James says, Remus puts a hand over his mouth to silence him, _footsteps within hearing range of a talented human_.

“Footsteps,” Sirius says very quietly.  They stand still as the Herbology teacher walks by them, they wait until they can no longer hear her, Remus hears her continuing to walk away.

“How did you…?” Peter asks Remus who shrugs.

“Just a gut feeling.”

“Man, I like your gut,” Sirius says, Remus huffs out a laugh.

“I can’t tell if that’s you attempting to flirt with me again or not.”

“I can’t either, let’s just keep walking.  How far out are we?”

“Four minutes six seconds.”

Four minutes and seven seconds later they enter the library, Remus complains that they dawdled, James chuckles quietly as Peter snorts and Sirius huffs.

“You’re up Remy,” James tells him as they get to the locked door.

“Alohomora.” The door opens, James high-fives him, neither acknowledge the slight flinch Sirius gives, still not great with hands being raised around him.  He’s okay now if he initiates the high-five though because he’s completely expecting it.  Remus takes his hand and squeezes it reassuringly as they enter the room, Sirius squeezes it back before they both let go.

“What are we looking for?” Peter asks.

“Sirius?” Remus asks, Sirius takes a deep breath.

“Blood Magic.” 

Ten minutes later Sirius stops them.

“Here,” He says pointing to a book.

“Vim Sanguinis,” Remus reads the title.

“The Might of Blood.”

“You speak Latin?” James asks him, Sirius shrugs.

“A bit, Reg and I used to have a tutor for it.  She quit a little over a year ago.”

“Why?” Peter asks.

“She was mean to Reg.” They all accept that as answer enough.  Sirius goes to pull the book out when James catches his hand.

“Don’t you think there might be some kind of protection on it or something?”

“Only one way to find out,” Sirius says with a shrug as he pulls the book down, “If anything happens when I open this, run.”

“We aren’t leaving you behind,” James tells him strongly, Sirius scoffs.

“Of course you aren’t, I meant all of us you baffoon, you think I’m dying over this?  Hell no.”  Remus gives a breathy chuckle, Sirius turns his wand towards his face, Remus shutting his eyes quickly against the light when he saw it happening and letting his senses fall back into the background before opening them.

“What?”

“Checking if I made you smile.” Remus’ lip twitches up slightly, Sirius grins at the success.  He opens the book, and to everyone’s relief, nothing happens.  They sit on the ground as Sirius starts reading.

“This is boring,” Peter says.

“How long did he last?” James asks.

“Forty-eight seconds.”

“Oh, come on guys, it _is_ boring.”

“Okay well, I am trying to read a book, written in a language I barely know, about a subject I am only vaguely familiar with.  So, if you’re going to make noise, do it somewhere else.  Why don’t you guys go look for books in English?” James and Peter get up to continue looking, but Remus stays behind and sits quietly beside Sirius with his notebook in case something needs to be written down, “Oh Merlin.”

“What?”

“I think I found it.  Two drops of potion, one drop of blood?”  Remus nods, “I can’t read much of this but it’s something about an avatar and a distraction.  I can read the potions ingredients though.”

“Tell me.”  Remus writes down all the ingredients and their quantities as Sirius reads it out, “Okay, that’s it,” He says, Remus nods, taking a deep breath, “Wait, you know how I said Blood Magic takes a huge price?”

“Vaguely.”

“Non erit realis, sed est destrui. Paratus.”

“What does that mean?”

“It will be real but it is destroyed.  Ready.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“Literal translations rarely do.  I think what it means to say is that whatever this avatar thing is will be alive somehow and we’ll have to destroy it.”  The boys exchange nervous looks at that when they hear the door to the restricted section open and freeze as Sirius immediately shuts off his light.  Neither of them have the cloak.  Remus brings his wolf senses to the surface again, grabs Sirius’ hand and whispers.

“Trust me.”

“I know you’re in here,” They hear Filch call as Remus pulls Sirius along to where he can hear the other two are while being as silent as possible.  Eventually they find them, Remus hearing their footsteps and reach out, lifting the cloak enough for he and Sirius to get underneath it.  Without speaking, Sirius urges the other two to start moving as Remus leads them back to the door, artfully dodging Filch and making it to the door.  They open it quietly but it shuts loudly behind them.

“Colloportus,” Remus mutters at the lock before the four hurry off, they all hear Filch banging angrily on the door when he finds himself locked in.  They don’t make a sound or stop moving until they say the password for the portrait and enter the common room, immediately heading to their room.  Only then do they pull off the cloak.

“Quick thinking back there Remus, good work,” James tells him, he nods though he does not smile.  He and Sirius exchange looks, looking to the notebook in Remus’ hands with the translations.

“Like I said.  Blood Magic is bad.” Remus nods in agreement.

“What do you mean?  Did you find anything?”  Sirius nods.

“We aren’t doing it.”

“But Si…”

“No James.  I was right to begin with.  Blood Magic _always_ has a hefty price, and by the sounds of things, this one is _way_ too high.”  James seems to accept the seriousness of the situation and nods.

“Okay, then what do we do about Snivellus?”

“Nothing,” Remus replies.

“But…”

“No!  This endeavour we’ve risked detention by being out after curfew, suspension by breaking into the restricted section, expulsion by actually looking through the texts, and to top it off, we locked the caretaker in there!  Only to find out that what we had we can’t use!  And I’m sorry, but I’ve just been shown why those books are restricted, why we learn to use our magic safely.  It’s dangerous and we treat it like a joke.  I can’t do that, not tonight.  So please, can we just let it go?  I don’t even care about what he said anymore.”

“At the very least we should go to sleep, we’ll deal with this in the morning,” Sirius tells them, they all agree.

 

The next morning at breakfast, none of them speak to each other.  This isn’t so strange for Remus, but it’s odd behaviour for the others.  Dumbledore gets everyone’s attention.

“Good morning.  Unfortunately, I do not greet you with good news.  It has come to my attention that last night a student broke into the restricted section of the library.  Not only that but they locked Mr Filch inside.” Mild laughter is heard throughout the room, but silenced easily by Dumbledore raising a hand,  “While this may sound amusing to you, I must warn you.  The book this student accessed was filled with highly dangerous and in some cases even lethal magic, one not easily undone.  Whoever you are, I implore you to forget what you’ve read.  Whatever reason you had to go looking for such a tome, I promise you, it will not be worth it.  Thank you.”  The room is filled with whispers, and while Remus doesn’t wish to speak, he realises they will attract attention by not doing so, he’s quite adept at not attracting attention.

“I wonder what they were looking for,” He says quietly to the others, James easily catches on to what he is doing.

“Nothing good, that’s for sure,” He tells them with a carefree air that surprises no one.

“Probably just looking for a thrill, like the time you dared me to tie the sheet of my bed around the bed post and wrap the other end around my waist and hang out of the window,” Sirius tells him, Remus looks at him tiredly.

“No Sirius, I told you _not_ to do that.  You did it anyway and served three weeks of detention for your own idiocy.”

“Oh yeah…”

“How are you not dead yet?” Lily asks as she, Marlene, Mary, and Alice come from where they were sitting down the table a bit to sit beside them.

“I give death a charming smile.”

“And he’s so repulsed he sends you back to the land of the living?” James suggests.

“Some friend you are,” Sirius tells him, throwing a bread roll at him.  Remus gives James a look, looking over at Lily pointedly, James sits up straighter.

“I like your hair, did you do something different with it?” He asks her, she smiles slightly.

“I had it plaited overnight so it’s wavier than usual.”

“It’s very pretty.”

“Thanks,” She says with a blush, Remus nudges Sirius with his elbow, the two grin at each other.  Or rather, Sirius grins at him and he has a grin type look in his eye.  That was the thing about Remus, his eyes always gave him away long before his face would.

A minute later, McGonagall’s voice speaks up behind them.

“The Pink lady tells me you boys didn’t enter the common room last night,” She says with a vaguely threatening air.

“Professor we went in after dinner with everyone else,” James tells her.

“Everyone was heading in at once, maybe she just didn’t see us?” Peter suggests, McGonagall doesn’t seem convinced.

“Professor, if I may, the four of them definitely came out of there this morning but not in the big rush, so surely she can corroborate that.  And if they exited then clearly they had to have entered at some point.  The dinner rush is the only time there’s a reason she wouldn’t have seen them,” Lily points out to McGonagall who seems to ease up at her words.

“Of course, I suppose even you four would not be so reckless as to look into…well, nevermind.  Thank you for your help Miss Evans.”

“Thanks Evans,” James tells her.

“Only telling the truth Potter.” She replies, less sharply than she would have last term.  Remus looks over at the Slytherin table and sees Severus glaring at James again, they lock eyes.  Remus gives him a hard look, intending to make it clear he should leave James alone.  Severus’ eyes seem to glow an eerie yellow before he immediately looks back to his plate.  Remus doesn’t know what to make of that and decides to simply go back to eating and be glad the other boy has backed off for the moment, as has James’ plans for revenge.

 

“Okay I can’t be the only one still questioning what the hell that book meant, right?” Sirius asks Remus, it’s the day before the full moon so James and Peter are going to find food for them all for dinner while Sirius and Remus quietly go through Sirius’ homework.  Remus sighs, but shakes his head.

“It’s invading my sleep,” He admits.

“I know we agreed to leave it alone, and I was the one warning us away from it to begin with, but I _need_ to know what it does or I’ll go crazy!”  Remus bites his lip, “What?”

“I looked into all the ingredients to see if I could work out what the potion would do.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 _Because I felt like I shouldn_ _’_ _t be doing it and I didn_ _’_ _t want you to be angry at me._ Remus just shrugs, Sirius raises an eyebrow at him but says nothing.  Days like today weren’t days to push him.

“What did you find?”

“You remember how it spoke about an avatar?  Well the ingredients in them are used in potions like skelegro and other things to do with regrowing tissue and organs and stuff.”

“What does that mean?”

“It mentioned a distraction, and the use of blood, I think it makes a copy of whoever’s blood we use.” Sirius looks pensive.

“So, what it said about it being real but having to be destroyed…”

“It would actually _be_ that person in every way.  Memories and mannerisms, but there couldn’t just be two of a person around.”

“So, had we done as James suggested and just use it, we’d have had to kill one of our closest friends?” Remus nods, “Okay, let’s never ever ever do that.  Ever.”

“Never do what?” James asks as he and Peter walk in.

“Nothing,” Both boys say at once, James looks at them with suspicion while Peter just seems confused.

“Okayyy, Remy, where’s the map?  We found the kitchen,” Remus grabs the map from underneath the cushion on the window seat.  Peter marks it on the map and adds to the key to explain how to get in.

“We should have a name,” Peter tells them, “It’s annoying on letters when only one of us is away to write all our names like we did over the holidays.  And we could use it to refer to things we don’t want others to know.  Like the map, and the room.”

“What about…James and the Potters?”

“No,” Sirius shuts him down instantly.

“Let’s just work on this later,” Peter says, lowering the volume of his speech when he notices Remus’ pained expression.

“Yeah, how’s the homework going?” James asks Sirius quietly, Sirius looks at it guiltily.

“Sort of forgot about it…although…it _is_ literally skelegro isn’t it?” Sirius asks looking at the ingredients and then up at Remus who looks satisfied, he sees Sirius looking at him and purposefully smiles at him.  Sirius knows he isn’t one for smiling so he appreciates that and smiles back.

“What were you talking about that you suddenly recognise skelegro?”

“Skelegro,” Remus deadpans, Peter snickers as James glares at him.  Sirius gives James a shit-eating grin, James sighs.

 

The next day is hard on everyone, Remus takes ages with moving, can’t count to know when to leave, and takes them in the wrong direction.  Luckily, the boys were getting used to it and had brought the map.  None of them could read it, but if he had it in front of him Remus could follow it and get them there.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only problem.  Sirius woke up looking about as bad as Remus felt, but had tried to be fine since he knew Remus put up with feeling like crap all the time.  By the end of first lesson though, Professor Binns had ordered him back to his dormitory with instructions to go see Madam Pomfrey is he starts feeling any worse.  As he left, Sirius had James promise to high-five Evans every time she raised her hand and promised he’d know if he didn’t, so he did.  She didn’t take as kindly to it as she did with Sirius, but in the end put up with it.

Remus leaves at three, glad that the full moon is rather late tonight and he goes to all of his classes though he has to leave early from Charms.

 

When Remus wakes up in the hospital the next day, he immediately knows everything is in shambles.  His friends were there, as per usual, only Remus could see it was about mid-day and they should be in class.  More than that, Sirius and James were at their own beds, Peter was sitting beside him, and to his surprise so was Marlene, further down he could see Evans on a bed getting what looked to be a black eye fixed, Severus had a broken nose, on the bed beside her.   Now that he was looking, Remus thinks he sees a fading bruise on Peter’s jaw.

“What in Merlin’s name happened?” Remus asks weakly, Peter looks up at him and smiles.

“Well, um…” He stutters.

“Pete?” Peter sighs.

“So, you know how James was high-fiving Evans?” Remus nods, vaguely remembering it from the day before, “Well Sirius ended up sick enough to land himself in here, and then James was sick too, so he asked me to do it and I don’t know I guess I was just excited about it and…”

“He accidentally slapped her in the face, really hard,” Marlene tells Remus with a bright grin.

“Yeah, then Snivellus got all defensive and punched me in retaliation.”

“Which I thought was out of line, so then I punched him,” Marlene finishes, “Sprained my wrist too but that’s healed now.  We have to wait for Professor Slughorn and our acting head of house to get here before we can leave so Pete and I thought we’d sit here and wait for you to wake up which, by the way, what the hell _happened_ to you.  You look like you got pushed in front of the Hogwarts Express.”

“Thanks Marlene, I appreciate that,” Remus replies snarkily, Marlene raises an eyebrow at him, he frowns as he thinks over what he said and then winces, “Sorry.”

“He does that when he’s tired,” Peter tells her, she looks at him disbelievingly.

“That is not tired, that is trying to pick pocket an angry Auror,” She says pointing at Remus who looks away, ashamed.  She was right, he wasn’t tired, he was just broken, and wrong, and weak, and sick.  He’s a mess and it’s not okay, it never will be.

“So, what’s wrong with Sirius and Potter?” Remus asks, changing the subject, Marlene seems to melt at the sight of his sad eyes and reaches out, taking his hand.

“Food poisoning, apparently a few other students have been in with it but haven’t been stupid enough to try to ignore it as long as those two buffoons did.  The teachers are checking in with the kitchens to find out what’s going on.  Professor McGonagall got it too, had the day off teaching.  She’s fine though, resting in her quarters.” Then the doors open and the two head of houses walk in, “Or was until she had to be called out to deal with this…” Marlene trails off sheepishly, getting up and going with Peter over to Lily, Severus, McGonagall, and Slughorn.  Sirius and James both get out of their beds and make their way over to Remus’ now that he’s awake and Madam Pomfrey is distracted.

“Explain, now,” McGonagall says sternly, she seems pale but otherwise fine.

“Um, I was trying to high-five Evans, but I missed and accidentally hit her in the face.  Hard,” Peter tells her looking guilty, “Which I really am…”

“You’ve apologised five-hundred times Pete, it was an accident, it’s fine,” Lily tells him.

“So how did everyone else end up injured?  We were told of a brawl,” Slughorn tells them, Marlene shifts on her feet slightly.

“It wasn’t a brawl so much as a…mild over reaction to events,” McGonagall doesn’t seem impressed, “So, Severus didn’t really see what happened besides Pete slapping Lily in the face and her falling out of her chair in surprise and crying, which seriously, Pete, how hard were you going to high-five her?  Anyway, so he punched Peter in the face for it,” She says, both teachers turn to Severus who does not seem at all repentant.

“Then?” Slughorn prompts.

“Well I thought that was ridiculous, obviously Pete would never have purposely hurt Lily, and he just straight up punched him for no reason, it was uncalled for and unnecessary.”

“So you?” McGonagall asks.

“I punched him.” McGonagall sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“And you two fit into this how exactly?” She asks Sirius and James who look to be trying not to laugh.

“Honestly Minnie, we are here for a totally unrelated reason.  Well not unrelated, Pete was only trying to high-five her because I wasn’t there to do it.  But for once we had nothing to do with the trouble.”

“Emphasis on for once,” Lily tells them, Sirius winks at her, James elbows him in the stomach, Sirius rushes back to his bed to grab the bucket he’d been given and vomits into it.

“Sorry Sirius!  I didn’t think that through,” James tells him as Madam Pomfrey goes over to help Sirius, Sirius waves him off even as he vomits.

“Nice one Potter,” Lily tells him, he winces.

“Yeah, that was my bad.”

“Oh, you _can_ admit it.”

“Shut it Evans.”

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Severus demands angrily.

“Don’t talk to him like that!  He’s only joking around,” Marlene defends, both standing up and facing each other angrily.

“Everybody calm down, let’s not cause another fight,” Remus tells them with surprising strength, it’s probably the loudest most had ever heard him speak.  The only time he’d raised his voice was when Remus was yelling at Sirius during the Christmas lunch at the Potter’s.  Everyone goes quiet, “There are better ways to deal with anger than yelling and fighting.  All of this could have been avoided if certain parties took a moment to think things through, honestly you’d think we were dealing with children,” He says as he lays back and closes his eyes against the light.

“He’s grouchy when he’s tired,” Peter tells the others, “He’ll feel bad about it later.”

“Grouchy or no, Mr Lupin is correct.  I expect this to be the last time I hear about such an incident.  Ten points from each of you, Miss McKinnon, Mr Snape, detention with me on Thursday,” McGonagall tells them all, glancing to Slughorn for his thoughts seeing as one of them was his student, he nods to her in agreement. _Oh is_ that _his last name._ Remus thinks, he’d never actually known Severus’ full name.

“What about Pettigrew?  He still slapped her,” Severus says angrily.

“By accident!” Marlene tells him, he glares at her but says nothing more.

“Poppy, when will everyone be released and able to return to class?” McGonagall asks.

“Those four can leave now, Mr Potter and Mr Black will be fine in a few hours.  Mr Lupin will have to remain overnight but he should be released tomorrow morning.”

“Very well, all of you back to class.  I expect you to be on your best behaviour.” Merlene, Severus, Lily, and Peter all nod and leave, Peter promising to come back later to see the other three and take notes in class for them.  Lily then promising to take more legible notes making Peter blush but not disagree.  Marlene smiles at him, throwing an arm around his shoulder as they all leave.

“You should get some rest,” McGonagall tells Remus before she and Slughorn both leave.  Sirius and James exchange looks as Madam Pomfrey heads into her office, telling them to call out if they need anything.  Sirius feels like he should attempt to flirt with her, she’s young and pretty, but at the moment he’s too focused on the following conversation.

“Remus, um, we just…” James begins awkwardly, wringing his hands as he speaks, it was a very un-James-like thing to do and worried Remus.  Sirius sighs.

“Okay look, you have to know that by this point we aren’t buying the whole, ‘going to visit your mother’ thing.  We don’t know why you’re hiding whatever is going on from us, and obviously you don’t have to tell us.  Hell, we aren’t even expecting you to any time soon.  We just want you to know, that whatever reason you have for not telling us, if it’s our reaction or your embarrassment or whatever, we don’t care.  We are here for you, and even if we don’t know why this is happening, you still don’t have to hide it from us.  So if you need help with anything, even if you don’t want to explain, just let us know,” Sirius tells him bluntly.  Remus had known they’d speak up eventually, he’s not really sure they ever really bought his lie about visiting his mother, but he also can’t tell them the truth.  In the end he just looks at them and smiles slightly.

“Thanks.”

“On the off chance we guess right, which we will do in private and away from anyone who could hear, will you tell us?” James asks, Sirius glares at him, but looks curiously back at Remus who, honest to Merlin, _smirks_.

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m only visiting my Mother,” He says, James sighs.

“I don’t know if that’s a yes or a no.”

“You’re just going to guess random things now, aren’t you?” Sirius asks him, he nods.

“First guess, you’re an alien, you use a special device to be able to breathe our atmosphere that you’ve managed to cloak, and once a month you have to go back to your ship to refill it?” James asks, Remus looks amused as Sirius chuckles, “Okay, not an alien, or at least that isn’t the right reasoning…still could be an alien, too soon to rule it out.”

“Or maybe he’s from underwater and _does_ have a device he needs to refill to breathe and it’s the alien part you’re wrong about,” Sirius suggests, James laugh.

"Could be."  They turn to Remus and see his eyes alight with humour but drooping slightly, “We’ll work on this, you get some sleep.”

Remus falls to sleep to the sound of them swapping bogus theories back and forth.  He knows at some point more reasonable ones will be asked, and eventually they may even get it right, but for now it’s funny and he’ll enjoy his time with his friends for as long as it can possibly last.  He’s afraid of them knowing, but he decides that now isn’t the time to worry about it, and so, he goes to sleep.


	5. The Loopdy-Doop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Straight up uploaded chapter 6 instead of 5.  
> It's fixed now, but sorry!

Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“Excuse me, might I borrow Mr Potter, Mr Black, Mr Pettigrew, and Mr Lupin?  The Headmaster would like to see them,” McGonagall says, poking her head into the greenhouse they are doing Herbology in today.

“Does that have something to do with why Severus isn’t in class today?” Lily demands of James as he walks past her.

“To be perfectly honest Evans, there’s a lot this one could be about,” He says as the four walk out.

“I did tell them not to do it,” Remus tells the girl as he walks past her.

“You realise it’s a violation of our deal, yes?”

“To be fair, Severus was meant to leave them alone too and he punched Peter in the face.”

“To defend me!”

“You didn’t need defending!”

“He didn’t know that.”  Remus opens his mouth, hesitates, then speaks.

“You’re right, I’ll fix this, don’t worry.”  She looks worried but nods gratefully.

“Mr Lupin,” McGonagall calls, little patience in her voice, Remus smiles at Lily one more time before heading out.

Eight Minutes and 3 seconds later, they reach Dumbledore’s office and McGonagall let’s them in, joining them inside where they find Severus and Slughorn waiting.

“I have to say boys, I am getting a little tired of being called away from my work to speak with you all,” Slughorn tells them, James opens his mouth to comment but Remus stomps on his foot.

“OW!” James says with a glare, Remus gives him a quelling look and he shuts up.  Severus turns to glare at them, and they see he has purple skin, James and Sirius both start laughing at him while Peter sniggers and Remus sighs, dropping his head into his hand.

“Professors, honestly, we had nothing to do with this one,” Remus tells them, and really, they didn’t.

“Then why did I hear you telling Miss Evans that you’d told them not to do something to Mr Snape?” McGonagall asks, Remus bites his lip.

“You might want to replace your inkpot, without opening it,” He tells Severus, McGonagall sighs while he glares at them all.

“I don’t know who did this or how they managed it, but they are now my idol!” Sirius tells them all when he calms down enough, James literally crying from laughing so hard as he leans on Remus’ shoulder.

“None of us have been successful at undoing what’s been done to Severus.  Even if this had nothing to do with you, given you foray with this sort of thing, perhaps you could help?” Dumbledore asks them, James shrugs.

“I’m sure we _could,_ ” He says, leaning against Sirius and looking at his nails like he doesn’t have a care in the world.  Sirius sniggers, Peter begins looking uncomfortable while Remus just sighs again.

“We’ve really begun to have enough of this childishness boys,” McGonagall tells them.

“But, Professor, we _are_ children,” Sirius tells her with an innocent look.

“Five points from Gryffindor Mr Black.” He sighs.

“Yes Professor.”

“Mr Lupin, perhaps you have an idea?” Dumbledore interjects before things get out of hand again, Remus looks at Severus.  Remus looks to Peter for a moment who seems to understand what he wants to say.

“I think the better question, Headmaster, is if he’ll accept the help from us.” Peter tells them, Dumbledore looks to Severus curiously.  He scowls at them, looks at his skin, scowls deeper, then turns back to Dumbledore and nods once.

“What exactly happened?” Remus asks Severus quietly.

“I had a shower, when I came out I looked like this,” He says as through gritted teeth.

“Hold up, you had a shower?  Do you just constantly forget shampoo then?” James asks, Severus glares at him, as does McGonagall.

“That was extremely unnecessary Mr Potter,” Slughorn tells him.

“Of course, Professor, I apologise,” He says with fake sincerity.

“What have you tried?” Sirius asks the teachers, now more curious about the prank than he is interested in tormenting Severus.

“Simple cleaning charms.  A mild form of acid from Poppy,” Dumbledore replies, Remus holds back the urge to roll his eyes as he moves forward and grabs a cup from Dumbledore’s desk.

“Can I borrow this?”  Dumbledore nods, “Aguamenti,” Remus says, pointing his wand at the cup, it fills with water.  Remus puts a finger in before dragging the finger across Severus’ face who looks at him like he’s insane but remains still, the colour comes off.  Remus nods like he was expecting this, then he dumps the cup of water over Severus’ face, the colour begins dripping off of him, “Take another shower with just water, throw out any toiletry products and get new ones,” He advises to the dripping student.  Severus looks unhappy but immediately leaves to do so.

“How did you…?” Slughorn asks in surprise, _you try acid before you try water?_ Remus bites back the comment.

“Severus sticks to himself, it would have been someone about our age.  I doubted they’d have thought to make sure unsoaped water wouldn’t undo it,” He replies, slouching in on himself as he returns to where he had been before beside James.

“Is that all Professors?” James asks politely as Sirius looks at Remus, slightly concerned but trying to hide it.

“Perhaps you should leave your classmate alone from now on,” Dumbledore tells them.

“With all due respect Sir, we did try that.  Didn’t speak or even look at him for almost a month.  Then he punched Pete in the face for no damn reason.”

“He thought Lily was in danger,” Remus mutters to them, “If it had been him to do that to her, what would you have done?”  James doesn’t seem to appreciate the question, but backs down all the same.

 

It’s a week later before anything happens again, the boys were studying in the room they’d claimed as their own and Remus was selected to go out to get them snacks from the kitchen.  On the way, he hears crying and follows the sound, he finds Lily curled up by a window, looking around he sees she is alone.

“Lily?” Remus asks, she turns quickly, wiping away her tears.

“I didn’t know anyone ever came around this part of the castle,” She admits, he shrugs.

“No one else really does,” He tells her, she nods sullenly, “What’s wrong?”  She cries again, he walks closer and debates what to do before he awkwardly puts an arm around her shoulders, she turns and buries her face in his chest.  Unsure what the protocol is for the current situation, he just wraps his other arm around her and holds her.  Eventually she calms down enough to answer his question, though she doesn’t pull away from him at all.

“Some of the Slytherins were mocking me for having muggle parents.  Severus was with me and I thought he’d speak up for me but he didn’t.  They told him he should go with them instead of hanging out with me, and he did.  He just left me there.”  Remus holds her tighter as she starts crying again.  When she stops again, he helps her stand up.

“Come on, I think Alice and Mary are in the common room, you shouldn’t be alone right now and they’re probably better at this than I am.” She chuckles at his words as he hoped she would.

“I don’t know, you’ve done pretty well so far,” She says as she walks with him, his arm still around her.

 

When they get to the common room, they walk in and find Mary, Alice, and Marlene looking worried, Marlene actually pacing in front of the fire place.

“Lily!  We’ve been looking for yo…what happened?” Alice calls when she notices Lily and Remus.  Lily just runs forward, hugging Alice, Mary quickly joining them.  Marlene walks over to Remus.

“What happened?” She asks quietly, he explains and she glares at the floor.

“I’m going to go find him, if my friends come back, don’t tell them.  Just tell them I…went to go see McGonagall for…some reason.  It doesn’t have to be good, I’ll tell them the truth later anyway.”  Marlene shakes her head.

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, stay here with Lily.  This really isn’t going to be pretty.” Marlene looks concerned but nods, he leaves.  It doesn’t take him long to find Severus, around him is Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix and Narcissa Black, and Rodolphus Lestrange.

“HEY, SNAPE!” Remus yells, not allowing himself to question his actions, as soon as Severus turns around he acts, “Incarcerous, Conjunctivito, Furnunculus!” He says in rapid favour, flinging all of them at Severus who blocks none of them.  The other Slytherins all pull out their wands, he ignores them as he stalks closer to Severus, “SHE DESERVES BETTER THAN YOU, YOU WEAK-WILLED BIGOTED SWINE!  You _ever_ pull that shit again or upset her in anyway, and I _will not hold back_.  Are we FUCKING CLEAR?!” Remus asks, rage pouring out of him, Severus looks as though his eyes would be widening were they not swollen shut as he squirms within the binds that tie him, boils appearing all over him, “Any of you have anything to say?” Remus asks, looking dangerously at everyone around him, they all step back slightly and lower their wands.  Bellatrix walks right up to him and kisses him full on the lips.  He blinks at her, stunned, when she pulls back.

“I like a man who can fend for himself,” She tells him with a wink.  He blinks again, then turns around and stalks off.

 

Remus decides to skip the middle man and goes to find McGonagall.

“Ah, Mr Lupin, what can I do for you?” She asks when he enters her office.

“I attacked Severus Snape…Quite severely.  You would have found out anyway, so I thought I’d save us all trouble and come tell you myself.”  She just stares at him, he pulls out his notebook, writes down the three spells he used and hands it over.  She looks at it, eyes widening considerably when she realises what it is.

“You understand this is very serious, yes?”

“Yes Professor.”

“If you are covering for one of your friends Mr Lupin, I would advise against it.”

“May I speak freely Professor?” He asks, she seems surprised at how…confident and assertive he was being, let alone loud.  She wasn’t straining to hear him at all and he was standing up perfectly straight.  She nods for him to continue, “The guy was a complete and total jackass to a girl who has relied on him and looked up to him since she was a young child.  Had I done nothing Potter would have and we’d probably be having this conversation in the hospital.  Now I realise I’ve done the wrong thing here and majorly crossed a line.  But I will not apologise because he deserved it, even if I know that is not for me to decide.”  Again she seems surprised, but she swallows, takes a breath and nods.

“One hundred points from Gryffindor, because you are right, you _have_ crossed a line.  You attacked another student Mr Lupin, that is _never_ okay.”

“Yes Professor.”

“And detention with me every Thursday for three months.”

“Yes Professor.”

“You will also be called into the Headmasters office tomorrow morning along with Severus and Miss Evans, you will explain to him exactly what happened, and we shall see if there will be any further punishment.  I will also be writing to your parents about this.”

“Yes Professor.”

“You may go,” She says rather reluctantly, she could see she would get no more from him at the moment, he nods and leaves.

 

When he finally makes it back to the common room, it’s to find James, Sirius, and Peter harassing Marlene to get more information from her and her looking completely done with their shit.  The relief on her face when she spots him is almost palpable.

“Is it dealt with?” Marlene asks him, remembering he plans to tell his friends the truth anyway, he nods.

“Possibly over-dealt with…and…weirdness,” He tells her, ignoring Marlene’s questioning face, “I will explain later but until tomorrow morning, the less you know the better.  Just in case,” He tells his friends who seem confused but nod. “How’s everything on this end?” Remus asks Marlene, purposefully vague, she nods.

“Much better, though worried about what you planned to do.”

“Yeah that turned out to be a fair call.  I’ll explain tomorrow,” He promises, she nods.

 

The next day he and Lily get called into Dumbledore’s office during first lesson, much to the confusion and worry of his friends, Severus had not been present in class.

“I thought we agreed you would stay away from each other?” Dumbledore asks as Remus enters the room to find Slughorn in attendance as well, “Should the others not be here?”

“No sir, this was all me.”  Lily bites her lip nervously, avoiding looking at Severus.

“What happened?” Dumbledore asks in a grandfatherly tone.

“Severus was a twat, sir.”  Dumbledore seems surprised by his response, Severus winces.

“He’s not wrong Sir, this was all my fault,” He tells the Headmaster to the surprise of Lily, Remus, McGonagall, and Slughorn.

“Severus, I stand by my saying you deserved it, but I attacked you and I made the decision to do that.  I hold as much responsibility for this as you do, possibly more.”

“I think what happened afterwards is punishment enough for you,” Severus says, Remus recognises the olive branch and smiles slightly.

“It was definitely unexpected.”

“Did you forget to tell me something Mr Lupin?” McGonagall asks unimpressed.

“It wasn’t terribly relevant, Professor.  But after I attacked Severus, well…apparently Bellatrix Black was impressed,” He says, clearing his throat afterwards as Severus snickers.

“Can I request an explanation because you’ve said you attacked him several times now and I am very confused.” Lily speaks up timidly.

“After I found you and brought you back to the common room I went and tracked Severus down.  He was with Malfoy, the younger two Black sisters, and Lestrange.  I cast a binding spell, the conjunctivitis curse, and the furnunculus jinx.  Then I yelled at him and called him some…not nice things.  At this point his _friends_ had pulled their wands out, I glared at them and asked if they had anything to say.  They all backed away except for Bellatrix who…” he trails off.

“Snogged him,” Severus adds off-handedly.

“It was not quite… _that_ but…essentially yes.”  Dumbledore looks highly amused, as does McGonagall, Slughorn looks very uncomfortable and Lily just looks horrified, “It was an interesting interaction.”

“What happened then?” Dumbledore asks.

“I went and told Professor McGonagall what happened.”  Everyone save for Dumbledore and McGonagall look at him in surprise.

“Why?” Severus asks confused, it seemed rather counter-productive to him.

“Because, justified or not I was in the wrong.  As Professor McGonagall said at the time, attacking a fellow student is never okay and I knew that going in.  There was no point in denying it, and seeing as I was in the wrong, it was only right to admit to my wrongdoings.”

“Only you can both attack someone and be responsible about it,” Lily tells him causing the three students to laugh.  Or her to laugh, Severus to snicker, and Remus to seem amused.

“I understand Minerva has already dealt you a punishment.”

“Yes Headmaster.” Dumbledore nods at him.

“Then I shall consider this situation dealt with, although, Miss Evans, what is it Severus did to upset you?”  Lily looks uncomfortable.

“The Slytherins that Remy mentioned before were mocking me for being a muggle-born, though they didn’t use that word exactly.  They told Severus he should go with them instead of hanging out with the likes of me, he went with them.”  Dumbledore turns to Severus with a frown.

“Like I said, Lupin is right Sir, I was a twat.  But Lily, I promise, that won’t ever happen again.  I should have told them to shove it to begin with.”  Lily debates for a moment before smiling slightly.

“If this is what it takes for you to get some sense knocked into you I’d have had Remy attack you ages ago,” She says with a laugh.

“Let’s never do this again though, yeah?” Remus suggests, the other two nod.

“I have to say, for such a…studious student, you can be very intimidating sometimes.  After you left the others said you should have been in Slytherin after that display. It certainly conveyed power,” He tells Remus who shakes his head.

“A Slytherin would have been sneaky about it, made a statement and gotten their message across.  Hand out their just desserts.  My actions were reckless and extreme.”

“Bellatrix certainly thought so, have you told Black that you snogged his cousin?”

“I did not snog her!” Remus insists as he blushes, Lily and Severus laugh.

“Right, I think perhaps you should all head back to class.”  They nod and leave, walking to their Charms class together.

 

When they enter, Lily goes to sit with Severus but smiles at him, Severus turning to him and giving a simple, “See you around Lupin.”

“Well they seem better,” Mary says from behind Remus after he takes his seat in between Peter and Sirius, “How much trouble are you in?”

“Well, Gryffindor lost one hundred points, I have detention with Professor McGonagall every Thursday for three months, I had to tell the Headmaster everything that happened, and Professor McGonagall is sending a letter home about it.”

“Merlin’s beard, what did you _do_?” Sirius asks from beside him.

“Attacked Severus, yelled at him a whole bunch too.  Apparently Malfoy, Lestrange, and two of your cousins now think I should have been in Slytherin for my intimidating nature and that blatant show of power,” He tells them with a sheepish smile, now that it was all over he shrinks back into himself.

“You line your quills up at the top of your desk and you fold your socks, what intimidating nature?” James questions with a laugh.  Sirius frowns at something across the room, Remus turns to see Bellatrix staring at him dreamily.  When she sees him looking she blushes and smiles, waving a little.  He sort of nods at her which makes her giggle, _rather cutely_ _too_ he thinks before shaking his head to rid himself of the thoughts.  He turns back and sees his friends looking at him questioningly.

“Also, your cousin kissed me,” He adds, Sirius’ eyes widen.

“No, what?!  No!” Sirius stutters as James and Marlene laugh, Peter looking as grossed out as Lily had.

“So what happened, did you punch him?  Kick him?  What did you yell at him?” Marlene asks in rapid fire, he shakes his head.

“No, when I said I attacked him, I meant with magic.”  They all widen their eyes.

“Damn you do not mess around,” Marlene says.

“What the hell did he _do_?” Sirius asks.

“He upset Lily, I found her crying in a corridor when I went to get snacks so I brought her back to the common room and immediately went to find him.  Got his attention and then threw the Incarcerous spell at him, then the conjunctivitis curse, and then the Furnunculus jinx.”

“Merlin’s beard!” Peter exclaims.

“What did you yell at him?  Come on, I want the gossip!”  Remus sighs, wishing this could all just be forgotten as soon as possible.

“Something about him being a weak-willed bigoted swine and Lily deserving better than him.  Told him if he ever pulled this…um…stuff again or upset her in any way I wouldn’t hold back,” He says with a wince, “It wasn’t exactly my finest moment,” He admits though the others are laughing.

“Why am I getting the feeling you didn’t use the word ‘stuff’?” Mary asks, Remus only just noticing her sitting beside Marlene, he winces again.

“Remus Lupin, did you…swear?!” Sirius asks with over-exaggerated surprise.

“I didn’t mean to, I just saw him and cursed him and then I was yelling and then practically daring the other Slytherins to join in and then I was being kissed and then I left.  It was all very confusing and overwhelming, okay?”

“The one time he loses the plot and we miss it!” Sirius complains, James looking proud of Remus while Peter pats him on the shoulder sympathetically.

“Well I say he deserved it, I still wish you’d let me go with you.”

“I told you it would get messy, I was right.  The less people involved the better.”

“I suppose things only would have been aggravated by my being there,” Marlene admits, he nods.

“Oh, we were thinking, number three on Saturday?” James asks Remus to the confusion of the girls, though he understands they mean to continue exploring the third floor, he nods, then it hits him.  The pattern of the stairs, just as class ends.  He gets up and sprints out to them, his friends following along confusedly.

“Remy?” Sirius asks, puffing slightly from the sudden and quick running, behind him are James, Peter, Marlene, Mary, Lily, and Severus.

“I got it!  How did I miss this?!”

“Miss what?” Lily asks as James, Peter, and Sirius sigh collectively.

“He’s been trying to work out the pattern the stairs move at for the entirety of the school year.”

“There’s a pattern?” Severus asks confused, Remus nods.

“Mmkay, we’ll take your word on th…  Um, Remy?” Mary says, Remus turns around to see Bellatrix approaching.

“Hi, I just wanted to give you this, I’ll see you around, yes?” Bellatrix asks as she looks up at him through her lashes and hands over an envelope.

“Um…yes?”  She smiles brightly, kisses him on the cheek, and walks off leaving a very confused Remus Lupin behind.

“I guess she hasn’t forgotten yesterday then?” Severus asks with an amused grin, Remus glares at him, he laughs.  Remus rolls his eyes, amused with the Slytherin.

“What is that?” Peter asks, looking at the envelope as though it would explode at any second, Remus shrugs and opens it, finding a letter.  He reads through it and blushes.

“What?” James asks, Mary walks over and grabs the letter, reading through it before laughing.

“I have to hand it to her, it’s pretty good.”

“What?!” James asks again.

“Love poem,” She says as Remus snatches it out of her hand and puts it back into the envelope, the others start laughing at him.

“Guess you have competition now Sirius.” Sirius looks affronted by James’ words.

“You think my cousin holds a candle to me?  Nuh-uh, Remy loves me too much.”  Remus sighs.

“We’re going to be late to transfiguration.”

“How long til we need to leave?” Peter asks him, Remus checks his numbers for the people present.

“Twelve seconds and we get there as Professor McGonagall starts rollcall.”

“Can we count those twelve seconds so we can find out if he’s right?” Marlene requests.

“Five seconds now,” James says, he had already been counting much to everyone’s amusement, Remus rolls his eyes, “And we’re off.”

 

Five minutes and twenty-one seconds later they walk into the classroom.

“There you all are, I was just starting the roll, please come in and take your seats,” McGonagall tells them, they all stand around staring at Remus save for Peter, James, and Sirius who are all used to it.

“This explains so much,” Severus mutters as he takes a seat, the others following suit as Remus ducks his head down, disliking the attention.  The lesson goes well, Sirius sitting on one side of Lily and Severus on the other, he high-fives her every time she raises her hand, as per usual.  Then he puts his hand up to answer a question and she high-fives him.  Everyone freezes for a moment, he looks at her grinning face and grins too.  McGonagall sighs, though she seems happy when Sirius gets the question right.

 

A few days later, Remus goes to the library before breakfast to do work since the common room was loud and distracting despite it being so early, and he needed a book from here anyway.  He’s reading through it when Bellatrix comes up and sits beside him.

“Hi,” She says brightly.

“Hello,” He replies awkwardly as he tries to do his work.

“I was thinking, we should go on a picnic by the lake for lunch.”

“I, um, I have a lot of work to do, in fact I should probably be getting back,” Remus says getting up, Bellatrix follows him as he goes to check the book out.

“It’s such a lovely day though and I’ve really been wanting to see the giant squid the older students talk about,” She continues as he walks out of the library, “Or if not outside, we could sneak up to the astronomy tower with a picnic, the view must be amazing.”

“Listen, Bellatrix, I um, I just don’t think this is a good idea,” He tells her, awkwardly gesturing between them, “I’m sorry,” He says, turning and walking away.

“I know what people say about me,” She calls, her voice more serious and down to Earth than he’s ever heard, he stops walking and turns back to her, “I know they call me crazy.  Sirius has probably told you all kinds of things about me as well.  But if you give me a chance, I can show you they are wrong.  I’m no crazier than anyone else, not really, I just like having fun.  I want to have fun with you.”

“You started being interested in me after I attacked your friend, that doesn’t exactly sound sane to me,” He tells her honestly, she smiles shyly.

“I knew he was fine, and not many people would have had the guts to do that, just to protect a friend…” She trails off, “Unless she isn’t just a friend.  Is that why you don’t want to go out with me?”

“No, no, Lily is so very much _just_ a friend,” He assures her, eyes wide at the implication.  She smiles again, walking closer to him.

“I was impressed by you standing up for your friend, and maybe I’m wrong, maybe I am crazy, but that might not be a bad thing.  Besides, maybe you need a little crazy in your life,” She says, she looks at him hopefully as he hesitates, he sighs.

“One picnic by the lake,” He says, she smiles brightly.

“Yay!  You won’t regret this.  Meet me out there at lunch break?”  He nods, smiling slightly at her excitement, “I’ll bring the food.”  She skips off happily, he chuckles, shaking his head as she leaves and he changes direction, heading to the group’s claimed room to do his work instead of the common room or the library.

 

At lunch he heads out to the lake after debating the wisdom of this for three minutes and fifty-two seconds.  He sees Bellatrix sitting on a picnic blanket, though where she got it from he’s no idea, with a plate of sandwiches beside her, a large drink bottle, and two water goblets.  She looks up when she hears him approaching and smiles widely, he can’t help but smile back, more than he usually does too.

“I was worried you wouldn’t come,” She admits, he smiles.

“I did say I would,” He reminds her, she blushes and nods.

They spend an hour out there before Remus tells her they need to get to class.  In that hour they didn’t talk about school at all, and Remus was careful to avoid talk of family as well though he did hear a bit about Narcissa.  They spoke about interests, not finding much in common yet it was still interesting.  They had a lengthy philosophical debate about the morality of keeping the giant squid in the lake.  Remus was pleasantly surprised to find that she was right after all, she really wasn’t crazy, she just played it well.  He found himself genuinely smiling and laughing.  When they head back in, Bellatrix carrying the picnic blanket and Remus taking the empty plate, the drink bottle, and the two water goblets.  He juggles it into one hand as Bellatrix grabs the other, the two walk hand in hand to the kitchen where they return everything.  Apparently Bellatrix had gotten the blanket from a house-elf.  They separate to go to their lessons, Remus walking in two minutes late, a first for him in his entire life.

“Sorry Professor Binns, I got turned around,” He lies, the teacher merely motions for him to take his seat.  His friends look at him expectantly, he ignores them, paying extra careful attention to the entire lecture.

Next was flying, as they go outside his friends hound him.

“Where were you at lunch?” “Why were you late?  And don’t say you got turned around because that’s just impossible for you!” “Why do you look so happy?”

The best was when Marlene stopped him and stood right in front of him.

“Merlin, are you actually _smiling_?”

“I think you’ll find I’m Remus, not Merlin.”  Marlene smacks him upside the head, he just chuckles and keeps walking.

“What the hell is happening right now?” Lily asks as they make it outside, this lesson being with the Slytherins so she instantly waves Severus over, he joins them quickly.

“I hear you had a good lunch,” Severus says to Remus with a smirk, Remus sighs, “Don’t worry, she hasn’t told _everyone_.  Just her sister.”

“From what I hear, that’s just like telling everyone,” Remus replies, Severus laughs and nods.

“Oh come on, Snivellus can’t know if we don’t!” Sirius complains, Severus glares at him for the name.  There was an uneasy truce in the group for the moment, Remus didn’t think it would last long, but for now everyone was trying to keep Lily happy.

“I had a picnic,” He tells them.

“A Picnic?  With who?” James asks suspiciously, though Remus ignores him as he spots Bellatrix and smiles.

“Oh damn, that is a proper smile even,” Sirius says, following his line of sight and seeing Bellatrix grinning back and walking over, “Oh no, no, no, no, tell me you didn’t!” He begs, Remus just pats him on the shoulder making James laugh at Sirius’ face.

“Hi Remy,” Bellatrix says brightly as she sort of jumps up to him.  Remus grins, finding her crazy persona rather amusing now that he had seen the person underneath and knew it to be fake.

“Hey, no, no, I came up with that name, you can’t have it!”

“You can’t own a name, Cousin,” Bellatrix tells him, “Besides, I like it,” She says, smiling at Remus again.

“Oh boy,” James mutters, looking away as Lily and Marlene hide their snickers in their hands, Severus openly looking amused.

“I was thinking, we should walk around the grounds on Saturday,” Bellatrix suggests, still seeming overtly bubbly which makes Remus laugh genuinely, she smiles brighter at him.

“I’m doing something with them on Saturday,” Remus tells her, gesturing with his head to the relevant parties, “How about Sunday?”

“I’ll hold you to that.  I’m going to head back over there, I’ll see you soon,” She says happily, walking away with a blush dusting her cheeks as she releases Remus’ hand, the others not even having realised she’d grabbed it.

“Whaaaaat?” Sirius whines dramatically, “My cousin?!  Really?”  Remus grins at him, “Oh don’t say it.”

“Really,” He says, Sirius sighs of relief, “Siriusly even.”

“Oh that’s it, I’m gonna kill you!” Sirius says, lunging at Remus who steps to the side but reaches out to prevent Sirius from falling.  Their friends all laugh at Sirius nearly falling, but he ignores it in favour of turning back to Remus, “You can’t date my cousin!  She’s nuts!  And she’s a Slytherin!”

“Lily’s best friend is a Slytherin,” Remus calmly points out.

“Yes and I don’t like him either.” Severus huffs but both ignore it.

“Sirius, you’re over-reacting.”

“I am telling you, she’s _insane,_ ” He tells him, Remus smiles lightly, a truly pleased look on his face.

“I know she is,” He replies, looking completely at ease and happy.

“Awwwwww,” Marlene, Mary, Lily, and Alice, who had turned up at some point, all say.

“That was such a dopey look on your face it was adorable!” Severus says mockingly, Remus glares at him.

“Keep going Severus, see what happens.”

“Suddenly he gets a backbone,” Mary comments amused.

“I don’t like how this relationship is changing you Remy,” Sirius tells him, “And now you need a new nickname,” He complains with a shudder, Remus rolls his eyes, though the rather dopey smile has returned to his face.

“That’s going to get old real quick,” James says.

“Black complaining, or Lupin being sappy?” Severus asks.

“Yes,” James replies.  “Okay, well if this is happening, I suppose we should be making an effort to get along with our resident Slytherins,” He says, Severus raises an eyebrow at him.  “Yes, that includes you, _Severus_.”  Lily smiles and claps, jumping happily.

“So not only do I now have to hear about my insane cousin from the guy she has obviously bewitched, but now I have to get along with Snivellus?!” Sirius complains, Severus rolls his eyes, at this point though they both knew it was a protest made for the point of protest rather than actually not wanting to do it, “I swear to god Remus, I would make-out with Snivellus before I would be okay with this!” Sirius tells him, Remus looks at him with a smirk.

“Hey Severus, guess you’re about to get lucky.” Sirius sighs.

“Nothing I can do to change your mind?” Remus shakes his head, Sirius’ head droops dramatically as the teacher finally arrives.

 

Later as they head to dinner, Bellatrix finds them and asks to speak to Remus for a moment.

“I’ll meet you guys there,” Remus tells them.

“This is the second time you’ve ditched us for you girlfriend, I’m counting!” James calls out as they go.

“What’s up?” He asks her, she brings a hand to her mouth and bites on the end of her thumb for a moment.

“I wanted to warn you, I think Cissy may have sent an owl to my parents about this so I will probably get a howler in the morning and, I just don’t want you to panic.”

“Your parents will really care that much?” He asks her, she shuffles on her feet, the crazy persona firmly dropped.

“I don’t mean this cruelly, but you’re a half-blood, of course they care that much.”

“Do _you_ care?” She shakes her head firmly.

“Not at all, I know my family has a long history of that but…”

“I’m not asking because of your family, I’m asking because you were part of the group that was mocking Lily for being muggle-born to begin with.”  She looks to the ground.

“I don’t necessarily have a problem with…her kind…it’s just that I was raised to believe people like that were less than I am.  So when they started saying that I just went along with it.  Then I watched you, a half-blood, take on a bunch of us and make them all back down with a _look_.  Clearly a lack of blood purity didn’t stop you from being a strong wizard, so I doubt it does her either.”

“You realise this is only going to get worse with your family, possibly the other Slytherins as well.”

“I know, but I really like you.  I like talking to you and spending time with you, you’re the first time in a long time to even bother.  I realise it’s my own fault for acting like I do, but honestly at home being like that is just easier.  They don’t pay much attention to me or put any stock in what I say, so me doing this is going to be less of a problem than Drom or Cissy doing it.  Besides, all the Slytherins are too afraid of you right now to give me a hard time,” She says with a smile, he smiles back, throwing an arm around her as they start walking to the great hall again.

“You know, I really like spending time with you too.”  She smiles happily at him, “And you are definitely worth talking to.  So I’m glad you convinced me, and that I _did_ bother to do so.”

“I’m glad too,” She says, they are holding hands again as they enter the great hall but separate to go to their respective tables.

“Please tell me you did not spend that entire time snogging,” Sirius requests looking as though he isn’t sure he wants to know the answer.

“Sirius, I’m _eleven_.  So is she.  No, we were not just off snogging in the hallway.”

“Well, this has certainly thrown us all through a loop but, I’m happy for you,” Lily tells him, he smiles gratefully.

“Oh no dear Lily, this is not a loop, this is a full-fledged loopdy-doop!”

“And you think _she_ _’_ _s_ the insane one.” Remus says dryly, Sirius glares at him.

 

**Chapter notes:**

So I just want to explain something, I know in the movies and books all of Harry’s year have their classes together.  In this story, for this generation, they are separated into two houses per class, eg. Slytherin & Gryffindor might have potions together while Hufflepuff & Ravenclaw have History of Magic, or Slytherin & Hufflepuff might have Herbology while Ravenclaw & Gryffindor have DADA.  Still segregated into year levels obviously, but just because we know that Harry’s year has a ridiculously low amount of students for how many is in the school.  I attribute this to their parents being of the generation who fought in the war and not wanting to have children brought into that world or died before they had the chance and such things.  By that logic, other years will have more students than Harry’s, that’s why the others are separated like this, too many students, but Harry’s has too few to be done like this so they have their classes together.


	6. Here We Are At Last

Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

They’ve made it through the second lot of holidays, and immediately try to find each other on the platform.  It’s the day before the full moon so Remus isn’t feeling great, especially since it’s rising during the day tomorrow so there is less time than there would’ve been.

“Remy!” Sirius calls out when he sees him, Remus smiles slightly as Sirius runs over, followed closely by Regulus.

“Sirius, Reg,” Remus greets happily but tiredly.

“Hi Hope, Hi Mr Lupin,” Regulus says happily.

“Hello Reg, how’s school going?”

“I’m doing much better in Maths now, Mother even seemed satisfied when she read my report,”  He tells her happily, Remus looks at Sirius in confusion.

“They’ve been writing to each other since Christmas.”  Remus is about to comment when they hear a vaguely familiar voice.

“…and now he won’t stop talking about you, why do you always have to do this?!”

“Petunia, that’s enough, leave your sister alone.”  They turn to see the Evans’, Lily spots them and drags her family over, with them is the Pettigrews.

“Hey guys, look who we ran into,” She says gesturing to Peter and his family.  Soon after the Potter’s appear as well, they look at their son in concern when they notice Remus looking rather ill.

“It’s the day before he usually disappears for a night.  He’s always like this the day before,” He whispers quietly to them, the two exchange worried looks.  They hadn’t forgotten how the boys seemed near Christmas when Remus stopped writing for two days.

“Remy!” They hear again, only this voice instantly has a huge smile on Remus’ face as he turns around, looking for the source.  A great heap of black hair bounds over, throwing itself at him, he hugs her back happily despite the ache in his bones and tiredness weighing him down.

“Hey, I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”  Sirius pretends to make gagging sounds, Lily hits him.  Severus follows behind the mound of black hair at a much more sedate pace.

“Ah, there you all are.  I thought I heard a hyperactive puppy yelling and deafening us all.”

“Oh shut it Sev.”

“Mum, Dad, this is Bellatrix Black.”

“His _girlfriend_ ,” James tells them, Lily hits him too.

“Thank you, Lily.”

“It’s nice to meet you both, Remy’s told me a lot about you,” Bellatrix tells the both of them with a slightly calmer demeanour than her usual but by no means normal.

“Oh trust us dear, we’ve heard a _lot_ about you too,” Hope tells her with a pointed look to her son, Bellatrix blushes.

“And with that, we should probably get on the train, right guys?” Remus asks the others desperately, more strength in his voice than there previously had been as though the appearance of Bellatrix had strengthened him somehow.

“We have time,” Lily replies, Remus glares.

“I thought you were on my side!”

“Well you won’t make that mistake again, will you?” Remus glares at her again.

“Be nice Remy,” Bellatrix tells him lightly, he sighs but stops glaring, Lily and Bellatrix share a grin.  Everyone may still think her insane, but at least they were getting used to her presence.

“Hang on, you’re in a relationship with our cousin?” Regulus asks confused, Remus blushes at his parents looks.

“Um, yes.”

“Do Aunt Druella and Uncle Cygnus know about this?”

“Yes,” Bellatrix responds.

“Reg, you remember when Mother was telling me how all of those girls were letting down the Black family name and it was because of my influence?”

“Yes, it was kind of hard to miss.”

“That’s what she was talking about.”

“Ohhhh.”

“Has anyone seen Mary yet?” Severus asks suddenly.

“Mary, huh?” Sirius asks, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“So I can give her the work she sent me to proof read, not everyone feels the need to latch onto someone,” Severus replies, Sirius glares back.

“I am not latched!  He’s latched, I am not,” Sirius shoots back, pointing to Remus who stands holding Bellatrix’s hand, “Besides you are 100% latched, just not to Mary.”

“You have a crush on someone Sev?!” Lily asks, “How have you not told me about this?” She demands, Severus glares at Sirius whose eyes widen as he realises what he’s done.  Everyone awkwardly exchanges looks as the adults around the place look amused.  Bellatrix giggles, Lily shoots her a look before turning back to Severus.

“I do not, he’s just trying to mess with me again,” Severus tells her, she narrows her eyes at him.

“Okay, let’s not fight, Sirius, leave him alone, Sniv, leave Sirius alone, Lily, leave the subject alone, and Bella, stop making things worse,” James tells them all, they all simultaneously roll their eyes but do stop, except Bellatrix who just sing songs,

“No promises Jamsie.” James groans.

“You have _got_ to stop that, I’m serious.”

“No, he’s Sirius,” Bellatrix says, pointing to the boy in question who smirks.

“Remy, will you control your girlfriend!”

“Hey she’s a human being Potter, he doesn’t control her!” Lily tells him sternly.

“And I would never dream of trying to,” Remus adds quietly though everyone hears it, Bellatrix smiles and leans her head on his shoulder.

“This is madness!” James complains.

“Hey I told him not to date my cousin, did he listen?  No, no he did not.”

“You really have to let that go, Siriusly,” Remus tells him, he lunges at him, Lily and Peter hold him back.

“Let me at him!”  Bellatrix just giggle like a maniac, Regulus laughing at his older brother too.

“Regulus!” They hear a voice call, the three children of the Black family instantly straightening themselves up, much to the worry of the others, “There you are.”

“Auntie Walburga!”  Bellatrix calls with an absurd amount of glee before giggling like she’s crazed, “If I’d known you were coming I’d have brought the horse!”

“Why?” Walburga asks her, “Oh what am I doing asking for sense from you girl.”  Bellatrix giggles again.

“Aww, you’re my girl too!”

“Regulus, we’re leaving,” She says, grabbing her son’s hand and tugging him along.

“Bye Everybody, Bye Sirius.”  Everyone calls out bye and waves as the boy trudges along, pulled by his Mother’s grip.

“You aren’t really crazy, are you?” Petunia asks after everyone had been quiet for a moment, Bellatrix winks at her.

“Wait, seriously?”  Sirius asks, Remus lets out a loud whoop, high-fiving James happily as James just shouts,

“YES!” as soon as he hears the wording.

“Petunia Evans, you are a goddess.” Petunia blushes slightly at Remus’ words.  Lyall and Hope are very confused by their Son’s suddenly loud and boisterous attitude, but they rather like the change.

“I hate you all,” Sirius grumbles.

“But Cousin, we’re family!” Bellatrix complains looking down-trodden, Sirius rolls his eyes at her.

“Now I don’t even know if your crazy or not and now I sound bloody crazy!”

“Reason for that,” Remus tells him, he and Bellatrix high-fiving without even looking at each other.

“They’re ganging up on me again!” Sirius says turning to James for support, he finds his best friend doubled over with laughter and leaning on Peter for support. “I hate you all.”

“Oh, Remus, I just remembered, no more detention,” Peter comments, Remus’ eyes light up.

“I’d forgotten too, FREEDOM IS MINE!” Remus yells, all the parents around are confused, this is nothing like the quiet boy they had previously met nor the ill looking child they had just been observing mere minutes before, they think it must have a lot to do with the curly haired girl beside him.

“Why did you have detention for long enough to cause this?” Mrs Evans asks him, he scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Um, I…so there was this Slytherin boy who was haranguing a muggle-born, and I sort of…lost my temper,” He replies awkwardly figuring if Lily didn’t want to tell her parents, it wasn’t his place too.

“People do that?” Mr Evans asks looking at his daughter with worry.

“Don’t worry Mr Evans, your daughter is too well protected now to be bothered by anyone,” Bellatrix tells him who looks questioningly in her direction, “Well between Severus and I running interference from within Slytherin House, and most of the house still being afraid of Remy whom she openly associates with, no one would dare.  It’d be way more trouble than it’s worth.” Lily looks at her with surprise.

“You’ve been doing that for me?” She nods.

“And for Mary.”

“And they listen?”  Bellatrix very suddenly seems rather serious and calm.

“It’s never a good idea to upset or annoy a crazy girl with a scary boyfriend who is part of a group that pranks people constantly and effortlessly.  Like I said, more trouble than it’s worth.”  Lily rushes forwards and hugs the girl tightly.

“Okay, I don’t understand, why act so crazy then?  Especially when your Aunt came over,” Peter asks sounding confused.

“Usually it’s to keep the attention off me, I just sort of fade into the background for most people unless I make a scene about something.  This time it was to focus her attention on me.”

“Why did you want that?” Sirius asks as though it’s the most insane thing ever.

“So that she wouldn’t notice the four muggles standing with us,” Remus tells his friend who seems like he’s rethinking his entire life.

“So…not crazy?” Sirius asks, pointing to Bellatrix.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” She says with a giggle.

“I’m so confused.”

“Good.”

“Okay, _now_ we should get on the train.”  Lily tells them, they all say farewell to their parents and such before they head onto the train.

“She’s nuts,” Lyall says to his wife who nods.

“I think, perhaps, that might not be such a bad thing.”

 

On the train Severus and Bellatrix head off to the Slytherins, Lily running off to find Mary, Marlene, and Alice, taking the work from Severus to give to Mary.  The remaining four head to the back of the train and into the cabin they have claimed as theirs.

“How are you feeling?” James asks as they shut the compartment door, Remus happily taking a seat and leaning back on it.

“Better than usual, though I’m leaving early tomorrow.”  He hasn’t told them, he doesn’t plan to either, everyone had just accepted he was sick in someway and that was all they would be told.  For now at least. 

_“_ _Does anyone else have anything to say?_ _”_ _He glances at the Slytherins surrounding him, ignoring the torn up body on the ground and the taste of blood in his mouth.  They all turn to run, and he feels it, the transformation, he grins, the hunt was beginning.  The wolf turns to Bellatrix, she is no longer laughing, tears fill her eyes as she freezes in fright._

_“_ _Remy, please, it_ _’_ _s me_ _…”_ _He attacks,_ _“_ _REMY NO, PLEASE THIS ISN_ _’_ _T YOU!_ _”_ _She screams as he tears into her body with glee,_ _“_ _WAKE UP REMY, WAKE UP!_ _”_ Remus opens his eyes and sees Sirius knelt in front of him, shaking his shoulder lightly.

“Remy, breathe.” Remus takes a big gulp of air, “That’s it.  Breathing is good, breathing makes everything better.”  Remus’ eyes fill with tears.

“No, it doesn’t,” He whispers to the worry of his friends.

“We’re pulling in to the station now, you ready?” Remus tries to calm down, wiping away the few stray tears that had managed to escape his eyes, he nods slightly, the movement aching horribly, “Right, let’s go then,” Peter grabs their animal cages while James and Sirius take a side of Remus each, stabilising him as they slowly walk to the exit of the train.

“Remy, why is it worse than usual?” James asks, Remus looks to him briefly before he looks at the ground ashamed, he takes one of his arms from his friends, wiping away more tears before leaning on them both again, “Is it why you’re leaving early tomorrow?”  Remus nods slightly, James doesn’t question further, helping Remus onto one of the self-drawn carriages that Lily and Marlene were already on.

“No Mary or Alice?” Sirius asks, Lily shakes her head.

“Mary went with Sev to go through her work, Alice decided to join her in case the Slytherins went on about anything too much, Bella’s with them too.”

“You all right Remy?” Marlene asks, he doesn’t answer, Sirius looks at the boy sitting between he and James and sees he’s fallen asleep again.

“He’s not having a good day, didn’t sleep well last night I guess,” Sirius lies, he’s no doubt they’ve caught on to things as much as James, Peter, and he have, but still he tries to protect Remus’ privacy.  The girls seem to accept his words thought they seem worried.  Peter gets on the carriage beside the girls, then it starts moving.

Part the way through the ride Remus starts twitching in his sleep, Sirius immediately rubbing soothing circles into his back to calm him down.

“He has nightmares?” Lily asks concerned, the boys exchange looks, Sirius shrugs and Peter nods so James speaks.

“We think maybe he has since we met him, often at least.  We find him asleep by the window a lot in the morning even if he went to sleep in his bed.  Since the incident with Sniv last term though it’s been a lot more obvious,” He tells them, they look concerned.

“I mean, Bella’s made him more confident and open, but he’s still a very mild-mannered person.  Maybe he really does feel _that_ guilty about it.”

“I’m not sure that’s it,” Sirius tells them, he looks up as Remus settles again and sees them looking at him questioningly, “In first term Snivellus told him that because we’re purebloods we’ll ditch Remus sooner or later.  Or something to that effect.  Remus told us it wasn’t that that bothered him because he knew that wasn’t true, but it reminded him of something else.”

“You think the incident did too?” Sirius shrugs.

“They have corresponding elements and I can’t think of any other circumstance of him being continually bothered by anything.”

“Besides having to clean the entire dorm because he hates mess and we never clean up after ourselves?” Peter asks, Sirius nods.

“I doubt he’s having nightmares about that though.”

“I don’t know, some people get really hung up on that kind of thing,” Marlene tells them, “Clearly you should all keep the dorm clean and see if that helps.” Sirius rolls his eyes as the carriage comes to a stop. 

“Remy?” James asks, shaking him a little bit, the boy wakes up blearily, “Time to walk inside.  We’re going to take you straight to the dorm okay?”

“Yeah,” Remus whispers when his head hurts too much to move.  Sleeping on the train and against James’ shoulder probably had as much to do with that as his upcoming transformation.

They slowly make their way up to their room, depositing Remus on his bed just as the girls walk in (Completely ignoring the no girls in the boy’s dormitory rule) with a bunch of food.

“We didn’t want you to starve,” Lily explains, Alice and Mary having joined she and Marlene and some point.  Remus slides to the floor to the side of his bed, everyone taking their que and joining him, the food in the middle.

“How were holidays?” Peter asks quietly, Marlene takes the hint and rolls with it, speaking quietly as everyone eats, or Remus just sort of nibbles.

“Good, I spent a night at Lily’s place, Petunia is interesting.” Lily sighs.

“I’m sorry about that.” Marlene waves her off.

“It’s fine, we can’t all have siblings as adorably sweet as Sirius’.”

“Oh I see, you’re all just using me for my brother.”

“Obviously,” Alice tells him, they all giggle quietly.  An hour later Remus speaks up for the first time.

“People are coming, you should probably go back to the common room,” He tells the girls who stand up and grab the empty plates, trusting Remus’ sense of time.

“We’ll see you later.”  As soon as they leave Sirius turns to Remus.

“Why do you think that?  Your usual affinity for counting is rubbish on days like today, I doubt you have anymore idea of what time it is than the rest of us.”  Remus just smiles slightly but says nothing.  A few minutes later they hear their house returning.

“How?!” Sirius asks Remus in a desperate whisper, Remus chuckles, or tries, he just ends up wincing, “All right, let’s get you to bed.  What time do you have to leave tomorrow?”

“Seven.”

“In the morning?” Peter asks in surprise, Remus nods slightly, “We’ll make sure to wake you in time.” Remus smiles gratefully as his friends help him onto his bed.

 

At dinner the next night, McGonagall collects the friends, they seem surprised.

“He’s back.”  They immediately stand to follow her.

“Let us know how he is Potter,” Lily requests, James nods to her.

They find Remus in worse condition than usual, Sirius taking a seat and grabbing his hand lightly, James and Peter sitting on the other side of him.

“How long are those gashes going to take to heal?” James asks Madam Pomfrey as he gestures to the large, and by the looks of things deep, cuts on the boy’s chest.  He knows better than to ask how it happened, she won’t tell. She looks conflicted about how much to reveal.

“I’m going to give him some ointment when he leaves tomorrow, make sure he applies it that night and it should be healed up by the morning.  Though it will almost definitely scar,” She adds sadly, they’ve no doubt she’s tried her hardest to prevent that.

“Merlin knows he has enough of those already,” Sirius mutters, not looking away from his friend in the bed.

 

A few hours later McGonagall returns to collect them and take them back to Gryffindor Tower.

“You said he would be released tomorrow morning, right?” Sirius asks the Matron who nods, “In time for class?”

“Yes, but he’ll be instructed to be careful and take it easy, absolutely no PE and he may very well miss Herbology.”

“We don’t have Herbology tomorrow anyway,” James says, she seems relieved.

“If he has to go to class but has to take it easy, it’d be a good idea to have someone here to help him with doors and stairs and stuff when he leaves.  So, would it be okay if I stayed here tonight?  I promise I’ll stay out of your way,” Sirius requests, Poppy and Minerva exchange looks for a long moment before Poppy nods.

“All right, but only you.”

“We’ll bring both of your things to Transfig tomorrow morning for you.”

“Thanks James.”

 

Remus wakes up to see Sirius asleep on a chair beside his bed, holding his hand, early morning sunlight streaming in through a window, and pain.  He looks down at his chest and sees it bandaged, blood seeping through slightly.

“We’ll have to change that before you go,” Madam Pomfrey tells him when she walks over, the sudden noise waking Sirius.  “Would you like Mr Black to wait outside?”  Remus looks at him as Sirius raises his eyebrows in a clear indication of it being Remus’ choice.

“He can stay,” He eventually decides, Poppy nods.

“Right, in that case, if you’ll make yourself useful and help sit him up?” Sirius moves forward and does so, the Matron working quickly to take the bandage off, Sirius’ eyes widen at the wound.  Clearly the gashes had been very deep, but they’d healed a lot overnight.  Remus squeezes his hand, looking at him reassuringly.  Poppy slathers some more ointment onto the injury, Remus wincing through it, “Right, reapply this tonight before you go to bed, I’d suggest having Mr Black assist you but that’s up to you.  Try not to hurt yourself any further, take it easy today,” She instructs as she puts the bandage on, “Right then.  How do you feel?”

“Ready to leave.” He replies looking hopeful, she huffs.

“Lucky for you, Mr Black stayed to escort you to class, I believe Mr Potter and Mr Pettigrew are bringing your things to class for you both.” Remus smiles lightly,  “All right, off with you.”

“Thank you Madam Pomfrey,” Remus tells her before he moves off the bed and dresses himself.  He and Sirius move towards the door which Sirius opens for him when they reach it, “Thanks.”

“I hope you don’t plan to say that to every door.”

“Every stair too.”

“Oh Merlin, this is going to be a long day.”  The boys laugh as they go, Poppy smiles.

“You’re welcome.”

 

All his friends are glad he’s back and up and about, he’s out of it a bit, but he’s okay.

That night at dinner, the Gryffindors chat away happily, Remus content to mostly sit and listen.

“…and that’s when the paint fell on his head.  Dad has now banned me from helping to paint any rooms…or anything,” Mary tells them, all of them laughing, Remus smiling a bit.

“So, Reg asked me something,” Sirius says as he looks away from the letter he’d received at breakfast, apparently the owl gave it to James to finish delivering, “I’ve no idea why he’s even thinking about this, but I honestly have no idea what to say.”

“What did he ask?” James asks him, Sirius frowns in thought as he reads it, the whole group waiting for the question.

“What would happen if you put a werewolf on the moon?” They hear a bang and a crash, looking to see Remus’ knife stabbed far into the table, his plate in pieces on the floor just as he tries to get up to fix it he knocks over a goblet which spills over Lily who tries to jump out of the way and knocks the table, pushing more things over, then tripping backwards and falling into a Slytherin who had been holding a plate pork that went flying through the air, through a ghost, and smashing into the wall, loudly falling to the ground.  The hall is silent as everyone turns to Remus.

“Oops,” He says awkwardly as house elves appear to clean up the mess, he just sinks back into his seat and buries his face in his hands.

“How can someone be _that_ much of a mess?” Sirius asks as a distraction from the fact that everything had just clicked in his mind, he looks to James who’s had the same realisation, Peter looking between them confused, they give Remus a significant look, then it clicks for him too and his eyes widen.

“Me?  Have you seen the state of our dormitory?!” Remus complains.

“Yes, it’s perfectly clean,” Sirius replies, Remus looks up to glare at him.

“Yes, because _I_ clean up _your_ mess.” Meanwhile James looks around the table, but luckily none of the others caught on to what really just happened.  Remus tries to pull the knife out of the table but winces and rubs at his chest.

“Don’t rub at it, and for god’s sake Madam Pomfrey said take it easy not yank a knife out of the table it’s stuck in you idiot,” Sirius says as he pushes Remus’ hand away and tries to pull the knife out himself, of course he pulls it out too fast and hits himself in the face with the hilt.  He falls straight backwards from the force, knocking the Hufflepuff walking behind him into the table behind her and sending more things flying as he collapses to the floor.

“Sirius!” Remus calls worriedly as the Hall’s attention is once again on them, Sirius groans.

“I’m okay!” He calls out, Remus huffs at him.

“And you think _I_ _’_ _m_ a mess.”

“Yes, yes I do.” Sirius gets up slowly, blinking a bit, “Yeah, I’m okay,” He says, Remus sits him down facing out from the table as Madam Pomfrey makes her way down from the staff table.  She looks him over.

“Mild concussion, drink this,” She commands as she pushes a vial from her pocket into his hand, he drinks it without question.  A minute ten later she nods, satisfied.  She returns to her seat as Sirius turns back to the table and hands Remus his knife.

“Maybe we should just take that away from both of you,” Lily suggests as she reaches across the table to take it.

“I’m not really hungry anymore anyway,” Remus says, still flushed with embarrassment.

 

After dinner, Peter, James, and Sirius drop back from the others a bit, Sirius quickly turning to the others as they keep walking, voice low enough that others won’t hear.

“How are you guys feeling about…our suspicion?” Peter looks twitchy.

“I mean, it’s still _him_ isn’t it?” James and Sirius nod.

“Yeah, this doesn’t change anything, now we just know what’s going on, right?” The other two nod, “Do we tell him?”

“He might not react well to that, he’s clearly wanting to hide it.”

“Yeah but that’s probably because he’s afraid how we’ll react,” James points out, Peter nods.

“He has a right to know that we know.”

“So we ask him about it?” James asks, Sirius nods, so does Peter, so does he.

The three try and act natural as they hang out in the common room, luckily it isn’t long before Marlene suggests Remus should get some rest.

“She’s right, come on grumpy,” James says as he and Sirius help the boy up.

“I’m fine guys,” He protests though he walks with them up to the dorm room, Peter shuts the door behind him.  Remus goes and starts making the bed he’d ignored the morning before, he turns back when he notices the other three still at the door, “Something wrong?”

“Um, okay, Remy, don’t freak out,” Sirius starts, Remus looks at them suspiciously.

“That really isn’t a great way to start a conversation.”

“Well, um, it’s time for our latest guess!” James says jovially, Remus snorts.

“So long as it’s not more aliens.”  He notices their expressions pensive and frowns again.

“Um, okay, Remus, first we want you to know, that even if we are right this time, it doesn’t change anything for us.”  They see a faint sense of panic start to fill Remus’ eyes though his face doesn’t change.

“Are you a Werewolf?” James asks bluntly, Remus literally takes a step back, freezing up, mouth opening and closing, terror clear on his face, “Hey, okay, no, no, don’t panic, everything’s fine, it’s okay.  We won’t tell anyone, we promise, right boys?”

“Yeah.”

“Of course not.”

“I-I…” Remus stutters, breathing heavily and wincing when it pulls on the cuts on his chest.

“Remy, you need to calm down and breathe, honestly nothing has to change,” Sirius tells the boy as he takes a step towards him, Remus quickly backing up.

“NOTHING HAS TO CHANGE?!” Remus yells, quickly dropping his volume as tears rapidly fill his eyes, “Oh god, you know.”

“Yeah, we do, but we don’t care.”

“How can you not care? I-I’m a monster,” He says, dropping to his knees.  His three friends surrounding him quickly and putting their arms around him.

“No, you aren’t.  You are our friend.  This doesn’t change that, it just means we know more about you,” James tells him, he blinks up at him through the tears.

“Why aren’t you afraid?” Sirius snorts.

“Remy, you fold your socks, you line your quills up at the end of your desk, and you’re the biggest fucking nerd I’ve ever met, I’m pretty sure we’ve been through all this before.  Nothing could ever make me afraid of you.” A hopeful look crosses over his face.

“Just think, you don’t have to hide it from us anymore,” Peter tells him, Remus swallows thickly.

“You guys are serious?” He asks, Sirius smirks.

“Nope, that’s just me.  However, we all mean what we’re saying.” Remus chuckles a little bit, tears streaming down his face again.  They hold him as he cries.  Eventually he calms down again and they all back off a little bit to sit in a circle on the ground.

“So…” Peter says awkwardly, Remus biting his lip and pulling at his sleeves.

“Still cute when you do that,” Sirius tells him, Remus blushes.

“You realise you’re flirting with your cousin’s boyfriend, right?” James tells him, Sirius shudders, “Does Bella know?”

“No, and you, you can’t…”

“We won’t tell her, don’t worry,” Sirius promises, the other two nodding, Remus calms down again, “However, can we take a moment to appreciate something?”

“What?” Remus asks, not sure what Sirius could possibly be appreciative of right now, though Remus is so very appreciative of his friends.  He’s still afraid they’ll change their minds and tell everyone or just leave him, but for now he just tries to focus on the relief he feels at not lying anymore.

“Your name.” Everyone looks confused at Sirius’ words, “It means Werewolf Mcwerewolf.  Then, as it turns out, Lyall is derived from the old Norse word for wolf.”  Everyone laughs, or Remus just chuckles a bit, still feeling intensely uncomfortable, then something occurs to him and he laughs a bit harder.

“My Mother’s maiden name,” he says, the others look curious, “It’s Howell.”

“All hail Remus Lupin, the universe’s greatest coincidence!” James says, they all laugh at bit more.

“Remy…” Peter trails off, Remus starts biting his lip nervously again.

“Yeah Pete?”

“D-Did you…um…” Peter takes a deep breath, “Did you do that to yourself?” He asks, pointing at Remus’ chest.  Stupidly he follows the boy’s hand before he realises what he means, he looks up again and sees James and Sirius looking curious, he nods slightly.

“There’s…this shack.  You know the one on the hill?”

“The Shrieking shack?” Sirius asks, Remus nods.

“It’s not haunted.  The howling and…other noises, that are heard…they’re me, not ghosts,” He says, hesitating on words nervously, “When it happens I uh, I don’t really like being kept in there so I…I lash out at the only thing around.”

“Yourself,” James realises quietly, Remus nods looking ashamed again, James leans forward and hugs the boy again, “If there is ever _anything_ we can do to help, anything _I_ can do to help, tell me. Tell us.”  He pulls back and sees tears filling Remus’ eyes again as he nods.

“Thank you,” He says breathlessly, full of disbelief.  Suddenly Sirius starts giggling a little, though he’s clearly trying not to.

“Mate…not the time,” James tells him disapprovingly.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He says, still giggling, Remus rolls his eyes.

“What is it?”

“I’m just imagining what my Aunt and Uncle would say if they knew their daughter was dating a Werewolf.  I mean I 100% will never tell them, it’s just a funny conversation to imagine.”

“They’d kill her, Sirius!  That’s not funny!” Remus tells him sternly, Sirius laughs harder.

“It is for me,” He says, “She’s my cousin, I’m allowed to laugh at her misery, that’s what family is for,” He says, still laughing a bit.

“I’m going to tell her you said that last bit, she’ll cry and you know it,” James tells him, Sirius rolls his eyes.

“Yeah but now I know it’s fake.  I still can’t believe she’s been putting that on.”

“Not entirely, she’s still nuts, just a more controlled nuts than you’re used to.  Like she told me once, she just likes having fun,” Remus tells them, and all of a sudden, everything is just as it had always been.

 

In the morning at breakfast, a package is dropped in front of Remus who doesn’t seem surprised.

“Who’s that from?” James asks.

“My parents,” He replies as he places it with his things for class, “It’s just a heap of chocolate.”

“Why are your parents sending you a heap of chocolate?” Peter asks, Remus hesitates for a moment before smiling just a little.

“I’ll tell you later.”

 

“So, the chocolate?” James ask as they walk to Gryffindors tower to put the package away before class.

“My parents get me chocolate after um…if it’s been a difficult…”

“Full moon?” Peter asks, Remus flinches slightly but nods.

“Is this when your chocolate addiction started or is that why they give you chocolate?” Sirius asks curiously, Remus laughs slightly.

“I don’t remember, honestly.”  They reach the tower and head up to the Dorm, Remus opening the package and grabbing four chocolate bars out, “Chocolate?”  They all accept, leaving the room and beginning the walk to the greenhouses.

“Remy, how old were you when you were bitten?” Remus’ eyes dart to Sirius before dropping back to his feet as he takes a rather large bite of chocolate, “You don’t have to tell me…” He says awkwardly back tracking.

“Four,” He says when he swallows, the other boys’ eyes all widen.

“You’ve been a werewolf since you were four?!” James asks in a harsh whisper, Remus looking wildly around to make sure no one heard.

“I was nearly five.”

“Who else knows?”

“Just you guys, my parents, my…um anyway, Dumbledore, and Professor McGonagall.  Oh, and Madam Pomfrey.”

“Can we tell Professor McGonagall we know?  Just in case something goes wrong so that she can tell us?” James asks curiously, Remus bites his lip.

“I wouldn’t mind that, it’s just that it might get back to my parents and they would freak the freak out.”

“Freak the freak out?”

“Shut up Potter, I’m being serious!”

“Well it’s the worst impression of me I’ve ever seen.” Remus smacks Sirius over the head with the rest of his chocolate bar before he continues eating it.

“Ow,” Sirius complains, “Worth it,” He says with a smile, “Oh, by the way, apparently Hope’s been asking Reg about Bella.” Remus groans.

“Of course she has.”

 

During break that day, they sit outside by the lake with the whole group.

“Thought we might find you guys here,” Bellatrix says as she and Severus join them.

“Is that because we told you to meet us here?” Alice asks, Bellatrix shrugs as she sits next to Remus.

“One would expect so, yes.”

“Okay then, how was class?”

“Interesting, I transfigured a book into a toad,” Bellatrix says excitedly.

“I thought you had charms?” James asks confused.

“We did, she got bored,” Severus replies, everybody seems to sigh while Remus just grins at her earning a grin back. “You know, you encouraging this isn’t helping any.”

“It’s helping my levels of boredom,” Remus replies, Bellatrix laughs.

“So, that question about the moon has been haunting me, does anyone have an answer?” Mary asks, Remus focuses on remaining calm, keeping a normal breathing rate, not being weird, things he hasn’t focused on since first term, while the boys all sort of freeze for a moment before James speaks.

“I mean, I’d assume they’d be stuck in their wolf form?”

“What moon question?” Severus asks.

“What happens if you put a werewolf on the moon?” Lily tells him, he contemplates this.

“It depends on whether the whole transformation is based on the lunar cycle or just the full moon being visible to them,” Severus says.

“I don’t think they have to see the moon to transform, I think it happens whenever there’s a full moon,” Marlene tells them.

“How can we know if it’s the cycle or the moon itself?” Lily asks Severus who shrugs.

“We’d need to know a Werewolf to ask how they feel when they see the moon, full or not.”

“How could that answer help?” Sirius asks, watching his words carefully.

“Well, if it affects them in any kind of way all the time, but only transforms them on a full moon, then it’s probably got nothing to do with the lunar cycle and it’s just because the moon has that affect on them but it’s less and less as the moons visible size decreases.  If they feel nothing, then it’s probably not the moon itself but some other variable the lunar cycle causes.”

“If only we knew a Werewolf,” Bellatrix says, “I’ve always wanted to meet a Werewolf.”

“Why?  Do you _want_ to get eaten?” Alice asks her, she sighs.

“Well obviously I don’t mean while in wolf form, but when they’re a person, to find out what it’s like.”

“Given the stigma surrounding all non-human creatures, I imagine it probably sucks,” Lily tells them.

“Yes, but, at the same time, you’d get to be a Werewolf,” Mary adds, the boys all turn to her confused, “I think Werewolves are cool, okay?  Imagine being able to run like that and just be wild and free.”

“I think you’re conveniently forgetting the part where they have no control over themselves.  Besides, does anyone know if they even remember things after reverting back to human form?” Severus asks.

“You’re a total nerd about everything and read a lot, any idea Remy?” Marlene asks, Remus looks up.

“They remember, though sometimes not well,” He says quietly.

“There, see, they remember.” Mary says, Severus rolls his eyes as Lily replies.

“I think that’s the worse of the two options Mary, imagine remembering being a mindless beast and having no control.  Imagine if the wolf attacked someone they care about and obviously they couldn’t stop it but then they have to remember that as though they had done it when it wasn’t even their fault,” Lily tells her, she bites her lip.  Sirius, James, and Peter all try to subtly glance at Remus but he won’t meet their eye.

“Okay, so if it’s the lunar cycle, would putting them on the moon have no effect on them?” Alice asks curiously.

“Well we can’t know for sure, but if it’s not the moon, just something else to do with the lunar cycle, it’s probably something on Earth.  So putting them on the moon could very well stop them transforming at all,” Severus replies.

“Of course, they’d explode because there’s no oxygen,” Bellatrix adds, Marlene looks at her like she’s crazy.

“We never said we were sending them up without a space suit!”

“If he’s wrong then they’d break the suit when they transform anyway.” Remus sighs at his girlfriend who grins at him and starts messing with his hair, completely distracted from the conversation.

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best,” James says, seeing her no longer paying attention.

“What would happen if it _is_ the moon?” Sirius asks curiously, Severus sighs.

“You all realise I’m only guessing here, right?”

“They’re logical assumptions so without further evidence we are choosing to embrace them as fact, now answer the question,” Lily tells him, he rolls his eyes.

“They’d transform permanently, and likely be far stronger, more wolf-like, and possibly more aggressive than they otherwise would be.”

“Poor people would be stuck as wolves,” Alice says quietly, Remus biting the inside of his cheek to keep from correcting their misconception for the third time because dammit _We don_ _’_ _t become actual wolves!  Read a damn book!_

“It’s not like we could get someone to the moon anyway,” James reminds them, Remus laughs, Severus snickers, Mary and Lily just look extremely confused.

“Of course we could,” Mary says, “Not us specifically but…why are you two laughing?”

“The wizarding world doesn’t know about NASA,” Remus tells them when he calms down a bit.

“Ohhh, jeez and your kind think we’re uncivilised,” Lily comments.

“Evans, you’re a witch not a muggle,” James reminds her, she waves him off.

“Close enough in this case.”

“Hang on, what do you mean uncivilised?!” Sirius demands.

“Okay, not uncivilised…primitive?” Mary suggests, Lily nods.

“In 1969 Muggles put two men on the moon.”

“The actual legit moon?” James asks, “Are you fucking serious?!”

“I wish,” Sirius says, everyone laughs, including Bellatrix.

“Can we go to the moon Remy?”

“We don’t have a rocket Trixie.”

“What’s a rocket?”

“The thing they sent people to the moon in.”

“Can’t we apparate?”

“We aren’t old enough to apparate.”

“How is _that_ your problem with that plan?” Sirius asks incredulously, “Of course you can’t apparate to the damn moon!”

“What if you had the most powerful Wizard ever?” Alice asks.

“Alice, Albus fucking Dumbledore couldn’t apparate to the moon.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius opens his mouth to confirm it, then shuts it again.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, let’s go find out,” Sirius says as he stands up, everyone follows suit.

 

“Minnie!” Sirius says cheerily as he walks into her office, he had intended to ask her where Dumbledore is, but he’s in there with her, “Headmaster,” He greets, bowing to the man, James facepalms.

“What are you up to now?” McGonagall asks suspiciously, Sirius grins.

“Actually, we were looking for our illustrious Headmaster, see, we have a question for you.”  Dumbledore looks amused.

“Then by all means, ask away.”

“Can you apparate to the moon?” He asks with a straight face, Dumbledore and McGonagall exchange confused looks.

“Well, admittedly I’ve never tried, but given the lack of oxygen, it doesn’t seem like the brightest idea.”

“What if you had a space suit?” Lily asks curiously.

“I highly doubt it, I do not believe a witch nor wizard exists with enough power to apparate that far.”

“Told you,” Sirius says smugly.

“Hey, you’re the one that brought the moon up to begin with.”

“Actually, Regulus did.”

“Seriously what does that kid even _do_ that brings up that question?”

“Your younger brother wanted to know if it were possible to apparate to the moon?”

“No Headmaster, the conversation merely devolved to that point.  Mr Black, the younger one that is, asked what would happen if you put a Werewolf on the moon.”

“He asked last night, but then Remus and Sirius broke everything so we never answered it.  We talked about it today and it got out of hand and here we are,” Marlene tells him.

“Hey, we didn’t break everything!  In fact I broke nothing, Remy broke the plate.”

“Right, you just gave yourself a concussion and knocked a bunch of stuff over on the Hufflepuff table.”

“Oh shut it McKinnon.”

“Nice to know it’s not _just_ me you’re so mean to,” James comments, Sirius hits him upside the head.

“I wouldn’t be mean to any of you if you were nicer to me.”

“Being mean in return to being mean still means you’re being mean,” Severus tells him.

“Rich coming from you.” James mutters.

“What was that Potter?”

“You heard me.”

“Okay, no, no.  Stop that,” Lily says, standing between them.

“He started it,” Severus says.

“Being mean in response to mean still means you’re being mean,” James tells him, he sneers at him, James glares.  Remus facepalms as Sirius laughs.

“Somehow I don’t think _that_ was meant to help the situation,” Severus drawls.

“I’m just saying that you’re being a hypocrite.”

“Oh _I_ am?!”

“Yep.”

“You listen here Potter…”

“QUIT IT!” Lily yells, “Come on, we’ve been getting along so well for most of a term, let’s not ruin it now!”

“Well it’s a little bit hard to get along when he and Black attack me every chance they get.  Verbally speaking of course,” Severus adds making Remus roll his eyes.

“Hey, I’m not part of this, don’t bring me into it, you greasy git.”

“Nice one staying out of it,” Lily tells him.

“High-five for the effort?” He asks, she glares at him, arms crossed.

“Well I _tried_ being nice,” Sirius says,

“If what you’ve been doing to me is what you call nice then I pity your friends.”

“And I pity anyone who has to see your damn ugly face, Snivellus.”

“James!” Alice chastises.

“Potter you are such a jerk!” Lily tells him.

“Why is it that you’ll jump at me but defend him even when he’s a git too?”

“Because you make it personal, every time.”

“It’s a friendship group Evans, it’s all personal!  That’s the entire point!  And I’ll have you know that I’m a damn good friend to people that are in return.  I suppose you just wouldn’t understand that, you are a Slytherin after all.”

“Not all Slytherins are like that,” Remus tells him, James turns to him.

“You’re defending him now?!”

“No, I’m defending my Girlfriend.”

“And suddenly every Slytherin is innocent because you decided to snog your friend’s cousin?!” James asks angrily, Remus rears back from him as everyone goes quiet.

“Better than every Slytherin being guilty because of what a beat up old hat thinks of them at age eleven.”

“Come on Remy, let’s just leave this all alone until everyone’s calmed down a bit,” Mary suggests, grabbing his free hand and pulling him away, he goes without a fight.  Bellatrix happily going along with him.  Severus storms past them and out the door, Lily going with him, Marlene swerves around to James.

“You happy now?” He sighs, deflating.

“No.”


	7. What You Don't Know

Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

Remus ignores James for the next few days.  He speaks to Sirius and Peter, but never to James.  Lily’s gone back to hating James, and Severus hates them all save for Lily.

“Just talk to him, see if he’ll apologise,” Bellatrix requests.

“Trixie, I told you, he’ll either do it on his own or it won’t happen at all.” She sighs.  It’s just the two of them, so she doesn’t bother with the craziness.

“He’s too arrogant to go to you.”

“Probably a large part of his problem in general.”

“Have you considered how this is making Peter and Sirius feel?” Remus sighs, “Please Remy, for me?” 

 

Meanwhile, in McGonagall’s office.

“Professor?”

“Yes Mr Potter?”

“I was wondering, you can turn animals into things with transfiguration spells, but can you turn animals into other animals?  Or people into animals?” McGonagall looks at him warily.

“People that can turn into animals at will are called Animagi.  It’s a difficult process and you have to go on a register.  Why do you ask?” James looks at her thoughtfully.

“Just curious I suppose, thank you Professor.” He leaves, heading straight for the library.

 

 

“Can you guys give us a minute?” Remus asks when he walks into the dorm, looking between Sirius and Peter who gladly up and leave.  James looks at him warily from his seat on his bed, a library book hidden under his pillow, Remus sighs, “You two don’t get along.  I shouldn’t have tried to make you.”

“I shouldn’t have said what I did about you and Bellatrix.  I didn’t even really mean it, I was just…”

“Angry, I know.”

“So…we good?” James asks, full of trepidation, Remus nods.

“Yeah, we’re good.”

“Good because I have an idea for our next prank, but it’s going to take all of us,” Sirius says as he walks back in, Peter flushing at Sirius giving away their eavesdropping.

 

“I can’t believe we got detention again,” Sirius complains as they clean cauldrons.

“We released a hundred cats into the Great hall, I’m surprised we only got _one_ detention.”

“Just think of it, only one month before summer holidays begins!” James points out, “Everyone got permission from parents for our schedule, right?”

“What, jumping between three of our houses while skirting the full moon?  No I just told my parents I was staying at your place again.  I think they’re glad,” Sirius tells him, James chuckles.

“I still think there _had_ to be a better way to do it,” Peter tells them.

“We maximised how much time we’d see each other as much as possible,” James points out.

“Why couldn’t we just stay at your house or my house the entire time and then Remy could leave when he has to and then come back?”

“Especially since your parents know he’s ‘sick’ and leaves for monthly ‘treatments’,” Sirius points out.

“I’m sorry, monthly treatments?” Remus asks confused.

“Oh right, yeah we were trying to work out what was going on during the Christmas holidays before you joined us.  That’s what we guessed.”

“Huh, yes I can see where you got that.  Way more likely than the alien theories,” Remus says jokingly, James pokes his tongue out at him.

“Okay, so, maybe that plan would have made more sense Peter, practicality speaking, but how would we have gotten Remus’ parents to agree to that without them finding out we know?”

“Feed them the belief your parents have and make them think we think it too,” Sirius replies as though it’s obvious.

“It’s too close to the truth, they’d panic.”

“They have to realise we’re going to have put at least that much together by now.” Remus nods.

“Fair call.”

“I mean we have a month, we can always ask and if they say no go back to the original plan?”

“We can write out a letter to your parents and a letter to mine when we get back?  If they say yes, Peter writes to his?” Remus suggests, James nods.

“So, you guys remember when I said Remy needs a new nickname now that Bella’s ruined Remy for me?”

“I do recall the ridiculousness, yes,” Remus says, Sirius rolls his eyes at him.

“I came up with one.”

“Pray tell,” James requests, Sirius grins, “Oh that can’t be good.”

“Moony.” Remus stares at him, blinks a few times, stares again.

“You what?”

“I like it,” James says, he sees the look on Remus’ face, “Remy no one is going to work it out from that.  Most of the school doesn’t even know you ever leave and most that do still think you’re visiting your sick mother.”

“You guys worked it out!”

“We live with you and you literally broke an entire room the minute someone used the W word.”

“I panicked!”

“I’m just saying, if you avoid doing that again, you’ll be fine.  Moony.” Remus sighs.

“That’s sticking, isn’t it?”

“Yep.”

 

After detention, as they walk towards their tower, something occurs to Peter.

“We never did pick a name for our group.  For the map and the room and stuff.”

“No James and the Potters,” Sirius tells him as soon as James opens his mouth.

“What about the Prank Team?”

“I am not going to be apart of something with that lame a name,” Sirius tells him. “What about the Banter Band?”

“No Sirius,” Remus tells him flat-out.  By this point they’ve stopped walking and are just standing in the hallway debating this.

“What nonsense are you marauders up to now?” They hear, turning around they see McGonagall and exchange looks.

“Minnie, you’re a bloody genius!” Sirius tells him, moving forward and kissing her on the cheek before he starts skipping off down the hallway. “WE SHALL HENCEFORTH BE KNOWN AS THE MARAUDERS!  ALL BE WARNED, THE MARAUDERS ARE COMING, HA! BRILLIANT!”

“What did I just do?” McGonagall asks, James grins at him.

“Nothing much Professor.” He walks off after Sirius, Peter laughs and goes after them.

“COME ALONG LADS, TO THE MARAUDER’S LAIR!” Sirius yells back down the hallway.

“Mr Lupin?”

“Good day Professor, thank you for the suggestion,” Remus says, turning and walking after his friends.

“Oh Merlin what have I done?”

“YOU’RE GOING THE WRONG WAY YOU TWIT!” Remus yells down the hallway.

“WE’RE TAKING THE SCENIC ROUTE MOONY, HURRY UP!”  McGonagall starts slightly at the name, had he told them?  Had they guessed?  Either way everything seemed fine between them, better than ever perhaps, she smiles.

 

The next time the full moon came around, the Marauders were ready.

“Okay, you have two books, you have clothes, you have snacks, we’ll take notes for you, and we’ll be in the hospital to see you during first break,” Sirius tells Remus as he carries the bag they’d packed for him.  He wasn’t leaving until three, but they thought it better to keep it with them during the day in case something weird happens.

“I’ll be fine guys, it’s not like I haven’t done this before,” Remus reminds them as Peter helps him slowly descend the stairs.

“Maybe, but we haven’t, not really.  Now we know what’s happening, I mean things are the same but, I guess now we’re just worrying about a specific thing.”

“I won’t be able to get out of the shack.”

“I’m worried about you not everyone else you great bumbling idiot!”

“Who’s a great bumbling idiot?” Marlene asks as they enter the common room.

“The guy that keeps forgetting people care about him.”

“What did Remy do?”

“How’d you know he meant me?” Marlene raises an eyebrow at him.

“You have self-esteem issues dear.”

“Come on, Trixie is waiting outside for us,” Remus mutters, the five of them move to the door, dubious about how he would know that, and find Bellatrix walking up the stairs to the door.

“Oh, Hi!  I was just going to wait for you, um, the Headmaster wants to see you Remy.”  Remus frowns, “McGonagall asked me to find you and tell you, she’s got a class on in a few minutes and didn’t have time.”

“I suppose I had better go then.”

“Take the bag, just in case.” Sirius tells him, he takes it from him.  “Want us to walk you there?  There’s a lot of stairs.”

“I’m going to be late anyway, I’ll walk him there.”

“You wouldn’t be late if you left on time and didn’t take detours to the other side of the castle.”

“Where’s the adventure Remy?”

“And with that we leave you in the hands of your insane girlfriend.  We’ll see you tomorrow Moony,” James tells him, he nods before the others walk off to class and Bellatrix takes him to Dumbledore’s office.

“Do you want me to walk you up these stairs?” She asks when they reach the seat that go directly to his office, Remus shakes his head.

“I got it, go to class Trixie, we have the next one together anyway, so I’ll see you then.”  She smiles brightly, kisses him on the cheek, and skips off down the hall, Remus chuckles at her all the way up the stairs despite the ache and the effort and the tiredness.

“Ah, Mr Lupin.”

“Headmaster, I hear you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, please come in.”  Remus walks and sits in the seat Dumbledore gestures to, directly across the desk from him.

“Is something wrong Headmaster?” Remus asks when the Wizard doesn’t speak.

“Not wrong per se, I’m…concerned for you.”

“Sir?”

“I do try to stay out of the personal lives of my students, however in this case I feel a bit of interference may be in order.  For your sake and for hers you understand.”

“No Sir, I really don’t.”

“Your relationship with Miss Black.”

“What about it Sir?” Remus feels his wolf’s need to protect rearing up and pushes it down.  He’ll never understand how it can feel so strong on days like today, yet if any of his fellow Marauders stumbled across him on a full moon he would attack instantly.

“I’m not sure it’s the best idea.”  Remus frowns.

“Professor, are you suggesting I break up with my Girlfriend?”

“No dear boy, of course not.  What I mean to say is, given the back ground the girl was raised in…”

“That girl has a name.  And while I believe it a very beautiful name and one you should use instead of ‘the girl’, her last name does not define her.  No more than it does Sirius, nor James.”

“Yet you still refer to him as Potter in every instance but this one.”

“I don’t appreciate what you’re inferring here Headmaster.”

“Perhaps you don’t, but Slytherins can be sneaky, her type especially.  They will not take kindly to it were they to find out what you are.” Remus, feeling as though he’s just been threatened, stands up.

“I think that’s for me to take care of.  But for the record, Trixie wouldn’t give a rat’s arse about my being a Werewolf. Sir.” Remus leaves, nearly falling down the stairs in his haste, catching himself on the hand railing and then holding back the pained shout when his wait comes down on his sore bones.

“I suppose it’s a good thing I ignored you and waited then, isn’t it?” Bellatrix says when he reaches the bottom of the stairs and sees him rubbing his arm.  Remus doesn’t respond, he just steps forward and kisses her, on the mouth, just as she did the first time they met.

“Let’s get to class.”

“Oh, um, okay,” She says surprised, he takes her hand and the two walk to their history of magic class.

 

Remus is in a bad mood the rest of the day, and not in a ‘feels crap before a full moon’ kind of way but in a ‘the headmaster doesn’t like my relationship and basically threatened to tell her family about me’ sort of way.  Not that the others know this.

“All right, what’s up with you Moony?” James asks while they sit in the library during break.  He had wanted to go to the Marauder’s lair, but Remus insisted Bellatrix stay with them for break and none wanted to deny him anything when he’s going to go through agony to become a beast against his will in a few hours and most likely end up in severe pain from attacking himself again.  So to the library it was.

“Nothing’s up with me, why would something be up with me? What is it with everyone and sticking their nose into my business?” Remus says with a sudden heat, his fellow marauder’s look surprised and concerned, Bellatrix laying a hand on his arm, frowning in concern.  He takes a deep breath, “Sorry.”

“Does this have something to do with what Dumbledore wanted?” Remus scowls at the homework he had been attempting to do, literally growling slightly, Sirius kicks his leg.

“Ow!” Remus cries, sending a dirty look Sirius’ way, showing the three boys that Remus hadn’t even been aware of what he was doing, “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’ll ask again when you’re in a better mood,” Sirius decides, Remus huffs and rolls his eyes, shutting the book he’d been reading from and putting his homework away.

“Okay, we should get going if we’re going to make it to the grounds in time for our next flying lesson,” James says, remembering to add time on for Remus’ slowed pace.

 

“Do you guys ever think about the fact that one day our kids will be doing this?  Maybe even together?”  Sirius asks a few minutes later as they walk.

“No, I guess I hadn’t,” James admits, “That’s kind of cool and kind of weird to think about.  Do you think this place will have changed much?”

“In twenty to thirty years?  I doubt it.”

“If you were to have a child right now for some reason, what would you name them?” James asks, Sirius snorts.

“Anything but a constellation.”

“Nancy or…Liam,” Peter tells them.

“Constellation,” Bellatrix says, Sirius scoffs in an amused fashion.

“Of course you would.”

“I’d go with…Hubert, or…”

“Nope, stop, no.  You are banned from naming anything.  Remus, your input, when Evans and Potter have a child, what should they name it?”  Remus looks at them in amusement and thinks, looking at James, Sirius continues, “I predict your first born will be a son, and he will look like you.  And he will be named…” Sirius looks to Remus to finish the sentence.

“Harry.”

“Just for this, I will specifically not name him that.”

“You’re no fun.  Come on, Harry Potter, I guarantee it, he’ll be famous some day!” Sirius tells him, James laughs.

 

A few hours later, Bellatrix watches from a window as her boyfriend disappears beneath a tree, “Huh.”

She sits, and waits, but he never comes up.  It’s a few hours later when she decides to investigate, just to make sure he’s okay.

“Immobulus,” She says, the Whomping Willow stopping its movement.  She finds the tunnel and goes down it, as she moves she has a growing feeling in the pit of her stomach that something is very wrong and she should go back.  She ignores it, because if something is wrong then something might be wrong with her Remy and then she has to help him.  Eventually she reaches an old rickety door, her hand on the door handle, she freezes, hesitating one more time.  Opening the door, she finds… _Oh no._

“Ahwoooo!” The Werewolf before her howls, throwing its head back, she’s stuck, so afraid that she cannot move, and then it looks at her.  Her hand is still on the door, and she should slam it shut and run, but she doesn’t.  It growls, moving towards her, teeth bared.  It seems about to attack when it sniffs the air, then turns its head to the side in puzzlement.  It walks over and sniffs at her hair, she daren’t even breath, then it nuzzles her neck.  She breathes again.  The wolf before her sits down on it’s hind legs, she holds a hand out slowly towards it.  It sniffs at her hand before turning it’s face into it, she strokes it softly.

“Ahah,” She says breathily, eyes wide and heart pumping, she’s petting a werewolf!  But not just any werewolf, “I presume you would be Moony then.”  The creature doesn’t answer her, obviously, but she moves closer towards it and it does not panic.  She steps into the room, closing the door behind her, “Hello,” She says, giving a slight laugh of joy as it sniffs at her and nuzzles her again.  It went against everything she had thought she’d known about werewolves, yet here it was, happening before her very eyes, “How is this possible?” She whispers in awe as she scratches behind Moony’s ears, he seems to enjoy it, she laughs again.

Bellatrix stays with him the rest of the night, but she knows she mustn’t be caught there by teachers, not without Remus’ permission.  Besides, he doesn’t even know she knows yet, not until he reverts back into human form.  So she leaves him a message for when he wakes up.

“Remus, when you come back to yourself and remember tonight, remember that I care for you, and if anything tonight made me care for you more.  I don’t know why you let me near you like this, why you didn’t try to harm me at all, and I’m not sure you will either.  But I’m glad it happened, and I’m glad to know this part of you as well.  I’ll see you soon Remy,” She says, placing a kiss on the wolf’s forehead before she turns to leave, she hears a whimper behind her and turns to see Moony looking dejected, she smiles, “Don’t worry.  I’ll be here for you when we get back after summer, always.”

 

“Well it seems you had a nice and uneventful night for once,” James comments as soon as Remus wakes up, he smiles.

“Anyone seen Trixie today?”

“Oh I see how it is, doesn’t care about us, immediately asks about the girlfriend.”

“If I could roll my eyes without it hurting right now Sirius, I would be doing it.”

“I’ll just consider it done then,” He says with a grin, a minute later Remus turns his head to the side to see them.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Sirius asks.

“For sticking around.” He squeezes Sirius’ hand, in his as usual.

“Always Moony.”  The words make him remember last night and his eyes widen, Bellatrix had been the first thing he thought of when he woke up, he hadn’t considered why.  Now he remembers, all of it, including her message.  He calms down marginally, then remembers how close he came to attacking her and has to take deep, calming breaths.

“You all right?” Peter asks him.

“I’ve no idea Pete.  Absolutely no idea.”

 

He’s released earlier than usual, that night instead of the next day, thanks to his lack of bruises and cuts.  He’s not up to the great hall though, so instead they grab food from the kitchen and go to the Marauder’s lair.

“Why don’t you like the hall around the full moon?” Peter asks after they’ve come in, closed the door, sat around the table, and started eating.

“Too much noise and light and too many scents.  It’s overwhelming.”  The boys look at him confused, “Heightened senses.”

“Is that how you knew someone was coming when we broke into the library?” Remus nods.

“And how you were able to find them after we saw Filch?” Again he nods, “And how you knew Bella was outside the common room yesterday.  Wait, did you hear her or smell her?”

“Sirius, in that damn common room, the only thing I can smell is perfume, deodorant, and sweat.” The boys laugh.

“Okay, but you have to realise we need to test this sometime.  Does it only happen near the full moon?”

“I can pull them up when it’s not but if I try it heighten more than one sense, they all come up.”

“If we knew it was happening do you think we’d be able to tell?” Remus shrugs.

“How would I know?  It’s not like I’ve ever stood in front of the mirror bring them up and pushing them back to find out.”

“Fair.”

“Moony?”

“Yes James?”  James looks at him surprised, “What?”

“I’m not sure you’ve ever called me James before except when we were at my house and it would have been confusing not to.” He shakes his head, “Anyway, about what Snivellus said about the moon vs the lunar cycles.”

“What about it?” Remus asks, suddenly looking tense, James debates whether to continue before deciding that he might as well.

“Do you feel anything when you look at the moon?” Suddenly all three boys jump backwards.

“Oh Merlin’s balls!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“What are you talking about?” He asks irately, he didn’t like the effect the moon had on him, he certainly didn’t like talking about it.  Something makes them all calm down again, pulling their chairs back to where they had been.

“Your eyes just freaking dilated the second he asked,” Sirius tells him, his eyes widen in surprise, both hands coming up and covering them as he shakes his head repeatedly, “Hey, it’s okay, it’s gone back to normal now anyway.” Remus doesn’t exactly calm down about it, but on the outside he seems to.  Sirius looks at him suspiciously, “You’re doing it again, no not the eyes, I mean the hiding everything from us.  You’re still panicking, why?”

“Because I lose control often enough to resent the fact that even when I don’t it still affects me.  I’m never free and I’m never going to be.  I hate the moon and I hate everything it represents.”  They seem surprise by the outburst, they’d seem him lose his shit only a had full of times and it was always at other people, never a complaint.

“That’s fair enough,” James says, making a mental note to be more careful with wolf-talk.  He’s curious about it, but Remy is haunted by it.

 

The next day, Bellatrix was waiting outside the common room again.

“Trixie?” Remus says, happy to see her but surprised.

“Hey, can we talk for a minute?” Remus nods.

“I…”

“You’ll meet us there, still counting by the way, this makes six,” James tells him, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Six times in half a year, the horror.” He and Bellatrix walk away from the group, planning on taking the long way to breakfast.  At least Remus was, however Bellatrix leads him outside and it’s only then that she starts talking.

“I thought you’d want to talk about what happened.”  Remus stops walking, turns to her, grabs both her shoulders and looks at her very seriously.

“How about we start with how dangerous that was?”

“Well I wasn’t exactly expecting to see a werewolf when I opened the door!”

“Why didn’t you shut the damn door and run?”

“I froze, I was scared.  I didn’t even realise it was you until you walked over and it all clicked.”

“Trixie I nearly attacked you!”

“BUT YOU DIDN’T!”

“OKAY IF WE’VE GOTTEN TO THE POINT OF YELLING I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND CALM DOWN!”  Both do so, then Bellatrix laughs.

“Only you can be the reasonable one while yelling.”

“Like only I can attack someone and be responsible about it?”

“Exactly.” Remus gives a slight laugh before they both fall silent, “Why didn’t you attack me?”

“It’s…um…complicated.”

“What do you mean?”  Remus starts shuffling from one foot to the other.

“When I caught your scent, at first it was just ‘hunt’.  But then…you know it’s always said that a werewolf would attack their own best friend given the opportunity, and that’s right.”

“But?”

“But all I could think was…”

“Honestly this is like Muggle dentists pulling teeth.  Remy, I know this is a tough subject, but spit it out already.” Remus sighs.

“All I could think was this is my mate, she must not be harmed.”  Bellatrix looks at him, surprised.

“I’m your mate?”

“Werewolves aren’t like Veela, they don’t have a mate in the sense you’re thinking of.  But they can find one, and it’s just like people with relationships except usually it’s more serious in a barer of cubs kind of way.” Bellatrix raises her eyebrow, “Obviously, given our age, that’s not happening.”

“Do werewolves mate for life?  Have I ruined your chance for a family by going in there?  If we break up for some reason, would you ever find someone else that can do that during a full moon?” Remus sighs.

“I honestly don’t know.  I’ve never heard of this happening, it’s all just instinct, like everything involving _it_.” Bellatrix puts a hand on his cheek.

“Well I like your Werewolf form.”

“Y-you do?” He asks, completely shocked, sure his friends had accepted him, but this was something else.

“Your fur is soft, you look beautiful, and you make a soft kind of happy growl when I scratch you behind the ears.  You’re adorable.  Besides, I’m dating _you_ Remy, that means all of you.”  Remus blushes, “Do the other Marauders know?” Remus nods.

“Please never mention the ear scratch thing.  Actually, don’t mention that you know or at the very least how you found out.  Then they’ll all decide to try it and someone’s going to get hurt.” Bellatrix nods.

“Good call.” She smiles, “Well, come along my occasionally furry mate, we’re missing breakfast.”

“Trixie?” Remus asks as they start walking to the great hall, “How do you know what Muggle dentists are?”

“Lily used the expression like pulling teeth and I was confused, she explained, it sparked a conversation.”

 

“One week, then we’ve finished our first year,” Peter says when Remus joins them at the table.

“What’s up with you and Bella?” Sirius asks, ignoring Peter, Remus just grins like a maniac.

“Nothing much,” He says before laughing at how untrue the statement is, of course without the context that just seemed insane.

“Her crazy is contagious apparently.”

“That explains you,” James says, Sirius throws some peas and corn at him, “So, entire summer holidays at my place, save for uh ‘treatments’.”

“This is going to be fun,” Peter says, the others nod, then Remus grimaces.

“Just don’t make me play quidditch.”

 

A week later everyone’s glaring at them as they board the train, they’d done a final prank that morning and dropped litres of paint from the ceiling of the great hall, of course no one had time to shower before the train would leave and now they were stuck covered in paint.  They all blamed the Marauders, but at least the name was catching on, McGonagall’s never forgiving herself for that one.  They set up the prank, but it wouldn’t have been any fun if they weren’t involved in it, so they were covered in paint too.

It’s an interesting train ride, everyone’s still glaring as they get off the train, the marauder’s just laughing every time they notice.

“DROM!” Sirius yells when he notices his only liked cousin, though he and Bellatrix were getting along better than ever.

“Sirius!  Hi little cousin,” She says, embracing the twelve-year-old flinging himself at her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’ve been tasked with picking up my sisters,” She explains, he smiles.

“Well I don’t know where Cissy is, but I can find Bella easy enough.”  She looks confused, “REMUS LUPIN IS BASICALLY JUST A SOGGY PANCAKE!” He yells out.

“HEY!  YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU…oh.  You couldn’t have just called out my name you jerk?” Bellatrix asks as she pushes her way through the crowd to them.

“I can’t believe that worked,” James says with a shake of his head.

“Dromeda!” Bellatrix calls happily, embracing her sister.

“Hello my favourite crazy person.”  Bellatrix looks up, tears filling her eyes.

“You have another crazy person?”

“What, no, of course not, Bella…” Andromeda starts saying, Bellatrix giggles. Andromeda sighs, “How am I _still_ falling for that.”

“Trixie, are you tormenting your sister?” Remus asks, Bellatrix turns around and grins, nodding, Remus looks amused.

“Oh, Remy, this is my sister Andromeda.  Drom, this is Remus Lupin.”

“The half-blood boyfriend Mother and Father are screeching about?” Bellatrix nods enthusiastically, Remus gulps, Andromeda smiles and reaches out a hand to shake, he takes it, “Andromeda Black, pleasure to meet you.” He smiles slightly. “Regulus is around somewhere. I brought him with me, I hear you’re going to the Potter’s place again.” Sirius nods.

“Actually, I found him, he’s over with my parents,” James says, pointing, “And with Evans’ parents…oh Merlin,” James groans, the group walk over there.

“Mr and Mrs Evans, pleasure to see you again,” Sirius greets, shaking Mr Evans’ hand and kissing the back of Mrs Evans’.

“Always such a charmer,” Andromeda comments, Sirius glares at her.

“Sirius!” Regulus rushes to hug his brother who holds him tightly back, “Only a year, then I’m at Hogwarts too!” The ten-year-old says excitedly.

“Yeah, and then it’ll be you and me against the school.”

“Well the school is certainly against you,” Lily says irately as she and Severus walk over.

“Why are you all covered in paint?” Euphemia asks, the Marauders and Bellatrix giggle while Lily’s glare intensifies.

“We decided to give the school a little going away present,” Sirius replies, all innocent smiles.  Fleamont Potter sighs.

“Oh, Andromeda, this is Euphemia and Monty Potter, and that’s Mr Kyle and Mrs Laura Evans, our friend Lily’s parents.”

“It’s Evans to you and we aren’t friends,” Lily says sternly.

“Oh come on, it was James that pissed you off!”

“You laughed!  The only one who stayed out of it was Peter!”

“Yeah but when I got involved I was defending Slytherin, not James.”

“You were defending your girlfriend.”

“I still wasn’t against you!”

“Okay so Remy’s okay too, you two suck,” Lily concludes, James sighs.

“Oh come on, I apologised.”

“No Potter, you didn’t.  Not to me, not to Severus, not to Bella, and from what I’ve gathered about you, I doubt you did to Remy either.” James opens his mouth to argue, closes it, then opens it again, “Don’t apologise now.”

“How am I supposed to make things better then?”

“Stop. Being. A. Jerk.”

“And who are you to judge that?”

“The person whose approval you’re trying to get.”

“Yeah, well I don’t need your approval anyway _Evans_.”

“Then why do you keep trying?!”

“OKAY STOP!” Sirius yells, they shut up, “I think this should be where we part ways.  We’re making a scene and the less attention we attract here the better.”

“Why?” Andromeda asks confused.

“Because Narcissa will almost definitely tell your parents that Bella’s spending time with muggles, and if Aunt Druella finds out, so will my Mother, and then Regulus is going to have to deal with that and I’ll be in trouble for letting my little brother be around those uncivilised types!” Sirius tells her, she nods.

“Fair point.”

“Uncivilised types?” Severus asks with a growl.

“I was quoting them, not stating an opinion I hold,” Sirius says, angrily.

“And you think Lily and I fight a lot,” Petunia says, rolling her eyes.

“Weren’t you all getting along when we dropped you off at the beginning of the term?” Kyle Evans asks, Remus sighs.

“There was an incident, honestly we only wanted to know if Dumbledore could apparate to the moon.  Which he can’t, by the way,” He explains, the adults, Petunia, and Andromeda all look confused.

“Speaking of the moon, you never answered my question,” Regulus tells Sirius.

“Actually, that’s what started the conversation.  We’ve narrowed it down to two possible scenarios.  Either, it’s all based on something other than the moon that occurs during the phases of the lunar cycle and putting them there would actually stop the transformation, or, it’s the moon that does it, but only the full moon is powerful enough to actually transform them, in which case, they’d be stuck transformed and possibly more deadly and powerful and dangerous and stuff.”

“What are you boys talking about?” Monty asks confused.

“What happens if you put a Werewolf on the moon,” They all say at once.  Euphemia and Monty exchange looks before Euphemia looks over to Remus and raises her eyebrows once.  Remus’ eyes widen slightly and he looks to James with wide eyes.  James, having notice the interactions, looks panicked but silently gets across the message to Remus that he hasn’t said anything to them.  They look back to his parents and find them looking rather amused, both boys look to the ground awkwardly.

“I think it’s time we head off boys.”

“Right, I’ll see you in September I suppose,” Bellatrix says to Remus who smiles.

“We’ll write to each other, just remember to send it to the Potter’s instead of to my place.”

“They’re adorable,” Andromeda dramatically whispers to Sirius who whispers back.

“I think you mean sickening.” Andromeda and Regulus both laugh, Bellatrix glares at her family as Remus chuckles.

“Oh come on, you’re meant to back _me_ up, not laugh with them.  I thought laughing at inappropriate times was _my_ thing.  You take that away from me and what am I left with Remy? What am I left with?” Remus pulls a chocolate bar out of his pocket.

“Chocolate?” Bellatrix nods, taking it.

“An acceptable trade,” She says brightly, “See you.” She skips away, Remus chuckles again as he turns back to the group.

“Where’s she going?” Regulus asks, Andromeda shrugs.

“To find Narcissa,” Remus tells them, Andromeda raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t question it, he’s going to be right,” Sirius advises, “All right little brother, I’ll write to you daily, and if anything bad happens, you know where I am.”

“You mean if anything…Sirius happens?” Remus asks, Sirius glares at him.

“I will fight you Moony, don’t think I won’t.”

“I would strongly advise against that,” Severus comments dryly, Remus smiles at him innocently.

“Good bye Sirius, I promise I’ll write too.”

“I love you Reg.”

“I love you too Siri.”

The youngest and eldest Black leave, then the Evans’ along with Severus, then the Potters leave too.

 

“So, boys,” Euphemia begins as the exit the floo and into their home, she turns to face them, giving James and Remus significant looks.  Both drop their eyes back to the floor.

“What could you two have possibly done already?” Sirius asks, exasperated but also sounding impressed.

“Be the most unsubtle people to have ever existed,” Monty tells them, Sirius looks at him in confusion.

“What happens if you put a Werewolf on the moon, Moony?” Euphemia asks, Remus swallows harshly, beginning to panic.  The others step in front of him slightly, Sirius grabbing his hand, “Oh boys calm down.  Everything is fine.  We’re just relieved to know what’s really going on.  We worry and we thought you were sick Remus.”

“I’m sorry,” He mutters quietly as tears fill his eyes, still looking at the ground. Sirius squeezes his hand reassuringly.

“Remus, look at me,” Monty tells him sternly, Remus flinches but looks up, “You are our son’s friend, and we know you well enough to know you’re a good person.  That’s all that matters to us.”

“You’ve known for a while, haven’t you?  Or at least suspected,” Remus guesses, still speaking quietly.

“When the boys told us what your name means over Christmas, well everything just sort of made sense once it was in our heads.” Euphemia admits, Remus sighs, “The nickname Moony didn’t help.”

“ButyoualreadyhadsuspicionsandmoreinformationthanmostoftheschoolhassostoppanickingRemus!” Sirius says in one breath, turning to his friend who is glaring at them.

“Are you going to tell my parents that you know?” Remus asks, the Potter’s exchange looks.

“If it were James, and your parents had found out, I would certainly want to know,” Monty tells him carefully.

“They will panic and pull me out of Hogwarts,” Remus tells them desperately.

“Now Remus, I’m sure they won’t do…”

“No, you don’t understand.  They’ve raised me knowing that at any moment the wrong person could find out and my entire life would literally be ruined, if not ended.  Do you really think they’ll take that chance?  Would you with James?” Euphemia sighs, massaging her forehead with her hand.

“Next summer.” Everyone seems confused by her words, “We’ll spend the year earning their trust, then we’ll tell them we know.  We’ll tell them how long we’ve known and we haven’t told anyone yet and we never will.” She looks between Remus and Monty, both of whom nod, “Okay, now, let’s have some dinner.”

 

A week and a half later, the boys are hanging out in James’ room, now dubbed the Marauder’s room, much to the amusement of the Potters.  Euphemia and Monty are in the kitchen when they hear the floo activate.

“The full moon isn’t for another week,” Euphemia says quietly before heading into the living room and finding Regulus Black, “Regulus.”

“Hi, I’m sorry to show up without warning, but um, could I please speak to Sirius?”

“Of course, here sit down, I’ll get him.” She walks to the bottom of the stairs, “Sirius, your brother is here,” She calls out.  A moment later she hears a kerfluffle, then a door being thrown open, and then running.  Sirius comes into view as he rushes down the stairs, the other boys behind him.

“Reg?” Sirius asks in concern.

“Living room, boys I think you should give them a minute,” Euphemia says, Sirius runs in as the others wait at the bottom of the stairs where they can see the boys but when they speak quietly they cannot be heard.

“Reg?” Sirius asks quietly, the boys composure breaks, he looks terrified, Sirius rushes forward and pulls his brother into a hug.

“Sirius, they, they…”

“What?  What did they do?” Sirius asks quietly, Regulus lowers his volume in response.

“I overheard them talking about…you-know-who.”  Sirius’ eyes widen, “Siri, ar-are they…I mean do they…?” Sirius looks back to see the others there, he pulls his brother to in front of the fire place where they have more privacy, he starts whispering.

“Regulus, no matter what they think or do or believe, you don’t have to go along with it.  You can disagree, you can fight back.”

“No, I can’t, I’m not like you Sirius.  I’m not brave, I’m not strong.”

“Yes, you are.  Do you know how many ten-year-olds could deal with this?  None, none except you.” Regulus takes a deep breath, calming himself, “That’s it, good job.  Now listen, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mother and Father _are_ involved with…him.  But I know that I never will be, I need you to really think about it.  Sooner or later they will bring it up with one or both of us and we need to know how the other will deal with it.”

“Sirius what if they’re right, they talk about him like he’s doing a good thing, what if he is?”

“He hurts people and he kills them Reg, that’s never a good thing.”

“But Remy attacked Severus when he upset Lily.  Why is that different?” Sirius freezes for a moment, unsure what to say.  But suddenly everything is put into perspective for him.

“It isn’t.  He should never have done that.  The only time it’s okay to do something like that is when someone’s life is in danger.”

“Like the danger you know who causes?  That’s why people fight back?  Is that okay then?  They still hurt people.”

“Regulus, morality isn’t something that can be taught to you, it’s something you have to decide to believe.  That isn’t always easy, sometimes it’s really damn hard.  But hurting people or judging them for things they cannot control, condemning them to death and torture for that, that’s never okay.  You need to stand up for what you believe in whenever you can, but that is not the way to do it.”

“I don’t understand.” Sirius takes a breath, thinking of another way to explain.

“If it hurts someone, and not in defence of others, it’s probably not the right thing to do.  In fact it’s definitely not.  But sometimes it seems like things are for others.  You-Know-Who claims he’s doing this for wizarding society, to protect them.  But tell me, is Hope a threat to us?  Are Lily or her parents?  Is Remus?” Regulus bites his lip, then he shakes his head, “He will kill them given half a chance, at best.” Regulus looks scared, “So would Mother and Father.”

“I don’t want to work for a bad man, but I don’t want to disappoint Mother and Father.”

“Again this comes down to a choice you have to make, which is more important, the lives of millions of people, or the approval of your parents?  No one can make that decision for you.” Regulus shakes his head as he takes another deep breath.

“They don’t have to.  I don’t want anyone to die because of me.  But I don’t want to fight against them.”

“You don’t have to, you don’t have to fight against him in this war, but you also don’t have to join him.  No matter what anyone says both of those things are true.” Regulus nods.

“Then I’m not doing either.” Sirius takes a rather relieved breath, then Regulus looks nervous again, “They’d hurt me if they knew, wouldn’t they?” Sirius feels tears fill his eyes.

“Yes, they would.”

“I’m scared Siri, of all of it.” Sirius nods, pulling his brother into another hug.

“So am I, Reg.  You should keep out of this entirely for as long as possible, don’t bring it up with them or state your opinion until they approach you about it.  And if they try to hurt you, run.  Come here.  The Potter’s will let me know and I’ll come get you and we’ll work something out, I promise.  For now, you just…you need to be brave.” Regulus nods.

“Okay, I can be brave.  Brave like you are.”

“You should get back before they notice you’re gone.” Regulus nods, stepping into the floo.

“I love you Siri.”

“I love you too Reg.”

 

“So, is everything okay with Regulus?” Monty asks over dinner that night, Sirius hadn’t really spoken to anyone since his brother left.

“No, and it won’t be for a long time.  But I think eventually, he’ll be okay.”  Sirius’ eyes look worryingly haunted, through one conversation he seemed to have gained more maturity than some do in a lifetime,  “Things have to change guys.”

“What do you mean?” Peter asks, Sirius sighs.

“All of us are writing apologies to Severus, and to Lily.  We’ve been jerks.”

“He starts it almost every time!” James tells him disbelievingly.

“That doesn’t matter James, we need to be the bigger people.  Be a better person than someone who would get so caught up in an argument with someone for no damn reason that he insults one of his best friends’ relationship.” James flushes slightly at the reminder, “Be a better person than someone who attacks another student because they gave in to peer pressure,” Sirius says looking to Remus who looks ashamed, “A better person than someone who stands around laughing while his friends torment someone instead of saying something,” He says looking to Peter who looks embarrassed, “A better person than someone who just enjoys the chaos that comes with provoking those around them,” Sirius says, obviously talking about himself.  “We complain about Sni…about Severus all the time, but we are no better.  If I were Evans, I’d hate us too.”

“Where is all of this coming from?” Euphemia asks, “Not that I disagree, quite the opposite in fact, but it’s quite the turn around.”

“My little brother has little to no concept of right or wrong because our parents are bigoted jerks.  Someone has to teach him and I’m the only one around.  I don’t want him to think that the things we’ve done to Severus were okay.  I want him to be a better person than that, and if that means I have to be one too, then so be it.”  Everyone goes quiet for a while.

“You aren’t the only one around,” Remus tells him, James nods strongly.

“Remy, we need to write some letters.”  Remus grabs parchment and pens out of his pocket.

“Wow, you really do just carry that around with you,” Monty says being amused, Remus shrugs.

“You never know when you’ll need to write an apology because your best friend’s little brother needs a better role model than the ones he’s been given.”  Sirius chuckles as Remus hands each person two pieces of parchment and a pen.

_Severus,_

_This is going to seem strange and out of no where, but I wanted to say I am sorry._

_And this time, I really am._

_I know I_ _’_ _ve been a jerk, and you have no reason to believe this letter, but it_ _’_ _s genuine._

_I was jealous of how close you are to Evans because I_ _’_ _ve been thinking about her since I saw her and I took that out on you.  It was stupid and petty, and I_ _’_ _m sorry._

_I don_ _’_ _t expect forgiveness, but I promise, my friends and I won_ _’_ _t bother you anymore._

_Sincerely,_

_James Potter_

_Evans,_

_I_ _’_ _ve already written one to Severus, but you deserve this too._

_I_ _’_ _m sorry._

_I was a stupid and childish jerk and I couldn_ _’_ _t see past my own selfishness._

_I understand that now, I_ _’_ _ve promised Severus that we won_ _’_ _t bother him anymore, and I promise you as well that we won_ _’_ _t._

_We also won_ _’_ _t bother you._

_I don_ _’_ _t expect everything to just be fine when I_ _’_ _ve been so cruel, and I know I have been, but maybe over time we can learn to get along?_

_Even if not, I_ _’_ _m going to stop being a jerk.  Not just to you and Severus but to everyone._

_Sincerely,_

_James Potter_

“I think his are the most important save for Remus’ apology to Severus for the attack,” Sirius says, grabbing the letters from James when he finishes and putting them in the two envelopes Remus procured from his pockets.  Peter hands his over, Sirius putting his own in.  Remus hands over his letter to Lily.  “And to Severus?” Remus hesitates, then he nods.

_Severus,_

_I_ _’_ _m sorry I used you to find the Slytherin common room and get the password, I_ _’_ _m sorry I_ _’_ _ve stood by and let my friends torment you, I_ _’_ _m sorry that I_ _’_ _ve helped them do it.  I_ _’_ _m sorry about the things I yelled at you, and I_ _’_ _m sorry for threatening you and the other Slytherins._

_I would apologise for the actual attacking, because I know I shouldn_ _’_ _t have done it.  But I don_ _’_ _t think either of us actually want that.  It was the wrong thing to do, but it lead to a truce for a while, and to you and Lily getting along better than before.  It lead to you growing a back bone to the other Slytherins and it lead to me meeting Bellatrix.  So I_ _’_ _m sorry that I was willing to hurt you, because that_ _’_ _s the bad bit.  But I_ _’_ _m glad I acted on it, and I think really, you are too._

_I promise, I won_ _’_ _t mess with you anymore and I won_ _’_ _t let the others do so either._

_Truthfully,_

_Remus Lupin_

“All right, there.” Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“Do we need to read this through to edit it at all?  Because you don’t seem very apologetic.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“No, I apologised.” Sirius sighs but puts it in the envelopes.

“Somehow, I never thought you’d be the one with an issue apologising, I thought it would be James.”

“We’d all do anything for Regulus, including this,” James tells him, Sirius smiles, Remus deflates a bit.

“Definitely worth it,” He says, Sirius grabs his hand and squeezes slightly.  They send the letters off.

 

The next day they get a reply from Lily.

_Thank you_

And that was that, an almost year long feud was over.

 

 


	8. Change

Chapter 8

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

A few days later, it’s a day before the full moon.  The Lupin’s will be coming to collect Remus at lunch the next day, Remus having argued them down to that though they put their feet down about it being lunch or he wouldn’t go at all.

“So when does it actually start getting painful?” Sirius asks the second Remus is awake.  As in, Sirius is literally hovering over him, close enough for Remus to feel his breath, and has just opened his eyes when Sirius speaks.

“WHAT THE HELL SIRIUS!” Remus screams, frightened out of his wits as he jolts away from Sirius, accidentally smashing their foreheads close.

“BOYS?  ARE YOU OKAY?” Monty calls from downstairs as the two rub their foreheads and Remus glares at Sirius.

“YEAH,” They all call back, Remus wincing slightly at the loud noise.

“When does it start getting painful?  Before the full moon I mean.”

“Last night,” Remus replies, still rubbing at his forehead.  The boys seem surprised.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” James asks him, Remus shrugs.

“It was just a twinge as we were getting into bed, it’s not like anything can be done about it anyway, so why complain?”

“What about a numbing potion?  Or a pain killer?” Sirius asks as they all get up and start heading down stairs, Remus walking slower as expected.  The others slow down for him, though he doesn’t yet need help with the stairs.

“I assume my parents will have tried that at some point, but since they don’t use it now, it probably didn’t work.”

“What do you mean you assume?”

“I don’t remember everything that happened when I was four years old, Peter.”

“Oh, right.” Peter then whispers quiet enough that no one would even know he spoke, especially since he turned away from them, “Are your senses heightened?”

“They’re heightening, but not especially so yet, no.” James and Sirius look confused.

“Heightened enough to have heard me though.”

“You’re close by, and it did sound quiet,” Remus tells him with a shrug, James and Sirius catch on to what happened, so they don’t question it.

“Good morning boys,” Euphemia says cheerily as they sit at the table.

“That’s a bit debatable Mum,” James sense, looking at Remus with worry, Remus rolls his eyes.

“I’m fine James.”

“You say that like you’d tell us if you weren’t.”

“I don’t know why you worry about me, no matter how bad it seems before or after, none of this is actually going to kill me.” James looks thoughtful.

“Admittedly that had not occurred to me.”

“You could kill you though.  Those gashes…or claw marks I suppose, they were deep Moony.” Remus looks at Sirius’ reassuringly.

“But was I at all injured last time?” Sirius sighs.

“No.” Remus doesn’t mention why, or that it won’t happen again until they get back to school.  If he gets his way, Bellatrix won’t be anywhere near him on a full moon even then, but he doubts she’ll stay put.

“I never realised this was actually painful,” Monty says, eyes narrowed with worry in Remus’ direction.

“That thought will quickly be forgotten when you see him tomorrow,” James tells him, Remus hits him lightly, “What?  He’ll see it anyway.” Remus sighs.

“Just ignore it okay?  Nothing can be done about it, and I’ll be fine in a few days.” James suddenly looks at his plate with interest, “What?” James looks at him.

“Oh, you’re talking to me?”

“No one else is acting weird, so yes James, I’m talking to you.”

“I’m not acting weird.”

“Disagree,” Sirius tells him, James sighs.

“It’s…oh look, mail.”  Owls land on the railing of the balcony, Euphemia looking at her son with mild annoyance before she goes and grabs it.

“Two for Remus, two for Sirius.”

“Am I just chop-liver to these people?” James asks looking overly disheartened.

“Do you _want_ to be getting letters from Bellatrix?” Sirius asks, Remus hits him.

“Oh I shudder at the thought of all that crazy.” Remus glares at James and hits him too.  Neither mention how light the hit is.

“Quit mocking my girlfriend,” He tells them, Peter laughs.

“Only you could get into a serious relationship at age Twelve and have it last for half a year and still be going strong.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Of you with Bella?  No, ew, cousin, her with you on the other hand…” Sirius says, Remus rolls his eyes as he opens his letters.

“Oh look at that James, one’s from Lily.” James glares at him.

“She only talks to you because she wants help with her homework.”

“James, we’re on summer holidays, there _is_ no homework,” Peter reminds him, James looks at Remus in shock, Remus chuckles slightly, handing the letter over for him to read.

“Merlin’s beard, you two are such nerds,” James says, passing it back,  “They did so well in class the teachers gave them more advanced work to work on over the holidays.”

“You say more advanced but we’ve both finished already.”

“Then what’s she writing to you about?” Sirius asks.

“We’re swapping work so we can look at what the other did.  Also apparently Severus begrudgingly says hi, and Marlene, Mary, and Alice are all going to Lily’s place next week so she’ll write to us then.”

“I guess the other letter is Bella?” Peter asks, Remus nods, “Who are yours from, Sirius?”

“Um…well one is Reg…”

“And the other?” Sirius is looking at the letter in question with a rather confused look on his face.

“Marlene.”

“What?” They all ask, James and Peter getting up to look at it while Remus just leans over.

“Is she…”

“Flirting with him?  Yes, yes she is,” James answers Peter’s question.  James’ parents look extremely amused.

“I don’t know how to respond to this,” Sirius says, looking at the page dubiously.

“Sirius Black failing to flirt with someone?  Now I’ve seen it all,” Remus tells him, he glares at him.

“In person I can deal with, if I sound like an idiot in a letter there is a written freaking copy of it,” He explains much to everyone’s amusement, “Besides, I don’t know if I even want to.”

“So let her down kindly, answer her but block her attempts to flirt,” James suggests, Sirius sighs.

“But I’m not sure I _don_ _’_ _t_ want to do this.”

“I don’t get it, you flirt with Moony without a problem all the time.”

“Yes but James, that’s Moony, this is _Marlene_.”

“I don’t know if I’ve just been insulted or complimented,” Remus comments dubiously, Sirius just rolls his eyes.

“If anyone feels like actually being helpful, chime in any time.”

“Hey, we’ve given options, apart from the obvious, pretend the bird got shot down and you never received the letter,” James tells him, Sirius sighs,  “Of course, then you’d need to shoot that specific owl down and have it in the paper so that she sees it without you telling her.  I don’t know about you, but killing a bird to avoid this seems like a bit of an overreaction.”

“I don’t know, it is pooping on your deck,” Peter says as he turns to look at it, the boys all look round.

“Ew,” They say as one.

“We aren’t killing the bird!” Remus tells them sternly, “A single owl death wouldn’t make it into the prophet, we’d have to massacre a whole bunch.”

“OH MY GOD WE AREN’T KILLING ANY OWLS!” Sirius calls out loudly, voice filled with annoyance and disbelief, he sees Remus grimace and immediately looks guilty, “Sorry.”

“May I offer some advice?” Euphemia asks, they look up to see her and Fleamont looking far too amused for what is a very serious situation.

“Please.”

“Do you like this girl Sirius?”

“I’ve never really thought about it.”

“Perhaps you should work that out before you decide to do anything.” Sirius frowns at the letter, then nods.

“Now why couldn’t you bird murdering psychopaths have thought of that?”

 

A few hours later, they’re sprawled out in the living room, Sirius going through the pros and cons of Marlene McKinnon.

“Of course my family would never approve, not that that matters.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake Sirius, how are you still going on about this?!” James calls out.

“It’s difficult!  Remus, how did you decide you wanted to date Bella?  I mean there are a lot of cons there.” Remus chuckles, “What?”

“When you like someone, Sirius, the cons don’t matter.  They become something that you deal with together, or it’s something that you grow to like.  Being in a relationship means liking every part of them or liking them enough to look past the things you don’t.”  Sirius sighs.

“You know I was expecting to be grossed out by you calling her hot or something.”

“Well there’s that too.”

“And now I’m grossed out.”  Remus rolls over on the floor and slowly gets to his feet with a slightly pained expression.

“Where are you going?” Peter asks.

“The tap’s dripping and it’s annoying me.”

“Which tap, I’ll get it.  Lay down before you hurt yourself,” Sirius tells him, Remus rolls his eyes.

“I can turn off a blasted tap Sirius, I’m not incompetent.”

“I’m not saying you are.  But just because you _can_ do something, doesn’t mean you have to.” Remus bites his lip, “You’re tired, lay back down.”

“Upstairs bathroom, I think it’s the one near James’ room but I’m not certain.” Sirius nods and goes to do it as Remus lays back down.

“Has that been annoying you all day?” James asks him, Remus shakes his head.

“No, I’ve only been able to hear it for about ten minutes.” Remus tilts his head to the side, Peter and James exchanging confused looks, “Sirius wants to know where the second upstairs bathroom is because it wasn’t the one near your room…Nope, he found it.” Peter chuckles.

“That is both really weird and really cool.”

“I just realised I never got around to opening Reg’s letter,” Sirius says as he jogs past the living room and into the dining room to grab the letter, then jogs back and lays back down.  “Better?”

“Thank you,” Remus replies, Sirius smiles, “What’s the little Marauder have to say?”  Sirius chuckles at the name.

“I’m going to tell him you –”

“Sirius?” James asks, leaning on his elbow to look over when Sirius stops speaking suddenly.

“Should’ve seen this coming,” Sirius mutters.

“What?” Sirius sighs.

“He wants to know if our parents love him.”  Everyone goes awkwardly quiet, “Moony…”  Remus hands over parchment, a pen, and an envelope.   He sits up and uses the coffee table to write his response.

_Reg,_

_I wish I could say they did, that they loved both of us more than anything, but the truth is I don_ _’_ _t know._

 _Maybe they do love us, in their own way.  At the very least they are more fond of you than of me, but I don_ _’_ _t know how far or how deep that goes._

_All I do know is that I love you very much, and my friends absolutely adore you._

_Remus called you The Little Marauder just a moment ago._

_So while I_ _’_ _m not sure how Mother and Father feel about us, I do know that no matter what you are always loved and you will never be alone._

_Your loving brother,_

_Sirius_

Sirius tells them what he’s written, they all hope he believes it.

“Do you guys want to just camp out here tonight?” James suggests, they all agree, Remus pretends he doesn’t realise it’s so that he doesn’t have to take the stairs in the morning.

 

The next morning, Euphemia and Fleamont come down stairs to find all but Remus awake.  Peter quietly reads a book, James does a wizard’s crossword puzzle, and Sirius reads through Remus’ extra work.

“I’m not cheating!  I just want an idea of what we’re doing when school starts up again,” Sirius whispers when Euphemia raises an eyebrow at him.  James and Peter shush him immediately, Sirius winces as they all turn to Remus to see if he had woken up, “Phew,” Sirius says in relief, Remus groans slightly.  James glares at Sirius as Peter just shakes his head and returns to his book.

 

Remus wakes up a few minutes later when Euphemia starts cooking breakfast, he decides not to move yet other than to throw an arm over his eyes.  Of course that ends up being a mistake and he quickly puts it back and just opens his eyes.

“Morning,” Sirius says quietly.

“Morning,” Remus replies, just as quietly.  Peter, James, and Sirius start chatting in low voices, Remus just dozes until Sirius places a hand on him arm.

“Breakfast?” He starts sitting up, Sirius lets him do that, but insists he and James help him stand.

“Good morning, how did everyone sleep?” Monty asks as the boys join them at the table.

“Not bad,” James replies cheerily though not loudly.  Remus doesn’t talk or eat much during the meal, but he smiles politely when addressed and answers questions posed to him.

 

By the time the Lupin’s arrive, Remus has fallen asleep on the couch while his friends play muggle chess.  Remus had introduced them to it over the last week and they were determined to get through a game without forgetting to move the pieces themselves, though none had lost the habit of announcing their moves as they move the piece.  When Lyall and Hope exit the floo, Sirius turns to Remus, asleep on the couch beside him, and shakes him slightly.

“Moony?”  Remus blearily opens his eyes, “Your parents are here.”  He blinks a few times.

“Right.” He pulls himself up and off of the couch, with a bit of help from Sirius before making his way over to his parents.  They talk with Fleamont and Euphemia briefly before the three leave.

“I’m not going to be able to look at the moon without glaring at it ever again,” Monty comments when they’ve gone.

“Wait until tonight when you try to sleep but the knowledge that he’s out there in wolf form probably attacking himself keeps circling in your head and you’re worried about what condition you’ll next see him in,” Sirius tells them as the boys go back to their game.

“I suppose you boys are pretty used to all this now.”

“Even before we knew we were still faced with all of this.  Of course, we thought he was dying or being attacked but that’s not the point.”

“I’m not sure we were wrong anyway,” Sirius tells James, they go quiet, Sirius shakes his head, “Still, no point dwelling on it.  We’ll see him in a few days and everything will be fine.”

 

That was true for the most part.  They spent two days playing a lot of quidditch to get it out of their systems before Remus arrived back.  They get a letter from Remus at dinner on the second night.

“ _My fellow Marauders,_

 _I_ _’_ _ll be back tomorrow morning, just don_ _’_ _t panic.  I promise it_ _’_ _s not as bad as it looks._

_Moony,_ ” James reads out to the table, “Do you think he realises how not comforting that was?”

“Maybe he just doesn’t want you to make a big deal out of whatever has happened?  So he’s given you warning,” Monty suggests, Sirius groans.

“He could have been less vague then.”

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” Euphemia tells them, no one sleeps well that night.

 

Remus arrives back about ten am the next morning, they realise what the letter was about as soon as they see him, despite him ducking his head shyly.

“Now we’re gonna have to watch Bella drooling when we get back.” Is the first thing anyone says, Euphemia face palms at Sirius’ words.

“Seriously?” She asks, then looks disappointed with herself as Sirius grins at her, Remus chuckles, “I do have to say though, when it heals over a little more, you’ll look very bad boy.”

“I don’t think _anything_ could make Moony look like a bad boy Mum, have I mentioned that he folds his socks?”

“Yes, and you lose yours,” Remus replies, James chuckles at him, his Dad clears his throat making Remus’ grimace.

“When did they work out we knew?” James whispers to Remus.

“They seemed to have suspicions when they picked me up.”

“What’s given us away now?”

“Well the nickname didn’t help,” Hope tells them from right behind them.  They both jump, James stabilizing Remus when he doesn’t quite catch himself in time.

“Can I once again point out though, they have way more information than others do.”

“Yes, Sirius, relax, I’m not panicking,” Remus tells him, “If they were going to lose it about this they wouldn’t have brought me back here.”

“To be honest the biggest give away was no one being surprised at the scratches,” Lyall admits, then he sighs, “If Remus didn’t tell us it’s because he doesn’t think he needs help which means he trusts you all.  He’s been dealing with this as long as we have, so we trust his judgement.”

“We really won’t tell anyone.  But if we can help in anyway, let us know,” Euphemia tells them, they nod.

“Remus?”

“Yes Mum?”

“I feel like a bad parent for saying this but, for everyone’s sake, you need to learn to lie better,” Hope tells her son who grimaces.

“I can be subtle!”

“Moony, you broke a plate, stabbed a table, sent a plate of pork flying, knocked over a dozen goblets, and lead to a concussion and about four separate people falling over when I mentioned the word Werewolf in a completely unrelated fashion before I even _knew_ about it,” Sirius points out, Hope and Lyall look at their son, he sighs.

“I’ll work on it.”

 

“Moony, stop rubbing at them,” Sirius tells Remus when he starts rubbing at the scratches on his face.

“It itches.”

“I know it itches but you’re only making this worse for yourself,” He tells him as he pulls his hand away from his face, Remus sighs, shoulders drooping.

“It’s not that bad Moony,” James tells him, “You still look like our Moony to me.” Remus smiles slightly at him.

“Oh, before we forget, your friend Marlene invited you all to go to a Muggle moving theatre was it?” Monty asks, the boys shrug.

“Something like that.”

“Movie theatre, also called Cinema,” Remus tells them, James sighs.

“How do I seriously forget you went to Muggle primary school so constantly?”

“You forget everything constantly, James.  Remember that time you got so lost in school that you ended up in the courtyard when you tried to go to Potions?” James thinks, then shakes his head.

“Nope, but, I’m an idiot.”  Sirius and Peter lose their shit laughing, “What?”

“That *cackles* never *wheezes* happ-pennnneeddd,” Sirius says as he laughs, James glares at Remus who tries to smile innocently but winces at the way it pulls at his healing claw marks.

“Two days, apparently, Evans and Mary decided to educate us and Marlene, Bellatrix and Alice on Muggle things after the moon apparition incident. Evans’ is trying to get Severus to come along too.”

“What are we going to see?”

“Moony, we didn’t even know what it was, do you think we questioned further?” Peter asks as he calms, Remus groans.

“You guys have no idea what you signed us up for,” He says as he quickly pulls out a letter and writes something out, sending it off immediately, “It’s probably already too late,” He complains much to the other’s confusion.

“Right, we were wondering how much money you’ll all need.  We’ll need to get it exchanged into Muggle currency.  Apparently Mary’s taking care of tickets, said snacks were on us and to get a ballpark amount from you.  We couldn’t exactly say you weren’t here so…yeah.”

“Well they both know I wasn’t here.”

“How?”

“Because I would have questioned further _immediately_.  Wizards, honestly,” Remus mutters, Euphemia and Monty looking confused but amused.

 

The next morning Remus gets a response, literally just,

_Tickets booked ;P_

“All right, what did we do?” Peter asks.

“They’re going to make us watch a chick flick.”

“A what?” Remus shakes his head.

“You’ll understand.  When you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“I feel as though I should be defending Muggle females somehow, but I don’t know what’s happening,” Euphemia tells them honestly, Remus waves her off.

“Don’t worry, I’ll complain when we get there, Lily and Mary will read me the riot act right up until the adverts start.”

 

The next day they head off to Muggle London, where they’d agreed to meet outside the cinema.  It was a central one to everyone and one that they guessed Remus would be familiar with, which he was.

“Hello ladies,” Sirius says as they get there, winking at Marlene.  Peter, James, and Remus exchange eye rolls.

“What the hell happened to you?  Is this why you didn’t read the invite yourself?” Lily asks, Remus self-consciously touches his face.

“Erm, yes,” Is all he says, they look as though they’re going to continue questioning when Bellatrix turns up.  In muggle clothing.  And with her hair loosely plaited to the side to keep it controlled.

“Hey,” She says calmly as she walks up, most are surprised by the sanity, Remus hesitates to turn around and face her.  She walks up beside him and takes his hand, James shakes his head at her slightly, so she doesn’t push him, “So what exactly are we doing here?”

“Well, you, Mary, Marlene, Lily, and Alice are going to have fun.  The rest of us are going to the most boring hell imaginable,” Severus tells her, James nods at him, he nods back.

“It’s not going to be that bad.”

“I was asked after you,” Severus says when Remus goes to speak, “Why didn’t you ask what we were seeing?”

“I wasn’t there to read the invite and everyone I was with is a _pureblood_.”

“I love how suddenly that’s become the insult,” Mary says with a laugh shared by Lily.

“What hell are we being put through?” Remus asks, Lily rolls her eyes.

“It’s not a chick flick!” Lily insists, “It’s just a nice movie.” Severus and Remus look to each other.

“Chick Flick,” They say simultaneously.

“Okay, you know what, just because boys fail to appreciate a happy freaking movie doesn’t mean…” This continues for a while as they walk into the cinema, a young man walking out of a theatre with what appears to be his girlfriend hears Lily and Mary and gives them sympathetic looks.  His girlfriend sees this unfortunately and suddenly he’s getting ranted to as well.

“So what are we seeing?” Severus asks, Lily huffs and rolls her eyes.

“Cries and Whispers.”

“In what way could that possibly not be a chick flick?”

“People, seriously, what is a moving?”

“Mov- _ie_ ,” Mary corrects.

“So you know how wizard photos move?”

“Yeah.”

“Like that except for about two hours, and it makes noise.”

“This one is only an hour and forty-six minutes,” Lily chimes in.

“Plus the adverts.”

“It’ll be worth it!”

 

Two hours later…

“How could you not think to tell us this wasn’t real?!” Sirius asks as James guides him to a bench outside the building, tears streaming down his face.

“I thought that was obvious!” Remus defends.

“You said it was like a photo!”

“…Yes that’s my bad, I’m sorry.”

“I liked it.  I mean it was sad but it was just…very emotionally capturing,” Bellatrix says, Peter snorts.

“Yeah that was the worst bit.”

“Hey!  It was sad, and emotional, and beautiful!” Sirius tells him harshly, Lily sits beside him and rubs circles in his back.

“The definition of a chick flick,” Severus replies, James snickers.

“I get it now.”

“I liked it,” Alice tells them as she wipes away her own tears.

“My mum said we could all go back to my place for lunch if you guys want?” Lily offers, Remus thinks she probably didn’t want to ask until she was sure they were serious (XD) about not being dicks, he’s glad they seem to have convinced her.  James looks to Severus for a moment and raises an eyebrow, he hesitates, then nods.

“Sounds like fun.”

 

“How was it?” Laura asks when they enter the room, Sirius still seems to be crying a bit.

“…I think it broke him,” Severus tells her, he pouts.

“Well, you just have no soul apparently…so…so there.”  Mrs Evans smiles and pulls him into a hug.

“It was fun!  Thank you for having us over for lunch,” Bellatrix tells her with a happy but sane smile from where she stands holding Remus’ hand.  Of course, then Lily’s mum looks to Remus.

“Oh my dear, what happened to you?” She asks, Remus freezes up slightly.

“My neighbours cat is vicious…and large…big claws…” James tries to cover, stumbling awkwardly, then he just grins at her.  Everyone just looks at him, he clears his throat, “But yeah, erm, good moving.”  Mary shakes her head at him.

“Do you guys want to go to the park down the road before lunch?” Severus suggests, Lily nods quickly.

“I think Petunia’s there…” Mrs Evans warns, Severus looks at her expectantly, she sighs, “One hour.”  They go.

 

“Hey Pet, isn’t that your freak of a sister?” Emily Parker asks Petunia who sneers, making her way over to Lily and the group with her three friends.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius walks in front of Petunia with an aristocratic smile befitting of the Noble house of Black.

“Petunia, so nice to see you again dear,” He says as he grabs her hand and kisses it on the back, Petunia blushes.

“Hi, what’s your name?” Petunia’s friend Clara asks.

“Sirius Black.”

“That’s an odd name,” She says, frowning, he grins as though he’d been expecting it.

“Well I’m named after the brightest star in the sky, see it’s a tradition in my family going back centuries.  We have a family tree elegantly carved into a wall and painted with gold that tracks my lineage.  At night, you can point out the stars my entire family was named after since the middle ages.”

“Wow, I don’t think I know that much about my family,” She says with a blush.

“My family is a special case, where we come from we were quite a big deal so our history has been carefully recorded.”

“A big deal?”

“Yes, sorry what was your name?”

“Clara.”

“Yes Clara, you stand before the heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black,” He says with a dramatic sweeping bow, the girl blushes.  All of Petunia’s friends seem intrigued by the group now, he even has Petunia’s attention.  Sirius winks at Lily who’s trying not to laugh, “Well, it’s been nice meeting you all but we’re just going to go over there.  Perhaps I’ll see you again sometime?”

“Okay,” Clara says with a blush as the group moves to underneath the tree Sirius had pointed to.

“That was amazing,” Lily says with awe on her face, he shrugs.

“There are some benefits to growing up in my house, you could have helped you know,” Sirius tells Bellatrix who shrugs.

“Doesn’t work as well with me when I don’t have my gown.  Just falls short.”

“You have a gown?” Mary asks her, Bellatrix looks at her confused.

“How else would one attend galas?”

“Not everyone’s events are balls and court dates and such Bella,” James tells her, she seems to understand and blushes.

“Sorry.”

“How’s your sister?” Severus asks her, “Andromeda I mean, I know how Narcissa is.”

“You do?” Sirius asks with surprise, Severus sighs in a long-suffering sort of way.

“Yes, Lucius is quite taken with her,” He explains.

“Now that is something I never want to see,” Alice comments with a shudder.

“From what I hear his parents and hers have decided it’s a good match, so it’s all but official.  Of course, they think that about…um…nothing,.” Severus says, eyes suddenly widening and dropping to his lap, Sirius seems very concerned though the others don’t quite know what’s going on.

“They aren’t going to try to marry Andromeda off to another of the sacred twenty-eight, are they?” Severus looks nervously at him, but shakes his head.  Sirius’ eyes widen as he turns to Bellatrix who squeezes Remus’ hand tightly, Remus looks at her in confusion.

“My parents have decided you aren’t a good match for me, and that marrying Rodolphus Lestrange will strengthen the family,” Bellatrix tells him nervously, his eyes widen as he grabs her other hand as though holding on would prevent them from being separated.

“Th-they can’t _make_ you though, can they?”  Remus looks between Bellatrix and Sirius, Sirius looks down to his lap awkwardly.

“Depends on your definition of make I suppose.  What they _can_ do, is threaten disownment if I don’t fall in line.” He looks at her with worry, “They haven’t yet.  They don’t really think I have the mental capacity to understand such a thing, they think I’m just being weird again and that I’ll do as they say.  But when I don’t, they might become more assertive about this.”  Remus bites his lip, Sirius clears his throat.

“The thing is Moony, if it becomes official, and he proposes, her refusal would bring shame upon the Black family, and it would be a huge embarrassment for the Lestranges. If they disown her after that happens, it won’t help at all unless they can provide a different heir for him to marry.  With Narcissa being persued by Malfoy, their only other option is to offer Andromeda.  If they disown her _before_ it happens, then it would be an embarrassment for the Lestranges to peruse anything with them in regards to marriage, lest it seem they had wanted Bellatrix.”

“I’m so confused.” Bellatrix squeezes his hands, he looks back up at him.

“Basically, either I let this go on, Drom takes things into her own hands and offers herself to the Lestranges, I tell them I won’t do it when talk gets more real, I get disowned, Drom is safe.  Or…” She trails off.

“Or what?”

“Well technically there are two other options, and three possible outcomes from those two options.”

“Either she can run away or get disowned now, and none of it will matter.  Or she can find someone to marry and do so before Rodolphus proposes.  Depending on when this happens and to who, it will either end in her being married to them and embarrassing the Lestranges, or she gets disowned,” Sirius tells him, Lily explodes.

“This is ridiculous!”

“Maybe so, but it’s also serious,” Sirius tells her, he frowns, “No one say it, it’s not the time.” Three mouths close.

“When would he be proposing?  I mean, you’re twelve and he’s what, fourteen?” She nods.

“Not until I’m at least sixteen, otherwise the family is desperate for some reason and my family will refuse them.”

“Then you don’t need to worry about it yet, right?  We have time to work out what to do and how you want to deal with this,” Remus tells her supportively, she frowns for a moment, but then she nods and smiles a bit more.

“Yes, we have time.”

“Well that was adorable,” Marlene comments, everyone laughs a bit, “So, I’m just going to ignore proper social protocols because I have a question and I don’t really care what can of worms it opens, I want an answer.”  No one speaks, waiting for her to speak, “Isn’t there a way to restrain yourself or something so that that doesn’t happen?” Marlene asks, gesturing to Remus’ face, the Marauders freeze.  Remus looks around the group, then shrugs.

“Not really, I break out of everything.”  The other Marauders look at him in surprise, “How long have you known?”

“We suspected for a while but, the claw marks are kind of a big clue,” Alice tells him, he nods grimly, “I doubt it will be so obvious when they heal over and fade a bit more.”

“So wait, the six of you have just been talking about this?” Peter asks, Lily raises her eyebrow.

“Five of us.” Peter counts around the circle, “We…thought Bellatrix would have known when you did,” Lily says with sudden worry.

“We thought she’d know if you all ever found out,” Sirius tells them, they all look to Bellatrix and only then notice the smirk on Remus’ face, “For Merlin’s sake man, how long has she known, Moony?”

“Since the last full moon of the school year,” Bellatrix replies simply.

“My parents are going to kill me,” Remus complains with a groan.

“How much did the nickname Moony give away?” Sirius asks, Mary shakes her head.

“To be honest I didn’t even make that connection until now,” She says before chuckling, “That’s funny though.”

“I TOLD YOU MOONY!  DID I OR DID I NOT TELL YOU!”

“YES, YOU TOLD ME, NOW SHUT UP!” Remus yells back, both boys look at each other for a moment before laughing.  Then Bellatrix gets his attention and gives him a rather significant look, the meaning of which is completely lost on the others.  They seem to debate something back and forth for a moment before Remus bites his lip and looks at the others, then he nods.

“What?” James asks, Bellatrix looks to Remus who nods again.

“When I said I’d known since that full moon, I meant I literally found out while it was up.  See I saw him…go where he needed to go, then he never came back.  I was worried so I followed after him and found…well, a Werewolf,” Bellatrix tells them quietly, Remus grimaces slightly.

“Please tell me you aren’t a werewolf now too,” Sirius groans, “Not because there is anything wrong with Werewolves, but just because you so do not need anything else for the family to doubt you for.”

“I didn’t attack her,” Remus tells him, shutting him up, shutting them all up.

“Why do I get the feeling there is more to that?” James asks, Remus sighs.

“We still aren’t exactly sure what happened but, I spent most of the rest of the night in there with him.  He never attacked, he sniffed at me, nuzzled me, and then it was fine.  I could get as close as I want, pet his head, stroke his back, it didn’t matter.”

“I still think you should have just gotten out of there.”

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” Bellatrix tells him in a way that makes the others think they’ve had this discussion many times before.

“Hold up, hold up,” Sirius tells them, they look to him, “You got nuzzled by a werewolf?”  Remus glares at him, “Does his leg start kicking if you give him a tummy rub?”

“I’m a werewolf not a dog you prick.”  Bellatrix giggles.

“No, but he sort of growls happily when you scratch behind his ear.”

“Traitor,” Remus tells her as he flushes, she grins and pulls him closer, snuggling into his side.

“Damn, I have got to see this,” Sirius tells them.

“Told you,” Remus tells Bellatrix as she rolls her eyes.

“Sirius, you will be eaten.  The only reason I wasn’t is because the wolf decided I’m it’s mate.”

“Well maybe it has more than one mate, I’ve certainly been flirting with him longer!” Sirius tells her, Remus snorts, “Oh bite me,” Sirius replies sharply, Remus looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“I don’t think anybody wants that.” Sirius seems confused before it clicks and he laughs.

“Whoops.”

“Don’t you need to be in wolf form to turn another?” Mary asks curiously.

“Yes, but being bitten or scratched by a werewolf in human form can still give a person lycanthropic tendencies,” Severus replies.

“Such as?” James asks curiously, Severus shrugs.

“A fondness for rare meat.”  The others all look uncomfortable, Remus clears his throat.

“Severus, why do you know so much about Werewolves?”

“It’s a research hobby of mine.  I used to find it really cool and fascinating.  I still think it’s fascinating but now it’s really just sad.  I guess I learnt more than I bargained for.” Remus gives a sad smile.

“Guess I did too.” Severus chuckles slightly.

“Okay, so you know how we needed to know a werewolf to get an answer about what would happen if you put a werewolf on the moon?” Alice asks, they all nod. “Please, I _have_ to know.”

“Right, which is it, cycle or moon?” Severus asks Remus who looks to the ground quickly, not wanting anyone to see his eyes, he clears his throat again.

“Moon.”

“Damn.”

“What?”  Severus, Lily, Mary, Marlene, and Alice all grow extremely uncomfortable.

“Well, while we were talking about you being a werewolf and debating whether or not to bring it up with you…we discussed that a little more in depth and we came to the conclusion that it’s better if it’s the cycle because there are certain vulnerabilities we found the moon could bring.  And if we can find it, others could too.  But we don’t know if any of it would work,” Lily tells him, he looks concerned.

“Write it down, there are things we wanted to check too,” Sirius suggests, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Since when am I a science experiment to satisfy your curiosity?”

“Since Lucius overheard something and told me about it,” Severus tells him, Mary tears up a little, “This Dark Lord everyone’s talking about is trying to recruit Werewolves, a small number are beginning to join up.”  Remus’ eyes go wide.

“Why? They hate wizards and with good reason, why would they join him?”

“Someone named Fenrir Greyback has been convincing people, unsuccessfully so far but…they seem to think it’s only a matter of time.” Remus’ entire demeanour shifts, shifts to something dark and dangerous and…afraid.

“Well you need not worry about that with me.”

“We weren’t anyway, we were worried about someone trying to make you, so we started trying to think of things that could be used against you and stuff,” Marlene tells him, “It’s not like we could’ve gone to a teacher with our concerns.”

“Now that’s a thought.” James says, Remus shakes his head.

“No, she’ll tell Dumbledore.”

“Is that so bad?  I know you hate the man but…”

“No.”

“Then we’re on our own,” Sirius tells them all after a few moments of silence, “Let’s make it work.”


	9. Knowledge is Power

Chapter 9

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

At the train station, the group stood with the Evans, the Potters, the McKinnons, Andromeda, and Regulus Black.

“So is this a thing now?” Sirius asks Andromeda as he gives his brother a piggy back ride.  He runs off in a circle around the large group, Regulus giggling on his back, before he stops back where he was.  Regulus stays on his back.

“Both your parents and mine like not having to be around so many…undesirable types.  Now they don’t have to.”

“How do you keep convincing them to let Regulus come?”

“He’s been a bit…excitable lately, all I did was offer to bring him with me,” She replies, “I have to ask, how are you all getting along _again_?  And how long is this one lasting?”

“We decided that being mean is something mean people do and being a mean person isn’t good.  So, now we’re being nice.”

“Because you’re good people?” Regulus asks Remus, Remus nods, “So if I want to be a good person I just have to do what you guys do?”

“Being a good person is something everyone must decide how they do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look up to people while you decide what it means to be good in your view,” Euphemia tells the boy who concentrates hard for a moment before nodding.

“And now I understand,” Andromeda says, Sirius smiles at her, “Come on Reg, we should get going.”

“Bye Sirius, bye everyone.”

“We’ll see you later Little Marauder,” James tells the kid as he ruffles his hair, Regulus giggles and shakes his head to fix his hair, it doesn’t work.

“We should be off too,” Mr Evans tells them, he hugs his daughter good bye, as does Lily’s mother, and to everyone’s surprise, Petunia does too.

“See you.”

“All right, everyone be on your best behaviour, you’re role models to the first years now, don’t lead them astray,” Euphemia tells the Marauders sternly.

“Yes Mum,” They all chorus, she sighs and shakes her head with a happy smile.

“Don’t forget the thing with the thing for the people,” Monty tells them, they share a conspiratorial smile.

“Oh no…you’ve already planned the year’s opening, haven’t you?” Marlene asks with worry, Sirius smiles innocently.

“Let’s just get on the train,” Severus suggests, they all nod.

“Bye Mum, bye Dad,” James says, hugging his parents.

 

When the lot of them fit themselves into a single compartment, Bellatrix sat on Remus’ lap, Sirius on James’, Alice on Marlene’s, and Lily on Mary’s.

“There had to be a better way to do this,” Sirius complains, Bellatrix giggles.

“I’m comfortable.”  Sirius rolls his eyes when Remus grins at him.

“You can sit on the ground if you want,” James tells him, he just huffs and leans back against the window, putting his feet up on Bellatrix’s lap, Remus rolls his eyes at him.

“So, first meeting tonight?” Lily asks after pulling down the blind on the door window.

“Here’s what’s happening.  For our two Slytherins, we’re entrusting you with something that only us and my dad knows exists.”

“Why does Monty know?” Peter asks.

“Where do you think I got it from?  It’s a family heirloom.”

“Nice to know you were bred to be a sneaky git.”

“Oh shut it Moony.” Lily sighs at the both of them, “You’re going to sneak up to Gryffindor tower, after curfew.  Moony will hear you coming and let you in.”

“How’s he going to hear us coming?” Bellatrix asks.

“He’s a freaking Werewolf dipshit, heightened senses.”

“Don’t call her a dipshit,” Remus tells James with a glare, James holds back the eye roll.

“Sorry Bella, that was uncalled for. We’ll sneak you two into our dorm where we will all be waiting.  We can talk there.”

“Doing this in Gryffindor tower seems very risky,” Alice tells them, James nods.

“We don’t disagree, but there’s no way we get this amount of people elsewhere without getting caught.  Not yet at least, we’re working on it.”

“All right, then we’ll get to work tonight.  How big is the moon going to be?” Mary asks Remus who seems uncomfortable, they’ve learnt that calling attention to it will only make it worse so they pretend not to notice.

“Full moon is in a week so you’re looking at about 50%,” He mumbles, trying to think clinically about it, “I still don’t like this idea.”

“Yes we know, it’s embarrassing, you’ll feel ridiculous, and vulnerable, possibly out of control, or possibly this is all a waste of time.  Regardless, isn’t it better you feel like that around _us_ than someone who seeks to use it against you?” Severus asks him, Remus bites his lip, then sighs and nods.  Sirius smirks, Remus looks over as he catches it out of the corner of his eye.

“What?”

“You’re still cute when you do that.”  Remus blushes furiously.

“So now it’s not just your friend, it’s not just your cousin’s boyfriend who is also your friend, and it’s not just your cousin’s boyfriend who’s also your friend and in front of your cousin.  It’s now, your cousin’s boyfriend who’s also your friend and who has your cousin literally sat on his lap and beneath your feet while you flirt with him,” Peter comments, Sirius winks at him, he rolls his eyes.

“Moving on!” Remus cries desperately.

 

Eventually they arrive at Hogwarts, Remus accidentally knocking into a first year as he exits the train and suddenly there’s a bunch of first years on the ground and a Remus.

“Sorry!” He calls, standing up as quickly as he can and helping everyone up, “Um, the groundskeeper is over there, his name’s Ogg, he’s super nice and he’s going to be taking you to the school.  You should hurry over.”

“Thanks Sir, sorry we were in your way,” One of the kids says as they all rush off.

“I’m a year older than them…why am I already a sir?” Remus asks as he turns and looks at the others who are all trying not to laugh.

“You’re an old soul, and a mess,” James tells him, throwing his arm over Remus’ shoulders.

“Oh sod off you git.” They head over to the carriages and realise they’ll have to separate.

“You know, I think I’ll go over into that carriage. I’ll meet you guys outside the castle,” Alice tells them before running off and getting the last seat in another of the carriages, Lily, Mary, and Marlene all laugh.

“What are we missing?”

“Frank Longbottom.”

“Alice has a crush on him,” Lily reveals as the other two giggle again.

“Why is everyone developing crushes except me?  Is that normal?” Peter asks concerned, Sirius claps him on the back.

“Don’t worry Mate, you’ll get there.  Not everyone can be twelve and practically married like this one,” He says, gesturing behind him at Remus.

“Oh bite me.”

“Kinky.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Now who’s kinky.”

“Will you two quit it?” James requests, “Honestly you two are the most homosexual straight people ever.”  Sirius’ eyes just widen dramatically as he stops walking.

“Oh my god, James, could I be gay?” James facepalms.

“This is not the way I intended this conversation to go.”

“Right, I’m going to go take a different carriage,” Severus decides, getting onto one with some other Slytherins, Bellatrix electing to go with him.  The rest hop onto a carriage, Sirius sitting on James’ lap again.

“But seriously…”

“Sirius, I don’t think you’re gay.”

“Why not?”

“You flirt with every girl you come across, one in particular lately.”

“Sirius Black has a crush?” Lily asks with a teasing smile, she knew they meant Marlene but wanted him to admit it, unfortunately he was busy.

“I’m in the middle of a crisis Lily!” She sighs, Remus rolls his eyes.

“For Merlin’s sake.” He leans forward and snogs Sirius.

“I am so uncomfortable right now,” James whispers from beneath Sirius, then Remus pulls back.

“Well?”  Sirius gulps.

“I am not straight.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t like girls too,” Mary points out, Sirius nods.

“True.”

 

They all meet up outside the castle before walking towards the entrance.

“So Bella, your boyfriend kissed me,” Sirius says casually, Severus, Bellatrix, and Alice all stopping in surprise.

“What did I _miss_?” Alice asks bewildered.

“Sirius was questioning his sexuality, I was just trying to help.”

“I’m not sure he required your help that…passionately.”

“It was not that passionate!”

“Moony, mate, he was on my lap.  I saw more than I wanted to, it was pretty passionate.”

“Says the guy who’s never kissed _anyone_.” James pokes his tongue out at him.

“Wait, you’ve never been kissed?” Lily asks him, James just shuffles awkwardly.

“So, what?”

“No, nothing you just, seem like someone who would have.”  James grins cockily at her.

“You offering, Evans?”  Lily snorts.

“In your dreams, Potter.” She says as she walks away, the group laughing at him as they all move inside.  Severus smirks slightly, for once not seeming angry, though not exactly impressed with the turn of events.  The group continues walking in, entering the castle before Alice says, rather loudly.

“I’m sorry, are we just going to forget the fact that Remy made out with Sirius!?”

“That is not what happened!” Remus insists as they enter the great hall.  Bellatrix giggles manically as Severus leads her over to the Slytherin table, the others going to Gryffindor, Remus swallowing at everyone’s stares.  He’s not sure if it’s from Alice’s loud exclamation, or the scars now on his face, but either way he doesn’t like it.

“Then what _did_ happen?” Alice asks innocently, Remus blushes, ignoring her in favour of food.

The group laugh at his expense, he doesn’t mind.

“What’s their take on us all getting along?” James asks Remus in a whisper as he jerks his head in the direction of the staff table.  Remus brings his hearing forwards, wincing slightly before he channels it in their direction and blocks the rest out.

“-ake it last.”

“Well you never know Horace, maybe the majority of our problems have been solved somehow.”

“I imagine Mr Lupin and Miss Evans had something to do with it, wouldn’t you say Minerva?”

“I think the others may surprise you.” Remus grins at James.

“What?”

“Nothing much, Professor McGonagall has more faith in the group than Slughorn.  Though he seems to like Lily and I.” James scoffs.

“But I’m good at potions!”

“Yes, you’re just a terrible student to attempt to teach.”

“Oh Albus, I know you’re concerned but really, things seem to have settled down again.”

“My concern is less about the group as a whole, Minerva, I merely worry about the inclusion of Mr Snape and Miss Black.”

“No Albus, you worry about Miss Black and Mr Lupin.”

“Can you blame me?”

“If there is one thing I have learnt in the last year, it is that Remus Lupin can look after himself.  Well, that and if something strange is occurring, Mr Potter and Mr Black probably have something to do with it.  Besides, Bellatrix seems like a nice girl if you’ll only look past her family.  Look at the person Andromeda has grown up to be.”

“Bellatrix is not her sister.”

“And nor is she her parents, have a bit of faith Albus.  I’m quite certain this group will be of good to her.”

“We shall see.”  Remus let’s his hearing drop into the back ground as Sirius grabs his arm from across the table.

“What?” Sirius looks from his to his hand and he realises he’d finished cutting the potato and was now just sawing aggressively into the plate below.

“Let’s not break another, yeah?”  Remus swallows and nods.

“What did they say?” James asks him to the confusion of the others who are now paying attention, Remus scowls.

“Dumbledore,” He says, a rather obvious growl in his voice.

“I still don’t understand why you hate him so much.” Mary tells him, he sighs, attempting to breathe out his anger.

“Can we talk about this later?” Mary frowns.

“Tonight then.”  Remus nods.

“Tonight.”

 

Hours later, at midnight, the Gryffindors of the group are all in the Marauder’s dormitory when Remus rather suddenly stands up and leaves the room, returning a few moments later seemingly on his own.  Then the other two take the cloak off, much to the shock of Alice, Marlene, Mary, and Lily.

“I will be questioning this with an intensity you cannot even imagine at some point, but for now, let’s get this done before we all get expelled,” Lily says quietly but ferociously, James smiles smugly.

“All right, now one of the things we’re concerned about is if you might become too entranced by the moon.  Sort of too caught up in whatever it makes you feel that you don’t notice what’s happening around you at all.  Or worse, if that can’t happen on its own but someone can sort of talk you into that state,” Severus tells them quietly as he checks the list they wrote out.

“That should be easy to figure out, Moony, go look at the moon.” Again Remus ducks his head in case his eyes change at all.

“…I don’t want to.” Everyone sighs, this wasn’t going to be easy.  They really wanted to be patient and kind with him but the older he got the more dangerous it was for him with the war going on, they needed these years at Hogwarts to figure out not only what vulnerabilities he may have, but also how to deal with them.

“Let’s start there then.  Why not?” Severus asks as he takes a seat on James’ bed, across from Remus’ where he sits.  Everyone takes the hint and sits on one of those two beds or the floor in between.  Bellatrix sitting between Remus’ legs, facing Severus but leaning her head against Remus’ knee so that she could still see him, his hand in her hair as hers squeezes his other knee comfortingly.

“Because it’s embarrassing.” Everyone seems surprised and confused by this answer.

“How so?”

“I-It’s…intense.  I don’t know how to explain it, it’s just like this pull towards the moon.  One that calms me in a way I don’t think any non-werewolf could understand.  But I both fear and hate the moon and it shouldn’t make me feel like that and losing myself like that it’s…it’s not something I like thinking about or acknowledging, let alone have other people see it.”  Everyone is silent for a moment before Bellatrix sits on her feet and turns to face Remus, grabbing both of his hands and looking him in the eyes.

“I know it isn’t easy Remy, but there is a war on and they could make you play a part in it you don’t want to.”  Remus thinks of everything that’s happened with Dumbledore and clenches his jaw.

“What?”

“He’s just thought of the Headmaster,” Sirius replies before Remus can, Remus glares at him, he shrugs, “That’s your ‘I’m remembering my mysterious reason for hating the man’ face.”

“We’ll talk about that later.  Remy, please, go sit at the window and look at the moon.  We aren’t here to judge you or watch you do this, we’re here to be with you and support you as you do,” Bellatrix asks him, he looks at her again, sighs and drops his forehead to hers.

“Fine.”  Remus gets up and walks over to the window seat, not looking out of the window yet, he turns back to the others awkwardly as he bites his lip.  Sirius moves to sit on one end of the seat, Bellatrix moving to the floor beside it as the others all move closer, being with him instead of observing as promised.  Remus takes a deep breath as he sits and looks out at the sky, instantly finding the moon.  The others can see the way the tensions seems to drain from his body as he leans back against the wall, pupils dilating more than they had the day in the Marauder’s Lair.

“Remy?” Severus asks softly, Remus blinks before turning to look at him.

“Yes?”  Severus hums thoughtfully.

“Okay, look at it, keep looking at it while I talk.” Severus takes note of the fact that even though he hadn’t been looking at the moon, he was still far quicker to comply than he had been before, “Now, Remy, can you hear me?”

“Yes Severus,” Remus says in a way that the others think was him attempting to be snarky about it but it was drained out before he got the feeling into the words. Severus takes note of that too.

“Okay I’m going to ask you some questions that you won’t want to answer just so that I can see how cognisant you are.” Remus doesn’t respond, staring at the moon that they can see reflected in his eyes, “Remus did you hear me?”

“Yep.” Severus raises an eyebrow at Sirius who shrugs, Severus notes it down and continues on.

“All right, how old were you when you became a werewolf?”

“Four,” He answers, his face pinching slightly, Severus makes a note.

“Who here have you told about that?”

“Just Peter, James, and Sirius.”

“Why was my name last on the list?” Sirius complains before he can help himself, Remus breaks eye contact with the moon to look at Sirius, looking almost high as he smiles.

“I put you in ascending order of annoyance.” Sirius glares at him.

“Just look at the moon.” Remus laughs, closing his eyes for a second before opening them and looking back at the moon, sighing softly.  Severus glares at Sirius even as he notes the entire interaction down.

“All right, how are you feeling right now Remy?” Severus asks, Remus’ eyes bizarrely fill with tears.

“Calm,” He whispers as the tears spill over, Severus frowns.

“Then why are you crying?” Remus frowns, the calmness disappearing but the intensity of his gaze at the moon never wavering.

“A Werewolf is never calm,” He says as quietly as before.

“Why is that?”

“Because it isn’t free.”  Everyone seems confused except Severus who’s eyes light up in sudden understanding.

“ _Oh_ ,” He comments, staring at Remus in wonder, almost awe.

“What?” Sirius asks Severus, attempting to keep his voice calm and soft as Severus’ had been.  Severus smiles slightly as he looks to Sirius.

“A Werewolf is never calm.”

“Yes, that’s what he said.”

“He didn’t mean the human form, he meant the wolf.  See the mind of the wolf is always present for him, just not in control.  It isn’t free and by the sounds of things it doesn’t like that.  Remus hates the moon because of what it represents to him, but to the wolf inside, it represents freedom hence the feeling of calm. He’s crying from relief because for once outside of a full moon, and maybe even in it, the wolf is calm.”  He starts writing furiously, ideas presenting themselves in his mind in no particular order of ways this could be utilised, “All right, next question.  Who bit you?”  Remus’ face answers the question, the same dark, dangerous, and sad look over taking it that they had seen once before.

“Fenrir Greyback.”

“How do you feel?”

“Angry Severus, I feel angry.” Severus merely takes note of it, and of the growl clear in Remus’ voice.

“I think we’ll leave this line of questioning for when we’re better set up.  Let the anger go Remus,” Severus tells him softly, unsurprised but disappointed to see the anger simply drain away from the boy, leaving only he and the moon.

“Remy, what’s your happiest memory?”  Remus is quiet for a moment before he smiles.

“When we got back here after we broke into the restricted section.”

“That was you?!” Lily whisper yells as every non-marauder save for Severus laughs quietly.

“Lily, be quiet, we’re getting somewhere,” Severus tells her distractedly as he focuses on Remus, Lily does not look impressed at his complete dismissal of her, but goes quiet.

“Why is that your happiest memory?  You literally had nightmares about what we found down there, we both did,” Sirius asks bewildered, Severus glares at him but does look interested.

“Because we made it back.” Severus seems confused, as do others.  But Marlene, and the other Marauders understood.

“It’s the wave of euphoria that gets you after you get away with something that intense,” Marlene explains with a grin shared by the other three.

“Okay, what about saddest.  What’s your saddest memory?”

“The day after my first full moon.”

“What happened?”

“They afraid of me. I was five and they were afraid of me, _she_ was afraid of me.  I…I did something bad and when she looked at me, she only saw a monster,” Remus says, crying for another reason, the others mistakenly believe he means his Mother.

“Let the sadness go now Remus,” Severus tells him, Remus shakes his head as he starts crying more.

“I can’t.”  Everyone looks to Severus for direction, but he gestures for them to stay still.

“Remus, calm down,” He tells the boy calmly, it takes a moment, but Remus calms.  The tears finish falling and lay forgotten on his face as he slumps against the wall and the window, staring at the moon as if it were a lifeline to this calmness so sought after.  Severus notes it all down, “Tell me about James Potter.” Remus chuckles.

“I don’t know whether to be offended or flattered,” James mutters.

“Flattered,” Remus says, James’ eyes widen at getting a response.

“Go on,” Severus tells him.

“He’s one of the best friends I ever had, and if he hadn’t insisted on talking to me, if he hadn’t called me over to his boat, I doubt I’d have friends at all. Except Emmeline, but that’s different, I’ve known her for years.”  The others look surprised, none had known he and Emmeline Vance had even spoken before.

“What else?”

“He’s a good person.  He’s privileged and arrogant and sometimes just has no idea, but he tries so hard to be nice and good that it’s easy to see past and just accept it all as part of who he is.” James tilts his head to the side but nods.

“I can live with that,” He says, Lily shakes her head at him as Severus rolls his eyes.

“What do you think of Albus Dumbledore?”  The effect is immediate, the growl that emanates from his throat and the feral look in his eyes, no longer glazed by the moon.

“I think that he’s a manipulative git, who needs to _back. Off._ ” Remus says, Sirius can’t help but gulp slightly, being the person with the clearest view of Remus’ face.

“What…”

“Wait, he doesn’t want us to know,” Alice tells him, Severus nods calmly.

“I know, that’s why I need to ask.  We need to know how likely he is to give information away that he doesn’t want to while in this state.”  Alice sighs but allows him to continue, “What did Dumbledore do to you?”  Tension radiates from Remus’ body, something weird that Sirius has never seen before coming over his eyes.

“Nothing.” The word coming out of his mouth but Sirius isn’t sure he’s even really aware anymore, all Sirius knows for sure is that this has gone far enough.

“Moony?” Sirius asks as he reaches forward, placing a hand on his arm.  It happens quickly, Remus looking away from the window and to him, the animalistic rage on his face causing Sirius to back up on the seat so quickly he bangs his head on the wall behind him.  Remus growls at him and Sirius knows, he _knows_ this isn’t Remus. 

They’ve inadvertently awakened the wolf.

“Remus?” Sirius asks in a frightened whisper, unable to tear his eyes away long enough to see if the others have realised.  Remus moves, standing up quickly, looking completely different than how he should despite his only physical change being his eyes.

“Remy?” Bellatrix asks, moving to stand in front of him, reaching a hand out to his cheek.  He seems confused by the action, sniffing slightly before he nuzzles into the hand, “Sirius, move back with the others,” She tells him without moving her eyes from her boyfriend’s.  It’s then that Sirius sees everyone standing by the door, he gets up, moving as slowly as possible, freezing when Remus turns to him, growling.  Sirius’ mind works quickly, trying to think of what to do or say or how quickly he can possibly run.  All that goes through his head is Bellatrix talking about being Remus’ mate. _Think in wolf terms._

“Wait, Remy please, we’re friends, family even.  You adopted my brother, remember?” Sirius asks, the Werewolf doesn’t respond, sneering at him as he growls and continues advancing, blocking Sirius’ exit. “We’re your…pack.”  The wolf stops, “We’re your pack, we live as one.  You don’t want to hurt me Remus.  I know you don’t,” Sirius reasons, the wolf walks forward, but Sirius doesn’t feel threatened, holding a hand out to stop Bellatrix interfering.  Remus sniffs at him, then he makes some sort of questioning whimper that melts Sirius’ heart because it’s simply the most adorable thing he’s ever heard.  Tears fill his eyes as he smiles, no longer afraid.  Now he understands, “That’s right, I won’t hurt you Remus,” Sirius says, reaching out a hand slowly.  Sirius can see the others out the corner of his eye and knows they are confused, but Sirius knows what he’s doing, “I understand now Moony, I know what you are.  Now you need to know what we are.”  His hand reaches his friend’s head, Remus leans into it.  Sirius sits slowly on the ground, gesturing for Remus to join him.  He does so, Sirius petting his hair lightly.  The little wolf before him nuzzles into his hand as he yawns,  “Lay down little one.  You’re safe here.”  Remus doesn’t understand him so he makes gestures and pushes lightly until the boy curls up on the ground with his head on Sirius’ lap and Sirius running his hand through his hair.  Not long later, he falls asleep, Sirius smiling down at the beautiful creature that so many fear.

_He deserves better_

 

“What just happened?” Lily asks from where she is hiding behind Severus who has his hands out as though trying to bracket her behind him to protect her, James in front of them both in a protective stance with his wand out.  Sirius looks at them, happiness and laughter clear on his face.

“He was confused, he doesn’t know any better.  He was afraid and everyone reacts with fear.  But he’s a child, he’s just a pup.  He needs to be looked after and taught just like his human half does.  He was trying to protect himself because he didn’t know he was safe.  He needs guidance, I don’t think he remembers Remus’ life as Remy does the wolf.  He doesn’t understand the world around him.  Only that Bellatrix loves him and he her, and that I won’t harm him.”  Everyone’s silent for a few moments, Severus making more notes.

“So…have we adopted a werewolf pup now?” James asks him as he puts his wand away and everyone relaxes.

“Well we’ll have to introduce you all individually at some point but…he needs someone or he’ll end up like all the others who have only ever known hatred and fear,” He tells them, “Like I would have ended up just like my parents if Remus hadn’t convinced me I was _already_ different.”  James sighs but nods.

“He’s your responsibility.” Sirius glares at him as James breaks out into a grin.

“Perhaps we should introduce ourselves in the same way Sirius did rather than on a full moon when he has the body of a werewolf to back him up,” Severus muses, the others agree, “For now I think Bella and I should head back and the girls head to bed.  Best he not wake up feeling threatened in case it isn’t quite _him_ that wakes up.”

“What do we do if it _isn_ _’_ _t_ him?” Peter asks, “I mean what if we just trapped Remus in the mind of the wolf forever?”

“We’ll work it out then Pete,” Sirius tells him, they all leave save for the Marauders who decide to remain on the floor around Remus for the rest of the night, not that Sirius had much of an option with the young wolf asleep on him.

 

“Remus?” Remus feels a hand stroking through his hair and leans into it slightly.

“I’m not sure that’s a good sign,” Another voice says, Remus frowns, he knows these voices.  Remus opens his eyes slightly and sees James and Peter watching him, he blinks against the light as he hears James sigh in relief, “It’s him.”  Remus looks up to see who he’s talking to and sees it’s the owner of the hand, Sirius.  Remus decides it’s too hard to deal with this and turns his head back, closing his eyes and leaning into the hand again, Sirius chuckles.

“Remy, we gotta get up and go to breakfast.” Remus groans as he scrunches his face up at that idea.

“Okay that was adorable.”

“Remus, come on, up time.” Remus whines, “Nope, up.” Remus groans but starts getting up, Sirius chuckling at him again as he sits up, stretching with a level of grace they’ve never seen in him before.  Remus opens his eyes to find all three frowning at him.  He tilts his head to the side in question as he blinks, “Remus?”  He makes an affirmative sort of noise, but that only worries them more, “Going to need a verbal response there buddy.” Now Remus frowns, mostly trying to think of the words he needs.

“What’s…wrong?” He asks slowly, the three instantly sagging in relief, a grin breaking out across Sirius’ face.

“We’ll explain after breakfast, it’s been a long night and I need the sugar provided in juice.”  Remus shrugs and gets up in one long and languid movement.  All four get up and dressed before they head downstairs, the last to leave the tower.

 

When they get to breakfast they take seats on the Gryffindor table, Remus immediately grabbing food in front of him, barely even checking what that food is before he starts eating.

“He’s fine…mostly,” He hears Sirius say to someone, he doesn’t check who. 

A while later he feels a hand on his arm, looking over he finds Lily smiling kindly at him.

“How do you feel Remus?” He blinks, tilting his head to the side in confusion as he finishes his mouthful, wiping his mouth before responding.

“Tired.  And hungry,” He replies, “How do…you…feel?” He asks slowly as he picks his words.  She smiles again, still kind but also relieved yet worried.

“I’m fine thank you.” He takes that as the end of the conversation and continues eating, “Okay somehow that was completely adorable.”

“We’ve been thinking that all morning but don’t know what it is yet.”

After a while, Remus finishes eating and sits back in his chair, taking in his surroundings for the first time.  He blinks a few times before a frown slowly descends on his face.

“Remy?” Marlene asks, Remus turns to her, “What’s wrong?”  He gapes at her.

“What’s wrong?  What’s right?!” He asks quiet but fierce, the others look at him confused, “Am I the only one who remembers what happened?  For Merlin’s sake!”

“To be honest Remy, we really weren’t sure _you_ remembered until right now,” James tells him, he seems surprised, “Think back over this morning Remus, does anything seem off?” Remus does so and then shrugs.

“I was a little slow to wake up?”

“Guys, we’ll talk about it later.  You seem okay now so let’s just get through class and we’ll meet under the tree at break,” Sirius tells them, Remus scoffs at him.

“You say that like we don’t have classes together until then.”

“All right, whatever, I just mean we’ll talk about it then.”

“Fine,” Remus replies exasperatedly, Sirius just looks confused but Remus has stopped caring.

 

Their first lesson is transfiguration, they were all looking forward to it, but now most were concerned.  Remus wasn’t, Remus had taken Bellatrix by the hand outside of the hall and lead her in the wrong direction.  Naturally the others had followed to find Remus snogging her in the empty hallway, Bellatrix pushes him away.

“Remy what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” He asks confused as he plays with a piece of her hair, the others step closer and Bellatrix looks relieved.

“Remy?” Sirius asks when the group turns to him to take the lead.

“Hmm?” Remus responds disinterestedly.

“We have to go to class.”

“It can wait,” He says moving to kiss Bellatrix again, she leans back, putting a hand in between them.

“No it can’t.”

“But I missed you Trixie!” He insists, she sighs, placing her hand on his chest.

“I missed you too, but we’ve got to get to class.”  He sighs looking unhappy, but he steps away.

“Fine,” He says with slumped shoulders as he takes her hand to keep her close to him, everyone exchanges worried looks, “What?  You all wanted to get to class so bad, let’s go!” Remus tells them sounding extremely annoyed as he rolls his eyes and takes off towards the classroom, Bellatrix being tugged along, everyone moving to catch up.

 

When they finally make it to class, they enter last.  Remus had dropped Bellatrix’s arm halfway to the classroom, instead stopping to look at every second painting on the wall before being pushed forwards by one of them.  Now he just walks in and takes a seat as if he doesn’t have a care in the world and is behaving perfectly naturally.

“And why are you all late?” Professor McGonagall asks, Sirius steps forward to deal with it as the others all move to take a seat in the back with Remus.

“Well Minnie, you see what _happened_ was…”

“Just take a seat,” She tells him, he grins.

“Yes Ma’am,” He says with a salute before he takes his seat, sitting down a tad louder than necessary when he sees Remy doodling on his page, “Sorry,” He says, but Remus has snapped back to the classroom and so he’s not really.

“Now, as I was saying, today we are turning animals into water goblets.  You’re to point your wand to the animal in question, tap it three times, and say vera verto.”  Everyone get’s their wands out, but Remus raises his hand, the others freeze before exchanging worried looks as McGonagall sees it.

“Yes, Mr Lupin?”

“How do we turn them back afterwards?”  She seems confused, “I just don’t want to turn an animal into _anything_ unless I know there’s a way to turn them back.” She sighs but nods.

“I will be teaching the class that after you’ve succeeded in this.  If someone should fail to do it correctly I will turn the animal back myself, you have my word.”  He nods.

“Okay.”  He pulls his wand out and completely ignores McGonagall as though they hadn’t spoken, she frowns but after catching sight of Sirius’ innocent smile, decides she doesn’t want to know until she has to and walks off.

Remus just ends up dragging the tip of his wand across the desk and lazily following it with his eyes.  The others do their work, Sirius getting it immediately as he always does with Transfig and Defence Against the Dark Arts, often charms too.  Really, it’s just potions that he struggles with, in herbology and history of magic he’s the same as everyone else.

“Remy?” Peter asks ten minutes later when Remus still hasn’t done anything, he makes a questioning noise that sort of more just acknowledges that the boy has spoken rather than showing he’s actually been listening, “Could you help me with this?”

“Sure thing Pete.” Remus gets up and walks over to Peter, bringing the mouse he’s got with him and placing it next to Peter’s toad.  Remus taps it three times, “Vera Verto.” And it works perfectly. 

“How did you _do_ that?” Sure, Peter had only asked for help because he’d been trying to get Remus to engage in something, but now he was _impressed_. Remus shrugs.

“It’s just like with the match and the needle, so for you, just imagine there is a water goblet there, imagine the toad already _is_ a water goblet.”  Peter clears his throat and does so, it works. Remus tilts his head to the side questioningly, “You didn’t need my help did you?” Peter flushes slightly.

“What did you mean when you said ‘for me’.  Doesn’t everyone do the same thing?” Peter asks, side-stepping the question, Remus seems to have already forgotten he’d asked.

“Of course not.  Everyone does things differently, even when doing the same thing.  It’s the thought process that changes, so in magic, which is largely thought controlled, what works for one will not work for another.  In transfiguration you seem to need to imagine it already done, whereas I imagine the change it under goes and feel it happen along with whatever I’m transfiguring,” Remus explains, Peter looks thoughtful at the words.

“An astute observation Mr Lupin, and well put.  Ten points to Gryffindor.”

“Thank you, Professor,” Remus says with a proud smile, McGonagall seems happy with that, probably because it’s the first time in a year she’s given him points and he hasn’t given her reasons why he hasn’t really earned them.  In fact he seems to believe he did, which is true, but odd.

 

After that lesson is History of Magic, Remus doesn’t take to the separation from Bellatrix well.

“No, Remy, you have to go the _other_ way,” Bellatrix tells him sternly as the others stand back and laugh, they had time to do this for _at least_ a full minute before they needed to intervene.

“But I don’t _want_ to go the other way,” Remus replies, crossing his arms over his chest, Bellatrix glares at him.

“Remus John Lupin you will go to your History of Magic class or so help me _god_ I will tell your mother, and his, that you kissed Sirius!” Bellatrix threatens, pointing to James at the appropriate moment, the others chuckle at that before Sirius groans.

“But I was going to do that anywayyyyy, well, maybe not to Hope…no yes to Hope.”

“All right then, I’ll tell Reg.” Everyone backs up a step, Bellatrix raises an eyebrow at her boyfriend who huffs.

“Fine then,” He mutters, stomping off in the other direction, Bellatrix sighs and she drops her head into her hands, carefully being sure she doesn’t drop the books she’s holding.

“Okay, tree at break?” She double checks, the others nod, “Keep an eye on him.”

 

History of magic was…interesting.  It had started with Remus not paying any attention and losing them five points, it ended with Remus arguing with the Professor Binns over historical fact, losing them ten points, he then stomps out of the classroom, losing them fifteen.  He goes to the library, borrows a book, finds the page he wants as he stalks back to class, opens it in front of the Professor and points to exactly what he was saying.

“All right, it appears you may have been correct after all.”

“Don’t suppose I can get those points back then?” Professor Binns glares at him as all the Gryffindors in the room groan.

“Ten points from Gryffindor, and get out of my classroom.”

“Well it’s not like we’re learning anything correctly here anyway,” Remus mutters as he grabs his stuff and leaves again.

“Damn but I hope he either goes to find Bella or goes straight to the tree,” Alice tells them with a grimace.

“Am I going to continue having trouble with Gryffindors today?” Professor Binns asks, looking at Alice who freezes up but shakes her head.

“No Professor,” Alice internally thanks Merlin that there’s only five minutes left of class.

 

They head straight to the tree by the lake when they get out of class, they find Remus stroking the tentacle of the giant squid.

“Remy?” Bellatrix calls, the group had caught her and Severus up on events while they walked down having met them at the door of the castle.

“Hey Trixie,” Remus calls happily, “Bye,” He says to the water before rushing over, picking Bellatrix up and spinning her around making her squeal before putting her back down and holding her close, she laughs in surprise for a moment.

“Okay what is going on?!” Lily asks, throwing her bag onto the ground in frustration, “First you’re all weird and then you’re fine and now you’re jumping between things so quick and you’re just being unpredictably damn weird and IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE, OH MY _GOD_ REMUS, TELL ME, PLEASE, BECAUSE FOR GOD’S SAKE I AM SO SCARED WE’VE COMPLETELY BROKEN YOU AND YOU’VE LOST THE PLOT SOMEHOW!” She all but screams, Remus stares at her in shock.

“Um…sorry.”

“You-what?” Lily asks, that was not at all what she was expecting, Remus shuffles from foot to foot awkwardly.

“I just, um…I’m not use to it yet, I guess, and things are…weird.  I-I’ll-I’ll work on it, I swear,” He tells her, still fidgeting.

“Remus, we aren’t mad, we just want to understand what’s happening,” James tells him calmly, he takes a deep breath.

“Right, um.  Why don’t we sit down?”  They all sit exactly where they were, “Here works I guess,” He says, joining them, “I suppose I should start with telling you I remember everything that happened last night, sorry about scaring everyone,” He says the last part while biting his lip.

“Don’t worry about it, we didn’t understand what was going on, that’s not your fault,” Mary tells him, he smiles shyly.

“So, umm, see the things is, I’m calmer now.  Or…I guess it’s not that it’s just…” He bites his lip again, “Okay so, it’s like my brain was in two halves, kind of, but they were warring.  One wanting to get control because it was afraid for itself, the other afraid for everyone else.  Only now, the wolf knows it’s safe when Sirius and Bellatrix are around, and I know who and what it is.  We both know what we’re dealing with so there’s no fear anymore.  Not as much anyway.  But I guess I didn’t realise how much I was blocking myself off from other things by doing this, now the two halves of me are more…harmonised I guess, sort of just happy to co-exist peacefully and everything I wasn’t feeling is just flooding through and I don’t remember how to deal with it. That and I’m feeling the wolf’s instincts more strongly now.”  The others digest that before Lily launches herself forward, hugging him.

“I WAS SO DAMN SCARED WE LOST YOU AND THIS WAS A GOOD THING THE ENTIRE TIME?!  COULD YOU NOT HAVE MENTIONED THIS EARLIER?!” She demands, her voice a mix of anger, relief, and happiness.

“I didn’t even really realise I was behaving differently.  I still don’t really see that I’m acting weirdly thinking back on the day, but I guess you guys would know better than me right now so…” Bellatrix drops her forehead on his shoulder in relief, “What did I _do,_ specifically, that was so off?”

“Well it started when you woke up and decided having Sirius stroke your hair was more important than anything.  Then there was breakfast in which you ate everything within reach and responded only when someone specifically got your attention.  Then we had to drag you to class, any of this ringing any bells?”

“Yes, I remember the day Sirius, it just seems normal to me.”

“Have you ever in your life behaved this way?” Remus opens his mouth to reply, but then he closes it, “I realise it might seem perfectly natural at the time, but you’re being weird and people are noticing, people other than us.  That could be bad Remy.”

“Why are you doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Calling me Remy now.”

“Because we adopted Moony and I mentally separated the two of you.  Now that I’m going to be interacting with both sides of you, and we’d all be talking about it, I figured we should know which we are talking about.”

“That makes sense I guess.”

“Okay, now that we all know what’s happening, we can deal with it.  Remy, just, stop arguing with us until you get back on even footing, okay?  You’ve already lost Gryffindor forty points in one lesson,” Alice tells him sternly, he looks annoyed at the comment but says nothing.

“Great, can we talk about last night now?” James asks, “Because I have been tripping out about it all day.”

“It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to happen,” Remus mutters, most nod, Severus doesn’t.

“It all went pretty much as I expected.  I theorised about bringing out the wolf though it wasn’t something I planned on testing last night.  I also didn’t expect anything of what happened after that.  But we learnt many things last night, most interesting, not all are good.  First and foremost, you’re a lot more likely to answer questions when in that state.  If Moony hadn’t taken over, I’ve little doubt you would have answered the question.”

“Good thing I’m not actually in this damn war and therefore know nothing of value.”

“Don’t you?  I mean, you know more about Dumbledore than a lot of the people following him do I’d bet.  Surely that alone could be used somehow, you know about Werewolves joining whatever-his-name-is.  Now you know that it’s possible to tame a Werewolf, that’s not information we want getting out.  To be honest, how you all live now is probably better than what would happen should someone like him do what Sirius did.  Plus, you have ins with two branches of the Black family, and with Slytherin house which opens up doorways like getting information that Lucius Malfoy overheard.  Plus, a whole bunch of people are still afraid of getting on your bad side.  Being a Werewolf makes you valuable in many people eyes, getting _any_ kind of control or influence over you would be worth a lot I’m sure,” Lily tells him, he just sort of blinks at her.

“Well besides that.” She sighs at him, “He’s not going to be paying attention to a school boy, Lily!”

“Remy, more than that, who knows how far this could go.  What if they can get partial control of you in that trance-like state, what if they learn to recreate it in other circumstances.  We need to know,” Bellatrix tells him, he groans and buries his face in her hair.

“I don’t love the idea of you guys having control over me either you know.”

“Who’s the better option, us, or Dumbledore and he-who-must-not-be-named getting a crack at it?” Severus asks, Remus sits up and glares at him but doesn’t argue.  Bellatrix squeezes his hand, smiling at him when he looks over, he smiles back.  He kisses her sweetly for a moment too long, Sirius grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him back.

“Hey!”

“Behaving normally Remus.”

“What, I can’t kiss my girlfriend?”

“Very rarely, not like that, and generally not in front of other people,” Sirius tells him, Remus glares at him icily. “Oh calm down, I’m doing this for _your_ sake.”

“Really?  Because it seems like all you guys care about is what other people think and me losing us the damn house cup!”

“Remy calm down,” James tells him off-handedly, this has the opposite effect from what he was aiming at.  The others realise this, Lily glaring at James while Bellatrix kisses Remus again to distract him.  The two kiss for a bit before she pulls back.

“Better?” She asks, he grins at her, leaning his forehead against hers.

“Much.”


	10. Experiments

Chapter 10

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

“Okay, let’s forget about everything else for a while and work on our next prank,” Sirius suggests when they get to lunch that day, before they even sit down though, McGonagall reaches them.

“Mr Lupin, the Headmaster would like to see you, if you please.”

“Do I have a choice?” Sirius kicks his shin, “Of course Professor, I’ll head right on over!” He says with false cheer, Sirius sighs as Remus leaves, heading to Dumbledore’s office.

“Would one of you care to explain why one of my best students lost forty points within the last half an hour of a lesson, and seems to be behaving increasingly erratically?” Professor McGonagall asks them, they exchange looks.

“He didn’t…sleep well last night,” James eventually says as Peter tucks into his food with increased vigour, Sirius smiling innocently at her.

“Then I suggest he have an early night,” She replies unhappily.

“Yes Professor.”  She begins to walk off.

“Professor?” Sirius says, catching her attention before he actually gets up and walks the few steps to her, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you, erm.  I just wanted you to know that, us Marauders, we know about Remus’…furry little problem.” He gives her a significant look but is unsurprised when her face gives nothing away, “Hope and Lyall know that we know but, um, we were hoping you’d…not mention it to Professor Dumbledore.”  She raises an eyebrow, “It’s…a little complicated.  We just wanted you to know in case something happens,” He says, he nods at her and then returns to his seat, she turns and walks to hers.

 

“You wanted to see me Professor?”  Remus looks up at Dumbledore’s desk and sees two people sat at it with him, “Oh, my apologies, I’ll wait outside.”

“There’s no need, please, come in my boy.” Remus instantly goes on high alert, he thinks the couple notice this, but if anything, they seem impressed, “This is Druella and Cygnus Black.”  Remus bows formally.

“It’s an honour to meet anyone of such high stature My Lord, Milady,” He says as he rises, the two seem pleased, even more pleased when they see Dumbledore unhappy.

“This is Remus Lupin, the half-blood your youngest daughter seems to have taken to quite strongly,” Dumbledore informs them, they look him over, clearly unsure what to think now but distaste is clear on their faces.

“Must you sir?  You know how I feel about my blood status,” Remus says, all but hanging his head in shame, Dumbledore look as though he’s recalculating his position as the couple grow more intrigued.

“And what, pray tell, _are_ your feelings on that?” Cygnus Black asks shortly, Remus stands tall though deliberately still appears shamed.

“Well it’s embarrassing.  To bring Muggles into wizarding society is dangerous, and now I’m weaker than I could have been.  All I can do is hope to have children with a pureblood and try to clean my family line as much as possible,” He replies, appearing completely genuine.

“And I’m to understand you plan to do this with our daughter?” Cygnus asks him, Remus smiles slightly.

“Not necessarily My Lord.” Cygnus raises an eyebrow, “Regardless of what happens with your daughter, having any sort of relationship with one such as her will only serve to help me in the future.  So whilst I care deeply about Bellatrix, I do not necessarily _need_ to marry her to save my descendants further shame.”

“But if you could, would you?”

“Oh yes, My Lord.”

“How can you be so sure?  You are only twelve, are you not?”

“Yes Milady, but, if I may be candid, I love your daughter.  I would spend the rest of my life with her if I were permitted, but I know a person of my status is unworthy of her.”

“You seem to be a rather level-headed young half-blood,” Druella tells him, “Tell me boy, what are your thoughts on he-who-must-not-be-named?”  Remus ducks his head slightly.

“I’m not sure you’d like to hear that Milady.”

“And why not?”

“No one ever seems to appreciate my opinion on the matter.” Dumbledore’s beginning to think he’s underestimated this child.

“Tell us anyway,” Cygnus orders, though not unkindly.  Remus bows again.

“Yes, My Lord.” Cygnus seems to appreciate this response, “I admire him Sir.”  All three adults seem surprised, “He’s been fighting for what he believed was right, no matter what, for years.  Not many people would go to such lengths for their cause, and I admire the dedication and tenacity he shows.”

“This has been an enlightening conversation, I expect we shall be seeing you young man.  Good day Albus.”

“Cygnus,” Dumbledore replies, Remus bows to the two again as they leave, they seem impressed with that.  Remus calmly looks into Dumbledore’s eyes after the couple floo away.

“Your move, Old Man.” Then he leaves.

 

“What happened?” Sirius asks when Remus returns and sits down, looking far too controlled.

“One of these days, I’m going to stop caring about things like life, laws, emotion, and morality.  Because one of these days, I’m just going to eat him,” Remus replies, still seeming perfectly in controlled.

“Glad to see you’re getting along better.”

“We told McGonagall that we know about your ‘furry little problem’, as Sirius put it,” James tells him, Remus raises an eyebrow in Sirius’ direction, Sirius shrugs.

“I was trying to be subtle.”

“Your attempt at subtlety makes it sound as though I have a misbehaving rabbit.”

“…we could get you a rabbit,” Sirius replies, Remus rolls his eyes at him before he eats.

 

Next they have potions, Remus manages to gain points that lesson after Sirius explains to Slughorn how Remus has been helping him with potions because he finds it really difficult. And so, by the end of the day, Gryffindor is only twenty-five points behind where it began, given that he also earnt points in transfiguration.

 

By that night, Remus is exhausted and collapses on his bed to sleep as soon as he enters the dormitory.

 

The next morning at breakfast, the mail arrives as usual and Remus receives a package.

“Oh good, my order arrived,” He says happily, Sirius sighs.

“Do you really _need_ more chocolate?” Remus nods.

“Yes, always.”  Then suddenly, from across the room, they hear a voice screeching loudly.

“REMUS JOHN LUPIN!”  Remus looks up in surprise to see his girlfriend fuming and stomping over to him, “EXPLAIN. NOW!” She yells at him as she shoves the letter she’d received at him.  He still has no idea what’s going on, and looks more than a little nervous, but takes the letter from her rage shaking hands and reads it.

_Bellatrix,_

_We wished to inform you that yesterday afternoon we met your half-blood friend._

_He was not at all what we expected, and whilst we do not approve of such a contaminate mix, we underestimated your ability to choose people of character._

_As such, talks with the Lestranges have been put on hold.  He may be a more valuable ally than we had previously given him credit for._

_Cordially,_

_Lord Cygnus Black II and Lady Druella Black_

“WELL?!” For all that he should be quaking in his boots at his girlfriend’s anger, he can’t help the slightly smug smile that spreads across his face.

“Trixie, isn’t this a good thing?” He asks her carefully, if anything, that makes her angrier.

“WHEN DID YOU EVEN SPEAK TO MY PARENTS LET ALONE GAIN THEIR APPROVAL?!”

“Trixie, you’re making a scene, can we talk about this outside?” She glares even more intensely, “I suppose not.  They were in Dumbledore’s office yesterday, I don’t know why.  We spoke briefly before they left, that’s all.”

“And when exactly were you going to tell me about this?” She demands, he grimaces slightly, “Remus?”

“To be perfectly honest, it hadn’t actually occurred to me to do so,” He says, bracing himself for the reaction.  She turns and heads back to her table, pointedly ignoring him as she aggressively eats.  He sighs, turning back to his own table and finding everyone staring at him, unsurprisingly.  Yet all he manages to do is see Dumbledore’s hard expression, he nods slightly at him as he radiates smugness, the Headmaster seems to fume while his composure barely even cracks.

“Well that was interesting,” James comments after a while, Sirius snatches the letter out of Remus’ hands and reads it.

“They don’t even approve of _me_ this much,” Sirius tells him in confusion, “What did you say to them?”  Remus scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

“Nothing exactly untrue…not sure that’s actually comforting but…well anyway,” He trails off, he looks over at Slytherin but Bellatrix is still staring angrily at her plate, “Something tells me chocolate isn’t going to fix things this time.”  Marlene claps him on the back in sympathy.

“Nope.”

 

Bellatrix doesn’t speak to him during PE, then he has charms and she has History of Magic, then they all go to the tree for break again.

“Remus,” Bellatrix says when she gets there, he stands up, brushing his hands off awkwardly, “Let’s take a walk.”

“I’m guessing you want to know what happened?”

“You guessed correctly.” He sighs, the two walking some distance away now.

“Then we’re going to have to go back to the middle of last year.”  She eyes him sceptically but doesn’t interrupt, “When Dumbledore called me into his office, when you waited outside, he suggested I end things with you, said because of your family and because of what I am and all this kind of thing and stuff, that it was a bad match.  He also hinted at bad stuff happening were your family ever to find out what I am.” She doesn’t look happy but at least her anger was no longer at him, “I basically told him to butt out.  Then, the night we got back this year, James wanted to know what the staff were thinking of us all getting along again.  Turns out Slughorn likes Lily and I best but McGonagall has faith in anyone.  Dumbledore said he didn’t like the two of us together, a fact McGonagall was apparently already aware of.  He brought your family up, she mentioned that Andromeda was nice and he said you aren’t your sister and McGonagall said you aren’t your parents either.  Basically he has no faith in your ability to choose your own life.  Anyway, when he called me in yesterday, your parents were there.  So I greeted them respectfully.  Dumbledore introduced me as the half-blood you’re quite taken with.  I may have exaggerated my thoughts on that slightly, but apart from that I did not lie.”

“That isn’t enough for this,” Bellatrix tells him as she grabs the letter from his pocket and waves it in his face.

“Well…we may have briefly spoken about you-know-who.”  She covers her face with her hands and the crumpled letter.

“So you somehow managed to speak to my parents about the Dark Lord, whom they support, without lying, yet they approve of you?”

“I just said that I admired his determination and tenacity in fighting so hard for what he believes in and pointed out that most wouldn’t do as he has done.”  She sighs, “Oh, I also said I wanted to marry a pureblood so as not to bring further shame on my descendants and that having any sort of relationship with you would only benefit me in the future, and also that I love you and also that if I was allowed I’d marry you and spend the rest of my life with you.”  She looks at him for a moment before grabs his hand and leads him back to the group, pushing him to the ground and then sitting in front of him and leaning back into him without so much as saying ‘sit’ to him.

“…you two okay?” Mary asks carefully, Bellatrix huffs.

“Well, he’s managed to make my parents think he’ll support the *Voldemort if I do,” Bellatrix tells them, “And also told them he loves me before he told me.” They all look at him in shock, he grimaces.

“In my defence, when the conversation started I was trying to get them to like me because I wanted to one-up Dumbledore, and then as it continued it sort of clicked exactly who I was talking to and then I thought things would be easier if they held any kind of approval for me and then Dumbledore was getting annoyed and both her parents and I were enjoying that and by that point I think all three of us were trying to annoy him and now…here we are,” He explains, Bellatrix huffs again and rolls her eyes.

“What if he actually does it Remy?  Do you think they’ll look past that?” Much to the confusion of the others, Remus tilts his head as he thinks it through.

“Possibly if I _actually_ joined Voldemort.”

“Will you two stop saying his name!” Peter asks desperately as he slams his hands over his ears.

“Sorry Pete.”

“No one is joining Vol…you-know-who,” Bellatrix tells Remus sternly.

“Obviously, but they don’t have to know that…yet at least.”

“At the very least he’s given you more time on the Rodolphus front,” Sirius points out.

“Probably not long, all Narcissa has to do is mention the first time we met and they’ll know I was lying about the blood purity thing.”

“What blood purity thing?” James asks with a groan.

“Well, Dumbledore introduced me as the ‘half-blood your daughter is quite taken with’ or taken to or something, so I sort of had to dig my way out of that hole.”

“We’re trying to teach Reg to be a good person not to lie!  What if he hears about this!?” Sirius asks desperately, Remus sighs.

“Yes, okay, I didn’t think things through.  I know,” Remus tells them as he wraps his arms around Bellatrix and all but hides in her hair.

“What is with you and my hair lately?” She asks him suddenly, he shrugs.

“It smells nice and it looks pretty and it’s really soft,” He replies, nuzzling it slightly.

“Somehow I managed to forget you aren’t quite yourself right now,” Bellatrix mutters, it seems to click in everyone’s head at once and makes them all feel a bit bad for not considering it.

“What do you mean?” Remus asks, parting her hair so that he can sniff around her neck and catch her scent properly.

“What you said, about not remembering how to deal with the things you felt before you were bitten.  But there are things you’ve _never_ felt before, the anger you have for Dumbledore and need for revenge being one of them.  So naturally you don’t think things through or handle it particularly well, you just react and then you run with it.  Like kids do when they learn to handle emotions.” He hums in agreement but she’s not convinced he was really listening, at least the others were and are all looking a bit more understanding now, “Remus?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yes Trixie,” He tells her as he starts kissing the back of her neck lightly, she rolls her eyes and elbows him in the stomach, “Owww!  Merlin, why?” He asks, slightly winded.

“You weren’t paying attention to me.”

“Oh, I was paying attention to you.”

“Wrong kind of attention Remy.” He sighs.

“What were you saying?” He asks grumpily, moving her hair to one side so that he can put his chin on her other shoulder, but now listening.

“That there are things you wouldn’t have felt prior to being bitten and so you’re just reacting to them without much forethought.” He takes a minute to process her words.

“All right.”

“That’s it?”

“Well what else am I meant to say?  You’re probably right, but there’s nothing I can do about that except try and think things through more which I was going to do anyway.”

“You should be aware of what’s happening to you Remy so that you can look out for it.  Anger like yours for Dumbledore is not something one feels at four-years-old.”

“I was almost five!” Bellatrix rolls her eyes, “But I see your point.”

“I’m not sure Anger is the only thing he doesn’t seem to know how to process,” Severus says rather suddenly as he looks at him in a considering sort of way, “Also if we assume because of everything with Moony his emotions weren’t exactly coming through properly, when something did come through it would have been intense.  So that would explain why he attacked me instead of a more Remy-like response.”

“That…makes sense,” Remus replies slowly.

“What were you saying about Anger not being the only thing?”

“Well, at four, there are a lot of emotions he wouldn’t have been exposed to.  Anything of a romantic fashion for instance.” They all turn to where Remus is practically curled around Bellatrix who seems to agree with Severus.

“What?” Remus asks, noticing everyone’s looks, “I didn’t even speak how could I have been behaving weirdly again?!”

“Also, even things he did feel, he was four, no four-year-old can control their emotions.  It seems to me as though everything he was feeling before has just been heightened a whole lot, like frustration, and curiosity, and then there’s new emotions and such that he never felt in full to begin with, such as the extreme anger he feels for Dumbledore, and his feelings for Bella,” Severus continues, “Basically, Remy, don’t make any big decisions without one of us around to talk you through whatever emotions you are feeling at the time.  Not to have us decide for you, but so that you can come to an actual decision instead of a knee-jerk reaction.”  Remus nods.

“All right, that shouldn’t be too hard, it’s not like we’re apart much, or ever really.”

“So, now that we have time, what the hell were you doing in the restricted section?!” Lily demands quietly but fiercely, looking directly at James.

“Oops,” Remus says, Bellatrix chuckles.  Remus nuzzles against her neck slightly as he holds her close, “I do love you, you know. I didn’t lie to them about that.”

“I know, and I love you too.  But Remus, don’t throw your life away for me.” Remus chuckles rather darkly.

“I’m a Werewolf Trixie, I have no happy life to throw away.  I should be saying that to you.” Bellatrix turns to look at him slightly, she smiles.

“I’m not sure I’ll end up saying this much in our lives, given how intelligent you are in general, but Remus, I think you’re wrong.” She says sternly, “You have a happy life to look forward to with all of us in it.  One day, the war will be over, and hopefully we’ll have all made it through.  We’ll be standing at king’s cross, all of us, saying good bye to our children and nieces and nephews and godchildren and whatever else and they will be coming here to do as we do now.  When that happens, you are going to look at me and say, ‘I was wrong Trixie, and I love you.’” Remus smiles at her and nods.

“Sounds like a plan.”  She nods satisfied and turns back to the conversation in time to hear…

“…and then they start yelling at us about how we can’t do this and it was a waste of time and they refuse to tell us what it is or anything.  But apparently, it’s given them both nightmares,” James explains passionately, Sirius looks at him calmly.

“You will never know what we found, no one will.”

“You still haven’t even told us why you went there to begin with beyond ‘we were looking for something’,” Marlene points out, Remus and Sirius look at each other as they both shudder.

“Let’s just say that that experience more than anything taught me what recklessness can lead to,” Sirius tells them, “I can’t stop thinking ‘what if I hadn’t said no to begin with’, or ‘what if you hadn’t insisted we go looking for more information.’” Tears fill Sirius’ eyes as he imagines again how close he came to being forced to kill his best friend, Remus nods.

“Me too.”

 

A few days later at dinner, Remus feels the first twinges of the ache he feels before a full moon, but mentions nothing.  After dinner, the group goes to the library to do homework together.  They’d been sitting in the back for about ten minutes when Sirius turns to Remus.

“I thought we agreed you’d tell us when it started?” Remus raises an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t recall agreeing to anything of the sort. And anyway, what makes you think I won’t?”

“Because it’s a pretty early one so it should have started by now.” Remus just unhappily looks back to his homework and continues filling out the sheet.

“We should do another experiment tonight,” Severus tells them, “See if there’s a change in results.”

“All right, same plan as before then?” Everyone nods, except James who clears his throat.

“Actually, I uh, I need the cloak tonight.  But, I can just come get you two from your common room when it’s time?” James suggests, everyone looks questioningly at him, he shrugs, “Plausible deniability, the less you know the better.”

“All right, twelve then?” Bellatrix asks, they all agree.

 

“All right, I’ll be back later,” James tells the Marauders and their Gryffindor friends as he pulls the cloak on and exits the dormitory at eleven.  James heads straight to the library, unlocking the restricted section and wasting no time in beginning to search the shelves.  He wasn’t exactly sure what sort of book would have the information he needs, something on transfiguration or on shapeshifting?  Magical creatures perhaps?  All he knows is, he must find out how to become an Animagus, it may be the most important thing he’s ever done.

 

An hour later he’s at the Slytherin common room when the door opens, Severus and Bellatrix exiting and closing it behind them.

“Potter?” Severus whispers into the corridor, James debates whether or not to scare them before realising it’s a very stupid idea and instead pulls the cloak off.

“Let’s go,” James says, only they hear the door open again behind them, James knows they can’t all hide under the cloak because whoever it is will have already heard their voices, so he does the only thing he can think of at the time, “The password to the tower is Verona Fillia,” James whispers as he puts the cloak over Bellatrix.

“Snape?” A man James recognises as one of the Slytherin prefects asks as he exits the common room, “And Potter.  What do we have here?” James gulps as he and Severus look at each other. “Well?  Am I to expect the other Marauders to appear?  Is Bellatrix out here too?” The prefect asks angrily, again James acts before he thinks.

“Well I’d hardly invite them out for a romantic moonlight stroll.” The prefect’s eyes widen, but Severus feels Bellatrix walk past him and knows she’s heading to the Gryffindor tower to tell the others they’ve been caught.  He has to make the prefect believe him, he grabs James’ hand, “I don’t suppose we can agree to only meet up in daylight and simply let this go?”

“No.  We’re going to see both your heads of houses, now.  You can explain your midnight romp to them.”

“Romp?  We’re twelve you Snake.” The prefect raises his eyebrows at the wording, James turns to Severus.

“No offence Honey.” Severus doesn’t look impressed, James thinks it has more to do with the ‘honey’ than the insult to his house, but the prefect doesn’t have to know that.

Ten minutes later finds them in McGonagall’s office as the prefect catches her and Slughorn up on what’s happening, both turn to the boys in surprise.  Severus can’t help the blush that coats his cheeks as he drops his gaze to the ground, James scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I understand that when you enter a new relationship, things can all seem a bit exciting.  But I’ll thank the two of you to remember the rules of the school do not stop applying to you because you’ve decided to become romantically involved with each other.” James clears his throat awkwardly.

“Sorry Professor, I suppose we just got…carried away with it all.”  The prefect sneers at the two of them, Slughorn doesn’t seem happy about that.

“If anyone gives either of you trouble over this, do let me know.”

“Or me.” McGonagall tells them, noticing what Slughorn did, “We’ll have no homophobic bullying in this school so long as I teach here.”

“What’s homophobic mean?” James asks, Severus looks mildly surprised.

“Homophobic people are people who have issues with same-sex couples for numerous different reasons.  I suppose it’s just a muggle thing,” Severus tells him, knowing the prefect is a half-blood and thus it’s entirely possible.

“It’s a very cruel thing to do to people.  We don’t see much of it here, but when it does come up, I make it a point to be clear that it is _not_ to continue.”

“Yet the blood purists aren’t a problem?” James asks, Severus elbows him, “Oh if you think I don’t know they’ve given you a hard time about it just like they have Evans, then you give my intelligence even less credit than I thought.”

“…James, it doesn’t matter.  Let it go.” Severus tells him, hesitating when he almost calls him Potter, he doesn’t think that would fit the ‘relationship’ well.

“No, it does matter.  It mattered when it was Lily, and it matters when it’s you.  The three best students of our year aren’t pure bloods and I’m not going to let people shit all over your achievements just because they don’t like your parent’s choice of partner.” Slughorn and McGonagall exchange looks.

“You make a good point Mr Potter, I’ll endeavour to pick such things up with more ferocity.” James nods, satisfied.

“Thank you, Professor.”

“Ten points from both you for being out after curfew.  Professor Slughorn, if you would walk your students back, I shall return mine as well.”

“Yes of course Minerva, I think we could all use some sleep.”

 

McGonagall keeps looking at James out of the corner of her eye and smirking.

“Something I can help you with, Professor?” She smiles.

“This is not exactly what I had in mind when I tried to get you two to stop fighting, but I am happy for you both.” James doesn’t really know what to say, “I think this may be good for both of you, regardless of the outcome.  Good luck Mr Potter, and goodnight.”

“Good night to you as well Professor…and…thank you,” He stumbles awkwardly as he enters the common room, immediately heading to his dormitory to see the Marauders asleep and no one else in sight.  He sighs in relief, he’d rather not explain everything that happened right now.

 

The next morning, is a Friday, and everyone else in the school is looking forward to the weekend.  Unfortunately, the groups is ruined by the full moon on Saturday night.  They’ve decided they’ll hole up in the Gryffindor common room all weekend, none of the Gryffindors ever mind Bellatrix being in there so they’re all just going to raise hell should anyone complain about Severus’ presence.   Friday morning, everyone heads to Breakfast as usual.  Apparently though, Bellatrix had neglected to mention the excuse they had given the night before and so none of the Gryffindors knew of James’ ‘relationship’ with Severus.  That is, until they enter the Great Hall.

“There he is!  Potter, the Gryffindor/Slytherin err…liason…” One of the Slytherins, Avery, calls with a wink.

“Oh, sod off,” Severus tells them.

“Defending your boyfriend are you Sevvy?”

“I don’t need his protection.  Keep getting on my nerves though and you will,” James shoots back, Severus snickers at him, “Better yet, you’ll need protection from him,” James tells the boy, nodding his head to Remus who is glaring unhappily at the Slytherin.  Avery gulps and sits back down, all of Slytherin house avoiding the eyes of Remus Lupin who smirks and takes his seat.

“Sod the lot of you,” Severus tells the table as he gets up, walks over to the Gryffindor table, and plops down with the rest of the group.  Bellatrix shrugs and does the same.

“So you want to tell me what that was about?” Remus asks, he’s never really comfortable using his…reputation, amongst Slytherin.  But that was obviously in defence on his friends in some fashion so he isn’t upset they did it, he just wants an explanation.  James notices McGonagall walking towards them and looks to Severus who nods slightly, he’d seen her as well.

“Guys, we have some news.  Severus and I are dating,” James tells them, sitting beside Severus and taking his hand, the group’s eyes widen in shock.

“Sonofabitch,” Remus mutters in surprise, the group aren’t too shocked.  Over the year they’d known each other they had learnt that, one, Remus had one hell of a mouth on him, and two, he may have been shy to speak, but when he did he was not shy about letting his vocabulary fly.

“While I did agree there would be no harassment allowed, Mr Potter, please refrain from threatening your peers, trying though they may be,” Professor McGonagall requests, James blushes slightly.  Severus notices this and inwardly smirks as he puts his other hand on top of their conjoined ones.

“Don’t worry Professor, I’ll keep him in line,” He says, looking at James adoringly and silently mocking the boy for his embarrassment as he blushes furiously.

“See that you do,” McGonagall replies with a pleased and amused smile.

“When did this happen, what is happening, and are you kidding me!?” Lily demands of them both, they look at each other awkwardly.

“Can we talk about this during break?” James requests.

“No! Severus Snape, I am your best friend, how could you not tell me this?!”

“Yeah and what happened to you both being completely hung up on someone? Someone _else_ that is,” Sirius comments confused.  Severus coughs awkwardly, James decides to get him back and throw an arm over the boy’s shoulders while he opens his mouth to say something.  Severus gets there first.

“We just wanted to keep this to ourselves for a while, given our history.  We got caught out after curfew last night and had no choice but to tell Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn the truth,” He says, the others seem to understand and instantly look amused.

“I want to know everything, when did this happen?  What changed your minds?  How much of your fighting last year was actually a ‘different kind of tension’?” Lily asks, waggling her eyebrows as she uses their lie to mock them both.

“And what is it you two were _doing_ out that late at night?” Sirius piles on, he and Lily high-fiving when Severus groans, instinctively dropping his head onto James’ shoulder because of their position as James places an elbow on the table before him and drops his face into his hand.

“So we’re going to torture them about this until it happens for real, right?” Lily whisper asks Sirius who’s eyes light up and nods.

“Oh yes, I did not even know they were my one true pair until this moment but…oh yes we are.”  The two grin conspiratorially as they hear Frank Longbottom getting in on this and questioning the two boys, Remus and Marlene throwing in a word every now and then to keep the conversation going throughout breakfast.

 

They had double potions first, Sirius and Lily kept taking every opportunity to mock their friends.  Seeing as she’s Slughorn’s favourite student, it’s Sirius who gets in trouble.  He and Remus are forced to change seats, so when Lily puts her hand up to ask a question, Sirius looks at his friend pleadingly.  Remus rolls his eyes and high-fives Lily.

“Sorry, his puppy dog eyes are killer,” Remus tells her, she glares at Sirius who turns his puppy dogs eyes on her.  She curses the fact that Remus is right.

 

At break they all head out to the tree by the lake and sit, turning to face Severus and James who sit beside each other out of habit, already.

“We were trying to keep Bellatrix from being discovered out of bed as well, it was the first thing that came to mind and now we can’t go back on it without it being suspicious,” James tells them without prompting.

“Yeah you two are stuck fake-dating for at least a week,” Mary tells them both, Severus nods gravely.

“Potter, you call me Honey again, I will punch you. Fake-boyfriend or no.” The group laughs.

“So, do we retry experimenting tonight?” Alice asks, looking between Severus and Remus, the latter of which is sitting against the tree with Bellatrix laying on the ground, head on his lap.

“No way, he’ll be too weak by that point,” Sirius tells her earning a glare from the boy in question.

“I’ll be fine Sirius, we can do tonight.”

“Remus, you don’t have to prove anything here.” The two glare at each other for a few moments.

“It’s not like I’ll sleep well anyway.” Remus points out.

“Tell you what, arm wrestle with me, if you win we’ll do it.”

“I’m not sure I could win that in any condition,” Remus deadpans.

“Okay, we’re all going to meet up at dinner, whether or not we move forward will be decided based on how you are then,” Severus decides, Remus and Sirius both go to argue.

“He’s right chaps, we’ll all decide at dinner,” James tells them both, they raise eyebrows in identical fashion at James backing him up.

 

In the end they decide to hold off until after the full moon, Remus has to admit it was the right decision the next morning when he wakes to find the entire group in their dorm doing various pieces of homework and such and he hadn’t awakened at all.  He’s also quite thankful they are all being quiet as they talk.

“Ah, our favourite Werewolf has awakened,” Sirius comments when he sees his friend awake, Remus snorts and rolls his eyes.

“I’m your only Werewolf, idiot.”

“That _you_ know of.”

“Sirius Black are you cheating on me with other Werewolves?” Remus jokingly demands, for some reason the statement makes Sirius blush as the others laugh at the joke.

“Can you help me with this?” Sirius asks as he lays down on his stomach besides Remus, Remus rolling onto his side to see what ‘this’ is.  He’s not all that surprised to see it’s a modified version of their potions homework.  Lily and Remus had taken Sirius under wing with Potions, Lily would look at the work given in class and break it down into smaller segments, setting out easy work for him to work through before doing the classwork.  For anyone else it may have been too much, but given his affinity for every other lesson, he had time.

“I have to write down what ingredients are used in the forgetfulness potion.”

“All right, what’s tripping you up?”

“What’s a forgetfulness potion?” They hear Peter snort behind them, then they hear him get hit (Presumably by Lily). 

“It’s a perfectly reasonable question you toad,” Marlene tells him sternly.

“Sorry.”

“What I _meant_ was, is it supposed to give total amnesia, or does it erase part of your memory, does it give you short term memory loss for a certain amount of time? Or just generally make you more forgetful at random?”

“In this case it’s supposed to make you more forgetful at random, although now that I’m thinking about it, Lily, do you think it could be modified somehow to delete certain memories?  Or at least memories of things that took place at a certain time for a certain amount of time?”  Lily looks thoughtful hen he turns to see her.

“Not exactly, but you _could_ alter it to delete a certain amount of memories.  It would delete everything from the time the potion is taken to whenever you’ve set it to,” She tells him.

“That could come in handy…”

“How so?”  Remus shrugs.

“I don’t know.  But I was thinking, we should start collecting, stocking up on all sorts of potions and ingredients.  Spells, charms, rare, common, ones we create, and hide it in all in the castle. Leave a legacy for our children and their children and it can keep growing and stuff forever.”

“Where would we put all that?” Severus asks, the Marauders all exchange looks.

“What about the attic?” Peter suggests, they all nod.

“It’s got the system in place, we just need to add on a password no one will guess,” Remus tells them, they nod again.

“The attic?” Marlene asks, “Is this one of the hide-outs and secret passages and such that you lot found while exploring the castle?”  They nod.

“It’s not actually an attic, we just call it that,” Sirius explains, “It’s kind of hard to get to.  See, first you have to go through this portrait and down a ladder, through a crawl space and into the basement, again not an actual basement, then there’s a wall, that’s where the password will go, the wall opens up and you go up this spiral stair case and then it opens up into the attic.”

“How do you find these things?” Alice asks bewildered, they shrug.

“Curiosity.”

“The attic is large, it’s full of old stuff we’ve been meaning to sort through.  Old potions and spell books, cauldrons, and ingredients for various potions.  A lot of it needs to be replaced,” Remus tells them.

“We should look into making the offshoot into some kind of practice room for spells and stuff.” James suggests, the others nod.

“Okay, James, Sirius, Marlene, you three are in charge of choosing what security measure we have for the place.  Lily, Severus, Mary, and I will sort out stocking up the attic.  Pete, Alice, Trixie, you three are in charge of the off shoot, get it cleaned up, set up, silenced, all that stuff,” Remus dictates, they all nod.

“What’s the offshoot?”

“It’s a room that comes off the attic, we think it may have been some kind of ballroom at some point before it moved to where it is now and is too difficult to access.  We tossed up on the name between off shoot and the missing ballroom or runaway ballroom but off shoot worked better,” James tells Alice who seems to just accept the information.

“Why exactly do we need our own duelling room?” Severus asks, “And potions lab, and restricted library?”

“Because there is a war on that probably will still be on when we finish school and no one in here strikes me as the type to sit it out.” Everyone looks around at each other at James’ words, “We have something no one else in this war has had save for you-know-who.”

“What’s that?” Mary asks, curious and concerned.

“A chance to prepare.” No one makes a noise, “We can’t waste that chance.”

“He’s right,” Bellatrix tells them, “I’ve overheard enough in my house to know this war needs to end and you-know-who has to be stopped.”  Sirius looks uncomfortable for a moment before he clears his throat.

“Regulus overheard my parents talking about you-know-who, they support him, they think he’s doing the right thing.” They all look concerned, “If I can do anything to end this war before he’s dragged into it, then I’m doing it.”

“Well, we’re hardly going to risk the Little Marauder,” Severus comments after no one speaks for a few moments, everyone quickly agrees, “We need to try to keep up to date with what’s going on in the war, not just the stuff the prophet is spewing out either.”

“Bella and I can listen in around home but, how do we know what Dumbledore is up to?” Sirius asks, they all look at each other for inspiration.

“I don’t think we can yet, but if we have say, James and Lily, spend time trying to build a rapport for him, then in seventh year they can say they want to help with the war effort and hopefully he’ll give something away.  Until then we just have to keep an ear to the ground and really apply ourselves to all of this.  But we can’t fall behind in school, we need to be getting good grades,” Remus tells them, they all agree with the plan, “So for now, Sirius, what ingredients are used in this potion?”

 

A few hours later, Bellatrix and Sirius accompany Remus down to the shack as he argues that they shouldn’t risk being around him, just in case.

“Oh will you relax, we’ll play with the Pup, and in the morning we’ll all eat chocolate,” Sirius tells him, Bellatrix sighs.

“Can you not encourage the chocolate habit? He eats way too much of it.”

“Damn you guys are so married,” Sirius mutters.

“I’ll have you know that Chocolate comes from cocoa beans which grow on the cacao tree, that means it’s a plant.  Therefore, chocolate is a salad and I can eat as much as I please,” Remus tells Bellatrix who stops moving and looks at him unimpressed, then he suddenly jerks and falls to the ground, “Oh fuck.”  The other two look with wide eyes before they grab an arm each and haul him down the rest of the tunnel and into the shack.

“There we go,” He says as they shut the door behind them, “Hey Bella, what exactly does this bit look like?” Sirius asks, she faces him, looking frightened.

“I came in afterwards.”  Remus cries out as he drops to all fours, Bellatrix about to go to him when Sirius pulls her back.

“I don’t want you to see this,” Remus pleads with them, Bellatrix kneels down.

“We aren’t going anywhere.” Sirius sits beside her on the floor, and then he can’t protest anymore.  They watch as his bones break, joints dislocate only to change shape and relocate themselves.  They watch him writhe in agony for long moments, holding on to each other as it happens before at last, Moony crouches before them.  He throws his head back and howls, Sirius looks to Bellatrix, tears in his eyes as they are on her face, and grins a bit.

“I have to say, the howl is pretty cool.”

 

**Chapter note:**

* Bellatrix and Remus both use Voldemort’s name instead of ‘you-know-who’ or ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’ and it’s not because I’ve forgotten.  The way I see it, fear is either learnt or taught.  Bellatrix hasn’t been raised to fear Voldemort, she’s been raised to believe he’s some messiah that will lead them out of the control of a government allowing mudbloods and the like around the place.  The Fear that Lucius, and Narcissa grow to have of Voldemort, which we see in Harry Potter, I think developed after meeting the man.  There’s no way he was spoken about like the boogy man, not to the children of those following him, so that’s why she’s not afraid.

As for Remus, he’s not afraid of Voldemort either.  Why should one monster be afraid of another?  As far as Remus is concerned, nothing is as frightening as himself.

And that’s why they both refer to him as Voldemort, apologies if anyone disagrees with my viewing of things, I would be interested to hear what others think of it should anyone want to discuss it 


	11. Reason #1 Why McGonagall Both Hates and Loves The Marauders

Chapter 11

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ **

****

Remus wakes to yelling, unable to understand why.  He feels a hand stroking through his hair and leans into it, hoping it can sooth his growing headache.  That’s when the yelling stops, much to his relief.  He opens his eyes to see his fellow Marauders around his bed in the hospital, James standing right in Peter’s face though both are now looking at him.

“Wha’s g’on,” Remus mutters, eyes fluttering closed again before he reopens them, not feeling the need to put much effort into waking up with the hand still soothingly continuing it’s petting in his hair.

“Nothing Remy, just a small argument,” James reassures, looking at Peter as though he’s daring him to turn it into more.

“Yeah, just a spat, it’s over now anyway,” Peter agrees, stepping away from James.

“You shouldn’t even be awake yet,” Sirius says from above him, Remus looks up at him blinking at the upside down face before he squints at it in a rather adorable fashion if you ask Sirius, “What?”

“You stayed.  I told you not to watch.” Sirius smiles lightly as his hand moves to stroke Remus’ cheek instead of his hair, Remus leaning into it, eyes closing as he smiles peacefully.  He doesn’t see the way Sirius’ eyes water as he watches him begin to fall asleep.

“And I told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Remus is released that afternoon with strict orders of bed rest.  They all head back to the common room and find Severus Snape with Frank Longbottom, playing wizard chess in front of the roaring fire, most of the house standing around watching.

“Are they _still_ playing?” Peter asks quietly as they enter the room so as not to destroy the tense and quiet atmosphere.

“How long have they been at it?” Sirius asks curiously, James chuckles.

“Well, Severus turned up at about six this morning, apparently the Slytherins were being gits so he made his escape.  Frank and he started their game maybe ten minutes after he got here.  An hour after that Bellatrix turned up and Pete and I went down to meet you.”

“What’s the time now?” Remus asks in a quiet voice the others haven’t heard from him in a while.

“Two-thirty.”  He just nods in acknowledgement.  The blokes take him up to the dormitory where they find Mary, Lily, and Bellatrix on the ground, deep in conversation.

“Completely oblivious!” Lily complains.

“They’re guys Lily, what do you expect?” Bellatrix asks her with a teasing smile, the three girls laugh.

“Who’s being oblivious?” Sirius asks with a grin as he sits with them, “I love gossip.”

“Severus Snape, James Potter, Frank Longbottom, and Peter Pettigrew,” Mary replies fatly, Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“Oh reeaalllyyyy?” He asks, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, “So tell me, oh wise council of ladies, are they not seeing what I think they’re not seeing?  Because if so, something about those numbers isn’t adding up.”

“Potter, Pete, go down stairs,” Lily tells them, James rolls his eyes but immediately does so, Peter’s about to question it when James drags him out. “Now, what’s said in this room stays between us, right?” Sirius nods, “Remy? Is asleep.  Okay then.”

“Full moon tuckered the little pup out.”

“Was it that or the hide and seek you tried to play with him.”

“No I think attempting that tuckered _me_ out.  Now come on, spill.”

“Okay so, Frank hasn’t picked up that Alice has been crushing on him for a year, Pete’s being completely oblivious about Mary’s feelings for him, and I don’t even _know_ what’s going on with Sev and Potter.”  Sirius looks thoughtful for a moment.

“Maybe that’s for the best right now.  On all accounts.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, a lot of people don’t start dating at twelve.  In fact I’d say most don’t. Peter especially has mentioned girls barely being a passing thought for him right now.  Maybe they aren’t seeing it because they aren’t _ready_ to see it.” The girls all sigh save for Bellatrix who makes a face that makes Sirius think she’d said the same thing.

“Severus and James are a different story though.”

“How so?” Lily asks, Mary and Bellatrix exchanging exasperated looks.  Sirius makes a mental note to tell Andromeda about this, he thinks she’d be happy for her little sister.

“They’ve been crushing on people the entire time I’ve known them.”

“Told ya,” Mary says smugly, “Only now I’ve seen them pretending to be together and I’m _convinced_ they’d make a great couple.”

“Yes well obviously something is going on there, the question is how to get them to admit it and what to do about the crushes they both already have.”

“Any ideas?” Bellatrix asks her cousin who smirks.

“Lock them in a closet?  Then they can…come out of the closet together,” Sirius suggests, they all laugh.

“As amusing as that would be, at this point they’d kill each other before anything else,” Lily points out.

“They need a buffer,” Mary says, then she smirks devilishly, “I’ve got it! We put them to work clearing out the attic.  Just give them a list of things to get rid of while we’re all ‘busy’ with other things.  Lily you should be with them as a buffer.”

“Sev and I are close, but Potter and I don’t have a great history of getting along,” Lily points out, Bellatrix groans.

“Lily, why do boys pull girls pigtails on the playground?”

“Because they’re jerks?”

“Sirius, why did you do it?” Bellatrix asks him, he shrugs.

“I mean, they’re there and set up so perfectly.  I only actually did that once but in my defence I just wanted to play with her and she wasn’t paying attention to me so…” He trails off, the girls laugh.

“Yeah Sirius, you may be one of the girls here, but sometimes, you are still _such_ a boy.”

“Um…thanks?”

“Merlin’s pants!  Potter has a crush on _me_?” Lily asks suddenly, Sirius’ eyes widen.

“How in the held did you get that from my story about the kid whose name I’ve literally forgotten?”

“It’s a girl thing,” Mary tells him, “Now Lily, think over Severus and James’ relationship carefully.”

“Oh…they both like me.” She sits quietly for a while.

“Has it occurred to anyone to let them sort things out on their own in their own time?  It’s not like we don’t all have time,” Remus mumbles from his bed, the four gossiping preteens chuckle.

“Nope.”

 

The next day is Transfiguration in which they had to hand in a paper on their thoughts of how wizard chess might work magic wise.  Severus and James are so nervous about giving themselves away they over sell it and are separated to either side of the large group, the rest of the class laugh at how disappointed the two look, especially their friends.  McGonagall requests Remus stay behind after she’s read through his work.  His friends hesitate but he nods for them to go, even as he gulps nervously.

“The date being what it is I would’ve normally let this go unmentioned, but given I know for a fact you finished this piece of work two days ago, I feel the need to bring it up.” Remus frowns.

“Is something wrong with my assessment Professor?” McGonagall sighs as she takes off her glasses and puts them on the work before her.

“Not wrong, no.  Though I must confess I was expecting something a little more insightful, I was disappointed.” Remus’ frown shifts to a look of confusion.

“I wouldn’t really consider myself an insightful student, Professor McGonagall.” He replies honestly, she looks at him sadly.

“And that, Mr Lupin, is most disappointing of all.” He seems even more confused, “When you came to this school a year ago you were shy, a bit anti-social, and almost constantly looked as though you’d rather the Earth would swallow you up than continue on with your life.  In all honesty I was concerned for your future at this school, then I watched you give up your break to help a fellow student who just wanted to make it work.  And then, you came back to me and handed up the extension work I’d given to stop students that finished early from being bored, because you’d felt guilty for ignoring work handed to you.  I am glad you have made friends Remus, I am glad that you are so much more full of life and hope than you were this time last year, but I find myself asking, would that boy have ever handed up this paper?  Would he have been satisfied with this conclusion?  Tell me Mr Lupin, are you?” Remus looks down at the sheet she’d given him and thinks back to the day he’d finished it.  It had been only a few days after the experiment and his friends had told him he was still behaving strangely.  He thought they may have been exaggerating slightly, yet he distinctly remembers rushing through the last half just to get it done because he had wanted to hang out with everyone else but had promised himself he’d get his work done first.  He’d done that because he thought it was a Remus Lupin type of thing to do, he was wrong though.  Because now he reads through his conclusion and realises he wasn’t satisfied with it, he was rather disappointed actually.  He hands it back to her.

“Thank you, Professor,” He tells her, mentally going through the work he’d completely half-assed over the last week and prioritising things still due so that he can fix it all.  She smiles slightly.

“It’s good to have you back Mr Lupin.”

 

He convinces the group to go work on the attic and off shoot without him for the day, he has work to do.  So for his break he went to the library, he also spent lunch there.  His lesson after that was History of Magic, and so he goes to join them there.

“How do you suddenly have so much work to do?” Marlene asks him, he looks to the ground, ashamed of his actions.

“I’ve always had this much work to do, I just wasn’t doing it.  Focused too much on emotions and forgot to think I guess,” He replies as he pulls out the History of Magic assignment due at the beginning of this lesson.  He’d almost completely rewritten the bullshit he had previously considered completed and was rather proud of his work, hastily thrown together though it may be.

“Please hand up your assignments, today we are starting a new segment,” Professor Binns begins, everyone puts theirs in a pile on his desk.  Remus isn’t surprised his appears to be the biggest, he may have gotten a little bit carried away.  But it would teach his Professors to set a word maximum instead of just a minimum he supposes.  Though really, they should have learnt that last year.

When everyone is back in their seats, Binns pins a diagram of a Werewolf onto the wall.

“Today we begin studying the history of Werewolves in regards to the ministry of magic.” Remus freezes, willing himself to breathe and reminding himself that he cannot simply walk out of the classroom or people might grow suspicious _And back we are to me counting the seconds between breaths and how long the breaths last for I suppose_ _…_ _but what if they really do notice, why am I joking about this this is serious!  Dumbledore said we wouldn_ _’_ _t look at Werewolves until Third year!_

“Remy?” James whispers to his friend, Remus doesn’t respond but at least he’s breathing again.  Binns goes on to talk about werewolves in society and the dangers and the prejudice.  The registry, and everything else the Ministry had done, at any other time Remus might have been impressed with the amount of information he got through in one lesson.  As it is, he is not.  Remus raises his hand to ask a question, his group of friends looking at him in surprise and with worry.

“Yes, Mr Lupin?”

“Why did the ministry create the Werewolf registry?” The entire class is silent, Professor Binns looks at Remus in confusion.

“So that we know who they are.”

“Yes but, why do you need to know?  You said earlier that outside of the full moon, Werewolves are just like any other person.  It’s the wolf that’s the problem, so why do they keep track of the person as well?” His voice is full of simple curiosity, as if he just wanted to understand, maybe he did.

“Because that person could become dangerous.”

“So can any person,” Remus replies without any hesitation, “How do we know that Werewolves really are mindless beasts?”

“Because they attack us,” Binns tells the boy, ignoring his other statement.

“Sorry Professor, only I was reading a book about Werewolves in the library and it said that they pose little danger to animals other than humans.  Doesn’t that sort of imply that the humans are the problem in that equation, not the Werewolf?”

“I don’t know what you mean Mr Lupin.”

“Well, if every person you had met reacted very badly to you, don’t you think you’d react badly to people?”

“You’re saying that Werewolves are docile?”

“No Professor, I’m merely saying that People are capable of horrible things, especially when they feel threatened, but Werewolves doing the same makes them monsters?  Who are we to decide that?  And who are we to decide that the human they are most of the time is any more of a threat than any other?”

“You misunderstand Mr Lupin, even outside of the full moon, these creatures are never human.” Remus’ eye twitches almost inperceptively.

“Person, then.”

“We have every right to protect ourselves young man.”

“But that’s my point Sir,” Remus insists, by this point having the attention of the entire class, “So do they.”

“I’m not appreciating you disrupting all of my classes for the simple act of creating pointless arguments with me Mr Lupin,” Professor Binns tells him, Remus sits up straighter in his seat.

“With all due respect Sir, it’s been twice out of every lesson I’ve had with you for over a year, and I’d hardly call this a pointless argument Professor.  I’m trying to understand why this instance of prejudice is acceptable, even rejoiced, yet when people say similar things of danger and inhumanity about muggle-borns everyone loses their shit.  And while, admittedly, I could have handled things better last time, may I remind you Professor Binns, I _was_ right.” Binns looks very very annoyed, so does all of Gryffindor house, his friends just seem bewildered and a tad exasperated.  The Professor writes something down and holds the piece of paper out to Remus.

“Take this note and go see Professor McGonagall, she can deal with you.” Remus rolls his eyes, grabbing his things and the note.

“For the record, you still failed to dispute my point.”

“30 points from Gryffindor.”

“Yes I thought that might be coming,” Remus says as he leaves the room, heading directly to McGonagall’s office.

 

When he arrives, he knocks on her door and finds Dumbledore in there with her, he internally curses as he holds his head high and walks forwards, still annoyed by what happen with Professor Binns.

“What can I help you with, Mr Lupin?” McGonagall asks, Remus takes a deep breath to calm his anger slightly before he hands the note to her.

“I was told to give you this,” He says shortly, McGonagall raises her eyebrows slightly as she takes the note before reading it through.  She clears her throat slightly before she speaks.

“Mr Lupin, is there a particular reason you’ve decided to be deliberately combative when it comes to Professor Binns?” She asks as she looks up at him, Remus resists the urge to sigh as he takes the seat she gestures him to.

“I was not being deliberately combative, I asked a question he apparently didn’t want to answer.”

“And your previous lesson with him?”

“I was only trying to correct him, he wouldn’t even listen.” McGonagall sighs lightly.

“What was it you asked him?” Dumbledore asks, Remus bites back the comment he wishes to say.  Remembering what the others said about behaving naturally, he decides he’d usually make at least an attempt at being respectful.  Though really, thinking back he can now see all the times he behaved strangely and hopes that awareness means he’s back to normal, or close to.

“I asked him why the ministry created the Werewolf registry.”  Something akin to understanding crosses over McGonagall’s face as Dumbledore actually looks mildly regretful.

“I’d forgotten about this particular segment when I told you the subject wouldn’t be covered for another year, my apologies.  I am curious though, how did a simple question like that escalate to you being asked to leave?” This time Remus really does sigh.

“I think Professor Binns is still annoyed about my proving him wrong, Headmaster.  That, and I did not believe ‘so that we know who they are’ really answered my question.”  Dumbledore smiles slightly.

“No, I don’t suppose it would,” He replies simply, “I think I shall leave this in your capable hands Minerva.  But for the record, Mr Lupin, there is a reason you were unable to get a good answer out of your Professor.”

“What’s that, Sir?” Remus asks, unsure where he’s going with this, Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle mischievously at him, as though they were sharing an inside joke.

“Because there isn’t one.”  For the first time in a while, Remus is reminded of everything this man has done to help him.  While he’ll never give in on the Bellatrix front nor forget how manipulative he can most certainly be, perhaps he isn’t as bad as Remus has made him out to be in his head.

 

Ten minutes later, while Remus is doing his classwork in McGonagall’s office, a paper plane arrives on her desk.  When she looks at it, she sighs and looks to Remus.

“I think you’d better come with me.”  He seems concerned, but packs up his stuff and follows after her diligently.  They walk back to the classroom he had been kicked out of to find absolute chaos.  As soon as McGonagall arrives the room falls silent.

“Oh thank Merlin,” Binns mutters when he sees them, the usually rather monotone and composed ghost looking very flustered.

“What’s going on here?” McGonagall asks in a no-nonsense tone.

“What’s going on is the child lurking behind you _continues_ to cause disruptions in my class.”  Remus seems confused, as does McGonagall.

“Professor, Mr Lupin has been with me, and for a time Albus as well, since you sent him out.  How could he possibly be responsible for all of this?” She asks, gesturing around the room where many students are out of their seats, a few on desks, Severus and Sirius in each other’s faces with James in between them looking as though he had been preventing them from fighting before she arrived and everyone stopped where they were.

“Because his ridiculous arguments set them all off and they refused to clam down or listen to me until I had another Professor come in and explain to them exactly what _I was already telling them_.”

“Actually Professor, I believe we specifically requested a _competent_ teacher to answer our questions instead of trying to shut us up.  Now that one has been provided, perhaps you can help us out Professor,” Lily asks, from her position standing on top of Binns’ desk as she turns to face McGonagall who is looking extremely amused.

“Everyone return to your seats, Mr Lupin, you included.”

“Yes Professor,” He responds, everyone moving to do so.

“What is it you would like to know?” Minerva asks Lily who sits up straighter in her chair, mildly embarrassed at being found standing on top of her teacher’s desk yelling at him.

“Why are Werewolves monitored so severely?” McGonagall smiles slightly as she moves to the front of the class and stands in front of Binns’ desk.

“Mr Lupin posed his question about the registry to your Headmaster earlier when he came to my office, and Professor Dumbledore responded by telling him there is no good reason,” She tells them to the surprise of everyone, especially Binns, “The truth of the matter is, they are feared.  We do not understand exactly how lycanthropy truly works.  We know that the bit will either die or become Werewolves themselves, and we know it is through blood and saliva contact that this occurs.  But why the moon has the effect on them that it does, and where this infection comes from, we do not know.  People have a ridiculous habit of fearing what they do not understand, given a Werewolves ability to pose a dangerous threat, perhaps the fear is not entirely unfounded.  Because we do not truly understand it, there are a lot of misconceptions, one of which is that the person is more dangerous than others even when not exposed to the full moon.  They do not realise that this is a disease, an infection, and that the greatest victim of it are those who have been bit.  So to answer your question, the reason Werewolves are monitored as they are, Miss Evans, is because humanity is afraid, and what humanity fears usually ends up in far greater danger than the thing posed to us to begin with.  A sad fact of life I’m afraid,” She tells them, the class remains silent for long moments after she has spoken, too ashamed of what they are to speak in their own defence.  The group wonders if this is how Remus feels whenever someone other than them mentions Werewolves, “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes Professor, unfortunately so,” Lily replies quietly, then Sirius raises his hand.

“Yes, Mr Black?” McGonagall asks, Sirius looks conflicted.

“Earlier while Remy was questioning Professor Binns about this, the Professor said that even while not affected by the full moon, they still aren’t human.  Is that true?”  Minerva narrows her eyes at Binns who seems mildly sheepish.

“That is highly debatable Mr Black.  The infection mutates the DNA of the infected, quite severely while the moon is out, that is why they change.  Though as I said before we’ve no idea why that happens.  Given that it is still present while they are in human form, one could argue that as proof they are no longer human.  However, one could also argue that it does not change who they are at all, as a person nor as a physical being, and all it does is add more to what makes them who they are.  Both in personality, and in their DNA.  In this, it is my belief that lycanthropes are more human than we are.”

“Thank you, Professor.”  No one else speaks.

“Now, I want you all to know that this behaviour has been unacceptable, if it happens again you will all receive detention, I do not care _how_ many of you there are.  Do I make myself clear?” Everyone nods, “Good.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have my own work to do,” She tells them all, beginning to leave the room before she quickly turns back, “Professor Binns, I’d like to speak with you and Albus later.”  Then she’s gone.

Sufficed to say, the rest of the lesson is rather sombre.

 

The mood hadn’t changed when they all got to dinner.  The class had been held back for their behaviour as Binns finished the lesson, making up the time they had all ‘messed around’.

“You guys didn’t need to keep arguing the point you know,” Remus tells them quietly as they walk to dinner.

“You aren’t the only one who cares for the rights of lycanthropes you know,” Lily tells him, he smiles at her.

“Thank you,” He tells her, then he sees James looking put out and frowns, “What’s wrong?”

“I just…got so caught up in waiting for the day I could finally help out in this war that I forgot there are other battles worth fighting.  I mean, even once this thing with you-know-who is done, even if we win, life will go on.  For some people, us winning doesn’t really mean they get a better life.”  Lily takes his hand, squeezing it and smiling reassuringly.

“There are always ways to help,” She tells him softly, “You just have to find yours.”  He nods, squeezing her hand back and nodding grimly.

“People have done big movements before, haven’t they?  Fighting for the rights of others and stuff?” Sirius asks suddenly, “And for themselves?” He adds with a quick look to Remus.

“Of course,” Lily replies, “McGonagall said people are afraid of things they don’t understand.  With our work, all anonymous of course, we could make them understand.  Write a book or something, maybe one day it won’t have to be anonymous, we can stop them being afraid.” The three look at each other excitedly, naturally it’s Severus who brings up the obvious flaw.

“Who’d believe it though?” They frown, “Besides, from everything we’ve seen it may be too late for an adult wolf who won’t calm down long enough to realise they aren’t in danger.  I’m not saying that’s their fault, I’m just saying there’s some serious psychological damage going on there, one that we can’t necessarily help.  We don’t know how the wolf’s mind works.”

“We’ve got to be the people in the best position to find out though,” Remus points out to everyone’s surprise.

“Wait, you’re in?” Remus raises an eyebrow.

“I am not going to just stand around while these poor werewolves are criticized and feared simply because no one bothers to get to know them a little better.  I mean sure, I’d like to have more freedom and less fear in my life too, but there’s more to this then getting human’s treated better.  Imagine being Moony is this situation.”  Sirius suddenly smiles in an odd mix of proud amusement.

“Remy, are you getting protective of Moony?” Remus stands up straighter.

“Yes.  Moony deserves better.  And so do I.”  No one had ever heard him say anything even remotely positive about this before, especially not like this, and they’re proud.

“Then let’s make things better for you both,” Severus declares, “Forget what I said, we’ll make them believe it, we’ll make them understand, and we’ll drag everyone into a new era.  Kicking and bloody screaming if we have to.  The time for change is now.” 

They reach the door to the Great Hall with renewed purpose.  Yes, they’d help with the war if it’s still on when they graduate.  But James was right, it’s not the only battle worth fighting, and this was one battle they refuse not to win.


	12. The Truth About Lycanthropy

Chapter 12

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

The next few weeks, the group seemed to forget what ‘fun’ means.  Either they were in class, doing homework, making potions and modifying them and such, spells as well, training in the duelling room, running experiments with Moony and Remus, or continuing planning their Rights for Lycanthropes movement.   Unsurprisingly they were all stressed and beginning to get short and snippy with each other, but as they got more used to it, they found they actually enjoyed the constant work more and more.  That didn’t mean it wasn’t still getting to them, as became obvious during potions.

“That’s not what I mean James!” Severus insists as the group arrives at the class, the two had been so busy with everything, they’d forgotten to ever ‘break up’ so the entire school still thought them dating.  They’d sort of forgotten that too.

“Really?  Because it’s what it sounded like.”

“Boys, perhaps you can continue this little quarrel after class?” Slughorn requests, they both take their usual seats, next to each other, and try to ignore the problem for the lesson.

Ten minutes later there’s a small explosion behind them, they turn around to see a pissed off looking Lily and an equally aggravated Bellatrix glaring at each other with blue goop covering the both of them.

“Okay, let’s take a deep breath before someone says something they’ll regret,” Remus suggests from the desk beside theirs, both turn to glare at him, he holds his hands up in surrender yet the request stays clear on his face.

“Fine,” Lily says eventually, taking a breath before she starts cleaning up the mess, Bellatrix following suit.

“What’d you expect from a bloody mudblood?” Avery mutters to her as she walks past him to get new ingredients and try again, Bellatrix stops short.

“What did you just say?!” She asks quietly but fiercely.

“Oh now, I know you’re fond of your precious half-blood, but you can’t have seriously expected his pet mudblood to be of any use to you in a _magic_ school, did you?” Bellatrix looks at him for a moment, turning to make it look like she’d walk off before she quickly turns back and throws a punch straight to his face, “Argh!  YOU CRAZY BITCH!”  He screams at her as he falls to the ground, blood pouring from his now obviously broken nose.  She heals it, but makes sure it scars, knowing that once it’s healed like that no one will be able to remove the scars.

“That will always remain visible, every time you see it Avery, remember that that is the calmest response you could have possibly gotten for that remark.  Remember that if I ever hear you say something like that again, you will be useless to your family because you will be unable to produce an heir.  Remember that that scar was made in the name of Lily Evans and every muggle-born and half-blood you or anyone else has ever been daft enough to remain prejudiced against.  Remember that you will forever be _less_ than you were because you were a bigoted git, and remember that I was the one to make you that way,” She tells him in a low threatening voice before she gets up and returns to grabbing the ingredients, “Let me know when those detentions will be Professor,” She tells Slughorn as she passes him.

“Wednesday nights for three weeks, Mr Avery, you’ll be attending too,” Slughorn replies, Avery looks at him in shock, “I won’t accept that sort of talk in my classroom, least of all from my own house.”  Avery sneers, Bellatrix looks around the room and sees that Slughorn was the only one to hear what either of them had said, though she’s no doubt it’s rather obvious now.

“You’ll regret this Slughorn.”

“No, I’m quite certain I won’t,” He says seriously, James can’t help it, he whoops in excitement.  Soon the class save for that group of Slytherins is cheering on Slughorn.

“Why exactly did you punch him?” Lily asks when she gets back to the desk, Bellatrix looks at her in an airy sort of way as she giggles.

“Why not?”  Her friends are confused as to why her craziness has suddenly come out in a way it hasn’t in a while, but decide to leave it alone for now.

 

“We have astronomy tonight, right?” Peter asks as they walk to P.E.

“Yep,” James replies shortly, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Okay this has to stop.  We can’t keep doing this.  From now on, no more than three days a week spent in the attic, and no experiments those nights.  The other two days of the school week, we spend the day normally without that but can experiment at night.  Weekends are for schoolwork and fun,” Marlene tells everyone sternly, “The rest of today we have off of all of it.”  Severus sighs but no one argues.  Later, this is why everyone will blame Marlene for creating boredom amongst the Marauders.

 

The four of them were disappearing, frequently, during the weeks leading up to Halloween.  Then one day they arrived late to Transfiguration, James with pink hair, Sirius drenched, Remus had fur all over him, and Peter was dripping with slime.

“Detention, all four of you, and stay back after class,” McGonagall tells them straight off the bat, they nod, unsurprised.  She goes on with the lesson ignoring the entire thing.

“What the hell happened to the three of you?!” Alice asks, they all seem embarrassed, though no one would have been able to see Remus blush with the fur on him.  They don’t answer.

At the end of the lesson the three walk over to McGonagall’s desk, Peter still dripping slime but at least Sirius had dried off a whole bunch. McGonagall waved her wand at Peter, stopping the slime.

“Explain.”  They exchange looks awkwardly.

“There was a slight…mishap.”  She continues to look unimpressed. Remus sighs.

“We were trying to set a prank on the Slytherin table for the Halloween feast, but then the house elves were talking about how they needed to clean the whole room and decorate and stuff and we realised they might set it off.  But we didn’t have time to undo it all before class so we…we set it off ourselves to make sure it didn’t get the houselves,” He tells her regretfully, McGonagall sighs.

“I assume that you’ve all learnt your lesson about pranking your classmates then?” The four exchange looks again, she pinches the bridge of her nose. “Whatever you have set up, take it down.  I don’t want to hear a word of another prank from you four for the rest of this term.  Am I understood?” Peter gulps, James scratches the back of his neck as Remus bites his lip, Sirius smiling innocently, “It’s too late isn’t it?”

“A bit yes,” James replies.

“Shall we all go to the feast and find out what new mayhem you’ve created before I decide on a suitable punishment?” They all nod bashfully.

 

They enter the great hall and find the entire student body.  Sort of.

“GOATS?!  YOU’VE TURNED THEM ALL INTO GOATS!?” The four seem confused at that before following her gaze to the staff table where, indeed, they are all goats.

“I have to say, I thought you’d be more annoyed about the students all becoming the animal of their house.  I mean you have hundreds of lions in here but you’re worried about the goats?  Really Minnie, priorities,” Sirius tells her, Remus facepalms as Peter kicks him in the shin and James tries not to laugh.  McGonagall looks positively _livid_. 

“We made all the goats their favourite colours!  See, Dumbledore’s even the correct shade of pink!” 

“Well now at least I know where you two came from, where exactly does the water and the slime come in to it?”  Just as she says that, water drops from the ceiling over everyone, except the Slytherins who are covered in slime.  Unfortunately, the slime bounces quite a bit and ends up all over them as well.

“Huh, we miscalculated that,” Remus mutters, McGonagall stares at all of them furiously.

“Fix it.  Now.  All of it,” She demands before she turns and walks out of the room,  “Within the hour,” She adds as she goes through the door, “Albus, I’m borrowing your floo!” She calls down the hallway.  The four marauders look to their school cohort who appear extremely unimpressed with them, they just start laughing before walking over to the nearest animal to lift the spell.

 

An hour later, McGonagall returns to find the room empty save for a pink goat being spoken to by James, two eagles being chased by Remus and Peter, and Sirius mopping up the slime under the close scrutiny of Slughorn.

“Turn him back Mr Potter, now.  Whoever the two of you are, please allow them to turn you back and immediately return to the Ravenclaw common room.  Mr Black, a spell will work much quicker.”  A moment later it’s all done, “The four of you, and you Albus, need to come with me now.  Your parents are waiting.”  The four students exchange nervous looks,  “And for goodness sake,” She mutters, “Get rid of Mr Lupin’s fur.” 

By the time they reach Dumbledore’s office, Sirius has managed to get rid of the fur, for which Remus is extremely grateful.

“There you are, what is the meaning of this?” Walburga Black demands as soon as they all enter, Sirius immediately looking to the ground and shrinking in on himself.  Remus looks at him in mild concern, then he sees the disappointed look on his own parents’ faces and looks to the ground as well.

“Your children are known as quite the…”

“Marauders?” James offers, McGonagall gives him a death stare.

“Troublemakers,” She finishes, he grimaces, “While everything that they’ve done, save for Mr Lupin of course, has been relatively harmless, they’ve gone above and beyond today.”  Euphemia pinches the bridge of her nose.

“That’s just what Professor McGonagall did!” James exclaims, his mother glares at him, he gets very bashful very quickly.

“What is it that they’ve done exactly?  No one’s been attacked again, have they?” Hope asks while looking at her son in disappointment.

“Not as such.  They transfigured each of the house groups into the animal of their house, and all of the staff into goats of their favourite colour.  Then they dropped water from the ceiling except above the Slytherin table where they dropped slime!” McGonagall rants, none had seen her lose her temper in such a way before.

“How’d you know what all their favourite colours are?” Lyall asks curiously, Hope glares at him, he clears his throat, “That was very disrespectful, inappropriate, and immature.  A bit of harmless fun every now and then isn’t a problem, but this was too far.  Do you all understand that?” He asks them seriously.

“But no one got hurt Mr Lupin!  Well…I suppose you could count what happened to Remus as damage but he’s fine now!”

“You got caught by your own prank?” Orion asks them incredulously.

“Not exactly, we didn’t take the houselves into account and didn’t want them to set it off so we had to set it off ourselves and fix it all so that it wouldn’t go off until a certain time rather than when the seats were taken.  Which made more sense anyway, really we should have started with that,” Remus comments, Monty sighs.

“You know very well that isn’t the point Remus.”

“I know Sir.  Sorry.”

“Are you?” Mrs Pettigrew asks, “Are any of you sorry?” Peter, Remus, and James look to each other, considering the question.  They all look to Sirius and see how he still hasn’t looked up and is shaking slightly.

“Yes, I don’t think we’ve ever regretted anything more in all honesty,” James tells them, shooting Sirius a concerned look that the boy either didn’t see or doesn’t acknowledge.

“Sirius,” Walburga growls, the boy flinches slightly.

“We’re sorry.  It won’t happen again.”

“Good.  Are we done here?” The woman rudely asks Dumbledore who nods once.  The Blacks leave.

“Remus.” Remus looks up to his Mother who is kneeling in front of him.

“Yes Mum?”

“Do us all a favour, Son.  Find a hobby that doesn’t involve making everyone’s life more difficult.” He smiles slightly and nods.

“New hobby, yes Ma’am.” She smiles lightly at him.

“Would’ve been funnier if you made the Slytherins lions and the Gryffindors snakes,” Lyall comments, Monty laughs, their wives glare at them.

“Would you both stop encouraging them!” Hope asks them, the two look to the ground awkwardly, Euphemia sighs.  Harlene turns to her son, ignoring the other adults.

“Peter, I don’t want to be called back in here.”

“Yes Mum, I’m sorry.”  The parents all leave, Hope giving her son’s shoulder a squeeze as she leaves.

“Sirius?” James asks, kneeling in front of him as Remus drags a chair over and seats Sirius into it, “They’re gone, _she_ _’_ _s_ gone.” Sirius starts breathing a little easier, “You’re okay,” He says, rubbing Sirius’ hands slightly.  McGonagall and Dumbledore keep quiet and allow the boys to help their friend, Minerva regretting her decision to involve the boy’s parents.  She’s certain that the Potters would have been sufficient for him to fall in line.

“Hey Sirius, I kissed Narcissa,” Remus says suddenly, the boy looks up at him in shock.

“Y-you what?  Is there a member of my family you haven’t snogged?!” Remus smirks, Sirius realises it was a ploy to get him out of his own head and smiles slightly.

“I was getting through to him,” James mutters, Remus rolls his eyes.

“My way was quicker and more amusing.”

“Wait, so you didn’t kiss her?” Peter asks, Remus sighs.

“No Pete, I did not kiss my girlfriend’s sister.”

“You say that like you’re so above it, but you kissed her cousin.”

“Please don’t ever kiss my brother,” Sirius tells him suddenly, Remus looks at him in mild disgust.

“Have no fear, the Little Marauder is definitely safe from that.  Relax Sirius, Trixie is the only member of the Black family I have any interest in beyond friendship.” Sirius smiles at him, Remus and Peter don’t notice how forced it is, James does.

“You realise my Mother will tell my Aunt about this, right?” The others pretend not to notice the slight tremor in his voice at the mention of his mother, Remus nods with a grimace.

“Well, they’d have hated me eventually anyway.” Dumbledore chuckles at that, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Now boys, this was very serious.  I don’t know how you managed this, but it will not be happening again, do you understand me?” McGonagall asks them, they all nod, “Fifty points from each of you, your detentions stand as they are, one tomorrow night, and I meant what I said.  No more pranks of any kind for the remainder of the term or the consequences will be severe.” Again they nod.

“I hope you realise how dangerous this could have been,” Dumbledore tells them all seriously, they all just look around awkwardly, Dumbledore nods, “You may go.”  They all leave.

 

When they get back to the Gryffindor common room, they are unsurprised to find most of the house waiting for them and looking pissed off, nor are they surprised to see Severus and Bellatrix among them, James sighs.

“It’s possible that we may have gone a tinsy bit too far this time,” He tells them all, they glare.

“You turned most of our house into lions and those two into snakes,” Frank reminds them, as though they’d forgotten somehow, as he points to Bellatrix and Severus, neither of whom look happy.

“You do realise they aren’t actually of this house, right?”

“Oh please, we’ve adopted them, they’re honorary Gryffindors now.”

“I don’t know whether to be offended or flattered, but I appreciate the sentiment,” Severus replies, James’ lip twitches in amusement until Severus glares at him again.  James feels a tug on his sleeve and turns to see Remus who looks to Sirius.  James follows his line of sight and sees the boy still looking shaken, James nods to Remus and to Peter.

“All right listen, I know, we suck.  But on the other hand it was pretty great, right?  When will you ever get the opportunity to be lions, or snakes, again?  When will you ever again have the chance to see all your teachers as colourful goats?  Or all of Slytherin covered in slime?  When ever again will you have the chance to see McGonagall look _that_ pissed off?” James asks, moving towards the fireplace as he does, diverting their attention in that direction as Remus leads Sirius up the stairs.

“Hopefully never,” Lily mutters, “And where do you think you’re going?” She asks the two boys, Peter steps in.

“More importantly, who else can teach you how to turn other people into different animals?  Especially on such a large scale?  And the timing?  Who else would have bothered to try!” He says before nodding to James.

“Our point is, yes, you can look at it and us as the biggest pain in the ass of your life.  Or you can see this as an opportunity, and yank it by the balls and make it your bitch,” He concludes.

“We can yank on _your_ balls and hear _you_ squeal like a bitch?” Severus drawls, James winces, the entire common room turns on he and Peter.  But the other two made it upstairs, _along with Bellatrix_ James thinks when he can’t see her anywhere.

“All right, we get it, won’t happen again.  We’ll stick to pranking Slytherins.  But if it helps, we’ve been banned from doing any for the rest of the term.”

“YOU ALSO LOST US TWO-HUNDRED POINTS!” An older girl yells.

“Yes, I realise that.  Let’s all take a deep breath and keep the noise down, we’ve no need to wake the entire castle,” James says, eyes flicking nervously to the dormitory.

“The last person on Earth we would listen to right now is you.”  James gives Mary a considering look, he looks to Peter and raises his eyebrows, Peter nods.

“Wingardium Leviosa,” Peter says, swishing and flicking his wand, James remains calm as he feels himself rise in the air.

“Now I’m not on Earth,” He replies, Mary glares, “We apologise for what we’ve done.  Nothing of this severity will occur again for the rest of the year and whatever we eventually do do of this magnitude we will ensure is _actually_ funny.  Furthermore the school gets the rest of the term off pranks from us, but you as our house get two.  Also, we will all be working our hardest to earn those points back to make up for it.  You may all be vocally annoyed until we manage that.  It may make you feel better to know that our parents were called in so I doubt we’re going to be having a fun Christmas.  I would like you all to know that we arranged for a feast of our own in here, and for the older students, we have a surprise.  A good one.  So in conclusion, we’re bastards, we know it, we’re sorry, you won’t have to deal with it again for a while, we’ll make up the points, our parents are as mad as you, and here’s some food!” He says, clapping his hands twice and make food begin floating around the common room,  “No one under fifteen is allowed to touch any drink in a blue cup, it’s been enchanted to know the difference, even _I_ couldn’t touch it.  Nor could Remus and he’s the one that did it so…yeah.  Enjoy.  We’ll get out of your hair.”  Peter lowers him to the ground again and they make their escape.

“I’ll stay here and make sure no one goes in,” Peter tells him when they reach the door, James claps him on the back before he heads into the room and finds Sirius on his bed, bracketed by his cousin and friend.  James walks over, laying across Remus’ legs to lay his head on Sirius’ chest.

“You doing okay?” He asks after a few moments silence, Sirius takes a deep shuddering breath.

“Yeah, I think so.  I’m sorry for freaking out and leaving you alone to deal with parents and then the mob down there.”

“I don’t think another voice would have helped in either situation, so don’t worry about it.” Sirius nods slightly, Remus bites his lip.

“Holidays are a month away, are you going to be okay going home?”  Bellatrix’s hold on her cousin tightens.

“No, I won’t be.  But I don’t have a choice, there’s no way they let me go anywhere else,” He tells them, James and Remus frown, “I-I might not be able to write much over break.  But it’s only two weeks so…so hopefully it won’t be too bad.” Sirius isn’t sure if he’s trying to convince them or himself, the others are pretty sure it’s himself.

 

The rest of the term is uneventful, the Marauders manage to earn back about twenty points seeing as all the teachers are reluctant to give them any.  They get pulled up for a prank someone pulled and framed them for, luckily Remus is a genius and proves their innocence in the three days they’re given to do so before a suspension is given.  The group continues to hound Marlene about it being her fault until finally she snaps and the next day they all wake up with blue hair.  This lights Sirius’ eyes up in a way none had seen since before Halloween and the confrontation with his Mother.  Unfortunately, they all recognise it as the ‘I have a brilliant plan for a prank’ face.  (There’s an argument in the Marauder’s dorm that lasts well into the night after that, but luckily they manage to get his agreement on waiting until the next term.)  James never changes his pink hair.  Then suddenly, they’re on the train back to Kings Cross, sitting on laps much like before only now Severus is on James’ and Marlene is on Sirius’.  All too soon they are off the train and looking for their families.

“Mum!” Lily calls, seeing her Mother, “Your parents are there too guys, only, I don’t see Drom,” She says with a frown, they all head over to the group, greetings all exchanged as normal before Sirius sees Petunia.

“Petunia, how lovely to see you again my Dear,” He tells her with a dramatic bow, taking her hand and placing a kiss on the back of it, the girl blushes.

“Nice to see you too Sirius,” She tells him, “Clara keeps asking about you.”  He smirks, she rolls her eyes at him, “No need to look quite so smug.”

“I tell him that on a daily basis Pet,” Lily tells her sister, nervous about how she’ll react, her sister smiles exasperatedly at her, she grins.

“Right we’d best be off, you’re grounded for the remainder of the holiday after all,” Euphemia tells her Son who sighs but doesn’t argue, the three leave.

“I suppose that’s the case for us as well?” Remus asks his parents and the Pettigrews, both of whom nod.

“Has anyone seen my sister?” Bellatrix asks, they all shake their heads.

“No, but your Aunt is over there looking rather unhappy,” Hope tells her, pointing to the woman in question who is looking around with little patience, Narcissa standing beside her.

“We should go,” Sirius tells Bellatrix who nods, “See you guys at school.”  The two walk off nervously, hand in hand.

“You know, for all that I joke, that wouldn’t be possible if you weren’t dating Bella,” Peter tells Remus who looks worried but also proud of the two, “See you.”

“Bye,” Remus replies, the Pettigrews leave.

“We’d best be off as well,” Lyall tells his son who turns to his remaining friends.

“I’ll see you guys in two weeks, bye Mr Mrs Evans, see you later Petunia.”

“Bye,” Petunia replies as the parents nod and his friends wave.

 

_Remus,_

_I_ _’_ _m only going to be able to write one letter, so please pass this on._

_I_ _’_ _m okay for the moment, it_ _’_ _s only been three days but they_ _’_ _ve mostly ignored me so hopefully that continues._

_I managed to get out and buy all your presents, so I_ _’_ _ll give them to you guys when we get back like we all agreed._

_Bellatrix is having a harder time, her parents aren_ _’_ _t happy with the_ _‘_ _sorts_ _’_ _she_ _’_ _s hanging out with.  Both of us have been banned from speaking to you all again, I_ _’_ _m sure you can imagine how well that conversation went down, considering they decided to get together and tell us both at once._

_Bella and Reg say Hi by the way._

_Miss you and Moony,_

_Sirius_

Remus sits in his room as he reads the letter, quickly writing more out to send to the others as he feels the relief flow through him.  He rushes out of his room and to the one next door to his, opening the door without knocking and throwing himself onto the bed.

“What’s up with you?”  Remus grins at his twin sister Phia.

“He’s okay.”

“Who?”

“Sirius.”

“Ah, the wizard.” Remus glares at her.

“Yes, I know you hate all wizards, but he’s in a dangerous position right now and he’s alive, so can you just not be an arse about it right now?” Phia sighs and nods.

“I’m sorry Rem, you’re right.  I’m glad your friend is okay.”  Remus bites his lip nervously.

“You know, you could meet them.  Not this holidays obviously, but…”

“Reeeeeeeemuuusssss.”

“They aren’t like the others!”

“How would you know?!” He sighs.

“Phia, they know I’m a werewolf.”  Her eyes go as wide as saucers, “They aren’t like the others.”

Sophia Lupin hates wizards, when the twins were toddlers and their magic began to appear, she was entranced.  She loved every moment of it, often purposely using it and then saying it had been an accident.  She had loved the wizarding world with all of her heart.  Then one night, she woke up screaming from a nightmare about her brother being bitten by something terrible, her father ran in to the twins room, only instead of going to his daughter, he sees the wolf standing over his bleeding son.  The wolf snarls at him, then jumps out of the window and runs off into the night.  Lyall had explained all about werewolves to the twins after Remus had been stabilised, told them how they were seen in wizarding society and that they had to be careful.  Over the years she had watched and seen the lengths they had had to go to to keep her twin safe, she had heard the pain he was in and seen the effects of his affliction.  Not to mention what happened the night of his first transformation… She grew to hate all things to do with the wizarding world because if not for them, Remus would be fine, he would be happy, and soon enough, there was nothing that filled her heart with hatred more than the idea of attending Hogwarts.  So she didn’t.  She didn’t go to Hogwarts and begged her brother not to as well, but he had never lost his love for magic, and she had never wanted to be the reason he did.  They made a deal, he would go and she would support him, but she never met a wizard, he never mentioned her to any of them, and she wouldn’t guilt him about it anymore.  She’d be happy for him, afterall, his sisters support is all he ever asked of her, and it was the least she could do for him as she abandoned him to those…those _wizards_.  She knew he had never talked about her at his school, and she knew it killed him that she never asks about school, though she listens when he talks.  That’s how she knows it meant so much to him that she wrote to him everyday, and he to her.  She may hate magic, but there is nothing in the world she loves more than her twin brother, and that is ultimately the deciding factor of this decision.

“All right.  I’ll meet them.”  His eyes go wide as a huge grin breaks out across his face.

“YES! OH MERLIN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE THE BESTEST THING TO EVER EXIST THANK YOU!” He yells as he tackle hugs her, she knows she’s made the right decision as she feels the complete delight he feels as if it were her own.  That often happens when they are together, they don’t talk about it, she never talks about anything relating to magic and her.

“They are not to do magic anywhere near me.”

“It’s illegal to do magic outside of Hogwarts until you’re seventeen,” He tells her, she smiles.

“Good.” He’s still grinning as she continues setting down ground rules, “They aren’t staying over here, I’m only agreeing to meet them once, and if I don’t like them, I never have to again.”

“All right but you can’t bitch and moan about them being witches and wizards and stuff.”

“How about we avoid magic talk all together?”

“Sort of hard when a few of them are purebloods.”

“Pure what now?” He sighs.

“Purebloods, it means there are is no muggle blood in their lineages, see some of the old wizarding families think muggles are inferior and that allowing them and wizards to procreate is diluting the magic gene and dirtying the genepool.” She frowns.

“That’s horrible.” He raises an eyebrow at her.

“But hating all wizards for the beliefs of a few is okay?”

“Remus tell me honestly, if I were to walk into that funhouse of yours,” He rolls her eyes at the description of Hogwarts, “And announced my love of werewolves, what sort of reaction would I get?” He frowns and looks to the bed, she frowns too and hugs him tight, “I will meet them because they are important to you, and for that reason alone I will keep an open mind.” He smiles again.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you Brother.”

 

At King’s Cross station the Evans, the Potter, the McKinnon, the Pettigrew, the MacDonald, the Prewett families, and Severus Snape all stand around waiting for the last two members of their group to show up.

“You guys think Sirius is okay?” Lily asks nervously, “I know Remy said he was, but that was eleven days ago, a lot can happen in eleven days.”

“I didn’t know you cared so much, Evans.” Everyone turns to see Sirius standing behind her with a cocky smirk on his face, they all gasp, “Well I know I’m attractive but this is a bit much, then again I guess I really am just _that_ ruggedly handsome.”

“What happened to your face?” Marlene asks as she walks up to inspect him closer.

“Tried to bring a book off of the top shelf of a bookcase. Dropped it and it fell on my face.” No one believes him, “It was a very high shelf.”  Before anyone has a chance to say anymore, they hear a commotion and see a bunch of trolleys be knocked over as well as people.

“A galleon says that’s Remy,” James challenges, Peter snorts.

“No one is stupid enough to take that bet.”

“I’M SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY?!” They hear Remus yell.  A few minutes later everything is up right and Remus sprints over to them, “GUYS I HAVE AMAZING NEWS OH MERLIN I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!”

“Language Remus,” Hope reminds him in a tired way as though she has said it many times already today, Lyall turns up looking amused.

“Forget something Remus?” Remus looks confused until he turns around and sees his father with his trolley, he blushes.

“Oops.”

“What’s going on?” Sirius asks with a laugh at his overly ecstatic friend, Remus turns to him and frowns, James shakes his head minutely so Remus decides to leave it alone. 

“OH RIGHT YES I’M SO HAPPY!” He shouts again when he gets back on topic.

“Okay Remy, we’re right here, calm down.” Bellatrix tells him, he seems surprised.

“Oh hey Trixie, sorry I didn’t notice you there.  Not that I don’t notice but I um…yeah anyway.” She just shakes her head fondly at him as everyone cringes except James and Sirius who laugh at him, “Okay, we all need to meet up next holidays, there’s someone you guys need to meet and she’s finally agreed to actually meet you and oh my lord I’m so fu…” Lyall clears his throat, “err, fluffing.  I’m so fluffing excited,” He finishes awkwardly, Lyall sighs.

“Who are we meeting and why didn’t they want to before?” Mary asks, Remus looks to the ground, shuffling on his feet.

“Um, okay so first off, no one be mad, there’s a reason I haven’t mentioned her before…”  His friends grow concerned.

“You aren’t married, are you?” Peter asks, Bellatrix just looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Of course he’s not married, even ignoring the fact that he’d never cheat on his wife or me, he’s twelve!” Remus smiles at her.

“Well I don’t know how the muggle world works, maybe they marry young!” All the pureblood children pause at that.

“You aren’t married, are you?” James asks him, Remus sighs.

“Potter, you’re an idiot,” Lily tells him, James pokes his tongue out at her, “Real mature.”

“I’m beginning to think this may be a bad idea after all,” Remus mutters, Lyall chuckles, “I am not married and for the record, in the muggle world you have to be eighteen to get married, where I live anyway.”

“So who are we meeting Remy?” Marlene asks as she ignores James fascinated look, he always looks like that when Muggle things are mentioned.

“My twin sister.” 

“You have a sister?” Peter asks, Remus smiles sheepishly and nods.

“Is she hot?” Sirius asks, Marlene punches him as Remus glares, he puts his hands up in surrender, “Okay, okay, no hitting on the twin, got it.”  Marlene raises an eyebrow at him, he coughs awkwardly and puts his arm around her, “Heh, sorry.” She rolls her eyes.

“Yes, I have a sister, and ew Sirius.  Even if that weren’t wrong on so many levels, she’s not into guys.”

“Hey, you’re dating my cousin, you have no leg to stand on,” He tells Remus strongly, Bellatrix giggles and moves closer to Remus who responds automatically by putting an arm around her, “Also, how great a woman would I make?”

“I can see that, little make up.  With your skin and eyelashes it wouldn’t take much.  Your hair certainly helps,” Marlene tells him, he grins.

“It’s gorgeous, right?”

“Has anyone bothered to notice that this is a big deal for him?” Petunia asks them all, they turn back to Remus who seems a little annoyed.

“Sorry Remy, we would love to meet your sister,” James tells him, the others all nodding.

“You’re invited too Petunia.  I think she’d be grateful to have a Muggle there.”

“Thanks,” Petunia says with a surprised smile, Lily grins in delight.

“And Reg of course.” Sirius smiles at him.

“Hold up, why isn’t this twin at Hogwarts and why would she want a muggle around?”  Petunia raises an eyebrow at him and James grimaces, “That came out badly.”

“Bit like you and Severus,” Sirius says earning laughs and two angry looks.

“She…isn’t exactly the biggest fan of the wizarding world.  When our Hogwarts letters came, she decided to keep going to Muggle school and ignore her magical abilities.”

“A witch that doesn’t like magic?” Petunia asks, he winces.

“More like a witch that decides to ignore the existence of magic and everything that goes along with it.”

“Why?” Mary asks, Remus looks sad.

“It’s complicated.  Anyway, she didn’t want me to mention her to any wizard types and she refused to meet any of you.  I realise none of that exactly endears you to her but I promise she’s a really great person, she’s just protective.  Um, but she finally agreed to meet you all and it’s really important to me so…please?” They all seem nervous but nod.

“Of course.” He beams blindingly and none can help but smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry this has taken a while. I've been debating how this story ends and wondering whether to change a few different scenes. I've now decided not to because it's written, they don't fit with what I want to do, and truly I can fit it in later. So basically, I've wasted three days debating this when I could have been finishing part 2. Sorry about that, but we're back on track and I shall be getting my arse into gear once more.  
> Enjoy :)  
> The story...not my arse...omg I hate myself just ignore me...


	13. Return of The Pranks

Chapter 13

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

“Okay, so, _now_ we can do the prank, right?” Sirius asks as they sit in the Gryffindor common room, presents around them waiting to be given and opened.

“No Sirius, we promised nothing big for the rest of the year, and nothing to Gryffindors until next term,” James reminds him, he sighs.

“What are we supposed to do then?!” He asks as he dramatically throws himself backwards.

“Have you ever considered not pranking people?” Kingsley Shacklebot asks from a seat in the corner where he’s reading quietly, Sirius blows out a breath as he pretends to think.

“No.”

“Okay, new plan then.  Starting tomorrow, it’ll last a week.  We need to give the school a break, that much is clear.  So, prank war amongst the Marauders?” James suggests.

“We’re turning on one another now?” Peter asks shocked, his expression mirrored by the other two.

“It can be as big or as complicated as you like, but it can _only_ affect us.  At the end of the week we’ll vote on who wins.”  Remus looks intrigued.

“Ground rules?”

“We can’t involve anyone else, it can be something that lasts permanently if left alone but has to be possible to turn back by us, it can be as complicated or as simple as we like, and as against school rules as we like, but again, it can only affect us,” James tells them, they all nod in agreement.

“Stops Friday morning,” Sirius adds.

“That’s hardly a week,” James complains.

“Yes, bit Remy has to leave Friday afternoon.”

“Ohhhh, yeah.  Okay agreed then.” Remus flushes slightly but smiles gratefully.

“And no using the thing in the thing,” Peter tells James who rolls his eyes and nods.

“I wasn’t going to!”

“Just checking.”

“He wouldn’t be able to anyway,” Sirius tells them, the two look at him confused.

“We wanted to make sure no one could get it,” Remus tells the two as he and Sirius both pull out necklaces with weird stone-like vials on the cord, “We divided it up so that if anyone ever _does_ get it off us, they won’t get much.  Still too much, but better than otherwise,” He tells them, a sad expression on his face, James frowns.

“I won’t ever use it lads, but please, what does it do?” The two boys exchange looks.

“Look, let’s put it this way, if you had used it either of the two times you nearly did, we would have been forced to kill you.  _That_ _’_ _s_ want haunts us, that’s what invades our dreams, the fact that we came _so damned close_ to having to _kill_ one of our best friends,” Sirius explains, James and Peter exchange looks.

“All right, we’ll accept that for now.”

“Okay, is that everything then?” Remus asks, they all think it through.

“Starts right now,” James says, they all nod, Remus groans.

“Now I gotta get up!” Sirius rolls his eyes, standing and holding out a hand.  Remus grabs it and pulls him down to the ground before getting up and running up to the dormitory.

“Whoa!” Sirius says in surprise as he tumbles to the ground, “Oh, it is freaking _on_ you bastard!” Sirius calls after him.

Suffice to say, none felt safe enough to enter the dorm after him and so they slept in the common room that night.

 

Gryffindor house is awoken by a loud pop and then a lot of yelling, a loud laugh, and then the portrait closing loudly followed by, “YEAH YOU BETTER FUCKING RUN YOU DICK!”  The house exits their dorms, walking into the common room groggily to find James, Sirius, and Peter with green skin and green powder around where they had been sleeping.

“That’s two to Remy,” Peter says plainly.

“What is going on?” Lily asks them incredulously.

“An ill thought out prank war,” James replies, “We promised not to prank you guys, so now we’re pranking each other.”

“It’s war,” Sirius says, a dangerous gleam in his eye as he walks up to the dormitory to get changed, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” They hear a thump, he walks down with feathers instead of hair, it was an odd look with the green skin.  He walks out of the common room.

“Three to Remus,” Marlene adds, the other two glare as Mary hides a laugh behind her hand.

 

At breakfast, James got hit in the face by a lot of lukewarm gravy, Peter’s cutlery was tap dancing on his head, and Sirius had had the foresight to join Severus and Bellatrix at the Slytherin table.  After that was Transfiguration.

“What would have happened to me?” Sirius asks him as they walk in, “If I had sat at the Gryffindor table I mean.”  Remus smirks.

“You’ll find out.” He frowns as they enter the room.

“Everyone, today we are learning how to lift a spell from a person who has been turned into an animal, this has been added to the curriculum after an overwhelming majority of students requested the lesson for their own protection,” McGonagall informs the class, giving the Marauders a pointed look whilst ignoring the state they are in.

“Do you think she’s still mad?” Peter whispers to the others, Remus sighs, James facepalms, Sirius looks at him like he’s an idiot.  Remus grabs his wand out of his pocket for the lesson, or tries to, instead he pulls out a stick of cinnamon.  He frowns at it in confusion as he checks all his pockets and digs through his bag, then he hears sniggering behind him.  He turns to find James trying not to laugh and the other two looking confused.

“James. Where is it?” Remus asks him intensely, James shrugs.

“I don’t know what you mean.  I can quite honestly say it is exactly where you left it.”

“Well clearly it _isn_ _’_ _t_ ,” Remus growls as he checks his pockets again.

“What’ve you done?” Sirius asks James who is laughing so hard sound isn’t coming out anymore, then it hits Remus as his gaze lands on the cinnamon stick again.

“CINNAMON?!  YOU TRANSFIGURED MY WAND INTO CINNAMON?!” James loses the plot and starts rocking back and forth on his chair while clapping, tears streaming down his face as he fails to breath.

“You realise he can just change it back, right?  It’s not a hard spell,” Sirius tells James who for some reason laughs harder.

“It is without my fucking wand!” Sirius chuckles as he realises the brilliance.

“What is going on here?” McGonagall demands, standing in front of their desks, James tries valiantly to stop laughing, but fails, “Mr Potter?”

“His-his-heeeeee,” James wheezes as he starts trying to talk and gesture to explain but he can barely breathe and eventually just tips off his chair and rolls on the ground as he laughs, Remus glaring at him heatedly.

“He transfigured my wand into a stick of cinnamon Professor.” McGonagall does not look happy.

“Then I suggest you become proficient in wandless magic Mr Lupin.  I am ordering no one to help you fix this.  I’ve grown tired of you four misbehaving, fix this yourself.  Mr Potter, get off my floor.”

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” Peter tells them as he sits James back on his chair after McGonagall has returned to the class.

“New ground rule of nothing that will interfere with class?” Sirius suggests, the others agree, “Except potions.”

“Yes, obviously,” Remus tells him, they all enjoyed messing with potions far too much, “So…I don’t have a wand now?” He sighs as he searches through his books for some mention of wandless magic.

“Maybe it will still work as a wand?” James suggests half an hour later, Remus glares at him.

“Not unless you really botched the magic…oh what am I saying, I’m sure it still works perfectly.” James sighs.

“I’m sorry Mate, I didn’t think she’d do that.  I figured we’d laugh for a while and then take pity on you and change it back.”  Remus sighs.

“No one could have predicted this particular turn of events,” He concedes as he picks up the stick of cinnamon, “Wingardium Leviosa.”  It doesn’t work, “I can’t tell if I’m actually upset about that or not.  I mean, I’d rather not carry around a cinnamon stick for the rest of my life, but I’d also like my damned wand to work.”

“Now Remus, that’s not fair, it’s hardly the wand’s fault,” Sirius points out, Remus glares before he turns back to his books, “I don’t suppose you put a time limit on this and it’ll turn back on its own?”

“Why would I have done that Sirius, I didn’t think I’d leave it this long,” He replies, Sirius shrugs.

“Worth checking.”

 

Remus spends break in the library, surrounded by books on wandless magic.  He borrows a few of them before he heads to History of Magic.  He sees that Severus and Bellatrix are in here and suddenly remembers they’ve been coming here for a while, but they don’t _have_ History of Magic with the Slytherins.

“Why are you guys in this class?” Severus shrugs.

“We started joining you guys for all your classes a while ago, the teachers just send each other missives to let them know we attended the class and they’ve been marking all our work.” Remus takes his seat and decides not to question it, “How’s the wandless magic going?”

“It occurred to me that we don’t use wands to make a broom work, so we do wandless magic quite frequently.”

“The broom is already a magic object,” Severus reminds him, Remus nods.

“Yes but, technically, so is the cinnamon stick.  See, the reason we use one spell to transfigure something and another to change it back is because the object remembers what it used to be, sort of.  So, my wand knows it should be a wand, and all I have to do is sort of give it the command to change back, like we give the broom to command to fly rather than using wands and putting magic in the broom.”

“How are you going to give it the command without your wand?” Sirius asks, bypassing how he worked all this out because Remus Lupin _just gets_ magic in a way that most people can only dream of, Remus frowns.

“I don’t know yet.  But I’m going to work it out.”  The others might have offered to change it back while McGonagall isn’t there had he not said that, but they recognise the signs of Remus accepting a challenge and they know he won’t let them.

“So, how long until you lose us a bunch of points and get sent out of class today?” Bellatrix asks him, he sighs.

“No Trixie, I’m turning over a new leaf.  Binns and I are going to get along just fine.”

_Ten minutes later_ _…_

“But Professor!”

“I said twenty points from Gryffindor Mr Lupin, would you like for me to take more?” Remus goes to speak again when Lily pulls him down to sit.

“No Sir, no he wouldn’t.”

“Now, as I was saying, historically homosexual couples have never been accepted in Muggle society.  Wizards, save for those of the sacred twenty-eight, have been inclusive of such couples since the end of the twelfth century and thus many today have never even heard of such things.  However with more Muggle-borns and half-bloods being born and brought into wizarding society, these ideals have begun strongly feeding into our own.  In response to that, it’s been suggested for the third time in less than a century that, for the good of the wizarding world, such relationships be outlawed. For purebloods, it is generally a belief that such things will help prevent muggle-borns and half-bloods being born, for Muggles it is simply a belief that these things should not be allowed.”

“Yes, but Sir, _why_?”

“ _Because_ Mr Lupin, how is the wizarding world supposed to continue if everyone decides to be in such relationships and no one can procreate?  You _do_ understand how such things work, yes?”  Remus glares at him as the class laughs.

“Well for one sir, that would have no effect on Muggle-Borns being born.  Secondly, I hardly think if one person is allowed and accepted by society to be gay that everyone will be.  For instance, my twin sister is a lesbian, yet I am here sitting beside my amazing girlfriend.  So tell me, how does one persons sexuality have _any_ baring on someone else’s?  The fact of the matter is, law or no law, my sister will _never_ be interested in men.  Thirdly, there are plenty of heterosexual wizards and witches out there to continue on the family lines, especially with the inclusions of muggle partners to sire offspring.  Finally, how is it anyone else’s fucking business if a couple of blokes decide to date, or a couple of girls, or hell, maybe three people decide they love one another and get into a relationship, it’s their own prerogative to find happiness, why does the ministry get a say in what makes a person happy?”

“I second his questioning on account of not being straight myself,” Sirius says to the shock of a lot of the class, especially Binns.

“I third it, though not on that account but merely because it makes sense,” A Hufflepuff girl tells them.

“That’s three votes, surely you have to answer the questions now, Professor?” Lily asks him, he sighs.

“What you children seem to fail to understand is that the Ministry has no say in how our world is run,” The class was not expecting that, “They respond to the wishes of the people.  For instance, you are all learning to lift the spell that transfigures humans into animals as the Marauders did last term because so many of you demanded the lesson you left the school no choice.  This is how things are run, you can say whatever you like but if the majority of people do not agree with you then your words are useless because no one will listen.  If you want things to change, children, it is not the ministry you must convince, but everyone else.” They are all quiet as they consider this, “Are you satisfied Mr Lupin?” Remus smiles fondly at him.

“Yes Professor.”

Remus only loses them ten more points after that, everyone was impressed.

 

“Should we just ban him from speaking to Binns?” Mary wonders aloud as they head to lunch, Remus sighs.

“I don’t intentionally piss the bloke off, it’s hardly my fault he has such an issue being questioned.”

“What he said about convincing people so that the ministry has no choice but to change their ways of thinking, it’s the same with our lycanthropy campaign.  We need to convince people that werewolves aren’t necessarily a danger.  That means we have to show them they are safe.  We should look into ways to calm, tame, and restrain a werewolf and mention them in the book along with everything else we are putting in,” Lily tells them, Severus shakes his head.

“Too much for one book, we need to truly captivate our audience.  Release two books, people will read one and find reference to the other and then read that too.  Plus, people will take an author who has written a series on a subject more seriously than one book,” He tells her, “It may help distract them from the fact that we have no credentials.”

“We need to be really careful about what we put in that one, especially in a time where certain people may try to use such knowledge to gain control of werewolves,” James reminds them, they nod.

 

At lunch, McGonagall apologises to Remus and tells him it was unreasonable to demand he learn wandless magic when most full grown wizards can’t manage that, she then offers to change his wand back for him but he refuses.

“I’ve started a list of anything in class we do that requires a wand so that I can practice it once mine is back.  But I think I’ve got a lead on learning how to do this.”

“Mr Lupin…”

“You challenged him Minnie, you may not have meant to, but you did.  If you try to turn it back now, he’ll take on of our wands and return it to cinnamon form himself,” Sirius tells her, she sighs.

“Very well, but if it is still like this in a month, I will fix it regardless.”

“Counter offer, if it’s still like this in a month I’ll start borrowing James’ wand in class to learn spells and if it’s like this by Easter holidays you can change it back?” She doesn’t seem to like that offer, “Think of it as a birthday present?” McGonagall sighs.

“By the holidays then.” She leaves.

“When did I agree to you using my wand?” James asks, he’s not actually opposed to the idea but he’d have appreciated doing his own volunteering.

“When you transfigured my wand into cinnamon.” James nods.

“Fair enough.” Then he takes a bite of his food before he yelps and drops it as his previously green face goes orange, “What just happened?  I felt something happen!”  His face changes to a darker green than the rest of him, everyone starts laughing at him, “What!?” He asks annoyed, his face changes to red, getting redder and eventually with steam coming out of his ears as he gets more and more angry at the continuing lack of response.

“Nice one Remy,” Sirius tells him, Remus shakes his head.

“That wasn’t me.”  They turn to Peter who is laughing extremely hard and looking smug.

“NICE PETE!” Sirius yells happily.

“WHAT DID HE DO?!”

“I put a mood charm in your food, it broke when you chewed on it and now your face changes colour according to your mood,” Peter explains, “Sirius’ prank idea inspired me,” He explains earning a fist bump from said friend, then a letter arrives which is odd because most mail arrives in the morning.  It drops from an unfamiliar bird in front of Remus, Bellatrix looks pale.

“Remus, why is my parents’ owl delivering a letter to you?” She asks in a controlled voice, his eyes widen as he looks from her to the letter.

“I’ve no idea,” He says as he rushes to open it, James’ face changes to lilac showing his nervousness.

_Mr Lupin,_

_We were intrigued to hear about your activities during the festivities of hallowe_ _’_ _en._

_Whilst we do not approve of such behaviour, one must admire the skill of the magic and the execution._

_You show the potential of a great wizard, quite powerful for a half-blood and reasonably skilled._

_We wish to extend an invitation to attend a lunch during the Easter break at our manor._

_Please give a reply within the week._

_Cordially,_

_Lord Cygnus and Lady Druella Black_

Remus gasps in open surprise, “Oh…my…wow…umm…Trixie, Honey, dearly beloved, um…” He shoves the letter at her, she frowns and takes it, reading it through.

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  They didn’t even mention this to me!” She frowns angrily at it as she gives it to her cousin when he makes childish grabby hands.

“You realise this is more of a summons or an order than a request, right?” Sirius asks Remus who nods.

“They…they won’t… _kill_ me, will they?” He asks looking rather pale, Mary sighs.

“They aren’t going to kill you Remus,” She says, though the two Blacks look to be considering the question, “Will they?”

“No, not kill.  But this lunch is going to represent a lot and have more consequences than we are currently aware of,” Bellatrix tells them.

“I’d say be yourself but…maybe don’t,” James tells Remus with a smile, it doesn’t calm him down when it draws attention to James’ face now being a darker purple showing fear.

“Just, just continue being the person they met before.  How did you do that?” Sirius asks him, “You convinced them you believe in blood purity, how?”  He blushes.

“I uh, I just channelled my feelings for my…furry little problem, into what I was saying.” Sirius suddenly looks very sad and hugs him.

“You know we love Moony, right?”

“Sirius, this was before we knew a lot of what we do now.  I mean it was after the first experiment but…but I was all so new and stuff.  I know though, I know,” Sirius smiles at him, he smiles back, Bellatrix clears her throat, “Trixie?”

“Nothing,” She replies with a huff and an eyeroll, Remus looks confused, he turns back to Sirius who is resolutely looking at his food and only grows more confused.

“All right then, I suppose I better give a reply.”

_Lord Black,_

_I am honoured by the request put forth by you and your wife and of course would be delighted to attend your lunch._

_If you wouldn_ _’_ _t mind sending me the details, I look forward to seeing you both there._

_Respectfully,_

_Remus J. Lupin_

“What do you think?” He asks Sirius who raises an eyebrow.

“How do you even know the proper protocol to follow?” Remus shrugs.

“It’s pretty predictable.”

“It’s confusing and bizarre and random as all hell.”

“It really isn’t though, it’s quite simple when you think about it.  Imagine living in the middle ages as a peasant and they are the lords and ladies who rule over the land.  The lady is granted every respect that the Lord is, only he is superior and more important, all requests, regardless of who extends them, are from the Lords generosity and allowed at his prerogative.  Take every opportunity to show their superiority in your wording, speak graciously and remember what an honour it is they are even talking to you.  Bow and comply when given an order, and remember at all times that a misstep ends in death,” Remus explains, Sirius snorts.

“That is ridiculously accurate, and you are such a dork.”  Remus chuckles but doesn’t disagree.

 

Later that night Remus sits on his bed and meditates with his cinnamon stick(wand), trying to feel the power he knows is somewhere inside.  He feels it and tries to tap into it, to pull it to the surface, it works…sort of.  A wave of magic comes out of it and pushes everything within the room back a few inches and shatter all the glass in the room including the windows, Remus instinctually reaches out a hand to stop the glass falling on his friends.

“What the hell?!” James asks as he wakes suddenly.

“DO NOT SIT UP!” Remus yells at them, the three freeze as they see the glass shards floating above them, they look around at the chaos of the room and turn to glare at him just as the door is opened by a concerned looking prefect, Henry.

“What’s going on?!” He asks, Remus winces as he focuses on the glass, it shatters more but doesn’t fall.

“Okay, will someone please move the glass away from them because I don’t know how I am even holding it there,” He requests, his hand still outstretched. A few more people join the prefect and carefully move the glass away from the students, it’s not until they are safe and he drops his arm that Remus realises he had not managed to protect himself as well.

“Right, I’m taking all four of you to Madam Pomfrey, Scarlet, will you please wake Professor McGonagall and have her meet us there?” Scarlet hurries out, Henry gently levitating Remus so that nothing shifts the glass, other older students levitate the other three over the glass before allowing them to walk.

 

“What happened?” Poppy asks as the five enter, Henry lowers Remus onto the bed.

“I know there was a lot of glass involved, I’m not sure of anything else.  I think these three were protected but I brought them here just in case, Remy’s been hit by a lot of it.”

“You did the right thing Mr Carlysle.”

“Thanks Hank,” Remus tells him, the prefect smiles, taking a seat on a nearby bed with the other while they wait for McGonagall.  She shows up ten minutes later, by then Remus had been fully treated and all glass removed, and the others had been given a clean bill of health.

“What happened?” Peter, James, and Sirius all turn to look at Remus, soon followed by the other three members of the room.

“I was trying to fix my wand, it didn’t go to plan.”

“You did manage wandless magic though, you stopped every bit of glass from falling on us,” James points out, Remus flushes slightly.

“Wouldn’t have had to if I hadn’t fucked up to begin with.”

“Language Mr Lupin,” Poppy tells him, he smiles sheepishly.

“Sorry Madam Pomfrey.”  Remus tells the whole story, then Henry tells his version of things followed by the remaining Marauders, McGonagall purses her lips.

“Mr Lupin, in future, the day is a much better time to practice magic, and while people are aware of what you are doing.”

“Yes Professor, I’m sorry.”

“Yes, well, you may all return to bed.” Remus isn’t sure how, but he’s reasonably certain they’ve just gotten back in her good books.

 

The next day Remus wakes up early and goes to the off shoot, now fully set up, and continues practicing.  He meditates with his wand, feeling for the power again, and tries to work out what went wrong.  He can feel the power in his wand, feels the beauty in it, the purity, it reminds him of a unicorn actually.  That’s when it hits him, his eyes open in surprise, his wand’s core is unicorn hair.  He looks at the cinnamon stick in wonder.

“I can feel your core,” He whispers in awe to it as he feels tears fill his eyes, “Talk to me, why didn’t it work?”  Obviously the wand gave no words, yet he knew now that there is simply too much power in the wand to be used unchanneled as he had tried.  Only that was wrong somehow, he feels his wand, searching for something, some hidden knowledge just outside of his reach, the answer on the tip of his tongue and he just can’t find the words.

He knows enough time has passed that he should head down to breakfast, but he doesn’t, he needs an answer and he’s _so close_ , if he can just keep pushing, just a little more…his eyes snap open.  Not in surprise as before, but forced open by a power he doesn’t understand as adrenaline courses through him and he knows _he knows,_ “A wand has no true power of its own, it is merely a conduit for ones soul,” He says, he’s not sure where the words come from, but he feels the truth in them.  A wand has no power, yet it is a magical item, it’s components must match a wizard if it is to channel that wizards power.  But one’s power is intertwined with one’s soul so closely that a wand soon becomes as much a part of a wizard as their magic itself.  To perform wandless magic, he needs to stop trying to use his wand and pull the power from within himself.  He understands now why it takes years to learn and why some never manage it, after all, how does one channel power with no conduit?  How do you use it, how do you reach it, how do you bend it to your will?  He sighs, rubbing at his temples as he stands and stretches himself. “I can’t even check the fucking time without my wand, how am I going to last two months?” He grumbles as he makes his way to first lesson instead of breakfast, he had a feeling he had missed it.  It’s not until he’s laying in bed that night that he realises, it’s been a long damned time since he counted everything so carefully that he knew the time of day without aid.

 

The school lasts until Thursday before the Gryffindors are all waiting in the common room for the Marauders to return one night.

“Um, hi?” Peter squeaks when he notices everyone looking at them expectantly, James moves to stand in front of the other three protectively as Remus begins looking for possible exits and Sirius starts forming various plans and excuses, Peter just panics and tries to work out what they did wrong.

“Well, whatever this is about, I can honestly say we didn’t do it,” James tells them all calmly as he holds his hands out in front of his friends to keep them behind him.

“Have a seat, boys,” Henry requests, the three behind James exchange looks as James merely regards the prefect in suspicion.

“I… think we’ll stay where we are, thanks.” Henry sighs.

“We want you to prank someone for us.”  James frowns in confusion as the other three exchange looks again.

“What?”

“There’s this Slytherin prat that keeps targeting young Gryffindors, specifically those not of pureblood decent and everyone that hangs out with them.”

“So, everyone?” Sirius asks, James bends his pointer finger slightly before straightening it, Sirius takes it as the message to let him deal with this that it is.  James puts his arms down and steps forward slightly but subtly gestures for the other to remain where they are, Remus moving to cover Peter slightly while Sirius shifts to lean on one leg and cross his arms, looking unimpressed with everything.

“You spend almost a year and a half trying to get us to stop and now you want our help with a prank?” Frank Longbottom shakes his head.

“No, we want your help to defend our young cubs from evil snakes.”

“Not all of them are bad,” Remus can’t help but point out, pretty much the entire group rolls their eyes at him.

“Will you relax?  Believe me, none of us are _ever_ going to say anything against your girlfriend or Potter’s boyfriend.”

“There’s another reason we want you to do this,” Scarlet informs them, Sirius raises an eyebrow at her, “The prank war has to stop.  Prank us, prank the teachers, we don’t care, but this chaos has to _end_.”  The four chuckle.

“Yeah, none of us have even been in our dorm in days, too paranoid about what might be set up.”

“Not to mention I can’t undo anything done to me without someone’s help,” Remus mutters angrily, James gives him a sheepish look that has the other Marauders calming and coming over to sit around the common room table with Frank, Scarlet, and Henry.  James seems to debate something for a moment before he nods and speaks to the others without looking away from Henry.

“All right boys, prank war over.  We have cubs to protect.”


	14. Don't Mess With A Lion's Cubs

Chapter 14

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ ** **_I also do not own the song We Will Rock You, that belongs to Queen_ **

****

Three days after the intervention the plan is set up, they just had to wait for an opening.  It took another week and a half for it to appear, but they were patient, for once taking a page out of the Slytherins book, they knew their opening would come in time.

They are all at dinner, Gryffindors on alert, watching and waiting.  The whole school knew they were planning something, they’d all been on edge for two weeks, but as planned, none had let anything slip.  What was most concerning was how quiet the Marauders had been after the abrupt end to their prank war, the school was certain they’d roped their house into something and were all on edge as well as they waited to see what happened.  Then the dickhead Slytherin sixth year, Samael, used a racist slur on a second year as they enter the hall, the younger kids of Gryffindor had been nervous, what if it was them, what if they were the opening, could they do what needed to be done?  What if they froze?  Yet in that moment, the second year he happened to insult, was none other than Lily Evans, and she was far too proud and pissed off to allow the opportunity to pass.

“What did you just say to me dickwad?!” She calls to him, the hall freezes, Gryffindor all but vibrating.

“I _said_ you are a no good mudblood and you have no place in this school,” He tells her, quiet enough that no one but she and Severus (who is beside her) hears.

“You…” Lily stops Severus before he continues, she smirks dangerously at the Slytherin before she takes a step back and opens her mouth, beginning to sing loudly and clearly, knowing it would set Gryffindor off on their plan.

“Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise playin on the street gonna be a big man someday,” She sings before she licks the back of her hand and wipes it on the Samael’s face before he can stop her, “You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, kicking your can all over the place.” That’s when Gryffindor starts up, _stomp stomp clap stomp stomp clap_ , “Singin’”

“ _We will, we will, ROCK YOU!_ ” The entire house sings.

“Buddy you’re a young man hard man shouting in the street gonna take on the world someday, you got blood on your face, you big disgrace, waving your banner all over the place!” Lily sings strongly.

“ _We will, we will, ROCK YOU!_ ”

“Sing it!” Lily all but yells.

“ _We will, we will, ROCK YOU!_ ” This time it’s not just Gryffindor, but all the students who have spent enough time in the muggle world to know the lyrics.

“Buddy you’re an old man poor man pleadin’ with your eyes gonna give you some peace someday, you got mud on your face, you big disgrace,” Lily sings, moving closer and getting in her tormentor’s face as she sings “ _Somebody better put you back into your PLACE!_ ” Punctuating the last word with a shove that sends him back a couple of steps.

“ _We will, we will, ROCK YOU!_ ” Now it’s most of the school, save for the Slytherins, joining in on the glory.

“Sing it!”

“ _We will, we will ROCK YOU!_ ”

“Everybody!” Lily sings as she hears the electric guitar pick up on cue behind her, she had known that Mary played guitar and loves Queen, so she wasn’t shocked she knew the song.  What had shocked her was that Mary had apparently spent hours fiddling with the guitar and its speaker along with Professor Flitwick in order to make it work.

“ _We will, we will, ROCK YOU!_ _We will, we will, ROCK YOU!_ ” They all continue the stomp stomp clap until the end of Mary’s guitar solo when they all erupt in cheers, the rest of the school clapping and cheering as well.

“You Slytherins may have cunning, and ambition, and a self-centred need to protect yourselves, but we have bravery, and friendship, and loyalty, and above all, we have an entire house that will back us until the end of time.  So take this warning to heart, _never mess with a Lion_ _’_ _s cub,_ ” Lily tells Samael threateningly before she walks to her table with a huge grin on her face as Gryffindor continues celebrating their success and the Slytherin’s humiliation.  Her house welcomes her with congratulations on a job well done.  Severus smirks at his stunned and humiliated house mate before he goes and joins the Gryffindors, clapping them on the back.

“Please tell me the recording worked?” Lily begs Frank who grins and nods, “Yes!”

“What even just happened?” Severus asks, adrenaline still coursing through him along with the rest of the school as happy chatter and celebrations spread throughout the houses, except the gloomy and mortified Slytherin table.

“He’d been harassing our kids,” Henry tells him, “We’d debated how to get him back when we remembered just who is in our house,” He explains, nearby Gryffindors all moving to look at the satisfied and smug looking Marauders who calmly lounge in their seats looking like they own the world.

“Oh Merlin, you didn’t!” Bellatrix exclaims looking ecstatic with this turn of events.

“This wasn’t exactly what we were expecting them to come up with,” Scarlet tells the two Slytherins, James’ smug look grows.

“What did we tell you?  Sometimes revenge is not nearly as constructive as a warning.”

“You did well Lily, you’ve done your house proud,” Sirius tells her dramatically she rolls her eyes and shakes her head fondly.

“You have a week to get off that high horse before I start kicking your arse again Black.” He grins at her, insanely proud of himself and his house.  This type of comradery was exactly what he had dreaded missing by being sorted into Slytherin, he’s never been so glad for being a Gryffindor. _This right here_ , he thinks to himself, _this is what it means to be a Gryffindor_.

It might have even been the most eventful part of the day if Peter hadn’t gone to high-five Remus, but he does.  Remus happily going to reciprocate, only when their hands meet, Peter is flung to the opposite side of the room and into the wall before falling to the ground.

“Pete!” James yells when he goes flying, running over and making it to his friend just as Slughorn gets to him, he having been the closest teacher to the Slytherin table that Peter landed behind.  Remus stands in shock, looking down to his hand in panic as people rush to help Peter and begin interrogating Remus for answers.  Remus doesn’t respond, too in shock to give any kind of reply.  Eventually he snaps out of it and rushes over to Peter as McGonagall Levitates him, heading to the hospital with Madam Pomfrey in tow.

“Marauders with me,” Minerva orders, knowing the boys will follow regardless so she might as well make it part of the plan.  For once, the recognition of their chosen name didn’t send any kind of thrill through any of them, instead only worry as the three conscious Marauders hurry to comply.

 

“I think this endeavour of yours ought to stop now Mr Lupin.  Wandless magic is very advanced, I shouldn’t have let you pursue it at your age,” McGonagall tells him as he, Sirius, and James sit on the bed next to Peter’s.

“But Professor, I’m getting close, I’ve used it twice now!” Remus insists, he couldn’t just leave it alone, not when he’s come so far.

“Yes, and both times someone has gotten hurt,” She reminds him, he nods guiltily.

“It was only me last time, it doesn’t matter and I know I hurt Pete but –”

“You being hurt matters just as much, Mr Lupin,” McGonagall tells him sternly, “Now you’re friend as well.”

“Yes but, I know what went wrong the first time, and-and I can learn from this time so it won’t happen again.”

“And when the next ‘thing’ occurs?  How many will be in these beds then, hmm?” Remus’ brow crinkles in worry as he tries desperately to convince her.

“Please Professor, I can’t stop now!”

“You can and you will, that is my final say on the matter Mr Lupin,” She tells him sternly.

“But…”

“My _final_ say.” He hangs his head.

“Yes Professor.”

 

“Maybe it’s for the best Remy.” Sirius gently suggests as the four lay in their beds that night, Peter having been released on the condition he take the provided potion to help him sleep. Remus sighs.

“Yeah, for the best.” He rolls over in his bed, closing his eyes though knowing he will get no sleep.

 

He wakes up and feels crap.  With all of the excitement yesterday, he had completely forgotten about the full moon that evening.

“We brought hot chocolate for our resident chocolate addict, he awake yet?” Marlene’s voice comes from the direction of the doorway.

“Not that we’ve noticed,” James replies as several people enter the dorm, its then that Remus realises he feels worse than usual and quickly checks he hasn’t got the timing of the moon rise wrong. 

“He looks awful,” Mary tells them worriedly.

“Well, if your entire body was going to rearrange shape in a few hours, I’m sure you’d look horrible too.” Remus is fairly certain there were a fair few eyerolls after that.

“All right, no need to get your knickers in a twist.” Remus decides it’s time to make his wakefulness known and rolls to the side, groaning at the unexpected amount of pain.

“Remy?” Sirius asks in worry, instantly at his bedside, Remus tries to smile reassuringly, but he’s pretty sure it comes out in a grimace.

“Yeah, present,” He replies in a croaky voice, he blinks his eyes against the light a few times before giving up and laying on his back with his eyes closed, “Ow,” He mutters in complaint.  Sirius looks back to the group in open concern, Remus _never_ complains.  Not seriously.  Well, except about his wand or when people point out that he’s not okay even if he doesn’t complain.

“You all right?” James asks carefully, Remus huffs out an almost laugh that ends in wincing as the pain increases.

“Yep, peachy.  Why wouldn’t I be?” Remus responds irritably between clenched teeth.

“Hmm, curious,” Severus’ voice comes from the doorway, Remus opens his eyes and lifts his head enough to see their resident Slytherins walking in the door, he groans again as he drops his head back to his pillow, whimpering slightly when it lands.

“What is?  Do you know what’s wrong with him?” Lily asks her best friend.

“Gee Lil, dunno, could be the moon?” Remus says sarcastically, Bellatrix sees Lily’s hurt expression and rushes to explain.

“He’s like this before the moon, directly before I mean.  He’s moody, usually angry, paranoid, and frequently panicking.” Lily nods, seeming to understand and no longer be taking his words personally.

“I had wondered if using a lot of strong magic before a full moon would make things worse because the body would be weaker.  Given what happened yesterday evening, I believe I was correct,” Severus explains quietly as Remus scrunches his eyes closed, throwing an arm over his face to shield his eyes in the crook of his elbow.

“Well ain’t that fascinating.”

“A letter came for you at breakfast, the bird left it with us to deliver,”  Marlene deflects, Remus turns to look at her slightly before wincing again and giving in to the inevitable lack of movement.

“Any idea who it’s from?”

“No, but it’s addressed to ‘Loopy Lupin’ and it’s a howler,” She tells him sounding amused at the name, Remus literally growls.

“How many fucking times…” He mutters.

“Want me to open it?” He waves a hand for her to continue while sucking in a breath in response to the ache that creates.

“ _LOOPY! I HAVE NEWS, OH IT_ _’_ _S THE MOST FANTASTIC NEWS!  YOU_ _’_ _LL NEVER BELIEVE MY NEWS!  OKAY, SO, I WOULD ASK IF YOU REMEMBER JULIE CLARK BUT I_ _’_ _VE BEEN GOING ABOUT HER SINCE PRESCHOOL SO I DOUBT YOU_ _’_ _VE FORGOTTEN, ANYWAYS, SHE ASKED ME OUT! JULES ASKED ME OUT!  OH I_ _’_ _M SO EXCITED!  OH MY GOD, WHAT DO I WEAR?  IT_ _’_ _S ON SATURDAY, COME ON REM, YOU KNOW MY WARDROBE BETTER THAN I DO, DON_ _’_ _T LET ME DOWN!  AH, SO EXCITED, OH GOD WHAT IF IT GOES HORRIBLY?  WHAT AM I SAYING, I_ _’_ _M AMAZING, SHE_ _’_ _S AMAZING, EVERYTHING_ _’_ _S AMAZING!  OKAY TALK TO YOU SOON MY DEAREST BROTHER, I LOVE YOU AND WE ALL MISS YOU AND DEREK SAYS HI._ ” The howler yells, Remus wincing at the volume periodically.

“Your twin?” Bellatrix asks after a few moments silence, Remus heaves a sigh.

“Yeah, can someone do me a favour and write a reply?”  James nods before realising he can’t see him.

“Yeah, I got it.  Is she going to realise it’s not your handwriting?”

“Yes, which is why you aren’t even going to pretend to be me.  Just say Hi, your brother isn’t feeling great so he’s asked me to write this down for him, and we’ll go from there,” Remus requests, James begins writing.

“Okay, what do you want me to say?”

“The pink knitted halter top and the flare jeans she got last Christmas. Jules literally bought them for you because she thought they would look ‘gorgeous’ on you, stop panicking about the outfit and wear it. Also, congrats, say hi for me, love you, kick Derek in the balls, and complain when Mum and Dad are being cute.  Then they won’t miss me so much.”

“That everything?” James asks, Remus thinks it through and then nods.

“Yeah, she can work out shoes on her own.  Well, no, it’s an essential part of any outfit and she’ll panic, but she always chooses shoes first so she’s probably already picked them out.”

“Remind me to go to you next time I have a date and need to pick an outfit,” Lily tells him, he grins.

“Well, I also do hair and make up.” The girls laugh happily.

“Hold up, _next time_?  Lily Evans are you holding a boyfriend out on us?” James asks teasingly, she snorts.

“Not likely, have you _seen_ the guys I attract?” She replies snarkily, Sirius can’t help but snort, knowing what she’s doing to Severus and James on purpose.

“All right, I’ll run this to the owlery,” James says quickly.

“I’ll join you,” Severus adds as they both leave the room, Lily snickering after them.

“If you’re this bad now, should we just take you down to the shack?” Peter asks curiously, Remus debates this, he really doesn’t want to spend more time there than is strictly necessary, but at this point, isn’t it necessary?

“What’s the point?  He’s still going to change at the same time, right?” Sirius asks, Remus grunts in the affirmative.

“Yeah but he probably won’t be able to walk by his usual time, I’m not even sure he can manage it now.”

“So we’ll carry him.”

“I doubt Remy would want to do that if it’s avoidable.”

“If he can’t walk now then it’s already unavoidable.”

“Do you two want to shut up long enough for him to actually answer?” Marlene suggests, then something occurs to Remus.

“Where the hell has Alice been lately?”

“With Frank and his friends, we study in the common room together sometimes but other than that she’s sort of…drifted away,” Mary explains, Remus frowns, “Don’t worry, she won’t tell anyone about your little furry problem.”

“Still sounds like a misbehaving rabbit.” He sighs, “I don’t want to put anyone out by making them carry me.”

“Love, Sirius and I are going down with you anyway,” Bellatrix points out, by this point everyone had been introduced to the young wolf the same way Sirius was, but they kept it to just two going every full moon, usually those two, but if one couldn’t make it, someone else would step in.  They made sure they weren’t forgotten by Moony by bringing him out sometimes in human form, but these experiments always left Remus behaving strangely uninhibited for a few days, so they don’t do it purposely more than once a month, usually it’s a week or so before the full moon.

“Yes, and I wish you didn’t feel like you have to do that too.”

“We know we don’t have to Remy, we do it because we want to and because we love you,” Sirius tells him, then blushes, “You know, in a friendship way, or, well, Bella’s isn’t in a friendship way, but mine is, or in an almost brotherly way I guess, well, not brother exactly I mean I don’t love you the same way I love Reg, what I mean is…” Sirius stumbles awkwardly as he tries to get up to move away slightly, running his hands through his hair nervously.

“I know what you mean Sirius, chill out man,” Remus replies, Sirius just covers his face with his hands, Lily taking pity on him and gently leading him over to sit on James’ bed as Bellatrix rolls her eyes, vaguely annoyed, and takes his vacated place beside Remus.

“The point is, we’re going to be there and probably helping you down there because we care about you and worry for you, so the only thing you need to take into account here, is whether you would like to spend the next few hours laying on the bed in the shack, or right where you are.”

“It’s going to be more subtle now than later,” Remus decides a few moments later, Bellatrix nods.

“Then let’s get going.”

“We’ll walk you to the castle door, too many of us any further and we’ll attract attention,” Lily says as Sirius and Bellatrix help Remus up.  As soon as he stands, they try to see if he can stand on his own, he lasts a moment before his knees buckle, they catch him before he gets to the ground.

“Right then, let’s go,” Mary tells them, they all head out of the dormitory and then the common room, no one really batting an eye at Remus being all but dragged along by the other two.

They go slow as they move, trying to give Remus time to move his legs on his own, but on the stairs they just straight up levitate him down.  It’s not until they’ve just reached the entrance hall that they run into a problem, and that problem is in the form of Severus Snape, and Lucius Malfoy.  Or rather, Lucius appears to be the problem, if the way James is holding Severus back from attacking is any indication.  When the two see the others, their eyes widen like they’ve made things a million times worse.

“Ah, and look who it is, _as. Expected,_ ” Lucius tells them, Peter pushes Sirius away from Remus, taking over the side he had been supporting leaving Sirius free to stand in front of the group.

“There a problem here gentlemen?” He asks, crossing his arms and adopting his ‘there is only one correct answer and if you don’t give it I will grow extremely irritable’ pose and expression.

“Well, every month, our dear sweet Remy here goes to see his poor sick mummy, but see, the thing is, the only sick one seems to be him.”  Remus shrinks into himself slightly, Bellatrix pulling him closer protectively.

“Don’t be silly, he’s just not sleeping well, worried about his Mum, so we thought we’d accompany him out of the castle,” Sirius tells him calmly, he smirks.

“I suppose you wouldn’t mind if I did as well then, you know, just to keep him company.”

“I don’t know that he really wants your company Luci.” Lucius looks at him angrily as he takes a threatening step forward, Remus stands up straight, steps away from his friend and stares Lucius down.

“Take one more step closer to my friend Lucius.  I dare you,” He tells him, voice dangerously low and steady.  The paleness of him doesn’t make it less intimidating, in fact it brings out his marginally blood shot eyes and adds to the terrifying nature of his words.  Lucius gulp slightly, standing straighter and takes a step back.

“One day, Snape, one day your boyfriend and your body guard won’t be here to protect you,” Lucius tells Severus before he rushes off in the direction of the dungeons, as soon as he’s around the corner Remus collapses.

“Remy!” Sirius and Bellatrix grab an arm each and pull him up, Remus smiles lovingly at Bellatrix and thankfully at Sirius.

 

While the others head to their common room and to the shrieking shack, Lucius Malfoy goes back to his common room, Anger in every molecule of his body.  He slams the portrait shut as he walks in, walking all the way across the room, then stalking back, and then again, and then again, he does this enough that he garners everyone’s attention, and then they get bored and go back to what they were doing whilst keeping an eye on him out of the corner of their eyes.  Then his frustration reaches new levels and he slams his fist on a table near the back of the room making all the occupants of said room jump and turn, wands automatically at the ready before registry no threat to them.

“Malfoy?” Samael calls carefully, this wasn’t how Slytherins act, if something did this to Malfoy, there was no telling exactly how Lucius would react to brutal questioning.

“Lupin,.” Lucius says through clenched teeth, the whole common room gasps, looking around nervously while trying to appear calm and perfectly natural.

“What did he do? Have you seen Madam Pomfrey?” Lucius lowers his head, hunching his shoulder slightly as he leans on the table.

“He did nothing, he didn’t have to.  He never has, not since last year.”  He turns around to look at them, eyes wild, “He takes down some half-blooded wannabe first year and suddenly we are all afraid of him, and don’t deny it, it’s the truth.  It’s pathetic.  He needs to be dealt with,” Lucius sneers, the others look nervous.

“I mean, he doesn’t even have a wand at the moment,” Avery points out, Samael shakes his head.

“He’s nearly killed four people, one of them twice, since he lost his wand.  I’d rather not be next,” Samael points out, rumours about Remus tend to get…exaggerated, “We all saw what he did to Pettigrew.”

“Accidents, all of them, he’s a danger to himself and his friends.”

“And to us!” A third year calls out, Lucius sneers in their direction.

“He’s sick, and wandless.  His magic may be unpredictable, but _he_ is not.”

“What do you suggest we do?” Knott asks him, Lucius frowns, facing the table again, head hung as he considers this.  Plans and ideas rush through his head, quick as lightning, when it hits him, he raises his head slowly.

“Well?” Avery asks, recognising he has an idea.  When Lucius turns around, an evil smirk on his face, he has everyone’s undivided attention, he lifts his chin regally.

“What does one do when they find a power they do not control?”

“Destroy it?” Samael asks, Lucius looks at him like he is a disgrace.

“No you simpering simpleton! We get it on our side.”

“You want us to get Remy Lupin on our side?” Parkinson asks, Lucius nods.

“Imagine what we could do with a wizard like him in our back pocket.”

“Hate to be the one to piss all over your plans Malfoy, but, he hates us.  All of us.  The entire house.” Lucius nods again.

“Yes, he does.  Worry not my fellow snakes,” Lucius grins dangerously, “I have a plan.”

 

Two days later the group heads to breakfast, the Marauders discussing a new prank as the others resolutely do not listen to it.  Though really, Sirius, James, and Peter are discussing it, Remus and Bellatrix are trailing behind, arms around each other as he says something that makes her giggle.

“Oi, Loopy, c’mon, we need you!” James calls to him, he glares at him.

“Do not call me that James.”

“A’right a’right, calm down, just come on.” Remus kisses Bellatrix on the cheek, leaving her with the girls and hurrying to catch up with the lads.  A few moments later, something occurs to Remus and he stops walking, the others stopping with him in confusion and allowing the girls and Severus to catch up.

“Remy?” Bella asks, he just looks to the ground, hand on one hip, other foot tapping impatiently as his face scrunches up.

“Why does a unicorn still feel like a unicorn when it’s no longer a unicorn?”

“Uhhh, is this a riddle of some kind?” James asks, Remus bites his lip.

“I’m not sure, it very well might be.”

“Well whatever it is, you can work it out later, Phia should be writing you back today about her date.” Remus nods, shaking himself out of his stupor.

“Right, yes, twin first, everything else second.  Let’s go,” He says, looking up and holding a hand out for Bellatrix to take as they walk into the hall, Remus senses something coming towards him, he’s not sure how, but he does, and he turns in time to catch the scrunched up ball of parchment before it hits his head.

“Remus?” Bellatrix asks in surprise as he tosses the ball into the air and catches it again.

“Go on ahead Trixie, I’m just going to see if I can’t work out where this came from.”  She seems nervous but nods, heading in with the others.  He unscrunches the parchment and sees a note.

 _Do not sit on the left side of the table._ Remus decides looking for where it came from can wait and rushes into the room, he notices that he’s been saved a seat on the right side, but Bella is on the left.  It doesn’t take him long to decide a course of action.

“Hey Trixie, can we change seats?” Understandably, she’s confused, “Please?”

“All right,” She agrees warily, he breathes out in relief as quietly as he would have at the beginning of last year.  It doesn’t take him long to be glad he made the choice to switch places with his girlfriend, because not five minutes after he sat down, the benches on the left side of Gryffindor table vanish and everyone panics as they feel it go, only no one falls.  There’s white light glowing underneath them, it takes Remus a moment to work out why people are beginning to look at him as they all stand up, his hands are glowing white as well.

“Thanks Lupin,” Kingsley tells him, he nods, others thank him too.  He’s just glad he didn’t blow anything up or shatter anything or send anyone flying.  He stands, only reigning in his power once he was sure everyone was standing, McGonagall stalks down from the teachers table towards him and he gulps.

“Mr Lupin.”

“Okay, I know what it looks like, but I didn’t do anything to the seats, I just stopped everyone from falling, and I didn’t do it intentionally.  Not that I wouldn’t of if I knew I could, but I still didn’t do this on purpose, so you can’t possibly be annoyed at me for using wandless magic again.”  She sighs.

“Where are the benches?” He looks around and sees Lucius Malfoy, throwing a scrunched-up ball of parchment up and down, he winks at him and puts a finger to his lips in a be quiet gesture before he goes back to his food, Remus frowns as he turns back to McGonagall.

“I’ve no idea Professor, like I said, I just reacted instinctually.”  She nods, he doesn’t think she believes him, she leaves, “I feel like this group is developing a complicated on again off again teacher’s favourites relationship with Professor McGonagall,” Remus comments rather suddenly, his group looks at him for a moment before promptly losing their shit.  Then the mail comes, half of Gryffindor just kneels at the table, or, in Sirius’ case, moves the food, and sits _on_ the freaking table so that Remus can have his seat.  An envelope is dropped in front of Remus, inside are two letters and a smaller envelope.

_Loopy,_

_Okay so, the date was a total bust, but I now have a girlfriend so_ _…_ _silver linings? I have apparently inherited whatever gene allows you to be a complete mess and burnt down the restaurant.  I didn_ _’_ _t get caught though, Julie and I fled the scene._

_Maybe don_ _’_ _t tell Mum and Dad about this, yeah?  That can be even for me not telling them about the second gym incident being on purpose._

_~~Also, there~~ _ _~~’~~ _ _~~s another envelope in here, obviously, don~~ _ _~~’~~ _ _~~t know why I wrote that when you~~ _ _~~’~~ _ _~~ll obviously have seen it and I~~ _ _~~’~~ _ _~~m rambling.~~ _

_The smaller envelope is from Derek.  I don_ _’_ _t know what_ _’_ _s inside, he begged me not to look, said to send it to you.  I told him I would but no promises you would even open it._

_Anyways, missing you always,_

_The better-looking Twin_

_P.S. Say hi to that Potter friend for me :), admittedly he seems pretty sweet._

“James, what did you say to my twin?” Remus asks him seriously, James shrugs.

“I don’t know what you mean my dear friend.”

“Well, my sister said to ‘say hi to that Potter friend’ for her because ‘admittedly he seems pretty sweet.’”

“Who’re the other things from?” James asks, deflecting the question, Remus rolls his eyes before he reads over the second loose letter.

“Parents, they say hi and tell us all to stay out of trouble, bit late on that front.”

“And that?” Mary asks as she points to the smaller envelope, Remus bites his lip as he looks at it before he slips it into his coat pocket.

“Nothing important.”  The others exchange looks but leave it alone, Remus turns around to look at Slytherin table, Lucius locks gazes with him and smirks before turning back to his conversation, Remus looks troubled as he goes back to his food.

 

The next day is a Quidditch match, the group goes out to support James, and laugh at Sirius’ commentary.  Mostly to laugh at Sirius’ commentary.

On the way there, Remus sees Malfoy who nods for him to follow him down a corridor, Remus frowns but turns to his group.

“I’ll catch up with you guys, forgot I have…something…to do…” He winces at how lamely it comes out, they all raise a collective eyebrow at him before spinning on their heels and walking out of the building.  Bellatrix remains behind until he smiles at her reassuringly, she leaves.  He walks down the corridor and sees Lucius waiting for him, “Hi, erm, thanks for the warning yesterday.”

“You didn’t heed it.” Remus smiles slightly.

“I did, I swapped seats with Trixie.” Lucius seems to think he’s an idiot but glosses over it.

“Right, listen, my house is trying to get back at yours for the…rock incident…they’re specifically targeting your friends.  They know the Marauders were the masterminds behind it.  Your pet mudblo…erm…Evans, is probably going to be targeted as well given she pulled it off.” Remus raises an eyebrow at the near slip, but calms again when Lucius corrects himself.

“Why are you telling me this?” Lucius scoffs.

“I think you’ve made it quite clear how well you will take someone targeting those…friends, of yours.  I only want to make it equally clear that I am not.” Remus doesn’t buy that for a minute.

“I get that your house seems to have an illogical fear of me, it’s been fun sometimes even, but I don’t believe for a moment it goes this far because I attacked Severus a year ago.” Lucius scoffs again.

“Let us recap then, shall we?  You attack Snape, you tame Bellatrix Black into a semi-sane state, you turn Dumbledore into a pink _goat_ , you blow up your own room without a wand, you send that rat of a friend flying, and you held up half your house by sheer force of will alone, again without a wand.  Not to mention, the Blacks are rather fond of you, the senior ones I mean of course, that in itself makes you noteworthy.  We do not _fear_ you Lupin, we merely recognise power when we see it and have no wish to cross it.  But as you said, the only direct attack was a year ago, my house is getting bolder, be careful.  And watch what that Evans girl eats.” He stalks away in a huff leaving a very confused Werewolf alone in a corridor, Remus then registers exactly what Lucius has said and hurries out to the stands.

 

“There you are, Remy…what are you doing?!” Lily asks as he arrives and immediately takes the popcorn out of her hands and starts digging through it, he finds a piece of black paper on the bottom of the paper container, he throws it aside angrily.

“How much of this did you eat?!” He demands forcefully of Lily who seems mildly afraid, leaning away from him as she answers.

“A-A quarter of it, if that.”  Then she starts coughing slightly, “W-what’s happeni…” She coughs harder, Remus doesn’t think, he just lifts her up bridal style and starts sprinting down the stands and into the castle as fast as he can, he hears the others follow but digs in deep within himself to find Moony’s strength and tries to bring it forward, he’s never done that before, he’s glad it works because she’s no longer so heavy and he’s running far faster.  He leaps up stairs, jumping from one moving staircase to another instead of running the whole way up and down, eventually reaching the hospital wing, he looks at the doors, willing them to open as he closes in on them, they do.

“MADAM POMFREY!”


	15. Strange Allies

Chapter 15

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“MADAM POMFREY!” Remus yells as he runs in, putting Lily on one of the beds, noticing her eyes going blue.

“What’s happened?” Poppy hurries out of her office and over to the bed.

“A hex or curse of some kind, it was in her food, she can’t breathe,” He explains breathlessly, moving out of the way when the Matron pushes him aside.  He takes a seat on the next bed and waits, watching as the woman who has saved him so many times tries to save his friend.  It’s then that he realises the magnitude of the situation, he owes Lucius Malfoy Lily’s life.

 

Two minutes later, the others appear huffing and puffing at the door, minus James and Sirius of course.

“What happened?” Severus asks desperately as he stumbles over to where Remus is sat beside Lily’s bed.

“Miss Evans is fine, thanks to Mr Lupin’s quick thinking,” Madam Pomfrey informs them as she moves to give the unconscious girl a potion.

“Not to mention quick running,” Marlene comments, Remus smiles at her slightly.

“This should wake her,” Poppy tells them, sure enough, a moment later, green eyes open as she sucks in a deep breath, “Try to breathe normally, that’s it, good job.  You’ll be fine Miss Evans.” Lily turns, breathlessly, towards Remus, eyes filling with tears.

“Than-ank you, Re-emy,” She tells him.

“Save your breath Lily, I’m not going anywhere, none of us are,” He tells her sweetly as he takes her hand, she squeezes his.

“You’ll all have to remain here regardless, an attack of this kind must be reported to your Head of House and Professor Dumbledore,” Poppy tells them, none are surprised, they all collapse onto chairs/beds and try to catch their breath.

 

Ten minutes later, both teachers enter the hospital, McGonagall comes to a stop at the foot of Lily’s bed.

“Why is it, when something happens, it is always you nine?” She asks, Peter raises a hand slightly.

“Technically this time it’s just us seven, James and Sirius don’t even know something has happened.” She purses her lips, “Sorry Professor.”

“What happened?”

“Well, we don’t know exactly.  Remy came rushing in, grabbed the popcorn from Lily and started searching through it, then he looked angry as he threw it to the side and asked how much she had eaten.  That’s when she started choking, he just picked her up and ran, we followed,” Mary tells her, the whole room turns to Remus who shrinks in on himself.

“I just had a bad feeling, and so I rushed out, and when I got there I saw the popcorn and the bad feeling grew so I just sort of…did it,” He tells them, Bellatrix sighs, shaking her head.

“Honey, I love you very much, and you are skilled at a great many things, but lying is not one of them,” She tells him seriously, he flushes.

“Mr Lupin, this is a very serious incident, if you are protecting the perpetrator…” McGonagall begins to lecture, Remus sits up straighter.

“HOW DARE YOU!  How _dare_ you stand there and accuse me of having any part of this!” Remus tells her, absolutely livid, McGonagall takes a deep breath before she continues.

“That is not what I meant Mr Lupin, I only meant that accidents happen, as you yourself well know, and should this have been an accident on anyone’s part, anyone you may feel the need to protect, coming clean is the only way to do that.” Remus bites his lip.

“It’s not like that Professor.”

“Then perhaps you should tell us what it is?” Dumbledore tells him, Remus sighs.

“This was no accident, I don’t know who or how many, but some people in Slytherin house are angry about our musical moment in the Great Hall.  They’re targeting the house, but specifically the Marauders for planning it, and Lily for pulling it off as she did,” He explains, the two teachers share a look, Remus thinks it’s either worry or scepticism.

“That’s a very serious accusation Mr Lupin.”

“I know Professor, that’s sort of why I didn’t want to make it, I have no proof.  But it’s happened twice now.”

“The benches yesterday?” Severus asks, Remus nods.

“How did you know it would happen?  You told McGonagall that you reacted on instinct, but you were late there like you were to the Quidditch match, and when you got there you had me switch seats with you.  That put me on the unaffected side,”  Bellatrix asks, Remus has a rare moment of actually being annoyed at his girlfriend before he lets it go, it’s a fair question after all.  Remus pulls the note out of his pocket, handing it to Dumbledore who grabs it and reads it aloud.

“Do not sit on the left side of the table.”

“It was scrunched up and thrown at my head just before we entered the hall.”

“Right, you said you were going to find out where it came from,” Bellatrix remembers, he nods.

“I planned to, then I flattened it out and read it.  I decided it was more important to get inside than find the note’s origin.”

“And instead of sitting safely, you sat on the left side and put me on the right.” She smiles dopily at him, he smiles back, Peter makes gaggin noises, Remus makes a flicking motion at his nose, they are far too far for him to reach, but he uses magic to make him feel it.

“Ow!” Peter complains before looking at Remus in surprise, Remus shrugs.

“It’s how I got the door open, and stopped people from falling, and stopped the glass from hitting you guys.  I know you told me not to do it anymore, but at this point Professor, cats out of the bag.  Isn’t it better I practice until I’m no longer a danger than just hoping this stops on its own?” McGonagall sighs, bringing a hand up to her forehead before she straightens and nods.

“Very well.” Remus grins.

“Thank you, Professor.”

“Why were you late to the Quidditch stands, I assume you were given another warning?” McGonagall asks, Remus nods.

“Watch what that Evans girl eats,” He tells her honestly, “I dropped the note when I ran.” He keeps the lie short in order to be more believable, it seems to work, he wonders if this is something he can learn to do properly.  He’s not sure why exactly he’s covering for Lucius, but he did help, and somehow Remus doesn’t think the rest of his house would take too kindly to that.

“If you’re done with them, they are all free to go,” Madam Pomfrey tells her colleagues who both nod in acknowledgement.

“Should anything else occur, do let us know Mr Lupin, in the meantime we will do all we can to catch the perpetrators,” Dumbledore assures them, he’s not sure exactly what it is about the sentence that irks him so much, but Remus feels an old anger growing once again forcing him to hold back the animalistic growl that wants to emerge.  They all debate whether to go back to the match, but ultimately decide to simply return to the common room.  For some ‘odd’ reason, none of them felt comfortable out there at the moment.

 

It’s two hours later that they hear the cheering downstairs signifying the return of their house, and their victory.

“You up for that?” Marlene asks Lily who smiles and nods.

“Yeah, we shouldn’t miss it altogether.” They head down to the common room.

“There you are, you missed it!” James complains when he spots them, Lily smiles.

“Sorry we didn’t see your big win, but we can definitely help you celebrate,” She tells him as she leans forward and kisses him on the cheek, he blushes and scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

“Er, uh, th-thanks Evans,” James says before clearing his throat, “Um, c’mon, let’s join the party.” He grabs Lily’s hand and drags her into the crowd, soon followed by the others.

 

A month later, there’s been four more incidents, all of which Remus has managed to mostly divert thanks to Lucius’ ‘warnings’.  Then one day he’s rushing to potions, having stopped to go to the bathroom, when he runs right into someone.

“Fuck, I am _so_ sorry, are you all right?” Remus asks, helping the person to sit up, then realising who it is, “Oh, Lucius, hi.  Erm, sorry about that,” He tells the third year who almost seems to smile at him as he kneels to help Remus collect his books, “Thanks.”

“Is this the second book from the Willow Tree series?” Lucius asks in feigned curiosity, _all part of the plan_ he thinks to himself.

“Y-yeah, um, yes.  I have the first two, never managed to track down a copy of the third,” Remus explains as he shoves everything back into his bag, Lucius just grins at him for a moment before reaching into his bag and pulling out a worn book.

“I’ve read it enough to have nearly memorised it, you can have it if you like?”  Remus’ eyes widen as he looks at the book, one he’d been searching for for years, and then up to Lucius.

“What do you want for it?  I don’t have much money.” Lucius waves a hand in dismissal.

“How about this, proof read a HoM essay for me and it’s yours?” Remus smiles in amusement.

“Professor Binns isn’t exactly my biggest fan.” Lucius chuckles as the two stand.

“So I’ve heard, but you still get top marks, so your work must be exemplary,” He counters, Remus can’t fault the logic even if he doesn’t necessarily believe that is the case.

“All right, deal.” Lucius grins at him again as he hands the book over and pulls out his essay, handing that over to, “I’ll read it through tonight and give it back tomorrow.”

“Great, I’ll wait for you outside the Great Hall at breakfast?” Remus nods, then Lucius grimaces, “Oh, and um, use the left-hand side jar of newt’s eyes, not the right.” Remus raises an eyebrow but nods, Lucius walks away.  Remus heads to potions, immediately walking over to the side of the room with his friends.

“Which jar did you guys get your newt’s eyes from?” He asks without preamble, at this point they are used to it enough to realise he’s gotten another warning and all try furiously to remember when Peter’s potion suddenly explodes toxic gloop.  Remus carelessly throws a hand up to stop it falling on them, then the others explode too, he catches all that as well, draining it back into their cauldrons slowly, “The right-hand side then.”

“What happened?” Slughorn asks as he walks over, Remus turns to him with a sigh.

“I’m afraid we’ve been sabotaged Sir, and you should dispose of the newt’s eyes in the right-hand side jar,” Remus tells him, then another potion explodes gloop, Remus throws a hand out to catch it all, but he misses a drop which lands on Gilderoy Lockhart.  Somewhere in the back of his mind, Remus wonders what the idiot was even doing in their class, but he ignores it in favour of pouring the potion back into the cauldron despite the scream Lockhart lets out.

“Mr Lupin, would you fetch the vial on the top shelf, purple label, on the right,” Slughorn requests, Remus wordlessly calls it to his hand and gives it to him, “Thank you dear boy.”  Slughorn grabs a tissue and pours a bit of the vial’s contents onto it before dabbing at the growing burn on the Ravenclaw’s arm.  “Highly acidic substance this is,” Slughorn mutters on his breath, “You’ll be right, we caught it in time.  Good work Mr Lupin.  Right, all your potions will need to be disposed of and our ingredients all searched.  Class dismissed, please use your free time wisely.”  The class files out, meandering in the hallway as they all decide where to go.

“So, are you going to tell us what’s going on now that the third deadly prank has been pulled?” James asks angrily, Remus sighs.

“I _have_ told you.”

“Yes, the Slytherins.  I’m not denying that, but I want to know who is tipping you off, and don’t tell me you don’t know because you do.”  Remus rolls his eyes and walks away, heading to the common room. 

Remus reads through Lucius’ essay, making corrections as he goes.  He finds a piece of information that’s factually incorrect, so he crosses it out and leaves a note of a book and page number that Lucius should read for the correct information.  He goes through the entire thing and at the end has to conclude that it’s quite good work, but whatever the reading material is that the third years were told to get, is old and out-dated.  Enough that even Binns would mark it wrong, so why is it still being recommended?

 

The next morning as they all go to breakfast, he slows down outside the Great Hall and looks around, trying to spot the fairly iconic blonde hair.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asks him, he turns to Sirius and bites his lip, unsure how to explain, when he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“There you are, I had begun wondering if you planned to skip breakfast yet again.” Remus chuckles slightly.

“Not today, here’s your work, it’s pretty good.” Lucius smiles smugly.

“Thank you, how is the book?”

“I haven’t had a chance to read it yet, there was another incident yesterday.” Lucius grimaces.

“Yes, I heard about that, nasty business.” Sirius and Severus scoff in tandem before exchanging unhappy looks, the two were sort of on the outs with each other again, “Anyway, thank you again, I’ll see you around Remy.”  Remus counts the seconds after Lucius leaves, he makes it to three.

“WHAT THE EVER LIVING SHIT LUPIN?!” Severus screams at him, he turns in surprise.

“You know, I really thought it would be Sirius who yells at me.” Then grimaces as he realises that was the exact wrong thing to say, “He had the last book in a series I love, he traded it for my proof reading an essay of his,” Remus explains as they all enter the Great Hall.

“Remy, are you completely mental?” Remus sighs.

“No James, only partially and only sometimes.” James gives him a withering look, “Oh for Merlin’s sake people, I wanted the book, I got the book, he wanted an essay proof read, he got it, what is the big deal?”

“The big deal!? How about the fact that he’s trying to kill us!”

“He’s not trying to kill you,” Remus tells him as though he’s the one being an idiot.  They all take their seats, the conversation continues for a while, Remus arguing that everything is under control as they call him an idiot.

“Oh, so a book is worth betraying your friends?  Your house?” Remus looks at Sirius like he slapped him, Sirius’ eyes widen as he registers what he just said, “Remy, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Only one way that can really be taken my friend.” Remus floats a plate of cheese down the table and puts it within Peter’s reach.

“Thanks,” Peter tells him, he smiles and nods at him before turning back to Sirius who looks even guiltier.

“I will let that comment go because I know your mouth runs away from you when you are worked up, and admittedly you have reason for being so worked up, however if you ever call me a traitor again, you had better have some damned good proof.” Sirius gulps and nods quickly, Remus smiles, “Good.  Now eat some pancakes, I requested the elves make chocolate chip ones.” Sirius eyes widen as he notices the pancakes before him are his favourite.

“Thanks,” He says quietly as he grabs some, he takes one bite before he drops his fork and looks at Remus in surprise.

“Oh, I may have also given then Euphemia’s recipe, don’t worry, I asked her first,” Remus tells them, hurriedly adding the last part when James raises an eyebrow.

“Not my question, my question is why?”

“Lily and Sirius were talking a while back about both their favourite pancakes being chocolate chip, and we all know your mother’s are the best, but she’s never tried them, obviously.  So I thought I’d organise a birthday breakfast for Lily, so, surprise Lily, pancakes!” Remus tells her awkwardly, “It would have been a bit more exciting if we weren’t coming off of a…weird, conversation,” He adds, biting his lip slightly, Lily smiles brightly at him.

“You remembered my birthday?  I mentioned it once in passing last year!” Remus shrugs.

“Yes but, James and Severus remembered it,” Remus explains, leading in perfectly for the two boys to share.

“Lily, I hope you have nothing planned this afternoon, and I know you don’t because we made sure of it, because we have planned you the single most epic birthday party ever,” James tells her, she looks between he and Severus seeming totally thrilled as she squeals slightly and leans over the table to hug them both.

“Hey Remy?” Sirius says, quietly getting his attention, Remus looks at him questioningly, all sadness and anger from their earlier conversation forgotten. “You really are a fantastic friend.” Remus smiles, reaching across the table to grab his hand and squeeze it slightly before letting go.

“So are you.”  Sirius isn’t so sure that’s true.

 

They manage to keep Lily out of the common room for a few hours to give everyone a chance to set up.  At two they head back, all feeling very grateful that her birthday landed on a Saturday.  Birthdays are always better when celebrated on the actual day.

When they eventually head back to the common room, Peter ducks inside to make sure everything is ready, he gives them the thumbs up.  James covers her eyes as Severus guides her through the portrait (She wouldn’t trust James to guide her) stopping just inside the common room before James removes his hands.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”  Lily looks around and sees just about the entire house is present, all the furniture has been placed Merlin knows where, and fun games have been put in their stead.  There’s pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, a piñata, and an area set up for face painting that Sirius goes and sits at, obviously the chosen artist.

“Thank you so much,” Lily tells everyone, Bellatrix grabs a party horn and stands on the snack table, being careful of the food, before blowing it as hard as she can.

“LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!” She yells.

“WHOOO!” Lily sees Remus hurry over to a corner with a boombox set up, he puts a cassette in and her favourite song ‘I will survive’ starts playing.

“I thought muggle technology doesn’t work with all the magic around?” Lily asks loudly over the noise, Remus grins.

“I’ve spent this entire term trying to get it to work, I was about three seconds away from throwing it out the window when it finally worked, figured this was a good time to unveil that.” She grins as she holds out a hand to him, they move to the middle of the room, dancing around for a while.

The group inevitably splits up, though James and Severus stay with Lily the whole time and everyone makes sure to spend some time with her.

It’s two hours into the party that Sirius feels something in the air he hasn’t felt in a while and immediately looks around for his fellow Marauders, collecting them quickly.

“Serious dark magic guys,” He tells them, they immediately spread out, trying to find what’s been done when they feel the temperature start to drop, Remus, on a hunch, goes to open the portrait, and finds it stuck.

“Guys, I can’t get the portrait open,” He tells them when they meet back up, they look at each other worriedly.

“It’s starting to get really cold,” Peter points out, James frowns and nods, getting onto a nearby table as Remus stops the music.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please!” James calls loudly, everyone turns to look at him, some seeming to just notice the chill in the air, “I need everyone to remain calm, it appears the Slytherins are at it again.  It’s getting cold in here and we can’t get the portrait open,” He tells them all, they exchange worried looks, “We’re going to keep trying to find out what’s going on.  In the meantime, rug up, try warming charms.  If the first and second years could find an older buddy please, keep sight of your buddy.  Third years, find a buddy of your own year or older.  If anyone has any ideas, feel free to come forward.  Until then, try and stay warm and calm.  We have plenty of food and stuff to do, so help yourselves,” James finishes before he gets down, everyone slowly starts talking, but thankfully, no one’s in hysterics.  Henry and Scarlet come over to the boys along with the rest of their usual group, and Alice and Frank.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“We don’t know.” James tells him frankly (heh frank).

“You got no warning?” Henry asks Remus who shakes his head angrily.  He’s not angry at Lucius, there’s a million different reasons he might not have warned him, he’s angry at the rest of Slytherin house for ruining Lily’s birthday, and by the feel of how cold it is getting and how quickly, for once again endangering their lives.

“We need to get out of here,” Alice tells them, they all nod.

“Brilliant observation, any ideas?” Severus asks, Lily elbows him in the stomach.

“That isn’t helping Sev.” He sighs.

“Sorry Alice.”

 

Ten minutes later, they’ve resorted to desperately looking for hidden passages and the like, “I mean, surely there must be _some_. Or even just one?” but they have no luck.  Temperatures have dropped to the point of freezing when Remus sits down in a chair by the fireplace, he curses the fact that they have been unsuccessful in lighting it, though Scarlet is still trying.  Most of the house is huddled nearby it, trying to keep warm with blanket and cloaks and such.

He’s feeling in his pockets for the cinnamon stick that was once his wand, sometimes it’s just a comfort even if it’s useless, when he feels paper in his pocket.  Taking it out, he recognises it as the letter he had gotten along with his Parents’ and Sister’s, from Derek. _Well, if I_ _’_ _m about to die of hypothermia, I might as well hear what he has to say,_ Remus thinks to himself as he opens the letter.

_I miss you Sparky, and I_ _’_ _m sorry._

_I should never have left you behind._

_~ D_

Along with the note, a match falls out of the envelope making Remus smile slightly.  Then he looks up suddenly looking towards the Scarlet and then back to the match, he grins.

“You got something?” Henry calls when Remus gets up and hurries over to the fireplace.

“Maybe,” He replies, magically lighting the match in his hand, “Just maybe, they didn’t consider this,” He says as he throws the match into the fire.  The parchment they’d placed along with the logs catches immediately, and after some time and some encouraging gentle blows, the fire starts properly burning.

“YES!  I am so completely going to talk McGonagall into giving you points,” Henry says, clapping Remus on the back as everyone moves to huddle around the fire.

“Thanks Hank,” He says before he looks at James, “But don’t plan that quite yet because we are all complete idiots, OI POTTER!”

“Yeah?” James asks, Remus grins.

“Got your broom with you?”

“In the dorm, yes.”

“Anyone tried to open a window?” James looks confused.

“Of course not, we’re trying to keep the heat in…OHHH!” He says as he catches on, sprinting up to their room, Remus runs with him, shivering at the even colder room temperature up there.  He opens up the window as James mounts his broom.

“I’ll go and I’ll get help.  Just keep everyone alive until then.” Remus nods at him, James gives him a significant look that holds far more meaning than a twelve-year-old’s face should, Remus nods again.  James flies out of the window that Remus quickly shuts behind him before he hurries back down to the common room.

“Hell of a beginning to my teenaged years,” Lily says as he sits down beside her, Bellatrix shuffles over to him and curls up in his lap.  Heating charms were doing nothing, and apparently, the fire was little to no help.

“They won’t get away with this Lily, I promise you that,” Remus mutters darkly, Lily frowns.

“The last time you had that look on your face you ran off and attacked Severus.”

“What’s your point?” Remus asks with a scoff, Lily puts a frozen hand on his numb cheek delicately.

“Don’t get expelled.  We need you.”  Remus smiles at her charmingly.

“Lily, I’m a Marauder.  When a Marauder doesn’t want to get caught, they aren’t.”  She shakes her head fondly at him.

Twelve minutes and forty-five seconds later _dammit I thought I was past this old coping mechanism!_ They hear pounding on the door, Remus only now notices that the fire has died, he wonders when it happened.

“BOMABARDA MAXIMA!” They hear Dumbledore’s voice yell, all eyes widen at the thought that they had resorted to Dumbledore using that spell.  The door flies off it’s hinges, shattering to pieces as teachers come rushing into the common room to find all the students huddled together.

It takes a while, but eventually they’ve all been moved to the temporary hospital set up in the great hall, big enough to fit them all.

 

It’s not until the next evening that the remaining patients are moved to the hospital wing and the rest are released, Bellatrix and Severus stay in Gryffindor tower that night, the house slept in the common room together.  All except Remus.  He had gone in last, making sure everyone was in that needed to be, they couldn’t close the door but they put as many spells to keep unwanted visitors out that they could think of on it.  When Remus walked in, the house stopped and looked at him.

“This needs to end,” Henry tells him, Remus looks around the room and sees faces ranging from scared to grim determination, but no arguments, he nods.

“Yes, it does.”  He goes to his dorm alone. 

No one questions him then, just as they don’t when a week later he walks into the dorm, now being used, again and walks straight up to James.

“James, I need your cloak.  Trixie, the password to Slytherin’s common room.”  Both are given without hesitation.

 

The Great Hall is closed again the next day, Gryffindor House pretends not to second guess themselves, no one asks Remus what happened, no one really wants to know.  Everyone in their house is questioned, no one gives anything away.  The teachers can tell they all know something, after all not everyone is a good liar, but none say a word that gives them any proof.

 

A day later the hall is opened again, everyone enters, the school glum and quiet, ashen faced Slytherins not meeting the gaze of any Gryffindor.  When the Marauders walk in, Lucius Malfoy grabs Remus’ arm.

“Thank you, for the warning.” Remus just nods at him, “But for the record, it was never really your power we feared, it was this.  Your willingness to do what needed to be done.” Remus walks away.

The students all know who did it, and thanks to that the Teachers do too, but no one can prove it.  So the Slytherins carry on being more terrified of Remus than before, the Gryffindors slowly learn to live with their guilt, and the deadly war between the houses ends.

 

“Lucius,” Samael calls when he enters their ruined common room, everything had been burned.  The dormitories had all been protected somehow from the fire and the smoke, but the moment they had all gotten up the morning after the incident, they saw the damage that had been caused, and regretted everything. 

“Yes?”

“This needs to end now.  You know that, don’t you?” Lucius nods.

“I do.” Their home was in ruins, they were angry, and afraid, but now they knew better than to lash out at the Gryffindors.  “Now we’re in it for the long haul my brethren.  Today we are beaten, but I promise you this, in time, we will be avenged.  Remus Lupin will pay for his crimes against us, and his pet mudblood will too.”

 

By the time Remus’ birthday rolled around a little over a month later, everything seemed to have gone back to normal.  Gryffindor house may have been wary of their actions, and slightly more careful about the things they ask Remus to do, but they knew no matter what they were safe because he had their back.  The Marauders saved them time and time again, but he had ended it.  The guilt faded, as did the school’s fear, and everything was rather purposefully forgotten.

“Happy Birthday Remy!” The house calls when he enters the common room, he smiles at them all though he’s glad they don’t seem to have gone to a lot of trouble.

“We thought about doing another extravaganza, but we figured we best not jinx it,” Frank explains, Remus chuckles.

“Good call.”  They eat and chat and have food for a few hours before everyone heads to bed, the Marauders staying up in their dorm along with Severus who had moved in with them, Bellatrix had moved in with the girls of their group.  The teachers either hadn’t noticed or decided not to say anything about it.  But the Lads were glad their dorm had only had four beds, it meant they could fit another in.  James entertained that perhaps it was always meant to be this way, Remus through a pillow at him with a wave of his hand.

“So, I got you a present, obviously, but everyone helped.  They got everything you need to take care of the present,” Sirius tells him, suddenly looking rather nervous, he gets up and grabs something from beside his bed, when he turns around, a grey and white bunny is in his arms.

“Oh my Lord you actually got me a fucking rabbit?!” Remus asks excitedly as he reaches for the rabbit that Sirius happily hands over.

“We hope you don’t mind, we already named it,” James tells him, he looks at him questioningly as he holds the rabbit against his chest and strokes its soft fur.

“FLP.”

“FLP?” Remus asks, scrunching his face up at the name, Sirius laughs as Severus explains.

“Furry Little Problem, we thought we could call her flop or floppy as a nickname.”  Remus looks at the rabbit in his arms in total glee.

“Flop huh?  Welcome to the family Flop.” Then he looks at Sirius, “Where the fuck have you been keeping a fucking rabbit?”

“It was pet friendly, I promise, Flop was very happy there.  Still its…best you don’t ask questions.” Remus shakes his head as he laughs.

“Don’t worry Flop, wherever you were, you never have to go back.”


	16. Hungry Like The Wolf

Chapter 16

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

The rest of their second year was rather uneventful, Remus continued practicing wandless magic and has grown quite proficient, now using it in place of his wand as he learns spells in class.  Of course, that might have something to do with the fact that he still hasn’t managed to transfigure his wand back, but at least he had saved it from being eaten by Flop.

The group’s storage in the attic begins to get full, so James learns how to make cupboards and start building them a new one.  Their duelling grows exemplary, or as well as it can when their only opponents are second years, so they request their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher sets up a duelling club for the next year.  Apparently though, they are getting yet another DADA teacher, however the old one promised to leave their request in the notes they make for the new teacher.

Lily and Severus decide they’ve enough information on adolescent Werewolf behaviour to start putting together the behavioural section of their book and begin planning how to go about the next section.

Slytherin doesn’t cause anymore trouble, and the Marauders keep their pranks to a surprising minimum in recognition of the unspoken truce, though no one believes it will last into their third year.

They don’t manage to meet Remus’ twin in the Easter Holidays, nor does the lunch at the Blacks occur for Remus.  He had a particularly rough full moon during the first week and ended up all but bedridden the rest of the time and rather more sickly looking when they first went back to school, so both events were rearranged for the summer holidays, which thankfully, arrived in no time at all.

“Where are we meeting them exactly?” Phia asks as she gets dressed, Remus laying on her bed reading the book Lucius had given him for what _had_ to be the tenth time, at least.

“A park near Lily’s place, so yes, don’t worry, it’s surprisingly close to us so we’re just taking the bus.” Remus isn’t surprised when his sister calms down significantly now that she knows no magic will be involved in their travel.

 

An hour later the twins arrive at the park to find everyone already there, Remus grins when he sees the shortest attendant.

“REMY!” Regulus calls, sprinting over, Remus opens his arms for a hug as the eleven-year-old barrels into him.

“Hello Little Marauder, how are you?” Regulus grins mischievously.

“Brilliant!  Sirius snuck me out of the house in his bag,” He says with a giggle, Remus frowns slightly but shakes his head in amusement as he leads his sister and the excitable child over to the others.

“Phia, this is Regulus Black, that’s his older brother Sirius Black, their cousin and my girlfriend Bellatrix Black, that’s Lily Evans and her sister Petunia Evans, that’s Severus Snape, there’s Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, and Peter Pettigrew.  Guys, this is my twin sister Phia Lupin.”  Semi stilted greetings are exchanged, stilted on Phia’s end anyway, before they all sit down.  Lily sets out the picnic she, Petunia, and Severus had brought leading everyone to eat quietly.  For some reason Severus has a black eye and both Evans girls keep shooting him loaded looks while he completely ignores them.

“So…We were glad to hear your date went well,” Marlene tells Phia who smiles.

“Thanks, yeah it was good, besides, you know, the burnt down restaurant.”

“You and Jules still together?” Marlene asks, Phia nods, “That’s good, relationships forged in fire grow in strength,” She says, everyone chuckles at the pun.

“Speaking of fire, I hear you nearly burnt down a school again,” Phia says turning to Remus who glares at James, James smiles innocently at him, Remus rolls his eyes.

“I did not nearly burn down the school, I just set a room on fire.  Sort of.  It’s best no one question that too closely.” Everyone seems amused though Petunia and Regulus are confused.

“The Slytherins were endangering our lives and being total tool bags so Remus got them to stop,” Lily explains, Petunia’s eyes widen slightly, “No one was hurt,” She promises.

“Well, mild hypothermia and smoke inhalation but otherwise no one was hurt,” Sirius adds, Remus rolls his eyes at him.

“I’m sorry, can we address the fact that Phia said he’d burnt down a school _again_?” Severus asks incredulously, Remus groans and buries his face in Bellatrix’s shoulder as Phia chuckles.

“He set our primary school gym on fire twice and the library once.”

“How the hell do you manage to set a _gym_ on fire?  Let alone twice!” Mary questions, Remus chuckles.

“The second time was easy, I just repeated the first one.  But the other two were accidents.”

“So he says,” Phia adds in, he flicks her.

“What’s a gym?” Sirius asks in confusion, Phia looks at him in just as much confusion.

“It’s an… indoor sports arena, kind of.  It’s used for PE lessons in muggle schools but it’s also where people play actual sports,” Remus explains.  The three Blacks, James, Peter, and Marlene look extremely interested, Phia raises her eyebrows at him, he sighs, “You remember when I was explaining what a pureblood is?”

“Total and complete magicky blood, yep.” Remus shakes his head in exasperation at her take on purebloods but nods all the same.

“They haven’t really experienced the muggle world.”

“And…wizards don’t have gyms?” Remus shakes his head.

“Honestly, the only sport I’ve even seen a wizard or witch play is Quidditch and that’s…definitely not an inside sport.” Phia laughs.

“I know what Quidditch is Rem, Dad used to take us to games, remember?” She asks Remus who looks to the ground awkwardly, Phia notices her blunder and clears her throat, “So what do you guys like doing?  Hobby-wise.”

“Pranking people,” Sirius and James say simultaneously before high-fiving without looking at each other, Remus looks up suddenly.

“Guys, I have an idea,” He states before he pulls a notebook and a pen out of his pocket and begins writing furiously.

“Yeah he’s entertained for a few hours,” Bellatrix comments, pushing the hair out of his face to tuck it behind his ear, “He needs a haircut.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling him, for some reason he won’t let me do it for him.”

“Is that reason justified?” Marlene asks, Phia puts a hand out and tilts it sideways and back again in a fifty-fifty sort of gesture.

“What do you like doing?  Hobby-wise?” Regulus asks, parroting her words from before and making her laugh.

“Nothing too interesting, reading, writing stories, walking around and hoping I don’t get lost.”

“You like exploring?” Sirius asks, she nods, “Me too.  Look at that, didn’t I tell you we’d have things in common Remy?”

“I don’t know, you say so many things I’ve learnt to tune it all out,” Remus replies without looking up from his page.

“Did you read Derek’s note?” Phia asks Remus who stops writing and looks up at her.

“Yes, actually that damn letter may have saved our lives.”  She bites her lip as she looks at him with worry, “There was an incident, we needed fire, he sent me a match as a joke.”

“You couldn’t just…wizard up a fire?” Remus glares at her, “What?”

“Wizard up?”

“You know what I mean.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“No, we couldn’t.  They’d charmed it against magic, we still haven’t managed to undo that…I wonder if Lucius would know how,” He suddenly says before he goes back to writing, “Anyway, they hadn’t warded against a muggle match lighting the flame.  It died quickly and wasn’t very warm, but I think it’s bit of heat may have been our saving grace given the state we were all in when James got help to us.”

“Who’s Lucius?” Petunia asks, the wizards/witches all scoff save for Regulus and Remus, Reg seems confused, Remus seems annoyed.

“He’s a…well…not a friend exactly.  He’s just a guy from school that I talk to on occasion, he’s the one that gave me that book.”

“That you’ve been obsessively reading just like you did the other two books in the series?”

“Yep.”

“You know there’s a fourth one, right?” Remus looks up at her in panic until he notices her mocking look and he pokes his tongue out at her.

“ _Anyway_ he’s from a big deal pureblood family and he’s in Slytherin, so he might know what exactly they did to it.”

“I still don’t understand why you talk to him,” Sirius mutters, Remus glares at him.

“Because he’s not actually that bad.”

“He’s been tormenting Severus and Bella since they started spending time with us, he’s threatened us on numerous occasions, he tries to find out more about your furry little problem, and I’m sorry but if you think he had nothing to do with the _numerous attempts on our lives_ then you’re more of a fool than I give you credit for.”

“People can change Sirius.”

“Oh name one person who’s managed that, I mean truly.”

“Sev.  Bella.  Me.” Sirius sighs.

“Okay, people can change, but _he hasn_ _’_ _t_.  For gods sake Remy, he sides with you-know-who!” Remus rubs at his forehead with his hand, abandoning his notes.

“We don’t know that, we only know his parents do, and if you wish to condemn him for that I will punch you and call you a fucking hypocrite.” Both boys seem to back down.

“Who’s you-know-who?” Phia asks, Petunia nods along with the question.

“Erm.” James scratches the back of his neck, Severus takes his hand away.

“You’re going to make yourself bleed if you keep doing that.” James rolls his eyes but stops.

“He’s a bad person that we don’t talk about.”

“Why do you call him you-know-who?” Petunia asks, Lily flinches slightly.

“Well, we also call him he-who-must-not-be-named,” Peter offers, the magic-folk looking more and more uncomfortable.

“Why can’t he be named?” Phia questions, Remus clears his throat slightly.

“Because most of the wizarding world is too afraid to utter his name.” The two girls seem surprised by that, “He’s…he’s the Hitler of the wizarding world only much scarier.  Not necessarily worse, but more frightening.  Or maybe that’s just because it’s current and we weren’t alive in WWII, but that’s beside the point.”

“Who are the Jewish in this equation?” Phia asks Remus who awkwardly looks to Lily.

“Anyone not of pureblood descent, but muggle-borns especially, or…there’s talk of him being against non-human folk too.”

“Non-human folk?  You have monsters in your world too?!” Petunia all but yells, Lily turns to her sister, a hard look in her eye that Petunia has never seen.

“No.  They aren’t monsters.  They are just…a different sort of person.  No better or worse than we are.”  Petunia calms down significantly, clearing her throat slightly.

“What um, what kind of…different sorts of people are we talking about?”

“Oh…nothing in particular, vampires, trolls, giants, centaurs, werewolves, unicorns, dwarves, goblins, elves, dragons, I’m getting into magic creatures now.  Cross the unicorns and the dragons off that list and the rest are sentient beings.”

“But, but they’re safe?” Lily looks mildly conflicted.

“With the proper care and safety precautions, yes, perfectly safe.  Or as safe as any human anyways.”

“Don’t vampires drink people’s blood?  And Werewolves eat people?  Or is this humans, um, I mean muggles getting it wrong?”

“Vampires do drink blood, but not by killing people.  Werewolves are severely misunderstood, they’re perfectly docile if cared for properly while in wolf form, but most people are afraid so they’re mistreated and end up becoming the very thing people were afraid of to begin with.  This came up in class actually, our Professor said that humans are afraid of Werewolves because they don’t understand, and what humans fear ends up being in more danger than the thing posed to begin with.  Or something along those lines.  But that’s werewolves, that’s most non-human species actually,” Marlene explains, Petunia nods thoughtfully.

“Oh please don’t remind me of that lesson,” Lily says, mortified, as she drops her face into her hands.

“Are you still embarrassed that Minnie walked in on you standing on Binns’ desk yelling at him?” Sirius asks teasingly.

“Shut it Black, I’m sure people have walked in on you doing far worse.” Sirius exchanges looks with Marlene.

“Think she realises what she just said?” He asks.

“Nope, but she will in a moment.”  A few moments later Lily’s face screws up in disgust as she hits Sirius in the back of the head.

“That is disgusting!”  They all laugh, Remus looks to his sister who seems happy as she looks around the group, she turns to Remus and smiles kindly and supportively, nodding her head once.  He understands.  He always does.

“So I’ve been meaning to ask, who in Merlin’s name is Derek?” James asks Remus who ducks his head in something akin to shame.

“Bad news.  We haven’t spoken since I started at Hogwarts, I don’t know why he’s reaching out now.  I um, I sent a reply though.” That last bit is mainly to Phia who seems shocked.

“Mum and Dad will kill you.”

“Don’t tell?”

“’Course not.” They share a grin, “So Bella, you and my twin huh?”

“Oh fuck, Phia, really?” Remus whines, everyone laughs at him.

 

A week later Remus nervously stands in front of James’ bedroom mirror, the Marauders are staying at James’ place again, Remus leaving for the full moon and returning, but tonight he leaves for dinner with Druella and Cygnus Black III.

“Drom will be there at least, and Bella,” Sirius points out, Remus takes a shaky breath.

“Right, remain calm, it’s not as though Trixie even cares about their opinion,” Remus tells himself.

“Yeah and it’s not like they’ll actually kill you, hopefully.  Just remember though Bella’s crazy act is going to be on full,” James reminds him, the other three turn to glare at him, he holds his hands up in surrender, “Sorry.”  Suddenly the door opens behind then and a smugly grinning girl stands in the doorway, Remus seems to just melt in relief.

“PHIA!” He yells launching himself at his sister who hugs him tightly, “What are you doing here?  How did you get here?”

“Well, I figured you’d be freaking out so James and I planned for his parents to meet me in Diagon Alley and bring me back here through the weird fireplace thingy.” Remus looks at her in shock.

“You entered the wizarding world?  And used a floo?”

“Haven’t I said this enough Rem?  Anything for you Brother.  Now, please tell me you’re going to do something with your hair.”

 

An hour later, Remus exits the floo into his Girlfriend’s home at 6pm sharp.  He’s not all that surprised to find Cygnus waiting for him as he smokes a pipe.  Though honestly, Remus hadn’t known wizards/witches smoked, surely it’s not normal tobacco?

“Lord Black,” Remus greets with a bow, “It’s an honour to see you again, My Lord.” Cygnus seems pleased, well, not pleased exactly but Remus doesn’t think he’s performed a horrible blunder of decorum.

“Mr Lupin, a pleasure.  Please, come this way.” Remus bows slightly again as Cygnus leaves the room, following silently behind him.  He’s led into a dining room where the rest of the family, and to Remus’ surprise, Lucius Malfoy, are already seated.

“Ah, Mr Lupin, how nice of you to join us,” Druella tells him, he smiles politely bowing slightly.

“Lady Black, may I say you look lovely this evening.” Druella smiles slightly and inclines her head, now _she_ looks pleased.  Remus doesn’t think he imagines Bellatrix snickering.

“Remus, how wonderful, I hadn’t been aware of your attendance,” Lucius tells him as he walks over and shakes his hand.

“Nor I yours, but it’s a pleasure to see you again Lucius.”

“Likewise.”  Remus turns his attention to Narcissa who has walked up to him with a snarl on her face.

“Lupin.”

“Miss Black, as beautiful as ever.” Bellatrix snickers again and Remus can’t bring himself to feel bad for the not-quite insult.  Andromeda walks over and apparently decides ‘fuck decorum’ for she pulls him into a hug.

“Hi Remy.”

“Hey Drom, nice to see you again.”

“And you, how’s Sirius?”

“Last I saw, he was laughing at James whose Mother was telling him off for the cinnamon stick incident.” Narcissa, Lucius, and Bellatrix all look varying levels of amused at that causing the other three occupants of the room to grow intrigued.

“Cinnamon stick?” Druella asks, Remus can’t help the slight chuckle that escapes him as he pulls the cinnamon stick out of his pocket.

“I’m not entirely sure why I even still carry it, useless as it is now, but this was my wand.”

“What?” Dromeda asks disbelievingly, Remus nods.

“Yes, we were told to stop pranking other people so we decided to have a prank war within the Marauders.  James Potter transfigured my wand into a cinnamon stick, Professor McGonagall was quite upset and banned anyone from helping me turn it back, said I should figure it out myself. She gave in on that later that day when she had calmed down but…”

“By that point you’d already accepted the challenge?” Lucius asks in amusement, Remus nods almost solemnly.

“How have you been going through school?” Cygnus asks looking mildly horrified at the thought of a wizard not having a wand.

“I taught myself wandless magic, there were a few…incidents…”

“Near deaths,” Narcissa chimes.

“But I got there in the end.”  Bellatrix suddenly gets up and skips over to him, throwing her arms around his neck and nuzzling her head into his chest, he chuckles indulgently as he wraps an arm around her.  Her parents watch with interest to see how he deals with her crazy.

“Hello Dear.” She smiles and giggles.

“I can hear you breathing.” He smiles.

“Well that’s a relief, I’d hate to think you couldn’t.” She giggles again.

“Why don’t we all have a seat?  We’re still waiting on a few people.” Lucius and Remus exchange confused looks.

“How’s the book?” Lucius asks him, he smiles.

“Wonderful, my sister keeps complaining that I’ve read it enough to memorise it and should listen to all her problems more often.”

“You adore your sister, her problems _are_ your problems,” Bellatrix says suddenly, Remus nods, he can’t really deny that allegation.

“You have a sister?” Lucius asks in surprise, Remus grimaces slightly as he nods.

“A twin, yes.”

“Why isn’t she at school?” Narcissa questions, unable to hide her curiosity, Remus hesitates, looking to Bellatrix quickly, she nods subtly.

“She didn’t want to go.  My sister has a…less than stellar view of wizards.” Everyone seems very confused, Bellatrix giggles.

“I’m sure Lucius could change her mind, when he’s not too busy with Cissy of course.” She laughs manically, Lucius choking on his drink slightly as Narcissa blushes.  Andromeda looks extremely amused, he imagines that just like him, this is far more enjoyable when you know she’s putting it on.

“Bellatrix!” Druella chastises, “We have guests!”

“They’re dating Mother, I’m sure he’s more than used to it,” Andromeda points out as they hear the floo activate, Cygnus and Lucius stand, Remus following their direction, as Walburga Black enters with her husband and youngest son.

“Remy!” Regulus calls happily, running and jumping at Remus who catches him with a smile.

“Hey Reg, how you doing?” Regulus smiles.

“Well, what I thought would be a boring and stuffy dinner just got a lot better.”

“Now Regulus, you shouldn’t talk about your family that way, they do a lot for you,” He says while internally laughing, Regulus winks at him, knowing none of the others can see.

“Of course, sorry Mother, Father, Aunt, and Uncle.” The four adults seem surprised, Andromeda and Lucius seem amused.  Remus remembers what Andromeda said about Regulus being excitable lately and wonders if this is the most well-behaved he’s been in a while.

“Lord and Lady Black, how wonderful to see you both again,” Lucius says with a bow as he kisses the back of Walburga’s hand, Remus bows before them.

“My Lord, Milady,” Remus greets, not kissing her hand, he’s half-blood, he knows it would be viewed as disgusting.  Sirius’ parents seem disgusted by his presence, but Druella and Cygnus seem happy with his decision here as they notice it to be a conscious one.  He thinks it actually helps back up his whole ‘ashamed with his blood status’ thing, assuming Narcissa hasn’t completely given that away.  They all sit at the table as Remus wonders how much Sirius is going to freak when he gets back to the Potters.

They chat idly for a while as the food comes out, it’s ten minutes into the meal that the subject of muggle-borns comes up.

“I don’t see why those filthy mudbloods are allowed in that school,” Walburga says, Narcissa and Lucius exchange afraid looks as they turn to Remus, Druella and Cygnus notice the fear and take note of it.

“What are your thoughts on the matter, Remus?” Cygnus asks him, Remus wonders when he stopped being ‘Mr Lupin’ and whether or not that’s actually a good thing under the circumstances, after all it could be that he isn’t worth the amount of respect, or that they are fond enough with him to be on slightly friendlier terms.

“I believe that banning them would be rather counterproductive,” He says, Lucius sighs internally.

“How so?” Orion asks him, it’s the first thing either of Sirius’ parents have said to him, Remus clears his throat slightly.

“Protection of the wizarding world.”  All seem intrigued, “Half-bloods are one thing, wizards and witches marrying muggles is just endangering our world, but you cannot stop muggle-borns being born.  Banning them from attending Hogwarts means you have magical people in the muggle world with no idea how to control their magic.  It would be a major risk of exposure.”  The adults look at each other as they try valiantly to dismiss him but…sort of can’t argue with the obvious logic, “I’ve always thought that if you can’t change something, you might as well find the best way you can to have it work in your favour, in this case, that means bringing them in to protect ourselves.”

“What if one could find a way to stop mudbloods from being born?” Lucius asks curiously, Remus debates that for a moment.

“Professor Binns told us in class once that if you want change, it is not the ministry you need to convince, but everyone else, until the ministry has no choice but to listen.  So one would have to find a way to do so, convince the rest of the wizarding world to use it, have the ministry pass a law on it, and then manage to put it into action despite the best efforts of the inevitable rebellion.  It also wouldn’t help with the muggle-borns already around, they certainly would never stop fighting against this and their numbers are growing quickly, along with their supporters.  It would be rather ineffectual,”

“What would you suggest?” Walburga asks, Remus is rather surprised at that, she seems surprised herself.

“Well, I’m rather fond of solutions that don’t end in death.” Narcissa openly scoffs at that, “If you really wanted Muggle-borns out of our society without risking exposure, teach them to do magic safely, then get them to leave back to the muggle world.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.” Narcissa smirks.

“Oh come now Remy, you’re the schools resident ‘end this, now’ wizard.  How would one end this?  Theoretically of course.” Remus stares at her for a moment and she quickly shrinks back in on herself, Bellatrix kicks his shin under the table, Remus clears his throat.

“As far as I can see there are two options.  Bind their magic upon graduation, a bad idea if they’ve already been taught, they may work out how to undo it or find a sympathetic wizard or witch to do it for them.”

“Or?” Remus looks at Cygnus calculatingly.

“Make them want to.”  Cygnus raises an eyebrow, Remus smirks as he looks to Narcissa and Lucius, “Fear can be a powerful motivator when you want someone to follow your direction.” The two Slytherins quickly look back to their food, “It’s not enough for them to be outcasts and hated, one can put up and deal with diversity, no, they need to fear remaining here.”  The others in the room don’t really seem to know how to react as Remus simply keeps on eating as if he were talking about the weather.

“You remind me of someone,” Cygnus tells him, he looks up at the man in interest, “A man named Roana Gaunt.”

“Who’s Roana Gaunt?” Cygnus smiles lightly.

“Who indeed.”  Remus isn’t sure how to take that, none of the other kids seem to either, but the adults seem pleased with the way this has gone.  Remus wishes he would learn when to stop thinking so critically and forgetting exactly what it is he is suggesting.

 

An hour later, Remus is getting ready to leave, Walburga and Orion having agreed Regulus can go with him to see his brother before he comes home.

“Can I go too Mother, Pleeeaaseeeee?” Bellatrix requests, her parents exchange looks.

“You nearly behaved, so yes, but return quickly.”  The three head to the Potter Mansion where they find the Marauders and the Potters awaiting Remus’ arrival.

“ARE YOU COMPLETELY BATSHIT?!” Bellatrix yells at him the second they arrive, Remus buries his face in his hands.

“I’m sorry I got caught up in the tactics I completely forgot the subject matter,” He admits, Bellatrix’s glare intensifies.

“Well congratulations, you got them to agree that Muggle-borns should be allowed at Hogwarts.”

“He, what?  Wow, congrats Remy!” James says, Regulus shakes his head wildly.

“Instead, they’re plotting ways to make them fear for their lives upon graduation so that they will choose to return to the muggle world.”  James frowns, the room seeming to stop breathing.

“Oh…I take back the congrats…”

“Yes, I know, I fucked up, and Lily’s going to kill me.”

“How do you manage this shit every time you talk with these people?”

“Wait, Reg, what are you doing here?” Sirius asks him, Regulus shrugs.

“Mother, Father, and I were invited to join them for lunch, so I came to say hi afterwards.” Sirius hugs his brother before he looks at Remus.

“You had lunch with my parents?”

“I didn’t know they would be there!”

“They seemed to like him,” Regulus says as though that makes it better.

“Euphemia, Monty, have either of you heard of a man named Roana Gaunt?” Both look at him in mild horror.

“Yes.”

“Who is he?” They exchange looks.

“He wasn’t there too, was he?”

“No, he just came up in conversation.”  Fleamont visibly hesitates before he takes a seat on the couch.

“That is the name of a very troubled young lad we went to school with. Roana…he had a lot of issues and it led him to do very dreadful things, commit the most horrendous crimes imaginable, save for those of you-know-who of course. He’s missing though, presumed dead, has been for years.” Remus pales, looking to Bellatrix and to Regulus, both of whom look just as sick and horrified.

“But, I-I didn’t say anything that bad.  I mean, a few tactical suggestions that started as my attempt to help and derailed but…but nothing, nothing like that!”

“Does the sentence, ‘fear can be a powerful motivator when you want someone to follow your direction’ ring any bells?” Bellatrix asks him, Remus bites his lip.

“I was just trying to get Narcissa to shut up, which worked!” Bellatrix buries her face in her hands.

“It’s fine, it’s all okay.  You know it isn’t true, what they said, because you were lying about everything, right?”

“I mean, I don’t believe it necessary, but they were valid suggestions.” Bellatrix glares at him, “What?”

“I’m going home, try not to run any muggle-borns out of our world while I’m gone.” She leaves in a huff.

“So I’m guessing it went well?” Sirius asks, Remus glares at him.

“I should go too,” Regulus tells them all, “I’ll see you guys at the train station.”

“Yes, for your first year at Hogwarts,” James says excitably, “Little Brother’s growing up!” He says while he wipes away a fake tear, Regulus shoves him playfully as he blushes.  He hugs his brother goodbye before he leaves.

“Let’s forget that entire situation ever happened,” Remus requests.

“Yes, I think that might be for the best,” Euphemia agrees.

“I have a question, why didn’t Phia just floo over from your place?” Peter asks, Remus shuffles on his feet slightly.

“She lives in blissful ignorance that anything magical exists in our house.”

“Why does she hate magic?” James asks like he can’t hold the question in anymore, Remus sighs.

“Because of me.”  He’s treated to many a confused look, Remus shakes his head as tears fill his eyes, “It’s just, well how would you feel if this world you had loved and adored for the first five years of your life would so easily ridicule and cast out and even hunt down your brother for something he can’t control?” They all exchange looks before as one they hug Remus.

“That isn’t your fault, and she seems to be opening up to the idea of us.”

“Only because of what everyone said when Petunia was asking about monsters.”

“Then we’ll keep doing that, and we’ll tell her about others that don’t have a problem with your species, and we’ll tell her how we’re working to change everyone’s view on Lycanthropy.”

“The bitterness has gone too deep James, it’s not just that anymore, it’s their reactions to half-bloods and muggle-borns, all other kinds of non-human creatures, she just blames Wizarding society for everything now, especially my frequent injuries and consequent misery.  Years of hatred won’t be undone by a few nice words.”

“Aren’t you the one that said people can change?” Sirius asks him, he looks at the boy, feeling a spark of hope that his twin might come around and the growing space between the once inseparable pair may be demolished, he nods.

“Yes, yes I did.”

“So, what was this prank idea of yours?”

 

 

On the morning of September first, Remus Lupin manages to walk from the platform entrance and over to his friends without bumping into anyone.

“Woohoo, you made it and everyone’s alive!  Why are you bleeding?” Sirius asks, Euphemia pulling out her wands and healing the small cut on his eyebrow.

“I, um, missed the gate a bit,” He explains as his parents silently laugh at him.

“How’s Flop?” Mary asks, Remus pouts.

“You only like me for my coincidentally poorly behaved rabbit.” Mary grins.

“Truth.” Remus pulls Flop out of his pocket and hands her over.

“I still don’t understand why Flop likes my pocket so much.  Got a proper carrier and everything, nope, won’t settle unless she’s in my pocket or being held.”

“FLOP!” Bellatrix calls as she arrives and runs over to the group.

“Oh sure, ignore your friends, your boyfriend, and your beloved cousin, go to the rabbit,” Sirius complains, Bellatrix pokes her tongue out at him, Regulus laughs at her.

“Bellatrix, we’ve talked about this, proper decorum in public,” Druella tells her youngest daughter sternly.

“Yes Mother, but, Flop!” Bellatrix explains, taking the rabbit from Mary and holding her up to show her Mother who seems completely unamused.

“Remus, how lovely to see you again,” Druella tells him, he smiles and bows slightly.

“Milady, you’re looking as exquisite as ever,” He tells her, she smiles almost pleasantly at him, “Dad, Mum, this is Lord Cygnus Black III and Lady Druella Black, Trixie’s parents.  My Lord, Milady, this is my Father, Lyall Lupin, and my Mother, Hope Lupin,” Remus introduces politely, unsurprisingly they look over Hope with distaste but, to their credit, say nothing offensive.

“Your son is quite the charmer Mr Lupin,” Cygnus tells Lyall, ignoring Hope entirely, Lyall doesn’t appreciate that.

“Yes, he gets it from his Mother.” Remus winces slightly at that.

“We had best be off I think, do try to behave this year Bellatrix.  You get in far too much trouble, I’ll never understand why you can’t just behave like Narcissa does,” Druella tells her daughter before the two eldest Blacks leave.

“ _Why can_ _’_ _t you behave like Narcissa does,_ ” Bellatrix mirrors mockingly, “Honestly, Narcissa this, Narcissa that, Narcissa everything!  Merlin knows why they even _have_ other children, the way they go on about her.” Remus wraps an arm around her waist.

“You all right Dear?” Bellatrix huffs but nods.

“Ever since the comment I made at lunch, they’ve been unimpressed with my behaviour constantly.”

“I mean, you did imply that when Lucius finishes defiling your sister he could move onto mine to make her like wizards.”

“I was trying to save you from explaining your magic hating sister!  They wouldn’t have really taken kindly to that.”

“I know, and I appreciate that immensely.  Plus, it was worth it to see Lucius choking on his drink in surprise.” Bellatrix laughs.

“Malfoy was there too?” Peter asks in surprise, Remus nods as he looks off in the direction Druella and Cygnus had gone.

_They want something from me, what is it they could possibly want?_


	17. Reason #2 Why McGonagall Both Hates and Loves The Marauders

Chapter 17

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

It’s nine O’Clock the night they arrive at Hogwarts, Gryffindor house sits in the common room, save for the first and second years who have all gone to bed, along with some of the third years, when McGonagall stalks into the room looking unimpressed yet amused.

“What do you have to say for yourselves?” She demands as soon as she spots them, their housemates all look to them wondering what they could have possibly _already_ done, Remus smiles innocently.

“I apologise Professor, we were…una _ware_ that there was a problem.” McGonagall’s lip twitches traitorously as she tries to ignore the pun, his friends don’t bother and chuckle.

“Ten points from each of you, and five to whoever managed to pull it off,” She says before leaving, the four start laughing.

“What did you lot do?” Alice asks, unsurprised when Bellatrix and Severus enter the common room a minute later, more surprised than she should have been really when Regulus is with them.

“You have a little foam in your hair Reggie,” Sirius tells him, he glares at his brother.

“Where did you even get the idea to do that, let alone the spell?  Who sits around one day and thinks ‘you know what I’m going to do as soon as I get back to school?  Fill the Slytherin common room with a bunch of foam cubes so that they have to spend fifteen minutes digging their head of house out after he falls in’?”

“Remus,” Peter, Sirius, and James all say, Remus shrugs.

“All the talk about gyms had me remembering the days when Phia was doing gymnastics and I got to play in the foam pit.”

“Did you set it on fire?” Regulus asks him snarkily, Remus smirks.

“Low blow.  I’m proud.” Reg grins and finally joins them where they sit.

“Lucius says hi, I think him asking me to deliver the message was his form of an apology for last year,” Severus tells him, Remus smiles lightly.

“So Phia lifted her ‘Don’t ever even say my name to a magic-type person or I will punch you in the dick’ rule?” James asks Remus whose face darkens.

“No, but she was a bitch so I decided I don’t fucking care.”

“And now I feel your dick,” Sirius says sympathetically earning quite a few incredulous looks and a slight bitter one from Bellatrix before he realises what he said and goes bright red, “Sorry for, I feel sorry for your dick, cos she’ll punch it, and, I hate myself sometimesI’mgoingtobednight.” He rushes off to the dorm leaving behind some very confused but not very surprised housemates, then there’s Remus.

“He really doesn’t think what he says through when he’s tired,” Remus comments with a sigh, Bellatrix looks at him incredulously.

“ _That_ _’_ _s_ what you got from that?!”  He looks at her, wide-eyed and confused, “HOW THICK CAN YOU POSSIBLY _BE_?” She yells, he looks hurt and very confused, she rolls her eyes, “I’m going back to my dorm, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” She gets up, walking through the portrait and back to the Slytherin common room, Remus doesn’t think he imagined the tears in her eyes.

“…Umm, WHAT?!” He calls as he follows her out of the portrait, or tries, but James grabs his arm and stops him.

“Just, give her some space tonight, yeah?”  Remus turns to him, expression one of pure incredulity.

“I don’t even know what I’ve done!  Why is she mad at me?  Did I miss something?!”

“Remy calm down, she’s fine.  Everything is fine.  She and Sirius are just having a slight disagreement.”

“What’s that got to do with me?” He asks, desperately confused.  James scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, looking around at his housemates and friends for some help dealing with his entirely too oblivious friend.  Luckily, Lily jumps to his aid.

“Nothing Remus, it has nothing to do with you, it’s their problem and they’ll sort it.” Remus sighs deeply and nods, looking completely miserable as he says goodnight and goes to bed.

“That kid is way too pure for this world,” Marlene says after he leaves, Henry looks at the stairway he went up as he replies,

“Merlin I hope that lasts.”

 

The next morning at breakfast, the group sits at the head of the table, housemates kindly moving down to make room for them so that they can stay with Remus as he nervously paces at the end of it.  Eventually Bellatrix, Regulus, and Severus turn up, Severus and Regulus surprisingly heading to the Slytherin table as Bellatrix goes straight to her boyfriend.  Even fighting, everyone watching can see both of them light up slightly at the sight of each other, Sirius mopes into his porridge.

“Trixie, Hi.  I um, I’m really sorry about last night,” Remus tells her, she looks at him in shock.

“You-what?”

“I er, the others told me about you and Sirius having a problem at the moment, but neither of you had told me so I didn’t know but I should have realised and-and so I’m sorry I was annoyed after you left,” He tells her, she looks at him like he’s the most adorable puppy she’s ever seen.

“Sometimes I really wonder how you are even real.”

“What?” His face screws up in confusion, Bellatrix sighs and takes both his hands.

“I threw a tantrum and stormed out like a toddler, _I_ _’_ _m_ the one who’s sorry Remy.  I behaved poorly and you didn’t know what was happening and none of it was fair to you.”

“No, I should have been paying more attention to you, I’m sorry.” Bellatrix goes to open her mouth again when a voice calls over from Slytherin table.

“For Merlin’s sake, just kiss and make up!” The entire hall starts laughing as Remus glares at Regulus before pecking his girlfriend on the cheek and leading her to sit down at the Gryffindor table with the others.

“Severus is sitting with them to keep Reg company, he wants to make friends of his own in his house.  Not that he doesn’t love you all but as he put it, you’re like some weird combination of older siblings and aunts and uncles and he wants to meet people on his own.  But we didn’t want to leave him alone in there in case anyone takes the issues they have with Sirius out on him,” Bellatrix tells them all, they nod, now understanding.

 

Nothing much happens for the next two months, though Remus thinks Sirius is keeping his distance from him.  They’re never alone together, Sirius always makes sure to sit/stand on the other side of their large group from him, and when they are both awake at night Sirius pretends to sleep like Remus doesn’t recognise the difference in his breathing pattern.  James seems quiet and mopey, often being found staring out into space.  On one memorable occasion, Emmeline Vance had found him nearly in tears in the common room and asked what was wrong, to which he stood up, screamed, ‘I’M A USELESS FUCKING PRICK AND NOTHING WILL EVER MAKE THAT OKAY AND IT’S ALL MY DAMNED FAULT!’, went to the dorm, and didn’t leave his four-poster for the rest of the night.  Nor did he ever explain.

Then one day, the group is in History of Magic, Remus arguing with Binns, when Dumbledore walks in looking grave.

“…get a book that actually has _factual_ facts instead of the shit you’ve been teaching us!” The class groans knowing this would be a while, Gryffindors groan loudest of all as they say goodbye to the points they are no doubt about to lose, then Dumbledore clears his throat before Binns has a chance to speak.

“Headmaster, what can I help you with?” The ghostly Professor asks, thankful for the interruption, Dumbledore’s faint amusement at the constant rivalry between student and teacher fades completely.

“I wondered if I might have a word with Mr Snape in my office?”

“Yes of course,” Binns replies, Severus looks concerned but obediently gets up.

“Bring your things Severus, I doubt you’ll be returning by the end of class.”  Severus packs his stuff up and follows the Headmaster in nervous silence.  Eventually the two reach his office where Dumbledore tells him to take a seat.

“What’s this about Sir?  Whatever it is, it was probably James.” Dumbledore smiles sadly at him.

“Now that does not sound like the basis of a healthy relationship.”  By the twinkle in his eye, Severus is pretty certain Dumbledore knows they aren’t really dating, he takes a moment to wonder why they haven’t told the truth yet…

“Somehow I don’t think my love life is what you called me in here to talk about Headmaster.” The grave look obscures the man’s usually jovial mood once again as he nods seriously.

“I have received some bad news, apparently a letter was going to be sent informing you of the situation, but I requested to be the one to inform you instead of a _letter_.”  Severus has never heard Dumbledore seem more disgusted by something than he did in that moment, as if sending whatever news this was in a letter was the most heinous of crimes.

“Wh-what is it?” Dumbledore sighs.

“I’m very sorry to tell you this Severus but…your Mother and Father were found dead this morning.” Severus breathes in a sharp intake of breath.

“He killed her?” He asks in a broken whisper, Dumbledore hesitates with the truth for a moment before realising it would be entirely pointless to lie, he nods,  “What the fuck happened to _him_?!” Severus asks in sudden anger, as if the man didn’t deserve death, _or perhaps_ Dumbledore thinks sadly _, he merely wanted to be the one to do it_.

“I’m not sure you should…”

“ _How_.” Dumbledore sighs again, leaning forwards and resting his hands on his desk.

“Your Father, he…he committed suicide Severus, officially they believe the actions that lead to your Mother’s death caught up with him and…”

“That’s fucking bullshit, the bastard probably got off on what he did to her!  What right did he have to feel _anything_ about her death?! HE SHOULD HAVE SUFFERED FOR IT!” Dumbledore looks at him carefully.

“Severus, I know this will be a difficult time for you…”

“Like _fuck_ you know.”

“…but I implore you, please, lean on your friends for support.  Your Mother may be gone, but you are never alone,” Dumbledore finishes, ignoring his comment.

“I want to see her,” He replies curtly, evidently ignoring Dumbledore as well, the old man sighs but nods.

“Come with me.”

 

After class, the group, including Alice and surprisingly Frank, went to wait outside Dumbledore’s office.  Fifteen minutes of idle chatter and anxious pacing later, a very angry Severus emerged.

“What did he do?” Remus asks in concern, Severus sneers at him, he instinctively wants to growl back but instead moves away a step.

“Nothing, that’s what happens when you’re an insufferable know-it-all Lupin, you make wild accusations and get it completely fucking wrong when it wasn’t even your business to begin with!” With that he turns to stalk off, but James grabs his arm, he turns and shoves him to the ground.

“Sev!” James calls in confusion, Severus’ sneer increases.

“Fuck off and leave me the hell alone, _Potter,_ ” He spits before he begins to walk away.

“WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF BEING A TOTAL GIT TO THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO _ACTUALLY_ CARE FOR YOU?!”  Severus froze, turning his head back only slightly, enraged at how true those words now were.

“Don’t you have a pet Werewolf to trail after, _Black_?” He leaves, the entire group in a state of sickened shock before Frank clears his throat awkwardly.

“So, one of you is a Werewolf?” He asks quietly and carefully, they all look at him wide-eyed.

“NOPE OF COURSE NOT!” Peter literally shouts, the others all groan or facepalm.  Frank looks around the group carefully, gaze lingering over Peter, then Remus, then James, then he takes a step back and puts his hands up in surrender.

“I don’t need to know who.”

“I-It doesn’t bother you?” Lily asks carefully, Frank looks them all over calculatingly.

“Any other situation, I may be a little freaked out.  But I know you all, if one of you _is_ a Werewolf, then clearly they aren’t all that bad.”  He’s not sure his words are really worth the blinding admiration that comes across all their faces, but it’s Lupin’s he sees tears shining in.  He instantly remembers the second disagreement of the Binns/Lupin blackhole of suckdom, as well as all his ‘visits to his Mother’ and smiles slightly as he moves and helps James stand, “So no, it doesn’t bother me at all.” He makes sure not to keep eye contact with Lupin, best the boy not freak out in the middle of the hallway like he did in the Great Hall…now Frank remembers the topic of conversation and has to hold back a chuckle, “I think I’ll be off now, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help Severus when you find out what the hell just happened.”  He raises an eyebrow at Alice who bites her lip, looks over the group, and then turns back to Frank.

“I’ll catch up with you later.” Frank nods, seeming pleased with her decision to remain behind, he waves as he leaves.

“Are we going to address what just happened here?” Marlene asks, the entire group looks worried, well, all except Remus, he looks at his shoes,  “Remy?” Remus looks up at her though he doesn’t really seem to be focusing on her.

“You okay?” James asks, putting a hand on his arm, Remus steps back a little, pulling out of the grip.  He rubs his hand up his arm awkwardly as he tries to chuckle.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?  Your not-boyfriend just shoved you.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Sirius comments suddenly, everyone turns to him in surprise, “I get anger, I say stupid shit when I’m angry too, and I could deal with shoving James if he apologised like crap once he’d calmed down.  But he just about exposed Remy to Longbottom, and that isn’t okay.” 

“Sirius it’s fine, really.”

“No, it’s not,” Lily mutters quietly, “But instead of getting angry, can we take a moment to appreciate how major an event it would take to have Sev risk Remy so much and not care?  Yes, I hate that he did it and I will back whatever Remus decides to do about that when this is fixed, but seeing as Frank took it fine, it’s not an immediate problem.  Whatever is happening with Severus _is_.”

“Not an immediate problem until he says something like that in front of the wrong person,” Sirius mutters, Bellatrix rounds on him.

“For the living fuck of Merlin, you are _not_ the only one who cares about Remy!  But as much as I like to pretend otherwise sometimes, he’s not the only person in the world.  How little must you care for all of us if you’d just forget a year and a half of friendship over this?  It could have been worse and he needs to know that, but it _wasn_ _’_ _t_ , so can we focus on helping the friend that actually needs it before he gets himself punched?!” Sirius steps back awkwardly, he seems hurt by her words but nods.

“Yeah.  Sorry.” She huffs out a breath, calming herself down.

 

The group heads to dinner, managing to catch up with Severus before he sits down thanks to the secret passages the Marauders have a working knowledge of.

“Severus, please talk to us, talk to _me,_ ” James requests, following the boy inside the Hall, Severus scoffs, crossing his arms as he turns to face him.

“Think your special do you Potter?” James looks hurts but fights through, he knows Severus doesn’t mean what he’s saying, _He_ _’_ _s just upset, that_ _’_ _s all, right?_

“I-Severus you’re important to me and something is bothering you so…”

“I know you’ve always been thick Potter, but I’d have thought even _you_ would know the meaning of the words _leave me alone_.  You sure heard them enough from Lily last year, or were you too busy kissing the ground she walked on to notice?” James punches him in the face, he falls to the ground.

“I’m going to do you a favour and never tell her you said that.  When you’ve calmed down from whatever the _fuck_ is going on with you.  We’ll still be here waiting with open arms because you are our friend and we care about you.  But don’t ever talk about her like that again.  Or what you said about Remy.”  For a moment, James thinks he sees a flicker of remorse on his face but it’s gone as quickly as it appeared, hidden by the anger on his face.

“Or you’ll what Potter?  You can’t touch me, not while I know about that furry little problem, hmm?”  James goes to punch him again but is pulled away, Severus grins madly at him, “See you around Potter.”

“You better hope you fucking don’t you fucking traitor!” James yells at him as he walks over to the Slytherin table like he doesn’t have a care in the fucking world, meanwhile James recognises it as Frank and Kingsley that are holding him back.  He shrugs them off and storms out of the room, his friends walk out after him except Remus who stands there staring for a moment, betrayal clear in his eyes, and that’s when Severus remembers. _Werewolf hearing_.  Severus scowls at the boy who finally comes to his senses and walks out.

 

“What the shit Potter?!” Lily asks him, bewildered and unhappy.

“Oh don’t give me that look Evans, he fucking deserved it!”

“Why?  What the hell could he have said to warrant that!?” She gestures back to the hall with her arm, accidentally hitting Remus in the chest, he grabs her arm and puts it back at her side, she looks sheepishly at him, “Sorry Remy.”  He doesn’t respond.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Remus tells James who suddenly realises the same thing Severus had.

“Yes, I did,” he tells the boy, “Doesn’t what he said bother you?” Remus shrugs.

“It was going to happen eventually.” James’ eyes widen.

“Remy we’d never…”

“Before you finish that sentence James, consider, would Snape not have said the same a few hours ago?”  The words die on James’ lips, Remus nods, “It’s fine, really.  I’m surprised it took this long.  I’m just going to go to the library and do some studying.”  He leaves, the confused group turn to look at James who looks positively heart-broken.

“He threatened to tell about Moony,” James says succinctly, only keeping what else he said secret for Lily’s sake.

“No!  He would never do that!  You can’t take that seriously!  He’s-he’s just angry!”  James scoffs.

“You think I don’t want to believe that too, Evans?!  He’s my friend!  But anger only excuses so many things.  I told him when he calmed down we’d still be here waiting because we cared and he threw it in my fucking face, threatened our Pup and insulted…it doesn’t even matter.  My point stands, he can come back from this, but if he says one more thing about Remy’s condition, I _will not let it go._ ” Lily gets right up in his face.

“Real friends never give up on each other.”  James smiles sadly.

“Tell that to Remy.”  Awkward silence follows his words.

“H-He doesn’t think _we_ _’_ _ll_ turn our backs on him too, does he?” Mary asks, Lily spins round to face her.

“ _Too?!_ Severus hasn’t turned his back on him!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake Evans, he went too far!  Twice!” Sirius tells her, she looks him in the eyes with a look of pure disgust.

“Fuck you Black.  I can’t believe I ever thought you held any kind of integrity.  You are just like the rest of your damned family.” She storms off, Sirius looking shell-shocked in her wake.

“So…we can all agree to leave the contents of this conversation from Remus because we all know he’ll blame himself, right?” Marlene asks, everyone nods.

“Of course.”

“It goes without saying.”

“Good, Mary and I are going to go after her, you blokes go check on Remus.  Bella, you should go check on Severus.  I think he’ll respond best to you,” Marlene directs, Bellatrix looks in the direction of the library before nodding, they all head off to their appointed tasks.

 

The lads find their mate sitting in a window alcove with a book on his lap, though he isn’t even acknowledging its presence there as he stares out of the window.  It isn’t hard for the others to guess what he’s looking at, given the time and the calm nature of their friend despite the circumstances.

“He’s our friend, yes.  He always will be, and he’ll always be welcome.  For the most part.  But he’s always been a bit of a dick, we knew that from day one.  Just like we knew from day one that the four of us would be best friends for life, even if you didn’t realise that.  We won’t let him hurt you in anyway,” James tells him as they all take seats around him.  Remus pulls his gaze away from the moon and focuses on James, unshed tears in his eyes despite the still eerily calm aura surrounding him.  You just about needed wolf-hearing to hear his whispered words, but his friends heard him all the same.

“Too late.”

 

The next morning, Lily waits for them in the common room, noticing the shy and timid nature of Remus sadly.  But despite her worry for him, he wasn’t why she was late to breakfast.

“Sirius, um, I just wanted to apologise for what I said yesterday.  I was upset, but James is right.  Anger only excuses so much and I went beyond that.”  Sirius looks at her appraisingly before he grins cockily.

“Somehow I’m not surprised you couldn’t resist my charms for long.  It’s all good Evans, I’m used to that shit,” He says as though it’s no big deal, as they all leave, Remus turns to face her with an apologetic look that cuts through the relief she had felt like a knife.  It wasn’t all good.  It was with a heavy heart that she acknowledged she’d been shut out behind Sirius’ walls once more.  Where once he would have actually told her how he was feeling, she got cocky and fake platitudes.  Where once she was Lily, now she is Evans once more.  Lily tries not to cry as she realises this is no doubt how Severus feels now and immediately goes to find him.

 

“Come to yell at me too?  I’ve already had a run in with Black and Potter, surely you aren’t necessary here,” Severus drawls unpleasantly at her, she sighs, moving to sit beside him under the tree.  She grows a flower, a tulip, in her palm and holds it out to him.

“Once, all the flowers I could make were petunias.  That was where my magic was powered from, my love for my sister and our strong connection.  She thinks she has no magic, she doesn’t know she was the source of mine.” She sees Severus frown in confusion, “I can’t make petunias anymore, they are black and shrivelled and disintegrating.” He actually looks at her now, taking the flower from her hand hesitantly, “I don’t want you to be just another dead flower to me.” Tears fill his eyes before suddenly he’s sobbing as she holds him.

“He killed her, they know it was him but he got away with it, the fucking coward took his own damn life!” He tells her, sobbing loudly, she frowns, tears filling her own eyes as she puts together what happened.  She pulls him closer to her.

“I’m here Sev, I’m here, I love you, you aren’t alone.”

 

The day Remus is released after the next full moon, he’s limping down the hall to join his friends in the common room when he sees Severus.

“H-Hey Severus.”

“Lupin,” Severus sneers, Remus flinches slightly.

“I um, I just wanted to say that I’m not mad, about what you said…”

“Why would you be?  It’s all true after all.” Remus looks hurt.

“Severus, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I hope you can find some kind of help somewhere if you won’t accept it from us,” He tells him honestly, Severus’ scowl intensifies.

“What would you know?  Half-blood half-breed, tell me, do you even fit in anywhere?  You aren’t human, you’re a monster, you barely have any rights to be alive, you never should have been accepted into this school.  I was right in first year, one of these days everyone will leave you, you shouldn’t be surprised that I just happened to be the first.”  Remus bits his lip as tears stream down his face, he looks to the ground, unable to hold his gaze.

“If that’s how you feel about it…” He says slowly and quietly.

“It is.” Remus sniffs slightly.

“Then I will leave you alone from now on.” Severus turns and starts to walk away, “I-I’m sorry for whatever I did to you.”

“You’re a Werewolf Lupin, you should know by now that your mere existence is offence enough.”  He storms off, Remus limps the rest of the way to the common room and goes inside quietly.

“Remy?”  Remus looks sort of in Sirius’ direction but doesn’t meet his eyes, “What’s wrong?”  Remus shrugs.

“Nothing, I’m just tired.”

“Now why don’t I believe that?” James asks as he walks closer, Remus starts walking towards the couch, _probably because I have a long history of lying to everyone_ Remus thinks, but for the first time in a while he edits his words. _Isn_ _’_ _t that something only you can answer James?  It_ _’_ _s your belief after all._   He edits that too.

“I don’t know,” He replies instead as he takes a seat, pulling out the book he took with him to the shack.

“You’re editing again Remy,” Sirius tells him as he looks away from the game of wizard chess he’s playing with Peter.  Bellatrix and Regulus look at him in confusion, Remus wonders why they’re studying in this common room instead of their own before realising they were probably waiting to check on him.

“Editing?” Bellatrix asks, Peter is the one to answer.

“It’s something he did when we first met him, he would hesitate like that and it took us a while to realise why.  He’s editing what he says from his usual sarcastic and snarky comments and usually ends up only saying a few words.  We don’t know whether it’s to not draw attention to himself or he’s afraid to offend someone, or both.  It’s one of the things we check for when something seems wrong to find out if he’s lying about being fine.”

“He’d stopped for the most part by the time we met you,” James adds.

“One of the things?  What else?” Regulus asks, feeling like they should be aware of this, Remus holds back the eye roll _I_ _’_ _m right here_ , he thinks.

“Remus, how long since you walked in here?” Sirius asks, he responds without thinking.

“Two minutes three seconds.”  The two Slytherins seem confused.

“He counts.  It’s useful sometimes, but worrying when he does it without prompting.  It’s a nervous habit we think, we don’t know why,” Peter explains, Remus shrinks in on himself more.

“Point is, what happened?” Sirius asks Remus who hesitates once more. _What if they agree?  What if they blame me for what_ _’_ _s happened?  Why wouldn_ _’_ _t they?  It is my fault.  Everything is._

“Nothing.”  Sirius moves to kneel in front of him, James shaking his head at Bellatrix when she seems unhappy, she seems confused but doesn’t intervene.

“Remy, do you remember how we felt when this shit with Snivellus started and he wouldn’t tell us what was wrong?”  Remus nods, flinching slightly at the name, _it_ _’_ _s my fault it_ _’_ _s come back, I should have stayed away, how could I be so selfish?_ “Stay with me Remus, just tell us what happened.”

“I…I ran into Snape and I think I upset him further,” He mutters quietly, the same quiet careful voice he used two and a bit years ago.

“What did he say?” James asks darkly, Remus panics, James notices and lightens up, “You aren’t causing any problems and whatever happened wasn’t your fault.”

“I started the conversation, I upset him, it _is_ my fault.”

“What did he say?” Sirius asks, remaining calm, Remus bites his lip, Sirius smirks in a familiar way that makes Remus blush, knowing what he’s thinking.

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” He replies morbidly, it’s enough for the others to realise it had something to do with his lycanthropy.  Sirius sees something in Remus’ face that reminds him of many old conversations he’d never been able to forget.

“You aren’t a monster,” He whispers, Remus’ eyes widen slightly, then he looks away and Sirius knows he hit it on the nose.

 _Snape and I both know that_ _’_ _s not true, one day you_ _’_ _ll learn too,_ Remus thinks but doesn’t say, he just shrugs, Sirius nods knowing when to stop pushing.

“We can talk about this more later, want to have a group study session?  Regulus has been enjoying showing off his potions work while I fail to answer the first question.”  Bellatrix may be unhappy with the current status quo between the two, but even she couldn’t help but be touched by the fact that _Sirius Black_ was voluntarily doing Potions homework to help put Remus back on his feet.  She doesn’t see any change in his expression, but the other three Marauders seem to find some sort of cue because Sirius helps Remus onto the floor and sits beside him as Peter packs up the chess game and James goes into the dorm to retrieve their homework.

McGonagall comes in later, intending to speak with James and Sirius about hexing Snape in the hallways when she sees them all studying and Remus’ quiet demeanour.  She decides the conversation can wait, it’s not as though it would make a difference anyway.

 

 

“So then we can enchant the mirrors to act like those telle thingos Remus mentioned,” James explains, Remus sighs quietly, it’s the biggest reaction they’ve gotten out of him in two days.

“Telephone.”

“Right, that.”

“Given how closely your face resembles the monthly hindquarters of your mangy pet there, one would think you’d avoid mirrors altogether.” Remus flinches slightly as the others turn to face Severus where he stands beside Lily.

“Severus, that isn’t helping anything,” Lily tells him softly.

“You know you’re such a bloody hypocrite, you tell us to leave you alone but keep harassing our friend, and he is no one’s _pet,_ ” James tells him strongly, spitting out the last word like he hated the fact it ever went through his mouth, Severus looks at him, absolutely livid.

“True, people tend to keep pets around,” He looks to Remus as he says this, Remus looks to his feet.

“You…”

“Potter, stop.  Leave him alone,” Lily tells him fiercely, he looks at her like she’s bonkers.

“Are you completely barmy, woman?!  Why the hell do you defend that greasy git.”

“Because he’s my friend you pigheaded idiot!”

“SO WAS REMUS!” He shouts at her, she glares at him, “You certainly don’t seem to care two hoots when your _friend_ there insults him!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT SEVERUS OR MY FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM!” She screams at him, James takes a step forward, ready to yell some more when Severus steps in.

“Don’t talk to her like that.”  James raises an eyebrow at him, a cruel smirk on his face.

“But it’s fine when you say she told me to leave her alone enough times in first year, yet I didn’t hear because I was too busy kissing the ground she walked on?” Severus looks at him in shock, he turns to Lily.

“It was just before he punched me that day.” Lily nods understandingly, James scoffs but it’s Sirius that speaks up.

“You deserve better than him Evans.  I hope you see that before he hurts you too.”  She seems surprised at him being so genuine but doesn’t comment on it, instead she turns back to Potter.

“If you ever manage to think around your own ego and realise that not everything is about you, you might notice more, for instance, your friend is bleeding,” Lily says, pointing towards Remus who is indeed bleeding from the lip he keeps biting. “Is tormenting Sev worth it?”

“We were having our conversation, perfectly happy, until he butted in,” Sirius tells her as he walks back a few steps to Remus who looks away, ashamed, Severus grins at that.

“You watch yourself Snivellus.  Your girlfriend won’t always be around to protect you,” James threatens, Severus smirks.

“And your ‘this has to end’ man is completely useless to you now.  So perhaps I’m not the one who has to watch himself.”

“Severus!” They all turn towards the new voice and see Lucius with his merry bad of pure-blood arseholes, “Leave Remus alone.” Severus sneers but backs down, “Come on, let’s go.”  Severus spares Lily an apologetic look before he goes with them, Lucius nods to Remus who looks relieved before they all walk away.

“Changed, huh?” James asks Lily who huffs and storms off.

“Never thought Malfoy would come in handy,” Peter mutters, Remus decides not to comment, not even in his head because _stop being ungrateful and start being helpful._

“I think I saw something in the library about wizarding communications.  There might be some ideas of how to enchant the mirrors that we can alter.”  They all agree and go to the library.

 

A few days later, Remus goes running into the common room so fast he trips over the portrait and falls into Henry who spills his drink onto Mary’s head.

“Fuck I am so sorry!” Remus immediately blurts, everyone seems relieved at the curse word, hoping it marked the beginning of the old Remy coming back.

“You are such a mess,” Mary comments lightly, Remus flushes slightly as he tries to stutter out another apology, she shakes her head fondly and walks away.

“Didn’t you have somewhere to be?” Henry asks him, Remus’ eyes light up as he remembers and he runs up to the dormitory, excitement firmly back in place.

“GUYS I HAVE NEWS!” He shouts as he enters the dorm, freezing when he looks at the empty space where Severus’ bed had once been, he looks to the others who look mixes between angry and mopey.

“We thought it was about time we got our space back,” Peter explains lightly, Remus forces himself to look away, but his mood is gone.

“What’s your news?” Sirius asks, Remus hesitates a moment before he speaks.

“We need to go to the Marauder’s Lair.”

 

“What is it you wanted to show us?” James asks once they’re inside, he cleans off the dust that has built up from disuse before they all take their seats around the table.  Remus takes the map they mark new finds on and lays it on the table, only it’s different now. There are footprints all over it, and they’re moving, names attached to them.  It takes a minute for them to process what they are seeing, then all three boys look up at their fourth member in sync, he’s practically bouncing in excitement despite his face barely twitching.

“Is this a map showing where everyone is in the school?” Remus nods.

“It also shows the moving staircases as it goes.  It occurred to me that not everyone can memorise their pattern.”

“I still don’t believe there is one.” Remus ignores Peter’s negativity as he focuses on the map before him.

“And check this out, mischief managed,” He taps his cinnamon stick against the paper, the map disappears, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”  The map reappears with another tap of the cinnamon stick.

“I thought it doesn’t work as a wand?” Peter asks, Remus sighs.

“It doesn’t, but some magic will still recognise it as one, like mine for instance.  I can’t use it, but my magic remembers what it is, and I did the enchantments.  So it works for this.”

“How did you do this?” James asks in disbelief.

“Will it show people no matter what?  Even if they had…say…an invisibility cloak on?”  Sirius questions, Remus finds the three different priorities amusing, though only his eyes betray that.

“No, not the cloak.  I need to work with the actual cloak to make it do that, I didn’t want to take it without permission but I also wanted this to be a surprise so I just haven’t added that feature yet.”

“This is amazing,” James tells him, “Good work Moony!”  This had been happening a lot, now that the experiments had stopped with the falling apart of their group, they just seemed to move on from it.  Remus was almost relieved, almost.

“Thanks, I-I was thinking we should sign it somehow, have almost like a title page.”

“I can design that if you can put it on?” Remus nods, the other two agree with Sirius’ suggestion.  He was a great artist after all.

“I know what we should call it,” Peter tells them, they all look at him.

“What?” James questions, Peter grins.

“The Marauder’s Map.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I’ve mentioned that this story is going to go in the right place for Harry Potter to begin. Therefore, we all know that after the first wizarding war ends, there’s this gap of ten years before that happens. Now, I’ve written a bit about that, but what I’m wondering is how much of that you want to see. I don’t want to drag it out because none of it is terribly relevant, but I do have a few ideas on it. I like how it is now and I’ve written through all of Harry Potter that I’m following more or less canonically. I’m not sure I want to go back and add in my ideas or if that will just slow down the story. Alternatively, I can have more of it told through stories to other people from the people living that time and flashbacks of it when appropriate. Or, I can have a separate story of snap-shots of life. More things from their school lives, bits of the inbetween time after the war, and other random tidbits. That option also allows for, if there are things I’ve glossed over that you want to see in more detail or how a specific conversation went down or something I can write it out and stick it in there. 
> 
> What would you all prefer?


	18. Unprotected

Chapter 18

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ ** **_, Also, I do not own the song Roar, that is Katy Perry_ ** **_’_ ** **_s._ **

****

With the addition of the Marauder’s Map, pranks had been at an all time high.  They’d gotten caught for none of them, but by this point everyone could recognise what was theirs and what wasn’t.  Then one day, a week into second term, Gryffindor House was awoken by a loud crack, everyone emerges from their dorms, wanting to see what happened.  A fire starts in the fireplace out of nowhere, flames reaching higher until it zooms out of the fireplace, everyone screaming and ducking.  It shoots across the wall above the mantle before it dies out as though it never happened, words stay burning on the wall for a moment before they too are snuffed out, leaving behind a burning message.

_How safe do you feel without your Protector?_

The first years seem confused, after all no one ever talks about what happened last year.  Everyone else turns to look at Remus who stares at the wall, pale with fright.  He notices their stares and shrinks in on himself, sliding down a wall and hugging his knees.  The prefects send the first and second years back to bed with empty promises of safety, most of the third years go too.  Those left sit around the large table they turn the coffee table into and sit in silence.

“They’re right,” Henry says suddenly, the Marauders all glare at him, Lily, Marlene, and Mary looking affronted as well.  Henry looks at them all placatingly, “I mean no offence to Remy, but much as we all love him, he’s useless to us in that capacity right now.  I don’t know what happened, but right now we are vulnerable.”  They all turn to see where Remus is still hugging himself against the wall, pale and terrified, Sirius seated beside him, trying to talk him through it.

“He was still frightened and shy when he first stood up for me,” Lily points out, though the lack of conviction in her voice was unsurprising.

“It’s different this time and you know it, we need to either sort this out ourselves, or fix him,” Scarlet tells them all, no one disagrees.

 

The incident is reported, along with several other threatening attacks and pranks, the teachers growing concerned about how far this will go.  One day, Bellatrix and Remus enter the Gryffindor common room to find everyone waiting, much as they once had before, only this time Remus hesitates to walk any further into the room.  No one had dared to close the door after the first threat, Bellatrix wonders why they don’t just take it off.

“Remy, I know something is very wrong with you at the moment but…”

“I can’t do it again.  I won’t,” He tells Henry who sighs.

“We don’t have any other options, nothing we try works,” Frank reasons, Remus doesn’t budge though he does now look like he’s going to either pass out or vomit or both.

“Guys, I don’t know what you’re asking him to do but whatever it is…”

“We’re asking him to do something about what’s happening,” Marlene explains to Bellatrix, looking rather guilty but still determined.

“Remy, this needs to end,” Henry tells him, Remus thinks everything through, he sighs.

“You guys don’t understand, this has nothing to do with houses warring at each other anymore.  This is Severus setting me up, knowing that if I do nothing, he’s right about me, and if I do something, he’s even more right about me.”

“If you’re going to lose either way, which ending would you prefer?  I love you like a brother Remy, and I wish to God this weren’t happening, but we are all in danger.  You _know_ how bad things got last time, do you want that to happen again?!” Lily asks him desperately, Remus walks up to her and looks her dead in the eyes.

“Your friend is doing this.  _You_ do something to stop it.” He goes to stalk out of the room when James catches his arm, Remus looks at him, hurt that he sees all his fellow Marauders are in on this.

“What will it take for you to act?” He asks simply, Remus doesn’t even hesitate, answering quietly before walking out of the room.

“A way that doesn’t make me a monster.”

 

It’s a few days later as they walk down the hallway, Bellatrix and Remus alone, holding hands, coming back from a picnic, when they hear the screams.  They run towards it and find a first year Gryffindor and second year Hufflepuff frozen in terror as Avery, Knott, and Snape harass them.

“…dirty mudbloods,” Snape hisses at them, Bellatrix clears her throat, arms crossed unhappily, the three see Remus and look nervous for half a second before remembering how things are now, remembering that Severus broke his will to fight, “Got something to say _Trixie_?”

“I’m sure Lily would if she heard about this.”  Severus smirks.

“Lily wouldn’t believe your word over mine, and let’s face it, there’s no way Lupin is going to say a damned thing.”  Remus awkward shuffles on his feet, looking to the ground, he hears the kids whimper, he’s not sure which of them it is, but it makes him flashback.

_“_ _Daddy there_ _’_ _s something under my bed!_ _”_ _4-year-old Remus calls, sounding scared, Lyall walks into the room._

_“_ _Phia, I told you to stop telling your brother stories, that_ _’_ _s the deal.  You can read my books if you don_ _’_ _t tell Remus._ _”_ _Phia sighs._

_“_ _Sorry Daddy,_ _”_ _She tells him._

_“_ _Go to bed Remus, you_ _’_ _re safe here._ _”_

_Terrifying Blue eyes stare down at him, he_ _’_ _s too afraid to do anything more than whimper as the man descends on him.  He hears Phia scream, but it_ _’_ _s too late, he_ _’_ _s in agony, he thinks he_ _’_ _s going to die._

_It isn_ _’_ _t long until he wishes he had._

These kids look at a bunch of bullies the way he looks at Greyback, the way he _remembers_ feeling.  He hears the bullies taunting Bellatrix and takes a step forward, standing in between them and looking straight up at Snape.

“Test me you fucking coward, I dare you.”  Severus smirks.

“Do you really want to prove me right?” _You_ _’_ _re a monster_ , Remus smirks dangerously back.

“Here’s the problem with your logic _Snivellus_.  I am what I am either way, but if I deal with you, there’s one less problem in the world.  If I deal with all of you, we all get to leave here unharmed,” Remus gestures to himself, Bellatrix, and the two kids as he speaks, “And if I deal with your entire house…well, wouldn’t that just be _grand_.” Avery and Knott share a look of trepidation, Severus just looks angry.

“You can’t do anything, even last time you took every precaution to make sure no one was hurt.”

“Because last time was a warning.  Your house’s third warning in fact.  You have one last chance to back off,” He growls the last bit, “Come on kids, we’re leaving.”

“THIS DOESN’T END HERE LUPIN!” Severus yells as the four head off down the hall, leaving the Slytherins behind them.

“As you wish,” Remus replies, all hear him despite his voice not being raised.

 

Bellatrix and Remus walk the Hufflepuff back to her common room before they bring the Gryffindor home with them.  Remus walks in to a loud and almost cheery common room, the atmosphere drops as soon as he enters the room, people looking at him in surprise.  The first year releases both their hands and runs over to her friends, Bellatrix looking nervously at Remus as he stands in the middle of the room.

“It ends now,” He declares darkly before he walks back out of the common room, leaving his girlfriend behind.

“I hope we’re doing the right thing letting him go.” Bellatrix turns to look at Marlene, worry clear in both their eyes.

“Me too.”

 

Remus came back fifteen minutes later and sat down on the couch to read a book without a word to anyone, no one dared to ask.

 

 

The next morning, there were notably less Slytherins at the table, and those that did turn up looked terrified.  Gryffindor House was overcome with guilt, many of those poor sods were innocent, only guilty of having shit housemates.  But they had to trust in Remus to know what he was doing, the calm yet expectant look on his face made them worry he wasn’t done yet.

This fear was realised when five minutes into the meal, all their benches vanished and the Slytherins all fell to the floor, their cutlery began poking and prodding them, when they tried to get away it chased after them.  Hufflepuff looked oddly satisfied, Bellatrix thinks the second year must have relayed what happened to them.

“Stop this.  Now,” McGonagall demands from behind Remus, Remus turns around, looking at the Slytherins as though he had only just realised what was happening.

“I’m afraid I don’t know how, Professor.  How am I to undo another’s work?”

“This is not funny Lupin.” He shakes his head at her.

“No, it isn’t.  Not much is these days with a constant threat for our lives over our heads.  At least now it’s over theirs too.  But like I said, I can’t undo another’s work.” McGonagall glares intensely.

“You can and you will or it’s your entire house that will suffer the consequences.”

“That’s your house too, Professor.” She nods.

“Yes, but this is my _school_.” He looks her over for a moment before he nods and waves a hand in the direction of the Slytherins, it all stops and the benches return.

“Hmm, I suppose I _can_ undo other people’s work after all.”  McGonagall doesn’t even bother to respond as she walks over to help calm the children.

 

Everyone thought that would be the end of it, but at lunch there were even _less_ Slytherins than before.  Avery, Knott, Parkinson, Samael, and Lucius all walk up to the Gryffindor table, unhappiness on all of their faces as they head to Remus.

“You win Lupin.  Now fix them,” Avery demands, Remus looks at them all, purposely exaggerating his counting of them.

“Curious, I could have sworn I was waiting on five of you…” Knott looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“There _are_ five of us.”

“Sorry, I should have been more specific, I was waiting on five _guilty_ people.” He nods in Lucius direction, “Far as I’m aware you’ve done nothing wrong.  Unless this is you admitting your guilt?” No one responds though Lucius and Remus share a smirk, Remus goes back to his food, “Bring Severus along, have him admit defeat, and I’ll fix them.  If not, then I hope you remember what sleep felt like, because I am beginning to doubt you’ll get any for a while.”  The five walk off, four angry and Malfoy amused.

“Hey, um, Regulus is okay, right?” Sirius asks Remus, not wanting to know what’s happening but needing his brother to be okay, Remus scoffs.

“Like I’d ever harm or endanger the Little Marauder.  He’s my favourite Marauder.”

“You arse,” Sirius curses, they all laugh.

 

It’s a week later, a week of chaos and fear and guilt and missing Slytherins and god even knows what else before Severus Snape walks into the Gryffindor common room and jabs his wand into Remus’ neck.

“Stop it, now.”

“No.” Severus snarls.

“Are you really willing to risk your furry little secret?”  Remus leans in so close their noses nearly touch.

“The question is, how far do you think you’ll get out of this room with your memories intact?” Severus looks panicked for the first time, not so much for all of Hogwarts that he could lose, but his memories are all he has left of his mother, “Slightly more importantly, put your damned wand away unless you actually plan to use it.”  Severus stands back.

“I challenge you to a duel, no seconds, just us.  I win, you leave my house alone.  You win, I back off.” Remus raises an eyebrow before he scoffs.

“And if I don’t accept?”  Severus smirks.

“There’s an interesting spell I created just for you, turns out the spell that mimics sunlight can be altered.  Now I’m not sure what would happen were this new spell used on you, but the question is, do you want to find out?” Remus looks impressed, looking away and nodding slowly for a moment before he turns back quickly and punches Snape square in the face.

“Midnight, off shoot.” Snape holds his face with a grimace before he nods and leaves.

“Y-You aren’t going to kill him, are you?” Lily asks sounding afraid, Remus looks at her innocently, yet the dangerous look hasn’t left his eyes.

“What do you take me for Lily, a monster?” He walks out of the room laughing madly.

“Never.” She calls behind him, he turns to her in confusion, “I will never believe that.  You are the best person I know and the fact that you are risking literally _everything_ to protect your house, _again_ proves me right, not wrong.  This is different.”

“Why?  Because that lowlife is your friend?”

“No, because he was yours.” Remus looks at her in confusion, “You go too far tonight and it won’t be about protection, it will be about revenge.  That is a line I don’t think you are willing to cross.  But accidents happen, and sometimes it breaks things, things that can’t be fixed.  Don’t be another one.” He looks her in the eyes, holding her gaze for a moment before he nods once and continues up to his dorm.

“Potter, I’m going to need your cloak.”

 

 

“You in here Lupin?” Severus calls as he enters the room, Remus stands in the centre of it, turning to face him as he pulls off the cloak.

“Answer me something first.” Severus raises an eyebrow, “What did we do?”

“What?”

“To you,” He clarifies, “What did any of us do to you that was so bad you’d turn on us?” Severus glares at him, “Oh come off it, I’m just curious why it is we are in here about to duel, here in the same room we practiced in together, fighting James and Sirius side by side.  We were friends, Severus.  You were part of Moony’s pack.”  Severus sighs.

“Things tend to be put in perspective when you’ve seen what I’ve seen.  When you’ve lived what I’ve lived.”

“You think I don’t know that?  Me, of all people?  Why won’t you _tell_ me, why is it I am being forced to fight someone who was meant to have my back, who promised he’d never do exactly what you’ve threatened to so many times I’ve lost track.” 

“It’s different.”

“Why?!  What is different?”

“YOUR HORROR ENDS WHEN THE NIGHT DOES!” Severus suddenly screams, “MINE NEVER WILL, it never will.” Remus takes a tentative step towards him.

“My horror doesn’t end when the night does.  Why do you think it’s so easy to fall into this role?  I don’t have to try to do this, I just have to stop trying _not_ to.  I am a predator by nature and that horror never leaves me, the things I cannot _help_ but feel, and think, and sometimes even _do_.  You know what helps me with that?”  Severus just blinks at him, tears in his eyes, “Our group.”

“Our group can’t bring my Mother back to life,” Severus says quietly, “They can’t take back the fact that my Father BEAT HER TO DEATH!  THEY CAN’T CHANGE THAT HE KILLED HIMSELF!  N-nothing can.” Tears begin falling from his eyes, Remus walking the rest of the way to him and wrapping his arms around his friend as he breaks down.

“Nor can they change that I have a split personality with a fucking wolf.  Can’t change that I almost killed my mother, that my Sister hates everything she was once entranced by and adored, can’t change that I…my point is, nothing can change that I am constantly in the mind state of kill or be killed yet have no regard for my own life and only keep fighting for the sake of others.  Others I can never believe deserve any of what I bring them because they are so much better than I will ever be.  But they aren’t there to change the bad things Severus,” Remus tells him honestly, “They are just there to make some good.”

 

An hour later the two walk into Gryffindor tower where everyone had been waiting to see how it went.  Remus smiles at them as he stops them both in the middle of the room, Severus looking at the ground in shame.  James takes one look at them before he walks over and claps Severus on the back, a smile on his face.

“I told you we’d be waiting.” Severus tries to hold onto his pride for about thirty seconds before he hugs James who holds him just as tightly.

“Have you freed the Slytherins yet?” Peter asks, Remus curses.

“Knew I was forgetting something,” He says as he clicks his fingers.

“It’s all over?” Severus asks Remus who nods, “Common room and dormitories unflooded?” Remus nods, “Library books no longer enchanted to scream bloody murder if opened by a Slytherin?” Remus nods, “Great Hall safe to dwell in again?” Remus nods, “Returned control over bowels to those in the hospital?” Remus nods, “No more projectile vomiting every time they try to say anything negative about you lot or muggle-borns?” Remus looks to the ceiling, “Remy…”

“Fine.” He waves his hand, “Done.”

“Good.”

“Remind me never to mess with you,” Scarlet comments in a wary voice, Remus looks around to see everyone looking disturbed, frightened, and victorious.  Remus winks at her cockily, she laughs at him as Bellatrix hits his arm, he pouts.

“Then there is only one thing left to do,” Severus continues as though the interaction hadn’t taken place.

“What?” Frank asks him, Severus look to the ground, sighs, and then looks back up at them all.

“I’m sorry.  Something bad happened and I took it out on all of you.  That wasn’t fair.  I was cruel and horrible to the people who would have tried to help me, who _did_ try to help me, and restarted a war that nearly got everyone I care about killed last time.  I threatened one of my best friends repeatedly, insulted my group, scared the shit out of muggle-borns, and used a specific ‘M’ word I promised Lily I’d never say.” Lily gasps as she realises everyone had been telling the truth, “Worst of all, I’m sorry because I was angry at someone for being exactly like I became.  I betrayed my house, my real house, and endangered you all.  I’m sorry.” Everyone looks to Remus, knowing he is the one Severus tormented the most, Remus just smiles happily, the first true smile anyone had seen from him in a long time.

“We forgive you.” Severus smiles back, then he frowns.

“Did you undo the boil jinx?” Remus groans.

“You have officially taken all of the fun out of my life.”

“Undo it, now.” Remus rolls his eyes but does so, “Thank you.”

“We need to celebrate and make a point,” Mary tells them all, everyone nods, she grins, “I have a plan.”

 

The next morning at breakfast…

Gryffindor wasn’t there.  The entire house.  Just not there.  Everyone grows increasingly nervous, especially since they thought everything was over when all the Slytherins showed up.  Then music started playing within the Great Hall, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff instantly yelling in joy at another random music moment, Slytherin wishing the floor would swallow them up before they had to sit through this all again.

“I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared to rock the boat and make a mess, so I sat quietly, agreed politely,” Lily sings as she enters the room alone, it’s harder, she realises, to be brave without her house egging her on.  But they were counting on her, so she pushes through, “I guess that I forgot I had a choice,

I let you push me past the breaking point, I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything.”  Then Mary enters in behind her, Lily stands to the side to let her walk in fully.

“You held me down, but I got up.” She sings, Lily hears Marlene enter and joins her for the background ‘hey!’ “Already brushing off the dust.  You hear my voice, you hear that sound, like thunder gonna shake your ground.”  The Marlene takes over.

“You held me down, but I got up. Get ready coz I’ve had enough. I see it all, I see it now.”  Then the rest of the house enters, joining all three girls for the chorus.

“I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter. Dancing through the fire, coz I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar louder.  Louder than a lion coz I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar! oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, you’re gonna hear me roar!”  The rest of the song follows much the same pattern until the entire school, minus the Slytherins, joins in on the last ‘You’re gonna hear me roar!’  Then applause fills the room as Gryffindor House takes their seat, celebrating and clapping and just generally waiting for the adrenaline crash to hit.

Then Avery walks over to them.

“It’s never enough to win for you is it?  You have to rub it in everyone’s faces.  Why is that? Compensating for the fact that without your precious protector you were defenceless and scared?  He won’t always be around.  I’ll make sure of that much!” He swears to them all, “Guess they really were right when they called you a traitorous coward, weren’t they?” He sneers at Severus who has the gall to actually smile politely just before someone clears their throat behind Avery, he turns, intent to chew them out as well, until he sees its Remus.

“Going to deal with me, are you?” Remus raises an eyebrow, it amused everyone to watch Avery go from arrogant prick to pants-shitting terrified in ten seconds flat, but Remus was not amused, Avery goes to leave, but Remus grabs his arm.  “This is not like last time.  There will not be some big dramatic victory song, or even a dangerous inter-house war.  You or any of yours pull shit like this again, and it will be the last time.” For some reason Avery smirks at this despite Knott, who had come up to Avery’s aid, freaks and slinks back to his seat.

“You are a mere weapon Lupin, we’ve seen that you can be disarmed, I will find a way to break you down until you are nothing but scrap.  _That_ is a promise.”  Remus just smirks and releases him.

“Bye Avery,” He says waving his hand, Avery looks at him weirdly before he leaves.  He freezes on the way to his table when he remembers what Remus Lupin waving his hand means, he turns to look at Remus who is already ignoring him and panics as he tries to work out what the boy did to him.  He opens his mouth to demand the bloke tell him, only his voice doesn’t work, his hands immediately at his throat, trying to make it work somehow.

“Mr Lupin!” McGonagall calls in pure frustration.  She’s not even mad anymore, she’s just sick of this shit.

“Yes Professor?”

“Stop it now and you’ll merely be suspended for a week instead of expelled.” Remus smiles and waves a hand.

“…COCKSUCKER!” Avery’s voice comes out, he blushes when he realises none of the rest of his sentence worked, even Remus looks genuinely surprised and amused, “What will you do while he’s gone I wonder.”

“Mr Avery, you shall be serving a suspension as well.”

“You what now?!” Avery turns to Dumbledore in disgust and shock.

“It takes two to fight a war,” He says simply, “I do expect this to be the last time anything like this happens, or else you all will have forced my hand in the matter.”  No one wants to know what that means.

 

 

“You get the rest of the term off!  Oh we should go camping during the holidays, all of us, damn I’ve missed you guys so much!  We can invite Petunia, and Phia, and Reg, and it’ll be so freaking fantastic!” Mary literally squeals as the group walks Remus to Dumbledore’s office where he’ll floo home to serve out his suspension, “My parents and I always go camping at some point during the year, I can easily make that this holidays and they’ll be _thrilled_ if you all came along!”

“I’ll find out how much trouble I’m in at home and let you guys know,” Remus says with a laugh at her enthusiasm.

“Erm, guys, can I talk to Remy alone for a moment?” Severus asks as they reach the bottom of Dumbledore’s office stairs, right back where the entire mess began.  The others hesitate before Remus nods at them and they slowly move down the corridor.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was jealous.”

“I-you-what?” Severus takes a deep breath, almost laughing at Remus’ perplexed look.

“When I said that you didn’t belong anywhere, and most other things I said.  You have this horrible affliction but your parents love you so much.  I developed magic and my father hated my mother and I for it, and now she’s dead because I’m a wizard.  I don’t know how you live with the feeling of that constantly being a possibility if things get out of control.  I never even considered it happening, I mean him beating me to death yes, but not her.  My point is, as horrible as it sounds, they have more reason to fear you than my Dad did, and I was jealous because you have a supportive and loving family, and I had a home of pain, and now I have nothing.  I was wrong though, because none of it has anything to do with why they love you.  They love you because they are good people who are smart enough to see the person underneath, my Father would never have bothered.  You’re lucky to have the life you lead, even if you don’t realise it, and even when it’s hard.  I should never have been the one to make you feel otherwise.  I know things suck for you on a frequent basis, but you _are_ lucky, because you aren’t ever alone.”  Remus takes a deep breath, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Neither are you.”

 

 

“So, would you like to explain to us exactly _why_ you are suspended?” Hope demands as soon as he walks through the floo, well not as soon as, she hugs him first, then parents, Remus smiles happily.

“Because I have amazing parents who have taught me to be a good person.  I thought it was the wolf that made it so easy to attack, but I was wrong.  It was the way you both raised me that made it so instinctual to protect, and to care, and to be willing to forgive.” They aren’t sure where this is coming from but decide to let him talk, “I have been so caught up in feeling sorry for myself that I never bothered to realise the truth.  A truth everyone has been trying to show me since I was four years old.”

“What’s that?” Lyall asks, feeling hope that perhaps his son might be okay.

“I am not cursed.  I am not sick.  I am not a monster.” The two parents smile, but he isn’t finished, “I may not be human in the strictest definition, though Professor McGonagall says I am more human than humans, but that doesn’t mean I am anything other than what I was.  I am a Werewolf, a Lycanthrope, that’s what I am but it isn’t _all_ I am, and it doesn’t define me anymore than my ruddy eye colour does.  I know now that you didn’t keep me around because I am your child and you have no choice.  I’ve discovered that some parents would do horrible things for far smaller reasons.  You kept me because you love me, and you know what?” Lyall and Hope look at him, happy tears in his eyes as he smiles in a bright eyed way they haven’t seen since he was four, “No monster is capable of loving you both, and Phia, the way I do.”  The two hug him very close, he holds them as they both cry, he feels as though a weight has been lifted from him, one he thought he understood but didn’t truly until it was gone. “Stop lurking and join us you silly sod.”  Phia enters the room properly and goes over, joining the hug.

“We love you too.”

“You still need to tell us what happened,” Lyall tells him sternly when they break apart, Remus chuckles.

“Everyone has a seat, for our story starts on the first of September, 1971, when a not so average boy and the weird people that decided to adopt him, met a boy with rather greasy looking hair.”

 

 

In the end, they don’t manage to go for the Easter holidays, instead they go during the summer, a celebration of their end of third year, and the end of Regulus’ first.  As such, it’s three months later that Peter, Sirius, James, Regulus, Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Marlene step through the floo into the Lupin home one at a time.  His house was within easy bussing distance of the forest they would be camping in, so the purebloods are going with he and Phia.  Then they’d go collect Severus, Petunia, and Lily from the Evans household where Severus was currently staying, and then grab Mary from her house.  They’re borrowing Mary’s parents truck they use for camping, no one’s thought this through yet.  Originally it had been her family they were going with, but then her parents and younger brother went to look after her sick Aunt, so Andromeda offered to take them all which they were very pleased about.

“I THOUGHT YOU KNEW BETTER THAN THIS, I THOUGHT WE RAISED YOU TO BE SMARTER!” They hear as soon as they step out of the floo.  Phia sits in the loungeroom doing a crossword while she waits for them, she smiles when she sees them, opening her mouth to greet them when the yelling continues.

“I’M FOURTEEN-YEARS-OLD MUM, I CAN DECIDE WHO I DO AND DON’T TALK TO!”

“WELL I CERTAINLY THOUGHT YOU COULD, BUT NOW HERE YOU ARE TALKING TO DEREK AGAIN!”

“Seriously, who, in the name of Merlin, is Derek?” Sirius whispers, Phia sighs.

“A long story,” She whispers back.

“Will both of you please calm down!” Lyall calls, not yelling but not quiet, “Now Remus, you know your Mother and I _do_ trust you…”

“OH BULLSHIT YOU DO!”

“WELL WHEN YOU HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE LIKE DEREK WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT IT!” Phia suddenly yells at the top of her voice, silence descends upon the household.

“If you get arrested again, we cannot afford to bail you out.”

“ONE TIME!”

“FOUR TIMES!”

“ONLY ONE THAT HAD ANTHING TO DO WITH DEREK!”

“YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR CASE!”

“AND YOU AREN’T HELPING CONVINCE ME YOU AREN’T BATSHIT!” Phia and the group’s eyes all widen as they wait for the blow up of that comment.

“Remus.  John.  Lupin.”  They hear a hugely dramatic sigh.

“Yes, okay, that was rude and unnecessary and I apologise, but for Merlin’s sake I can look after myself!  I can _literally_ smell intent on someone when they want to hurt me.  Along with a lot of other things I smell.  Like my friends.  Fuck me,” He states before he walks into the lounge room sheepishly, followed by his embarrassed parents.

“Who’s Derek?” Sirius asks looking innocent, Remus rolls his eyes, “Well aren’t you in a mood.  Snap out of it, fun to have, apologies to give, Derek’s to ignore, you know, the usual.”

“Oh, now you’re against the guy too?”

“You are the one that said he’s bad news,” James points out, Remus opens his mouth to argue, then snaps it shut, then sighs.

“I will be careful,” He says at last, his parents sigh in relief and hug him.

“All right, you lot have fun, keep out of trouble, and for heaven’s sake…”

“Don’t set anything on fire,” The twins say in sync, Hope sighs at the two of them.

“It wouldn’t be necessary each…”

“Time if it didn’t keep happening,” They finish for her.

“Oh, off with the lot of you!”  The twins double cheek kiss her before giving their father a simultaneous one armed hug, then they leave.

 

“So, that was interesting.” Remus and Phia both give Peter identical looks of non-amusement, he chuckles awkwardly.

“May I ask about the whole ‘smelling intent’ on someone thing?” Andromeda asks once they’re on the bus, Remus looks to Sirius who shrugs, everyone seems entirely indifferent to it, because really, it’s _Drom_.  But at the same time, Regulus doesn’t know either, and Remus doesn’t want to frighten him.

“Is it because you’re a Werewolf?” Regulus asks rather loudly, everyone looks around wildly while Remus facepalms.

“Hey Reg.”

“Yeah?”

“ _Muggles!_ ” Remus hisses, Regulus flushes in embarrassment, luckily no one was overly interested in what a random twelve-year-old had to say, “How did you even know?”

“Because Sirius got in trou…” Everything after that is muffled by his brother who puts a hand over his mouth.

“Eww, Reg did you just lick my hand?”

“*Muffled words.*”

“Yes I did have to.”

“*Muffle Muffle*”

“Promise?”  A nod and a muffled ‘yes’ later, Sirius released him.

“Well that brought back memories,” Phia tells Remus who rolls his eyes.

“If you just learnt to keep your mouth shut…”

“Me?! Are you kidding me?”  The argument went on for a while, devolving into half sentences or single words that seemed to convey a lot more meaning to the twins than anyone else, then Remus seemed to lose his temper.

“FOBBLEDEGOOP!” Phia rolls her eyes.

“You always play that card, glupsburt.”

“Rude.”

“Is this some twin thing I don’t know about?” Peter asks.

“Yes,” Remus and Phia say at once, James grins.

“You two seem more in sync than you were last time we were all together.”  Remus shrugs.

“Guess we had to learn to meet each other halfway.”  Phia leans into her brother’s side, Remus lifting an arm and wrapping it around her, meanwhile he’s been holding Bellatrix’s hand the entire time and smiles lovingly at her, she smiles back.

“Now why can’t we ever get along like that?” Andromeda asks Bellatrix who smirks at her.

“Because we never go out together and our parents think I’m nuts.”

“Gee, I wonder why that is,” Sirius says, Bellatrix kicks him in the shin.

 

Eventually they make it to the Evan’s house, once again greeted to yelling only this time of an excited kind, well, more like squealing actually.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE GOING TO A DAVID BOWIE CONCERT!” The group thinks it’s Lily and Petunia, especially after they hear Severus’ muffled complaint about his ear drums, Andromeda chuckles as she knocks on the door.  A moment later it’s thrown open by a Lily who immediately launches herself at James and jumps, he instinctively drops the flowers he was holding to give to her parents in order to catch her.

“THIS IS SO EXICTING!  A CAMPING TRIP WITH MY BEST MATES AND MY BEST SISTER AND THEN A DAVID BOWIE CONCERT!” She squeals in her ear.

“All good Love, didn’t need that ear.”  Lily is far too worked up to respond to neither the pet name nor the complaint with an insult of her own.  James just carries her inside as Sirius picks up the flowers and brings them in for him.

“Hi Mr and Mrs Evans, I think I found something of yours,” James tells them charmingly, Severus rolls his eyes.

“I think it’s about time you all started calling us Kyle and Laura.” Laura Evans replies, James and Sirius seem very happy with this development.

“Hold on, can we address the ‘best sister’ thing, I’m your only sister!” Petunia complains, Sirius ignoring them in order to walk to the parents.

“Hi, these are actually from my man James there, but he dropped them in order to not drop your daughter, so here you are.” Sirius hands them over with a dramatic bow to Laura who takes them.

“Thank you very much James, they’re lovely.” 

“Are you really so cheesy?” Severus asks when he sees the flowers, James grins at him, nodding rapidly.  They were petunias and lilies.

“And hello to the lovely Petunia, how are you my dear?” Sirius asks Petunia, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, she giggles.

“Always the better once I’ve seen you,” She responds, he smiles kindly at her.

“Right, where are your bags?” Andromeda asks, Severus points to the two suitcases and a large duffel bag by the stairs.

“How are we going to bring it all with us on the bus?” Petunia asks, worried, she’d been told not to worry about it, but Severus and Lily didn’t seem to know what to do either.

“Well, I am going to do a teensy bit of magic, and you three are going to pretend you never saw it, how does that sound?” Andromeda suggests, Kyle and Laura don’t object, Petunia looks uneasy, Phia immediately starts muttering things under her breath before Remus stomps on her foot.

“Ow!” She cries, rather high-pitched.

“But you aren’t supposed to do magic in front of muggles!” Regulus tells her, she sighs.

“I’m also supposed to hate muggles and detest muggle-borns, yet here we stand,” She gestures around them, Regulus looks put-out, “Would you like to wait outside and have plausible deniability on your side?”

“I am no coward!” He says, planting his feet in the ground, Andromeda grins.

“Now there is a Black family trait I can get behind.”  Andromeda pulls her wand out and shrinks the three bags down, picking them up and putting them in her jacket pocket.

“Okay fine, that was _kind of_ cool,” Phia states begrudgingly, Remus smirks like she just admitted he was right about the world being round.

“We should get going before it’s too late, we still have to get Mary after all,” Lily reminds them as she continues being a koala on a bewildered but not complaining James.

“Right, see you in a week Mum, Dad!” Petunia says, hugging them both before she excitedly hurries out of the house, followed by James, Severus, Sirius, and her sister.  The other’s say goodbye properly before they leave, Kyle and Laura never even having met Phia though they had heard about her.

 

Lily doesn’t get off of James until they board the bus, and then she sits beside him, Severus on her other side as she holds both their hands, Sirius pouts and sits beside James, taking his hand and making them all laugh and shake their heads.

“So…A Werewolf?” Andromeda asks Remus who winces slightly, “Not that I mind, you just, aren’t what I’d expect.  Then again, I grew up a Black so I no doubt have a bunch of misconceptions.”  Remus smiles sheepishly.

“Probably, we aren’t really that different most of the time.”

“We’re wrong about your kind being the same as us outside of a full moon, aren’t we?” Remus nods.

“Very much so.” Andromeda chuckles lightly.

“Now I’m curious.”  And with that, Remus spends the rest of the bus ride telling Andromeda, Regulus, and the others when they listen in, what it’s like to be a Werewolf, for once without fear or disdain for his species.

“I heard once that Werewolves have a mating season like penguins, is that true?” Remus blushes, looking to Phia who laughs at his face but shrugs.

“I have no idea Reg, but I hope not.”

“You’re only fourteen, it’s the kind of thing that would start in puberty one would think.  But then again, when is a Werewolf considered full grown?” Andromeda wonders aloud, Severus clears his throat.

“I’ve been looking into that actually.  The Werewolf being full grown I mean not the…mating season…anyway,” The others chuckle while Regulus flushes red, “It should be somewhere between seventeen and twenty-three.  Which, is sort of a big time frame until you consider the variety of humans hitting the biologically adult mark.” No one argues with that.

“How do we know when he’s done?” Marlene asks, Remus scoffs.

“I’m not a fucking pie you’re baking!” Everyone laughs at him again as Marlene apologises.

“Sorry Darling, I merely meant, how do we know when he’s a big boy instead of the adorable little Pup we’re used to dealing with covered in fuzzy fur and blunt fangs?”

“My fangs are not blunt!” Remus retorts, outraged at the very idea of it.

“Why have any of you been near the actual wolf?!” Regulus asks in fear and worry, Sirius chuckles.

“Well, what happened was, Bellatrix was a nosy little shit, and then Severus pissed of Remus, and then I attracted Moony’s attention, and now he accepts us all as pack and we can be around him during a full moon and pet him and stuff.  Except James, Moony doesn’t like James much.”

“Why not?” Phia asks in confusion, though no one is really surprised that apparently Remus had already told her the rest of it, everyone turns to Remus who scrunches up his nose slightly.

“He smells funny.” They all laugh, “No, but seriously, I don’t like the way he smells during a full moon, it has me on edge, I don’t know why.  I can’t place the smell unless I am Moony,” He explains, James shrugs.

“Eh, I smell bad and you have blunt fangs so…”

“I will bite you, then we’ll see how blunt my fangs are!”  Everyone laughs again, honestly the group is just ecstatic at this complete turn around in Remus’ nature that none can really explain.  They’ve never seen him like this before, it’s nice.

 

“Please do it.”

“No.”

“Oh come on Moony.”

“I am not making a big bad wolf joke Sirius!”

“Please?”

“The eyes don’t work when I’m not looking Sirius.”

“How did you even know I’d done it?”

“I can hear it in your voice, you sound more like a two-year-old than usual.”

“Oh come on Moony, pleeeaase!” Remus sighs, opening his eyes and walking up to Mary’s front door.

“Oi, let me in before I eat this bastard!” He calls through the door, Remus grins at the pouting Sirius, “Well, I made a wolf joke?”

“Your fangs are still blunt.”

“I swear to Merlin, the next person who says that, I’m gonna set on fire!”

“This is exactly what your Mother was talking about you know.”

“Well, hello to you all too.” Mary says happily from the door neither boy had realised she’d opened.

“Mary!” Sirius envelopes her in a hug.

“Quick, Mary, does Moony have blunt fangs?” Marlene asks, Mary grins and nods, Remus pouts.

“Do you guys even realise what you’re saying?” He asks, whining pathetically.

“Well, from the way you’re reacting I’ve assumed it’s a point of pride, so basically like saying you have a tiny dick?” Remus huffs.

“No!  It’s…actually…yeah it kind of is…except I actually care about this one because _I do not have blunt fangs!_ ”

“Well you don’t _have_ to worry about the other one,” James comments, the group turns to him as Remus buries his face in his hands. “What?  We share a dorm!  The man is well hung!”

“I will bite you.”

“You have blunt fangs, I’m not scared.”

“I didn’t mean as Moony.” He glares at James who takes a step behind Severus who chuckles.

“Scared Potter?” James scoffs at Severus.

“You wish.”

“So, how were you planning to fit us in there?  More magic?  I don’t really fancy being shrunk.” Petunia looks over the truck in distaste as she says it, Lily rolls her eyes at her sister as she climbs onto Remus’ back and sits piggy back style, him automatically supporting her though he has no idea why she’s doing this.

“To be honest, most of us didn’t even know what the tuck was,” Sirius admits, Phia sighs as she shakes her head.

“Wizards,” She says exasperatedly, “It’s called a _truck_.”

“Oh, _my_ bad,” Sirius replies dramatically, she raises an eyebrow at him, he smirks, she chuckles and shakes her head, this time fondly.

“Also, none of us can drive it,” Mary adds, ignoring the other two, Phia and Remus both bite their lips in identical fashion as they think this through.

“How far to the camp ground?   If we had a driver could we make two trips before dark?” Remus asks, Mary nods, Phia sighs.

“We don’t have a driver though Rem.”

“Drom, can you put a glamour charm on someone to make them look older?” Andromeda nods, “Right five of us have been around cars our entire lives, we’ve all seen them be driven, surely we can figure this out.”

 

Fifteen minutes later…

“BREAK, HIT THE BREAK!” Mary screams, Remus slams on the break, turning to face her in the back seat.

“You screaming does. Not. Help.  Meanwhile, we made it.”

“Okay,” Mary looks around calming down, “Think we’re ready to leave the driveway now?” Remus nods confidently.

“Let’s do this.”

 

Two hours, two trips, and some _very_ slow driving later, they’re at the forest, trekking to the clearing, Mary as leader.

“I can’t believe we finally made it!” Peter sprawls on the ground, ignoring James’ enthusiasm.

“Oh Merlin, a spring!  Pet, it’s an actual spring!” Lily tells her sister excitedly as she points to the spring in question from her place on Severus’ hip.  No one’s sure when exactly he picked her up, by the look on his face, neither is he.

“We should get tents set up,” Andromeda suggests, the others all nod, “So, upon request by all parents and my own agreement, we have two large tents, one for the blokes and one for us ladies,” She says, pulling said items out of her pocket and chucking one towards Peter who fumbles at catching it and accidentally sends it flying towards Remus who hears it change direction and catches it without turning to look at it, he glares at Peter who chuckles sheepishly.

“Why won’t you join Quidditch?!” James asks him, positively aghast, Remus shrugs.

“I hate flying, and the game is stupid.”

“What’s Quidditch?” Petunia asks nervously, all the others save for Severus and Lily had looked at Remus as though he’d kicked their puppies.

“Think Football but with flying and completely different rules and objectives.”

“So, if everything is different, why am I thinking football?” Lily chuckles.

“Okay, I meant as in the way people get passionate about it and how many people love it.  So if you imagine Remus saying that at the Pub with Dad…” Petunia giggles, “Yeah, you get it.”  James shakes himself out of his disbelief and turns to grin at the whole group.

“Right then, let’s get this holiday started!”


	19. Strange Occurances

Chapter 19

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“…emy, c’mon Remy…” Remus blinks and looks around, noticing the group staring at him in a mix of exasperation and worry, he looks back to Bellatrix, the one who he is reasonably sure had spoken.

“Yes?” She sighs, shaking her head slightly.

“This is gonna happen quite a bit, isn’t it?” James asks, Severus nods.

“We didn’t exactly think this through.” Remus frowns.

“Is there a station coming up where I can board this train of thought?” He asks earning several amused looks.

“You were staring at the moon, we’re not sure how long for but you didn’t really seem to be hearing us,” Lily explains, he continues frowning a bit before he turns to Phia, opening his mouth to speak, she just nods.

“That’s what I was wondering too.”

“Well it makes sense.” She shakes her head.

“No because…”

“True, but maybe…”

“I just…”

“Yeah, okay, you make a good point,” He concedes, she grabs his hand, squeezing reassuringly before handing him a stick and a marshmallow, he looks at the fire in surprise, “So, how long was it before they gave up?”  Lily laughs as Sirius groans.

“We didn’t give up exactly, we merely accepted our limitations after about five minutes and got Drom to light it magically.  Now what were you two twinning about?”  They both look to him, an eyebrow raised each.

“Twinning?” They ask in sync, he rolls his eyes at them.

“When you communicate without actually talking properly.”

“Oh, we were just wondering if that’s why our parents never take us camping even when we’ve suggested it, or let us go on a school camp.  But if that were the case, they wouldn’t have let him come to this.”

“So we think that they’re just overprotective about people finding out,”

“Since you all know anyway, they were…well, not fine exactly, but they allowed it.”

“But you’re okay?” Sirius asks Remus who nods though he bits his lip nervously, Sirius raises an eyebrow at him, he sighs.

“I’ve just never spent any real length of time outside like this before.”

“We’ll keep an eye on you, don’t worry Moony,” James tells him, smiling reassuringly, Regulus gasps.

“Moony!  Oh I get it!” The group laughs.

“Good job Little Marauder, this lot suspected for ages and still never put that together.”  Marlene picked up a stick and threw it at Sirius who somehow managed to catch it in his mouth, he froze, looking down in bewilderment before he spat it out.

“Ew.”

“Proving once and for all that Remus Lupin is not the only one whose name fits better than their parents could have suspected,” James tells him, Sirius hits him with the stick, James just laughs as he rubs his shoulder.

“Isn’t Sirius a constellation or something?” Sirius shakes his head at Petunia, he sits beside her and looks up, finding what he’s looking for and pointing to it.

“The brightest star, right there.  That’s Sirius, the dog star.”  The whole group looks up at the night sky before Sirius gets up, walking over to Remus and covering his eyes with his hand.

“What are you doing?”

“Just making sure,” He says before removing his hand and making Remus look back at the group.

 

“Come on Moon Moon, time for bed,” James tells him as he shakes him awake, Remus looks around to see Sirius lifting Regulus into his arms and Marlene leading a half-asleep Mary to the other tent.

“Did you just call me Moon Moon?”

“Yes.” Remus sighs.

“I’ll deal with that tomorrow.”

 

They spend a pleasant week camping, only nearly burning everything to the ground once.  It wasn’t until day five that there was a true problem, Sirius awoke to being shaken, he opens his eyes to see Phia kneeling over him and looking terrified, she gestures for him to remain silent and follow her.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers once they’re by the firepit, she bites her lip in an altogether too familiar way.

“Remus is missing.”

“What?!” She shushes him again.

“I had a dream that he…he transformed even though it isn’t a full moon only it was weird and like that wasn’t quite right.  I woke up and immediately went to your guys’ tent to check on him, only he’s not there!  We have to find him!”

“Why aren’t we telling the others?” He asks incredulously, “We can cover more ground together.”  She looks uncomfortable, he sighs, “You still don’t trust them?”

“I trust James.”

“Gee thanks.  Why didn’t you wake _him_ then?”

“Because Moony doesn’t like the way he smells, and if something _has_ happened, I’d rather he not be eaten.  Besides, I know that Rem trusts you, possibly more than anyone else, maybe even more than me.” Sirius looks worried and conflicted but nods.

“We should split up, meet back here in fifteen minutes, Moons or no Moons.  IF we still haven’t found him, _we are waking the others_.” She nods, they go in different directions.

Ten minutes later, he sees a figure sitting beneath a tree, staring at the moon.

“Remus?” Sirius asks, no response, “Moony?” The figure turns.  Sirius can see the inhuman quality to his gaze and sighs, glad they’d taught the little wolf to respond to his name. He goes over, allows Moony to sniff him, and then sits beside him.  “Hi.”  Moony’s head turns to the side as he gazes at him.

“h-i.” Sirius’ eyes go wide.

“Did you just talk?!” He asks rather louder than he intended, he doesn’t care, Moony seems confused by the reaction.  Sirius runs a hand through his hair before he moves to sit in front of his Pup, he points to Remus’ chest, “Moony.” He says softly, looking at him encouragingly.

“Moon-neee,” The wolf sounds out, Sirius smiles at him proudly as he strokes through Remus’ hair, the wolf pushes into it happily.  Then Sirius points to himself.

“Sirius.” The wolf doesn’t speak, Sirius thinks, he knows that Reg struggled to learn his name which is why he shortens it, “Siri.  Si-ri.”

“Si-ri.”

“Good boy!” The wolf knows that means Sirius is pleased and nudges up against the hand in his hair, Sirius chuckles but starts his petting again, “Come on Moony, we should get back, Phia’s worried.”  Moony follows Sirius when he pulls him up, standing and walking with the grace no human ever manages.  Sirius has to encourage Moony to go with him and continue doing so since Moony has never been granted such access to the outside world and keeps stopping to sniff and look at things, making questioning noises to Sirius until he tries to explain what it is.  Obviously the explanation completely goes over his head, but the recognition of his questions seems to be what the wolf is looking for.

“Sirius, there you are, Remus!” Phia calls, Sirius makes a motion for her to stand still and quiet when Moony looks to her and growls slightly.

“Don’t worry Moony, safe, safe,” He tells the wolf who whines slightly, “Yes I know, you don’t like meeting new people.  She’s okay though, go sniff, I think you’ll recognise her scent.” Moony cocks his head to the side, Sirius encourages him forward again, “Phia, slowly raise your hand and hold it out in front of you so he can sniff it.”  Phia does so, though she seems very nervous.  It reminds Sirius of their first experiment, Severus had asked Remus what his worst memory was.  Remus had replied that it was the day after his first full moon because his parents were afraid of him, because _she_ was afraid of him.  He hadn’t known of the other twin then, but he’s pretty sure Remus had been talking about Phia.

Moony inches slowly and cagily towards Phia, sniffing at her a bit before going and nuzzling at Sirius’ shoulder, apparently satisfied she is not a threat.

“Come on Little Wolf, why don’t we have a seat and you can go to sleep?” Sirius suggests, “Moony, sit?” Moony just whimpers in confusion, a voice comes from behind them.

“Moony, sit.” Moony sits as he looks in excitement at Severus who comes over and squeezes his shoulder.

“Why does he listen to you and not me?” Sirius whines, Severus grins smugly and shrugs.

“Guess he likes me better.” Sirius glares at him but says nothing, sitting petulantly by the fire.  The four of them sit around the unlit fire pit, Sirius tells them about Moony speaking, they seem surprised.

“Moony, say Hi?” Moony seems confused, Sirius has to remind himself he doesn’t know what ‘say’ means, “ _Hi_.” Moony’s eyes light up.

“H-i.” Severus seems very shocked and intrigued.

“I wonder if we can teach him to speak properly, do you think he understands what he’s saying?” Sirius shrugs, then he points to Moony’s chest, tilting his head to the side like Moony does when he’s questioning things and copies his whimper of query.

“Mo-on-eee.” He drags the ‘ee’ sound out a little too long, and his words are all disjointed, but none of that matters in the face of his understanding that he is Moony.

“I doubt he understands that hi is a greeting, but he knows he is Moony,” Sirius replies as Severus smiles brightly at Moony and fluffs up his hair so that he knows he’s done good.

“It’s more intelligence than we gave him credit for, then again, if all someone had met of people was a child deprived of language and morality, well, you get the picture.”

“You know, even if you teach him to speak while in Remus’ body, he still won’t be able to in his own.” Sirius sighs at Phia.

“It’s not his body, or Remus’.  They are one, both belong to both, it’s merely which form they take at the time.  He may not be able to speak while in wolf form, but he’ll be able to understand us.  When he understands us better, and we tell him about all of this, that opens up the possibility of him being able to bring Remus up on full moons like when Remus does during other phases of the moon cycle,” He tells her, she frowns.

“Do you really think any of this will make a difference?” Sirius gives her a half smile as he looks at the wolf, sniffing excitedly around the place as he takes it all in.

“It’ll make a difference to him.”

 

 

The next morning, the others walk out to find Severus and Sirius playing eye spy, Remus curled up in front of them, asleep, and Phia asleep on the other side of the firepit.

“Um…ground?” Severus shakes his head, Sirius sighs, “Fine, I give up, what is it?”

“Git,” He says pointing to Sirius who just looks at him in an odd mix of disbelief, annoyance, and amusement.

“I don’t know how to deal with you sometimes,” He mutters incredulously, Severus chuckles.

“You’d think you’d have learnt your lesson after the first insult,” He tells him, Sirius laughs.

“Maybe I just have faith in your ability to be a decent person.”

“Well that faith is Siriusly misplaced.” They both laugh at the pun, the rest of the group moves to sit around the firepit that Andromeda lights.

“What the hell happened?” James asks incredulously, Sirius stops laughing as he and Severus exchange looks, Sirius goes to answer when Remus rolls over.

“Why so cold?” He sleepily mutters without opening his eyes.

“Because you’re outside,” Sirius explains, releasing a breath of relief, Severus looking pleased with the situation, “You sort of…went out for a walk last night.”

“Frightened the crap out of me,” Phia tells him as she too wakes up, only she manages it much faster.  Remus opens his eyes, blinking several times, spots Bellatrix, goes over to her, lays back down, and puts his head in her lap.  Bellatrix chuckles as she starts stroking her hand through his hair, he smiles contently.

“Sorry, I…oh…I don’t actually remember what happened.” Sirius and Severus look over at him in surprise.

“You don’t?!” They ask simultaneously in alarm, Remus sits up, fully awake now.

“No, why?  I was probably just half-asleep or something.”

“Oh I have no doubt you were fully asleep, but Moony wasn’t,” Severus says pointedly, Remus’ eyes widen.

“On the other hand, huge discovery last night.  Moony can talk.”

“WHAT?!”  Regulus comes stumbling out of the boys’ tent a few seconds after everyone yelled.

“What’s going on?”

“Lycanthropes are an intelligent form of life.”

“Oh, that.  Okay,” He says with a shrug.

“Meanwhile, we now know what happens when you spend too much time outside,” Lily comments, Severus shakes his head.

“No, it doesn’t make any bloody sense.  There are Werewolves who literally work outside their entire lives, and Werewolves who go off the beaten track to live in caves and stuff.  This can’t happen to every Werewolf.”

“So what then?”

“I think it’s because of us, all our work that melded their minds so closely and showed Remus how to allow the wolf part of his mind in, I think we lowered the barrier between them and allowed this to happen.” Remus groans.

“Of course.  Because I totally needed that.”

“We’ll look into it at school, don’t worry.  There’s some other things we need to look into as well, it’s all on the list.”

“Fine, let’s just, not talk about it now, I’m getting a headache.”

 

On the last night of their camping trip, Andromeda has them all sat around the fire, a serious look on her face.

“So, I had an ulterior motive in volunteering to bring you all here,” She tells them, everyone exchanges confused looks as Bellatrix looks at her sister in intrigue, “I’m being disowned.”

“W-What?” Andromeda looks at her sister with sad eyes as she pulls a necklace out of her shirt, on the end is a ring.

“Ted asked me to marry him and…and I said yes.”  Bellatrix’s eyes blaze with a sudden fire.

“So, what, you’re just leaving us?!”

“Bella, you know they won’t let me stay after this.” Bellatrix stands up, wiping at her eyes furiously.

“You’re just going to choose him over your own family?!” She demands angrily, Andromeda seems surprised and confused and hurt by this reaction.  She stands as well, taking a step towards her sister who steps back.

“Weren’t you planning on doing the same thing anyway?”

“I only put up with the talk of Rudolphus so that they didn’t try to marry you off to him!”

“But you are literally planning on being against them in a war!”

“Well I was, then I found out how it feels to have your family turn your back on you, and now I’m beginning to understand how they must feel about him!” She tells her, pointing to Sirius, before storming off to her tent.

“That was…unexpected…” James states, the entire atmosphere of the camp a little dumbfounded.

“I don’t know, I kind of get it,” Phia comments, Marlene rolls her eyes.

“We all _get_ it, we just didn’t expect it.”

“No, that’s what I meant,” Phia replies, everyone looks to her in confusion, she sighs, “You can be planning to do something for as long as you like, you can think you know how it will be and what it will be like.  Then it happens to you and you wonder how you could ever have even considered doing it to others.  Having a sibling choose something else over you is…no amount of thought on the same track makes it any easier.”  She too gets up and leaves after that, Remus watching her walk away, he looks to be considering something before he turns back to the group.

“You know, I think she might still be a little bitter about me going to Hogwarts without her.”  Sirius facepalms, voice muffled when he responds.

“Gee, you think?”

Sufficed to say, the trip back was awkward.

 

Three days later they all received a letter from Bellatrix,

 _And then there were two_ _…_

Immediately after reading this, Remus goes to see Phia.  They hadn’t spoken since she stormed up to her room the second they got back from camping.  He takes a deep breath and knocks on her bedroom door, she doesn’t respond but he walks in anyway.

“Dromeda’s been disowned.”  Phia doesn’t look up from the book she’s reading, he sighs, sitting on the bed beside her, “Look, I know you’re upset with me, but I just watched my girlfriend lose her sister, I need to know I’m not losing my own.”  Still she says nothing, Remus reaches out a hand and takes the book from her.

“Hey!”

“Will you pay attention when I’m talking to you?!”

“You aren’t saying anything I’m interested in hearing.”

“Then what the bloody fuck is it you want to hear Phia, that I’m sorry?”

“No, I don’t want to hear that Remus, I want it to be true!” He looks at her in anger as he throws her book to the other side of the room.

“HOW CAN YOU SIT THERE ACTING LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT?  LIKE I ABANDONED YOU?  YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DECIDED NOT TO GO!  YOU WORRY ABOUT HOW I FIT IN TO THE WIZARDING WORLD YET PURPOSELY LEAVE ME ALONE IN IT!  YOU LEFT ME PHIA!  YOU CAN BLAME IT ON ME, OR ON GREYBACK, OR THE FACT THAT I’M A FUCKING WEREWOLF, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, YOU. LEFT. ME!” He screams at her, she looks at him in shock, he seems shocked himself but he’s too far gone now to really care, “You make it seem like you did this for my benefit, because you care about me.  You didn’t.  I don’t know why you hate wizards so much, or the wizarding world, or magic.  But whatever it is clearly has _nothing_ to do with who I am, so whatever the fuck it is going around in your head, _stop blaming it on me_!  Because I am fucking sick of being your excuse.”

“How can you say that to me?” She asks him, tears falling down her face though she ignores them, “After everything I’ve done for you?” He scoffs, growing angry again.

“EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE FOR ME?!  ALL YOU’VE EVER BLOODY DONE IS BLAME ME, AND RUN AWAY.  JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN DAD LEFT, JUST LIKE YOU DID WHEN HE CAME BACK, JUST LIKE YOU DID AFTER THE FIRE, AFTER DEREK, AFTER THE LETTERS AND AFTER I WENT TO HOGWARTS!  ALL YOU EVER DO IS LEAVE!” She scrunches her face up in anger as she gets off her bed, standing up and glaring at him.

“WELL IF THAT’S HOW YOU FEEL, THEN TAKE A PAGE FROM MY BOOK OF LEAVING AND _GET THE FUCK OUT_!” She screams at him, he does, slamming the door behind him.  Less than a second later he hears something hit the door loudly and knows he just narrowly missed being hit by whatever it is she decided would make a good projectile.

Remus ignores all of creation for the rest of the summer, moodily playing music in his room as loud as possible or leaving to hang out with Derek, barely a word to anyone about it.

 

When Remus arrives at Kings Cross, he doesn’t look for his friends like usual, he just gets on the train and goes to their usual compartment.  Half an hour later, the others appear, they look quite relieved to find Remus on the train.

“Mate, we thought you’d miss the train!” James comments as soon as they enter, “No one’s heard from you, we were worried.”

“Oh yes, everyone’s oh so worried about Remus fucking Lupin,” He mutters angrily, James seems unsure how to proceed with the conversation and instead elects to slowly enter the cabin and take a seat, the others following suit.  It’s when they are all seated that he notices there is ever so slightly more room than there should be, “Where are Trixie, Reg, and Sev?”

“Slytherin carriage,” Sirius replies, Remus immediately gets up and leaves, “Um…bye?”

 

“Trixie, can I talk to you for a minute?” Remus asks when he finds her, completely ignoring everyone else, she seems concerned about his mood but nods, following him to an empty area for some privacy, “I’m sorry I never wrote back about your sister.” She scowls.

“She is not my sister, not anymore.” Remus sighs.

“Trixie, you were going to do the same thing for me, remember?” She frowns but nods.

“I know I just, I suppose I just realised that my family is the most important thing to me, and how can she just leave it?”

“You hate everything they stand for,” He deadpans, she shakes her head furiously.

“That’s the thing though, I don’t, some of the things they say make sense!  Lily’s parents for example, they’re muggles, but they have literally _been_ to Diagon Alley, they see magic all the time, how is that not a breach of the secrecy act?!” His eyes widen.

“Do you even _hear_ yourself Trixie?”

“Look I just, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I don’t want to abandon my family because we disagree on a few things.” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose momentarily before he looks back up at her.

“Completely side stepping the fact that these ‘few things’ are literally people’s right to _live_ , where exactly does this leave me?  Your family will never truly approve of me or let us be together.”

“They might change their minds!”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!  The only reason they put up with me now is because they think I agree with them!”

“Well whose fault is that?!”

“That is not what I meant!” He tells her fiercely before glancing around and lowering his voice again, “Is this just _it_ for us then?”

“No!  Remy, no!  I just…I just think maybe they shouldn’t know about it.” He snorts.

“Bit late for that Love.” She sighs.

“Not if we told them we split up.”

“You want me to date you in secret while you go off and marry Lestrange?” He asks her bewildered, she groans.

“If that’s what it takes!”

“And what, I’m supposed to just be okay with you two being married and having heirs while I’m basically just your side hoe?”

“It’s not like we could ever do the whole getting married and having kids thing anyway!” He seems confused but no less angry.

“Why the hell not?!”

“I don’t want to just be left alone with kids once a month, I mean what would we tell them?  And what if something went wrong, if we missed or forgot or miscalculated?  I don’t want my children at risk, I don’t want children with…” She trails off, the fight draining out of her, her eyes widen as she realises what she was about to say.  Unfortunately, Remus realises too,

“With a monster.”

“That is not what I said Remus!”

“You didn’t really have to.  It’s fair enough really, I mean who would.  I could go savage and attack, bite, eat, kill, you, our children, anyone around me.  Just a dangerous, wild fucking animal, aren’t I?” Her eyes fill with tears but she says nothing, wrapping her arms around herself and looking to the her boots, he scoffs, looking away angrily, “Fine then.  Enjoy your precious family.  Hope not losing them is worth the life of everyone that’s ever _actually_ cared about you.”  He leaves, steadfastly ignoring the calls after him.

 

 

“Remus, you okay?  You weren’t at dinner.”  James approaches his bed cautiously as he watches the boy who has yet to roll over and face them but is still very clearly awake.

“I’m pretty certain Trixie and I broke up, Phia isn’t talking me, my parents are pissed at me, and I can’t find a fucking lighter to save my life.”  The other three boys aren’t quite sure how to broach any of this, Peter beats a hasty retreat to his own bed, Sirius rolling his eyes at Peter as he and James sit on Remus’ bed with him.

“Well, I don’t have a lighter, but I know how to create a spark with my wand…innuendo not intended but I’m still proud of it,” Sirius tells him, “But…I don’t really want to help you start a fire…I’ve heard too many stories of what Slytherin common room looked like in second year.” Remus chuckles a little at that, rolling over to face them at last.

“Yeah, fair call.  I suppose throwing fireballs at the wall wouldn’t really help anyway.”

“You know, I genuinely cannot tell if you are joking or not,” James informs him, he and Sirius both laugh at that, “So, what happened with Bella?”

“She’s your friend, I don’t want to bad mouth her.”

“Moony, she is our friend, and I love Bella, but we only even got close to her because of you.  Not that I’m taking sides in this, but we’re Marauders first, remember?”

“I’m blatantly taking sides, and I’m taking yours,” Sirius says, holding a hand up to indicate to himself, Remus chuckles again only this time it sounds a little more wet and a lot less happy.

“I didn’t write to her after what happened with Drom, I had shit going on with Phia and made some admittedly questionable decisions that led to shit with my parents and honestly I was incapable of reading, let alone writing a coherent sentence, for a lot of the summer.  So I went to apologise to her on the train and make sure she’s okay.”

“How did that lead to you two breaking up?” Remus sighs, going quiet for a moment before answering James’ question.

“Well, we were talking about her family, and one thing led to another, and she has apparently decided that she doesn’t want to have children with me because I’m a risk to them because I’m a Lycanthrope, an animal,…a monster.”  Sirius uses the opportunity when Remus closes his eyes to share a look with James.  They had finally been past this mindset, and now here they are again.  They don’t know what Bellatrix said to him, but they will convince him otherwise if it is the last damned thing that they do.

“Okay, well, you aren’t a monster, we know that.  If I had any worries about that I’d never let you around my Brother and yet, I completely trust you with him, I wouldn’t even do that with Pete!”

“Hey!”

“Oh shut it, you don’t get to stand up for yourself while hiding away like a fucking coward.”  Peter glares at Sirius but says nothing more, Sirius turns back to Remus.

“You will be a great Father one day Remus, and if she’s so caught up in herself and her families stupid and hateful ideals, then she isn’t the Mother your children deserve to have.”  Remus bites his lip unsurely, Sirius uses every inch of his willpower to not look, “My nieces, nephews, and godchildren deserve the best.  Not someone who would call a perfectly loving creature a monster.”  Remus smiles, though his eyes are still filled with tears, he blinks them away.

“What happened with Phia?” James asks, thinking that the Bellatrix situation has been dealt with as much as possible for the moment, Remus growls slightly as he throws himself back onto the bed and glares at the roof.

“I called her out on her Bullshit, she kicked me out of her room, we haven’t spoken since.”

“You want to elaborate on that a tad?” James asks, Remus sighs before he gets up, pacing the length of the room.

“She’s always so spiteful and angry about my being here, but _she_ _’_ _s_ the one who decided not to come along!  She makes it sound like it’s my fault she’s alone but she made her fucking choice!  She can’t keep blaming that on me just because she’s miserable.  She leaves, and abandons her family, and never takes responsibility for her own damned actions, running from the consequences, and expecting everyone else to just take her shit.  I was fucking sick of it and I bloody well told her so.”

“I’m supposing she didn’t take that well,” James comments with a grimace, Remus doesn’t respond, instead turning around and brutally punching the wall, his fist going straight through it.

“Okay, why don’t we all calm down a bit, take some deep breaths and just…not wreck the place,” Sirius awkwardly suggests in what was supposed to be a soothing voice but was more patronising than anything, Remus glares at him before he takes a deep breath and visibly tries to calm down.  It doesn’t work, but at least he’s more conscious of his anger now.

“Sorry,” He tells them curtly, Sirius gestures for him to continue with his story, “I got annoyed, I screamed at her, she was hurt by what I said, and instead of stopping to comfort her or even care about her own feelings, I threw her book across the room and continued screaming at her until eventually she’d apparently had enough and screamed at me to get the fuck out.”

“And?” Sirius prompts, Remus sighs, shoulder sagging.

“And I did.  Didn’t see much of her after that.”

“I assume this somehow ties into the thing with your parents?” James asks, Remus grimaces.

“To be honest, I think that had less to do with Phia and more to do with their disapproval of my friends.”

“Friends?  Or Derek?” Remus glares at him, he holds his hands up in a placating manner, “Not agreeing with them, I’m just not loving all the things I’ve heard about him is all.”

“Yeah well you’ve never even met him so…”

“Why don’t we then?  Christmas holidays, how about you introduce us?” Sirius suggests, Remus scoffs.

“Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“Why not?”

“Because he and his crew will beat the shit out of a couple of posh blokes sticking their noses into their business.” James takes a deep breath, reminding himself to be patient.  _Anything else will only escalate the situation, he_ _’_ _s not being purposely oblivious, Moony_ _’_ _s just being Moony._

“Okay, can you understand why that sentence might make us worry for you?”

“I think you forgot sometimes that I’m not like the two of you, I’m not rich, and for most of my life I was living as a Muggle.  So how do you think introducing a couple of rich wizards who are oblivious to the ways of muggles to a bunch of street thugs is going to go down?”

“Why are you friends with street thugs Remus?!” Sirius asks, apparently being done with the gentle approach, James sighs as he sees Remus tensing up for a fight.

“BECAUSE I WAS ONE OF THEM!” He yells, Sirius and James look at each other in confusion, Remus sighs, “What my parents don’t know is that I introduced Derek to the others, not the other way around.  What he is, what he’s become, the trouble he’s gotten himself into, it’s my fault.  And yes, things with him ended very badly last time, but I can’t help feeling responsible for him.  I brought him into that life, I can’t just abandon him there!”

“You can’t blame yourself for the decisions other people make.  This is no more your fault than Phia’s choices.  No more your fault than Dumbledore regretting the kind of toast he ate this morning because he’s now wishing he’d used a different spread.” Remus looks at Sirius awkwardly for a moment before he sighs.

“Look it’s just, it’s more complicated than that, and it doesn’t even matter okay?”  James nods hesitantly.

“Okay then.”  It would have been the end of the conversation had Sirius not grabbed Remus’ arm as he tried to walk past and back to his bed.

“Remy, as far as Bella goes, no one stays with someone for two and a half years only to suddenly decide she believes something totally different than she always has.  Once she’s had a chance to calm down, she might come around.” Remus looks lost again for a moment before a hard look comes over his eyes and he nods shortly before going back to his bed and pulling the blinds shut.  James and Sirius share a helpless look before James gives a shrug, the worried look not leaving his face.

“We’ll deal with it tomorrow, good night Sirius.” Sirius sighs but nods, heading to his own bed.

“Yeah, good night.”


	20. An Unfortunate Circumstance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was point out to me that I've been spelling Rodolphus' name wrong so I've edited the chapter to correct it, apologies!

Chapter 20

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

“Bellatrix!” Sirius calls as he jogs down the hallway to reach her, she doesn’t stop walking.

“What do you want cousin?” He raises an eyebrow at her rude response but says nothing of it.

“To talk to you.”

“Obviously, what is it you wish to say?”

“Why are you doing this?”  She stops short, turning to glare at him.

“Doing what?”

“Giving in.” Her glare deepens.

“Oh, I see, so it’s okay for you to follow what you believe, but the moment I do the same, I’m the bad guy?”

“This is not what you believe, it never has been!”

“YOU DON’T GET TO DECIDE THAT!” She screams at him, very high pitch and very sudden, his eyes widen as he takes a step back, then she’s suddenly calm again, smiling even, “Just leave me to be happy, okay?  Not everyone can let the family down and smile about it.  Some of us actually see the other side and choose to uphold tradition instead of ignoring our responsibilities and dragging our siblings down with us.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”  She seems angry again very suddenly.

“You can do whatever you like Sirius, just make sure Regulus is doing the same.”  With that she storms off and he feels more confused than he did when the conversation started.

 

“Hey, how’d it go?” James asks when Sirius joins him in the Great hall for breakfast, Sirius sighs, for once grateful that Remus was avoiding the hall.

“It’s hard to have a rational conversation with someone who is clearly insane.  I have no idea what in the hell just happened, but it wasn’t any kind of sense.  I don’t know what they did to her, but this is not right.”

They’ve been back at school a week, by now the entire school new that the cutest couple of Hogwarts have separated in a rather messy way, though obviously none know the details.  The group made sure to keep tight-lipped about it, they could only hope that Bellatrix does the same.

A moment after Sirius had spoken, Remus walks in the door, the whole school looking at him in surprise.  He hunches his shoulders awkwardly as he walks in and takes a seat.

“Too quiet in the kitchens,” He mumbles as he begins eating his food, ignoring the pitying looks he receives from those around him.

After breakfast they all get up to grab their stuff for the day from the tower, however upon leaving the hall with the other students, Remus stops short.  The others frown, following his line of sight and immediately understanding.  Bellatrix and Rodolphus walk through the hall, his arm over her shoulders and hers around his waist, Remus turns and walks right out of the castle, none of them follow.  They all get the feeling that company is the last thing he wants right now.

“I never thought she’d do it, not for real,” Peter says, shock in his voice, Sirius clenches his fists.  Severus and James take that as a sign they should steer him away and continue their trek to Gryffindor tower.

“None of us did,” Marlene tells him, her eyes looking suspiciously watery.

“What happens now?  To us, I mean,” Lily asks quietly, James looks at her out of the corner of his eye for a moment.

“What are you talking about Evans?”

“This group tends to fall apart at the slightest nudge, is it going to be any different this time?”

“Why, you planning to skip the middle man and leave now?  Is that it?  Things get tough and you just turn your back?” Sirius demands, James puts a hand on his arm, shutting him up.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what, pray tell, did you mean?”

“I don’t want a repeat of last year.”  Everyone takes a breath, trying to remain calm.

“You really think that will happen?” Mary asks nervously, Lily shrugs.

“Never really takes long to set Slytherin off, doesn’t take a genius to realise Remus won’t act against Bella, no matter how angry he is.”

“Surely they realise that any reaction they do get will be out of blind rage and potentially very dangerous for them, though, right?” James asks in concern, Severus shakes his head.

“They want Remus gone, if it takes a few sacrifices for him to get himself expelled, they’re more than willing to make them.”

“But Dumbledore…”

“None of them give a crap what Dumbledore says.  All he can do is expel them, they’ve bigger things to deal with.  They tried getting Remus on their side, it didn’t work, their only option is to get rid of him before he truly becomes a problem.”

“This is just school shit though!  None of this matters!” Mary exclaims desperately, Severus shakes his head.

“They use this stuff to prove themselves, and lately, they haven’t been doing much proving except proving themselves incapable of dealing with a half-blood, or standing against Dumbledore’s orders.  I don’t know what’s going to happen, but whatever it is, we need to keep Remus out of it.”  Sirius nods.

“Then we will.”

 

 

“Mr Lupin, nice of you to join us,” McGonagall remarks as Remus walks in, half an hour late to Transfiguration.  He’d skipped first lesson entirely, “I’m curious to hear what reason you could possibly have to be thirty minutes late to my lesson.”  Remus shrugs, Mary sighs as Lily buries her face in her hands and James shakes his head, the whole group, and the class, and McGonagall herself, all know whatever he says next is not going to be good.

“A lack of motivation to attend,” He replies offhandedly, Sirius drops his head to the table, McGonagall narrows her eyes in blatant irritation.

“As I am sure you are already aware, that is not a good enough reason to be late to my class.”

“Does that mean it is for other classes?  Because if so, I am missing out on so many opportunities.”

“Thirty points from Gryffindor Mr Lupin.” He sighs but doesn’t argue, Gryffindor house let’s out a sigh of relief, while breathing in again, Sirius gets a whiff of something, discreetly leaning closer to smell his friend.

“Bollocks,” He curses under his breath as he levels a glare at Remus, after ensuring McGonagall wouldn’t see, “Are you fucking serious Lupin?!”

“If I were, I’m quite certain you’d know about it,” He replies with a wink, Sirius blushes furiously.

“Do I want to know why you smell of whiskey?” Remus shrugs.

“Probably not, gotta say though, I really don’t care.”

“Yes, because you’re drunk!”  Only James hears him speak, immediately turning a nervous look on Remus who completely ignores it, “We will talk at length about this later!”  Sirius promises harshly as McGonagall turns to the class once more, Remus rolls his eyes, replying snarkily,

“Yes Mum.”

 

The group go out to the tree for lunch, as usual.  As soon as they leave the classroom, Sirius grabs Remus’ arm and drags him the entire way down there before he shoves him roughly in front of him.

“Where the fuck did you even _get_ it?  And what the actual hell were you thinking?!  Showing up to class drunk?!!”

“You…what?!” Lily asks, turning to Remus who rolls his eyes and sinks to the floor, laying back comfortably.

“I am not drunk, I am the slightest bit tipsy.”

“WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING SHIT REMUS JOHN LUPIN?!” Lily screams at him, shocking everyone.

“Wow, didn’t think you had it in you Evans.  As for your questions Black, I was _thinking_ that I deserve a fucking break, and I got it from Hogsmeade.”

“I-you-what?!”

“You’re so very underage, you’re fourteen!  How did you get it?  How’d you get to Hogsmeade?” Peter asks incredulously as Lily continues spluttering incoherently.

“Well, obviously no one was going to sell it to me, so I…took the decision out of their hands so they didn’t have to,” He replies, Sirius sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

“So, you stole it.”

“Yeah 100%.” Sirius picks up a stick and ditches it at him, it shatters in mid-air, the others flinch at the display of power, “That wasn’t very nice.”

“Remus, you can’t just do this!  What if McGonagall had noticed?!”

“I’d have been suspended again I expect.”

“For god’s sake Remy, could you at least try to care a little bit more about your life please?” Remus chuckles darkly, turning over and sitting up, kneeling but sitting on his ankles as he looks at Sirius.

“What life?  I make it through school, then what?  I’ll never hold down a job, I’ll never be able to afford a house, or even rent.  I can’t live off my parents forever and I’ll certainly have little to no inheritance when they die.  Excuse me for not being too worried about my lack of future being any more lacking in opportunities,” Remus drawls, Sirius looks annoyed.

“You can’t just give up, you don’t like how things are?  Change it!  Don’t just sit here feeling sorry for yourself.”  Remus stands up, opening his mouth to respond, but James stands in between them.

“Okay, deep breaths, let’s not fight amongst ourselves, okay?  Let’s just get some food and some coffee into you, and go from there,” He suggests, looking between the two but focusing the suggestion towards Remus, both of them nod, he nods as well, “Good, let’s go.”

 

The next few days, things seem to settle down a bit, though Remus was by no definition in a happy mindset.  Then, walking down the hall, they see Rodolphus Lestrange mocking a third year about being a muggle-born, and Bellatrix standing back watching, laughing.  Lily walked up and punched her in the face, successfully distracting Rodolphus enough for Mary and Marlene to get the third year out, taking him to the Hufflepuff common room and making sure he’s okay.  Severus pulls a wand out, threatening Rodolphus.  Slughorn comes upon the scene, all four of them get detention.  When Sirius and James turn back to Peter and Remus, they find Remus gone.

They aren’t all that surprised to return to their dorm and find him drinking out of a bottle, instead of judging him or yelling at him again, they just stay with him.  Sitting with their friend as he gets completely pissed, cleaning him up when he throws up, Peter sitting with him as he pukes into the toilet whilst the other two clean the room and change their robes.  Holding him when he inevitably breaks down, and putting him to bed.  As soon as he’s passed out, Sirius remains on the bed, stroking his hair and keeping an eye on him while the other two search the room and take any alcohol they find down to Mary and Marlene who hide it in their dorm, knowing Remus can’t get to it there.

 

“Ugh, I don’t even know what happened yet but I regret everything,” Remus complains upon waking, he knows he’s hungover, he doesn’t remember much of the actual drinking though.  Slowly he rolls onto his side, opening his eyes, only mildly surprised to see the whole group there, girls included though no Regulus and obviously no Bellatrix.  He feels an all too familiar ache in his chest as he notices the lack, he blinks back tears and clears his throat, “Morning?”

“We have a potion that will cure what is no doubt a massive hangover, and we will give it to you, just as soon as you agree to a few rules,” Marlene declares without preamble, Remus sighs, wincing at the nausea that brings up.  Sirius kicks a bucket forward to land beside his bed just as Remus leans over and vomits.

“You really are charming in the mornings.”

“Fuck off Evans.”

“Lovely.”  Sirius ignores the both of them, cleaning out the bucket and resting a hand on Remus’ back until the boy nods at him and lays back on his bed, a hand on his forehead, eyes closed.

“So what are these rules?”

“We’ve taken all the alcohol out of here, first rule is you don’t try to get anymore.”  Remus opens his mouth, no doubt to complain, object, or just plain argue, but Mary holds a hand up to stop him before taking over from Marlene.

“Second rule is, if you do want to drink, you come to us.  We aren’t necessarily going to disallow you, but we will monitor consumption.  Only under very specific circumstances will we allow it during the week.  Those circumstances being you manage to convince Lily.  Weekends, we’ll be more lenient.”

“Oh, how kind of you.”  They all ignore his comment.

“Third rule, if you are feeling like shit, come to one of us, even if you just want to sit in silence and mope, at least don’t do it alone.”

“And fourth and final rule, don’t do anything rash or stupid out of anger or depression.”  Remus opens his eyes and looks to Sirius who looks far more serious than Remus thinks he has any right to.

“Out of curiosity, what happens if I break these rules?”  James sighs, looking at him with sad eyes.

“Nothing Remus, we just hope you trust and respect us enough to follow them anyway.”  Remus looks away from James, looking back up at the ceiling and biting his lip, he takes a shaky breath and nods, everyone pretends not to see the tear that runs down his face as he does.

 

It’s two days later he gets a letter at breakfast that bursts into flames in his hands as he glares at it, immediately storming out.  Sirius follows, as does Lily.  The others look at the pile of still burning paper and ash in worry for a moment.  James dumps his pumpkin juice on it, putting out the fire before they all follow after the others, rushing to catch up to Sirius and Lily.

No one’s all that surprised to see him pacing and pulling at his hair in the dorm, it a mess thanks to frantic searching around it.  When they enter he turns to look at them, gaze dropping to the ground and looking ashamed before he looks up at Lily and whispers, “Please.”

Lily bites her lip for a moment, knowing she shouldn’t.  It’s just past 8am on a Friday morning, but she knows he won’t work at the moment anyway, and also that they need to ease him into this arrangement or he’ll rebel against it in desperation.  She nods, Mary leaves to retrieve a bottle, James grabs a cup from his bedside table, rinsing it in the bathroom sink before handing it to Lily at the same time Mary hands the bottle of firewhiskey to her.  She pours a generous amount into the cup before handing it to Remus who immediately downs the entire thing before he just sits on the ground beside his bed, the others all sit around and join him.

“Want to talk about it?” James asks, Remus bites his lip, a glazed look in his eye that has nothing to do with alcohol.

“Trixie wrote to Phia about what happened.  Apparently she’d suspected I hadn’t told Phia and felt my Twin might be of some support.  Of course she didn’t bother to question _why_ I wouldn’t have told her.  Now Phia’s told our parents so that they can comfort me because she doesn’t want to do it herself.  I don’t even know what to think, I mean, if she and Julie broke up I’d be the first to contact her and try and help, regardless of how things are between us.  How can she just suddenly not care about me?”  Lily puts a hand over his shaking ones and leans her head against his shoulder.

“I don’t know what it is she was thinking, obviously she should still be there for you, you’re her brother, her twin!  But one thing I _do_ know, is that she does love you.  More than anything, she does love you.  I think that might have more to do with this than either of us realise.”  Remus wipes furiously at his face, chuckling without humour.

“Wow, I am just completely pathetic apparently.”

“You aren’t pathetic, you’re hurt.  You aren’t the only one.  Bella left us too you know,”  Peter tells him, Remus looks at him in surprise, unused to hearing such things from him, but he nods seriously.

“I know.”

 

With everything going on, it’s not until two weeks and several break downs later that Remus realises something.

“Where the fuck has Sev been?” Everyone looks around awkwardly, the group hanging out in the boys’ dorm.  Remus had casually glanced around the room and noticed that none of Severus’ stuff was there anymore, though his bed remained.  Lily clears her throat awkwardly,

“With Regulus, he’s the only one in Slytherin who will watch out for him now.”  Remus raises an eyebrow at her, she grimaces but says nothing more.

“Right, and where has Potter been?  He keeps disappearing.”  Sirius and Peter share a frowny face.

“We have no idea, he’s been skipping out on us frequently.  Taking the cloak and heading out at night mostly,” Sirius replies, “I’ve decided that until he comes frantically asking for help because the castle is about to explode and that will most definitely end in him being expelled and grounded for eternity, he’s fine.”

“The better question is, how did you get into Hogsmeade?” Peter asks, the group looks at him in exasperation, but Remus just grins conspiratorially.

“Marauder’s secret, I’ll tell you later,” He promises, Peter nods, accepting this.  The girls mutter about favouritism, but are honestly too relieved at Remus’ elevated mood to truly complain.

“Didn’t we come up here to do homework?” Mary asks suddenly, Marlene covers her mouth with her hand.

“Shh, don’t remind them!”

“Too late,” Remus and Lily say simultaneously, the two grin at each other before they all get to work.

 

“Oh, fuck, I am so sor…” Remus trails off as he sees who it is he had collided with, Bellatrix Black sprawls on the floor surrounded by both their books in the library, “…ry, I uh, I’m sorry.”

“Just, watch where you’re going Lupin.” He swallows harshly, then holds out a hand to help her up.  She takes it and pulls herself up, she grabs the book as Remus levitates them, sorting them between the two of them, “Thanks.”

“Did I mean so little to you that we break up and you’re just fine?” He asks, he hadn’t meant to, it just slipped out.  Bellatrix looks heart broken, immediately opening her mouth before she freezes, her expression morphing into a sneer.

“Yes, best get used to it and quit moping around, you’re bringing everyone down and it’s getting to be quite dull.”  With that she turns and leaves.

Remus spends the entire walk to History of Magic repeating Rule Number 4 over and over again in his head.  _Don_ _’_ _t do anything rash or stupid out of anger or depression, don_ _’_ _t do anything rash or stupid out of anger or depression, don_ _’_ _t do anything_ _…_ _oh fucking bloody fuckering balls!_ He thinks to himself as he realises that his lesson is with Slytherin.

 

“Everything okay?” James asks as Remus sits down rather aggressively, Remus just holds a hand up at him.

“Don’t even.”  James wisely backs off.

“Professor Binns, I was wondering, why did the laws concerning Werewolves and other dark creatures change?” Avery asks, almost innocently, the group tenses up. _Oh my god did she tell?  No she wouldn_ _’_ _t have, my Trixie would_ never _do that_ _…_ _then again, she hasn_ _’_ _t been my Trixie in a while_ _…_ Remus slumps into his seat, he doesn’t speak up again until the end of the lesson.

“…and that’s why these dangerous creatures are now allowed to live.”

“Lovely how some things have to fight for their right to live,” Remus mutters under his breath, Binns turns to look at him.

“What was that, Mr Lupin?”  Gryffindor house glares at him, they had not won the house cup in the four years he had been at this school.  They seemed to lay the blame of that in two equal places, the Marauder’s pranks, and Remus’ feud with Binns.

“Why do we have more of a right to live than they do?” This was possibly the most civil way Remus has ever phrased a question to Binns, and in response the Professor gives him a significantly softer look than usual.

“Because we have the power to decide, and a strong will for survival.”

“But we have the intelligence, mental capacity, and moral guidance to be able to look past simple survival and realise there is more to life.  To realise that compassion, and living in harmony with all creatures is the only way peace can truly be brought and maintained.  Why do we never listen to that side of ourselves instead of our baser instincts?  Isn’t that exactly what you’re judging them for doing?”

“Humanity is a very hypocritical race Mr Lupin, the sooner you accept that, the happier and easier your life will be.”  Remus shakes his head.

“I refuse to just be content while lifeforms are suffering because humans abuse their power.”

“Mr Lupin, you wish to change how things are, yes?  You wish to make people listen to your opinion, and give the ministry no choice but to change the current laws, no matter what you must do to make it happen?” Remus nods strongly, “What is it exactly that you think you-know-who is doing?”

“Sir!  I hardly think…” Lily begins protesting, Binns holds a hand up to silence her, Remus merely nods at Binns.

“I see your point, now see mine.  People are suffering, people are dying, people are living in fear as they fight,” Remus tells him, Binns nods

“War does that.”  Remus smirks, though it’s more sad than anything.

“Yes it does, if only people were to realise these people were fighting their war long before you-know-who came around.” Binns seems rather stumped by that and merely nods.

“You have an interesting life ahead of you Mr Lupin, I do hope you do not die because of your ideals.”

“So do I Professor, though I suppose there are worse ways to go than fighting for what you believe in.”  Binns nods.

“Quite.”

 

 

“First Hogsmeade weekend!” Lily calls excitedly as she jumps on Remus’ sleeping body.

“Is t’rly,” He complains, she lays beside him, poking his face repeatedly as the other girls attempt to wake the other three, “Nugh, Lilllyyyyyyyy,” He whines as he grabs her head and pulls her down beside him properly, throwing an arm around her, “Now go slp.”

“I forgot how adorable he is when he’s still basically asleep,” Marlene comments in amusement, James chuckles as he wakes up.  He looks over to see Sirius pointedly not looking at Remus and Lily spooning.

“Much as I love sleepy, adorable, and apparently quite snuggly Remus, you gotta wake up!”  Lily tells him, he continues whining, Lily sighs, looking to the others.  “How do you wake him up usually?” James reaches into his bedside table and chucks something to Lily.

“Wave it under his nose.” Lily looks at it and sees it’s a chocolate bar, she raises an eyebrow.

“Seriously?” James nods as Remus chuckles slightly.

“Ha, Sirius.”

“Oh for the love of everything,” Sirius grumbles as he makes his bed, unsurprised to hear the sudden,

“I’m awake, chocolate?”  He knows if he turns around he’ll see the full ‘I’m adorable plz give me chocolate’ pout Remus wears oh so well, so he doesn’t turn around until he hears the wrapper opening.  Somehow his happy and content little smile is just as bad and Sirius wishes he hadn’t looked at all, he looks away.

“So, out of curiosity, you aren’t going to be arrested if we go to Hogsmeade are you?” Marlene asks Remus, ignoring the fact that she can see part of his extensive scarring when he stretches and his shirt rides up.

“Why would I be…oh right, no, I won’t be.”

 

An hour later finds the seven of them sitting on the ground outside the town.

“What do you guys want to do after school?” Mary asks, James looks at her confused.

“Mary it’s a weekend, we don’t _have_ school.”

“She means after we graduate, dumbarse,” Remus tells him exasperatedly, James throws a stick at him.

“I’m going to be a healer,” Marlene replies when no one else speaks, James shrugs.

“Professional Quidditch player.”

“I haven’t really thought about it to be honest,” Peter tells them, no one’s terribly surprised.

“I want to perform.  Singing, acting, I don’t know yet.  Maybe musicals?” Mary tells them, Sirius snorts.

“Well you certainly entertain us.” She narrows her eyes at him.

“Why do I feel like you’ve just insulted me?”

“Because I tried to and worded it badly, although I guess if you picked up on it it can’t have been _that_ bad.”

“I think it’s wonderful Mary, you’d be great at that,” Remus tells her encouragingly, her face lights up happily.  Remus doesn’t think anyone else she’s told has been all that supportive.

“I’m not sure what I want to do.  Before I knew about magic, I wanted to be a teacher, but now…I feel like there’s a whole world of possibilities out there that I’m not even aware of,” Lily tells them all, James looks at her in a considering fashion.

“Maybe you should speak to McGonagall, she might be able to introduce you to some new ideas and you can see what you think.  But for the record, I think you’d make a fantastic teacher.” Lily blushes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Th-thanks, I might do that.”

“What about you Remy?” Marlene asks, Remus shrugs.

“Doesn’t really matter, I’m not really going to be able to hold down a job anyway.”  Everyone looks distinctly uncomfortable.

“Life of the party you are,” Sirius comments dryly after a few minutes, Remus chuckles a bit and shrugs.

“No point shying away from the truth, just gotta make the best of it I suppose.”

“Come on, let’s not waste our weekend having a discussion we can have at any time.”  They all agree and head back into Hogsmeade.

 

 

“I can’t believe you’re fifteen in a week,” James says to Sirius who grins and throws an arm over his shoulder.

“Believe it, I am growing up, getting wiser…”

“Getting old?” Marlene offers, Sirius waves her off.

“My dear Marley, men don’t get old.  Women get old, men merely become more sophisticated.”  Mary, Marlene, and Lily all stop walking to look at him.

“Is that so?” Marlene challenges, raising an eyebrow at him, he winks at her, she rolls his eyes, “I’ll show you how bloody sophisticated you are.  Come on girls.”  The three leave, James shrugs Sirius’ arm off of him.

“I sincerely hope they are only punishing you for that remark,” He says as he shakes his head, “Right, I have to go…do something…I’ll see you lads later.”

“Curfew is in an hour Potter!” Remus calls after him, he just waves a hand as he walks away, Remus rolls his eyes, biting back the rather scathing comment building in his throat.

“So, everything sorted for my party?” Sirius asks, the other two nod, “Still won’t give me any details though?”  Peter snorts.

“To be honest, Moony took care of most of it.”

“So you all decided you’d rather not know the details either?” Peter nods, Remus laughs.

“You guys overestimate how much trouble I get into.”

“No, we just don’t underestimate how much you don’t get caught for,” Sirius replies, Remus pretends to be affronted as he rises from the common room couch and stalks up to the dorm.  A moment later they hear a crash, a slam, a kerfluffle, and then Remus Lupin is sprawled at the bottom of the stairs.

“Ow, fuck, ow.  I’m an idiot.”  Peter bursts out laughing as Sirius rushes over and makes sure he’s okay.

“You really are a mess, aren’t you?”  He helps Remus up, he sways for a moment before righting himself.

“Okay, take two.”  He walks very carefully up the stairs, Sirius watches him to entire way, laughing at the proud grin Remus sends him when he reaches the top and manages to open the door, then he’s gone and Sirius is still smiling.

“Could you _look_ more dopey?” Peter asks, Sirius glares at him.

“Shut up Pete.”

 

“Sirius, wake up!” Sirius opens his eyes to see James Potter standing over him, a hand over his mouth to stop any noise escaping as he wakes, “Shh, don’t wake Moony.”  He then goes and wakes Peter the same way and gestures for them to follow him down to the common room.

“What the hell is so important you had to tell us at 3am?” Sirius complains, James hands him an open book.  Sirius raises an eyebrow before looking to the page, then back up to James.

“Are you serious?”

“No, you are.”  Sirius hits him with the book, “Yes, I’m serious.  You wanted a way to help Moony, I found one.  I tracked down all the ingredients and I know what we need to do.  I’m doing this, with or without you.”  Sirius and Peter exchange looks before they nod.

“He’s refusing allowing me to come with him tomorrow night, doesn’t think Moony will take the separation from his Mate well.”

“Then, let’s do this.”

 

 

The wait for Sirius’ birthday is a thankfully uneventful one.  The only significant one is Remus going to McGonagall and apologising for being a twat lately, this conversation ends with Remus spilling everything about his parents and twin and separation from Bellatrix while sipping on tea and nibbling on cookies.  The others aren’t sure how exactly this happens, but Remus comes back with some advanced Transfiguration work that he very happily gets stuck into.

And Pete nearly chokes on a leaf, no one knows why he had a leaf in his mouth, he claimed not to either, James mentions that they left the window open and Pete snores with his mouth hanging open so perhaps it just floated right in…Remus starts watching the other three Marauders rather closer after that.

Finally Sirius’ birthday arrives, they sing Happy Birthday at breakfast, much to his amusement.  He stands and gives a sweeping bow afterwards simply because he enjoys the attention, it makes Regulus laugh.

That night they wait until the first, second, and third years go to bed, upon demand of Lily, before they start the party.  There are two clear labels on the punch bowls, one says ‘is spiked’ the other says ‘is not’, just so that everyone is clear on it.

They have muggle music playing loudly and all thank Merlin for silencing charms.

“Why’re we th’nkin Merln?  Who’ctual made it?” James asks two hours later as he leans on an equally drunken Sirius who giggles at the question.

“Reeemmmyyyyyy we need yer braaainn!” Marlene calls, not as drunk at Sirius and James but still by no means sober.  Remus hears them from the other side of the room and rolls his eyes as he walks over, Henry coming with him.

“What’s up?” Remus asks, Peter looks at him confused.

“How you spake?!” Remus chuckles.

“You’re all lightweights.”

“How did alcohol even get in here?  Because whoever got it I really need to have a conversation with and find out how.  It’s my last year, I wanna enjoy it.”

“What is it you want to know?” Remus asks Marlene who blinks blankly before giggling.

“I dunno.”

“Silencing charms! Who madem?” Remus rolls his eyes at James as Lily walks over with another drink for him.

“Merlin.”

“Dats why!” James yells in Sirius’ face, Sirius cringes at him.  Then James stumbles a bit, looking green before rushing up to the bathroom, Lily rolls his eyes.

“I got him,” She says, following after him.

“Oh yeah, you got him, you got him goooooood!” Mary yells after her, Lily ignores her.

“Moony!”

“Yes Sirius?”

“Is mah birfday.”

“Astute observation my friend.”

“Gesmashed wi’me, please!” He asks, a pout forming on his face, Remus rolls his eyes but gulps down his drink, “Yus!”

“You are all goin’a regret this in the mornin,” Henry tells them with a laugh, Remus chuckles.

“Good thing it’s Friday night then, eh Hank?” He walks over to the spiked punch bowl, Sirius trailing after him, and does his level best to get pissed.

 

“Wher’d yer habit c’m from anywho?” Sirius asks him as they sit in front of the fire, an hour later, Sirius laying with his head in Remus’ lap.  Lily, Marlene, Mary, Alice, and Frank are with them, Peter having gone to bed when James did.

“Habit?”

“Da drink.” Remus bites his lip as he looks at Sirius, he sighs.

“Medup wiv friends o’ mine over summer.” He giggles for a moment before he suddenly looks very sad, “Was Derek, I think, that suggested it.  Sor’of spiralled from there.” He makes a spiral gesture with his hand until his finger hits the floor, “Boom,” He mutters, staring at his finger on the floor.

“You should talk t’her, write ta yer twin, make amends!” Frank declares patriotically, Remus shakes his head.

“Derek thinks I should give’r the term to cool off n sort shit face ta face. It makes sense.”

“My Mum always says, ‘Never let the sun go down on an argument’,” Lily tells him, being the only sober person there, Remus laughs.

“M’guessin Laura wasn’t communicaten via Owls.”

“True, but parents tend to give good advice, even when it has to be altered slightly to fit a situation.”

“To be honest, I don’t wanna talk to her yet.  I don wanna say m’sorry for sumfin I ain’t s’ry for, n she in’t gonna accept her part in fings.  Too bloody stubborn.”

“Yer still cute wh’n you do dat.”  Remus looks down at Sirius who smiles dopily and points at Remus’ lip where he’s subconsciously started gnawing at it, he blushes as he pulls his lip out from between his teeth.

“Right, bed time for everyone, come on,” Lily declares, she spends the next half an hour getting everyone to bed before she finally goes to bed herself with a quiet ‘Happy Birthday Sirius’ as she leaves the boys’ dorm for the last time.

“Thnks Evans.” She hears in return.

 

In a rare stroke of genius, Peter had put a hangover cure potion in the spiked punch, and while Remus had been dubious about that actually working, it did seem to have had the desired effect.  Everyone was still hungover, but it was better than it would have been.  Poor Sirius and Remus had drunk more than anyone, and as such, felt like proper shit the next morning.

“You know, I can understand Black doing this, but really Remy you should know better than to drink _that_ much,” Mary tells him the next morning as he walks into the Great Hall with the other Marauders.

“I was doing perfectly fine, moderation, being responsible, until _he_ pulled the birthday card,” Remus retorts, glaring at Sirius who grins smugly.

“No regrets.”  Then they hear McGonagall tinking her glass to grab everyone’s attention for Dumbledore to address them, Sirius winces at the noise, “Some regrets,” He amends, Peter snorts in laughter.

“It has come to our attention that there has been a theft.  A book has been taken from the restricted section of the library.  A reminder to all students that without express permission from a member of staff, that section is strictly off limits due to the dangerous nature of its contents.  Now should the beforementioned book find it’s way back to it’s proper place by tomorrow morning, no further action will be taken.  I do hope you make the right decision,” Dumbledore tells them, Mary, Marlene, Lily, and Alice all look to the Marauders, Remus shrugs in confusion.

“Wasn’t us…” he trails off as he sees the others eating rather pointedly and raises an eyebrow, “…all right, wasn’t _me_.”

“Can we talk about this later?” James asks, he scoffs.

“Sure, so long as talk about it later means we’ll talk about it later, not the half assed ‘we’ll talk about this later’ bullshit.”

“I’m curious, did that make sense in your head?” Sirius asks, Remus nods.

“Made sense to me,” Marlene adds, Lily and Mary agree.

“It’s a common guy thing, somehow I’m not surprised you haven’t picked up on it.”

“Remus is a guy,” Peter points out, Lily shakes her head.

“Remy has a sister,” She explains, “He’s probably dealt with the complaining about guys.”  James looks at her like she’s an idiot.

“Phia’s a lesbian!”

“Yeah but she’s still female!  Trust me, that’s enough!”

“Okay but, Sirius is gay…sort of, so by your logic, shouldn’t he understand too?”

“He’s never actually dated a guy, or anyone.”

“We should set you up with someone,” Remus decides, the girls all nod excitedly.

“This conversation really fell apart, and I am far too hungover to deal with it.”

“As I recall, this time last year you had an interest in a girl…”

“Yes, what happened with that?” James asks him with a grin, Sirius sighs.

“Oh for gods sake, none of us are being subtle, we all know we are talking about Marlene, why are we even bothering pretending we don’t all know?”  Remus wordlessly puts bacon on his plate which he promptly eats and then seems happier.

“Okay then, are you still interested in me?” Marlene asks him bluntly, Sirius suddenly looks as though he regrets calling everyone out on their bullshit, then he calms down, eyes flickering only briefly to Remus before he locks eyes with Marlene.

“Yeah, I am.  I mean, nothing’s changed since then, it’s just been a busy year and stuff kept coming up really.”

“Then, maybe you should ask me out?  I mean, we can go to Hogsmeade now, have lunch and a butterbeer or something.”  Sirius smiles charmingly at her.

“Marlene, would you like to go on a date with me to Hogsmeade next weekend?”  Marlene pretends to think intently about this for a moment before smiling and nodding.

“I would love to.” He grins at her in amusement before looking at James mockingly.

“Don’t start with me Black, I have an open line of communication with your brother and I don’t doubt he has some stories you’d rather we not hear.”

“Nah, I pride myself on being the embarrassment of my family.”  Still though, he doesn’t continue his previous thought.  Remus smiles at him proudly,

“Well look at that, Sirius Black has a girlfriend.”  Sirius smiles back at him awkwardly before he looks to his food and takes a deep breath, looking up and giving an actual smile.

“Let’s get through the first date, yeah?”  They all laugh at him.


	21. Break

Chapter 21

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ **

****

The end of first term 1974 is an uncomfortable time.  It’s been three months since the Black/Lupin split, and a month since the McKinnon/Black began.  Remus has thrown himself into his work, frustrated because his friends keep disappearing and are quite clearly hiding something from him, his transformations are worse than they ever have been, and tensions between Lily and James are skyrocketing once again.  The library has become a second home to Remus, feeling far more comforting and relaxed than his own dormitory.

Even so he is not looking forward to returning home, yet despite that he turned down the offer to stay at James’ place.  There is at least one person back home he really wanted to see.  The train ride is surprisingly not awkward, but Remus is still glad when it’s over.  They all agree to go to the Potter’s on Christmas day, along with their parents.

 

“Remus where do you think you’re going?  You just got home.”  Remus continues walking to his front door.

“Well then it’ll be easier to deal with me leaving for a few hours.  I’ll be back by ten.”

“REMUS!” He ignores his Mother and leaves.

 

“Sparky!  There’s me favourite posh swot.” Remus rolls his eyes at his friend, Derek can never just say hello like a normal person, _not that I_ _’_ _m any bloody expert on normal myself_.

“Oi, mate, anyfins be’er than looking like your ugly mug.” There’s a moment of silence before both blokes laugh and clap each other on the back.

“Right Mate, your just in time.  We got a gig comin up, you in?” Remus thinks about it, he remembers rule number four, don’t do anything stupid or rash out of anger or depression.  He doesn’t feel angry, and yeah maybe he’s still upset, but he’d hardly call it depressed.  So clearly, his friends have no leg to stand on in judging him.

“Yeah ‘right, let’s have it,” He replies, Derek goes and gets in a truck with the usual crew (Stan, Ed, Clive, and Reginald), Remus hesitates a moment more.

 “What ya waitin for Bruv, an invitation?”  Remus rolls his eyes, getting in the car beside him, shoving him over another seat.

“Well come on, budge up Mate.  Right then you proper tosser, time to go innit?”

 

An hour later finds the crew drunk and throwing random things they’ve set on fire into a nearby river, Remus and Derek making out on the hood of the truck.

“Oi, can ya cock knockers keep it down over there, we’re tryina have a different kinda fun over ‘ere!” Clive yells at them as he ditches a flaming bottle into the water, the others laugh.  Derek glares over his shoulder as he yells back,

“Shut the fuck up Clive.”

“A’right a’right, ya fruitcake.”

“Least he’s actual getting some, eh Clivey?” Remus calls out, Stan, Ed, Reginald, and Derek all find this far more amusing than Clive does, but Remus is fairly certain he’s re-proven the point that his ‘poncey boarding school’ doesn’t make him some soft posh boy.

“Right then ‘Arry hoofter, back to your knob jockey.” Remus and Derek share an amused look as they hear the others teasing Clive, they start making out again.

“Yo, Rem.”

“Yeah Mate?” Remus asks, looking up at Ed when he gets close some indeterminate amount of time later.

“We need a proper light show, you up for it?” Remus grins madly at him, grabbing the fuel he holds out.

“In my job description innit?” The six of ‘em stand back, Remus throwing the fuel over the truck before he chucks a light at it and watches it go up in flames.

“Anyone think about how we’re all supposed to get home now?” Remus asks a few minutes later, the others exchange looks, “Didn’t think so.”

 

It’s one am before Remus gets back, his Mother takes one look at him to ensure he’s alive before she goes to bed without a word.  Lyall didn’t wait up.

“They’re worried about you.” Remus walks over to the bottom of the stairs, finding Phia sitting five steps up.

“Dunno why, m’fine.” Phia rolls her eyes.

“You’re an idiot.” He scoffs.

“You’d know.”

“You’re the one avoiding me.”

“Disagree.”

“Rem…”

“Don’t even fucking start with me Sophia.  You really wanna talk we can do it in the morning, I’m not in the bloody mood right now.” He tries to stomp past her but she stands and grabs his arm to stop him.

“Well too bad, you aren’t my brother when it suits you!”

“Oh you’re havin a laugh, coz anyfin else and you’re a blind self-absorbed idiot.  Like you haven’t only ever been my sister when it suits you.  I got a lot of shit going on right now Phia, and I ain’t taking back what I’ve said coz not a word was anyfin but true.  So decide, are you gunna get over it and be my fucking sister, or are you gonna keep being a selfish bitch?”  She glares at him for a moment before she releases his arm.

“Maybe we should talk about this when you’re sober.”  Remus chuckles.

“A rare treat that is.”  He goes to his room without looking back.

 

By the time Christmas Day has rolled around, nothing has gotten better.  In fact, one could truthfully say, things are much, much, worse.

“Moony!” The Marauders call simultaneously as he steps out of the floo, they stop short when they see him.

“What the hell happened to you?” Sirius asks looking concerned, Remus just glares until he holds his hands up, placatingly.

“Nofin.”

“Yeah, Nothing he says.  Because one often just wakes up to find a black eye, split lip, and subconjunctival haemorrhaging,” Phia drawls as she hears the conversation, he doesn’t even acknowledge she’s spoken.

“Euphemia, Fleamont, how wonderful to see you both again,” Hope greets, ignoring both her children’s words, Lyall gives them a warning look to which they both roll their eyes.

“It’s wonderful to see you as well.  Regulus, Andromeda, Ted, and the Pettigrews are here already, please, come through,” Euphemia replies cheerfully.

Half an hour later finds the group, parents, and siblings, seated across two tables set up in the living room, mostly chatting happily.  The group was certainly happy to catch up with Reg and Severus again, seeing as they don’t see much of each other in school anymore.

“You two are together?” Severus asks in confusion, gesturing between Marlene and Sirius, both of whom nod, raising their clasped hands, “Are you mental?” He jokingly asks Marlene, they all laugh.

“So that’s Ted, huh?” James asks Sirius who nods, the group very unsubtly looks him over, drawing conclusions until Andromeda clears her throat, glaring at them all, they all smile innocently at her.

“Well, Drom has told me a lot about all of you, it’s nice to finally put faces to the stories,” Ted tells them, they all look him over warily before Petunia rolls her eyes.

“Hi, Petunia Evans, that’s my sister Lily, then there’s James Potter, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, Marlene McKinnon, Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, Mary MacDonald, Peter Pettigrew, and Phia Lupin, Remy’s sister.  I assume you’ve met Sirius and Regulus anyway.” Ted nods.

“Very briefly, it’s nice to see you both again.”

“Mhm,” Sirius acknowledges as he and Regulus continue looking at Ted warily.

“Remus, will you please do something?” Andromeda requests, Remus sighs.

“I have some news,” He declares, the group pays attention to him marginally, but are mostly still watching Ted, especially the Blacks, “I’m seeing someone.”  That gets everyone’s attention.

“Holy crap!” James exclaims.

“James Fleamont Potter, _what_ did you just say?!” Euphemia demands from down the table, James gulps as Sirius tries not to laugh at him.

“Holy cow?” Euphemia still doesn’t look happy, James sighs, “Sorry Mum.”

“What were you saying Dear?” Euphemia asks Remus who notices he now has the attention of the entire two tables, he clears his throat slightly.

“I’m seeing someone.”

“Wow, I uh, I really thought we were gonna have to spend months badgering you until you actually started dating someone new,” Lily admits, Remus chuckles.

“Honestly so did I, and I wouldn’t really call it dating yet.”

“Sooooo, who is she?” Marlene asks from beside him, he sighs.

“Oh you have got to be joking!” Phia suddenly exclaims as she stands up, Remus buries his face in his hands for a moment before he looks back up at her.

“Can you not make a scene please?”

“Can you not make the stupidest decision of your _life_ please?”

“This is not even on the top twenty list of stupid decisions!”

“Will someone please tell me what is going on?!” Sirius interjects, the twins take a deep breath, Phia goes straight to the floo and goes home.

“Derek.  I’m seeing Derek.”  The whole room goes quiet.

“As in…romantically…?” Peter asks hesitantly, Remus nods, Severus hits him upside the head.

“This is so unbelievably wrong Remus, what the hell is wrong with you?!” Remus rolls his eyes, the muggles outside of the group worry this is going in a very different direction, but those worries are assuaged by his next words, “Derek is a douchenozzle!”

“A douchenozzle?”

“Yes!”

“Well I like him, douchenozzle or no.”  Severus sighs, sitting back in his chair.

“Fine.  But when he hurts you, I will hurt him.” Remus smiles slightly.

“I know what I’m doing.”  After a few moments awkward silence, Ted clears his throat.

“So where did you and he meet?” Sirius looks Ted over again, only this time he nods once before looking back to Remus, Andromeda smiles.

“Erm…a police station, actually.”

“Remus…” Monty begins, Remus shakes his head.

“It’s not what it sounds like.  We were eight, he had gotten lost and picked up by an officer.  He was waiting for his parents to come and he looked afraid so I struck up a conversation.”

“What were _you_ doing in the station?” Petunia asks him suspiciously, he scratches his forehead quickly.

“That was the first time I burnt down the school gym.”

“First time?!” Laura asks, concern plain on her face, he chuckles awkwardly.

“It was an accident, I swear.  Anyway, Mum, Dad, and I waited with him until his parents arrived and we’ve been friends ever since, except a brief period when we were eleven but that’s another story.”

“I’m glad you’re happy Remy, you deserve it,” Andromeda tells him.  Somehow, that coming from her was the closure he apparently needed, he felt lighter than he has in months.

“Thank you.”

 

 

“Anyone seen Remus?” James asks, looking around the train platform and failing to spot their friend, they hear a few crashes and some choice words, suddenly an owl is flying free overhead.

“Found him?” Lily offers, a few minutes later every is righted, and Remus Lupin comes out of the crowd and over to them, “Everything all right?”

“Yeah, sick.”

“Um, you aren’t feeling well?” James asks, Lily, Mary, Petunia, and Severus all laugh at him, he huffs, “Muggle thing then?”

“It means amazing, best thing ever sort of thing,” Lily explains, “And not all muggles speak like _that_.  No offence Remy.”

“None taken, spendin too much time round them sorts I spose.” Lily glares at him.

“You’re doing it on purpose now.”

“Proper annoying innit?” Mary and Marlene laugh, Petunia looks rather disgusted, but Remus thinks she’s been looking at him like that since he arrived.

“Where are your parents?” Monty asks suddenly, Remus shrugs.

“Chipped off didn’t they.”

“I swear to every god anyone has even remotely questioned the existence of, I will kill you if you keep this up, very slowly, and very painfully.”

“C’mon Mates, let’s get on the train and bomb it.”

“That’s it!” Remus runs onto the train as Lily chases after him.

“Welp, bye Mum, Dad, various other parents and siblings and such, we should go make sure they don’t kill each other.”

When they find the two in the usual cabin, it isn’t to the tableau they expected.  Instead, Remus is sitting in a chair panting slightly and holding his shirt up while Lily prods at his blue/purple/yellow ribcage.

“What in the ever living fuck?!” Sirius asks as they all enter, being sure to leave room around the two.

“Idiot practically collapsed after running because he’s apparently bruised his ribs.  None of them feel broken but that doesn’t mean they aren’t cracked or something.  You need to go see Madam Pomfrey,” Lily tells him sternly, he scoffs.

“I’m fine Lils.”

“No, you aren’t.” They stare each other down for a moment before Remus backs down.

“Fine.” Lily nods, satisfied.  She pulls his shirt down and takes her seat, noticing they are down to only one person having to sit on another’s lap, and it’s Marlene on Sirius’.

“What happened to you?” James asks looking horrified, Remus shifts uncomfortably, wincing at the flare of pain the movement causes.

“Nothing, just had a little disagreement with someone.”

“That is not a little disagreement!”

“It is with these blokes, relax okay?  I can take care of myself.”  Everyone goes quiet, wondering how to get more out of him when Pete speaks up.

“These blokes.  As in Derek and his friends?” Everyone looks to Remus who looks at his hands in his lap.

“Moony, did Derek do this to you?”

“No!  Okay, no, it doesn’t matter, all right? Just fucking leave it.”  Everyone wisely backs off.

Half an hour later Lily turns back to Remus.

“So, I am assuming you’ve brought some kind of alcohol with you or have plans to …acquire some?” Remus sighs, leaning his head against the window.

“It’s in my trunk, I’ll hand it over when we get back after dinner.”  Lily rests a hand on his knee, squeezing lightly as she rests her head on his shoulder, he sinks slightly into the comfort she offers.

 

A month later, Remus climbs back up into Gryffindor Tower two days after a particularly rotten full moon.  He’s seriously looking forward to just collapsing into his own bed and preferably not moving for the next fifty years, only when he finally reaches the dormitory, he finds the other three Marauders sitting on his bed.

“Whatever it is, it’s going to have to wait until tomorrow.”  The others shake their heads.

“Nope, come on, trust us.  We need to show you something, now,” James tells him, he mopes and whinges, but they don’t give in.

“We’ll let you get smashed on Friday if you come with us?” Remus considers this, looks from his now standing friends to his bed and back again.

“Fine, but Lily’s going to kill you when she finds out you bargained with me using that.”

“I consider it a worthy sacrifice,” James declares, the other two nod.  He sighs and gestures for them to lead the way. 

They make it down two flights of stairs before Remus starts complaining again, by the time they reach the doors to the castle, he’s focusing on moving and breathing too much to bother.  When they start going down the hill, he questions whether or not it is even close to worth it for one night of peace. _Yes, worth it_.

“Okay here.” James stops walking, the other two looking around before they turn to him, he raises an eyebrow expectantly, all of a sudden his friends are shrinking and growing and changing shape, and then they aren’t there anymore.  In their place is a stag, a large black dog, and a rat.

“Um…” Remus blinks a couple times, trying to work out if he’s hallucinating due to his exhaustion, the stag changes back into James, Remus’ eyes widen as he finally catches on, “You’re animagi,” He says, more of a breath than actual voice.

“Yeah…Moony’s a bit too rambunctious for people, so we thought, what if we weren’t people?  Werewolves don’t attack animals.”

“He says we, it was him, and he’s been looking into this since first year,” Peter tells him, Remus didn’t even notice him returning to human form, Remus feels tears prick his eyes as he rushes forwards and hugs James, James chuckles, hugging him back.  Remus feels a nudge at his leg and looks down to see Sirius, or rather, the dog he’s turned into.

“Hi there,” He whispers in awe as he kneels down, the dog licks his face, “Eww, Sirius, come on Man, you know I hate dogs doing that!” The dog spins in an excited circle, lets out a bark, and then sits back in front of him, tongue hanging out of his mouth as he pants.  Remus gently puts a hand on his head, gently stroking down, “You make a cute dog.”  James and Peter snicker behind him, Sirius looks around Remus and growls at them.

“C’mon Mutt, we should get back inside before Moony passes out.”  The dog morphs back into Sirius, Remus blinks back tears as he hugs him too, Sirius holds him back tightly.  When he helps Remus up, Remus hugs Peter too who returns it happily.  He leans heavily on James and Sirius as the four go back to the common room, he passes out as soon as he hits the bed.  In fact, he thinks he may have fallen a sleep while walking and the others just carried him the rest of the way.

 

The next morning they go to DADA, Remus is more than a little surprised to see a completely different teacher than the one they’d had last week.

“Good morning everyone, I am Professor Eleenie Randona, I’m your new defence teacher,” The young woman before them greets, Severus raises a hand, “A question, I do love those.  You are?”

“Severus Snape, Professor.”

“Well, all questions are welcome in my classroom, go right ahead.”

“What happened to Professor Timmal?” Professor Randona sighs.

“His Mother had an unfortunate accident and he’s had to return home to look after her I’m afraid.  He’s told me all about the class though, so I know a bit about all of you.  Some more than others.  In any case, please, call me Eleenie, Professor Randona was my father,” She tells them, the class all exchange looks, this was definitely not the average Hogwarts teacher, “Now, this term you’re to be learning about Dark Creatures, though I tend to dislike that term.  It’s so…negative and assuming.  So how about we just call them Magical Creatures and go from there, yes?”  Everyone just awkwardly sort of nods, “Brilliant, now, everyone has a sheet of paper in front of them.  If you would all write your favourite magical creature on it, along with your name, and hand it in to the box that’s floating around, we’ll see what we’re dealing with here.”

Remus stares at his page for a moment, biting his lip as he thinks.  Do Animagi count as a magical creature?  Really being an Animagus is a skill more than a species, which would make the creature…he grins, writing his answer and handing it up.

“All right, let’s have a look.  Now this box will automatically group together answer duplicates, I generally like to start by looking at the biggest pile, then the smallest, and then the ones in the middle.  So, the magical creature most liked within this classroom is…” She reaches into the box and pulls out a small bit of paper, she blinks at it for a moment, surprised, then a grin spreads across her face, “Well, I’ve never had that one before.  Werewolves.”

The class all look around, none really surprised by the answer given the dramas they’ve had in History of Magic focusing around Lycanthropy.

“The smallest pile here has only one entry, let’s have a look.” Eleenie looks oddly proud but also exasperated at the piece of paper in her hand, she turns back to the class, “Remus Lupin?” Remus raises a hand slightly and looks at her innocently, the others are surprised, everyone assumed he’d put Werewolf.  His friends hadn’t, but they have no clue at all as to what he wrote, “I like you.”

“Thank you Pro…um, Eleenie.”

“Of course, the reason I had you all do this is because the work we’ll be doing for the next month is going to be set for each person around the creature they’ve written, so I do hope the work I receive is as interesting as your answer here was.”

“Oh I can almost guarantee my work will not bore you.” She grins at him, they go through the other answers before she begins talking about the work they will be doing.

“Now, over the next month, you will be given various tasks to complete that at times, may seem random.  By the end though, you’ll be set a paper about the creature you have chosen, and you’ll find you have plenty more to say than you would have had now.  Most of this work will be done outside of class, so during lessons we’ll have a look at these creatures more generally speaking and talk about why they are considered ‘dark’, that sort of thing.  However, I will make it very clear right now, I’ll have no bigotry within my classroom or within my earshot at all.  I consider such things to be of the greatest offence, so I hear a word against another being, living or otherwise, dark or not, pureblood or not, anything or not, and I will respond to it with the most severe yet creative punishment I can think of.  Are there any questions about anything I’ve said?”  Lily raises her hand, Sirius high fives it, the class rolls their eyes.

“Why does it bother you so much?” Eleenie looks at her in consideration.

“Does it not bother you?”

“Well, of course it does, it’s cruel.  It’s just that most adults don’t really try to stop it all that much.  It’s just the way things are,” Lily replies, the teacher smiles at her sadly.

“Those are the words of people who have lost hope that there is good in the world, and that it can overcome the cruelty.  You see, people can talk about it being the way it is, but it only is that way because people allow it to be.  My husband says to make change you have to win people over, and maybe on a grander scale that’s true.  But as far as I am concerned, these things stop when you stop allowing them to continue.” Lily smiles at the teacher, tears in her eyes as she nods, “Now then, your first task…”  Remus should probably pay more attention to what his teacher is saying, but instead he’s just paying attention to _her_.  Something about her is important, it’s niggling the back of his mind and he can’t quite put his finger on it.  Is it her eyes?  The round, amber, orbs that seem more green the longer you look at them.  Her mouth? Covered in a deep purple lipstick, lines around showing how jovial and happy the person before him is.  Maybe it’s the faint scars going from right cheek down to her collar bone, or perhaps it’s the way the light shines on her chocolate brown hair, pulled into two French braids and long enough to lay in her lap where she sits cross-legged on top of her desk.  But no, it isn’t any of that, it’s the smell.  She smells like home and family and freedom and everything he’s never smelt before, it doesn’t make sense, what does it mean?  Who is she?

 

Remus feels as though he’s in a daze for the next lesson, not taking anything in or even recognising which lesson he had.  Only once they head outside during break and he sees Eleenie walking towards them does his brain truly switch back on.

“Remus, would you mind coming with me for a moment?” Remus nods immediately.

“Of course, I’ll uh, meet you guys at the tree?” The others nod, vaguely amused at his behaviour as the two walk away.

Remus and Eleenie walk in silence for a while, it’s not until they stand on the bridge, looking out at the view, that she turns to him again.

“I saw the look on your face during my lesson and realised two things.  One, it was your first time smelling another, and two, you had absolutely no idea what was happening.”  Remus looks at his teacher in confusion and wariness as he debates how to answer.

“What do you mean, smelling another?”  Eleenie smiles warmly at him as she shrugs her shoulder out of her shirt and reveals a large scar of a bite mark…her _bite_ mark, “You’re a Werewolf,” He breathes in a mix of surprise and happiness, she grins and nods, “but you’re, you’re…”

“Happy?  Successful?  Alive?” He nods, “Yeah, I am.” Smiling, she lays a hand on his shoulder and looks him in the eyes, “You can be too.”

For the first time in his life, he actually believes it too.

“M-my friends, th-they know about me.  They’ll figure you out too,” He warns, she shrugs.

“I don’t mind, I sort of assumed someone would work it out eventually anyway.  I don’t exactly advertise my species but I don’t try to hide it either. It’s easier for me though, marginally anyway, because my husband is an expert on Lycanthropy, so generally people are more accepting of me, thinking he’s taming me somehow.  Which, honestly, is a disgusting thought, and ridiculous, but that’s not the point.” Remus chuckles a bit at her ranting, she laughs too.

“Do…” Remus takes a deep breath before he continues, “Do you _like_ being a Lycanthrope?” Eleenie looks at him seriously for a moment.

“I have always been a big believer in accepting who I am instead of running from it.  It wasn’t until I was sixteen that I was bitten, so I was all ready very much throwing myself out in people’s faces and giving them no choice but to accept who I am or suffer the consequences.  I drew in on myself for a while, but then I met my husband and realised that nothing had really changed.  I’m not entirely human anymore, but I’m still me.  If I can be confident about everything else, why not this too?  So I don’t like nor dislike it, but I’ve accepted it as a part of who I am, and I’m constantly learning to love myself more and more.  Which, I’m getting to the point of that not necessarily being a good thing but, well that’s hardly relevant.”  The two laugh again as they begin walking back towards his friends.

“So…we could wait around bored as my friends slowly start to work everything out, or…” Remus begins saying, unsure exactly where his sudden fondness for this teacher has come from, or fondness for himself.  He supposes it always helps to know you aren’t alone, and while he’d always known there were others out there, seeing it is very different.

“Or…?”  He snaps back to reality as he looks mischievously at her.

“Or we can place bets on how long it takes them?” She laughs and nods.

“Your on, okay, I’m thinking that that Severus fellow will work it out first, and…it’ll be right after the next moon.” Remus nods, considering.

“That’s a pretty good guess actually, but I’m thinking it’ll be Sirius, and that he works it out before then.” Eleenie raises an eyebrow.

“How could he work it out before then?”  Remus shrugs.

“He’s got a nose for this stuff.”  He nearly loses it at his own pun, but manages to keep it together.

“Your friends all know about you then?” He chuckles and nods, “I suppose that explains a lot of the answers in class then, though I must say, it’s your answer that gave that away the most.”

“Oh?” She smiles at him.

“Not many people argue the fact that we are all magical creatures simply so that they can write that their friends are their favourite.”  Remus shrugs.

“Not many people appreciate their friends like I do.” She nods.

“Too true.”

 

That night someone climbs into Remus’ bunk with him, he opens his eyes and sees Peter looking at him questioningly.

“Erm…Pete?”

“She’s a Werewolf, isn’t she?” His eyes widen in surprise.

“How…”

“I saw the claw marks on the side of her neck, they look like the ones you have.” Remus huffs out a quiet laugh as he nods.

“You know, I think we have all seriously underestimated you, my friend.” The most devilish smile Remus has ever seen comes over Peter’s face as he responds,

“Most people do.”  The two laugh about it quietly.

“Who do you think is gonna work it out next?” Peter shrugs.

“Severus or Evans probably.”

“I’m still thinking Sirius will.” Peter snorts.

“Nah, he’s too preoccupied.”

“With what?” Remus asks with a frown, Peter gulps, Remus sighs, “Don’t worry about it Wormtail.”

“Wormtail?”

“Rats have worm-like tails, I don’t know it’s been stuck in my head since you all transformed.” Peter chuckles.

“I like it.”

 

 

The next DADA lesson is in the middle of the day on Wednesday.  It also happens to be right after History of Magic.

“…just keep your mouth shut we might actually manage to win the house cup!  Or at least not be in the negatives.”

“We were not in the negatives, Alice.”

“Everything okay…?” Eleenie asks the class as they all take their seats, Severus smirks.

“Oh, better than all right, Remy just secured Slytherin’s win of the house cup.”

“That is such an exaggeration, we weren’t even in the running.”

“Wonder why _that_ is,” Marlene drawls, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Have you met your boyfriend?”

“Oh please, the Marauders haven’t pranked anyone in ages,” Lily tells him, James looks at her in complete offence, Sirius frowns.

“Damn she’s right.”

“Marauders’ Lair after class Lads, we have a returning to plan,” James declares, Severus frowns at Lily.

“What have you done.” She sighs, shaking her head.

“Peter, got any ideas?  You’re pretty good at putting things together with surprising speed,” Remus says, looking at Eleenie briefly before turning back to Peter who looks between them looking smug, Eleenie catches on, her eyebrows raised.

“Perhaps you should wait for you lair to discuss this, now I’m afraid I don’t know all your names yet, Peter…?”

“Pettigrew.”

“A pleasure to meet you young Sir.” Remus snickers as everyone in the class just seems confused by the interaction, “While on the subject of names, who exactly are the Marauders?”  James grins, standing up and leaning over his desk, holding out a hand.

“James Potter, Ma’am, pleased to meet you.”

“I assume you’re…lead Marauder?” Sirius scoffs, Peter frowns, Remus looks thoughtful.

“I think you’ve broken them Eleenie.  To answer your question, the Marauders are a group of upstart young wizards who have taken it upon themselves to make everyone’s lives much more difficult than they needed to be in childish and immature ways _they_ find funny,” Lily explains, it feeling odd to call her Professor such, Eleenie looks intrigued as James looks at her, aghast.

“That _we_ find funny?  How is Dumbledore being a pink goat _not_ funny to you?” Eleenie laughs in surprise, “Oh, Professor, what’s your favourite colour?”  Eleenie smirks.

“Silvery grey, like the moon.” Remus and Peter struggle to not laugh.

“Those four buffoons are the Marauders,” Severus tells her when they don’t continue themselves, “Pete Pettigrew, James Potter, Remy Lupin, and Sirius Black.”

“Oh, _this_ is Sirius, you are not what I expected.” Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“And what is it you were expecting?”  The class tenses slightly, James gearing up to defend his friend if necessary, but Eleenie smirks.

“Well I had been told that you were good looking, for one.”

“Oooooooooh,” The class says as they all laugh, Sirius laughing most of all.

“I think I like you, can’t be said for many Professors.”

“Oh but I hear you and Minerva have a special connection.”

“Talk about me, does she?”

“Not in particular, but your group comes up in the teachers’ lounge frequently.” They exchange looks, Sirius shrugs.

“At least they think of us.”

“Let’s get on with the lesson.”

“Oh I’m an idiot!” Mary suddenly exclaims as she smacks herself in the forehead, the class turns to her in shock.

“Erm, are you all right…” Eleenie asks her in concern, Mary grins as she looks at her teacher.

“Mary, Mary MacDonald.” She turns to Peter and points at him, “You may have gotten it first, but let’s not forget how quick on the uptake you usually are.” Peter just smirks at her as Remus laughs, Eleenie looking amused.  Mary smiles and nods at her, earning a pleased smile in return before she actually begins the lesson.

 

“I feel like an idiot,” Mary complains at lunch, Peter puts a hand between her shoulder blades, rubbing soothingly.

“You aren’t an idiot, not everyone can have my genius.”  They all look at him like he’s an idiot, he sighs, “Oh come on, I never figure anything out first, let me have this!”  Mary and Remus laugh while the others grow frustrated.

“WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” James suddenly screams at the top of his voice, the hall goes silent as everyone looks at him, he blushes, “Sorry, carry on.”  The hall goes back to eating, everyone looking exasperated or annoyed.

“Relax Potter, you’ll work it out.”  He glares at Mary.

 

 

“Who bit you?” Eleenie looks up from marking papers to see Remus standing in her office doorway nervously, she frowns.

“Fenrir Greyback.”

“You’re a tad old to be one of Greyback’s.”

“He was going for my little brother, I tackled tried to tackle Benarin out of the way, Mr Greyback got me instead.  Then he bit Benny anyway.”  Remus nods thoughtfully as he leans on the doorway.

“I have a sister, a twin.  I’ve often wondered why he left her alone, my family think it’s because my Dad came in.”

“But not you?”  He shakes his head.

“He was there a while before he actually bit me, setting things up and such.  If he wanted to, she’d be dead or bitten.  He left her and he left…he left my brother alone and there is a reason for it.”  Eleenie leans back in her chair, intrigued.

“What?”

“I don’t know.  But one of Dad’s children is a Werewolf, another is dead, and the third hates wizards and resents Dad for being the one to pass magic on to her, all because of how this world deals with our people.  The worst possible outcome for Dad as a person came to be, that can’t be a coincidence.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point, is that of the three options there to him, how is it that the one named Werewolf McWerewolf gets turned into a Werewolf?” Eleenie laughs a big and surprised laugh, he smiles and shakes his head as he laughs too, “I laugh but this really bugs me, did he know?  Was it on purpose?  What are the odds that the man’s enemy had a child with my name?”  She wipes tears from her eyes as the tension in the room disappears.

“I suppose the universe has decided to make you one big cosmic joke.”  He grins as he finally walks into the room, sitting across from her.

“Well, Dad’s name means wolf, and Mum’s last name is Howell, and there was a blood moon three days after I was born, which at first you’re like eh it’s close but it’s not right.  _Except_ that’s the day Phia, Mum, and I came home from the hospital.  So the first time I was ever out and under the moon, it was a total lunar eclipse.” Eleenie laughs with him again.

“Well, I don’t have anything like that, but I was _obsessed_ with fairy tales when I was younger.  I read Little Red Riding Hood to my brother and it terrified the crap out of him because we lived beside a forest.  So I ended up having to sleep in his bed with him that night, reassuring him that no big bad wolf was going to get passed me.” Remus smiles sadly at her.

“My twin, Phia, used to read Dad’s work books, he works with the ministry, I’m not entirely sure doing what, he gets quiet about it whenever I’m around.  I scared easy, so they had a rule she could look through them so long as she didn’t tell me about it because I’d have nightmares.  She did, of course, frequently.  This particular night she’d told me about Werewolves, I told my Dad there was something under my bed.  Dad told Phia off for telling me stuff again, and told me there was nothing there.”

“I suppose there are somethings we all regret saying.  My promise, your Dad’s reassurance, and then there are things we’ll regret hearing.  I imagine your Dad’s words to you are yours.”  Remus shakes his head.

“No, I regret that he didn’t know, and that Phia told me anything to begin with.”

“When bad stuff happens, sometimes we can’t help but blame others for it even if we know it’s illogical.  Your sister’s hatred of the wizarding world for instance.  Not everyone here will treat you badly, but she blames the world for existing because without it none of this would have happened, much like her resentment for your father passing on magic.  My brother, though he tries not to, will always blame me in some way for allowing it to happen despite my promising it wouldn’t, I was supposed to protect him and I failed.  Do you think that it might be possible, you feel this way towards your sister?  As though perhaps, had she not told you and had your Father believed you, he’d have checked and none of this would have happened?” Remus frowns.

“I…suppose.  I think I am angry at her for a lot of little things that shouldn’t make me so angry at her.  Perhaps that’s why.”

“Something to think about at least.”

“Do you blame something for what happened?” Eleenie looks sad.

“I blame myself, Benny’s right, I should have protected him.  I know logically that I couldn’t have but…”

“Logic doesn’t really factor in to the mind of a traumatised kid.” Eleenie smiles and nods.

“You know I used to love the idea of Werewolves.  I don’t really know why, but I thought it was _so_ cool.  I’d go out at night and howl at the moon.  It took me a while, but I got that back, only now when I howl at the moon it’s a little more wolf-like.  Tell me Remy, what did your Lycanthropy take from you?  And how are you going to get it back?”  Remus’ face brightens significantly after a few moments of thought.

“Excuse me Professor, but I have a plan to make,” He calls as he rushes out of the room.  She touches the locket around her neck, given to her by her brother on her 16th birthday, a week before the attack, she smiles.

“Good luck.”


	22. Reason #3 Why McGonagall Both Hates and Loves The Marauders

Chapter 22

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

_Phia,_

_Go with Dad.  Please._

_Loopy_

Phia Lupin looks up from the letter she had gotten from her Brother, he’d somehow managed to get it into James’ letter to her, correctly assuming she’d ignore any from him.  Phia confidently chooses to believe James doesn’t know he’s done it, and keeps that information tucked away to use again her Twin, should the need arise.  She hears a knock on her door and calls for them to come in without turning away from the window her desk is in front of.

“Phia, I’m going out, I’d like for you to come with me.”  Her Father sounds nervous, like he’s not quite sure if this will work or even if he wants it too.  She imagines her Brother sent a request of him to bring her some place with a promise that she’ll go without asking questions.  She wonders for a moment whether she should even help him keep his promise.  She looks back to the letter in her hand and sighs.

“All right, let’s go.”

 

 

“So, Hogsmeade weekend, big prank coming up, we should celebrate.  What’s the plan?” Sirius asks at breakfast on Saturday, rubbing his hands together in preparation, Remus smiles, could a more perfect opening have occurred?

“How about we bring some brooms and fly over Hogsmeade?”

“Are we even allowed to do that?  Not that I’m saying no because of that, I’m just curious,” James asks, Remus smiles and nods.

“We’re allowed.  I checked.”

“Why?” Peter asks suspiciously, Remus has to admit, they really did underestimate him at times like these.  He knows Remus is up to something, yet all the times they’d have blown him off for being an idiot…

“So that we know if we can do it you idiot!” Sirius says to Peter who sighs and goes back to his food, Remus kicks Peter under the table lightly, Peter looks up and sees his friend smile conspiratorially at him, he smiles back.  Ever since his discovery of their teacher’s Lycanthropy, Remus had really been making him feel like part of the group and he was grateful, more than tired of feeling alone despite being surrounded by his friends.  Then he sees Remus frown at Sirius.

“Um, Sirius…”

“Yeah Moony?”

“Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie?” Sirius looks down at his tie in shock, immediately attempting to remove it but unable to.  A glance at his robes shows they had been changed as well, Remus looks to James and sees he is in a similar state.

“Do I bother checking mine?” He wonders to Pete, whose uniform has also changed, Peter sighs.

“Doesn’t seem to be a point, does there.”

Sirius and James start looking around, trying to work out who had done this and just generally kicking up a fuss, Remus trying to stop Sirius from storming over to the Slytherin table.  Pete snickers, the other three Marauders turn to him.

“You think this is funny?!” Sirius demands, he grimaces, Remus looks at him questioningly when the other two return to making a scene.  Peter nods down the Gryffindor table where Remus sees Severus and Marlene sniggering together, he sighs and nods.

“This is revenge for the bubble incident, isn’t it?”  Peter nods, “Good catch Pete.” The boy beams.

 

When the group gets into Hogsmeade that day, it’s only five minutes before Lily tugs on Remus’ sleeve, he looks at her questioningly, she just points off to the side.  He looks that way and sees Phia looking highly uncomfortable, he hands his broom to Lily and jogs over, “Shh.” He tells Lily, she giggles and nods, leading the others away.

“H-Hi,” She stutters though admittedly looking extremely relieved to see him.

“I’m sorry.” Phia scoffs, disbelievingly, he shakes his head, “Not for the argument.” Now his sister just looks at him in confusion, he holds out a hand to her, she takes it, he leads her through Hogsmeade, “I’m sorry because a part of me stupidly blamed you for what happened, and then everything that came afterwards were just more negative emotions building up.  But more importantly, I am sorry that what happened to me affected us both so much.  The things in life that matter should always matter, even when everything else changes.”

“What are we doing here Rem?” Phia asks, losing patience with the conversation.  Much as she wants to hear what he has to say, she also would rather never talk about it, he smiles lovingly at her.

“You should not have lost the things you love because of some psychopath that attacked us, and you should not have lost the love you had for things.  I’m hoping I can show you what it is you’ve missed, so that you don’t have to miss it anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”  He gestures sweepingly around them.

“This is Hogsmeade, a small wizard village.  That,” He says pointing behind them, she turns to see a castle on a hill, “That’s Hogwarts.”  Despite everything, the way her eyes light up in awe tell him it’s not too late to return her passion.

“It’s beautiful,” She admits, he grins.

“Come on, I want to show you around.”  She hesitates for a moment, biting her lip, then she nods.

He shows her through Honeydukes, and Zonkos, and finally the Three Broomsticks.

 

“OH MERLIN, PHIA?!” James screams when they enter.  They’d agreed to meet Remus in there an hour after they split, he’d been careful to keep her presence secret throughout the hour.

“James!” She calls back happily, running at him, he picks her up and twirls her around.

“What are you doing here?” He asks as the two sit down at the table the others have, Remus goes over to the bar and orders them both butterbeers.

“Making up for lost time.”

“Okay, this, Phia, is a butterbeer.” Remus puts the drink in front of him as he sits down as well with his own drink, Phia narrows her eyes at the drink suspiciously before she takes a sip, her eyes widen.

“This is amazing!”

“I know right?” The twins laugh, “So, I was thinking…we’re going to go for a ride after this.  Fly over Hogsmeade, and the castle, maybe the forest?  Want to come along?” He asks, “You can ride on my broom…” He offers, she bites her lip, but the look on her face shows she really wants to.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

 

Half an hour later…

“Remus…”

“Yes Phia?”

“Aren’t you afraid of heights?”

“Yep.”

“Why are you going flying then?”  Remus grins at his sister.

“Because you love them.” Then he takes off, fast.

“AHHHH!” Phia screams before laughing, the rest of the group quickly catch up, grinning and laughing as well as they fly over the village.  James, Marlene, and Sirius start doing spins and racing each other, Remus sees Phia watching them longingly and takes a deep breath. 

“Holding on?”

“Yeah, of course,” Phia replies, hold automatically tightening as she looks at the back of his head in confusion, the suddenly they roll, “AHHH!” She screams again as Remus rights them, “OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE MOST TERRIFYING MOMENT OF MY LIFE CAN WE DO IT AGAIN?!” So they do.

“Where the hell did you learn to do that?!” Sirius shouts at him, pulling up along side his broom, Remus chuckles.

“I do pay attention in class you know, I just don’t enjoy putting into practice,” He replies, Sirius laughs.

“Hey, there’s the Quidditch pitch, oh, the seventh years are playing a game!” Sirius calls excitedly, pointing over to it, Remus grins at him before he makes a sharp turn with surprising skill and goes to the pitch, the rest of the group following after.  They stop a ways off, but close enough to watch now.

“I have missed watching this game,” Phia states a minute later as they all watch, Remus shakes his head with a sigh.

“Never seen the attraction.”

“Glad at least one of you has taste then,” James comments, Remus glares at him.

When the game finishes they all decide to go back.

“Race you?” James offers Remus before laughing at his own joke, Remus frowns, adrenaline coursing through him as he locks eyes with him, and smirks, “Oh let’s do it,” James says when he notices the look, then they’re both off.  Phia screams again before she just seems to enjoy the shit out of it.

No one is surprised when James beats Remus, but it wasn’t by much and had been done with surprising skill as James kept trying to block him and he weaved around.

James lands when they arrive, but Remus waits for the others.

“Everything okay?” Peter asks as he joins them, Remus sighs.

“I forgot how to get down.” Peter laughs at him, he laughs too, so does Phia.  A few minutes later, Peter had helped Remus down.

“That was the most amazing thing to ever happen to me!” Phia declares as she throws her arms around her brother’s neck, he smiles widely and chuckles, wrapping his arms around her.

“I’m glad.  You know, we could practice and then you’d be able to do this on your own.”  Phia frowns slightly.

“I don’t know…”

“You know what the best thing about being alive is?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to decide right now.  There’s always tomorrow.”  Phia smiles at her poetic brother and nods.

“Thank you for this, Rem.” Remus nods.

“Anytime.”

 

As the group walks back through Hogsmeade, stopping here and there to look at things, they walk into Lucius.  Well, Lily does.

“Oh, sorry!  …Malfoy, oh, um…yeah, sorry,” She mumbles as she helps him up, he looks at Remus before looking back at her.

“No harm done, Evans.”  She seems surprised before she nods, he turns to Remus, “Remy, how are you?” Remus shrugs.

“Pretty good at the moment, we went flying.”

“Oh, so that was you screaming I heard a while ago then?” James and Sirius snicker at him before seeming to realise who it was mocking him.

“At least I’m not choking on my drink.” Lucius chuckles and nods.

“I don’t believe we’ve met, Lucius Malfoy.” Lucius holds a hand out to Phia who looks to Remus, getting a nod before she shakes his hand.

“Phia Lupin.”

“Ah, you would be the twin.  It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Lupin.  Oh um, Remy, Druella asked me to give you this.”  He hands over an envelope before he smiles, “See you all around, nice meeting you.”

“You too.”  Lucius leaves, Phia frowns, “That guy has a weird vibe around him.”

“See, it’s not just us that think so!” James tells Remus who huffs, Severus rolls his eyes.

“Lucius really isn’t that bad.”

“Didn’t he torment you, Severus?”

“Didn’t you?” James shuts up.

“What does my Aunt want with you?” Sirius asks Remus, he hadn’t looked away from the envelope since Lucius handed it to his friend, Remus shrugs, opening the envelope.

_Mr Lupin,_

_We were sorry to hear about the termination of your relationship with our daughter._

_We do hope it will not impede further cooperation with us._

_Cordially,_

_Lord Cygnus Black III and Lady Druella Black_

Remus frowns at the letter in his hand, did that mean Bellatrix broke up with him against their advice? They still seemed to want something from him…surely they wouldn’t have pushed him away if they still had use of him.  But if that were the case then…then Bellatrix really did break up with him because he’s a monster she can have no future with.  Remus breathes in deeply as he folds the letter and puts it back into the envelope, then into his pocket.

 _I am in way over my head._ He thinks with a sigh as he shakes his head.

“Nothing of import,” He finally responds, looking up to find unsatisfied faces, he rolls his eyes, “Merely checking that Trixie and I breaking up won’t ‘impede further cooperation with us’, whatever that means.”

“That’s…not what I expected,” Sirius tells him with a frown, he nods solemnly.

“Yes, it hardly seems like _good_ news.”

“What do you mean?  You won over your girlfriend’s Mother to the point that she wants to continue talking to you despite you no longer dating her daughter.  How is that not a win?  Even if, you know, everything else fucking sucks.” Remus chuckles at her words before sobering and shaking his head.

“Dad and I may have been a bit careful about what we told you about that family.  Most of the younger generation is perfectly friendly, Sirius, Drom, Reg,…Trixie…anyway, their parents are a little….mad.” James snorts.

“C’mon Remy, we’re all mad here.” Mary, Severus, Phia, Lily, and Remus all look at him in amusement, Marlene, Peter, James, and Sirius exchange confused looks.

“Muggle reference?” Peter asks, the others nod, still looking amused, then Remus clicks at him.

“Exactly, yes, the reference.  So, imagine I’m Alice, lost in this ‘magical wonderland’ and Druella Black is the Red Queen.” Phia frowns.

“Somehow, I don’t think her wanting to have anything to do with you is a good thing.” Remus nods.

“Exactly.”

“MARCO!” Mary suddenly yells out loudly.

“ _POLO!_ ” Lily, Severus, Phia, Remus, and a bunch of people, young and old, around them, and some quite far away, yell back.

“What was the point of that?” Lily asks Mary who’s laughing hard.

“I was just thinking of the amount of things we can do or say that purebloods just won’t understand.”

“Ah, there you both are!” Lyall Lupin exclaims as he walks closer to the group, “Thought I heard your voices when you shouted Polo.”

“It works!”

“We have to go Phia, immediately.  Sorry Kids.” Phia and Remus frown at each other but she obediently hugs everyone good bye and goes with her frantic father.

“I’ll write.”  Is the last thing she says as she looks at Remus, and it’s the best thing he’s heard in years.

 

“I still maintain there’s more purebloods than half-bloods or muggle-borns. Probably put together too,” James says as they sit down at dinner that night, Lily shakes her head.

“I disagree, statistically speaking there is simply more opportunity for non-purebloods to be born than there are for pure-bloods because of the particular nature their families have to maintain.”

“Yes but, it’s Hogwarts, a wizarding school, so…” James trails off as he realises what he’s saying, “Wow I really do have a pure-blood mindset, don’t I?” He asks as he frowns, Remus claps him on the back.

“The first step is accepting you have a problem.” James narrows his eyes at Remus.

“Says the guy who’s tipsy right now.” Remus waves him off dismissively.

“Well, I can’t help with that one, but I can find out exactly how many students in this school aren’t pureblood,” Mary tells them, completely ignoring Remus nearly hitting her in the face when he waved off James.

“How?” Peter asks, Mary grins at him and walks up to the stage the teacher’s table is on.

“So, Potter’s just realised how much of a pureblood mindset he has and he’s working on that.  In the meantime, it’s become clear to me that many seem to think there are more purebloods in here than half-bloods or muggle-borns.  Would you mind if I borrow this part of the stage and prove them wrong?” Dumbledore looks amused at her but waves a hand in a ‘have at it’ sort of way.

“Be my guest.”  She smiles at him as she turns to face the student body.

“WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?” She yells at them,

“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!” A bunch yell back, the others who understand seem to laugh, the purebloods all look extremely confused.

“ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE!”

“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!”

“IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH.”

“SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!”

“THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH!”  Mary now starts moving her hands like a conductor as they all join in, “SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPOONGEY BOB, SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS.” They all put their hand near their noses and pretend to play a recorder all singing “DODODODODODO DO DO.”

“WHOOOOOOAAAAAAA!” They all yell excitedly as people clap and laugh happily, a quarter of the room, maybe less, seem confused, Mary nods as she turns back to the teachers’ table.

“Thank you.”  She goes back to the table, Remus and Lily greeting her happily as the atmosphere in the room remains remarkably jovial.  Sirius, James, Peter, and Marlene all look really awkward, looking around, Remus sees many of the purebloods looking the same.

“What’s wrong?” James scratches the back of his head awkwardly as Marlene shakes her head and Sirius starts looking around for his brother.

“Come on guys, what is it?” Mary asks, not understanding why they’re being so weird.

“It’s just…don’t worry about it,” Marlene tells them, Sirius grabs her hand, comforting his girlfriend after locking eyes with Regulus and making sure he’s okay, “He all right?”

“I’m not sure he’s really understood what just happened.”

“What _did_ just happen?” Remus asks, Peter sighs, looking at his lap, but it’s James that speaks.

“We’re a minority.” Lily frowns in confusion.

“And?  A second ago you thought we were, _now_ you have a problem with it?” James’ frown deepens.

“Lily, I know you’re defensive about this, and I understand why.  But for a moment could you please just try to look at this from our point of view?”

“And what _is_ your point of view then?” Lily asks his harshly, James looks around the room, unsurprised to see many in the same state he is.

“Everything we were raised believing to be true isn’t.  You’ve just shown how few of us there are left, half the room is going to resent that, take it back to their elitist parents and make more of a fuss than before.  The other has never really had a problem with blood purity and shite, like me, but still was raised thinking there were more of us than you.  Thinking you were sort of just starting to gain ground and we were helping you along.  Those people you’ve shown how alike they really were with the others, and that our way of life is completely falling apart. Soon, it’ll be gone entirely.  _That_ is my point of view,” James walks out after that, Peter soon trailing after.  Quite a few people in the room choose to retire at that point actually.

“It might be hard right now, but this is a good thing.  I think everyone needed to know how far in the past that kind of thing really is,” Sirius tells them, the most unaffected by the news simply because he had been hoping for it because of his family.

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be,” Remus says, “Not all of it anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Mary asks, Remus frowns.

“I’m not sure yet, excuse me.” He leaves, Sirius shakes his head as he turns back to his friends.

“He is one weird dude.”

 

_Lord and Lady Black,_

_I appreciate your concern, I too hope this business does not affect future correspondence._

_To that effect, I have a project I am hoping you will be able to help me with._

_A friend of mine believed, incorrectly, that there were more purebloods at Hogwarts than other sorts.  He was proven wrong through a show of Muggle culture within the school._

_My friend was then quite put out at the thought of your way of life dying out far more than he had previously believed._

_I took this to be an opportunity to show others what being a wizard really means, perhaps it will encourage purebloods to keep their lines pure, perhaps one day you will no longer be_ _‘_ _a minority_ _’_ _as he put it._

_My query is, what sorts of traditions do purebloods follow that can be taken up here in Hogwarts to promote the continued use of the wizarding way of life?_

_Respectfully,_

_Remus J Lupin_

_Euphemia and Monty,_

_Hi,_

_Mary accidentally broke your son and many of the pureblood wizards here._

_I_ _’_ _m trying to fix them._

_What sorts of things do wizards do?  Traditions, old jokes, the sorts of things those from mixed families just won_ _’_ _t understand?_

_Yours Hopefully,_

_Remus J Lupin_

_Dad,_

_I know you hate blood purity and the like, but we_ _’_ _ve got a bit of a situation._

_So I was hoping you could tell me about wizarding culture, the bits that muggle-borns and half-bloods don_ _’_ _t follow or understand or know about?_

_Your Son,_

_Remus_

Three days later, Gryffindor house is concerned.  Remus Lupin has been disappearing a lot without explanation, and now he’s skipped an entire day of school.

The house heads down to dinner…and are very surprised.

“What is all this?” Lily asks as the group enters, James looks around in awe.

“Old Wizarding tradition.  The third Friday of everything month you’d have your bloodline come over and there’d be this big dinner,” He explains, “We used to do it every month when I was little but…not in years.”

“It’s…extravagant.” James chuckles.

“Thanks for not saying arrogant.  I think you just…don’t realise that…it’s not arrogance or a need to show off Lily, we’re just a people that enjoy big and, by your standards, over the top things.  If you can live like that, why wouldn’t you?” She looks around with his words in mind and realises that this isn’t all for show, it’s for family, she smiles.

“Could I have everyone’s attention please?” The hall turns to Remus who stands on the stage and dressed in traditional wizarding attire, “So, a week ago we found out how few purebloods are left in the school which bothered them a lot.  I know a lot of us think that’s pretty stupid and that it shouldn’t matter, but the fact of the matter is the traditions of wizards are dying out as purebloods do.  So, I thought that as we force them to accept us, we should accept them as well.  This is an old tradition, the third Friday of every month a dinner is held for family, called Wizard Dine.  It is supposed to keep families together and you’d attend regardless of what drama was happening at the time.  You should feel free to sit wherever you like with your friends.  If you have a significant other you should sit beside them, there’s a protocol for this though at these dinners so pay attention.  Should your relationship be between man and women, the women should sit on the left of the man.  If it’s a woman and a woman, the eldest should be on the right.  If it’s a man and a man, the eldest should be on the left. If you have a significant other who is not here, the seat to your left should remain empty,” Remus quiets as everyone finds a seat before continuing, “The point of this dinner is to learn the customs of our ancestors, but the point of the tradition itself is to use the opportunity to get along with family, remain close with those that matter.  That’s what we should take this opportunity to do, learn, and care.  Thank you.” Remus moves off the stage, the hall clapping as he joins his friends.

“Remy…” James says as he takes a seat, his friends cringe slightly as they notice him leaving an empty seat on his left side.

“Yeah?” James’ smile turns soft as he looks at his friend.

“Thank you.” Remus shrugs.

“Don’t thank me, it wasn’t my idea, how would I have even known about this thing?”

“Who gave you the idea then?” Sirius asks as they hear loud laughter sound across the room, Remus scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

“I wrote to a few different people, there’s some more stuff happening over the next few days.  I’m hoping some of them will stick, this particular idea came from Euphemia though.  She mentioned you used to love these dinners,” He tells them, focusing on James for the last part, James beams happily as they all get chatting.

 

An hour later, Dumbledore gains everyone’s attention, they all turn to look at him.

“In my days, we would do these sorts of dinners every month at Hogwarts, perhaps we should be doing this again.  Traditionally this would be the time when the elders of the family suggest an activity for the relatives to all do together.  As this is not a typical situation, I believe Mr Lupin has gained a few suggestions, so if you wouldn’t mind Remus?”  Remus gets up and heads back up to the stage, everyone clapping as he goes up.

“All right, this is an old wizards game, it’s sort of like bingo except it’s based on facts, and…not at all like bingo, okay forget bingo.” The hall chuckles at him, “What we do is right down a random fact, the most bizarre you can think of and they get collected and brought up here.  Someone will read out the fact, and if you knew it, you put your hands on your head.  The person at the end whose fact got the _least_ amount of hands on heads wins.  Should anyone’s fact be known by no one, they automatically win.  Shall we play?” He snaps his fingers and paper appears in front of everyone, they spend a few minutes thinking before they write things down.  Eventually everything comes up to the front, “Eleenie, do you happen to have your box on you that puts duplicates in piles?”  His teacher grins and grabs the box out of her pocket, Remus gives her a quizzical look, “Casually carrying around a magic box, all good.” In true mature Professor fashion, Eleenie pokes her tongue out at him, Minerva rolls her eyes, “Feel free to chat amongst yourselves as I sort this quickly.”

“So is this a common game in wizard households?” Mary asks curiously, Peter nods.

“More than anything, wizards value knowledge.  The whole knowledge is power thing, that comes from us.  We mean power literally though.  This game came about to get kids interested in the world around them and give them a wide array of random knowledge, they can find what catches their interest and start focusing on it from an early age,” He explains, James laughs.

“I never realised this was a purely wizard game, I thought everyone played Factoid growing up.”

“Factoid?” Lily asks as Peter laughs with his friend.

“Name of the game,” Marlene explains just as Remus gets everyone’s attention.

“Okay so, let’s get started.  Also, for the sake of honesty, a charm has been put on the room so that there can be no cheating, apparently some of our Professors don’t trust a room full of competitive teenagers, Merlin knows why,” The hall laughs at him again, the teacher’s looking just as amused, then Remus looks at the paper in his hand in interest, “Welp, I did ask for bizarre.  So, apparently Albatrosses spend so much time hunting that they sleep while flying, taking hundreds of mini naps in the air.  Anyone know that?” He asks as he looks around the room, three hands go on heads, he nods impressed, “This is going to be a close competition.

All right, next fact, the largest postage stamp in the world is the ‘Mother of Emirates’ stamp from the United Arab Emirates.  It’s 1.36 x 1.77 metres big. You do not have to know the exact measurements to put your hands on your head for this one.”  Five people knew this one, Remus regards the room in amusement and bewilderment, “Why do you people _know_ that?  Seriously how does this shit come up in your lives?” He asks with a laugh, chuckles resounding throughout the room, McGonagall clears her throat, “Stuff, this stuff.” She sighs at him as she shakes her head, “Next fact, there is a planet about the size of Neptune with a surface temperature of 245 degrees Celsius and is covered with compressed water.  It’s called Gliese 436 b and is thirty million light years from Earth.” All of the Blacks put their hands on their heads, as does Lucius, and a bunch of Ravenclaws, “And on this day, no one was surprised, hey whose fact was this?” Regulus raises his hand, “Why doesn’t the water evaporate? Sorry guys this’ll honestly keep me up at night if I don’t get an answer.” Again people laugh at him, he chuckles too as he looks to Regulus.

“It’s the gravity.  The water is known as Ice-X but it’s not ice as we know it.  More like how diamond is compressed carbon, the gravity compresses the water and keeps it from being able to evaporate because it’s too tightly packed.”

“That’s really fu…um…freaking cool,” He says, amending his statement at the pointed look he can feel burning the back of his neck from Minerva, “Okay, next fact…” He chuckles suddenly as he reads it before gaining composure, “Werewolves reach maturity between the ages of seventeen and twenty-three.” His entire group put their hands on their heads, as do Bellatrix, Eleenie, McGonagall, and a Ravenclaw, “This school is so damned weird, all right, next, oh my god what the hell is our planet?” He asks as he laughs, he tries to read it but he keeps laughing, McGonagall rolls her eyes and comes to read the fact for him, she shakes her head at Remus as she looks at the paper.

“Is this accurate?” She asks the boy, frowning and seeming very surprised, but it’s Dumbledore who responds.

“The paper is blanked if the fact is incorrect.”

“Over 200 people are attacked by cassowaries per year.” She frowns, “They’re only found in two places in the world, what do those people do to these birds?”

“Actually, most Cassowary attacks are just because people feed them and then they get agitated when they stop,” A random Ravenclaw calls out.

“This was your fact?” The Ravenclaw shakes their head, Remus laughs harder.

“Rule number one, don’t feed a cassowary.  Rule number two, if you do feed a cassowary, don’t stop.  Rule number three, if you do stop, run,” Remus eventually gets out.

“Don’t do that, do you know how fast cassowaries can run?” Eleenie calls from behind him, Remus nods.

“Up to 50 Km/h, they can jump up to two metres into the air as well.  Both of which, are other facts I read in this box so, hands?”  A surprising amount of people put their hands on their heads, including Dumbledore, “Why do you people know so much about cassowaries?  I’ve lived in Australia and I didn’t know that!”

“Anyone know Remy lived in Australia?” Sirius asks as he stands up and looks around, no one puts their hands on their heads, “Looks like you won Mate.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“Peter, Adelaide is in Australia.”

“Oh!” He puts his hands on his head, Remus shakes his head in exasperation.

“In Malaysia, there is a pen-tailed tree shrew that drinks a fermented nectar each night which has an alcohol content similar to muggle beer.”  One person puts their hands on their heads, “This your fact?” The Hufflepuff shakes their head, “Good because I forgot to mention not to put your hands on your head for your own fact but I’m pretty sure most of you worked that out anyway.  Okay, I think that’s our winner so far, let’s continue,

In 1672 a prime minister was eaten by an angry dutch mob.  What the hell is _wrong_ with people?!  Why would you _eat_ someone?” He asks bewildered, no one puts their hands on their heads, “Okay, that’s an automatic win, whose fact was this?” he asks waving it above his head wildly, a Ravenclaw from their year stands up, “You sir, have serious issues.”

“Congratulations Mr Lockhart,” McGonagall says as she glares at Remus.

“Time for desert!” Remus snaps his fingers again and everyone’s favourite desert appeared before them, he runs back to his seat and joins his friends.

“That was wickedly amazing!” Lily tells him excitedly as he sits, he grins at her and nods excitedly.

“Seriously, why do people know so much about cassowaries?”

“More importantly, why does Pete know you lived in the outback and we don’t?” Sirius demands of him, Remus laughs outright.

“Adelaide is not the outback you moron.  I lived there for a year when I was seven.  It came up in conversation, that’s all.”

“Out of curiosity, have you forgotten what tonight is?” James asks him, Remus frowns.

“What do you mean?”

“That thing,” He says rather pointedly, Remus still looks confused, Peter coughs into his hand, looking up when Remus looks over, Remus’ eyes widen.

“Shit.”

“Is this the prank you lot were planning?” Marlene groans as she drops her head onto Sirius’ chest, Remus smiles at the two of them, happy for the two of them, for some reason Sirius goes twitchy about it.

“Yeah, honestly though, it could be an epic ending to tonight.”

“Agreed.  Everyone will be in high spirits so they’ll actually take it as a joke.”

“So long as it works,” Peter adds, Sirius glares at him as James laughs and claps him on the back.

“Stop worrying Pete, it’ll be great!”

“Please don’t ruin an amazing night,” Severus requests, Remus chuckles.

“Believe me Sev, _nothing_ is ruining tonight, I put in far too much effort for that. I got help on the spell from a reliable source, don’t worry Wormtail, it’ll work.”

After desert was finished, Remus got back up onto the stage.

“So we have a two final games for tonight, some hot drinks, and then we’ll have to say goodnight.  Don’t worry though, I got permission to extend curfew tonight so Filch won’t lose his…stuff.  Nope, that sounds bad.  Um, you get the point.”

“Just tell them the game Mr Lupin,” McGonagall requests, Remus grins at her.

“Next up Name that potion!”

“Then, Wizardmind.”

“Yes!” Narcissa calls out, blushing when everyone looks at her, Sirius just grins at her unexpectedly.

“I’ll beat you this time Cissy.”  She guffaws in response.

“You’re on Ri.”

“Usual bets?” She nods strongly, Sirius nods back.

“Why do I feel like we’ve walked into something here?”

“It’s best you don’t ask too many questions,” Regulus tells him, Remus laughs.

“Thanks for the advice Little Marauder.” Regulus flushes and ducks his head at the name, “All right, to play this game, I will begin reading out potion ingredients, first person to correctly guess the potion wins.”  The game comes down to Severus and a seventh year Ravenclaw, Severus wins though.  Slughorn looks extremely proud.

“All right, now, drinks!” Hot chocolates appear in front of everyone at a snap of Remus’ fingers.  James gets out his wand and waves it at Remus, mumbling something under his breath.  Remus worriedly looks at the drink in his hand, the melting stick of chocolate in the drink had been transfigured into a cinnamon stick, Remus looks at James in outrage, “My wand wasn’t enough, now you take away my chocolate?!”

“You have a death wish don’t you Mate?” Sirius asks James who is laughing too hard to answer.

“I swear to god James Potter you will live to regret this.”  James says something that Remus can’t make out, Lily looks concerned though.

“He says check your pocket.”  Remus frowns as he reaches into his pocket, the hall looking on is amusement, suddenly he panics and grabs the cinnamon out of the hot chocolate, waving it around wildly and trying to dry it.

“I will fucking _end_ you Potter!” He says as he wipes it off on his robes, he places his hot chocolate on the table behind him and waves his hand at James before focusing back on the cinnamon stick, James’ hot chocolate freezes.  Remus pulls a piece of chocolate out of his pocket, eating it while glaring still.

“Oh Merlin, that was your wand in the drink wasn’t it,” Lucius mutters loudly, Remus’ glare deepens at James as he nods.

“Watch it.”

“Oh please, your bark is far worse than your bite.  One might even say you have…blunt fangs.”  James gets up and runs as he finishes saying it, Eleenie sputters indignantly, Remus chasing after him and out of the hall, Lily rolls her eyes.

“One moment.”  She walks out of the hall, pulling out her wand as she goes.  A few moments later she walks in, pulling James by the ear, Remus floating beside her where her wand is pointed, pouting.  She deposits Remus on the stage and pushes James to sit before nodding for Remus to continue.

“So Wizardmind.  I will state facts about the witch/wizard, and you all have to work out who it is, so are you ready kids?”

“Aye Aye Captain!” A bunch of non-purebloods call out, Remus chuckles and shakes his head.  They play a few rounds of this, Sirius and Narcissa won three each, the seventh round was to be the tie breaker, but neither could get it. By the third fact, Bellatrix was laughing, hard.  The next one gave away the answer for Lucius who tries to hide his amused look in his goblet. 

“Oh come on, seriously?  Favourite colour is teal.”

“Why do you _know_ that?” Bellatrix asks him, he just grins and winks at her, she laughs, then they both lock eyes and she looks away quickly.  Remus bites his lip as he keeps his eyes firmly on the sheet of paper before him.

“Born in 1929.”

“Oh!” Regulus calls, eyes widening as he gets it, he sniggers.

“His name is Greek for the word swan, seriously?  Still nothing?  Hates lettuce?”

“You pick up on the weirdest stuff Remy,” Lucius tells him, he rolls his eyes.

“You two suck so bad, how have you not gotten this?! _I_ _’_ _ve_ gotten this!” James tells them both, a lot of the hall seems to have as well.

“He’s the third to hold his name, he’s fathered three children, he has two brothers, seriously guys come on.”  Narcissa and Sirius exchange confused looks, both indicating that they have no idea.

“His wife once threw a raw chicken at him.”

“CYGNUS BLACK THE THIRD!” both shout instantaneously.

“Yes!  My god, seriously, why do I know more about your Uncle/Father than you do?”

“That’s a very good question,” Sirius replies, looking at him suspiciously, “How do you know?”

“I asked him.” Sirius frowns at that.

“Why did your Mother throw a raw chicken at your Father?” Samael asks them in confusion and surprise.

“He said she was a coward, called her a chicken, she yelled out ‘I’ll show you a chicken!’ and straight up grabbed the thing from the kitchen and ditched it at him. Single weirdest moment of my entire life,” Narcissa replies, Bellatrix pouts.

“I’m _clearly_ not trying hard enough then.”

“Right, that brings us to the end of tonight, thank you all for coming and I hope you all enjoyed this sneak peek into the life of a traditional wizard.  Good night to all.”

People start filing out of the hall, the Marauders hanging back to dawdle after them.  It’s not long before they hear what they’re waiting for.

“THOSE DAMNED MARAUDERS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that SpongeBob wasn’t around in the 70s but seeing as I wasn’t either I had no idea what sort of call and response thing there might have been and Google did not help.  
> I went with SpongeBob, despite hating the show, for my sister who loves it and is being very supportive of my story.  
> So, shout out to Helena.G.Wells, she’s over on FanFiction.net, anyone also on there should check her out if you’re into Marvel stuff.  
> Anyways, apologies for historical inaccuracy.


	23. For Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter ☹  
> TRIGGER WARNING: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP BRIEF MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT (As in questioned and answered in the affirmative and that’s it) Most of the abuse is just referenced or alluded to but there’s some memories that come up where some abuse of both the physical and mental kind is explicit. If this is going to upset you, do not read any of this chapter except, quite literally, the first sentence. I’ll have a small summary of anything pertinent to the story at the end of the chapter, just read that.

They got detention for a month, it sort of lost its effect when Flitwick had them teach him how they managed to reverse gravity within the common rooms.

 

Their holidays are extremely boring, well, everyone’s but Remus’.

At the train station, everyone’s looking forward to their final term of fourth year (second for Regulus), but that excitement is killed immediately upon spotting Remus.

“You had best use this term to screw your head on young man, we will _not_ have a repeat of these holidays, are we clear?” Lyall tells Remus sternly, Remus rolls his eyes and starts limping onto the train, calling his reply over his shoulder.

“Try and fucking stop it old man.”

“Is…everything okay…?” Marlene asks the Lupins carefully, Hope just burst into tears, Lyall wrapping his arms around her.

“No, everything is not okay,” Phia states harshly, glaring at the ground, James walks over and wraps her up in a hug, whispering something to her that the rest can’t hear.

“Sorry, just some family drama,” Lyall tells everyone with an entirely forced smile.

“We’d better get on the train, we’ll keep an eye on him,” Sirius tells Lyall and Hope, they seem thankful though neither voices it.

“Lils,” Petunia whispers, yanking on her sister’s arm, Lily looks at her questioning, “Derek?” She asks quietly, Lily seems surprised, Petunia had been doing her damnedest to ignore Remus’ apparent preferences if not being outright cold about it.  She nods hesitantly, Petunia’s eyes darken, “I’m going to track him down while you lot are at school.”

“Be careful Pet.”

“I will, stay safe little sister,” The two sisters hug each other tightly, neither having a good feeling about this.

 

When they find Remus on the train, they find Lucius sitting across from him in their usual compartment, Sirius glares at him, he raises his hands placatingly.

“I’m not here for trouble, I just happened to notice Remy having a rather large drink of something and thought he’d best be kept company.  Do try to help him, yes?” Lucius leaves after his rather scathing remark.  Lily quickly turns her attention to their friend who stares moodily out of the window, she walks over and holds her hand out.

“Hand it over.”

“Fuck off.”

“Hey!  We’re trying to help, don’t talk to her like that.”

“Despite your wet dreams Potter, she’s not _actually_ your girlfriend, though you’re clearly her bitch.”

“Okay, let’s all take a deep breath before anyone says anything they’ll regret, or says _more_ that they’ll regret,” Sirius requests, standing between the two boys, Remus scoffs.

“Oh I don’t think I’ll be regretting that one,” He says as he takes a gulp from a flask in his hands, Severus glares and snatches the flask from him, spiling some down his chin and clothes, “Oi!”

“Don’t ‘oi’ me Lupin.  You’re being a prick.  I don’t know what the hell happened to you, though I can guess, but I’m not going to let you poison yourself.  Now we’re going to help regardless of whether or not you want us to, and no matter what shit comes out of your mouth, we are not going anywhere.  So you can continue to insult the people who care about you, or, you can be better than I have ever been and accept the help of your friends.”  He sits across from Remus at that point, pulling a book out of his jacket pocket and reading from it, everyone stands around awkwardly for a moment as Remus glares daggers before moving his glaring out of the window.  The others take that as a cue to sit down.

They drag him straight to Pomfrey when they arrive who insists he stay over night while his broken ribs heal.  Instead of going to the welcome back feast, his friends all remain with him until curfew.

 

A week after that, Remus is lead to breakfast by his friends who had found him drunk the night before and passed out in the bathroom.  They could only hope this was a low point that would turn everything around, yet they doubted it.

“One more time, this happens again and we go to a teacher,” James had declared, no one argued.

He’s extremely hungover and miserable as he sits and refuses to even look at anyone let alone speak.

Then Lily gets a letter in the mail.

“No! Oh god no!” She suddenly exclaims, tears quickly filling her eyes as she grabs a handful of hair and starts pulling on it as she panics, “You!  THIS IS YOUR FAULT!” She screams at Remus who seems confused as he winces at the volume.

“Wha’ve I done?” He mumbles as he blinks at her.

“MY SISTER IS IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!”

“Oh my god, Lily, what happened?!” Severus asks her, worry filling the entire group.

“HIS FUCKING BOYFRIEND HAPPENED!”  Remus sits up straighter, now paying attention and looking extremely concerned.

“Lily, what the hell are you talking about?”

“She tracked him down after she saw you at the train station, oh god I told her to be careful, I should have stopped her.”

“Yes, you should have!” Remus tells her, James glares at him.

“Hey, don’t put this on her!”

“I told you all to leave it alone,” Remus warns them, voice dark and harsh.

“YOUR BOYFRIEND JUST PUT MY SISTER IN THE HOSPITAL AND YOU’RE BLAMING US?!”

“YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING LEFT IT ALONE!”

“YOU THINK WE CAN’T TELL HE’S HURTING YOU REMUS, YOU THINK WE DON’T CARE?!  OF COURSE WE WOULDN’T LEAVE IT ALONE!”

“THEN IT’S YOUR OWN DAMNED FAULT PETUNIA GOT HURT!” James stands up, grabbing Remus’ collar and dragging him up too before punching him in the face, he’s knocked to the ground, and spits blood as he glares at James who puts an arm around Lily’s shoulders and leads her out of the hall as she sobs.  The rest of his group follow after though Sirius hesitates to leave.  Then arms are on either of his and hauling him up, he looks around to see Lucius on one side and Peter on the other.

“C’mon Mate, we should get out of here.”

“We should go to my common room,” Lucius suggests, Peter looks at him gratefully as they begin to guide their friend in that direction.  Out of the corner of his eye, Lucius sees Bellatrix look worried and attempt to get up, but Rodolphus waves his wand subtly under the table and Bellatrix sits down, looking like she doesn’t have a care in the world.  That is until she locks eyes with Lucius and looks at him pleadingly, he files it all away to deal with as soon as he can, right now this was more urgent.

 

Lily and Severus are given permission to return home, Severus promising to keep the group updated. 

Due to Lily’s words in the great hall, Remus isn’t all too surprised to be called into Dumbledore’s office later that day, and even less surprised to find his parents waiting in the room.  He’s a bit surprised to see the Evans’ there though, well, Kyle anyway.  He’s extremely annoyed to see Pomfrey there, hadn’t they ever heard of matron/patient confidentiality? Remus doesn’t speak, he just glares at everyone in the room.

“Mr Lupin, please, have a seat,” Dumbledore invites when it becomes clear he isn’t starting this, gesturing to the seat across from his desk.  Remus doesn’t move, “Very well, I’m sure you can imagine why we’re here,” He still doesn’t speak, “I’m certain you understand we are all worried for you.” He says nothing as he blinks back the angry tears filling his eyes, though angry at what, he isn’t sure.

“Remus, please, talk to us,” Hope pleads as she walks over to her son, she kneels in front of him, hands on his shoulders, he blinks back tears as he looks into her eyes, he looks back to the ground.

“I have nothing to say,” He pretends not to have seen his Mother’s heartbroken face.

“My daughter is in the hospital, and you have nothing to say?” Kyle Evans asks angrily, Remus closes his eyes and bites his lip as he shrinks in on himself, “I want to know why the hell I got a call that my daughter was brought to the hospital after being found in a parking lot, beaten within an inch of her life!” Remus flinches as he hears Dumbledore attempt to calm Kyle down.

“Remus, why are you protecting him?” Hope asks her son desperately, he doesn’t open his eyes, “Please, Remus.” Remus scrunches his eyes closed tighter before he takes a deep breath, then opens his eyes as he looks up to the wall behind everyone.

“I have nothing to say,” He repeats.

“We’re taking him to court,” Kyle informs him, Remus’ heart quickens in panic.

“He’ll get out of it.”  Kyle locks eyes with him as he looks at him very seriously.

“Not if you testify against him.”  Remus feels the tears finally spilling over as he shakes his head.

“No.”

“Remus, you’ll be safe,” Hope tells the boy, her son, he shakes his head ferociously.

“No, I’m safe now, h-he just gets upset sometimes okay?  If I didn’t upset him none of this would be happening okay?! _It_ _’_ _s my fault not his_!”

“Remus, none of this is your fault, he has no right to hurt you,” Lyall tells his son, walking forward, Remus flinches back as he looks back to the ground, tears coming freely now.

“No, it’s my fault okay, it’s mine.”

“It’s not, please Remus, please help them, help _you_.”

“No!  he-he LOVES ME!  I-I _can_ _’_ _t lose him_ , p-pl-please I-I can-can’t,” He begs as he starts completely losing it, Hope moving to hug her son but he jerks away violently, pushing her back with magic and panicking, “No, no you’re going to take him away from me, you can’t, you can’t, DAMMIT I WON’T LET YOU! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?! _I_ _’_ _M NOTHING WITHOUT HIM!_ ”

“Don’t you dare say that!” Remus looks at his Mother in shock, she looks stern and angry, “Remus John Lupin, you are _everything_ to me.  You and your sister are the most important thing to me, that will never not be true.  Don’t you dare say you are nothing when you are half of the thing I am the most proud of creating.” Remus just drops to the ground, crying.  Hope walks over and wraps her arms around him, “Oh my boy, I am so sorry.”

A while later he finally starts calming down, Kyle walks over and squats down beside them, laying a hand gently on Remus’ shoulder.

“I love my daughter, my children are my everything.  Please.”  Remus grips his Mother tighter and nods slightly, the tension bleeds out of the room.

“W-What he did though, it wouldn’t have healed by now without ma-magic,” Remus admits, looking at the ground in embarrassment and shame.

“But you can testify to what he’s done in the past.” Again Remus gives a slight nod.

 

Remus gets taken to the hospital Petunia is in to speak with the police, he meets them outside the hospital room.  He sees Lily and Sev sitting beside the bed but doesn’t look over, shifting awkwardly as he grabs his elbow with the other hand and bites his lip, hunching his shoulders and looking at the ground.

A few minutes later he and his parents walk off with the officers, Kyle rejoining his family.

“He agreed then?” Laura asks nervously, Kyle nods, “How is he?” Kyle huffs out a breath, shaking his head.

“That kid has a whole lot of therapy coming his way.  Lily, Severus, should someone you love _ever_ lay a hand on you in any unwanted way, promise me you’ll come to me?  Don’t-don’t end up in that situation, please.  Because I just watched a usually cheerful fellow completely break down, screaming about how he’s nothing without the monster who did this,” He tells them, pointing to his still unconscious daughter, “And I cannot stand the thought of that being either of you,” He finishes, voice wet, Severus and Lily both walk over, embracing him, Laura soon joining.

“I promise Dad.”

“Me too.”

 

The next day Remus, Phia, and Lyall show up at the hospital, Phia knocks on the door to Petunia’s room.

“Hey, come on in,” Lily tells them, the three walk in, Remus still looking horribly hesitant and awkward.

“How is she?” Phia asks worriedly, they hear a snort from the bed and look over.

“‘She’ is just fine, thank you.” Phia walks over to the bed and gently hugs her friend.

“You should have brought me along Pet.” Petunia smiles, wincing slightly in pain.

“I should have done a lot of things differently.”

“Agreed,” Lily comments, Petunia smiles slightly at her before she turns to look at Remus who won’t meet her eyes.

“Could you guys give us a minute please?”  Lyall looks at his son uncertainly, but Remus nods at him so the others all leave, Lily squeezing his hand as she passes him and Severus doing the same to his shoulder.

“H-Hey,” Remus stutters awkwardly, Petunia takes a deep breath, grimacing against the pain it causes.

“I’m sorry Remy.”  Remus looks up at her in bewilderment.

“What in the entire fuck are you on about?!” Petunia smirks in victory at getting him to talk to her.

“I was rude to you after finding out you were…with a man,” She replies awkwardly, shaking her head at her own awkwardness, “It took me seeing you at the train station to realise you are my friend, not just Lily’s friend but my own, and I wasn’t about to let a little thing like who you love get in between that.  Admittedly I made a stupid decision in trying to prove that, but I just wanted you to be safe.”  Remus hesitates a moment longer, biting his lip, before he walks over and hugs her, she hugs him back.

“I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Just promise me you’re done with him?” Remus nods into her shoulder.

“I promise.”

 

That afternoon, Lily, Severus, and Remus reluctantly return to school, Phia promising to stay with Petunia as much as possible and keep them updated.

The three go straight back to the Gryffindor common room, everyone unsubtly staring at them as they walk through and into the boy’s dorm.  Remus immediately finds himself being hugged.

“When you are leaving the school for two days, will you bloody tell someone?!” He huffs as he hugs Sirius back.

“Well it wasn’t exactly planned on my part.”  When they broke apart, Remus sees Peter writing something, folding the paper into an aeroplane, tapping it with his wand and muttering before he throws it out of the window.

“What was that?” James asks, evidently having seen as well, Peter shrugs.

“I promised Lucius I’d tell him when Remus gets back.  You know, reassure him he’s not getting punched by his best friends.” A deadly glare accompanies the words, James flushes, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Yeah…about that, Remy I…”

“Don’t, James. I was way out of line and I fucking deserved it.”

“No one ever deserves being hurt, especially not by people who are supposed to be by their side.  You were a dick, but you weren’t exactly in your right mind.” Remus snorts.

“When am I ever, Potter?”

“At least Pet’s okay, or will be, and that bastard is going to be locked up for a _long_ time.”  Remus frowns down to the ground, ashamed of the tears that fill his eyes at Severus’ words.  Sirius hugs him again, he hugs him back as they pretend he’s not crying into his shoulder and soaking his shirt.

 

The week leading up to the actual court date (three weeks after the incident) Remus is freaking the fuck out.  The first night Sirius wakes up to go to the bathroom, barely awake he stumbles to the toilet.  On the way back, he’s slightly more awake, awake enough to hear the heavy breathing and the hitches in it, he looks around the room and sees a vague outline of Remus sitting up in his bed.

“Moony?”  He walks closer to the four-poster, eventually climbing on beside his friend who tenses up, “It’s okay Moons, it’s just me.”  Then the sobbing starts, Sirius closing the curtains and casting a silencing spell before enveloping the other boy in his arms, it killed him to see him like this.

“I-I fe-feel like I-I’m b-bet-traying hi-him,” Remus admits, Sirius isn’t sure what to say to that, douchebag or not, Remus is very clearly in love with, or strongly in like with, this boy.  He isn’t really sure you can talk someone out of that, Merlin knows he’s failed doing so with himself.  He holds Remus tightly against him, stroking his back as he waits out the tears.

“You’re protecting Petunia, and Phia.  Neither of them would stop, nor would he,” Sirius eventually says, Remus just buries himself further into Sirius’ chest.  Sirius can’t help but curse at Derek, the amount of times he’d imagined holding Remus, and this is how his dreams come true.

No one in history had understood the term ‘be careful what you wish for’ more than he.

 

Remus is quiet the next day, ashamed of himself for even caring about the boy who’d hurt his friend so badly.

 

That night, Sirius is shaken awake by a worried Peter, he doesn’t say a word, just points over to the window where Remus is sitting, James standing beside him and wringing his hands.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asks James as he gets up and walks over to sit in front of Remus.

“Staring at the moon, I woke up when he knocked my bed, clutz that he is.”

“Remy?  What’re doing?” Remus shrugs without looking over.

“Wanted calm, wanted Moony,” Was the monotone response.

“So let him through.”

“Sirius what are you going?!” James whispers harshly.

“He processes things differently as Moony, it might help!”

“Except Moony is still mooning over Bella!”

“Mate.” The two boys look over at the broken whisper to see Remus’ eyes have morphed into Moony’s.

“No Moony, not anymore.”

“Yes.” Sirius sighs, they’ve had this argument a few times now, he’s not in the mood to have it again.

“Do you know about Derek?” Moony growls at the name, James nods.

“I think he knows.”

“Moony love Derek?” Moony looks at Sirius, a snarl on his face.

“Bad.” Sirius nods.

“Yes, Derek is bad.  Can you explain that to your other half?” Sirius asks sarcastically, Moony cocks his head in question, Sirius shakes his, “Don’t worry.”

“Siri o-k?” Sirius smiles, ruffling Moony’s hair, the wolf leaning into it happily.

“Yeah Moons, I’m okay.”

“Good.”

 

Eventually they managed to get Moony to go to sleep, but when he woke up the next morning, he was still Moony.

“Oh crap.” Sirius rolls his eyes at Peter’s statement.

“Go get Severus.”

“From the Slytherin common room?”

“No from Hufflepuff, _yes from the Slytherin common room_!”

“Calm down Sirius, we’ll work this out.  Go on Wormtail, you can take the cloak.”

 

Ten minutes later, Severus rushes into the room, Peter quickly following after, huffing and puffing.

“Tell me exactly what happened.”

“Sev,” Moony says, pointing at Severus’ chest, Severus spares him a smile and nods, pointing at his chest.

“Moony.” Moony smiles widely at him.

“He was staring at the moon last night, wanted calm. Moony took over, he hasn’t come back,” James explains, Severus sighs, kneeling in front of Moony and looking at him.

“Moony, where’s Remus?” Moony seems confused, “Where is Remus?” He asks again, calmly, Moony’s eyes widen, he points at his head.

“Re-mu-us.”

“Is he okay?  Remus okay?” Severus asks, everyone else burning with questions but knowing it’s best left for Severus to deal with, Moony shakes his head gravely.

“Bad man.  Re-emus hurt.”

“No Moony, Remus isn’t hurt, he’s upset.”

“No, no. Bad hurt Remus.”

“Oh…you remember that.” The boys exchange looks, none sure how to react, “I suppose lowering the barrier between their minds did more than we thought.”

“So Moony remembers Remus’ life now?”

“Seems like.”

“I don’t think so,” Peter says, the other three look at him in confusion, “Remy says they aren’t two minds in one, they’re one mind in two.”

“What does that even mean?” James asks, Peter shrugs.

“I didn’t really understand what he was talking about but, I think it’s less Moony is a different person and more he is Remus on a different setting.  Like if you look through those coloured glasses Lily has the world looks a different colour than normal, but it’s still the same world.”

“So Moony is Remus through a different filter?” James asks slowly, Peter nods.

“We’ll discuss this later okay, Moony, can Remus come back?” Sirius asks the wolf who whimpers, “Remus has to go to school, please Moony, trust me.”

“Trust Siri?” Sirius nods, Moony nods, “I trust Siri.”  This was the first time Moony had ever used the term ‘I’ instead of his name.  Then the wildness and innocence faded from his eyes, he blinks several times.

“Remy?” Severus asks, Remus blinks a few times before nodding.

“Yeah, it’s me.”  He slumps back in his bed, “Sorry.”  Sirius walks over to the door and shouts down.

“OH FAVOURED AND MOST BEAUTIFUL LADY!”

“WHADDYA WANT BLACK?” Marlene shouts back from her dorm doorway.

“HOW WOULD YOU AND MY DEAR BASICALLY LITTLE SISTERS FEEL ABOUT A KITCHEN RAID?”

“SOUNDS GOOD, WHEN ARE YOU GOING?” They hear a bunch of snickers from the common room as Sirius huffs.

“WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE MOON.”

“WE’LL BE BACK IN TEN.”

“THANK YOU DEAREST.”

“SUCK MY DICK.”

“ANY TIME, ANYWHERE.”

“CHILDREN CAN HEAR YOU TWO!”

“SORRY HANK,” Both of them yell out, Sirius comes back to the others, “Food is on its way.”

“Hank won’t be here next year…” Peter suddenly states, the mood dampens instantly.

“Must you always do this?” Sirius asks him, Peter rolls his eyes.

 

Eight minutes, fifty-two seconds later Mary and Marlene enter, food hovering behind them.

“Lily’s checking for mail for any of us, we got breakfast.”

“You guys don’t have to do this.”

“Shush, we love you, we’re doing this.”

 

That day went better than the last did, though Remus was a bit out of it as he always is when returning from a wolfish mindset.

That night Remus was afraid to sleep, so the group stayed up eating pilfered desserts until most fell asleep where they were sitting.  When it was just Remus and Peter awake, they moved Lily, Marlene, and Mary to three of the beds and shoved James and Sirius into a fourth.  Severus had been reasonable and just gone to his bed on his own, they were quite glad it remained here along with a bunch of his stuff despite the lack of actual Severus lately.

The two stayed up chatting about random crap for the rest of the night.

 

“I am helping get my boyfriend thrown into prison in two days.” James and Severus freeze where they were making their beds, both turning to look at him in synch.

“Are you?” Remus’ warring expression changes to one of confusion as he looks at them, “I mean, is he still your boyfriend?” Remus’ face falls, despondency taking over.

“I don’t know.”

That’s when the nightmares started.

 

Peter, James, Sirius, and Severus are all woken up by yelling in the middle of the night, instantly rushing around and attempting to work out what was happening.

“NO! LEAVE HER ALONE, NO!” Four pairs of eyes snap to Remus’ bed, he whimpers, “Please stop, no, please, no more.” Sirius hurries over, collapsing to his knees beside the bed and trying to wake Remus up, being careful not to touch him.

“Remy, c’mon Moony, wake up, please Moons, Remy, wake up!  It’s not real, it’s not real Remus, come on, let it go, wake up.” Remus’ face screws up as his body jerks.

“GET AWAY FROM ME! NO!”

“Fuck it.” Sirius shakes Remus’ shoulders, he wakes up instantly, shoving himself into a corner of the bed and flinging a hand out sending Sirius flying.

“SIRIUS!” James calls, rushing over to his best friend as Peter moves to Remus.

“Moony?” He reaches out a hand to lightly touch his knee, Remus jerks back but doesn’t send him flying.

“No more, please, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll do it, I will.”

“Remy, you don’t have to do anything,” Peter tells him calmly, “It’s me Moons, it’s Wormtail, just focus on my voice, okay?  You’re safe, in Hogwarts, with your fellow Marauders, and Severus.  Who could be an honorary Marauder but never takes part in our amazing pranks.”

“W-Wormy?” Peter nods as Remus’ eyes focus on him.

“Yeah Moony, it’s me.”

“Wormy I don’t want him to hurt me anymore,” He whispers brokenly, looking absolutely terrified, Peter smiles as comfortingly as he can manage.

“Then he won’t.”

 

He has a panic attack during History of Magic, he and Binns are arguing as usual.

“It’s basic human rights!”

“It’s also quite literally history Mr Lupin, what is it you expect me to do about it?”

“Teach us correct information.”

“The correct information is simply this, they had slaves who would be beaten when they disobeyed.  The slaves grew tired of this and attempted an uprising, but their owner got away from the house and eventually returned to punish them, kidnapping and torturing their families, and then the slaves themselves.  You can quote human rights all you like Mr Lupin, that does not change how events occurred.” Binns narrowed his eyes when Remus doesn’t argue back nor admit defeat, he turns to face the boy again and sees him staring blankly, “Mr Lupin?”

“Fuck!” James exclaims as he realises what they were just talking about, Sirius dropping onto his knees beside Remus.

“Moony?”

“I don’t want him to come after me, or my family, Sirius I can’t do this I can’t.”

“Remus John Lupin, listen to me right now!” Sirius demands sharply, Remus looks directly at him, “The only way he can come after you is if you don’t testify.”

“He’ll be released eventually.”

“Yes, and by that point we’ll be settled down with kids and a house and a future and he won’t even be a passing thought.  He’ll have forgotten, and so will we.” Remus smiles ever so slightly.

“You really think so?”

“I _know_ so.  Even if he does turn up again one day, I will be right by your side, we all will be.  Marauders first, right?” Remus nods.

“Right.”

“And the rest of us are what?  Chop fucking liver?” Sirius rolls his eyes at his girlfriend’s words, but Remus chuckles slightly.

“Want to get out of here and go study in the library or something?”  Remus nods at Sirius, “Professor…”

“Yes, you may go.”

“Thank you, Sir.” The two grabs their things and leave, a class and its teacher watching in worry behind them.

 

He’s taken to completely ignoring mealtimes and just holing up in his room or in the library.

This night is a full moon, the Marauders travel down to the shack as per usual, and as per usual Remus starts getting irritable and antsy, eventually pacing a whole bunch before he’s in too much pain to move.  He’s sort of impressed he hadn’t even noticed the usual discomfort, he supposes he’s been pretty numb lately.

“I hate this.”

“Just think, somewhere nearby Eleenie is going through the exact same thing.” Remus smiles slightly at Peter’s words and nods as much as he can, then he feels the pain shoot down his spine and grimaces, lurching forward.

“Change, now.”

 

“…this stress isn’t good for him, honestly this court date could not have been scheduled worse.”

“He could hardly ask for a day’s postponement on account of Lycanthropy.  Besides, I hardly think _this_ is the worst part of this whole mess Poppy.”  He hears a sigh.

“I know Minerva, it’s just the only thing I can actually help with and be reasonably annoyed at.”

“Well, I feel fairly reasonable in being far more than annoyed at the bastard who hurt my student.”

“Yes, you make a fair point.”

_Everyone hates the man I love because of me._

_Lies._

_Everyone hates the man who made me need him because of him._

_Lies._

_Everyone hates that a man I allowed myself to need hurt me and caused so much pain._

_Truth._

_Everyone is mad at me for not telling them._

_Lies._

_They are mad at themselves for not realising._

_Truth._

_That_ _’_ _s my fault._

_Lies._

_I deserved it all, I_ _’_ _m only causing more pain._

_LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES!_

_I deserve better than this._

_Truth._

_I will get better._

He didn’t need his magic’s confirmation to know that one to be true.

He goes back to sleep.

 

“Remy, come on, it’s time to wake up Mr Lupin,” Remus blinks his eyes open to see Madam Pomfrey hovering over him, “I’m afraid you need to leave soon.  How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” She nods, handing him a potion that he drinks without question.

 

Half an hour later Severus and Lily walk into the room.

“Time to go Remy.”

 

When they make it to the court room, Remus can feel his palms sweating as they take their seats.  What if the jury were homophobic?  This is muggles, not wizards.  He isn’t sure he even remembers much of how Muggles work anymore.

“You’re nervous,” Severus states, Remus looks at him and nods, he takes a deep breath, “I know a very large part of you doesn’t want to do this for a number of different reasons Remus, but this isn’t really about you, not anymore.  My Father was a lot like the boy in question here, if I had spoken up like you are about to, my Mother might still be alive.  I have to live with that every day of my life.  Don’t make the same mistake.”  Remus takes Severus’ hand in his and squeezes.

“We both deserved better than this.” Severus looks at him and nods.

“Yes, we did.”

 

“Mr Lupin, I was under the impression I would be questioning the romantic partner of the defendant,” A lawyer begins, Remus fiddles with his fingers for a moment before he looks up, nervously biting his lip.

“You are.” The lawyer makes a big show of looking around before turning back to Remus.

“I don’t see her anywhere.” Remus doesn’t know what exactly hit him, but suddenly he’s just exasperated.

“Oh, Objection! Your honour he’s being deliberately ignorant,” Remus declares, throwing a hand out to indicate towards the lawyer in question, Remus hears a snicker from the jury.

“Mr Salin, carry on with your questioning _without_ wasting all our time please.” The Lawyer, Salin, nods.

“How long have you and my client been in a…relationship?”

“Since Christmas,” Remus responds, the fight pretty much draining out of him.

“And how much of this time was he supposedly ‘abusing’ you?” Remus flinches at the words, biting his lip and closing his eyes, counting to ten before he opens them again.  He makes the mistake of looking over to where Derek is sat, he’s looking at Remus with a look of anger and betrayal, Remus looks away, instead catching Phia’s eyes, then Severus’, “Mr Lupin?”  Remus looks back to the lawyer and clears his throat.

“I-it was a week after we um got together that he…” Remus trails off awkwardly, fiddling with his hands again as his shoulders hunch inwards.

“That he?”

“He slapped me, split my lip.”

“Did he give any reason for doing this?”

“I um, I was still sort of getting over my last relationship, he didn’t like that I was upset she had broken up with me.  Said I was being disloyal because I was clearly still in love with her.”

“And were you?” Remus frowns.

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

“I’m just trying to find out where you’re coming from Mr Lupin.  Heartbroken from an ex, no doubt things would seem worse from your point of view than they actually were.”

“He hit me, hard, and repeatedly, for months.  I don’t see how my being upset about something entirely unrelated could at all make that okay,” Remus replies rather quietly and clearly upset.

“Did you ever do anything you feel deserved such a punishment?” Remus vaguely hears the Evans’ lawyer calling for an objection, but all he can see now is Derek’s angry face.

 _“_ _You deserve this you whore.  You are nothing without me, how fucking_ dare _you look at anyone else!_ _”_

_“_ _I-I wasn_ _’_ _t, I promise, Derek, please_ _…”_

_“_ _Look at you, you_ _’_ _re pathetic.  I_ _’_ _m doing you a favour by fucking you, you realise that, don_ _’_ _t you?  No one else would ever have you, would they?_ _”_ _He kicks Remus in the stomach, breaking ribs as Remus tries not to sob too hard, it hurts less that way,_ _“_ _Would they?_ _”_ _Remus shakes his head as he turns his face to the ground._

_“_ _No._ _”_

“...emy, Remy, come on, just focus on me, that’s it.” Remus blinks a few times before he recognises his sister in front of him, “Hey, you okay?” Remus shakes his head, “The judge has told the lawyers to make this quick for you, okay?  His is done, we’re up next, it’s nearly over.  Just hold on a bit longer, okay?” Remus nods, Phia kisses his forehead before she squeezes his hand one more time and heads back to her seat.

“Are you ready to continue Mr Lupin?” The judge asks him softly, Remus bites his lip before nodding.

“Remus, please remember to answer these questions to the best of your ability, and honestly.  At any point in your relationship with the defendant, did you feel your life was in danger?” Remus thinks back before he nods, “What happened?” He takes a deep breath before he speaks.

“We were meeting up with a few friends of ours, hanging out in some park late at night.  After the others left D…he was walking me home.  We passed a cat on the way, it had a collar on, said its name’s James.  I mentioned that I have a friend at school by that name, similar hair too.  He got angry, started asking me a bunch of questions about James and our friendship and if we were ever more.  I tried telling him he was being ridiculous but…I guess it wasn’t a good enough answer.  He…” Remus pauses for a moment, looking at his hands and collecting himself before continuing, “He dragged me down an alley and shoved me up against a wall and pulled out a knife.  Said I’d better answer him or he’d make me more mutilated than I already am.” A visible tremor goes through his body as he thinks of that night, he hadn’t even realised he’d closed his eyes until he opens them again.

“Did he cut you with the knife?” Remus nods hesitantly, looking at his lap in shame when he hears his Mother gasp, “Was it deep enough to scar?” Remus hesitates to answer that, on the one hand, it shouldn’t have been, on the other, it had been a silver knife.  On a third and non-functional hand, Remus realises he can’t prove one specific scar was caused by him, and trying to would only bring up more questions about other scars he has.  Remus shakes his head.

“No.”

“Did Mr Slyngyn ever assault you in a sexual nature?” Remus freezes, curling in on himself even further, trying to answer but unable to, instead he tries to stop hyperventilating, it doesn’t really work, “Mr Lupin, yes or no, did he ever sexually assault you?  I _need_ a verbal answer.”  Remus can’t breathe, there’s lead in his chest, pushing down on his lungs, but he has to answer he _has_ to answer.

“Yes,” he says as loudly as he can (It’s not very loud), the lawyer turns to the judge.

“Did you hear him your honour?”

“I did, let the record state that Mr Lupin answered the question in the affirmative.”

“No further questions.” 

 

The rest of the trial passed in a blur to Remus up until he was being lead out of the room and into the hallway.

“The jury’s deliberating,” Severus tells him, he nods, Petunia wraps her arms around him.

“Thank you for doing this.” He sighs, sagging into her hold.

“Thank you for helping me.  I’m so sorry you got hurt.” She leans back, placing a still bruised hand on his face and wiping away tears with her thumb.

“You will never not be worth it, my friend.”  He’ll never be quite sure why, but that simple sentence has him breaking down again, his friends and family crowding around him to hold him and keep him safe.

“Come on, it’s time.” Remus takes one look at the door and shakes his head.

“I can’t go back in there.”

“We’ll wait out here, you lot go in,” Phia tells the rest of them, leading Remus over to a bench, Lily walks over and sits beside them, everyone else goes in.

 

Seven minutes and twelve seconds later, the doors open and everyone comes pouring out, including Derek.

“I’m not done with you, _honey_ ,” Derek hisses at Remus, spitting the last word like a curse.

“Don’t listen to him, we won.  10 Years he’ll be locked up.”  Remus doesn’t turn around but nods, acknowledging Severus’ words.  He feels a hand on his shoulder and finally turns away from Derek’s retreating figure to face his Father.

“Let’s just be glad it’s all over,” Lyall tells his son, a pleading look on his face.  Remus turns back once more and sees Derek look over his shoulder and snarl at him.

“Yeah, over.” Everyone hears the silent ‘for now’.

 

 

 

**SAFE-SUMMARY:**

So, Derek has been arrested and is in gaol for ten years (Did a bunch of googling, this is a reasonable sentence for his crimes).  Petunia is no longer being homophobic.  Lucius discovered Remus’ mild drinking problem.  Remus and Binns argued (No surprise there) but it wasn’t really that important.  Remus got drunk again, James decided if he binges like that one more time he’s telling a teacher.  Lucius noticed something wrong with Bellatrix.  The Evans’ had a family moment including Severus.  Some stuff happened with Moony, I’m going to put a non-triggering quoted part of the chapter below…

 

“So Moony remembers Remus’ life now?” James asks.

“Seems like,” Severus replies

“I don’t think so,” Peter says, Sirius, James, and Severus look at him in confusion, “Remy says they aren’t two minds in one, they’re one mind in two.”

“What does that even mean?” James asks, Peter shrugs.

“I didn’t really understand what he was talking about but, I think it’s less Moony is a different person and more he is Remus on a different setting.  Like if you look through those coloured glasses Lily has the world looks a different colour than normal, but it’s still the same world.”

“So Moony is Remus through a different filter?” James asks slowly, Peter nods.

“We’ll discuss this later okay, Moony, can Remus come back?” Sirius asks the wolf who whimpers, “Remus has to go to school, please Moony, trust me.”

“Trust Siri?” Sirius nods, Moony nods, “I trust Siri.”  This was the first time Moony had ever used the term ‘I’ instead of his name.  Then the wildness and innocence faded from his eyes, he blinks several times.

 

And that’s everything important from this chapter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, that all happened. Still can’t believe I wrote it…anyways.  
> Chapters 41 onward are getting re-vamped and some almost completely re-written, so updating may possibly be stalled later if I don’t do it quick enough, but I don’t think it will come to that.  
> Anyways, hope everyone enjoyed, or, well, maybe not enjoyed perse but…well you get the picture. I hope this wasn’t a completely terrible chapter, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore mmkay byeeeeee.


	24. Huff and Puff with Hufflepuffs

Chapter 24

**_Disclaimer -  I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK, ARE YOU INTOXICATED?!” Regulus Black flinches at his Mother’s yelling, burying his face in his mattress and pulling the pillow over his head down tighter – though he knows nothing will block out the noise.  Nothing ever does.

“WELP, I WOULD CALL IT HIGH BUT…YEAH!” This was followed by a giggle that makes Regulus cringe in anticipation. 

Summer holidays are always bad in the Black household, but Sirius is hardly helping matters this time.  He hears the sound of flesh meeting flesh from the other side of the house and feels a wetness growing underneath his face from his tears.

 _A Black never cries_. He thinks to himself. _Maybe I just shouldn_ _’_ _t be a Black then_.

 _I wish I weren_ _’_ _t a Black_.

 

 _Something is very very wrong here._ The phrase had been repeating itself in Lucius Malfoy’s head since he arrived in the home of Druella and Cygnus Black earlier in the morning.  Normally they wouldn’t celebrate Easter, Muggle as it is, but after the events leading to the disownment of their eldest daughter, the Blacks were taking every possible chance to get the family and other families together.  Show off their standing and remind everyone that nothing has changed.  Yet something had, and that something was Bellatrix.

Lucius has never been overly fond of the youngest Black daughter, he, like everyone else, had thought her insane.  Then she met one Remus Lupin, and slowly but surely, everyone came to see the truth behind the mask.  Everyone, that is, except her parents.  Everything had been going fine, they’d been together two and a half years, and as far as Lucius knows, her parents even didn’t want him dead!  Until she ended things with him rather harshly.  Some change in behaviour after such an event is expected, but what is happening before him is not a change in behaviour, it is a complete 180 in personality.  For before him, Bellatrix Black was going through the motions of being introduced to Rodolphus Lestrange’s parents as his chosen.

 _Something is very very wrong here._ Lucius knows it in his bones, in his soul, with every fibre of his being, _something is wrong_.  There is only one other thing he can really be sure of in this situation.

And that is his need to find out what.

 

“Right, you got everything you need?”

“Yes Mum.”

“Toothbrush?”

“Yes.”

“Socks?”

“Yes.”

“Did you pack enough underwear?”

“Mum!”

“I’m only asking!”

“Even if, by some miracle, I _had_ forgotten something, it’s too late to go back anyway!”

“…but you _did_ pack enough, yes?”

“*sigh* Yes Mum.”

Remus Lupin tries to ignore his sniggering friends, he really does, but honestly he is a step away from punching someone and it sure as hell won’t be his Mother.  He flinches slightly as he realises what he thought, too many memories falling through his brain.

_Is this how he felt? Am I just like him?_

“Remus?” He blinks and looks up at his Mother’s worried expression and smiles tightly.

“I’ll be fine Mum, really.”  Hope smiles back at him and nods, kissing his forehead.

“Be safe my Son.” Remus smiles more genuinely and nods.

“I will be.  I have my friends at my side, what could possibly go wrong?”

“Famous last words,” Lyall comments, Remus chuckles, “Good bye Remus, enjoy the year.”

“I will, try and make sure Mum doesn’t fret too much.”  Hope makes an indignant noise as Lyall laughs and ruffles his hair.

“Sure, your sister however…” Remus looks over at Phia who is looking dejectedly at the floor and biting her lip, James’ arm around her shoulders.

“Hey, Sophia.” Phia’s eyes snap up at him in an icy glare.

“I know all your damn secrets Remus Lupin, watch it.” He grins at her, opening his arms, she hugs him tightly.

“I’ll see you in Hogsmeade, right?” She nods into his shoulder, “Everything’s going to be better this year, I can feel it.”

“I believe you.  I love you Rem.”

“I love you too Phia.”  They hear a commotion and all look round to see Sirius Black storming over, Regulus jogging to keep up and apologising to the people his brother is shoving past on the way.

“Better, huh?” Remus grimaces at his sister’s words but doesn’t look away from his friend.

“I swear to Merlin, I will straight up _leave_ one day.”

“Siri, I know your upset but if you’d just stop fighting them…”

“Oh so it’s my fault?!”

“I didn’t say that and you know it!  But you aren’t exactly helping yourself and you sure as hell aren’t helping me!”  Sirius’ posture slumps as he looks at his brother.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“I know Sirius, I know.” Regulus sighs as he finally regards the group before him, looking over Remus for the longest time before nodding to himself, “We should probably get on the train.” 

Everyone says their good byes before the students bound for Hogwarts finally get on the train and grab their seats, except Lucius Malfoy is standing around outside their usual cabin.

“Lucius?” Remus asks, Lucius looks up, a more troubled expression on his face than any of them have ever seen until he schools it and his usual cool look returns.

“Remy, nice to see you again, I trust your holidays were pleasant?” Remus nods.

“Yours?” Lucius’ slight smile falters slightly before growing even more forced.

“Quite.  Severus, I was hoping I could speak with you privately for a moment.” Severus seems surprised and looks briefly to James who looks to Remus, Remus nods to him so he gestures Severus forward, Severus then turns to Lucius and nods.  Lucius looks vaguely amused at the interaction until Severus agrees and his mind evidently returns to the matter he wishes to discuss.  The others enter their cabin as Lucius pulls Severus over to a corner of a corridor and starts whispering furiously.

“Any idea what that’s about?” Regulus asks as he looks out through the window in the door, Remus shrugs.

“None, last I knew Lucius was not looking forward to some luncheon his family was attending but was otherwise fine.”  The others look to him in confusion, “What? Lucius hates those things, their boring and leave no room for creativity.”

“Lucius Malfoy is creative?” Remus nods.

“You should see his drawings.”  At that moment they hear Lucius raising his voice.

“THAT’S NOT TRUE!”

“SINCE WHEN DO YOU CARE EITHER WAY?!” Severus shouts back, Lucius glances around for a moment before stepping in closer and whispering again, whatever he says gives Severus pause.  Severus looks over at the cabin and regards them all one by one before turning back to Lucius and nods to him.  Whatever he agreed to seems to make Lucius relieved, his body visibly draining of tension.  Severus walks over to the door and opens it slightly, “I’m going to the Slytherin carriage, I’ll see you all later.” The others are confused but nod, Severus nods and leaves, gesturing for Lucius to lead the way.

“No Potter.” James looks away from the door and to Remus, confused.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.  Whatever is going on, Severus will tell you if you need to know.  Otherwise stay out of it.”  James pouts but doesn’t deny he’d intended to sneak about and find answers.

 

Sirius disappears after the welcome back dinner leaving the Marauders awake and fretting, Severus sitting in his bed in their dorm reading and internally fretting.

“Everyone okay?” Sirius asks when he finally returns, they all glare save for Severus who looks over him, determines he’s okay, and then says goodnight and goes back to the Slytherin common room.

“Why’s he leaving?” Peter asks, James rolls his eyes.

“Really Pete?  That’s what you’re asking?  Sirius where the hell have you been!?” Peter sighs quietly, Remus squeezes his shoulder and mouths ‘later’, Peter smiles gratefully and nods.

“Hanging out with some people, I _do_ have friends ‘sides you lot you know.”  Remus sighs suddenly.

“You could have at least _tried_ to disguise the smell you know.” Sirius seems shocked and sniffs at himself, “You literally live with a Werewolf you idiot!”

“Oh…right…damn.” Sirius smiles sheepishly, Remus shakes his head.

“Really Sirius?  Drugs?”

“Oh, it’s weed Moony, relax.  Not like I’m going on a bender and showing up to class drunk.” James’ eyes widen at Sirius, Peter tensing up behind Remus who raises an eyebrow.  A second later Sirius slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes widening as he realises what he said.

“Go to bed Sirius, we’ll talk in the morning.”  With that he shuts himself into his fourposter and puts up two-way silencing charms and curls in on himself, laying and staring blankly, wishing he’d cry but the tears won’t come.  Instead he’s too numb to even really think, so he stares, and he keeps staring.

 

The next morning Sirius tries to apologise to Remus as soon as both are awake, Remus accepts the apology, but Sirius can tell it’s superficial at best.

“Just leave it Mate,” Peter suggests after Remus heads down to the common room and Sirius makes to go after him, Sirius turns and glares.

“No, I have to make this right!”

“Sirius, he needs to sort it out in his own head before he can sort it out with you.  Let him make peace with what you said on his own and everything will be fine, you won’t even need to apologise.” Sirius’ glare intensifies.

“Don’t apologise?  What kind of friend are you?” Peter tries to deal with Sirius as he usually does, accept the insult and continue on, but it’s not as easy as it used to be.  Especially when keeping quiet means Remus will be upset again.

“Padfoot, listen –”

“Padfoot?” James interjects curiously, Peter shrugs.

“Remus came up with it after he woke up with your paw on his face.”

“Why didn’t he tell _me_ about it?” Sirius asks with a frown, Peter sighs.

“You weren’t there when it came up, _anyway_ , when has Moony ever appreciated someone bothering him about something repeatedly instead of letting him work things out on his own?”

“Work things out on his own?  You mean like he did with Derek?!” Peter feels his anger rising, but knows it won’t help and shoves it to the side.

“I’m just suggesting you treat him normally and wait for him to bring it up, if he ever does.” Peter decides it’s time he leaves the room too and does so.

“What would you know about what Moony needs?” Sirius sneers as Peter opens the door, then Peter does something no one has ever seen him do.  He loses his fucking shit.

“What would _I_ know?” He asks, voice far too controlled, as he turns around, Sirius actually gulps at the look on his face, “What would _you_ know?  When was the last time you paid _any_ attention to him?  Had a conversation with him?  Learnt something new about him?  Tell me Sirius, oh wise Remus expert, what’s his favourite colour?” Sirius looks around awkwardly, “No? Favourite animal?  Lucky number?  Favourite book?”  Sirius glares.

“Oh, and you know, do you?!”

“It used to be red until he was four and was bitten, ever since then the colour has reminded him of blood and he’s hated it.  His favourite colour now is green because it reminds him of his Mother’s eyes and makes him feel safe.  His favourite animal is a giraffe because he was a short kid and always envied their height.  His lucky number is three because that’s how old he was when his little brother was born and he counts that as the best thing to ever happen to him and his favourite book is and has always been Peter Pan because all he has ever wanted is to be free.”

“Remus doesn’t _have_ a little brother,” Sirius can’t help but point out, Peter glares at him.

“No, he doesn’t, not anymore.  I don’t suggest you bring it up with him.”

“How do you know all this, are you writing a fucking book?”

“No Black, I JUST FUCKING PAY ATTENTION, tell me, what do you _do_ when you two hang out?  Play pranks, get him to help you with your homework, sometimes you two play Quidditch and he watches from the stands.  Well, he hates Quidditch, and while he does enjoy pranks he prefers spending his time on other things.  And he dislikes spending all his time doing homework as everyone else does.  Tell me, what _does_ he like doing?  Do _either of you_ know what he likes doing?”  Sirius and James exchange awkward looks, “Do you really think he just reads text books constantly?”

“Um…”

“Do you know anything about the boy you’ve both been friends with for four years?  Or have you really been so busy talking about yourselves that you never thought to ask him a single question to get to know him.”

“Your questions didn’t seem to help him last year.” Peter punches Sirius in the face, James pushes him away before either of them can start swinging again.

“Sirius, you make one more crack about Derek and I will tell McGonagall,” James tells him while simultaneously putting himself between Peter and Sirius. 

“I don’t understand how you can claim to love someone you know next to nothing about,” Peter says quietly to Sirius who looks positively heartbroken.  Peter sighs, rubbing his face with his hands, “Look just, try to get to know him now.  Never too late, right Mates?” James nods enthusiastically.

“Right, we’ll just casually bring up some questions in conversation and we’ll see where it goes.  That’s how people get to know each other anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go get to know our Moony,” Sirius agrees, then he looks to Peter and nods to himself, “And our Wormtail.” Peter smiles slightly and nods, they all leave to the Great Hall.

 

“What the hell happened to your face?!  Are you okay?  You have to go to see Madam Pomfrey…” Remus starts saying as soon as the three enter, Sirius sighs and sits down across from him, James by his side and Peter by Remus’ side.

“I’m fine Moony, just had some sense knocked into me, literally,” He says with a side glare to Peter who continues eating innocently.

“Oooookaaaayyy.”

“So, Remus.  We were talking about reading some more but let’s be honest, we know nothing about books.  Any recommendations?  What’s your favourite?” Remus regards them both suspiciously.

“You three were discussing reading?  The last time I tried to recommend a book to Peter he threw it out a window.”

“Nuh uh, this is them, I stand by that.  Also, damn good throw wasn’t it?”

“Oh yeah, I was impressed.  I doubt even Marlene could have thrown the book that far.”

“Well, I promise, no throwing of books,” James swears, Remus shrugs.

“You probably wouldn’t like the books I read.  Lily’s probably more your style.  The books she reads, I mean,” He says with a mischievous grin, James and Sirius exchange frustrated looks, Peter snorts not his food, earning two glares.

“So um, nice weather, right?” Remus shrugs.

“I suppose, I generally prefer winter.” James and Sirius’ eyes light up at the new information making Peter shake his head in exasperation at them.

“Oh, how come?” Sirius asks, attempting to sound nonchalant, Remus narrows his eyes at them, wary of their sudden questions.

“Why are you two being weird?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re taking a weird interest in my answers to questions you wouldn’t normally ask.”

“C’mon Rem, we asked like two questions, that’s hardly an interrogation.”

“Who said anything about an interrogation?”

“Uhhh…” Peter clears his throat.

“So did you get the new guitar you wanted?” Remus turns to his friend and nods excitedly.

“Yeah, I had to get Dad to shrink it to get it and the speaker here.  I’ll have to fiddle with it to make the power work but, it’ll be _so_ worth it.”

“Certainly a step up from the old one.  Not that I don’t love your acoustic, but what you’re writing lately needs a bit more…oomph.” Remus nods his agreement.

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting an electric one since Mary played _We_ _Will Rock You_ so, it’s going to be amazing.” When he looks away, Peter turns back to Sirius and James, nodding for them to take the opening.

“Didn’t know you play guitar…” James begins awkwardly, unsure how to ask a question without it being weird like before, Remus looks up again, frowning in surprise.

“Oh…well I suppose I only ever really bring it out when you two are out doing your own thing.”

“How come?” Remus shrugs at Sirius.

“We’re busy when you guys are around I guess, stuff to do.”

“Right…well, you know, we’d love to hear you play sometime.” Peter makes a halting look at James, flicking his hand in a back off sort of motion, “You know, if you want that is…” Peter cringes so Sirius steps in again.

“How long have you played?” Remus looks up from his food again and scrunches his nose in thought making Sirius look at him in adoration until James elbows him.

“Eight years.”

“Wow…that is…a _long_ time!” Peter straight up face palms before he turns to Remus awkwardly.

“It was Nate who got you into it, right?”

“Yeah,” Remus replies, Peter looks pointedly at James again who clears his throat.

“Who’s Nate?”

“A friend of mine from Australia.  He’s a wizard too, we met while I was living in Adelaide but we’ve kept in touch since.  Anyway, he started teaching me to play while I was over there.”

“Oh cool, hey what’s it like over there? I’ve never been.”

“Depends on the day, honestly the weather changes so drastically so quickly I never quite got the hang of knowing how to dress.  Beautiful place if not the most exciting.”

“Cool cool cool co-cool cool cool.” Remus raises an eyebrow at James, Sirius glares at him, Peter facepalms again.  Remus turns to Peter, looking quite bemused.

“Do I want to know what’s really going on here?” Peter shakes his head slowly, Remus chuckles and goes back to eating his food.

“How come that never works for us?!” Sirius asks Remus who gives him a deadpanned look.

“Because I know you both well enough to know that when you do that it means I had best find out exactly what is happening for the safety of the school.”

“Hey Remus, what are our favourite colours?” Sirius asks with a suddenly, well, serious, expression.

“James’ are red and gold like the true patriot he is, yours is debatable.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what colour you like most depends on your mood, there isn’t a colour that you just _always_ love.  So when someone asks you say white just for the irony.  Why are you asking about your own favourite colours?”

“You know everything about us Moony, I want to know everything about you too.”  James clears his throat, Sirius blushes furiously, “We both do, coz, you know, we’re such good mates and mates should know stuff about the other and I mean four years and two days is a long time to know each other so…so yeah…um…James?” Sirius sees the girls trying to hide their laughter and glares at them.  Remus sees them laughing as well and frowns, looking between them and the two boys behaving strangely.

“Why are you laughing?  What’s happening?”

“Um…nothing Remy,” Marlene promises, Remus’ frown deepens, he turns and looks questioningly at Sirius who blushes, James suddenly finds the enchanted ceiling interesting and Peter is by no means about to answer his question.  Remus turns back to his food dejectedly.

“I-um, Remy, really, nothing’s going on.”

“It’s fine, Padfoot,” Remus tells him though his voice tells a different story, the others exchange looks as Sirius looks crestfallen.

“Hey, how come Wormtail and Padfoot have a nickname but I don’t?”

“Oh you do, he just doesn’t use it when you’re around,” Mary replies, this startles a laugh out of Remus.

“Whaaaaat are you talking about?”

“We used to call you Peacock Potter.”

“Why?”

“Because of how you behaved any time _anyone_ was around, now it’s just when a certain person is around.”

“Certain two people actually, either of them walk by and the tail feathers are out,” Marlene tells him, the girls and Remus chuckling, James looks annoyed.

“I don’t have tail feathers!  If anything, I have…um…what are those things on heads?” James asks, making antlers with his hands and looking like an idiot, “You know the prongs…”  He says, wiggling his fingers.

“…antlers?” Peter asks him, James snaps a finger in his direction and nods.

“Well, you have a nickname now you idiot,” Sirius says as he laughs at his friend, “Welcome aboard the nicknamed Marauder train…Prongs.”

“I’m sorry, funny as him forgetting the word is, can we just address the fact that Potter thinks he has antlers?”

“Wait, look,” James tells them, they all look in the direction he’s looking in and find Lucius and Severus conversing hurriedly, “Something is definitely going on.”

“Are you two still together?” James turns quickly to Frank with wide eyes.

“W-What?”

“Well, you two were together in second year, right?  I never heard anything about you two breaking up, but then again Sev lost his damn mind for a while and no one was really sure if you got back together after he stopped trying to kill us or not.”

“I…uh…have to go.” He books it out of there, Severus sees him leaving quickly and frowns, immediately ending his conversation with Lucius and going after him.

“I honestly don’t know whether to take that as a yes or a no,” Frank tells the others, Remus shakes his head with a laugh.

“Fuck knows.”

“The problem is they are both head over heels in love with someone else, the same someone else.  So whether or not they have feelings for each other…well I doubt _they_ can tell,” Peter tells him, he snorts with laughter.

“And who’s the poor bastard they’re both in love with?”

“Yeah, who?” Lily asks bewildered, Remus shrugs, pretending to have no idea.

“We don’t know, they won’t say.”

“Then how do you know?”

“We’ve only been living together for four years.  Sort of hard to keep feelings like that hidden in a tiny dorm.”

“Disa-fucking-gree,” Sirius mutters angrily as he stabs his oatmeal with more force than necessary, Remus looks worried, leaning across the table and putting a hand on his.

“Are you okay Padfoot?  For real…”  Sirius forces a smile on his face and nods.

“I’m all good.”

“For serious?”

“…well yes, I suppose I’m pretty good for myself.” Remus rolls his eyes at him.

 

They head to Defence after breakfast, finding James and Severus already there and talking to Eleenie, looks of disbelief on their faces.

“Dude…” James says to Remus as soon as he enters the room, Remus literally drops to the ground laughing.

“You just found out?!” He wheezes out.

“Found what out?” Lily asks, Eleenie looks to Remus and raises an eyebrow, he looks around the room before nodding to her.  Everyone in the room would be fine, she shimmies her shoulder out of her shirt and shows them all the bite mark, “Oh that, yeah I’ve known about that for a while.”

“How long?” Peter asks with narrowed eyes, she shrugs.

“Her second month here?”

“YES!” Peter calls, fist-bumping the air, Remus gets up, they all take their seats as they discuss it all.

Eventually the rest of the class shows up and the lesson begins.

“All right class, welcome to your fifth year, congratulations for making it so far!  Now, this year we’re going to learn about Boggarts.  Can anyone tell me what a Boggart is?”  Remus puts his hand up, Sirius high fives it and then looks horrified.

“OH GOD I’M IN THE WRONG SEAT, MY WORST FEAR HAS BEEN REALISED! MOONY, QUICK, SWITCH SEATS WITH ME, PLEEEAAASEEEEE!” Sirius screams, dropping to his knees to beg Remus who just blinks at his melodramatic friend for a moment before he gets up and allows Sirius to have the seat beside Lily.

“Well, interestingly, Sirius just answered the question…ish. Remy, if you would.”

“A Boggart is a creature that takes the form of your worst fear.”

“Five points to Gryffindor for both Remy and Sirius.  Now, who knows how you defeat a Boggart?” Severus raises his hands, Eleenie nods for him to speak.

“Picture the funniest thing you can to happen to it and then cast ‘riddikulus.’”

“Excellent work Sev, ten points to Slytherin.”

“How come he got ten points and they only got five each?” James complains.

“Because, Sirius threw a fit and Remus was given a hint.  Besides, knowledge of the creature will not necessarily help you should you be faced with one of these.  One must be prepared to face a Boggart, after all, you will literally have to face down your worst fear and laugh.”  Suddenly, the class looks far more nervous, “All right, everyone, repeat the spell after me.  Riddikulus.”

“Riddikulus.”

“Again, Riddikulus.”

“Riddikulus.”

“Good work, now.  Who’s ready to meet the Boggart?” She asks as she pats a cupboard beside her, no one volunteers.

“Suddenly Black and Potter know fear,” Avery comments from the back, Remus rolls his eyes, especially when James turns to speak to the boy.

“Hey, I don’t see you volun– Sirius what are you doing?” The class turns around to see Sirius walking up to the cupboard and opening it, quickly stepping back.

“You idiot boy!  Disgrace to our family, YOU BRING SHAME UPON US ALL!”

“RIDDIKULUS!” Sirius shouts at the Boggart version of his mother, suddenly it’s his mother but dressed in a Muggle Christmas jumper and pants, reindeer antlers on her head and a red nose painted on, for some reason wearing skates as well and failing to stay steady.  Sirius starts laughing at it, most of the class does too, “Hey Prongs, in case you’ve forgotten again, those are called antlers.”

“Oh shut up Padfoot, get out the road, I want to try this.” Sirius puts his hands up in surrender and steps away, James stands in front of the boggart and waits for it to change shape.  After a moment he turns to look at Eleenie, “Do you have to do something to start it off or…” he turns back to it, in Walburga’s place is an Ice Warrior (Dr Who, 1967 version), James gulps, “So…o-out of um curiosity, what do you do if youcan’thtinkofanythingfunnyitcouldpossiblydo?!”

“You’re screwed,” Eleenie replies, James narrows his eyes at her as he shouts Riddikulus at the Boggart which takes a sassy pose despite still being an ice warrior.

“You’re like, so screwed.” It mocks, the class laughs as James sheepishly walks back to his seat, Eleenie chuckles and shakes her head.

“Right, everyone else form a line, oh and, ten points for each of you.  Five points to everyone who gets it right from now.”

Most of the class goes through without a problem, Lily defeats her clown, Marlene the dark forest.  The next from their group to stand in front of it is Severus who takes a deep breath before stepping forward.  It transforms into a man none of them had seen before, he glowers at Severus who freezes.  Lily gasps as she recognises who it is, Remus puts it together easily.  The man takes a step towards Severus who appears to be having issues breathing and drops his wand, Remus pushes him back and steps in front of the Boggart who turns into Derek Slyngyn.

“You worthless whore, you are nothing, do you hear me, NOTHING!” It shouts at Remus who stands tall over the still panicking Severus and desperately tries to think of something funny to do.  Then the Boggart rushes at him, he panics and throws his hands up in front of him, the Boggart freezes where it is.  Remus lowers his hands after a few moments, the Boggart just stares at him blankly.

“…what are you doing?” Eleenie asks Remus who stares at the creature with wide eyes.

“I’ve no idea, but the sooner it stops looking like that the better,” At his words the Boggart turns into some kind of block of white with whispery edges.

“Oh fuck,” Eleenie comments, walking closer to the Boggart, “Do you know what you’ve done?”

“No.”

“It’s reverted back to its own form.  No one has ever seen it before.”  Remus looks down at his hand, feeling some kind of magic still flowing through it but unable to identify what.

“Your eyes are glowing yellow.”  Remus looks at Severus in surprise, a hand going up to his face.

“Okay, I think that’s it for today folks, class dismissed.  Remus, Severus, stay behind.”  Everyone else leaves the room, Eleenie tries to return the Boggart to its cupboard, but it doesn’t work, “You need to stop doing whatever you’re doing.”  Remus halts the flow of magic, the Boggart shifts into Fenrir Greyback, Eleenie forces it back into the cupboard.

“He’s your Boggart?” Eleenie looks twitchy but nods.

“Who is he?” Severus asks cautiously.

“Greyback.”

“The Werewolf that bit you?  Both of you?” They both nod, “Right, okay, um, Remy, thanks.  Fo-For what you did back there.”

“Of course Sev.  Just remind me to never step in front of a fucking Boggart again.”

“Remus, whatever it is you did just then, should you ever work out what, don’t tell anyone.  Not even me.”  Remus looks at her, frightened, but nods, she nods too, “All right, you may both go.”  They leave quickly.

 

“Ugh, new timetable,” Sirius complains when he can’t remember where they are meant to be heading, “Moooonyyyyy.”

“Potions.”

“Thank you!”  They all head down to the dungeons.

“I’m going to blow something up,” Remus says suddenly, Mary regards him from the corner of her eye.

“Is that a decision you’ve made, or do you just feel like it’s going to happen.”

“It’s a decision.  I want an explosion, a big one.”

“So I’m working on the other side of the class from him, anyone else?”

“Well fine, be that way.  But it’s not my potion I’m blowing up.”

 

Twenty minutes later they’re being lead out of the potions lab.

“No one breathe the smoke in, it’s fatally toxic,” Slughorn tells them all, Lily magically filters the toxins out of the air, “Ah, yes, good work Miss Evans.  Mr Avery, perhaps you should look at some simpler potions, build your skills up.”

 

They spend their break laughing about what happened before heading to Transfiguration.

“All right, today we have a new project to begin.  I do not expect anyone to finish it today, however it should be completed by the end of term.  You are all to perform a simple ageing charm on an animal.  Technically this should come under your charms lessons but…well, let’s get on with this, shall we?”

“Sounds like she lost that argument,” Peter says to Remus who sniggers.

“Something to share with the class Mr Lupin?”

“Actually, Professor, I was the one talking.  Sorry Professor McGonagall,” Peter tells her honestly, she nods.

“Do not let it happen again.”  Sirius and James exchange annoyed looks, if that had been them they’d have lost points each!

A few minutes of instruction later, they’re all attempting to cast the aging charm on their animals.

“Why won’t you just tell me?” James says with a suddenly normal volume as opposed to the whisper he had been speaking in.

“Because it’s none of your business!”

“If it is causing you distress then yes, it is.”

“Are you under the impression that I need a knight in shining armour Potter?  Because I don’t!”

“I didn’t mean it like that Severus.”  The two of them continue attempting to cast the spell as they argue, McGonagall comes over to chastise them.

“Boys, this is volatile magic, you must be more care…” James waves his wand wildly as he says something to Severus whose wand’s stream of magic crosses with James’ and there’s a flash, they hear several crashes and everyone is thrown away, table and chairs as well.

“Remus?!” Sirius immediately calls.

“Here. Sound off.”

“Wormtail.”

“Prongs.”

“Padfoot.”

“Moony.” James gets up, brushing himself off.

“Sev?  Lily?”

“I’m good.”

“Me too, no thanks to you.”

“Oh this is _my_ fault?!”

“Will you both shut it! Where’s McGonagall?”  Lily casts a ventilation charm again and rids the room of the mist that had filled it.

“Professor!” Remus calls, running over to the crumpled body on the other side of the room, as soon as he sees her face he jumps back slightly, eyes widening, “SOMEONE GET DUMBLEDORE TO MEET US AT THE HOSPITAL, NOW!” Remus shouts as he scoops McGonagall up and sprints out of the room.  He sees the staircase and decides it would take too long, trusting his instincts as he launches himself over the railing.

“REMY!” He hears Marlene screech, but he’s not falling, he’s flying!  He ignores that thought as he checks on his load.  Finding his favourite teacher still unconscious, he pushes himself forwards, flying through the students in the halls easily, quickly reaching the hospital.

“MADAM POMFREY!” Remus yells, flying McGonagall over to the closest bed, Pomfrey comes running out just before he reaches it, eyes widening at Remus floating through the air, “There was an accident in Transfiguration, we were trying to cast an aging spell and Severus and James were arguing and then there was some kind of light explosion or something and I found her like this.”

“Who is this Mr Lupin?” Remus meets her eyes frantically.

“Minerva McGonagall.”  Poppy’s eyes widen as they both look down to the face of one of the most respected witches of the century.  Only the face is different now, because lying in the bed is a teenager.

“Minerva’s been de-aged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a day late, yesterday grew very unpredictable very quickly. I only just managed to update my other fic, and the only reason I did that and not this is because that one is largely unedited and the chapter is one like 1,000 words long. As opposed to reading through the 5,000 words in this one for a final edit.
> 
> Anyways, everything is back on track, I hope this story is being as loved as I am loving it. Though it’s giving a constant headache at the moment but that’s because I keep accidentally screwing myself over with the chapters I’m writing right now. Anyways. Enjoy?


	25. Little Red Riding Hood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter ☹, I do not own the song Little Red Riding Hood. I don’t know who does, however the version I’ve been listening to is by Amanda Seyfried. I also do not own the song Lucky.

Remus sits beside his most-loved Professor’s hospital bed, ignoring the voices behind him.  He knows Severus, James, and Poppy are explaining what’s happened, he’s not needed though.  Not needed anywhere but here.  He sees a twitch, looking up he sees McGonagall blinking her eyes open.

“She’s awake!” He calls behind him as he pulls his chair closer, McGonagall frowns.

“Who are you?”  Remus bites his lip.

“Remus Lupin,” He replies, holding out a hand for her to shake, she raises an eyebrow at it before accepting the handshake awkwardly.

“Minnie McGonagall.”

“You don’t go by Minerva?” Minnie scrunches her nose up.

“Minerva is a positively _dreadful_ name, Minnie is far more…expressive.” Remus chuckles a bit at this.

“People call me Remy.” She smiles at him, the smile lighting up her entire face.

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance Remy.”

“And yours Minnie.  Tell me, do you know where you are?” She looks around and nods, elegant brown curls bouncing as she does.

“The hospital wing in Hogwarts, only I do not believe I have ever seen you around school before.”

“No, you wouldn’t have.” Remus looks to the side, seeing Dumbledore, Dumbledore simply gestures for him to continue, he turns back awkwardly and inwardly cursing the old man, “Minnie, there was an accident in my transfiguration class.  We were working on an aging spell but, some students got it wrong, we de-aged our Professor instead.”

“That is horrible!  Will he be all right?” He smiles slightly, impulsively taking her hand as he continues speaking, she pays extra attention to him now.

“Minnie, _you_ are our Professor.  You’ve been de-aged to…we’re guessing fifteen?” Her eyes widen, she looks around in shock, no doubt taking in the differences in the room.

“This is completely and absolutely ridiculous and convoluted and not at all funny Remy!”

“No one is laughing.” Minnie looks at him, distressed, before turning to Dumbledore who simply nods gravely.

“S-So how old _should_ I be then?” She asks, still sounding disbelieving, he supposes were he in her position, he would be too.  She looks down at herself, fiddling with her robe for a moment before looking back to him.

“I don’t know how old you should be, but it’s 1975.”  Her eyes widen significantly.

“I do not know how to deal with this.”

“Well, physically you’re in perfect health.  Perhaps getting some rest is a good idea though,” Pomfrey tells her, she nods dazedly and lays back down.  Poppy looks at the others pointedly, they all start moving out, but a hand on his arm stops Remus.

“Stay? I-I do not want to forget where I am when I wake up.”  He nods, retaking his seat.

 

“Remy!” Remus jerks awake, looking around wildly before his eyes come into focus, immediately taking in the girl sitting before him, “Are you all right?  I think you were having a nightmare…”

“Um…Minnie, right, the spell.  Yes, yes I am fine, thanks.” Minnie nods though she looks unconvinced, he waves his hand through the air, “Tempus.”  The time appears in the air for a moment, 20:08, before it disappears again.

“You can do wandless magic?” Minnie asks, awe in her eyes, he grins and nods.

“Didn’t have much choice but to learn.  One of my mates thought it’d be funny to turn my wand into a cinnamon stick.  Still haven’t managed to turn it back.”

“Why do they not help you?”

“I won’t let them, took up the challenge, too stubborn to give in now.  It’s been three years, it’s fine.” She laughs at him, he laughs too.

“This is so surreal, I am, for all intents and purposes, sitting in the future.  _So_ far into the future I have never even attempted to imagine it.”

“Did you just call yourself old?”

“Oh, I-I think I did.” They both laugh again, his rough, uncertain is he if it’s from disuse or overuse, hers angelic and gentle. Madam Pomfrey walks over to them, glad to hear them both laughing.

“Mr Lupin, I’m afraid you need to leave now.  You can return tomorrow, under the circumstances I can write you a note excusing you from classes.”  She smiles at Minnie’s obvious relief.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Minnie,” He tells her, patting her hand gently, she takes a breath and nods.

“Tomorrow then.” He nods.

“Tomorrow.”

 

“Hey, how is she, is she okay, OH MY GOD DID WE KILL HER?!” James runs at him as soon as he enters the common room, yelling in his face.  Remus puts his hands up defensively, James sees it coming and ducks before the accidental spell hits him, instead making a hole in the wall behind him, “Sorry Moony, are you okay?”

“I, uh…yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Remus promises as he takes a few deep breaths, cursing how jumpy and over reactive he’s been since…well…anyway.  Now used to this, James gives him a few moments to calm down, knowing he’ll pick up the conversation when he’s ready.  Sure enough, a minute later, he answers his queries, “No, you did not kill her.  She’s okay, still confused and I’m not sure she fully believes us yet but, I doubt I would in her position.  Madam Pomfrey’s letting me stay with her tomorrow, I think I make her more comfortable because I was the one to first speak with her and explain everything.  How’d things go on your end?”

“Flitwick’s looking into what happened, though he and Slughorn think the antidote may end up potion related.  Still no one is quite sure what we did, Dumbledore’s informing the Minister of what’s happened, discussing what to do with her in the meantime.”

“How’s Sev?”  Remus asks, trying to ignore the ‘what to do with her’, James sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Moping, not talking to me, just generally freaking out.” Remus nods solemnly.

“I’ll see if I can get them to talk tomorrow, just so that he can see she’s all right, if a little…shorter.”

“Thanks.”

 

The next morning Remus wakes up and immediately gets ready and rushes down to the hospital. _Why do I feel so responsible for her?  She_ _’_ _s Minerva McGonagall, regardless of her age she can bloody well take care of herself!  I wasn_ _’_ _t even the one who de-aged her!_ He thinks to himself as he paces in front of the hospital doors, _But I am the one who found her, the one who ran_ _…_ _or_ _…_ _flew her here, that made her recovery my responsibility, after all I started it, right?_ He sighs, _Maybe I just want to help someone else since I very obviously can_ _’_ _t help myself.  But I don_ _’_ _t want to use this poor girl as a distraction from my own problems, but she wants me with her, I make her feel more secure.  Does it matter why I was there to begin with?  It_ _’_ _s my duty to stick around now, right?_ He sighs again and shakes his head, pushing the doors open and walking in.

As he walks in, he takes in her appearance, something he hadn’t really found the time to do the day before.

She has chocolate brown hair that cascades in waves down her back, the front parts twirled back into a knot at the back of her head to prevent it falling in her face, or maybe she just thinks it looks pretty.  She has freckles across her nose, but seems to have taken off the slight make-up she’d been wearing yesterday.  He’s never really understood make-up, it seems rather impractical to him.  Then again, in his experience, girls could be _very_ impractical.

“Morning, how’re you feeling?” Minnie looks at him rather dejectedly.

“I find it much harder to continue denying the truth in the light of day,” She admits, Remus smiles kindly at her.

“Perhaps the truth is not so bad?  It may not be what you are used to, but Hogwarts is still Hogwarts.  It’s still your home and will always be, just like it is for everyone who goes to school here.” She nods solemnly.

“I know, but it is not Hogwarts that is the problem, it is everyone in it.  Which sounds horrible, I know, but everyone I care about is no longer here.  Also, it occurred to me that my Father must be dead by now, but I am here.  I should be there, caring for and leading my people, not abandoning them to teach.” Remus takes the seat beside her bed again.

“Your people?” She nods before seeing he has no idea what she’s talking about.

“I come from an island, sort of near here, my father is…was, their leader.  I was to take his place when he died.  Until then I wanted to leave, to see the rest of the world for myself.  I only just barely convinced him to allow me attending Hogwarts, I promised him I would go back.  Why on Earth did I betray my people, betray _him_?” She asks, crying a bit, Remus bites his lip before he puts a hand on her shoulder awkwardly.

“Minnie, I find that when people do something drastically out of character, there will _always_ be a good reason for it, even if you are unaware of it.  You have to put faith in yourself, there’s always a reason.”  She looks at him gratefully and smiles, it’s then that he notices what’s beside her on the bed, it having been partially hidden by her before, “Where’d you get a guitar?” She blushes slightly.

“Transfigured a bedpan, actually.” Remus chuckles.

“You play?” She nods, “Can I hear a song?” Minnie seems to hesitate, “I’ll play one for you if you play one for me?” She looks at him, debating the offer before she grabs the guitar.

“All right, but I’ve only been playing it for three years.” He shrugs.

“Can’t be worse than when I let my friend Pete play my guitar, he who had never seen one up close before.” She chuckles as she pulls the guitar into the correct position, waiting for herself to calm before she begins.  She debates what to play for a moment before catching sight of her red robes in the corner of her eye and begins to play, when she gets to the correct point, she opens her mouth and begins to sing.

“Hey there little red riding hood,

You sure are looking good,

You’re everything, a big bad wolf could want.

 

Little red riding hood,

 I don’t think little big girls should

Go walking, in these spooky old woods alone.

 

What big eyes you have,

The kind of eyes, that drive wolves mad

Just to see that you don’t get chased,

I think I ought to walk with you for a ways.

 

What full lips you have,

They’re sure to lure someone bad,

So until we get to Grandma’s place,

I think you ought to walk with me and be safe.

 

Gonna keep my sheep suit on,

Until I’m sure that you’ve been shown,

That I can be trusted, walking with you alone.

 

Little red riding hood

I’d like to hold you if I could

But you might think I’m a big bad wolf so I won’t.

 

What a big heart I have

The better to love you with

Little Red Riding Hood

Even bad wolves can be good.

 

I’ll try to keep satisfied

Just to walk close by your side

Maybe you’ll see things my way

‘Fore we got to Grandma’s place.

 

Little Red Riding Hood

You sure are looking good

You’re everything, a big bad wolf could want

 

Little Red Riding Hood

I don’t think little big girls should

Go walking in these spooky old woods alone.

 

What big eyes you have

They’re sure to lure someone bad

Just to see that you don’t get chased

I think I ought to walk with you for a ways.

 

What full lips you have

They’re sure to lure someone bad

So until we get to Grandma’s place

I think you ought to walk with me and be safe.”  She finishes off the guitar, Remus smiling at her as he had been most of the song, she blushing and smiling back bashfully, they hear someone clear their throat and both look over.

“Headmaster,” They both say simultaneously, feeling like children caught doing something they shouldn’t, which is ridiculous because _you weren_ _’_ _t doing anything_.

“Mr Lupin, Miss McGonagall.  I was wondering if you’d both like to take a walk with me around the grounds, it’s such a lovely day.”  They both get up and follow Dumbledore outside.

 

As they’re walking around, Minnie stops dead in her tracks.

“What is that?” She asks, fear in her voice, Remus follows her line of sight and frowns.

“The Whomping Willow?  It wasn’t here when you were in school?” Minnie shakes her head, Dumbledore clears his throat awkwardly.

“It was put here for a very specific reason in 1971,” He says, Remus’ eyes widen as he catches on before he looks back at the tree, almost in awe to be the reason it was placed here, “Now, Minerva, the Minister and I have spoken and we’ve both agreed that you’re to attend the Fifth year classes until such time as we can reverse what’s been done to you.”

“Surely after so many years the curriculum has changed a lot.”

“Yes, however you seem to have attached yourself to one of the three best students we have, and he’s close friends with the other two.”

“I’d hardly call myself…”

“I know you wouldn’t, that does not make it untrue.  In any case, Minerva is to rejoin the Gryffindor students, I trust she will be looked after?” Remus snorts.

“With all due respect Sir, I hardly think Minerva McGonagall needs looking after.  But she won’t be alone, if that’s what you mean.”  Dumbledore looks oddly pleased with that and inclines his head.

“Quite.”  Then he’s walking off, Minnie turns to Remus.

“So…I suppose that is the end of the conversation then?”  Remus sighs.

“He does that.  Come on, let’s head back to the common room.”

 

As they walk through the corridors, whispers and stress follow them everywhere making Minnie very uncomfortable, but a look to her right shows Remus entirely unaffected.

“How does this not disconcert you?”  Remus looks confused before looking around.

“Oh, people have been whispering about me since second year, and before that they would whisper about my best mates everywhere we went. I’m used to blocking it out I guess.”

“I wish I could do that, I feel as though everyone is judging my every move.” Remus snorts.

“They are.” She frowns at him.

“That was not very comforting.”

“Would you rather I lie?”

“No, but I would rather you be kinder about it, or at least more helpful.” Remus sighs, turning around.

“Oi!  If you mugs are gonna whisper and stare, least be more subtle, a’right Lads?” He calls loudly, everyone quickly bustles past, back to their business, “Helpful enough?”

“Most definitely,” She replies, he grins at her as they keep walking, “So, one of Hogwarts’ three best students, are you?” Remus groans.

“I still think that’s an exaggeration, all the people in this school, no way am I in the top three.”

“Not to mention you’ve had more detention then anyone else in the school, and we go to school with Sirius Black, so that’s impressive,” Marlene says as they enter the common room, Remus flushes as Sirius sputters indignantly from in front of the fire place.

“That’s not friendship Marls, c’mon.”

“We aren’t friends Sirius, I’m your girlfriend.”

“Still has the word ‘friend’ in it so I’d say you still have to be nice!”

“I’m sorry, have we not met? Marlene McKinnon, arsehole to all, and you are?” Sirius rolls his eyes.

“The idiot that puts up with you.” She grins at him, smirks back.

“Thirty years makes a lot of difference,” Minnie states, Remus looks over to her shocked face and tries not to laugh.

“Is it bad though?” Minnie grins widely.

“Not at all.”

“Right, Everyone, this is Minnie, she’s joining fifth year until someone works out how to undo the fuck up the idiots made.  Any questions?”

“She one o’ yours now?” A sixth years asks, Remus nods, “We’ll make sure the word goes out.”

“What does that mean?” Remus sighs.

“It’s a long story, but no one from Slytherin will bother you.”

“No one in general will bother you.  Also hi, I’m Marlene, this is Mary, that’s Lily, there’s James, Sirius, and Peter.  We’re friends with Remy.  Well, most people are friends with Remy but we’re extra-sepcially close.”

“There’s also Sev and Reg.  Sev’s our boyfriend, and Reg is Sirius’ little brother,” James explains, gesturing between he and Lily and then to Sirius.

“Hold up, what?” Remus asks, looking between James and Lily, Peter laughs.

“Yeah, you missed that announcement this morning.”

“So you’re both dating Severus?  As in, the three of you are all dating each other?” Lily takes James’ hand nervously but nods all the same, Remus looks between the two a few more times, the suspense killing everyone who’s standing by in case they need to step in, but then Remus just shrugs, “Okay.”  Everyone lets out the breath they were holding and Remus looks affronted, “You thought I’d have a problem with it?”

“No, it’s just uncommon in the wizarding world, Mary said it’s unheard of in the Muggle world and she’s still trying to sort of…sort it out in her head.  Not in a ‘she has a problem’ kind of way but in a ‘they are all dating’ kind of way and you’re a half-blood so we just weren’t sure where you’d stand on it, I mean we didn’t think you _would_ have a problem with it but –”

“Breathe Prongs, relax.  I have no problem with it, certainly not gonna kick off bout it.”  He leads Minnie over to a couch to sit down while James catches his breath, Lily rubbing circles into his back.  He and Mary exchange a look over their heads that no one but Lily understands, she glares at them both, they look at her in exasperation, she doesn’t stand down.

“…what’s happening right now?” Sirius asks in confusion, Lily raises an eyebrow in challenge, Remus sighs.

“Nothing, Sirius.” Peter starts laughing after about a minute of tense silence, everyone looking at him for the inappropriate timing but it still takes him ages to calm down.

“D-Did you m-mean ‘nothing, Sirius’ or ‘nothing serious’?  Because I couldn’t work it out,” Peter explains, still laughing and now wiping tears from his eyes.  Remus chuckles as he shakes his head at his friend.

“His name you dolt.” Peter starts laughing again, Remus joining in, Sirius looking unimpressed, then Severus comes walking in in a huff, dropping onto the floor in front of his… _A-Are they boyfriend, boyfriend, and girlfriend?  Is there a term here I don_ _’_ _t know of?  James had referred to him as his boyfriend, as_ their _boyfriend._ Remus shakes his head at himself, when he looks up again he sees Severus’ head in James’ lap as Lily’s head rests on James’ shoulder, he looks away again. _Why is it those three of all people can manage to be happy together but everytime I try_ _…_ _I shouldn_ _’_ _t still miss either of them.  What the hell is wrong with me?  Seriously_ _…_

“…emy, Reeeemmmyyyyy.” Remus looks up, finding his friends all looking at him and honestly unable to tell which of them had spoken.

“Right, What’s up Sev?  You seem a little unhappy,” Mary asks, Minnie looking to Remus in worry, he smiles reassuringly and pats her hand which is resting on his arm.

“Why is it that I try to help someone and _I_ _’_ _m_ the one who deals with all the shit?  I stick my neck out to try and help out and the bastard just fucking abandons me to deal with the fall out.  Now my house is pissed because we’re eighty points down, I have three weeks of detention, and my wand’s spewing ducks whenever I try to use it.”  Remus smirks at him.

“Well, I’d lend you mine but it’s pretty much useless unless you want some French toast.” Severus’ lips twitch at that, James huffing and Sirius snickering, “Want to tell us what happened?”

“Want to? Yes, can? No.”

“You’re gonna leave it to the unnamed bastard to deal with though, right?” Lily asks, Severus sighs.

“No.”

“Severus…”

“Look, I don’t expect you to understand, it’s not as though you know anything of the situation, but I can’t just leave this alone.  It’s far too important and if the idiot slips up then…it’s complicated okay?” Lily sighs, Severus takes her hand in his and looks up at her, “I’ll be fine Lils, and don’t worry, I’ll be giving him a piece of my fuckin mind next time I see him, believe you me.”

“Flattering, but unnecessary.” The group turn to see Lucius standing in the common room.

“How’d you get in here?”

“You people never shut the door.  You’re out of detention, have a little faith Severus, I had no intention of leaving you to scrub cauldrons,” Lucius tells him with a look of distaste on his face, “I told Slughorn I did it, the points are now my fault and he also gave you ten points as an apology and me five for coming clean.”

“Does this mean _you_ are scrubbing cauldrons now?” Lucius turns his nose up at Mary’s words.

“Don’t remind me.”

“Thank you, Lucius.” Lucius looks at Severus and nods once before walking out of the common room again.

“Huh, look at that, Lucius Malfoy doing something halfway decent.”

“I keep telling you he isn’t that bad.”

“Oh shush Moony.” Remus rolls his eyes, Minnie just looks horribly out of place.

“So, what do you guys want to do?”  Everyone looks around, not really having any idea.

“You’ve been learning a new song, haven’t you?” Peter asks him, Remus nods.

“Yeah but it’s a duet and really old so I doubt any of you would…Minnie, what year is it in your memories?”

“1946,” She replies, his face lights up.

“Do you know the song ‘Lucky’?” She nods.

“Of course, everyone with any kind of taste knows that song…ohhh, yes sure.” Remus grins giddily and claps.

“I’ll be right back.” He rushes up the stairs to his dorm.

“We’re gonna get to hear Moony sing?” Sirius asks, Peter nods.

“And Minnie.”

“Awh, Minnie and Moony.”

“Don’t even try it Black,” Lily warns, Sirius nods.

“Yeah good call.”

“Sorry, um, Black?  As in Cygnus, Alphard, and Orion Black?” Minerva asks, Sirius seems nervous but nods.

“Orion is my Father.” Minnie nods.

“You look a lot like him, or at least, like he did at your age,”

“You know my Father?” Sirius asks in surprise, though really he should have realised that, she nods.

“And your Uncles, Alphie and I were quite close once.” Sirius doesn’t seem all too surprised about that.

“What changed?” Minnie fidgets a bit.

“Erm…perhaps you should ask your Uncle about that.”  Then Remus returns, now carrying his acoustic guitar.

“Okay, you ready?”

“You’re doing this in the middle of the common room?” Sirius asks, Remus nods.

“Sure, I’ve been doing so for four years.”

“Come on, I’ve been looking forward to this!” Mary complains, Remus chuckles, looking to Minnie who nods so he starts to play.

“Do you hear me, I'm talking to you  
Across the water across the deep blue ocean  
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I'm trying

  
Boy, I hear you in my dreams  
I feel your whisper across the sea  
I keep you with me in my heart  
You make it easier when life gets hard

 

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again  
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

 

They don't know how long it takes  
Waiting for a love like this  
Every time we say goodbye  
I wish we had one more kiss  
I'll wait for you, I promise you, I will

 

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in every way  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed  
Lucky to be coming home someday

 

And so I'm sailing through the sea  
To an island where we'll meet  
You'll hear the music fill the air  
I'll put a flower in your hair

  
Though the breezes through the trees  
Move so pretty you're all I see  
As the world keeps spinning round  
You hold me right here right now

 

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend  
Lucky to have been where I have been  
Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in every way  
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed  
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh  
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh.”

 

“Oh my god you guys are amazing!” James practically squeals excitedly, Severus laughs at him until he punches him in the arm.

“Thanks guys,” Remus tells them, only now looking away from Minnie, Minnie blushes slightly as she looks down at her lap.

“You have _got_ to be kidding me,” Sirius mutters under his breath, an incredulous laugh escaping as he gets up and walks straight out of the common room, laughing manically as he goes.

“…does this have something to do with him being weird yesterday morning?” Remus asks, Lily shakes her head.

“Nope, this is…unrelated to that…mostly.”

“Is he okay?” James scrutinizes Remus’ face closely, whatever he sees makes him roll his eyes and sigh.

“Yes, he’s fine, don’t worry about him Remy,” He tells him with a gentle smile, Remus frowns but does not reply.

“How about we do our homework and Minnie can see what we’re doing in class at the moment?” Severus suggests, Remus is suitably distracted.

“Yes, Minnie, the other two Dumbledore was talking about are Lily and Severus,” He says, pointing to them each in turn.

“Why was the Headmaster talking about us?”

“Two best students in the school.” Minnie looks at Remus, unimpressed, Remus looks away and bites his lip.

“That is not _quite_ what he said.” Remus sighs.

“No, but it is the truth.”

“We are our own worst critics Remy, if the Headmaster says you three are his top students, I am inclined to believe it true.”

“Moony, are you being self-deprecating again?” James asks him, Remus facepalms as he feels his frustration growing.  Usually at this point he’d snap at someone, but Minnie doesn’t have anyone else at the moment, not really, he can’t afford to leave her alone.  He’d told Dumbledore she wouldn’t be, and what would his Professor think when she’s changed back?  He takes a deep breath.

“Possibly a little.”

“Does this have something to do with…you-know-who.  Oh, I mean, not you-know-who as in he-who-must-not-be-named, but you-know-who as in…well…you-know-who,” Peter stumbles awkwardly, Remus glares at him.

“Derek.  He has a damned name.”

“You’re defending him again Remus,” James tells him gently, Remus slumps back onto the couch, _I should have sent someone else to spend time with Minnie, or left someone else with her yesterday afternoon.  I can_ _’_ _t even_ _…_ _I just_ _…_ _everything is so fucking wrong!  How am I supposed to help someone else cope in a strange place when I can_ _’_ _t even cope with what_ _’_ _s familiar?!_

“Come on, we’ve got History homework to do.  Pretty sure I spotted a mistake in one of the books, want to ask Binns about it during class tomorrow?” Remus smiles at Lily and nods.

“Professor Binns is still teaching?  No offense to him intended, but how is the man even still alive?”  The students freeze, looking to her with worried expressions, Remus sits back up and takes both her hands in his.

“Minnie, Professor Binns dies in the staffroom about a decade ago.  He teaches as a ghost now.” Minnie’s eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh…” She’s silent for a few moments, the others exchanging looks, unsure what to do, “At least he’s still teaching I suppose, is he happy?”

“S’long as Remus isn’t in the room.” Remus glares at Marlene, “Innapropes, sorry.”

“We’ve got History Of Magic first thing in the morning, you can find out for yourself then,” Lily tells her, “Though I should warn you, our class doesn’t have the best track record with him.” Minnie nods.

“All right, so, show me what we are doing.”  They all get their stuff and spend the next hour and a half doing work.

 

 

Eventually Sirius returns, by that point they’re sitting around the fire talking about all the pranks they’ve pulled off, and Minnie talking about the time she accidentally turned Dumbledore’s beard orange and he liked it so much he kept it for a year.

“Man I am soooo glad Minnie’s been de-aged,” He announces as he walks into the room, giggling.

“You’re high again, aren’t you?” Remus asks, though it’s sort of a pointless question.

“Oh yeah, you blokes should try this. I feel great.”

“Go to bed Sirius.”

“Only if you come with me,” He replies flirtatiously before giggling again, Remus looks at him, unimpressed, and so misses the panicked looks on the rest of the group’s faces.  Minnie, once again, feels very out of place and confused.

“Should we…?” James starts to ask, Mary huffs.

“No, if the idiot wants to go get high, he can suffer the consequences of running his damned mouth. It’s about time it came out anyway.”

“Right, in the interest of saving my relationship though, I’m going to step in so he doesn’t hate me when he comes down,” Marlene tells them, James looks at him in confusion.

“Doesn’t it bother you that your boyfriend is in love with someone else?” Marlene shrugs.

“No, I knew that going in.  We had a long talk about it the day after we started dating so it’s all good.”

“What is wrong with you Sirius?” Remy asks him bluntly, Sirius laughs again.

“Nothing anymore.”

“You realise we have OWLs this year, right?  We can’t really afford to be messing about.”

“Tell you what Remus, I’ll stop smoking weed, if you find a different way to entertain me and take my mind off shit.”

“Homework?” Marlene goes over to her boyfriend before he can reply and wraps her arms around him.

“Wanna go make out?” Sirius looks at her with a sudden clarity, cupping her face in his hand.

“Marley, we should go on a date.  Like an actual date.  I could take you to dinner in Hogsmeade?” Marlene’s face brightens.

“Sounds brilliant Honey, now come on, let’s go find a way to distract you.” He follows after her happily as she leads him to the boy’s dorm.

“You know I speak Finnish?” Sirius tells Marlene as they walk away, “Parents wanted me to learn Latin so I learnt Finnish instead.  ‘Course no one else speaks Finnish so it’s dead boring and waste of time.  Pissed them off though.”

“Bout bloody time he got his shit together with her,” Remus says before turning around and seeing the others not looking quite as happy, yet also relieved. James looks after them before sighing and turning to Remus with a content smile.

“Yeah, about time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Lucky was only released in 2008, but it’s sort of old styled…ish…okay look I really just wanted things to play out like this, I threw historical accuracy out the window of a car going 110 km/h like oh 25 chapters ago…
> 
> Also, I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but technically speaking Alphard and Cygnus are Walburga’s brothers and Cygnus’ 2nd cousins along with Walburga herself, but I did not know that when I wrote this and it’s been brought up a few times and I don’t want to re-write that much of the story when I literally have no idea where in the story it’s mentioned. So, for this, Orion, Cygnus, and Alphard are brothers, and Walburga is their second cousin/wife and sister-in-law.   
> GTL the Black family, amiright?
> 
> Anyways, hope this is enjoyed 


	26. Hey There Delilah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter ☹, I do not own the song Introducing me, I don’t know who wrote it but it’s sung by Nick Jonas.  
> TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, FLASHBACK. I’ll put a warning at the beginning of the flash back and a notice at the bottom in bold writing so that it can easily be skipped.

As it turns out, Minnie has always loved History of Magic, it was her favourite lesson, and Professor Binns her favourite teacher.  She, in turn, had been his favourite student, and was more than happy to have her in his class again.  Even more so after she began keeping Remus in line during class, all of Gryffindor got on their knees and hailed her for that, Remus pouted for a full day.

Over the next few weeks life slowly became more routine, Minnie still spent all her time with Remus, but she would happily chat with other people that happen to be around.  Only at night when she had to go to the girls’ dorm did she leave his side, and even then she’d immediately attach herself to either Mary, Marlene, or Lily, refusing to go anywhere one of her four favoured people couldn’t go with her.

One morning at breakfast, Peter shrieks as he reads the paper.

“Wormy?”

“Prongs,” He replies as he turns the paper around to show the others, their eyes widen as well, Lily gasping and covering her mouth with her hands.

**_DEATH EATERS SPOTTED IN HOGSMEADE_ **

**_ARE OUR CHILDREN SAFE?_ **

“Oh my god,” Mary comments as she reads it over.  Remus grabs out a piece of parchment, quickly scribbling a near illegible note and sending off with Peter’s owl.

“Phia?” Sirius asks, Remus nods.

“MIND YOUR OWN DAMNED BUSINESS SEVERUS SNAPE!” Bellatrix’s voice screams from the Slytherin table before she storms out of the room, Severus left behind, dropping his face into his hands and groaning in frustration.  Lucius and Rodolphus going after Bellatrix, Severus glares at the door for a moment before walking over to Reg, saying something quietly to him, getting a nod, and then walking to Gryffindor table to join the group.

“What was that about?” Lily asks him, Severus looks at her, and for a moment all they see on his face is exhaustion and heartbreak.

“Ask no questions and I shall speak no lies,” He replies before he sits down in the space between his partners that they’d made.  Lily snuggles into his side, James putting a hand around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.

“We’re here if you need,” He tells him before he turns his head to rest it on it’s side on his shoulder.

“I know, now what was Pete screaming about?”

“I did not scream, I merely released a manly shriek.” Minnie giggles at him, Remus smiles at her, then the smile drops.

“Deatheaters in Hogsmeade,” He says as he turns to look at Severus whose eyes widen.

“You’re _shitting_ me.”

“What is a Death Eater?” Minnie asks, Remus frowns.

“The Death Eaters are…fanatics of a cult set around worshipping a man who calls himself a name most dare not speak.  He is insane and pure evil, despises those not of pure origin, and just generally sows fear and chaos.  The wizarding world has been at war for five years, he is the enemy in said war.” Minnie’s eyes widen in fear.

“And these Death Eaters are near the school?  They would never actually harm a child, would they?” Marlene frowns, burying into Sirius’ side, he wraps an arm around her as he answers Minnie’s question.

“Everyone I know for certain is a Death Eater is also an abusive dickbag to their children so…my bets on yes, yes they would.”

“My question is where could they be near Hogsmeade that there’s only been one sighting?  Surely they didn’t just show up and leave again?”  For a reason Minnie does not understand, the group turns to Remus whose brow furrows as he thinks.

“Of course they would.  If they wanted to make a point, which they have.”

“What point?” Minnie asks him, he looks at her sadly.

“That no where is safe, not even Hogwarts.” 

 

A month later, a week before the Christmas holidays begin, they’re in the common room studying for their OWLs.

“Hey, does anyone know the date?” Alice calls out to the entire room, seated on the other side of it reading.

“It is the 19th of December, 1975.”

“Yes I know the year, thank you Marls.”

“You say that like time shit doesn’t happen!” Marlene tells her, gesturing to Minnie who laughs.

“Remus?” Remus doesn’t here Peter calling his name, he hears someone else instead.

**FLASHBACK**

_“_ _Remus! Nice to see you again, did you miss me Baby?_ _”_ _Remus grins as he runs over and jumps at his boyfriend, Derek easily catching him in his arms and kissing him._

_“_ _Always do,_ _”_ _He replies when they break apart, leaning their foreheads together. Then Derek breaths in deeply, his eyes open, dark with anger, Remus tries desperately to work out what he_ _’_ _s done wrong._

_“_ _What is that smell?_ _”_ _Remus sniffs around, confused, there are no weird smells!  He should know, he_ _’_ _s a Lycanthrope.  Just Him, Derek, general street, James, some dead poss_ _…_ _James_ _…_ _what?!  Remus looks down at himself as he comes to a horrible realisation.  He and James have accidentally swapped similar looking jackets, the big difference being James_ _’_ _rather strong smell of the horrible deodorant he wears._

_“_ _I-It_ _’_ _s nothing, j-just a jacket mix-up._ _”_

_“_ _Whose jacket are you wearing,_ Baby _?_ _”_ _Remus_ _’_ _heart starts pounding, he_ _’_ _s disappointed him again, why does he always do this?!  Why is he so bad and wrong and_ _…_ _“_ _Answer the question!_ _”_ _He demands as he slams Remus against a nearby wall.  Remus thinks it might be the back of his old school, but he_ _’_ _s too scared and ashamed to check, closing his eyes as tears start to run free._

_“_ _J-J-James_ _’_ _.  B-But I promise, nothing happened!_ _”_

_“_ _Why were your jackets anywhere near each other?_ _”_

_“_ _We-we share a dorm room, there_ _’_ _s others too though, it_ _’_ _s not just the two of us._ _”_

_“_ _And I bet you_ _’_ _re whoring yourself around to all of them, aren_ _’_ _t you?_ _”_ _Remus shakes his head wildly._

_“_ _No! Derek please, please, you_ _’_ _re the only one I want_ _…_ _you_ _’_ _re the only one that would have me,_ _”_ _Remus whispers the last bit, unsure if he believes it or just thinks it_ _’_ _ll calm his boyfriend down._ This is my fault _, he thinks,_ Why can’t I do anything right? He’s usually so loving, why do I do this to him? _His tears fall harder._

 _“_ _That_ _’_ _s right, I_ am _the only one who would have your pathetic self.  You keep talking about this James though, I have to wonder_ _…_ _you_ _’_ _re in love with him, aren_ _’_ _t you?  You_ know _he_ _’_ _ll never have you!_ _”_ _Remus flinches as he remembers the silver knife, the pain that had lasted for weeks after the wound itself had healed._

_“_ _I-I don_ _’_ _t, only you, I only love you, please, I swear!_ _”_ _Derek_ _’_ _s face softens, he places Remus on the ground and strokes his face lovingly, Remus smiling hopefully at him._

_“_ _Show me._ _”_ _Remus_ _’_ _smile falls, he looks at him in confusion._

_“_ _What?_ _”_ _His eyes darken again._

_“_ _I SAID SHOW ME! Get on your knees and show me how much you love me!_ _”_ _With that he pushes on Remus_ _’_ _shoulders and forces him down, quickly undoing his fly.  Remus looks at him, wide-eyed._

_“_ _Derek_ _…_ _I_ _…_ _I don_ _…”_

_“_ _You_ _’_ _d do it for him though, wouldn_ _’_ _t you?_ _”_ _Remus shakes his head wildly,_ _“_ _Then you_ _’_ _d best get to work._ _”_ _Remus hesitates too long though, Derek pinches his nose forcing Remus to open his mouth to breathe_ _…_

“…it, yes, that’s it, come on Remus, come back to us.  Focus on my voice, you’re safe, you’re in the common room in Hogwarts, that’s it, come on now, you can do this Remus.  Come back to us, just keep focusing on my voice…” Suddenly Remus intakes a large breathe, looking around wildly, unable to place where he is, “Remus, look at me.” Remus looks towards the voice, “You know me, what’s my name?” He _does_ know him, he does.  He’s safe, it’s his friend, the one who always helps him, always.

“…I…I don…”

“Take your time, it’s okay, you’re safe.  What’s my name?” Remus looks at his eyes, those grey eyes he so frequently catches watching him with warmth in their gaze.  He’s so lucky to have a friend that cares for him, he knows the others do as well, but sometimes he thinks this one cares a little more.  He’s a great friend.  He’s a joker, which is ironic because his name is…

“Sirius.” Sirius smiles at him gently. 

 “Yes, that’s right.  Do you know where you are?” Remus looks around again, significantly calmer now.

“Gryffindor Common Room.” Sirius nods again, Remus frowns, looking around.

**END OF FLASHBACK BIT.**

 “Where’s Minnie?”

“The girls took her to the dorm.” Sirius forces down the jealousy that she is the first he asks after, _she_ _’_ _s a teacher Black!  He_ _’_ _s not going to fall for a teacher, and even if he does, it_ _’_ _s no business of yours.  Not until you tell him how you feel._

“She okay?”

“Everyone is okay.  Are you?” Remus takes a deep, shuddering breath, gnawing on his lip for a moment before he shakes his head.

“Ca-Can we go up to our dorm?”  He asks in a small voice, Sirius nods.

“Of course, can I touch you?” Remus bites harder on his lip but nods, Sirius slowly reaches out and takes Remus by the arm, leading him up to the dorm.

“He _is_ going to get better, isn’t he?” A second year asks, James and Peter exchange looks.

“Let you know in a minute.” With that the two head up to the dorm. 

A minute later James walks back down and sits next to the young girl.

“What’s your name?”

“Lucy.”

“Well Lucy, there are many different forms healing can take.”  As he starts to explain, Peter calls for Lily, Mary comes out instead, after a quick hush conversation she goes back and comes out with Lily who then also has a quiet conversation before they both go back to their dorm.  Then Lily walks out with a bag and hands it over before she watches with worry as Peter ascends the stairs again, “Sometimes bad things happen that change people forever, and healing means becoming someone new instead of who they were before. And sometimes, unfortunately, stuff happens that people never really move on from, or they develop coping habits that they never really let go of.”

“What does that mean?” James sighs and hangs his head.

“It means that Remy is going to get better the best that he can, and whatever form that ends up taking, we’re just going to have to accept and support.  Do you understand?” Lucy frowns sadly, a tear coming to her eyes.

“Yeah, I do.” James sees the sadness on her face and tries to smile reassuringly, he pats her on the back before heading back up to his dorm room, quietly thinking that perhaps she understood too well what he meant.  Remy was never really coming back from this.  Not as he had been before.

 

 

“If something bad were happening, and whomever was involved could give no details nor any form of an explanation, would you still want to know that something bad was occurring?” Severus asks into the dark one night, he knows the others are awake because tomorrow they leave for home and none of them sleep well the night before.

“I suppose that would depend on if a person could elaborate a teensy bit in order to inform us if this bad thing were endangering anyone’s life, and if it were one of ours, would they tell us?” Sirius calls back into the dark, choosing his words carefully.  He hears Severus intake a deeply troubled breath before rolling over in his bed to face the rest of the room.

“Perhaps they could elaborate ever so slightly.”

“I’d want to know,” Peter states after everyone is silent for a few moments, there is more silence for almost a few minutes before Severus speaks up again.

“Something very bad is happening, or might be.  It is strongly suspected, and in proving it people’s lives could be endangered, yet leaving it alone could lead to something far worse.”

“Who else we care about is in danger?” Severus sighs.

“I can’t know for sure how far the fall out of this would reach, but we’re talking a potentially powerful player in war.  Directly though, not many.  Perhaps two or three depending on what counts as caring.”

“You do know that if you ever need help, we’re here, right?” James asks in concern, a heavy silence follows, they can all practically hear Severus choosing his next words very carefully.

“I know, and I for you all.  But the situation is very delicate, the less people involved the easier to control and the less devastating the outcome either way.  But suppose…” Severus trails off for a moment, questioning whether to continue, he nods to himself, “Suppose it affected one more than anyone else, yet they were the most important person to keep it from.  Suppose we’re talking about holding someone’s sanity and future in my hands, yet to ensure it, they are not to know.  Suppose this goes wrong and they find out and never forgive me for not involving them, suppose them knowing could have made the difference and saved something important from destruction.  What am I to do when every decision I make has the very real potential to make everything a trillion times worse?” A very long silence follows before they hear an intake of breath from Remus’ bed, and then he begins to speak.

“Heavy is the burden of the wise ones when no one understands a word they say.  Heavier still is the burden of the informed ones, those who know exactly who will pay.  Never clear is the answer yet a choice is to be made, for every answer one requests a toll must be paid.  Clearer is the path of those who know nought, yet destruction still they’ll meet when chaos is wrought.  Ignorance is thought of bliss only by those who know, wiser still are those who don’t but know what answers sow.  All of course would like release yet deep inside they know, to find even a hint of peace the ignorant must go. An answer you must have to find which path you are to take.  And thus, the question must be asked, what is it you seek to make?”

“…where the ever living fuck did that come from?” Sirius asks, turning in his bed and propping himself up to look over James and Peter’s beds to look at him, he chuckles quietly.

“You know Padfoot, I have literally no idea, thought it up just now.  But my point remains clear, Severus, what is it you are trying to accomplish?”

“I am trying to free someone.”

“Why?” Severus frowns into the dark.

“Because what is happening is wrong and I cannot allow it to continue.”

“You are following your sense of right and wrong, you keep doing that, keep doing what you believe is right, and we will back you all the way.  Regardless of whether or not we can help, you are never alone in this.  Should you need help, even if you can’t give details beyond the task, we’re here.”

“We should know for sure whether what we suspect is happening is actually happening or not by the end of the year.  After that, I’ll be able to tell you all everything.”

“We trust you Severus, just know that we’re here,” Peter tells him, silence follows before Sirius suddenly sits up again.

“How do you just start rhyming and not even stop and question it?”

“Hey!  I was on a roll!  Like I was gonna interrupt that.” They all laugh, and just like that, they’re kids again.

 

The next morning the castle is chaos.  Remus and James rushing around and trying to help Peter pack because he had neglected to do so, Severus and Lily rushing to the kitchens to grab little snack foods for everyone to eat before the train, Sirius and Marlene making out in a corner, Mary and Minnie carting the group’s luggage to the common room to get it out of the way of final checks that nothing has been forgotten.

“Hey Remy, I do not suppose this is of import to you?” Minnie asks, leaning against the doorway with a grin and holding up a stick of cinnamon, Remus’ eyes widen as he drops Peter’s socks and hurdles over James’ crawling form, putting a hand on the wall beside Minnie to stop himself from flying into her.  He takes it from her with a smile as he catches his breath from his impromptu work out.

“Thanks Min.”  He sees her blush and furrows his brow before looking down and seeing how they are standing, her leaning against the doorway and him with a hand beside her head, leaning rather closely into her.  He clears his throat and takes a step back.

“Okay Wormtail, done.  Let’s get this down to the common room, and by we, I mean Remy.”  Remus rolls his eyes but flicks a hand out to the trunk and floats it down to the common room, the rest of them following after it.

“Are you really sure I shan’t be imposing in any way?” Minnie asks Remus who smiles kindly and takes her hand.

“Minnie, my parents wouldn’t have agreed if it bothered them.  Besides, my sister is on a weird camp thingo so I’d be lonely otherwise.”  Lily thwacks him in the arm.

“What are we, porkchops?  Sev, Tunie, and I live ten minutes from you!”

“Yes but Minnie doesn’t beat me up like that!” Remus replies with a laugh, the others laugh too but Lily’s eyes widen.  Then Remus realises what he says and his eyes widen too, “I didn’t mean it like that Lils, I’m sorry, it’s not, I, um…”

“No, no, I know, I know you didn’t, I’m sorry, it’s not a good way to show anger, I won’t do that again.”

“No Lily, it’s not like that, I don’t mind, that’s just a friendly thing and…”

“Remy I…”

“Okay, everyone take a deep breath,” Sirius directs, the two do so, “Moony, you good?” Remus takes a few shaky breaths and nods, “Good, Lily, you okay?” Lily looks anxious and shuffles on her feet before clearing her throat and settling down, nodding once, “All right, now I think we can all agree what just happened was a _bit_ of an overreaction.  Everyone is fine, everyone understands it was a friendly teasing sort of action and not one of malicious intent, however perhaps for a while we should refrain from such actions to avoid further misunderstandings, yes?” He suggests with a rather pointed look to Lily that Remus doesn’t see, both nod though and he steps back, calming down, “Right then, let’s go get on the train.”

Just as they start to grab their luggage and leave, Regulus runs into the largely barren common room, panting from exertion.

“Rodolphus Lestrange just punched Lucius Malfoy in the face, and Bellatrix went to make sure Malfoy was all right, but then Rodolphus demanded she go with him, and then Narcissa slapped him and told him to never order her sister around like that again, then he said he’d do whatever he liked to his future wife, she went to slap him again but he grabbed her wrist, and then Lucius punches him and breaks his nose, so then Avery goes to get involved but Bellatrix jinxes him and tells him to leave her family the fuck alone, but then Rodolphus tells her to stop and she just goes over to stand beside him with a rather creepily manic smile and gleam in her eye, then Lucius looks Rodolphus in the eye and tells him to enjoy this arrangement while it lasts because he will spend the rest of his life tearing it apart if he has to and he will enjoy every blasted minute of it, then Avery tells him to back off, and Lucius turns around and snarls at him, so he backs off, Rodolphus decides it’s time to bug out and calls for Bellatrix to follow him so she skips off after him, and then Lucius and Narcissa were hugging in the hall while Narcissa cried and I don’t know why, but then Avery was about to hex Lucius from behind so I hexed him first, and then he went flying into the wall behind him, and that’s when Flitwick came around the corner demanding to know what had happened, so Lucius told him he’d been the one to hex Avery, and Narcissa said he tried to hex her first and Lucius was just defending him, and then Flitwick asked me what happened and I didn’t know what to say so I just backed up what they said and now Avery has a month’s detention starting next term and Lucius has a week’s detention and Avery swore he’d tell everyone exactly which side they’d chosen, Narcissa didn’t want to sit with the Slytherins on the train because she doesn’t want to see Bellatrix right now but she also wants to know that she’s okay but Lucius can’t go in there at the moment and neither thought it safe enough for me to and suggested I either sit with them on the train or with you guys, but then no one can check on Bellatrix, so Lucius requested I run up here and ask Sev to look in and make sure she’s okay,” He says in one long breath, Severus blinks at him for a few moments.

“What?” Regulus sighs, leaning against the doorway.

“Seriously man?” Severus sighs.

“Check on Bella?” Regulus nods, still panting, “Right, I’ll meet you all on the train.”

“We’ll take your trunk,” James tells him, he nods and smiles gratefully before leaving the room, “And by we I mean…” Remus rolls his eyes and flicks a hand at the luggage pile, hovering all of their bags behind him, “Thanks Moony.”

“You all right Little Marauder?” Marlene asks Regulus who rolls his eyes and huffs with what little breath he’s managed to regain.

“I’m fourteen, don’t you guys think I’m a little bit old for that nickname now?” Sirius smiles and ruffles his hair making Reg groan in irritation.

“Oh, he’s fourteen is he, far too old for such childish nonsense.” Regulus glares at him, Remus chuckles at the two.

“Sorry to tell you Little Marauder, but you’ll always be our younger brother,” James tells him, throwing an arm around his shoulder as he takes Lily’s hand in his.

 

At the station Peter spots Eleenie and something occurs to him, he stops Remus from walking forward with a hand on his chest, the group stops with him.

“Do you guys realise that by staying on until next term, Eleenie will have broken the DADA Professor curse?  That will be a year for her.” Eleenie spots them and immediately makes her way over, a kind but nervous smile on her face.

“Pete, I have a feeling you may have spoken too soon.” Peter looks at Remus nervously as Eleenie reaches them.

“Hi, you folks looking forward to Christmas?” Remus looks at her suspiciously.

“I was, but now I’m a little too concerned about where this conversation is going.” She smiles at him in amusement before releasing a melancholic sigh.

“I won’t be here next term.”  Somehow, despite being used to this, the entire group is surprised.

“Wh-what? Why?” Remus asks her, breathing picking up despite his best attempts to calm himself, she looks at him with sad yet happy eyes.

“I’m pregnant.” Remus blinks at her for a moment, a million questions and thoughts go through his head before one thing becomes very clear, _she_ _’_ _s happy_.  He smiles brightly at her and hugs her tightly, she smiles and hugs him back, burying her face in his hair.

“Why can’t you teach while pregnant?” Mary asks, Eleenie looks almost shameful and definitely embarrassed as she looks to the ground momentarily before looking back at them.

“Werewolves can be a bit…unpredictable during pregnancy, even outside of the full moon.  Given this is a school, I thought it best to be safe rather than sorry.” Remus glares slightly.

“You did, or Dumbledore?” Eleenie seems confused by the sudden hostility, not having witnessed the old rivalry between the two, but still she’s quick to reassure him.

“I did, this was my decision Remy.  I can’t risk anyone’s safety for my own happiness, and slightly more importantly, I can’t risk Azkaban when my child will need me.”  Remus nods, smiling sadly.

“I understand, I did sort of figure that was the case when you first said it.” Eleenie nods, then she hugs him again, whispering quietly in his ear.

“Remy, do you remember when we faced that boggart?  Do you remember what you did?”  Remus nods uncertainly, “There is more to you than meets the eye Remus Lupin, and in these times, as in all others, those that are different are considered dangerous and thus in danger themselves.  Be careful, be wise, be kind.  And above all else, remember one simple thing,

 _You deserve to be happy_.”

Remus hugs her tightly, nodding into her shoulder before they both pull back.

“I am really glad I met you Professor.” She smiles at him in a way one only does for family.

“I am so very glad to have met you as well Moony.” Most of the time the Marauders would have been rather annoyed at someone else using their nickname for Remus, yet in this moment it simply felt…right.

“Keep in touch, I want to see that adorable baby, and maybe actually meet this husband of yours one day.” Eleenie grins at him as she steps back a bit and salutes.

“See you around Remy, and all of you as well.  It was an honour to be your teacher.  Who knows, perhaps I’ll be back someday.”  With that she begins to walk away, all of them waving before she suddenly stops and turns back, “Oh and Minnie, I don’t know if you’ll remember this once you’ve turned back, if not I hope one of the others will tell you.  Knight to D4, checkmate.”  Minnie nods at her, the now ex-professor walks off, a skip in her step that reassures the others she would be all right, it was everyone else they were worried about.

 

After a long and rather pensive train ride, everyone departs, searching for the grouping they knew their families would be in.  James spots his Father but immediately knows something is…off.

“Mum, Dad!” Remus calls, helping Minnie with her luggage and leading her and the others over.

“Remus, ah Minnie, good to see you again.”  Minnie looks confused for a minute before her eyes widen.

“Lyall, my word…goodness you’ve grown.  You were two years below me, yes?” He nods, she smiles at him, more comfortable with staying there now.

“Dad, what’s going on?” Monty looks right at his son as everyone turns to them, then he puts a hand on James’ shoulder and smiles, tears of relief filling his eyes.

“She’s awake, Son.” It means nothing to the others, but James’ face mimics his father in a blinding smile and tears as he throws himself at his Dad.

“How is she?  Is she okay?  Does she know what happened?  When’s she coming home? Does she remember everything?  Could she hear us?  What’s going to happen now?”

“Slow down James, she’s fine.  She’s at home already, that’s why Mia isn’t here…”

“Well then what are we waiting for?  Let’s go!”

“James.  Wait.”  James looks at his father, concerned, “She doesn’t remember exactly what happened, but she could hear us.  Now because you were a little genius and have been or have gotten us to explain the school work you do so that she’d have something to think about, she’s done some tests with Dumbledore and so long as we can find a tutor for her within the school, she’ll be joining Hogwarts next term.  Lily, Euphemia and I were hoping you’d be willing to do so?”  Lily still has no idea who they’re talking about but nods.

“Yes, of course.  I love tutoring,” She replies honestly, Monty smiles at her, grateful.  James suddenly frowns.

“Father…” Monty tenses, James never calls him that unless he’s very put off about something, “She’s done tests?  How long has she been awake and home?” Monty sighs.

“She woke up the day you left to Hogwarts, we didn’t want to tell you through a letter and everything has left us so busy that…”

“Stop.  Just, stop.  I don’t appreciate any of that but luckily my feelings are of the lowest priority at the moment.  Now what else do I need to know before we head home?”

“She’s a little overwhelmed, she’s not had a whole lot of variety for a while as you know, so just be a little calmer than you usually are this time of year.”  James frowns, the others do too, everyone knows Christmas is James’ favourite time of year.  Then he just nods.

“Of course, whatever she needs.”  Monty smiles and ruffles his hair.

“Um…can we ask questions now?” Sirius asks, Regulus elbows him in the stomach, “Ow.”

“‘She’ is Delilah Potter, my little sister.”

“Your WHAT?!” The entire group choruses, James sighs, scratching the back of his head.

“She went into a coma nearly six years ago after…an incident.”

“But she’s awake now?  She’s okay?” Lily asks, taking her boyfriend’s hand, James smiles at her with tears in his eyes and nods, “Good. You go home to her, and when she’s ready, I’d love for Sev and I to meet her.”  James hugs Lily, laying a kiss on top of her head before he says goodbye to everyone and leaves with his father.

“So, does anyone _else_ have siblings they haven’t mentioned?  Because that’s three now,” Sirius asks, the group seems confused.

“Three? Phia, Delilah…?” Mary asks, Sirius gestures to Remus.

“And his broth…” Sirius trails off, the group turning to look at Remus save for Peter who glares at Sirius.  Though it’s been happening less lately, Minnie still isn’t surprised to feel extremely out of place once again.

“You have a brother?”  Remus looks uncomfortable, “You know what, don’t worry about it.  Tell us when you’re ready,” Regulus tells him, Remus smiles at him gratefully.

A few minutes later, Severus finally turns up, looking rather haggard.

“Remind me why I’m in Slytherin?” Lily laughs, hugging him close.

“Because of your sly thinking and ambition.”

“Ah yes, that.”

“What happened?” Minnie asks in concern, he sighs.

“Nothing, just…a rather pointed conversation with Avery.  You’re free to go back with Slytherins safely by the way Little Marauder.” Regulus smiles at him.

“Thanks Sev.”

“Where’s James?”

“Turns out he has a sister who was in a coma and she’s now woken up.” Severus immediately looks concerned and open his mouth to speak, Lily smiles calmly at him, “She’s fine, he’s fine, everything’s fine.” Severus nods, calmer now. It was rather adorable if you ask Remus, though he knows neither Severus nor James would appreciate that observation.

“Sirius, Regulus, what do you think you are…Minnie?” Orion Black stops short, his wife walking into his back from how sudden his stop was.  Minnie sees him and smiles.

“Hello Orion, a pleasure to see you again.”  Orion just blinks at her, mouth hanging open, Sirius snickers at the look on his face.  Orion doesn’t react when Walburga begins lecturing Sirius about respect, in fact he doesn’t react until Minnie walks closer and waves her hand in front of his face a few times, “Earth to Orion?” he pushes her hand away from his face with an unhappy look, she grins, “There he is.”

“What happened?” Minnie sighs.

“Transfiguration accident, the Headmaster and some of the Professors are looking for a way to turn me back.”

“Right…do-do you remember everything?” Minnie shakes her head.

“Nothing after 1951*.”

“N-n-nineteen fif-fifty-o-one?” She nods, he swallows awkwardly, running a hand through his hair, giving a half-second nervous smile at her before he shuffles awkwardly and clears his throat, “Right well, erm, good luck with that, I suppose…come along boys,” He starts walking off when Sirius calls out to him.

“Wait, um, Father.  Can Reggie and I go to Christmas lunch at the Potters again?”

“Yes, sure, you may go, now come on.”  Sirius grins widely and nods.

“Thank you Father, see you all later,” Sirius tells them, gesturing Regulus forwards.  The Blacks leave, a flustered Orion leading the charge followed by two happy teenagers and a rather disoriented Walburga.

“So…what was that about?” Remus asks Minnie, looking amused, she grins at him mischievously.

“Oh you know, just something that happened years ago.”  He chuckles and throws an arm around her shoulders in a friendly manner.

“I am so glad Sirius left,” Peter mutters to Marlene who nods in agreement.

“We’d best be off as well I think, we’ll see you all at Christmas,” Hope tells them all, they say their goodbyes and head back to the Lupin home.

 

“Okay so, this is my sister Phia’s room, she’s all good with you using it by the way, that door is my room, the next one on the left is the bathroom, Mum and Dad’s room is down the hall on the right,” Remus explains as Minnie puts her bags down, Minnie nods in understanding before looking at him nervously, he looks concerned, “What’s wrong?”

“I just, I wanted to say thank you.  You…you have done so much for me since the accident and you did not have to.  I mean, you do not know me.  I do not know what I would have done if I were going through this alone.  So thank you Remy.”  He smiles.

“I um, admittedly I think I was so intent on helping you out to begin with because I owe grown-up you so much more than I can ever repay.  But you’ve become my friend in your own right and I’ve really grown to care for you.  I help out the people I care for, you never have to thank me for that.”  Minnie walks towards him and looks him in the eyes, for a moment he thinks she’s going to kiss him, but then she hugs him, head on his chest.  He wraps his arms around her and hugs her back, unsure how to deal with what he’s feeling.

 _Why would I think she would kiss me, why would I want her to, she_ _’_ _s a teacher!  Besides I still_ _…_ _I thought_ _…_ _*internally sighs* he can_ _’_ _t haunt the rest of my life, but this is definitely too soon.  Plus, they_ _’_ _ll undo what_ _’_ _s been done and she_ _’_ _ll be McGonagall again and I can_ _’_ _t possibly have feelings for one of my professors.  Not happening.  Ever._ He internally nods to himself, _never._

 

Due to actually having been there, Lyall is able to fill in some of the blanks of her last years in school for Minnie and tell her where a lot of their peers are now.  It also allows Remus to know more about his father’s past which he finds to be exciting.  The two also catch up with Lily, Sev, and Petunia, Petunia and Minnie getting along far more than anyone would have guessed.

 

One day Remus and Minnie are sat out the back with a guitar, taking turns singing and playing songs when Minnie turns to him.

“You know, it has been three months and you are basically all I have right now, yet I feel as though I know nothing about you.”  Remus smiles at her, then he bites his lip before he grabs his guitar.

“ _I_ _’_ _m, good at wasting time, I think lyrics need to rhyme, and you_ _’_ _re not asking, but I_ _’_ _m trying to grow a moustache,_

_I eat cheese.  But only on pizza please, and sometimes on a homemade quesadilla, otherwise it smells like feet to me,_

_And I, I really like it when the moon looks like a toenail, and I love you when you say my name._

_If you wanna know here it goes gonna tell you there_ _’_ _s a part of me that shows if we_ _’_ _re close gonna let you see everything.  But remember that you asked for it._

_I_ _’_ _ll try to do my best to impress but it_ _’_ _s easier to let you take a guess at the rest but you want to see what lives in my brain, and my heart, well you asked for it,_

_For your purusing, at times confusing, slightly amusing, introducing me._

_Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, la da da da, la da da da da da da da da_

_I never, trust a dog to watch my food, and I like to use the word dude as a noun, or an adverb, or an adjective,_

_And I, I_ _’_ _ve never really been into cars, I like really cool guitars and superheros, and checks with lots of zeros on them,_

_I love the sound of violin, and making someone smile,_

_If you wanna know here it goes gonna tell you there_ _’_ _s a part of me that shows if we_ _’_ _re close gonna let you see everything,_

_But remember that you asked for it, I_ _’_ _ll try to do my best to impress but it_ _’_ _s easier to let you take a guess at the rest but you wanna see what lives in my brain, and my heart, well you asked for it,_

_For your perusing, at times confusing, possibly amusing, introducing me,_

_Well you probably know more than you ever wanted to so be careful when you ask next time,_

_So if you wanna know here it goes gonna tell there_ _’_ _s a part of me that shows if we_ _’_ _re close gonna let you see everything, but remember that you asked for it, I_ _’_ _ll try to do my best to impress but it_ _’_ _s easier to let you take a guess at the rest but you wanna see what lives in my brain, and my heart well you asked for it,_

_For your perusing, at times confusion, hopefully amusing, introducing me,_

_Do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do, do do do do, introducing me_ _…_ ”

Minnie smiles at him, leaning forward and resting their heads together,

“I am glad I met you Remy, transfiguration mishap required or no, I would not have missed this for the world.”  Remus smiles at her as he playfully bumps noses with her.

“I’m glad I met you too.”

 

All are excited when they go to the Potters, the Evans’ coming over to the Lupin’s and flooing over with them.

When they arrive, they hear laughter in the dining room and all move towards the sound.

“Hello?” Lyall calls out, silence falls before a bundle of brunette hair comes rushing out.

“Surprise!” Phia calls from in front of them, Remus smiles and runs at her, she hugs him tightly as he hugs her before gesturing Minnie over.

“Phia, this is Minnie, Minnie, this is Phia.”

“Hi Minnie, it’s nice to meet you, James and Rem have told me a lot about you.” Minnie smiles at the girl.

“Likewise, it is a pleasure to meet you as well Phia.”

“Phia, not that we aren’t happy to see you, but what and how and when and why?” Lyall asks his daughter, she smiles sheepishly.

“So, I mentioned to James where the camp is and he said there’s this wizarding village nearby, anyways our group was going on a shopping trip so I asked my friends to cover for me, we’re not due to meet back up until four so…I snuck over to the wizarding town and used the floo in a pub to come here.  Straight up name dropped the Potters and the Blacks so that they’d let me use it but anyways, here I am.”

“Sophia…did you seriously just run away from camp?”

“I’ll go back and they’ll never know!  Besides, it’s not like I set anything on fire!”

“Hey, why the drive by?”

“Well, I for one am very glad you’re here,” Petunia says with an overly cheerful voice and hugs Phia who hugs her back.

“We’ll talk about this later, but it’s nice to see you Honey,” Hope tells Phia who smiles.  James clears his throat suddenly, everyone looks over, standing slightly behind him and holding his hand tightly is a girl who looks to be about the same age as Regulus.

“Everyone, this is my baby sister Del, Del, this is Lily, Remy, Minnie, Severus, Petunia, Kyle, Laura, Hope, and Lyall.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Del tells them, Remus is surprised at how alike James and Del are given how unalike he and his own twin look.  Del’s hair is a chocolate brown and very curly mass that falls to her shoulder blades, she has pale green eyes though, and no freckles in sight.  She, unlike her brother, does not wear glasses.  A moment later the floo activates and Regulus and Sirius appear.

“Hello Peop…um…h-hi,” Sirius stutters when he sees Del, she smiles kindly at him.

“Hi, I’m Del Potter.” He’s silent for a moment until Regulus elbows him lightly.

“Right-um-hi…I-er-already said that, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did,” Del replies looking amused by the funny boy before her.

“Erm, I-I’m Sirius, Sirius Black.”

“Nice to meet you Sirius Black.”

“And-and you Del.” They smile at each other, Sirius blushing slightly, James glaring at Sirius over Del’s head and the rest just looking exasperated.

“Hey Sirius, how’s Marlene?” James asks him pointedly, he cringes.

“Oh, um, fine, I think?  We uh, we broke up.” James grimaces.

“Sorry to hear about that.”

“No it’s, it’s all good.  We’re friends and we both agreed that was the most important thing.  Met up to talk about it all and ended up just going to a movie and hanging out as friends, was a good time.”

“That’s good, I’m glad you guys are okay,” Lily comments, Sirius smiles and nods.

“Me too.  Also, hello everyone I have so far completely ignored rather rudely.  Merry Christmas!”  Everyone laughs as they all start chatting, Remus smiles at him.

“Merry Christmas.”

 

 

Christmas was fun, James thinks that Del enjoyed Sirius’ awkward stuttering when talking to her, Lily tells him he’s being ridiculous but makes a mental note to speak to Sirius.  Remus gifted Sirius with a dog collar, _Padfoot_ clearly engraved on the golden tag along with the words _If found, please tell him to stop being an idiot and go home._   Sirius has vowed to never take it off again.

 

When they all get to the train station they see Delilah chatting with a boy they’ve never really paid any attention to before and James glaring at him from beside his parents.

“Everything okay there, Prongs?” Peter asks, James’ scowl deepens, Euphemia nudges her son lightly, he lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Yep, I’m just concerned about my little sister who is apparently the object of every random guy’s affection,” James says with a pointed look to Sirius who was looking unhappily towards Del and the other boy, Marlene nudges him, he looks over to see everyone watching him in varying states of amusement.

“At least it’s not still Moo-ning, he, um, at least he’s not still mooning over…the other one.  Right?” Peter stutters awkwardly, Remus raises an eyebrow.

“Sirius had a crush?  Why don’t I know about this Padfoot?” Sirius looks like a deer caught in headlights.

“Um…no reason.  Just, didn’t come up.”

“So, who was it?” Sirius blinks for a moment before blurting out the first name to come to mind.

“Gilderoy Lockhart.”

“…you what now?  The cannibal guy?” Remus asks to the confusion and worry of those not in attendance for the first Wizard Dine (Which has in fact become a monthly thing, Remus is still surprised every time by the random shit people know but he’s collecting quite the random trivia.)

“ _He_ _’_ _s_ not a cannibal, but yes, him,” Sirius replies, Remus looks at him as though his words just won’t compute, the others are staying the hell out of this.

“Hey guys!” Del greets happily as she and the boy walk over to the group.

“Hey Del, who’s your friend?” Lily asks her as she hugs the girl, the boy holds a hand out to her when they’d broken apart.

“My name’s Tom, Tom Riddle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did warn you all I changed some timeline things, right?
> 
> * So last chapter it said Minnie’s memories are from 1946, but I was paranoid and double checked her birthdate. Apparently 1946 would have made her 11, not fifteen, hence the change to 1951 in here.


	27. Canon Fodder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter ☹  
> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM, it’s minor and not necessarily depression related, but it’s there. Warning will be shown before and after it, this chapter is suuuper important though so I would not suggest skipping it all together.

“My name’s Tom, Tom Riddle.”

One day, Remus Lupin will sit on the front door step of what was his home.  It will be rainy, he will be alone, and he’ll think back on his life with a box beside him and a locket in his hands.  The moments he’s had with friends, the best of them, the worst, his favourite memories, the things he wishes he’d forget.  He will sit there, staring at his scarred hands and come to the simple conclusion that what was once an innocuous sentence has slowly but surely become the beginning of a series of his worst mistakes.  As far as he can tell, from hearing that sentence to now, there were five bright points, and everything else was darkness and sorrow and lost hope and pain and everything he’s tried hard to run from but never can escape.  Then a letter will come down from the sky, a letter from a man he will never stop despising, yet it’s a letter that will fill him with something akin to hope.

_Remus,_

_After some unfortunate circumstances, Hogwarts is, unsurprisingly, in need of a new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.  Your name was suggested and I certainly agree you would be a brilliant fit._

_If you are interested please reply and we shall make a time to meet,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

 

“It’s nice to meet you Tom, I’m Lily –”

“Evans, I know.  You lot are rather well known around school, also your friend set a bunch of my stuff on fire so… you’re all sort of memorable.” Remus sees the looks his parents are sending them and clears his throat.

“So, Slytherin, cool!  Great place, love the common room, very stylish, bit drafty in the winter though.”

“Well, it is a dungeon so, I suppose that’s to be expected.”  They see Avery and co sneering at the Black brothers and think it’s to Sirius until they notice Regulus glaring back, “Do you want to sit with me and my friends on the train Reg?  We don’t sit in the Slytherin carriage,” Tom offers, Regulus flushes and smiles.

“Um sure, thanks.”  Sirius immediately softens to the other boy.

“Del, you want to join us?” Del nods happily as she answers,

“Yeah I’d love to.”

Lucius glares at the group sneering at the Blacks before he walks over to the group, Narcissa in tow.

“Sorry about them, I try to discourage it but there is only so much I can do after what you did,” Lucius tells Regulus who flushes and looks to the ground.

“I appreciate the sentiment.”

“Hello Remy,” Lucius greets with a smile, “Miss Lupin, lovely to see you again.”

“Malfoy,” Phia greets, not unkindly but not exactly friendly either.

“Hi, I’m Petunia Evans,” Petunia introduces to Lucius when an awkward silence befalls the group.

“Lucius Malfoy,” Lucius replies, taking the hand she offers and kissing the back of it, she smiles before recognition filters through.

“The same Lucius you lot were talking about at the park when we met Phia?” Remus chuckles.

“That was what, four years ago?  How do you even remember that conversation?” Petunia shrugs.

“It’s nice to meet you Mister Malfoy, Remy’s mentioned you on occasion.”

“I can’t imagine that conversation would have gone well, I promise, I’m not as bad as they make me out to be,” He tells her with a charming smile, she laughs, “This is Narcissa Black,” Lucius introduces, Petunia’s smile falls slightly before it grows forced.

“Sirius and Regulus’ cousin, right?”  She nods tersely.

“We should probably be getting on the train, but, um, Remy, I just wanted to say…you were good for her.  Thank you.” Remus seems surprised but nods to Narcissa who then makes a bee-line for the train, Lucius waves to the group briefly before following after his chosen.

“Must have been important to her she say so if she spent a year and a bit building up to saying it,” Mary says to the group, the others nod.  Remus just looks thoughtful, a million thoughts going through his head before he turns back to the group and smiles genuinely.

“Well, Hogwarts awaits, you looking forward to it Del?” Del nods.

“Immensely.”

“Then we should all get on the train before we miss it.”  Everyone says their goodbyes, the Potters taking an inordinate amount of time to say farewell to their youngest, understandable under the circumstances.  James had mentioned they’d wanted her to stay at home until next year, but the healers, the Headmaster, and Del herself had all agreed that to do so would merely be stilting her growth and her future further, the best thing for her was to continue on with life.

“Oh did you hear from Eleenie at all over break?” Peter asks as they enter their carriage, Remus who nods.

“Yes, she sent a short letter, they’ve settled down in France where they plan to raise the baby. It’s cool, I’ve always wanted to live in France, might do the same one day.”

“Any idea what they’re going to name it?”  Remus shrugs.

“I don’t know, something strange I would assume, it is Eleenie we’re talking about.”  Sirius starts laughing.

“Think they’ll send a howler when it’s born?” Half the group groans at the pun, the other half laugh, Minnie thinks she’s missing something before recalling the conversation before holidays.

“I never really got a chance to ask, was our Professor really a Werewolf?”  Everyone goes quiet for a moment before Peter nods.

“Yes, she was.  Are you okay with that?” Minnie frowns for a moment.

“I was raised on the island Jan Mayen, it’s population is quite low so when new comers come seeking a home they are accepted so long as they are willing and able to help our island.  Among them are many creatures, a few of which are Werewolves.  So no, I have no problem with it.  My best friend, my old babysitter, a favoured teacher of mine, and my grandmother were Werewolves.  They have trouble finding their place in this world so it’s not uncommon for them to come to our island.  Some stay, some come and go, some we worryingly never see again,” Minnie explains to them all, Severus leans forward in interest.

“Your Grandmother?  Does that mean it’s not hereditary?” Minnie shakes her head.

“It cannot be passed down, no.”

“Now that is very important information for the book.”

“What book?”

“We’re collaborating on a book about Werewolves, trying to educate the masses so that we can change public opinion and make life easier for Lycanthropes.”  Minnie frowns.

“I do not mean offence, but what would you all know about Werewolves that other experts do not?” The group looks around awkwardly, Remus sighs, reaches over and shuts the blind on the door before he pulls his top up, revealing the bite mark, “…I am truly an idiot.” The group laughs at Minnie who just seems so very disappointed in herself.

“Our book is focusing a lot on Adolescent Werewolves because we think teaching the world about how some kids are growing up will give us sympathy voters.  We took the opportunity with Eleenie to learn more about adult Werewolves too and even did a quotable interview with her and with Remus about it.  We’re focusing now on the mind of the wolf itself,” Severus explains to her, she frowns at him in sudden worry.

“How on Earth are you researching _that_?” The Marauders exchange looks, the rest of the group still didn’t know about their being illegal Animagi thing and something told them risking McGonagall finding out was very much not worth mentioning it now, they keep quiet.

“We…discovered some things…that help with it…” Severus tells her slowly, glancing around for help, the others seem to debate something for a moment.

“It’s Minnie guys, come on,” Marlene says a moment later, Sirius sighs.

“It’s not Minnie I’m concerned about, it’s how Professor McGonagall will react if she remembers this conversation when they undo whatever Prongs and Sev did.”

“We can’t just act like she’s not one of us because of who she is when she grows up.  Besides, if she does remember, she’ll remember being our friend, and Minnie would never tell.”

“There’s a whole duty of care thing to worry about here.  I feel like stopping our particular brand of research will come under that.”  Everyone goes quiet as they debate what to do again, then Remus looks up.

“Not if we let her speak to Moony.”  The others look at him in surprise, Minnie in confusion, “If we let the adult her speak to Moony, she’ll know there’s no real threat to your safety and that you’re minimising the average threat to everyone else.”

“I thought _you_ were Moony.”  The others all nod their agreement so he turns to Minnie.

“I am.  But Moony is what we call the wolf side of me.  We learnt how to let out it’s mind while still in this form.” Her eyes widen to saucers as she looks over the group.

“Holy shit.”  Then she looks horrified with herself as the others laugh.

“Remy’s rubbing off on you,” Lily tells her, James and Severus lock eyes in amusement before Severus shakes his head.

“Nope, not going there.”

“Oh you two are disgusting!”

“You know, when I was little all I wanted was to leave my island, see the world.  I finally got the opportunity to go when my Hogwarts letter came and I thought, yes, this is it, this is my chance.  I was so lost and confused, I knew so very little about the world everyone else lived in.  It took me a year before I started to realise that I was not just missing key concepts, what was happening just genuinely did not make sense.  I realised that everything that mattered to me I could do on my island and it was safer, it made sense.  I thought this world was just unkind and cruel and oppressive.  Every time I talk to you guys it is just more proof that I was wrong.  Thank you for proving me wrong.  I know you all go to a lot of trouble trying to teach me things and experience life as it is now.”  Everyone smiles lovingly at Minnie, as far as Remus can tell, there was only one way to respond to it.  Just as it had been the only real response to him before.

“You will never not be worth it my friend.”

 

 

Upon entering the Great Hall, everyone’s eyes are immediately drawn to the sorting hat, sitting atop the wooden stool they’d all sat on before along with the lone student standing in wait.

“Everyone, before we begin the welcome back feast, we have a new student joining us who needs to be sorted.  Delilah Potter shall be joining the third years, so, if you wouldn’t mind my dear, taking a seat?”  Delilah calmly walks over and takes a seat on the stool.

“Headmaster…” Delilah begins before the hat is placed on her head, he seems surprised but looks in her eyes.

“Yes, Miss Potter?”

“I really do prefer Del to Delilah.” He smiles warmly at her and nods.

“My apologies Del.”  She smiles back as he places the hat on her head, it fits her better than the first years because her head is bigger, as such she can still see her brother as it happens.

_Another Potter, yes your brother and I spoke about you when it was his turn here.  Not for long mind, he was always to be a Gryffindor._

_What am I to be then?_

_What would you like to be?_ Delilah mulls over this for a moment before shrugging, it was rather amusing to the hall who never usually had this good a view of the student during sorting.

_Whatever allows me to thrive and be myself I suppose, is that not the point of these houses?_

_A rather Ravenclaw answer._

_If how I am to be defined for the rest of my life is decided upon based on one answer, I shudder to think how stunted the students of this school grow to be._

_And here Miss Potter you have stumbled onto what may well be one of the biggest problems in the wizarding world today._

_Which is?_ She’s sure she hears the hat sigh in her mind.

 _Sometimes people are just sorted too young._ Del frowns at that.

_How do you get around that?  They_ _’_ _re eleven, you can_ _’_ _t start school later, they have to be sorted when they start.  Is there another option?_

_Why does this bother you?_

_People are unhappy.  I want to help._

_And?_ Del scratches the back of her neck nervously.

_I_ _’_ _m two years older than others are, doesn_ _’_ _t that give me an unfair advantage?_

_They_ _’_ _ve had five years you haven_ _’_ _t._

_That_ _’_ _s different, that couldn_ _’_ _t be helped._

_Nor could this.  Listen, Miss Potter, one thing you must understand if you wish to make it through life is that things aren_ _’_ _t fair, and quite often, you won_ _’_ _t have anyone around to help._

_I will always have my brother as he will always have me._

_Will he?  He didn_ _’_ _t the last five years._

_T-that_ _’_ _s different!_

_It couldn_ _’_ _t be helped, yet still it had to be lived.  This though, this you view as an injustice, that makes the decision clear.  To be as fiercely loyal and caring as you, it never goes away._

“HUFFLEPUFF!” The hat shouts, _Do not fret young one, I am certain that by the time you are through, the world will be a far better place for having you in it._ Delilah smiles as the hat is taken off, she looks at it as it smiles to her, “Good luck young one.”

“Thank you.”  Delilah walks happily over to the Hufflepuff table, oblivious to the surprise blanketing the room, then Tom let’s out a whoop and starts clapping from the Slytherin table, James immediately joining in and then the whole hall is cheering as they normally would.

“Hello Young One,” A Hufflepuff says as Del sits down, Del looks at the girl in confusion, “The hat’s never spoken to someone out loud before,” She explains, Del chuckles.

“I suppose there are worse things to be called.”

“I’m Amelia, Amelia Bones.”

“Del.” The two shake hands, Del’s introduced to others around the table before Dumbledore regains everyone’s attention.

“As some of you are aware, Professor Randona has left the school.  She and her husband are expecting a cub of their own in a few months, we’re all very happy for them both.  Replacing her as Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor is Cygnus Black III, we welcome you Professor Black.” Slytherin house claps first, the rest slowly joining in, yet a look over shows Lucius and Narcissa exchanging worried looks as they clap slowly, “Along with Professor Black, we have been forced to find a slightly more long-term temporary fill-in as Transfiguration Professor, so we welcome Professor Deymour Delurion, and now, your long-delayed feast.”  The food appears in front of everyone, and while most tuck in, the group, Regulus, Sirius, Lucius, and Narcissa all exchange worried and confused looks.  Bellatrix, meanwhile, looks at her father in a debating fashion.  Remus looks over and recognises the look on her face, she’s scheming, and whatever it is she wants, she will get her way.

 

Bellatrix lay in bed that night thinking hard, wondering with as much original thought as she can muster how she made it to this point.  She’d read all about this curse, but what no one had written about was the level of awareness.  She knows what’s been done to her, but it is so very difficult to worry about it when everything seems perfectly fine.  But it’s not fine, and she must remember this if it is the last thing she does. 

**TRIGGER WARNING**

She grabs the knife under her pillow, carefully cutting her own arm as she hisses under her breath.

“This is not me, it is him, I have. To fight.”  She does this three times as she does every night, the pain the only way to regain her thought and feelings in a usable clarity even if she still cannot act on any of it.  The scars the only reminder of why she must keep fighting, “How did things go this way?  I was so happy…” She whispers,

**IT** **’** **s OVER**

_“_ _Mother, Father, I have something to tell you both,_ _”_ _Andromeda tells her parents over dinner, they both look over at her.  For the first time Andromeda actually questions whether or not she is making the right decision, then she feels a kick under the table and looks over at her youngest sister.  Bellatrix smiles encouragingly at her, and knowing she_ _’_ _s forgiven is enough to push her forward,_ _“_ _Ted Tonks proposed to me._ _”_

_“_ _Well, obviously that match is unacceptable.  You did the right thing in telling us about this Andromeda_ _…”_ _Cygnus begins to say but Andromeda shakes her head._

_“_ _That_ _’_ _s not why I was telling you, I_ _’_ _m telling you because I said yes,_ _”_ _She explains as she slips the ring from her necklace and onto her finger.  Her parents look at each other and then at her, the anger on their faces growing._

_“_ _Andromeda, you are a Black, marrying a Muggle is completely abhorrent and below your station, we will not allow it!_ _”_ _Druella tells her sharply, Andromeda tries to remain calm as she speaks._

_“_ _Mother, he is not a Muggle, he is Muggle-born.  He_ _’_ _s a wizard, and he_ _’_ _s my fianc_ _é_ _. I am marrying him regardless of whether or not you allow it, I can only hope your daughter means more to you than bigotry and out-dated traditions._ _”_ _Cygnus_ _’_ _face grows dark._

_“_ _How_ dare _you speak ill of our heritage, our blood-line has remained the most pure throughout the ages and it will not be sullied by you and your filthy conquest!_ _”_

_“_ _Filthy conquest? Ted is a good man, and he loves me, certainly more than you ever did!_ _”_

_“_ _YOU WOULD BETRAY YOUR OWN BLOOD?!  FOR SOME MUGGLE?_ _”_

_“_ _HE IS A BETTER WIZARD THAN YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO BE!_ _”_ _Druella slaps her daughter across the face._

_“_ _Get out, blood traitor._ _”_ _Andromeda spares a look to her sisters, Bellatrix looking sad but encouraging, Narcissa won_ _’_ _t meet her eye._

_“_ _Fine._ _”_ _She leaves._

_“_ _How dare she, my own daughter.  No, not anymore.  I won_ _’_ _t stand for it!_ _”_ _Druella starts walking out of the room and Bellatrix acts._

_“_ _Mother!  You cannot disown her._ _”_ _Her parents and sister look at her in surprise, the_ _…_ _coherency_ _…_

_“_ _And why not?  She_ _’_ _s a blood traitor, just like the rest._ _”_

_“_ _SHE_ _’_ _S YOUR DAUGHTER YOU WRETCHED OLD COW!_ _”_

_“_ _Narcissa, go to your room,_ _”_ _Cygnus orders, Narcissa looks up with wide eyes, looking between her parents and Bellatrix,_ _“_ _Now!_ _”_

_“_ _It_ _’_ _s all right Cissy, go,_ _”_ _Bellatrix tells her, no one is quite sure which one of them it is she listens to, but she leaves._

_“_ _If this is what allowing that half-blood around you does then you can forget about it!  He may be useful but I will not allow anymore of this nonsense._ _”_ _Bellatrix stands on the table as she looks down at her parents._

_“_ _Remy Lupin is not simply useful, I love him, and he loves me.  Always and no matter what, he is ten times the person either of you will ever be.  He is who I choose in this world, over the both of you, any day.  And if you will disown Drom for who she loves then you had best be prepared to do the same to me._ _”_ _She_ _’_ _s not quite sure why she said that, because honestly, they probably would._

_“_ _No.  You will marry Rodolphus Lestrange and continue our family legacy._ _”_ _Bellatrix gets off the table and stands in front of her Mother, right in her face._

_“_ _Make. Me._ _”_ _She hears movement behind her and turns to see her Father_ _’_ _s wand pointed at her, she has just enough time to panic and think of Remus before his spell is cast._

_“_ _Imperio._ _”_

Bellatrix casts a spell and cleans the blood from the bed as she considers how the situation is.  Since the spell was cast, it’s like she’s locked away in a part of her mind, only when it’s the worst, she is not even aware of that, only that the spell has been cast and she must obey.  It wasn’t long after it was cast before her parents realised this was limited, instead they enrolled Rodolphus Lestrange to become co-caster and thus have partial control her.  He had been honoured to do so, as soon as they had returned to school he had watched her closer, attempting to ensure no one would catch on.  But someone had, Lucius had noticed, he had seen it in her face when they locked eyes in the Great Hall as he was leading Remy out after James punched him.  She had to have faith that he and Severus would work it out and save her.  For now though, she wasn’t her priority, the Death Eaters were.  They are in Hogsmeade and planning a raid on the castle, she needs to warn someone somehow.  She had thought it impossible, then Minnie McGonagall had arrived.  Rodolphus hadn’t ordered her not to talk to her, the standing orders prevented her from revealing what had been done to her, but she could get a message to be passed on about the Death Eaters.  If she can find a way to get to Minnie without Rodolphus around…she’ll manage it, she has to.

 

It’s two weeks when the opportunity arrives, she’s walking back to class from the bathroom when she hears sniffling.  She turns down a corridor and sees Minnie McGonagall, sitting against a wall, looking ashen.  Bellatrix looks around but sees no one else and goes, kneeling before the girl.

“Hi, you’re Minnie, right?” Minnie looks at the girl and nods, she holds out a hand and smiles a smile she is so rarely allowed to use anymore, a genuine one, “I’m Bella.”

“Hi,” Minnie replies, Bellatrix’s heart all but cracks in half at the lack of hostility, the group hadn’t told her of her?  Was that good or bad?  They weren’t speaking ill about her, or was she just not worth even that?  But no, she had meant something to them, and even if it had been a long time now, she had to believe she still did.

“Are you all right?” Minnie’s eyes fill with tears as she shakes her head, “What’s wrong?” Minnie’s crying increases, Bellatrix wraps an arm around her.

“I just…I do not know.  It is stupid but everything is so different and…all of my friends are all grown up, some of them dead and I just feel so lost and out of place.”

“Oh Minnie, oh I am so sorry,” Bellatrix tells her as she puts it together, “I wish I knew how to help.  I know what it’s like to feel lost and alone, I know what it’s like to lose someone you care about and yet they are still here.  Right here but they still aren’t…they aren’t there anymore because they’re…”

“Gone?” Bellatrix nods, “That is exactly what it is like.  I am living two lives but my old one is being forgotten so quickly, by everyone but me.”  Bellatrix nods in understanding, Minnie frowns at her, “What is it that happened to you?”

“Something…very complicated and I am quite literally unable to talk about it.”  Minnie frowns, looking as though she could see into Bellatrix’s very soul.  It’s a look Professor McGonagall usually gives when she’s trying to get the truth from someone.

“Is it magic stopping you?” Bellatrix nods, trying to stop the hope building in her chest, “Against your will?” Bellatrix can’t respond, “Too specific, um, is it your magic?” Bellatrix shakes her head, “Did you ask for it to be cast?” Bellatrix shakes her head, a little surprised she was able to respond to that, “If I were to tell someone about this conversation, would it help?”

“Yes.”

“Who?” Bellatrix tries to speak but can’t, she shakes her head.

“Don’t worry about it, everything is fine.” Minnie’s frown deepens.

“I do not believe you.”  Bellatrix says nothing, “You are in Slytherin, yes?” Bellatrix nods.

“Yes.”

“My best friend has a friend in Slytherin, Lucius Malfoy, if I were to have had a conversation with someone else who had been put under a spell against their will, do you think he could help them?” Bellatrix grins at the girl.

“I think he could help them, yes,” She tells her, the other girl nods.

“I will do that.”

“Minnie, could you pass along another message for me?” Minnie frowns but nods, “The Death Eaters spotted in Hosgmeade, they’re in the Dark Forest.  They plan to attack the school.  I need Remy to find out, but I cannot tell him or anyone else close to him, but no one thought of you when preventing that because no one thought this would happen.”  Minnie seems very frightened but nods.

“I will tell Lucius and he will tell Remy, I assume there is a reason you want it done that way.” Bellatrix nods.

“Minnie, about everything, I’m sorry.” Minnie looks pained but nods.

“One day they will turn me back and I suppose I will remember whatever time I had left with everyone.” Bellatrix frowns at her as she realises something.

“You don’t want them to turn you back, do you?” Minnie looks nervous before she shakes her head.

“I just, I have heard what I am like.  I know people look up to me despite my strictness, and I know that I am well respected.  But of everything I heard, it is just not who I wanted to be.  I do not know what life I lived but somewhere along the way I lost my passion, I do not want to live like that.”  Bellatrix looks at her thoughtfully.

“Then don’t.  Old, young, it doesn’t change anything.  You always have a choice to change the life you are leading, whatever it is you are passionate about, you can always get it back.”

“What if I cannot remember?” Bellatrix thinks about it for a moment before her eyes light up, she pulls out a piece of parchment and a self-inking quill.

“Write yourself a note.  Then, if you don’t remember, I’ll give it to you.”  Minnie looks at it for a moment before nodding and starting to write.  It’s a short letter, but it says what needed to be said, “Minnie, if you _really_ don’t want to be changed back, then when they do sort it out, just tell them no.”

“I did not know that was an option,” Minnie admits, Bellatrix smiles at her.

“No is always an option.”

“Except for you.” Bellatrix chuckles and nods.

“All right, fair point.”

“You gave me my choice back, I will not stop helping you.” Bellatrix thinks there’s a double meaning in there somewhere, but she doesn’t have a clue what.

“We should probably get back to class, will you be okay?” Minnie looks back to the hallway again for a moment before nodding, “Good, make sure you tell one of your friends about this, it’s always better to have someone by your side.”

“Thank you, Bella.” Bellatrix nods.

“Anytime.”

 

“Severus, can I talk to you for a moment?” Minnie asks him when they all meet up for break.  Severus raises an eyebrow but nods, the two walk far enough away that the resident Werewolf won’t hear them.

“What’s wrong?” Severus asks her, she takes a deep breath before she looks directly at him.  For a moment, all Severus can see is Professor McGonagall when she’s determined to do something regardless of anyone else, he’s a tad frightened.

“I need to speak with Lucius Malfoy.” Severus narrows his eyes and frowns at her.

“Why?”

“Please just trust me.”  He looks at her appraisingly for a moment before he starts heading towards the castle, she follows him.

On the way they pass Del and Tom, Severus catches both their arms and steers them in the same direction.

“How would you two like to help us out with something?”

“Um, sure, what’s up?” Tom asks as they walk, rather fast though not ostentatiously so.

“Just need you to stand outside the Slytherin common room and chat with Minnie and with each other while I grab something from inside.  Don’t want her harassed while she waits,” Severus replies easier, “Can you do that for me Riddle?” Tom glares at him.

“Don’t patronise me Snape.”  Severus stops walking very suddenly, the other three a few steps ahead before they realise and stop, looking back at him as he stares at Tom, “What?”

“I…” Severus looks around, disoriented for a moment, blinking and pressing the heel of his palm into his eyes as though he can’t see, then he shakes his head to clear it before he starts moving again, “Nothing, come on.”

Severus uses the rest of the walk to get the image of Tom as some strange almost reptilian person out of his head.  He really needs to get more sleep.

“Right, wait here, talk to Minnie, make sure no Slytherins harass her,” Severus tells them before walking into the common room and leaving the other three behind.

“Lucius, could I borrow a moment of your time?” Lucius looks up from his book and raises an eyebrow at him elegantly, “ _Please,_ ” Severus adds dramatically, Lucius rolls his eyes as he gets up, marking his place in his book before following Severus out of the common room.  He waves Minnie after him as he walks past with Lucius in tow, the other two shrug and walk off, job done.

“All right Severus, what is this?” Lucius asks when they have literally walked all the way to the top of the astronomy tower.

“Minnie?” Severus gestures for her to continue.  She debates for a moment if she can even say anything in front of Severus, but by the way he crosses his arms, she doesn’t think she has an option there, so she turns to Lucius.

“I have a message from Bella, one she couldn’t deliver herself.” Lucius and Severus instantly look far more interested, “We got talking after I had a bit of a breakdown.  Um, she understood some stuff and when I asked how she said she literally couldn’t tell me.  So I started trying to ask is more round-a-bout ways.  She’s under some sort of spell that prevents her from talking to certain people about certain things or certain things to anyone, whoever put her under it didn’t anticipate me.  Which makes sense, because, how could they have?  Anyway, whatever has been done to her, she didn’t ask for it and doesn’t want it. She’s hoping you can help her.”  The two boys exchange looks, it wasn’t exactly new information, but it was confirmation.

“Did she say anything else?”

“Yes, but not about that exactly.  Her message, she couldn’t deliver it to anyone else but she needs it to get to Remy.  For some reason she needed it to go through you first.”

“Probably because he’ll trust it more coming from me than her, what’s the message?” Lucius asks her, as urgent as Lucius Malfoy ever is.

“The Death Eaters that were sighted in Hogsmeade are hiding in the Dark Forest, they’re planning a raid on the castle.”

“What are they after?”

“I don’t know, but you need to tell Remy.” Lucius looks to Severus who nods.

“I can take care of that, say you told me.” Lucius nods to him.

“If things get desperate…”

“I know you’ll help, but I really hope it doesn’t come to that.  You just deal with the Bella situation, I’ll deal with the rest of this.”

“Be careful, your boyfriend would kill me if you died in any way vaguely connected to me, and I honestly shudder to think what your girlfriend would do.” Severus smirks.

“Is Lucius Malfoy afraid of a muggle-born?”

“When that Muggle-born is a pissed off Lily Evans?  Yes, yes he is.”

“I’ll tell her you said that.”

“I hate you too, now go.” Severus grabs Minnie’s hand, dragging her out before letting go, trusting her to follow him as they sprint down. They don’t stop running from the top of the astronomy tower to the tree and the edge of the lake.

“Remy.  Death Eaters, they’re coming!” Severus tries to tell him around the huffing and puffing, “I’m starting to think the run was counterproductive.”

“Coulda told you that,” Minnie replies breathlessly.

“What the hell do you mean the Death Eaters are coming?” Remus asks, immediately standing up, everyone else following suit.

“The ones spotted in Hogsmeade, they didn’t leave, they’re in the Dark Forest.  They plan to raid the school, we don’t know for what.”

“Come on, we have to tell Dumbledore!”

“We can’t, how would we explain how we know it?”

“How _do_ you know it?” Sirius asks suspiciously, Severus rolls his eyes.

“Lucius told me, asked me to tell Remy.”

“If we can’t tell Dumbledore, then what do we do?” Mary asks, voice panicked, everyone looks to Remus whose eyes flit back and forth as he thinks.

“Sirius, come with me.  Everyone else, you haven’t seen us since class ended.  Most of you know nothing, James, Peter, you know we had an idea for some prank we were going to tell you about later.  Minnie, I gave you no information other than stay with the girls.”  With that the two were off.

 

“Headmaster!” Remus calls as he and Sirius rush into his office.  Dumbledore looks up from his work, surprised by the uninvited guests who shouldn’t really have known how to get up here because of the password.

“Can I help you Mr Lupin, Mr Black?”

“There’s Death Eaters in the forest!  They plan to raid the school.”  Dumbledore looks between the boys’ expressions, nonplussed.

“How do you know this?”  Remus looks to the ground sheepishly.

“We were in the forest and we found them, we heard them say it and then we came here to tell you.”

“I appreciate you warning me of this, but unfortunately there is nothing I can do.”

“You-what?” Remus looks at him, then at Sirius to check he hadn’t misheard, and then back to Dumbledore.

“The Forest belongs to the creatures within.  I’m afraid that if the Death Eaters choose to reside there, we have no ground from which to evict them.”

“They want to attack the school you bloody idiot!” Remus exclaims, Sirius puts a hand on his arm to calm him, Dumbledore remains calm in the face of Remus’ anger.

“And for proof of that we have the word of two students who should not have been in there to begin with.”

“What does that matter now?  Give us detention for the rest of our Hogwarts days for all I care…”

“Remy, shut it.” Remus stops talking as Sirius steps forward slightly, “Headmaster, shouldn’t you at least look into this?”

“Unless they enter our grounds, there is nothing I can do.” Sirius steps aside pointedly, Remus stepping forth again.

“If you will not do anything, _Headmaster_ , then I fucking will.”  Dumbledore smiles slightly at him, it’s then that Remus realises he was hoping he’d say that, “OH FUCK YOU, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING TOSSER!” He storms out, Sirius frowning in confusion before following after him.

“What did I miss Remy?”

“He wanted me to say that, he wants it dealt with but he can’t.  He was waiting for someone to notice.  Really makes me question where exactly Lucius got his information,” Remus explains as they walk at a very fast, very angry, pace.

“Good, he trusts us, how is that a bad thing?”  Remus stops and turns to face him directly.

“What if it hadn’t been us?  What if it were Regulus, or Minnie, or Del, or one of the girls, one of the first years?  We want to help, yes, but we are _children_ Sirius, just like all the other students here, and he’s using us as canon fodder.”

“Oh…”  They continue walking, faster now, “So what are we going to do?”  Remus sneers as he opens a door that Sirius now sees is the one leading to the Attic.

“Load up the cannon.”


	28. The Dark Forest

Chapter 28

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“Remus, I just don’t think this is a good idea, you realise people could die, right?  And what are we even going to do?  Kill them?” The Gryffindors in their common room after dinner instantly stop what they are doing and look to the portrait hole, Sirius and Remus ascending the stairs towards them.

“What do you want to do then Sirius?  Wait around for them to kill us?  God knows what they’re after, god knows what they will do to get it.  Of course I’d rather not involve anyone else, but despite what people seem to think, I cannot stop everything on my own and this is beyond my skill level.  We need help Sirius.” The two enter the common room and see everyone watching them.  Remus sighs, rubbing his forehead with a hand before looking up to address his house, “Everyone in third year or below, go to bed.” Immediately some head off to bed while others start to argue, Remus holds a hand up to silence them, “Non-negotiable.  Go to bed.”  They trudge off to bed, “Fourth years, you are going to remain behind and look after them, ensure none run off and follow and be prepared to defend them in case something happens, is that understood?” The students in question nod.

“Remy, what’s going on?  Is it the Slytherins?” Henry asks them, Sirius sighs.

“Damn but I miss the days when the only threat to our lives were a bunch of angry children with boundary issues and ill-tempered parents who’ve not taught them how to deal with another’s superiority,” He tells them all as he sits on a chair, suddenly very tired.

“If not them, then what?” Severus asks them anxiously, pretending not to know, Remus looks at them with a surprising level of calm given the situation.

“There are Death Eaters in the Dark Forest, they plan to raid the castle, we don’t know what for or when.  We brought the matter to Dumbledore, obviously, but he says he cannot do anything unless they enter the grounds.”

“He what?!” A sixth year cries indignantly.

“Isn’t that a bit too late?” Mary asks in astonishment, Remus nods.

“He cannot do anything, but that does not mean that _we_ can’t.  Now I know what some of you must by thinking, we’re just children, what can we do?  And you’re right, we are children, and this should not fall to us.  But it does.  We are not defenceless, and slightly more importantly, we are not unarmed.” At that, Remus transfigures the coffee table into a larger dining table, he and Sirius begin laying out everything they brought, James raises an eyebrow.

“You emptied out the attic?”

“We kind of figured the situation called for it, this is what it was made for after all, sort of.”

“What’s the attic, and where did you get all this stuff?” Scarlet asks as everyone looks over their carefully labelled potions, charmed objects, and various other tidbits.

“It’s ours, we made it or bought it.  We’ve been stocking up for a rainy day, and right now, it’s pouring,” Sirius explains.  The prefects all exchange looks, the other students do as well, then Henry turns to Remus.

“What’s the plan Remy?”

“This entire venture will be volunteer only, anyone who does not wish to participate, go to bed now.  No one will be judged for that.  There is nothing shameful or cowardly in wanting to stay alive.”  No one leaves.

“Gryffindors to the bone,” Severus mutters as though it’s a major offence.

“Don’t see you leaving either Sev,” Henry points out.

“Apparently stupidity is contagious.”

“James, Marlene, you are both going to fly through the forest, we need numbers and a location.  If you happen to hear what they are after or when they plan to attack, all the better.”

“Won’t they see us?” Marlene asks as James summons both their brooms, Remus holds out a hand and a cloak flies into it from his dormitory.

“Not if you wear these and wrap them around so that they cover below you as well.”

“Is that my invisibility cloak?” James asks curiously, Remus nods as he passes it to him, then he pulls another out of his pocket and resizes it from its shrunken form, “Where’d you get another one?”

“I made it.”  Everyone looks at him non-plussed.

“Um, how?” Peter asks him, Remus sighs.

“You remember that thing I was working on for the thing?” The Marauders nod, everyone else sighs, “Well I got it to work and then I understood the cloak and decided to try to make another one.”

“It works?” Frank asks, Remus wraps it around himself and sure enough, he’s invisible.  He then passes it to Marlene who takes it and begins walking to the stairs up to the dormitory.

“Come on Potter, time to go.  We’ll be back as soon as possible,” Marlene promises, James salutes to them before following after.

“In the meantime, who here is well practiced in defensive spells?” The group members and Alice raise their hands, “Besides you lot,” Remus says with a roll of his eyes, they lower their hands.  Frank raises his.

“Alice taught me a bunch of stuff, guess I can stop wondering where she learnt it.”

“We may have all gotten slightly paranoid a few years ago,” Lily admits, Kingsley walks over to the table before he looks to them.

“I do believe the phrase, ‘it’s not paranoia if they’re really after you’ comes into play here.  Clearly you were not wrong.” Sirius nods in agreement.

“We’re all as well versed in such things as anyone else at Hogwarts in our respective years, some do better in DADA than others.”

“We do need to decide what it is we are doing here though, we cannot simply massacre them,” Minnie points out, Remus nods.

“We need to capture them, hand them over to Dumbledore,” Peter tells them all, Frank sighs.

“Assuming he’ll do anything about them then,” He points out, everyone around the room looks to Remus when he starts pacing and thinking.

“I am far too sober for this shit,” He complains as he rubs his hands over his face.  Lily gets up and goes into her dorm before returning with a full cup and handing it to him, he raises an eyebrow.

“Not that I’m condoning your borderline alcoholism, but we have bigger problems right now.”  Remus smirks as he takes the glass and drinks it in one go before he continues pacing while twiddling with his cup.

“You really think that’s going to help, Love?” Severus asks her, she shrugs.

“Worth a shot.”

“Actually I think that cup was easily three shots worth,” Mary tells her, Lily rolls her eyes.

“Since when is Remy as alcoholic?” Alice asks, worry clear on her face, Mary snorts.

“Since Bella.” Minnie frowns, looking to Severus who notices the look and nods.

“Sometimes I really think I should never have drifted from you lot, you get into so much trou– Remy?” They turn back to Remy who’s stopped pacing, he turns on his heel to look at them all again.

“The Moral Reversal spell.” The group exchanges looks as everyone else just stares in confusion.

“Moral Reversal spell?” Davey Gudgeon asks, the poor blokes face was still swollen and colourful from his run in with the whomping willow.  Remus couldn’t really find it within himself to feel guilty about that, it was his own stupidity after all.

“It’s something we were looking into, we thought that if we could reverse the moral compass of an enemy, they’d no longer believe in whatever they were fighting for.  Bad guys would become good,” Sirius explains.

“And good could become bad!” Henry points out, looking rather aghast.

“Yes, we realise that Hank, we figured so long as no one else ever learnt the spell, it wouldn’t be a problem.  Circumstances have changed,” Severus replies.

“We never even finished it,” Lily points out, Severus sighs.

“I did.  But we can’t be sure it works,” He tells her.

“So we test it, if it works we use it again and it’ll go back, right?”

“Possibly, but Alice, the biggest problem we have with this is who the hell are we to decide what people should believe is right or wrong?  These are large hallmarks of a person’s personality, morals are what make a person who they are.”

“Desperate times Severus.”

“It can’t be our only option, surely?  Besides, it’s probably a difficult spell, we can’t possibly master it without even being able to use it to practice,” Scarlet points out.

“Obliviate, Moral Reversal, the Cultural Download spell…”

“Cultural Download spell?” Henry asks, interrupting Remus’ listing.

“We thought if we downloaded non Death Eater culture into their brains they’ll stop fighting as one, the problem is, to be truly effective we’d need to remove the beliefs they already hold.”

“It should leave them confused enough to capture though, at the very least.”

“What do you think is best here Remus, really?” Frank asks him, “You lead Mate, we’ll all follow.” Remus frowns, thinking it through.

“We obliviate them all, give them a second chance to be good people on their own.” Everyone looks around at others, they all agree.

“Then let’s do it.”

“We may not get them on the first shot, so let’s run through your basic defence spells.  Plus we have various offensive potions on the table, just throw it at them, none are lethal.”

 

“What exactly are we going to do with a bunch of amnesiacs?” James asks when they return and are told the plan, “Thirty-six of them, by the way.”

“We help them.  The moment we remove their current compulsions to cause harm, they are innocent, they’ll have done nothing wrong and have every opportunity to do good.  All goes to plan, no one else in the world will know what happened tonight,” Remus tells them, they look nervous, but nod.

“They’re camping out by the lake, you know, the one over that ridge with the prickle bush,” James tells him, Remus nods.

“Do we ask how you two know the Dark Forest so well?”

“It’s best you don’t Marls.”

“All right then, let’s do this.”

As they start stocking up on potions and such, Minnie pulls Remus down the hall slightly.

“Remus, I need to tell you something.”  Remus frowns, the use of his full name setting off warning bells within his head.

“What’s wrong?” Minnie pulls out a vial from within her pocket.

_After Remus and Sirius ran off to tell Dumbledore, the others decided they_ _’_ _d skip their next class and begin heading to the common room to do anything they can think of to distract themselves._

_“_ _Ah, Miss McGonagall, just the person I was looking for,_ _”_ _Slughorn calls from the other end of a hallway, Minnie and the others turn around to face him._

_“_ _Can I help you Professor?_ _”_

_“_ _Actually, my dear, it is I who can help you.  I found out how to reverse what was done to you,_ _”_ _He explains as he pulls out a vial and hands it over to her, she takes it and looks at the glass in her hand._

_“_ _Professor, I appreciate you doing this, but I have to decline._ _”_

_“_ _I_ _’_ _m sorry?_ _”_ _He asks feeling extremely bamboozled._

_“_ _I do not wish to be re-aged, I am choosing to remain as I am and grow up again at a normal rate._ _”_

_“_ _My Dear, I_ _’_ _m afraid you can_ _’_ _t simply_ _…”_

_“_ _Yes, actually, I can.  It_ _’_ _s my decision, and my answer is no._ _”_ _She attempts to hand back the potion despite his protests and her friends_ _’_ _shocked expressions, eventually Slughorn sighs._

_“_ _As you wish, however I implore you to keep the potion.  Should you change your mind, simply drink the entire bottle._ _”_ _With that he leaves, muttering about speaking with the Headmaster and a permanent change in staff and the like._

“Professor Slughorn found a cure but…”

“But?” Remus asks, Minnie sighs.

“I have decided not to take it.  He suggested I keep it in case I change my mind but, I have thought long and hard about this, and as was pointed out to me, no is always an option.  It’s the one I am choosing as well.  I know a lot of people will be rather discomforted and unhappy with that choice, but I ask you, please, respect it.”  Remus seems sad but he nods and takes her hand in his.

“I cannot deny I will miss the older version of you, but I would have missed this version of you as well.  If this is your decision, then I will support it.”  She smiles at him gratefully, then she licks her lips and frowns.

“Remy, I am afraid.  We could all actually _die_ tonight.”

“You don’t have to come.”

“I know, but no way am I allowing you to go out there without me there to watch your back.  I care about you Remy, you aren’t going anywhere without me.”  Remus cups her cheek and smiles at her, pressing their foreheads together.

“Nor are you without me, Minnie.”  Minnie looks in his eyes before she pulls her head back just far enough to press their lips together.  Remus freezes for a moment before kissing back, it deepens and suddenly they’re full on snogging.

“Are you kidding me?!” Sirius suddenly exclaims from the doorway to the hallway.  Minnie and Remus spring apart, looking embarrassed and breathing hard.  Sirius rolls his eyes and walks back into the common room, Minnie and Remus exchange amused looks before following after, “All about to die and what do they do?  Snog, that’s what,” Sirius mutters, “Suddenly _I_ _’_ _m_ the one who needs a damned drink.”

“Oooookaaayyyy, moving on.  Everyone ready to go?” James asks them all, everyone nods.

“Got any comforting poems now, Moony?” Sirius asks Remus as they stand by the portrait hole, the others waiting for them to lead them, Remus chuckles.

“Into battle once more, we fight or we die, yet alone we never will be.

For as the dark surrounds us, our light will break through, and beside you there will be me.

Though hear me you may not, content you should be, in the knowledge that I am at your side.

As I am with you, I know you to be, fighting with me on this ride.

Forever we journey into places unknown and thus forever are free.

Yet freedom is illusion and the lights grow dim as you battle together with me.

Together we fight and together we win so hear me my brothers I plead.

We stand together, brave and proud, and victory is all but guaranteed.”

“Seriously where do you pull this shit from?” Remus chuckles as he looks out of the portrait hole, he holds a hand out beside him towards Sirius.

“Once more unto the breach, my friends.”  Sirius smiles at him and takes his hand.

“Once more.”

 

The Gryffindors journey out of the castle, unsurprised that they meet no resistance.  Well, Sirius and Remus are unsurprised, it would hardly help Dumbledore if his soldiers were to be stopped.

“We move quietly and as one,” Remus tells them all as they reach the exit, then they leave the castle, heading to the forest.

He stops them again at the edge of the forest turning back and looking over everyone.

“Last chance to back out.” No one moves, “Mennään.”

“What now?” Marlene asks, she, James, and a few other confident flyers on their brooms for air support.

“It’s Finnish, it means let’s go.”

“You know some weird shit Remy.” With that, they’re off, heading ever deeper into the forest.

It’s not long before everyone starts jumping at every sound, everyone except the Marauders that is.

“How much time do you lot spend in here?” Henry asks, Peter shrugs.

“We have a…clubhouse, in here that a…former member of our group found back in first year.  We hang out in it once a month while Moony’s visiting his Mum.”

“I’d been wondering where you lot went off to.”

“How come you never invite us?” Mary asks, actually wondering why they don’t bring the others to see Moony in wolf form if the two per moon rule has been lifted.

“Marauders only,” Peter, Sirius, and Remus tell them, James and the other flyers too high to hear them.

“If Remy doesn’t go then why aren’t you afraid?” Scarlet asks, looking at a shadow suspiciously, Remus lets out a derisive chuckle.

“There is very little that frightens me anymore.”  This is another one of those things Remus will one day regret saying.  They continue on in silence, Remus making sure to stop everyone just out of hearing range for humans.

“All right, we need to surround them, shut them in against the lake,” Remus tells them all quietly, easily heard in the forest, he brings forth Moony’s senses, using the ‘night vision’ to see, his hearing to hear where everyone is, and sense of smell to keep track of anything else that may be nearby.  There are Centaurs that he thinks are keeping an eye on the situation in case they need to intervene and defend their home.  _They_ _’_ _ve probably been watching the Death Eaters since they arrived._ Remus thinks. “Everyone start spreading out, arms out, hands touching, that distance apart, and start advancing once everyone’s in position.”

A few minutes later, everyone’s right and they start moving in.  They move in quietly, hoping to catch as many off guard as possible.

“Obliviate.” Many students cast this at once, hitting different people on the first go thanks to the element of surprise, after that the battle began.

Spells, curses, hexes, potions, and a surprisingly well aimed kick to the face from Mary to one of the Death Eaters which knocked the man out cold.

“ _Imperio!_ ” Remus hears, turning to the side and seeing it cast at Sirius, he instinctually jumps in front, putting a hand out as though that would stop it.

“REMY!” Sirius screams as Remus feels the spell hit him, it spreads throughout his body only he feels oddly…empowered, like he’d just gotten a huge boost of energy somehow.  He opens eyes he hadn’t realised he’d closed and sees the battle continuing around him, only Sirius is pointing his wand at Remus now, waiting for him to attack.

“Kill him,” The Death Eater who had tried to curse him says, but Remus doesn’t feel the slightest inclination to follow his command.

“ _Obliviate!_ ” Remus cries as he thrusts a hand in the man’s direction, suddenly he’s on the ground dazed and confused, remembering nothing.  Remus turns around to see Sirius cautiously lower his wand.

“How’d you do that?” Remus shakes his head.

“No idea.”

“Rem, your…your eyes are yellow.”  Remus frowns, then he hears ‘BOMBARDA!’ from behind him and tackles Sirius out of the way, the spell hitting a tree behind him.

“STUPEFY!” Remus calls back, the death eater rolls out of the way, but is distracted enough that Sirius’ ‘obliviate’ hits him as had been Remus’ plan, “Let’s get through this fight, then we’ll work it out, yes?”

“Yes.”

The battle continues, though so far none have died.  Marlene’s broom had exploded into splinters below her, but James had caught her and lowered her to the ground.  Her leg was hurt from the broom breaking but she keeps fighting.

Rather suddenly, Remus feels something within himself begging for him to run, to move, to reach…something before it’s too late.  With a glance to Sirius, fighting beside him, he’s off.  He runs to the other side of the battle where he arrives in time to find Minnie be stabbed with her own wand.

“Stop!” The Death Eater stops, staring blankly at Remus with yellow eyes, he ignores them and skids on his knees to Minnie’s side, “Minnie.”

“Remy…” Remus bites his lip as he watches her fading before his eyes, he doesn’t know any healing spells.

“Minnie, don’t leave me. I-I only just got you.” Minnie’s eyes fill with tears, her hand reaching up to cup his face before it falls and her eyes close, “NO MINNIE!” He shouts, he places a hand on her throat, feeling for a pulse, and he finds it, “Not dead, just unconscious.”  He scrabbles to think of what to do, searching his mind desperately for an idea, _any idea!_ And then it hits him, or rather he leans forward slightly and feels it jab him in the leg.  In her pocket is the potion, the one to undo what was done, “You weren’t hurt before the spell…”

Remus closes his eyes, tears falling, he knows she didn’t want this, but would that still be true if the alternative is death?  He doesn’t know, it should be her choice, she can’t make it.

“Forgive me for this,” He begs her before pulling her wand out of her stomach.  He grabs the vial from her pocket as he puts pressure on the wound, opening the vial and her mouth before pouring the liquid in.  He closes her mouth, massaging her throat in order to make her swallow, “Come on, work, _please work_.  COME ON DAMMIT!” Remus lays his head on her chest as he tries not to cry, “Minerva McGonagall cannot possibly be beaten by a fucking stick!” He cries, he feels a hand come up to his head, patting slightly.

“That is not acceptable language Mr Lupin.”  Remus sits up fast, looking into the face of his teacher.

“Mi-erm-Professor, what’s the last thing you remember?”

“…Mr Snape and Mr Potter arguing while attempting to perform the aging spell.”  It’s then that she pushes him aside while pulling her wand from his hand, aiming it behind him, “STUPEFY!”  A Death Eater hits the ground, Minerva looks around and sees where she is and what is happening.

“Obliviate,” Remus casts to the unconscious Death Eater.

“Mr Lupin what in Godric’s name is going on?” McGonagall demands, Remus takes a breath.

“All due respect Professor, we have bigger worries.  Death Eaters were planning to attack the school, it’s a long story and I’ll explain later but we’re obliviating all of them.  Peter, Mary, and a few others are getting those obliviated out of the forest, I would suggest you join them however I can’t imagine you agreeing to it so I only ask that you not try and stop us.”  Minerva looks him in the eyes for a moment.

_“_ _Minnie, I find that when people do something drastically out of character, there will always be a good reason for it, even if you are unaware of it._ _”_

Minerva isn’t sure where the words come from, but for some reason she holds them close to her heart as she nods.

“I will be getting an explanation from you later whether you wish to give it or not.  For now, I believe we have a battle to win.”

With Minerva McGonagall at their side, they finish off the madness in no time at all, eventually leading the Death Eaters out of the forest and meeting up with the others at the edge of it.

“Professor?” Peter asks as he spots them coming out, they had several injured but for the most part were okay, the now ex-Death Eaters were the same.

“Mr Pettigrew, I have to say, I’m rather surprised to see you involved in all of this, though I’ve no idea what _this_ even is,” She states, gesturing around the place, “I assume you have a plan for what to do with these people?”

“I was planning to take them to Hogsmeade, someone would find them and either contact St Mungos or the Aurors.  Hogwarts won’t even be mentioned,” Remus replies, McGonagall nods.

“Very well.”

They lead everyone into Hogsmeade where they get them to stand together and then re-obliviate them so that they remember none of what happened, then they hurry back to the castle.  They’d had their injured taken straight to the hospital wing, Remus insists McGonagall go there too to be looked over.

 

“Well Minerva, you are in perfect health.  I suppose we can thank Horace’s potion making skills for that.  Now would someone care to explain why I have so many patients?” Poppy demands, Minerva looks to Remus with an expectant look, Dumbledore speaks up from the doorway before he can respond.

“I’m afraid it’s my fault Poppy.  You see, there were warnings given about a Death Eater presence in the forest and I did not take them as seriously as I should have.  It would seem that several students decided to take matters into their own hands and have more than likely saved the school in doing so,” Dumbledore explains, Remus glares at the man, knowing full well he had believed them.

“I assume the two of you are not getting along again, then?” McGonagall asks as she looks between Remus and Albus, Albus raises an eyebrow at Remus who looks him in the eye blandly.

“Pull this shit again and I will eat you on a particularly well lit night.” With that, Remus leaves the hospital wing, having already checked in with everyone from his house.  He’ll be damned if he allows Dumbledore to leave explaining things to Minerva to him again.  _Besides,_ he thinks, _aren_ _’_ _t I the one who lost something tonight?_

 

“How is she?” Lily asks as Remus walks into the common room, most of the house still awake and recuperating, Remus mutters his reply as he continues walking to the dorm.

“Everything is back to normal.”

 

Eight minutes and twelve seconds after he shuts himself into his four poster, Sirius’ head comes in through the curtains and finds him staring at the ceiling glumly.  Sirius sighs as he climbs in, laying next to him and lifting up an arm.  Remus snuggles into his side, resting his head on Sirius’ chest as Sirius strokes his back comfortingly.

“Awh Remy, you just can’t catch a break, can you?” Remus chuckles despite himself, but very quickly that chuckle turns into a broken off sob.

“This is ridiculous, everything is back as it should be, why aren’t I happy?” Sirius sighs, fighting back his own tears.

“Because you cared for her, a lot.  And regardless of whether or not Minnie is still here, our friend and your more than friend is still gone.  I think, all things considered, you weren’t in perhaps the most stable place to begin with, and to now lose something else…you are allowed to be upset Moony.  Just remember that, she may be gone, and maybe Bella, and Derek, and Eleenie, and your Brother, and your innocence and childhood and everything else Greyback took from you is gone, but you are not alone.  You won’t ever be alone.” Remus looks up at him and smiles gratefully.

“You’re a really great friend, you know that, right?” Sirius smiles back, though there is an edge of pain to it that Remus can’t make sense of, he supposes it’s been that sort of night for everyone.

“Yeah, the best.”

 

 

**_DEATH EATERS FOUND IN HOGSMEADE_ **

**_Earlier this morning, thirty-six now former Death Eaters were found in Hogsmeade, dazed and confused. All had undergone a full obliviation._ **

**_While no suspect has been named, one wonders just how far Dumbledore would go to protect his students_ ** **_…_ **

“Unbelievable.  It’s his bloody fault we had to get involved to begin with!” Sirius complains, throwing the paper onto the breakfast table.  Gryffindor was down a few students, still in the hospital wing, but most were there and in high spirits, if tired spirits. 

“Careful Sirius, you’re beginning to sound like Remy,” James tells him, Peter snorts, Remus glares.

“Hey, I can treat you all to a true ‘Remy hates Dumbledore’ rant if you’d like…”

“Nope, we’re good.” Remus snickers into his food.

“JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!” James sits up straight, looking over to his fuming sister who is heading straight for him.

“Your middle name is _Fleamont_?” Frank asks him, James glares at him before standing up to greet his sister.

“Del!  How wonderful to see you again!”

“DEATH EATERS? REALLY?  YOU GO UP AGAINST A GROUP OF DEATH EATERS?  DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?  DAMMIT JAMES DO YOU REALISE WHAT IT WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOUR FAMILY IF WE’D LOST YOU?!”

“They’d have attacked and you may have lost me anyway Del, at least this way we didn’t risk losing you as well.  I could never go through that again.” Del’s face softens.

“I can’t lose my big brother either.  Your life is worth no less than my own Jimmy, never forget that.” James hugs his sister close, she burying her head in his chest and listening to his heart beat for a few moments.

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“I won’t bother telling you not to do that again, it’s in your nature to protect people.  But James, promise me you’ll be careful, promise me you’ll always fight to come home alive.”  James pulls back and holds her shoulders, looking her in the eyes.

“I promise.” She smiles, taking a deep calming breath and nods.

“Good.  Also, good morning everyone,” Del says, only now turning to face the table and everyone else.

“Morning Del,” Remus and Peter say in sync, chuckling at each other afterwards.

“Good morning, did um, did you sleep well?” Sirius asks, stuttering slightly, Marlene hides a snigger in her hand, Del just smiles brightly and nods.

“I did, I suppose you wouldn’t have really had the chance though, would you?  Still, reckless though it may have been, what you did was really brave.  Thank you.” She kisses him on the cheek before heading back to her own table, leaving Sirius with a dopey smile.

“My god you have a giant arse crush on my baby sister.” Sirius sputters at James.

“Wha-? I do not!”

“You so do!”

“Do not!”

“Do too!”

“Children!”

“Sorry Lily/Dear.”

“May I have your attention please,” Dumbledore addresses the hall, everyone falls silent and looks to him, Gryffindor house looking less than impressed, “I am sure you have all heard of last nights…peculiar events.  I would like to thank all of Gryffindor house for their bravery and willingness to protect our school at great risk to themselves.  It is with this in mind that I award 100 points to Gryffindor, fifty points in particular to Remus Lupin, for courage and tactical thinking, and also his selflessness, his constant willingness to sacrifice his own happiness in order to save others.  With those words in mind, I would also like to welcome back Professor Minerva McGonagall to the role of Transfiguration Professor and Deputy Headmistress.”  The hall erupts in cheers, happiness abound, everyone applauding and being entirely ecstatic, Remus included.  McGonagall joins the table, seeming truly touched by it all, Remus can’t help but wonder if she really did realise how much she means to everyone, “Although he has already taken his leave, I would also like to thank Deymour Delurion for acting as transfiguration Professor whilst Professor McGonagall was…shall we say, out of commission.  I do request that the events of last night are kept within this hall, lest the general population grow frenzied.  Finally, I wish to inform you all that the Dark Forest is now forbidden to all students without express permission from a member of the staff.  None are to enter the Forbidden forest. And now, I think this all calls for a celebrational feast!”  With that, an even more extravagant breakfast than usual is placed before them, more cheers erupt.

Remus looks down at his plate.  Unlike anyone else’s, his already has food on it, a quesadilla, there’s a note on the side.

_So that the cheese doesn_ _’_ _t smell like feet._

Remus looks up to McGonagall who shares a secret smile with him and taps her nose once before going back to her conversation with Flitwick.  Remus smiles slightly and goes back to his own conversation and food, putting the note in his pocket.

_You know, I really think that for once, I might just be okay._

 

Later that night, Minerva hears a knock on her office door, she stands and goes to answer it, surprised to find Bellatrix Black on the other side.  Although she remembered snippets of what had happened, she did not remember everything.

“Miss Black, can I help you with something?”  Bellatrix bites her lip as she nods.

“I spoke with your younger self once, yesterday actually.  Among other things she spoke about how she felt of the things she heard about her future-self.  There were things that she was quite worried about, so in case you didn’t remember anything I suggested she write a note that I would deliver once you had been re-aged.” Bellatrix hands over the letter with slightly shaking hands, Minerva accepts it with surprise, when the girl doesn’t leave, Minerva raises an eyebrow at her.

“Is there something else Miss Black?” Bellatrix seems to debate something for a moment before looking up at her Professor.

“One of the things Minnie told me was that she thought you’d lost the passion you had as a child.  Only I don’t think that’s true, she never really knew much about you, and really, neither do I.  What I do know is that the school could not be happier to have you back, now I don’t know if you agree with Minnie’s assessment of yourself, but one thing I do know, is that no one garners that kind of respect if they aren’t damned good at what they do.  To be that good you have to be pretty passionate about what you’re doing.  She spoke about your island and how she felt you’d abandoned your people.  I don’t know why you are here and not there, but I don’t think you abandoned your people, I think we are your people and that’s why you are here, caring for all of us as you do.  You see, you aren’t just a Professor to a lot of us, you are the Mother we were never fortunate enough to have.  You may not have ever had a child of your own Professor, but never doubt you have raised a lot of people who love you very much, and all of whom are very glad to have you back.”  With that, the girl leaves.

Minerva stands in her office doorway for a moment, looking at the note she had written to herself and deciding that perhaps, what needed to be said already had been.  She places the note in her top desk draw and gets ready for bed.

She lays down that night, closing her eyes and for once, she has no regrets.

 

Should she have read that note she would have seen a small paragraph from a teenager that knew nothing about her attempting to tell her how to live her life, but below that was something she’ll never know is there.

_Bella is in terrible trouble, please Minnie, save her._

 

 

As Minerva falls asleep happily, Severus finds himself tossing and turning, eventually giving up and grabbing James’ cloak.  He leaves Gryffindor tower and walks out into the courtyard for some fresh air, removing the cloak despite the risk of getting caught.  He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, opening them again and gasping, falling back as he looks around.

The courtyard is in shambles, a great battle being fought.  He sees trolls, and many carrying the Dark mark.  He sees students, and McGonagall, and people he thinks he recognises but can’t place fighting side by side.  He sees a boy who looks like James running through the battle,

“Avada Kedavra,” He hears the boy say, so easily tumbling from his mouth and ending a life.  He sees dead, everywhere.  He turns around, heading into the castle slightly and seeing the battle fought in there too, he sees a grown man with Remy’s scars and somehow knows it’s him.  He sees him die.

“NOOOOOO!” He screams, dropping to his knees as his friend falls.  He shuts his eyes as his hands go over his ears and he shakes his head repeatedly.  When he dares open them again, it’s all gone.  He rises quickly, rushing back to the courtyard to find everything back in it’s place, no trace of a battle at all.

Severus sprints all the way back to the common room, jumping through the portrait hole and running up he stairs.  He doesn’t bother to be quiet as he throws the door open, it slamming against the wall and waking all four occupants of the room up instantly.  His eyes find Remus’ and he finally breathes.

“Severus, what’s happening?  Are you all right?” James asks, coming to his boyfriend’s side instantly.  Severus shakes his head back and forth violently as tears stream down his face.

“No,” he sobs out, only it isn’t so much an answer to James’ question as it is a promise, what he saw would never come to pass.

 _Never_.


	29. Visions

****

Chapter 29

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

After finally calming down, Severus insists that he’d had a nightmare and panicked.  No one believes him, there is a very large difference between panic, and total hysteria.  Severus says he’s fine.  They all know he is not.

Still, three weeks have passed since that night that seemed to have changed everything, yet truly, nothing is different.  In fact, everything is more the same than it has ever been.  McGonagall is back, Severus and Sirius are arguing again, Severus and Lucius are not talking in clandestine meetings, and Alice seems to have grown closer to the group once more, only this time she brings Frank with her.

 

“Today we begin a new lesson.  There are many curses out there, some minor enough that you use them on each other, others so very horrible that the Ministry has outlawed them in their entirety.  Three of these such curses are worse than all the others, they are referred to as the Unforgivables,” Cygnus Black begins in the group’s fifth year DADA lesson.  He has the attention of the entire class, “Each are dark and twisted in their own way, the most…kind one, in my opinion, is called the Killing curse, the spell of which is avada kedavra.  It stops its victims heart and kills them instantly.”

“Sir, how can a spell that kills someone be the kindest of the three?” Mary asks in disbelief, Cygnus looks around the class for a moment before he leans back against his desk and crosses his arms.

“Let’s say you have three options.  The worst pain imaginable, someone controlling your mind and ordering you about without you having the slightest chance to fight back, or death.  Which would you choose?”  The class is silent for a moment.

“Pain,” Remus replies, Cygnus raises an eyebrow at him, “It’s horrible, but potentially temporary.  Death is permanent, pain still holds the potential for the future being better than the present.  Death takes that option away entirely.”

“Yet there is an option available that has no pain for you at all.”

“But would give someone the chance to have me inflict pain or death on others, even friends.  I would rather the worst pain imaginable be felt by me than them, especially by my own hand.” Cygnus nods slightly.

“To each their own I suppose, though I do wonder how long you would hold onto your hope for a better future were you to actually be subjected to the Cruciatus curse, spell being crucio.  Now, given the current state of the world, I have permission from the Headmaster to cast the third curse on each of you, the Imperius curse, spell is Imperio.  It will allow me to control your mind. I shall only do so for a minute or so before releasing you, but it will allow you to recognise the feeling.  It _is_ possible to fight back against this curse, break it, usually only for a few moments but those few moments could one day make the difference.”  The class gasps, all privately, some not so privately, thinking Dumbledore has officially lost his marbles, “Any volunteers to go first?”  Severus wonders who in their right mind would volunteer for this, “Mr Lupin, perhaps you would save someone else from having to go first?  You do seem to enjoy playing the part of the hero.”  Remus frowns, Severus considers his question answered, sure that if Cygnus hadn’t suggested it, Remus would surely have volunteered anyway for that exact reason.

 “ _Imperio_.” Remus puts a hand out on what looks like instinct, Severus sees the curse hit him and watches as the light from the curse seems to be absorbed by him, “Stand on the table.” Remus raises an eyebrow at him, smirking cockily.

“Why don’t _you_?” Remus asks, eyes holding the same yellow they had twice before.  Cygnus’ eyes flash yellow before he climbs onto the table, then he blinks and looks to Remus in bewilderment and something akin to fear.

“How did you do that?” Remus’ eyes widen as well, the cockiness falling as he takes a step back.

“I have no idea.”

Severus blinks rapidly, looking around in confusion as he finds himself in the Great Hall, eating breakfast once more.

“Honey?” Lily asks, looking at Severus in concern, Severus just looks to Remus.

“Remus, if you go back to the dorm and stay there all day I’ll tell all of you what’s been bothering me, after dinner.”  Remus looks at him in a mixture of confusion and surprise, opening his mouth to no doubt question his friend, Severus holds a hand up to stop him, “Please.”  Remus frowns for a moment before he grabs a piece of toast and leaves the Hall.

 

“Today we begin a new lesson.  There are many curses out there, some minor enough that you use them on each other, others so very horrible that the ministry has outlawed them in their entirety.  Three of these such curses are worse than all the others, they are referred to as the Unforgivables,” Cygnus Black begins in the group’s fifth year DADA lesson.  He has the attention of the entire class, “Each are dark and twisted in their own way, the most…kind one, in my opinion, is called the Killing curse, the spell of which is avada kedavra.  It stops its victims heart and kills them instantly.”

“Sir, how can a spell that kills someone be the kindest of the three?” Mary asks in disbelief, Cygnus looks around the class for a moment before he leans back against his desk and crosses his arms.

“Let’s say you have three options.  The worst pain imaginable, someone controlling your mind and ordering you about without you having the slightest chance to fight back, or death.  Which would you choose?”  The class is silent, no one answers, Cygnus nods, “An impossible choice I suppose.  Now, given the current state of the world, I have permission from the Headmaster to cast the third curse on each of you, the Imperius curse, spell is Imperio.  It will allow me to control your mind. I shall only do so for a minute or so before realising you, but it will allow you to recognise the feeling.  It _is_ possible to fight back against this curse, break it, usually only for a few moments but those few moments could one day make the difference.  Any volunteers to go first?”

“I will,” Severus volunteers, Remus may not be there but he still feels the need to ensure no one else is forced to do this first. _I suppose I mustn_ _’_ _t be in my right mind either then,_ He thinks to himself.

“Thank you, Severus, if you’ll please step forth.” Severus walks up to the front of the class, feeling half the class’ worried eyes and the others intrigued as he stands before them, he ignores both along with the desperately confused and scared eyes of his two partners, “ _Imperio_.”  Severus feels a sudden lethargy overcome him, he’s surprised in all honesty that he can tell he’s under the curse, he just doesn’t particularly care.

_Aren_ _’_ _t I meant to be fighting this?_

“Stand up on the table.”  Severus looks to the table in question, walking towards it all the while thinking, _I don_ _’_ _t want to do this._  Yet he keeps walking, as he goes to step onto the chair to get on the table Severus falters.

“Why?” This question burns through his mind as he whispers it aloud.

“ _Stand on the table_.” _STAND ON THE TABLE! STAND ON THE TABLE! STAND ON THE TABLE!_

_WHY?! I have a reason for everything I do, so TELL ME WHY!_

“ _Stand on the table!_ ” Severus steps onto the chair before he falters again, _Why?_ He thinks this question is his saving grace, his lifeline as it were, the only thing allowing him to fight back.  Sure, he wants to do it, feels as though he needs to, and doesn’t truly understand why he’s asking.  But although he cannot help but want to follow through, and the curse makes him not care about being under a curse, it does not stop him from asking _why_.  He turns and faces Cygnus, frowning slightly.

“Why?” Cygnus looks at him, contemplatively.

“Because I told you to.”

“Why?” Severus’ mind isn’t even truly working anymore, just that question on loop in his head not allowing room for anything else.

“ _Stand. On. The. Table._ ” Severus turns back, a foot lifting to stand on the table when he stops again, he grits his teeth and forces his foot back down on the chair, repeating his mantra in his head _why, why, why, why, why?!_ He looks at the class and sees Lily watching him, afraid.  He doesn’t have a why, he has a why not.

“No.” He gets off of the chair and walks towards his desk.

“Stop.” Severus stops, _I don_ _’_ _t want you to be just another dead flower to me._   He walks again and takes his seat, he feels the curse be lifted, “Well done, I’m impressed.”  Severus takes a few deep breaths, feeling as though a weight has been lifted off of him as a headache grows strongly, he drops his head to the table, “Would you care to tell the class how you did that?” Severus doesn’t move his head.

“Honestly Professor, the only thing I know for sure right now is that you’re an arsehole and I hate this entire lesson.” Cygnus’ lips quirk at that slightly.

“A known side effect to the Imperius curse, fought or not, is an emotional flux.  In essence, don’t be surprised if all of you are rather more moody than normal, especially those who fight it off the strongest.”

No one else manages to fight it off until it gets to Peter.

“Stand on the table.” Peter just looks at Cygnus in consideration, then he walks over to the desk and turns the desk over before standing on the underside of it.

“Pete, what the fuck are you doing?” James asks him.

“Standing on a table.” Everyone still looks at him in confusion and like he’s insane, he shrugs, “You’re the one that always says rules are outlines and subject to interpretation.  He said to stand on the table, he didn’t say _how_.  I couldn’t fight it off, didn’t mean I couldn’t purposefully interpret the order differently to how it was given.” James chuckles and shakes his head fondly.

“Really _wormed_ your way out of that one, didn’t ya?”  Peter blushes.

“W-Well Severus fought it off properly so…can I go sit down now Professor?”  Cygnus lifts the curse and nods, Peter returns to his desk gratefully.

“Yes, how _did_ you do that Sev?” Mary asks him, Severus sighs, the effort he’d expended once again weighing him down.

“I questioned why, and I didn’t stop.  In the end I didn’t have a reason why, but I had a reason why not.  It was hard and draining, I don’t think I could have kept it up much longer but, Professor Black is right, that time could have made all the difference.  I mean, imagine what could have been done in a different situation in the few moments I had control.”

“What was your reason why not?” Cygnus asks him curiously, though more than that he was concerned that his youngest may work out how to break the curse he and the Lestrange boy had over her.  Severus chuckles slightly as he grabs Lily’s hand.

“I didn’t want to be a dead flower.”  No one else understands the words, but all can see it has something to do with Lily.  James feels jealousy stirring within himself and sighs.  They had all known such feelings were bound to come up eventually and had promised to speak to the other two as soon as it occurred so that they could work out how to deal with it together, but James had privately hoped he wouldn’t be the first to do so, it just seemed like such a _he_ thing to do and he wanted to be better for them.

Cygnus looks at his daughter, who seemed deep in thought at the back of the class, and decided he needn’t worry.  Afterall, if love is what it’s about, well, she’s no doubt been thinking of her half-blood for over a year.  If it were to work, it would have long ago.  Bellatrix meets her father’s eye and immediately looks away, feeling tears filling her eyes until the order not to cry fills her mind and they instantly dry.

 _Ask why, huh?  All right then, why can_ _’_ _t I cry?  Because it will draw attention.  Don_ _’_ _t stop asking why.  Why can_ _’_ _t I draw attention?  Because someone will realise what_ _’_ _s happening.  Why can_ _’_ _t anyone realise?  Because they_ _’_ _ll stop it.  Well that doesn_ _’_ _t help, I_ want _it to stop, don_ _’_ _t I?  Is that what I should be questioning?  Life is calm and I never have to think, why do I want it to go?  But no, because Severus could never be content like I am_ _…_ _or am supposed to be? Wait_ _…_ _what was I questioning again?  Why can_ _’_ _t I cry, why, why, why? I want to cry, why can_ _’_ _t I?  He won_ _’_ _t let me._ She startles out of her mind at that realisation, after all, his will is all that really has a say here, so _of course_ that’s why she can’t cry.  He won’t let her, _But what does he get out of me not crying?_ She questions, distantly realising class is over and she’s walking with Avery and Knott to the next.

 _He gets to keep you,_ Her mind supplies.

 _Yes but, what does he want with me?  Wait, does that count as questioning why? Oh what does it matter anymore?_ She flexes her wrist slightly and feels a tug at her healing cuts and blinks, feeling tears fill her eyes before the order redoes itself, apparently she has a new standing order, ‘Don’t cry’.

_“_ _Do not cry, Blacks do not cry.  A Black is no weak girl Bellatrix, you will learn to be a Black or you will wish you had.  Do you understand me?!_ _”_ _Druella Black screams at her six-year-old daughter, little Bellatrix hears her eldest sister yelling at their Father to let her through, to stop their Mother, to help Bellatrix._

Present day Bellatrix sighs, _nothing ever really changes_ , does it?

 

“All right Severus, it’s after dinner.  Tell us what’s been going on.”  Severus sighs, honestly unsure who exactly had spoken, as he walks over to his bed and just collapses onto it, leaning his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands, weariness overtaking him.

“I don’t know,” He says in a voice choked full of emotion, “But something is very wrong with me,” He tells them in almost a whisper, he looks over at his group of friends with tears in his eyes.  Lily and James come over, Lily sitting beside him and holding him as James kneels in front of him and takes his hands.

“What are you talking about Severus?” Frank looks around the room, feeling out of place and awkward before realising that this is what it means to be in the groups, instant acceptance that lasts a lifetime.  He doesn’t understand how Severus could have turned on them before, yet now he understands how it is they forgave him.  He doesn’t understand how Bellatrix could have left this, but now he knows for sure that everyone in this room would welcome her back should she so choose, including him.  Severus sighs as he answers his boyfriend’s question.

“Three weeks ago I couldn’t sleep, I got up and took your cloak to go for a walk.  I got out to the courtyard and everything was fine but then…it wasn’t…” Severus trails off as he remembers what he saw, everyone else realises this will be a rather long explanation and finds a seat, ready to listen intently, “I…I wasn’t seeing the courtyard anymore, or at least, not as it is now.”

“What did you see?” Sirius asks when Severus doesn’t continue, sure they’re arguing right now, but in this moment Sirius couldn’t give the furry little crack of a rats behind because Severus is distressed and Severus is never distressed.

“A battle, a horrible battle.  It was still Hogwarts only it…oh god it was horrible okay?!  It was so fucking _horrible_ and _wrong_!  This is my school, this is my home and it was-it was _ruined_ and the dead were everywhere, and more were dying, my god there were students fighting and killing and _being killed_!” Everyone looks slowly more horrified as Severus continues but they wisely choose to remain quiet, “I saw R…well, who I think was Remy only…older.  I-I,” Severus looks at Remus’ face, holding eye contact, “I saw you die.”  Lily holds Severus tighter as Sirius grabs Remus’ hand, Remus blinks a few times before he takes a deep breath.

“Okay, so what happened this morning?” Severus takes a few moments to compose himself, Lily looking vaguely annoyed at Remus’ handling of the situation despite being used to his occasional total lack of empathy.

“I didn’t even realise anything was happening at first to be honest, I was just eating breakfast and then we went to class and Professor Black told us we were learning about the unforgivables.  Some stuff happened in lesson and then I was in the Great Hall at breakfast again.”

“Which is when you told me to stay behind?” Remus asks, Severus nods.  Everyone looks around the room contemplatively, Severus misinterprets this.

“You guys don’t believe me.”

“It’s not that we don’t believe you Sev, we just can’t work out what this could mean,” Frank tells him, surprising himself, Severus nods before he suddenly turns to Remus again.

“Can I use a piece of parchment and a pen?” Remus grabs said objects out of his pocket and hands them to Peter who hands them to James who gives it to Severus. Severus quickly writes something down and then gives it to Lily who frowns at it while he looks back to Remus once more, “Remy, let’s say you have three options.  The worst pain imaginable, someone controlling your mind and ordering you about without you having the slightest chance to fight back, or death.  Which would you choose?” Remus goes quiet, contemplating the question.  Frank thinks it’s really rather brilliant that the boy assumes there is a reason and doesn’t waste time asking for it, merely assuming either everything will become clear or he doesn’t really need to know and trusting Severus to know the difference.

“Pain.”

“Why?” Lily asks him, looking away from the parchment to look at him with interest.

“It’s horrible, but potentially temporary.  Death is permanent, pain still holds the potential for the future being better than the present.  Death takes that option away entirely.” Lily looks down to the parchment, eyes wide in surprise before looking to Severus and then back to the parchment, reading off of it.

“Yet there is an option available that has no pain for you at all,” She reads, Remus raises an eyebrow however responds, she speaks at the exact same time.

“But would give someone the chance to have me inflict pain or death on others, even friends.  I would rather the worst pain imaginable be felt by me than them, especially by my own hand.” They both say, everyone looks to Severus who swallows harshly.

“I saw the future.  I don’t want what I saw three weeks ago to be the future as well.”

“Why do I feel like you left out the worst part of both these…visions?” Marlene asks him, he sighs.

“For instance, why did that lesson make you tell Remus to stay behind?” Peter inquires, Severus looks pained for a moment.

“Can I speak to Remus on his own for a moment?” He asks, so many possibilities running through his head that he can barely think.  He shakes his head, clearing it, and refocuses to see everyone gone and Remus leaning against the wall at the head of his bed.

“What’s up?”

“Why doesn’t the Imperius curse work on you?” Remus narrows his eyes in suspicion.

“I don’t know.”

“But you know it doesn’t.” Remus looks to the ground contemplatively before nodding and looking back up.

“A Death Eater tried to curse Sirius, I jumped in the way of it but…it didn’t take hold.  Nothing happened save for my eyes going yellow.”

“Like they did with the Boggart?” Remus nods, Severus frowns, “Could you have imperio-d the boggart?”

“Severus, Boggarts aren’t technically intelligent beings, they’re non-human spiritous apparitions, they don’t have a true mind to control.”

“But if some being had a special power to do with this curse, if they were impervious to it, don’t you think they might be able to do other things with it?  Control things others couldn’t or…or…”

“…or…?” Remus asks, mostly just humouring him at this point.

“Or break it.” Severus’ eyes widen as he stands up, “You might be able to break it.”  Remus stands up straighter, pushing off from the wall and clearing his throat.

“Why would I want to?” Severus’ expression falls slightly, “Well?  Who exactly is it I’m un-imperio-ing?” Severus’ eyes widen in a completely different fashion as he starts panicking, Remus puts his hands out in a rather un-inviting invitational gesture, “Well?” He steps forward, Severus steps away and gulps.

“…No one, I just meant in general, you know, useful skill to have.”

“Severus.”

“Yes Remus?”

“What have you done?” Severus stops short.

“I-what?  You-You think I could _ever_ do that to someone?”

“Well what the hell else am I meant to think right now Severus?  Obviously you haven’t done it or you’d lift the curse yourself, but you’re quite clearly involved in something you shouldn’t be, and, creepy visions aside, _that_ seems to have a lot more to do with what’s going on right now than anything else.”

“Oh you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about Lupin!”

“ _Then enlighten me_.” Severus bites his lip angrily to stop himself from spewing it all out. “Come on, you don’t want me to jump to conclusions, give me another fucking conclusion.  What the _hell_ is going on Severus Snape?!”

“WHAT’S GOING ON?  I’M HAVING FREAKY ARSE VISIONS OF FUTURES, ONE OF WHICH INVOLVED SEEING SOMETHING I NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN BECAUSE IT WAS SO HORRIBLE AND SICKENING I’VE HAD NIGHTMARES EVER FUCKING SINCE.  AND THE OTHER SHOWS MY FRIEND HAVING SOME OTHER FREAKY ARSE POWER THAT I DON’T THINK HE CAN EXPLAIN, THAT’S WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!” Severus takes a breath to calm himself, it’s a few moments before either speaks again.

“You’re right.  I can’t explain it.  Will you tell me what happened in the class that didn’t happen?” Severus sits back down, Remus sitting beside him on the bed.

“You went first when he was casting the Imperius spell on us individually.”

“He was what?”

“Just, let me get through this and then I’ll tell you what happened in our actually lesson,” Remus agrees so he continues, “You went first, he cast it and you put your hand out like it would stop the spell.  When the spell hit you it just seemed to sort of…be absorbed into your body, then your eyes went yellow.  Black told you to stand on the table and you just smirked at him and said ‘why don’t _you_?’, his eyes flashed yellow before returning to normal, and then he stood on the table,” Remus’ eyes widen as Severus continues, “He seemed to snap out of it a moment later, he looked at you in confusion but…he also seemed afraid, he asked how you did that and the smirk and cockiness just seemed to melt out of you, like you hadn’t meant to do any of it and you’d just realised what you’d done.  That’s when you seemed afraid too, you said you didn’t know.  I blinked and suddenly I was seeing the Great Hall again.”  Severus then goes on to tell him what happened during the actual lesson, Remus staying quiet throughout the entire thing.  At the end, Remus lets out a breath and rubs his forehead index finger and thumb before breathing in and then sighing.

“I need a damned drink.” Severus chuckles.

“You know what, me too.” They both laugh.

 

That’s the night they found out Severus is allergic to alcohol.  It’s also the night they find out keeping alcohol in the dorm is enough to warrant detention every Thursday for the rest of the term, and the night McGonagall finds out there’s only six weeks of term left.  All in all, everyone’s glad James decided to take the fall for it all when he took Severus to the hospital.  If only so that no one else’s room was searched.

 

“Maybe we should tell Dumbledore,” Peter suggests a few days later when he’s playing wizards chess with Severus.  Alice and Frank being coupley, Remus teaching James and Marlene to braid hair using Sirius, Lily, and Mary as their models.

“No.” James raises an eyebrow at Remus, accidentally tugging on Lily’s hair too hard.

“Sorry Dear.  So, you’re hating Dumbledore again?”

“Have been for a while.”

“Not without reason,” Sirius points out in his defence, Remus scoffs.

“It was never without reason.”

“Um, Remy?” Remus looks up at Scarlet’s call, she points to the portrait hole just as Bellatrix rushes in looking frantic, the whole common room looks to her in shock.

“James, you need to come with me, Del’s in the hospital.” James shoots up immediately, sprinting through the hole, Bellatrix rushing behind him and leaving a room of confusion in their wake.

“What happened, Bella?” James asks as they run.

“Some jackarse was being a jackarse and her friend, the Riddle kid, tried to defend her and made things worse.  Lestrange and I were walking to the library when we saw it all happening, I tried to calm everyone down but I didn’t get there in time,” She tells him, suddenly looking sheepish when he casts a glance her way, “I _may_ have hexed a third year.  Slughorn isn’t happy.” James chuckles as they finally stop running outside the hospital.

“Bella…” She folds her arms over her chest and raises an eyebrow at him expectantly, he smiles softly at her, “Thanks for trying to help Del.” She nods.

“Well, I was hardly going to leave her to fend for herself.  Anyway, I have to go before Lestrange wonders where I am, doesn’t really like me consorting with Gryffindors.”

“And you can’t make the decision for yourself?” James asks her, Bellatrix frowns, suddenly looking defeated and sad.

“No, I really can’t.”

“Then why are you here now?” Bellatrix smiles sadly and shrugs as she starts walking backwards and away.

“Because my friend needed me, so _why not_?” Then she leaves, James frowns before deciding he’ll worry about it later, right now his sister needs him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well congratulations to me for finishing all my re-writes, this story is now re-completed! Woohoo!


	30. The Tale Of Del Potter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got some reviews alerting me to a typo. Casually had this twenty years later than intended. Funny how one number in a date can make such a difference ahah. Anyway, thank you to the two people who let me know!

Chapter 39

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

1st September 1975

Delilah Ann Potter groans as she wakes up, which is odd, because she can’t remember the last time she groaned.  She opens her eyes and immediately closes them, the light is so blinding.  She can’t remember the last time she opened her eyes.

 _What_ _’_ _s going on?_ She wonders, _Am I truly waking up?_

Delilah Ann Potter has not been awake since she was nine, just over five years ago.  She knows this because her brother had insisted people tell her the date when they speak to her, a fact of which she was always grateful, and the last date she had heard was the 31st of August.  Unless she’s missed a day of awareness, today is the day her brother starts his fifth year of Hogwarts.  She’s happy for him, really, but no one can fault her for the slight flare of jealousy.  Well, not jealousy, jealousy implies she wants it for herself instead of for him, but…longing perhaps.  Longing to be there with him.

She opens her eyes again, a hand coming up to shield them from the light, only her movements are sloppy and she winds up dropping her hand onto her own face.

“Ow.” Talking hurts, she hasn’t done it in a while and to say her throat is dry and voice cracked would be the understatement of the century.

“Del?” Her Mother’s voice asks, she smiles.  She feels a straw being pushed against her lips, “Drink, slowly.” She does so.  The moment the water hits her mouth she wants to gulp down the entire cup, or bottle, she’s not sure, her eyes are closed again and her hand is still over her face.  But her mother said drink slowly and so she does.

Delilah Ann Potter always does as she is told.

 

It’s three weeks before she’s allowed to leave the hospital, and even then she has instructions to take it easy and several potions she’s to drink daily.  Still, she’s glad to be home, even if home isn’t quite home without her brother.

 

The day after she gets home, after a long night of Del being petrified to fall asleep in case she doesn’t wake up again, as she had been for three weeks, an old man with a long beard appears at their front door.

“Delilah, it’s wonderful to meet you.  I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts.”  Del feels a strange and almost overpowering need to bow before the man, but she doesn’t, that would be strange even for her.  She holds a hand out to him.

“It an honour to meet you Headmaster Dumbledore, but please, call me Del.”

That day Dumbledore asks Del all kinds of questions, she works out pretty quickly he’s gauging her knowledge level.  When he leaves he and her parents set a time and date for her to complete a number of tests to find her place within Hogwarts, tests she is _more_ than happy to complete.

“I-I can still go?” She asks the man, hopeful tears in her eyes, he smiles at her and kneels down before her, a hand on her shoulder.

“Delilah, Hogwarts has always been a place where people can find help.  You’ve missed out on a lot, I wish to help make sure you don’t miss out on anything more.  Besides, I have a slight ulterior motive.”

“What’s that?” His eyes twinkle as though they are sharing an inside joke.

“I’m hoping your presence in my school will help keep your brother in line.” Del giggles at that, Dumbledore smiling in indulgence and amusement before he nods to her and her parents and leaves.

 

A week later she’s off her restrictions and has gotten her parents to agree to take her to Diagon Alley.  After all, she needs a wand if she’s to complete Dumbledore’s tests.

 

“Ah, Hello, who might we have here?” A funny man in a wand shop asks, Del looks to her parents who nod for her to answer the question.

“Delilah Potter, Sir.” She holds a hand out which makes him smile as he shakes it.

“A very polite young girl, it is very nice to meet you Miss Potter, I am Garrick Ollivander.  Now, I do believe you are in need of a wand, yes?”

“Yes, Sir,” She responds with a bright grin, he nods as he grabs a few things.

“Which is your wand hand?” Del frowns.

“I’m not sure.”

“Well which hand do you write with?” Del looks nervous, fiddling with her fingers.

“Um, both, Sir.” She hears her Father snort in amusement and her Mother hit him.

“Monty, honestly.” She giggles at the two, Mr Ollivander looking as amused as she feels.

“Well then Miss Potter, I want you to close your eyes,” She does so, “Take three deep breaths and focus your mind on your heart beating,” She does, “Now put a hand on your heart.  Good, now open your eyes.”  She blinks her eyes open and sees the funny man looking at her with pride, “That, my dear, is your wand hand.”  She follows his finger, pointing at her chest where her hand is still over her heart, her left hand.  She smiles and drops her hand, nodding.  It felt right.  Suddenly a measuring tape is measuring her hand and arm and wrist and head before going back onto the desk all by itself. 

Mr Ollivander goes into the shelves, looking through a few wands before coming back with one, nodding to himself.

“I do believe, that this is yours.”  Del looks at the wand in his hands, scrunching her nose slightly.

“It looks like a stick.” Monty laughs at Ollivander’s indulgent look as he calls her forward into one of the rows.

“Have a look around you child, what do you see?”

“A bunch of boxes with sticks in them?” She asks, he nods.

“Now close your eyes,” She does, “Breath it all in, what do you _feel_?”

Del doesn’t know what she’s meant to be feeling, she feels around for something before remembering something her brother told her when teaching her how to fly.

 _You_ _’_ _re trying too hard to control it, to make it happen.  Just let it flow and off you_ _’_ _ll go._

Del takes another breath and releases it along with the effort she was putting in to find what she was looking for, instead simply feeling what she already felt.  That’s when it hits her, the colours, the swirl, the power, and all of it unique.  So many choices, so much _life_ in the shelves around her.  She opens her eyes and looks around in amazement.  These aren’t sticks, they’re tiny beings in their own right, ready and waiting to choose a wizard with whom they shall stay.  Someone to bind themselves with, someone who matches them and to whom they match.

Del turns back to Ollivander who smiles kindly at her.

“Now you understand.”  She smiles at him and nods, he holds her wand out to her again, “Cypress wood, unicorn hair core, 12 1/4", Quite bendy flexibility.”  She takes it and holds it in her hand, she feels it thrum through her, then through everything else in the store.  The other wands seem excited for the match, she does too.

“What does all that mean?  The wood, the hair, the length, the rigidness. What does it change?”

“It’s a rare witch or wizard who asks me that.”

“After what you just helped me see, how could I not?” He looks her over contemplatively for a moment before he nods and walks her back to the front of the shop, writing a short list before handing it, her wand, and an old book over to her.

“That’s a list of books on wandlore I think you may be interested in, and this is a book of my own.  Not many will care enough to try and understand it, but I sense you are different Miss Potter.”  She smiles at him and nods, taking it all from him.

“Thank you Mr Ollivander.”  He nods back at her.  After her wand is paid for and she and her parents begin leaving the shop, he calls out to her.

“You are welcome here any time Miss Potter.” She smiles a big grin at him and waves good bye, he waves back.

 

A week later she’s read one of the books Mr Ollivander had recommended and is well into the second on the list.  She’s saving the book he gave her for last, thinking some background knowledge may make it easier to understand.

But not today, today she has her tests for Hogwarts.  Her brother has spoken to her at length about his studies over the years so she’s not as hopelessly lost as she would have been otherwise.

Three days later she’s been accepted into Third Year beginning in the new term, provided they can find a willing tutor to help her along.  Her parents don’t seem worried so she decides to leave it in their capable hands.

 

They collect everything she’ll need for school a day later, and then it’s just to wait.

She goes in for a check up and gets the final all clear, then spends her time catching up on things she’s missed over the past five years, and reading through the books the night before her Brother returns.  She finishes them all but decides to wait on reading Mr Ollivander’s until she gets to Hogwarts.

 

Her parents don’t allow her to go pick her brother up from the train station, Diagon Alley had overwhelmed her some after her five years of relative isolation and quiet and dark, she couldn’t really argue against the train station likely producing much the same result.

She and her mother wait in the loungeroom, Del pacing nervously before they finally hear a _Crack!_ Of an apparition and her brother is before her.

“James!”  Del leaps at her brother who catches her easily.

“Del!  Oh Del, I was so worried and I missed you so much!”

“I could hear you James, I could always hear you.  Thank you, thank you so much for everything you did.”  James holds her tighter.

“You’d have done it for me.”

 

He’s careful around her for the next few days which is a tad annoying but it comes from love and worry so she doesn’t complain, three days later she’s apparently proven herself okay and he’s back to his normal self despite their parents’ protests.  She shows him her wand which he thinks is ‘wicked cool’, and she tells him all about his own wand and then shows him the books she’d gotten and the conversation with Mr Ollivander.  He doesn’t show much interest in wandlore but happily learns about it and borrows some of her books so that he can properly converse with her about it.  He tells her all about Hogwarts (Though he had done so while she was asleep in the hospital but that’s beside the point) and takes her flying and at night when their parents thought them asleep he tells her everything about his friends he couldn’t before.  About his relationship with Lily and Severus, about Sirius’ family and how much he worries for both he and Reg, about Remus’ Lycanthropy (He’d written and gotten permission from Remus before doing so), and about Minnie and everything else he can think of.  She listens to it with rapt attention, more excited than ever about Christmas Eve being only a day away.

 

Christmas morning the floo activates at eleven in the morning, only no one was set to arrive for another half an hour.

“Phia!” Euphemia calls happily as she walks into the loungeroom.

“Hi Euphemia, sorry I’m so early.”

“Oh nonsense, you know you’re always welcome here.  Come through Dear.”

“PHIA!” James yells as he jumps up out of his seat at the dining room table where he’d been going through one of his Quidditch books with his sister.  He rushes over to her and hugs her tightly, Del looks the girl over, she seems just as happy to see James as he is to see her.

“Hiya, I found the village.”

“I am so very proud.” Phia laughs and punches James in the shoulder lightly, he laughs too.

“Hi, you must be Del.  I’m Phia Lupin, it’s wonderful to meet you.”  Del smiles at the girl as she gets up and walks over to greet her properly.

“It’s nice to meet you too Phia.”

 

The three chat, mostly about Quidditch but both girls make an effort to get to know each other as well.  Half an hour later they’re laughing about James’ first time on a broom when, despite doing well and not falling, he screamed the entire time.  Then the floo activates and more people arrive.

While Phia gives her explanation, Del looks around at the people as she holds her brother’s hand tightly.  She wouldn’t call herself shy, not really, but crowds weren’t exactly her thing.

From the scars, it’s easy to see which one is Remus Lupin, though he looks nothing like his twin.  He seems to stand tall and happy while introducing Minnie, who Del knows to be the de-aged Minerva McGonagall, and Phia, yet draws into himself the moment his presence isn’t truly required.  In fact his general happy aura shifts and suddenly he seems…sad.  Del doesn’t like it when people are sad, it’s her least favourite thing.

As her Brother introduces her, she pays special attention to Severus and Lily, they seemed nice and Lily had been glad to meet her.

Then two boys stumble out of the floo, the elder one stuttering when he sees her.  She thinks he’s funny.

“Hi, I’m Del Potter.”

“Right, um, hi, I, er, already said that didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did,” Del replies, smiling brightly in amusement.

“Erm, I-I’m Sirius, Sirius Black.” Del matches the name to she stories she’s heard and knows that this is her brother’s best friend, though Phia could arguably take that place as well.

“Nice to meet you Sirius Black.”

“And-and you Del.” They smile at each other, Sirius blushing slightly, Del thinks it’s sort of cute though she can feel her Brother being less than impressed, she doesn’t know why.

“Hey Sirius, how’s Marlene?” James asks him pointedly, he cringes, Del frowns in concern.

“Oh, um, fine, I think?  We uh, we broke up.” Del grimaces as her brother does, that doesn’t really sound pleasant.  Then again, the last time she was awake she was nine-years-old so what would she know about relationships?

“Sorry to hear about that.”

“No it’s, it’s all good.  We’re friends and we both agreed that was the most important thing.  Met up to talk about it all and ended up just going to a movie and hanging out as friends, was a good time.”  Del thinks if that’s the case then maybe they weren’t great as boyfriend and girlfriend, but James had said they were good for each other.  She thinks it might be a long time before she thinks of anything like that.  The healers had said she would find herself maturing later than her peers but she didn’t mind, everyone had always said she was naïve and innocent anyway.

“That’s good, I’m glad you guys are okay,” Lily comments, Sirius smiles and nods, he does truly seem happy about it.

“Me too.  Also, hello everyone I have so far completely ignored rather rudely.  Merry Christmas!”  Del laughs as everyone else does before everyone else starts talking, Remus smiles at Sirius.

“Merry Christmas,” He tells Sirius who smiles widely at him, Del giggles.  Her parents smile at each other that way, she wonders if people can be boyfriend and boyfriend and can’t think why not.

 

Throughout the day Del finds herself getting along with Sirius very well, he keeps stuttering and blushing when talking to her which she finds very funny, he still seems happy when she keeps conversing with him.  She finds Remus very interesting to talk to, he seems to think similarly to how she does and is the only one to truly believe her when she says she’s actually okay and not having all that much trouble adjusting.

Severus seems a little rough around the edges, but Del thinks he’s just a bit shy, he seems to mellow out when she starts talking about James and soon after that’s spread to general conversation with her.  She gets on with him and approves of him for James.

Lily she’s less certain about, she wasn’t particularly keen on her from the stories James had told despite his obvious smitten-ness.  Still, she’s never been one to judge when she hasn’t met a person, or even after that really.  People are constantly changing after all, so how does it make sense to judge someone on things they’ve done in the past when there is every possibility that they wouldn’t do it now?  Still, she’s cautious in the beginning, most of the meal her opinion doesn’t change much despite her eternally open mind.  That is until Remus’ wand is mentioned.

“…so he gave me a list of books on wandlore and one of his own.  It’s really interesting,” Del tells them all, James throws an arm around her, smiling proudly.

“She told me all about my wand, I didn’t know there was really anything more to it.”

“Well, can you tell me what it means if your wand is made out of cinnamon?” Remus asks, Lily laughs.

“I think it means you challenged a prank master in a prank war.” James grins at his girlfriend.

“Prank master?  That may be a little generous, we all know Remy is the evil mastermind of the group,” Regulus tells them all, Sirius scoffs.

“Seriously? Some brotherly back up you are.”

“Oh don’t worry Siri, I am well aware of how irritating your pranks can be as well.”  Sirius nods once.

“As you should be.”

“Okay but, James leads all the pranks and usually is the one to put it all together.  Even if Remus comes up with most of the individual parts,” Lily tells the two, this argument continues for a while, it’s her devotion to winning James the argument that helps Del finally warm up to the girl.  Remus ends the argument pretty easily.

“Well, I’m not sure about any of that, but I’ve always felt that those who prank the pranksters deserve the prize.”  He sends a pointed look to Severus and Marlene who are both suddenly very interested in what’s on their plate, Sirius and James look at the two in conclusion.

“So um, you two remember that time someone charmed your uniform to turn into the Slytherin uniform?” The two nod at Severus’ sheepish words, then their eyes widen and jaws simultaneously drop.

“You two?!” Peter snickers, “Wormtail, you knew about this?”

“He told me,” Remus responds, sharing a smile with Peter, Sirius shakes his head.

“I will never understand you two.”  Remus grins at him, Sirius grins back, James clears his throat awkwardly.  Sirius looks away bashfully, Remus seems confused but moves on quickly.

Mary and Marlene are hilarious, they just seem to bounce off of each other and everything gets more and more outlandish and hilarious.

Minnie’s quiet and polite, but she tells Del that she knows what it’s like to go to Hogwarts and be out of time, so if she gets too lost or confused, Minnie’s there to help, or be lost with.  Del decides she likes the girl.

 

“Are Remy and Minnie boyfriend and girlfriend?” Del asks her parents that night, Euphemia and Monty look to each other before both turning to James who looks like a deer caught in headlights, he inwardly chuckles at the pun when he realises what he’s doing.

“Umm, logic would tell me no but…logic and Moony don’t always go in the same sentence, particularly in relationships.  He tends to just sort of…fall and that’s that.” Del frowns.

“I don’t get it.” James sighs, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

“Neither do I Del, neither do I.  But from what I’ve seen, if they aren’t yet, they soon will be.  Even if that isn’t the…wisest decision.”

“Why not?”

“Because she’s a teacher, or will be.  What’s he going to do then when he’s stuck in love with a teacher and a teacher is stuck in love with him?  It’s just a bad idea.”

“So why don’t you tell _him_ that?” James sighs again.

“Honestly Del?  Because if there is one thing being friends with Remus Lupin has taught me, it’s that things being hard or sad or difficult later is exactly why you should be happy now, even if that happiness comes in unexpected places.  Besides, the guy deserves to be happy, even if there’s no way for it to last.” Del frowns before she turns to her parents.

“I don’t think I want a boyfriend.  It sounds painful.” Her parents chuckle, James looking like she just told him Christmas was coming twice that year.

 

When they get to the train station for school Del stands with her family as they look for James’ friends and their parents, suddenly Del’s being pushed into her brother.

“Oh Merlin, I am so sorry, are you all right Miss?” A boy asks, Del rights herself and turns around to face him, smiling kindly at the worry on his face.

“Yes, I’m fine.  Are you?” He nods and smiles awkwardly.

“Yeah, sorry about that, need to look where I am going.”

“Um, is that your toad?” The boy looks around to see his toad sitting a few metres away, he rushes over to grab it, Del following after.  Euphemia and Monty grab James and tell him to stay behind.

“Yes, this is Polla.  Thanks for that.”

“Hi Polla.” Del strokes the toad gently, it ribbits, Del laughs, “And you’re welcome.  Wouldn’t want you to lose your toad.”  The boy chuckles awkwardly before holding out his free hand.

“I’m Tom by the way.”

“Nice to meet you Tom, I’m Del.”  They shake hands, it’s quiet for a few moments before Tom clears his throat.

“So um, you new here?  You seem a little tall for a first year.”

“No, I um, I’m in third year but I’m just starting at Hogwarts…it’s uh…complicated.” Tom chuckles, she does too.

“Yeah, I understand complicated, maybe one day you can explain?” Del smiles and nods.

“Maybe one day.”

“I’m in Slytherin, um, any idea what house you’re in?” Del shakes her head.

“Headmaster Dumbledore said I’d be sorted before the feast, something about needing a hat?  I’m not sure.  My brother refused to tell me anything about the sorting, didn’t want to spoil the surprise.  But now I’m really nervous, I mean he’d tell me if it were horrible but…still…”

“Well, the hat is the sorting hat.  It decides which house you go into.  You don’t have to do anything but sit there.”  Del lets out a breath of relief, “You have a brother?”

“Yeah, James.  He’s in fifth year in Gryffindor.  Do you have any siblings?” Tom shakes his head.

“Not that I know of…it’s complicated.”  She smiles kindly at him.

“I understand complicated, maybe you’ll tell me some day?” They both chuckle as he nods.

“Maybe, some day.”  Both are quiet for a few moments before Tom’s eyes widen, “Do you mean James _Potter_?” Del nods, “You’re a Potter?  Del Potter?” She nods again, confused, “Huh, I didn’t know he had a sister.”

“He uh, doesn’t like to talk about the…complicated thing.  So he wouldn’t have really brought me up.”  She shuffles awkwardly, he shrugs.

“I know now.” She smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Yeah, you do.”

 

She and Tom had been inseparable since then.  Well, not in the literal sense seeing as she’s in Hufflepuff and he’s in Slytherin, but still, they’re very close.  He went straight over to her table when dinner finished so that he could speak to her that night.

“Well, well, well, a Potter in Hufflepuff.  It suits you,” He tells her, she grins and hugs him quickly, he’s surprised but returns it with a smile.

“Thanks Tom.”

“Del!”  James comes bounding over to her, wrapping his arms around her, “I wasn’t expecting that!  Well, actually, in hindsight I really should have been, but that’s beside the point.  You’ll be okay, right?  On your own I mean?  Because you could come stay with us, a few others have in the past from other houses.”  Del shakes her head.

“Thanks Jimmy, but I’ll be okay.”  He nods, ruffling her hair fondly.

“I’m gonna head back then, I’ll see you soon Sis.”

“See you soon Bro.” With that he’s gone, Regulus joins Tom and Del along with the two other Slytherins they’d sat with on the train.  Jonathan Cleary, and Narielle Avery.  They were both nice, though from what she’s heard, Del’s a little wary of Nari’s older brother.  Still, she says he’s always nice to her, just over-protective and a lot like their Father, whatever that means.

 

Del meets with Lily once a week for their tutoring sessions, she starts to see why her brother is so taken with this girl, still she remains slightly wary.  Things are okay, they’re brilliant, even, until she finds out her brother had nearly died!

Still, a short tantrum later and things are okay.  Though she can’t deny she’ll miss  Minnie being around, McGonagall quickly becomes her favourite teacher.  Well, aside from Professor Sprout.  Del doesn’t think she’ll ever be particularly brilliant at Herbology, but it’s a loyalty to her house that she can’t help but feel.  Plus, knowledgeable about them or not, plants are still pretty freaking cool.

Then comes the incident.  There’s this Slytherin boy who keeps giving her the stink eye.  Nari says it’s because she hangs out with Slytherins, or rather, that she has them hanging out with her.  She says to ignore it, that if he actually _does_ anything, she should tell Remy Lupin and he’ll deal with it, just be sure to say they are on her side not his.  Del doesn’t really know what to make of that, the boy in questions folds his _socks_ , not exactly the fighting type.  Still, she’d heard he had been the one to lead Gryffindor into battle and no longer knew what to think about it.

It isn’t until he actually approaches her and Tom one day that Del even thinks of it again.

“So _you_ _’_ _re_ the Potter runt that’s defiling my house.”

“And you’re the Slytherin who’s been watching me for weeks.  A pleasure to make your acquaintance, though I do tend to prefer ‘Del’ to ‘Runt’.”  That being said, all of her house and her friends save for Tom still called her Young One.

“You think you’re so good just because you’re a Potter?” The boy asks ferociously, Del tilts her head to the side.

“What’s so good about being a Potter?  It’s just a family.  That’s not to say I’m not fond of my family, I am very much so, but they are no better or worse than any others.  Including yours.  So if you’re worried I think so, you can stop.”

“You’re wrong runt, my family _is_ better than yours.  You may be a pureblood but you still dirty the pureblood name!” Del takes a calming breath, she doesn’t like what he’s saying, but she dislikes the feeling of anger more and so chooses to release it.

“Listen, I do not know who you are, but I have never done anything to you.  If my brother has upset you in some way I would suggest you bring it up with him and preferably in a calm and civilised manner. Beyond that I’m afraid I can’t help you.  So if you’ll excuse us…”  She begins to walk away when the boy grabs her arm.

“Hey bitch, I’m not done with you!”

“Hey!  Back off Wulfric,” Tom warns, putting a hand on the shoulder of the arm grabbing Del, Del takes a breath.

“It’s fine Tom, he’s letting go, right?” Wulfric snarl, grabbing her tighter, “Ow, okay, not fine, not fine, you’re hurting me!”

“What’s going on here?” A voice calls, Del turns to face it and sees a girl with very long and curly hair, a concerned look on her face.  Beside her is a boy with a sneering expression who does not seem likely to help. Wulfric yanks her arm to turn her back and in doing so breaks the bone, she screams as she drops to the ground, Tom punching Wulfric in the face before dropping to her side.  Del hears a yelp that she knows isn’t from her before the face of the curly haired girl appears in her eyeline, then she passes out.

 

When she wakes up, her brother, Tom, Nari, Jonathan, and Sirius are around her bed.

“Del, hey,” Sirius says, the first to see her wake up.

“Hey, what are you guys doing here?  Don’t you have class?” Narielle shrugs.

“Black said he’d take notes for us and to say hi for him so, Reggie says Hi.” Del chuckles.

“Lily’s taking notes for us and said she’d get a copy of your work to go through with you from your Professors for today.” Del smiles.

“Thanks.” Sirius seems surprised for a moment before chuckling and nudging James.

“Check that out, finally met someone who can accept a nice gesture without insisting they aren’t worth it or something.  Del, you know, I like you more and more every time we talk.”  Delilah laughs, as do the others, James seems faintly amused but also disapproving.  Sort of just comes out in a constipated look.

“Tom told us what happened, are you all right?” James asks, he doesn’t bother to ask if Wulfric had bothered her before, he knows if he had she’d have told him.

“Yeah, my arm aches a little but I’m okay Jimmy.”  He nods, satisfied but still worried, Del frowns at him, “You aren’t going to do anything mean in revenge are you?” James chuckles and shakes his head.

“No, I’d planned to, but apparently Regulus told Remus what happened and Remy spoke to Tucker so, unless something new happens I’m considering it dealt with.”

“What’s the deal with Remy?  Why do people use him as a threat or as a safety barrier?” James shrugs, a little _too_ casually.

“He got blamed for some stuff and now people are scared of him.” Nari scoffs.

“Yeah, _that_ _’_ _s_ what happened.”

“No need to be rude about it Avery.”

“Easy for you to say Potter, you aren’t in Slytherin,” She replies with a glare.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake.  Del’s safe, to be honest, I don’t particularly care how it happened so long as it remains true.  And as for everything else, forgive and forget Nari.  Unless it happens again, but should that happen, fuck it all I’m moving in to Hufflepuff with Del,”  Tom tells them, the group chuckles some though Del still has no idea what they’re talking about.  Evidently her brother had left some things out after all.

“Well there you go Young One, your room may soon be overrun if they let loose their attack dog again.  So let’s not let you get bothered,” Jonathan tells her, Sirius and James glare at him, he smirks back.

“He…”

“Sirius,” James says simply, Sirius all but growls though he does step back again, “Cleary, Remus is no one’s attack dog and the only thing that sets him loose is himself, so I’d suggest you not cross him.  Furthermore, so long as Slytherin doesn’t break this truce again, there won’t need to be a problem, yeah?  So you can just run along and tell your brother that _Nari_ , but no matter _what_ , my sister is left out of it all.  Are we clear?” Narielle stands quickly, turning to face James, Tom grabs her hand and pulls her back to sit down again.

“James, listen.  I know you don’t think much of our house, but not everyone in Slytherin is bad.  A house is a set of traits, traits that define us, but that does not mean that is all there is.  None of us had anything to do with the things that have happened in previous years, but we _have_ been the ones to help pay for it.  Perhaps that’s something Lupin should take into account should it ever happen again.  But for now, I’d thank you to stop threatening my _innocent_ friends, for no other reason then what is arguably the same bigotry you seem to hate oh so much.  We’ve done nothing to you yet have suffered by your hands, direct or no, so I think it’s the least you can do not to be so openly hostile to the only people here that didn’t do anything.” It’s the first time anyone’s heard Tom say anything against anyone.  James shuts up. Sirius doesn’t.

“You remind me of Remy you know.” Everyone else startles at the words, Sirius shrugs and takes a seat, holding out a hand.

“Hi, Narielle, right?  I’m Sirius, a friend of Del’s.  Nice to meet you.” Nari seems uncertain for a moment before she takes the hand offered.

“Nice to meet you too B…Sirius.”

 

Sirius spends more and more time with that group, eventually growing as inseparable to Del and Tom as they had been to each other.

 

Eventually, Remus’ birthday comes along, and with it, the school’s usual buzzing as it nears the end of a term.  But more importantly, Gryffindor’s buzzing at the thought of another Marauder party.

“Guys, I just don’t feel like celebrating this year,” Remus complains, refusing to leave his bed in the morning.  Given everything that had occurred since his last birthday, and the knowledge of what he was dealing with in regards to his relationship during his last birthday, they can all sort of understand his hesitation.  That doesn’t mean they’re going to let him get away with it though.

“Oh come on Remus, it’s your birthday, you have to!” Peter tries, as though that hadn’t been said a million times.

“Go to the party and I’ll give you a blow job?” Mary offers, the room turns to her in surprise, she shrugs, “What?  I’m kidding!  Mostly.”

“And suddenly, I’m gay.” Mary throws a pillow at him as the others laugh.

“Right, just for that comment, you’re going.  Come on, I bet I can drink more than you without throwing up or passing out.” Remus looks at her like she’s an idiot, so do the others.

“Right, I’m getting in on that contest.  Bet I can drink you both under the table,” Sirius adds with a chuckle.

“We should invite Del to see this.” Sirius glares at Remus, “Awh, is little Siri embarrassed he might make a drunken fool of himself in front of his crush?” Sirius’ glare deepens.

“Don’t ever call me little Siri again. And no, because I am not a drunken fool.”  The room goes quiet, all looking at Sirius for a moment.

“Did you just…admit that you have a crush on Del?  As in Delilah Potter?”

“Don’t call her Delilah,” Sirius responds automatically before Alice’s words catch up to him and he blushes furiously, “I, er…”  he clears his throat.

“YES!” Severus calls, fist bumping Frank who is also grinning madly.

“Oh Merlin’s beard, fine, yes, I like her.  As in like her like her.  Now can we stop acting like we’re thirteen please?!”

“Says the guy with a crush on a fourteen-year-old,” Remus drawls, Sirius scrunches his nose up.

“Now I feel dirty.” Peter chuckles, clapping him on the back.

“It’s two years Sirius, you’re only sixteen.”

“Still!  And she’s my best mate’s little sister!”

“Oh believe me, that bit has _not_ been forgotten,” James comments darkly, Sirius winces as he looks at him, Severus chuckles.

“Come on Love, it could be worse.  At least he’s over…Gilderoy…now.”

“Yeah but, with my sister?  Seriously?”

“Well…he is Sirius.” James glares at Severus who tries not to laugh at his own pun.

“Oh deer, he’s in trouble now,” Peter says, James glares at him.

“Barking mad he is.” James’ glare turns to Sirius who promptly loses his shit laughing.

“Now now, we’re all a _ware_ of the problem.  No need to worm it further into the conversation,” Remus adds with a mischievous grin, Sirius and Peter both applaud him.

“Okay, you win.” Everyone else just looks around in confusion.

“Are we missing something?” Frank asks, Lily shrugs.

“It’s a Marauders thing, bugger if anyone else understands.”

“So the party?  Ready to live up to your alcoholic name?”

“I am not an alcoholic Marls!”

“Whatever.” Remus sighs.

“Fine, we’ll do this stupid party, but I better not regret this!”

 

Two-thirty am that night…er…morning?

“Yeah I knew I’d regret this,” Remus says as he holds Lily’s hair back while she throws up.

“S’ry Rmmmmy.”

“Don’t worry about it Lils, we’ve all been there.  Can’t exactly count the number of times all of you have done this for me.”  She chuckles slightly before vomiting into the toilet again.

“Why do you do it Remy?  This is a horrible feeling.”  Remus shrugs.

“Coz it’s a horrible feelin.” Lily looks at him like he’s insane, “Hard to focus on nuffin else innit?” Lily glares at him, he smiles sheepishly, “Sorry.  Um, I was heart broken about…about Bella.  Derek…he gave me a bottle of something, I think it might have been tequila, said it would help.  It did.  Sort of just spiralled from there I guess and now I just…it still helps.” Lily smiles wetly at him.

“I wish it didn’t.  We worry.” He chuckles without humour and nods.

“I know.  I wish you wouldn’t.”

He takes her back to the common room, passing Sirius who had obviously been listening in on the way, Sirius follow after them.

“Thass yer probl’m Moonny,” Sirius tells him once they’re all sat on the couch, “Thass why you not happy.  No matta who yer wiv, non of yer relatshinships have worked.”

“Oh, you mean my de-aged Professor and…and _him_?  What is this bit of knowledge you’ve acquired?” Remus asks, making an effort not to slur his own words, instantly on the defensive.

“You’ll never be happy, with Minnie, with Derek, and is got nothin’ to do withem!” Sirius tells him, Remus frowns at him, now worried about where this is going, was Sirius blaming him?

“Are you blamin’ me?  What have I done to deserve any of’at?”

“No no no, not deserve Remy.  Create.”

“What?”

“YOU CAN’T BE HAPPY WITH THEM BECAUSE YOU’RE STILL IN LOVE WITH BELLA!” Sirius suddenly shouts, the few students left in the common room look over at the two, “You’ll never be happy dating someone while you’re still in love with someone else,” He tells him, suddenly looking very sober, “Believe me, I’ve tried.”

“I think you’ve had enough, Mate,” Severus tells Sirius, leading him away from Remus who looks around awkwardly before grabbing a full bottle of firewhiskey and leaving the tower.

An hour later he still hasn’t returned, Severus begins to worry, but as he’s the only sober person around, he doesn’t really think he should leave the others.  He writes a note and simply hopes the receiver is a light sleeper.

 

 

“You know, I’ve been looking for you for an hour.”  Remus looks around and sees Lucius Malfoy leaning against the doorway with a smile on his face, Remus chuckles and shrugs.

“Dunno why.  Not much ta find.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Lucius replies as he comes and leans on his forearms on the railing of the astronomy tower, the place Remus had decided to retreat to, “Seems like I’ve found a friend in need of some company.”

“Howdja know ta look f’rmeh?” Remus asks, rubbing his eyes before taking another swig of the bottle, Lucius takes the bottle from him.

“Severus sent a memo.  He was concerned.  Apparently Sirius ran his mouth and upset you, you left whilst quite plastered and hadn’t been seen since.  Understandably I was worried.  You don’t have the best history of making good decisions.” Remus chuckles and nods from his seat, perched on the railing.

“True.”

“So what did he say?” Remus sighs.

“That I’ll never be happy wiv another bit of fluff because I’m still in love with Bellatrix.” Lucius lets out a whistle, Remus nods.

“Well, that’s…colourful.”

“’M paraphrasin, but that was the general idea.  ‘parently he knows what that’s like coz of his infatuation wiv Gilderoy Lockhart.” Lucius raises an eyebrow at him.

“You _do_ know he doesn’t have feelings for Lockhart, right?” Remus nods.

“’Course I do.  Never ‘as.”  Now Lucius looks intrigued.

“Do you know who he _is_ infatuated with?”

“At the moment? Del.”

“Tom shan’t be happy.”

“Pretty sure Tom knows.  Sirius certainly knows Tom ‘as feelings for Del.  Both’re keeping their distance at the moment.  Given everyfin it’s just not somefin Del’s equipped to deal wiv and they’re both respectin that.”

“Okay, so who was he crushing on before?”

“Why are you so interested?”

“Because I want to know if you’re the idiot or if everyone else is.” Remus looks at Lucius in confusion.

“If you or anyone else finks I’m not aware of what Sirius’ feelin’s for me ‘ave been in the past, then y’all are proper dolts.  But far as I know, it’s never really been well, serious, enough to prompt the sor’of response I got tonight.  So I’ve no idea what he’s talkin’ about, but it ain’t me.  ‘Sides, he was always gonna get over me quickly anyway.”

“Yes, because five years is oh so quick.  Come on, you _know_ he’s in love with you.” Remus looks to his hands.

“He don’t _love_ me, just a crush innit? ‘sides, fings are bad enough for’im wivout adding me into it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talkin’ bout his family, his life, the Marauders, his future, I’m talkin’ bout everyfin!  Trixie…quite frankly I thought she was off her fucken rocker when we woz on our first date.  Derek’s a completely different story all together, and Minnie and I always had an expiration date.  I loved all three of vem, gran’ed I’m not sure I’ll ever love anyone the way I do Trixie, but my point is, I’ve never meant to foist myself upon anyone.  He deserves a lot be’er than a queer half-blood Werew…” Remus freezes, looking slowly to Lucius whose eyes widen.

“…werewolf?”

“I…er…um…uh…I got nuffin.”

They stay in silence for a while as they watch the sun rise over the tower.

“You’re a werewolf?” Remus bites his lip nervously before nodding slightly, “That’s why you won’t date Sirius?”

“That and…I just…he’s one of my best mates.”

“You aren’t interested?”

“I’ve very carefully never thought about it.”  Lucius shrugs.

“Maybe you should.”

“Don’t matter anymore, he’s got Del now.”  Lucius looks at Remus for a moment before he sighs and stands straighter.

“You just really can’t catch a break, can you?” Both laugh at that.  Then suddenly they look at each other and Lucius leans forward, kissing him.  They snog for a moment before Remus pulls back.

“Narcissa…”

“Isn’t here.  Come on Remy, what’s one drunken night between friends?” Remus raises an eyebrow at Lucius.

“Well for one it’s morning, and for two, you’re sober and I’m…well…not as drunk as I was.” Lucius smirks.

“Semantics.”  He kisses him again, Remus decides to ignore his conscience for once.  The kiss grows more passionate and soon enough Lucius has him pinned against the wall of the astronomy tower, the two grinding against each other.  It’s only when Lucius’ hand begins to undo Remus’ belt that he thinks he hears it, footsteps in the distance, but he’s quickly distracted again. 

Very distracted.


	31. The Age Of Lockhart

Chapter 31

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Breakfast is an awkward affair.  Hangover potions were a godsend, everything was as it should be, except Remus was late and had a particular air about him.  His friends kept shooting him wary looks, Remus kept glaring at Sirius who keeps looking like he wants to speak but stops himself.  Until he can’t.

“Lucius Malfoy, seriously?!” He whispers incredulously, Remus sighs.

“Whose footsteps did I hear?” Alice clears her throat awkwardly.

“You may have scarred a third year.” Remus groans and buries his face in his hands.

“Can we get back to the important part of this please?”

“Oh what does it matter Sirius? It’s not like it was anything more than a good fuck, after all I could never be happy with anyone, right?” Remus asks Sirius viciously.

“I…walked over at a bad time, didn’t I?” Everyone looks up to see Regulus looking disgusted, Remus’ eyes widen as he flushes with embarrassment, “I’m just gonna…go…be some place else.”  With that he goes and sits at the Ravenclaw table beside a girl he’s been chatting to a lot lately.

“You realise he has a girlfriend, right?”

“Who, Regulus?  I didn’t think they were that close…”

“NO NOT REGULUS YOU TWAT MONKEY!” Sirius tells him, throwing a bread roll at him.

“OKAY, CALM YOUR FUCKEN TITS YOU MUG, WOULDJA!”

“Guys, volume!” James chastises, Sirius and Remus look around to see a lot of people looking at them.

‘Calm your tits?’ Mary mouths to Peter who shrugs.  Sirius and Remus both go back to their food until everyone looks away, only then quietly returning to their argument.

“He just cheated on my cousin with you.”

“You don’t even _like_ Narcissa!”

“Your ex-girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend.  That doesn’t bother you?  Or is that _why_ you did it?” Remus looks outraged, “Oh don’t look so fucking high and mighty, you’re the one who just screwed a taken man.”

“ _Actually_ , he screwed me.  And it was fucking good.”  With that Remus leaves, Sirius looking extraordinarily pissed off in his wake.

“So…for one…the fuck Sirius?!  And for two, is Remus having some kind of breakdown again?” James asks, looking worried for his friend.

“Did you expect him to react well to what Sirius said?”

“I didn’t _mean_ to say it like it came out, or at all.” Mary sighs and grabs his shoulder, squeezing faintly.

“We know, so does he. He’ll get over it, he’s Remy, he always does.  But Sirius…” Sirius looks at her in concern, “Sirius he shouldn’t have to.  Stop hurting him.”

“It’s not like I do it on purpose!”

“Don’t you?” Sirius goes to protest before he…doesn’t.  His mouth falls shut as an extremely troubled and thoughtful look takes over his face. The others go back to their breakfast, leaving him to sort things out on his own.

 

Remus storms back to the dorm in a fury, only when he arrives his focus is diverted to an envelope on his pillow that had not been there prior to the party the night before.  He walks over and sees it’s addressed to him, in a familiar hand writing.  He opens it, tearing at the envelope, desperate to get to the letter within.

_Remy,_

_Happy Birthday._

_With love,_

_Your Trixie_

“…huh.”

 

Before long it’s holidays, and then back to school again.  Sirius has withdrawn into himself over the last few weeks, even when spending the holidays at the Potter’s place, but as soon as he spots Remus at the platform he rushes over and hugs him.

“I’m sorry.  For everything.”  Remus seems surprised but hugs him back.

“I forgive you Padfoot.” Suddenly Remus stands up straighter, “Sirius, something’s wrong with Reg.”  Sirius releases him and looks round to see Regulus stalking towards them, anger etched on every inch of his face.  Only, he’s not stalking towards them, he’s stalking past them and onto the train.  Lily grabs his arm as he walks by in an effort to check on him, but he yanks his wrist out of her hand.

“Get off of me, _Mudblood_ ,” Regulus spits venomously.

“Hey!” James calls, standing in between them as Severus wraps his arms around Lily, Regulus stands tall.

“Problem, Potter?”

“Yeah, what the fuck has gotten into you?  What the hell was that?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry we can’t all get away with being the complete fucking disgrace Sirius is for the rest of our lives, eventually, some of us actually have to fucking grow up.”  With that he storms off.

“Are you okay Lily?” Severus asks after everyone is stunned into silence for a few long moments.

“Yes, I’m fine.  Worried about our Little Brother though.” Petunia puts an arm around her sister, frowning towards where Regulus had disappeared to.

“Padfoot?” James asks Sirius who seems lost and confused and hurt.

“He– I’ll talk to him.”

“Um, maybe let me try first? He uh, just doesn’t seem so happy with you right now…” Del suggests, Sirius looks like he wants to protest but nods.

“Why wasn’t Cleary with him?” Peter asks, the kids look at him like he’s fucking nuts while the parents seem confused and still rather disoriented after Regulus’ abrupt departure, “Jonathan Cleary, he was staying with him over the holidays, wasn’t he?” Del nods, “So why wasn’t he with him?”

“What does that matter Wormtail, for fuck’s sake.”

“Sirius,” Monty says warningly, Sirius takes a deep breath.

“Sorry.”

“I’ll check for him on the train,” Del tells Peter who nods, not wanting to make a sound and risk getting snapped at again.

“Will you be all right, Lily?” Laura asks her daughter, Lily smiles reassuringly, though it’s as fake as Mary’s eyebrows, and nods.

“I’m friends with Remus Lupin, Mum, no one is going to seriously bother me.”

“What does that mean?” Harlene asks, looking from Lily to her son and then to Remus, the latter of whom shuffles on his feet awkwardly and bites his lip.

“Nothing really, just…some stuff.”  Severus suddenly walks off to the side, the others look over to see him walking towards Lucius Malfoy who had clearly gestured him over somehow.  The two have a quiet and harried conversation before Severus walks back over looking drained.

“Let’s just get on the train, our finally turning quiet year doesn’t seem to want to end that way and I’d rather get it over with,” Severus requests, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

“What did he want?” James asks cautiously, Severus just shakes his head as he covers his eyes with a hand, his response very quiet in the loud station.

“A miracle.”

 

 

Dumbledore stands at the front of the stage, morose, as everyone sits for their welcome back feast.

“If I could have your attention please, I have some unfortunate news.”  Everyone immediately pays attention to him, “Jonathan Cleary was pronounced missing three days ago.  If anyone has information on his whereabouts, we request that you give it to your head of house immediately upon the feast ending.  Our thoughts are with Jonathan’s family and friends during this hard time, I know you will all join me in hoping he is found safe and well and able to return to us.  Thank you.”  With that the food arrives, no one really feels like eating.  Their group turns, rather unsubtly, towards Regulus who does nothing but glare at his food, Narielle and Tom looking at him in concern before locking eyes with Del on the Hufflepuff table, the group turns to look at her and sees the concern mirrored on her face.  They turn back to each other.

“Any ideas?”  James asks.

“We need to listen to Peter more,” Sirius comments, “How are you right all the time?”

“I pay attention and think things through.” Is the dry response, the group tries to chuckle, but given the air of the entire hall, it doesn’t really work.

“This is hardly the problem right now guys.  A boy is missing and Regulus has something to do with it!  Which, no, I do not mean he _had something to do with it_ I mean, it has something to do with _him_ ,” Alice tells them, they all nod solemnly.

“Maybe he told Del something,” James suggests, Sirius sighs.

“Moony could you, you know, eavesdrop?” He requests, Remus nods, bringing forth Moony’s hearing, wincing at the noise before focusing it in Regulus’ direction.

“You think you can just show up one day and be accepted after you’ve spent your life consorting with mudbloods and blood traitors? Just because you’re the youngest to take the mark?” Rodolphus Lestrange demands viciously, Remus is facing the Slytherin table and thus can see the dark look on Regulus’ face, he feels himself stop breathing.

“Past mistakes and rebel brother aside, I am still a Black, and if things with Sirius continue as they are I will very son be the Heir.  So if I were you Lestrange, I’d start showing some more _respect_.  I _am_ the youngest the Dark Lord has given his mark to, and I will soon be the heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black.  In essence, one of the very last people you want to cross.  Are we clear?  Or do you still have a problem with my being here?” Regulus asks coldly, Remus thinks for a moment that he’ll be sick, then he sees Rodolphus’ glare morph into a satisfied smirk.

“Welcome back, Black.” Regulus smirks darkly.

“It’s good to be home.”

Remus can’t take anymore of it, ignoring his friends, he gets up and stalks straight over to Regulus.

“Reg, mind if I have a word with you outside?” Regulus raises an eyebrow at Remus before going back to his plate with an air of disinterest.

“I’ve nothing to say to you Half-blood.” Remus smiles dangerously as he leans in closer.

“Perhaps I didn’t make myself clear, I’d like to talk to you Regulus, and I _don_ _’_ _t_ like to be kept waiting.”  He feels the rest of Slytherin look at him nervously, the teachers turning a watchful eye to the situation.

“I am not afraid of you Lupin, Sirius would never forgive you if you harmed me.”  Remus smirks.

“You’re right, and even if he would I would never hurt you.  Nor would I hurt Del’s friends over there, but the rest of your house?  Sounds like fair game to me.  So I’ll ask again, mind if I have a word with you outside, Black?” Regulus regards him angrily for a moment before rising and stalking out of the hall in a way that screams control yet immense anger, Remus distantly thinks his Uncle would be impressed as he follows the boy out of the hall.

“What do you want?” Regulus demands when the door shuts behind them, Remus pushes the boy up against the wall, much to Regulus’ surprise.

“You took the Dark Mark?!” Reg’s eyes widen, Remus scoffs, “Lycanthropic hearing you _dolt_.” Regulus glares and pushes him off.  He then straightens himself up and answers with an air of regal anger.

“Yes, I did.  A proud day in my Family’s history when the future heir swears his allegiance.”

“Oh I’m sure your parents are thrilled.  But how _could you_?  YOU KNOW WHAT HE STANDS FOR!  YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE HE’S HURT!”  Remus is glad he thought to shut the door of the Great Hall and that all the occupants of the room will hear is muffled yelling.  Regulus just stares at him coldly.

“Yes, I do.  But in pursuit of a just cause, what do the means of victory matter?”

“Everything!”

“Yet it is through watching _you_ that I learnt otherwise.” Remus stops short, glaring at the boy who is radiating anger, the same boy who used to run at him to hug him in his excitement.

“What happened to you Reggie?” Regulus’ face morphs into a cold glare.

“I am not a child anymore Lupin, I grew up.”

“This _isn_ _’_ _t who you are_ Regulus!”

“WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHO I AM?  You are not my _brother_ Remus Lupin, my own is barely my brother anymore and thus neither of you have a say in the decisions I make.  One day, when my Lord comes for you both, and believe me he will, I will watch in delight that the two who most lead me astray will no longer be a problem.  Goodbye, _Half-breed_.”  With that he stalks back into the Hall, leaving Remus stewing in a rage he hasn’t felt since his first term at school when Moony was locked up alone on full moons, he never did take kindly to that.

Remus takes a deep breath before he too re-enters the hall and re-joins his friends who look at him questioningly.  He briefly looks round to see Regulus looking perfectly composed and feels his rage flare again as he looks back to his friends.  He manages to hold back the growl he feels building in his throat but can’t help the snarl in his words as he speaks,

“We have a problem.”

 

“I’m sorry, I must have misheard you.  I thought you said that our dearest Little Marauder, innocent baby Regulus, is a _Death Eater_ ,” Severus says, disbelief in his voice, Remus glares at him.

“I understand it’s hard to believe but I am in no mood for anyone being deliberately obtuse.”

“Okay, look, calm down.  Clearly something more is going on.  We just need to work out what,” Mary tells them, Remus turns to her, anger radiating from every inch of his body.

“You misunderstand me, I don’t just mean he’s got the dark mark.  I mean he is a _fucking Death Eater_.”

“Remy…”

“No, don’t.  You didn’t talk to him.  You don’t _know_.  Now I’m not denying something happened that made him completely flip his shit, but he is not being forced into this in anyway nor coerced.  He has made this decision, and by all hell if he’s given half a chance he will lead this damned war and kill us all.”

“He’s fourteen!”

“ _A proud day in my Family_ _’_ _s history when the future heir swears his allegiance._ Fourteen or no, he’s made his choice.” Sirius frowns.

“Future heir?”

“Yes, he seems to be under the impression you’re going to be disinherited or disowned fairly soon.”

“So, what the hell is it he said about us?” Remus looks at Peter in confusion, “You’re raging Remy, you never do that.  Not unless someone has seriously threatened or upset someone you care about.”

“Someone I considered to be family turning on us isn’t enough?”

“Well it wasn’t when it was Bella.” The room freezes at Peter’s words, Remus’ anger turning to a muted sadness as he slumps onto the edge of the bed he had been standing beside which happened to be James’.

“There are just some things no one wants to here.  Enemy or friend, doesn’t make a difference once it’s heard.” 

“What are we going to do?” Marlene asks, voice wet.  Remus glares at the ground, anger rising once more.

“He’s not our problem.  He’s a Death Eater, the Aurors will catch up to him eventually.”

“Remus!  HOW CAN YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON HIM?!” Lily screams in his face, Remus looks up at her, a dangerous glint in his eye that has her flinching back from him as he rises up.

“I didn’t turn my back on him Evans.  He called me half-breed, said he’d be glad to watch when the Dark Lord comes for me, said his own brother is barely so anymore.  Said that in pursuit of this great cause the means used don’t matter, and that he learnt that from watching _me_ ,” Remus tells her, walking closer to her slowly, she retreating a step with every step he takes.

“Remus…” James says, unsure if it’s a warning or a plea.  Either way Remus snarls before he starts pacing across the room angrily.  Lily let’s out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.  It’s times like these that remind everyone what exactly Remus is.  Moony may be docile at times, but there is still darkness running through his veins that he has said on numerous occasions is often hard to control.  They would never admit it, but at one point or another all had found themselves wondering what would happen should he lose that control, and who exactly would be in danger.

“Okay, assuming for the moment he really is lost to us, just assuming, shouldn’t we tell Dumbledore?” Frank asks, trying to placate those who glare at him, Remus’ shoulder’s twitch at Dumbledore’s name.

“No, are you crazy?!” Sirius demands, standing up and looking horrified, James puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, okay?  No one is turning Regulus in,” He tells Sirius reassuringly while giving Frank a pointed look.

“Maybe we should,” Mary suggests hesitantly, all eyes but Remus’ turn to her.  Remus just keeps pacing while glaring at the ground, the others are content to let him go for now, “I just mean, he’s proven he won’t act against Death Eaters, but at least that way someone knows, and from a selfish point of view, we aren’t seen as covering for a Death Eater.”

“He wouldn’t act against those Death Eaters until they entered the school grounds, Reg is well within school grounds,” Sirius replies, trying to keep a level head and failing as he starts yanking on his hair.

“Regulus is a minor, I don’t think Dumbledore would turn him in,” Peter tells them, everyone goes quiet as they think desperately.

“Guys ar-are we trying to think of ways to protect him or to deal with him?” Marlene asks, everyone looks to each other in concern.  Even Remus stops pacing and sort of half looks back without properly turning to face them.

“Remus, ignoring your current bloodthirsty attitude, what do we do?  Please mate, because I am so lost right now, I don’t know what I’m meant to do,” Sirius tells him, walking forwards slightly.  Remus turns around to face him, crossing his arms and looking at him contemplatively for a moment before he seems annoyed at himself and nods.  Then he glares at the ground thoughtfully for a moment.

“Oh for, someone get me a blasted drink,” Remus requests sharply before pacing again only this time with a thoughtful air.  Lily runs out of the room, bringing back an entire bottle and just handing it over, Remus immediately unscrewing the lid and throwing it away before taking a large gulp and continuing to pace.  Frank raises an eyebrow at her, she looks anxious but shrugs.

“It’s for Regulus.”

An hour, and half a bottle of whiskey, later Remus stops suddenly, right in front of a wall.  The he turns and leans back against it as he regards them all thoughtfully.  They were now sitting around the room in various places, Peter playing solitaire, badly, and the others just looking lost.  All look over when he stops moving.

“What if we did both?  And neither?”

“Whaaaat are you talking about?” James asks him, confusion clear on everyone’s faces.

“We neuter him, make it so that he poses no danger or at least no real threat.  We protect him from the consequences of his own actions, and we stop him from hurting anyone else.”

“How?” Marlene asks, Remus frowns, taking a swig from the bottle.

“The obvious way would be to bind his magic, but there are a million different and very easy ways that could be undone right now, and more importantly, if he’s useless you-know-who will kill him.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s your priority again,” Sirius comments, Remus shrugs though he does look slightly sheepish.

“Alcohol is good at calming people.”

“Especially those addicted to and/or dependant on it.”

“I am not an alcoholic Mary!”

“He says while holding half a bottle of firewhiskey that was full an hour ago.”

“I’m trying to think, will you can it?” Mary holds her hand up in surrender, Remus shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes a calming breath, “Sorry.”

“Bitch at me all you like, just please come up with something.”

“The problem is he’s chosen this.  We can’t negate his right to choose, so no matter what we do here everyone needs to prepare themselves for the fact that, although you-know-who loses him, we might not get him back.”

“What’s your idea?” Sirius asks once everyone’s digested that, Remus bites his lip before he starts pacing again, fiddling with the bottle in his hands.

“…there’s a spell, one Trixie once told me about.”

“This is already making me nervous,” Alice claims, Mary snorts, Remus rolls his eyes as he stops moving again, sitting down with the group and taking a drink.

“It will do exactly what we want it to, neutralise the danger he poses without making him entirely useless.  He’ll still be a threat, but he will be incapable of directly harming a living being of any kind.”  Everyone exchanges looks except Sirius who just looks at Remus, aghast.

“You’re barmy, we can’t use that spell!”

“Sirius, do you want to protect your brother?  Anything else I’ve come up with ends badly for him.”

“Then think harder!  For Merlin’s sake Remus, I won’t let you do it.”

“Has it occurred to you that it probably won’t even affect me that much?”

“Has it occurred to you that no one’s ever cast this spell without a wand before?  You don’t think that will make a difference?”

“Of course it will, but not to him.  So who’s more important Sirius, me or your brother?” Once again the room freezes, all looking awkwardly between them, knowing Remus has no real idea what he just asked of Sirius.

“Remus John Lupin, if you think for a moment that you are any less important to me than he is, you are wrong.  DAMMIT REMY, I LOVE YOU!” Sirius shouts, the group turns to look at Remus who sighs and smiles faintly.

“I love you too Sirius, you’re one of my best mates, you’re family.” James drops his face onto Severus’ shoulder as Peter facepalms and the others just sort of roll their eyes exasperatedly.

“Only Remy could be this fucking dense,” Alice mumbles to Frank who tries to hide his chuckle with a cough.  Lily looks to Sirius who looks like he’s about to either laugh or cry or quite possibly both.

“Sirius, I don’t want anyone to get hurt because you were worried about me.”  Severus’ head snaps up suddenly, eyes wide.

“I…may have a solution but…ethically it’s more than a little sketchy.”  Everyone turns to him with quizzical looks, “Well, what if we got him to cast it on himself?”

“How would we do that?” James asks with a frown, Severus looks at Remus.

“ _We_ can’t, but he can.” Remus suddenly looks very nervous, Sirius looking at Severus with wide eyes before turning back to Remus.  The others seem confused.

“I don’t think he’s as afraid of Remus as the rest of Slytherin, and I doubt Moony could get them to do it anyway.”

“He doesn’t need to Peter,” Sirius tells him without looking away from Remus who, honest to Merlin, gulps.

“I don’t want to do this.”

“I don’t want you to either.  He will make life hell for all of us in any way he can manage for this.  But…it’s for the greater good.”

“Dammit Sirius!  If I get caught I’ll get thrown into fucking Azkaban!”

“I know!  But so will he!  It’s our only hope, it’s _his_ only hope.” Remus chews on his lip for a moment, worry clear on his face.  Sirius smiles slightly, tears in his eyes, “You’re still cute when you do that.”  Remus chuckles, pulling his lip from within his teeth.  Then he nods.

“I’ll do it, but anyone in here that doesn’t know what’s going on, it’s really best you don’t ask.  And I’m keeping this,” Remus declares, waving the bottle of firewhiskey through the air, Lily rolls her eyes but doesn’t object.

 

The next day Remus hides under the cloak and waits for Regulus to exit the Slytherin common room, he then silently follows after him until he finally catches him alone.

“Regulus!” Remus calls once he’s pulled the cloak off, shrunken it, and put it in his pocket.

“What do you want Half-breed?” Regulus asks, as he continues walking.

“Stop.” Regulus turns and raises an eyebrow at him, Remus inwardly curses, it hadn’t worked, “Cast the harmful bind on yourself.”

“Are you completely daft?  I’m not going to…” Remus takes a breath and throws a hand out.

“ _Cast it!_ ”

“Redde Innocens,” Regulus says as he taps his head with his wand, his eyes flashing yellow just before doing so.  Then he blinks rapidly before looking at Remus fearfully, then that anger turns to rage.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?!” Remus takes a calmer breath.

“Everything I could to protect you from yourself.  The rest is up to you Little Marauder, but know that we won’t ever give up on you.  When you realise how much of a mistake you have made, we will be waiting.  Just like we did for Severus, just like we are for Bellatrix.  We love you Regulus, and no matter what you do or what you say, that will never change.  That will _never_ change, because like it or not you are one of us.  Marauders first, and whether it’s in name or not, all of you are Marauders.  All of you come first.  Always.” Regulus sneers at him, shaking with barely contained rage.

“Fuck you.” Remus nods, wearily.

“Yeah, I figured.  Good luck Reg, I hope you find what you’re looking for.” Remus walks away, wiping a tear from his face as he heads up to his dorm where he quickly finishes off his whiskey, possibly too quickly if the slight numbness in his face is any indication.

 

“How’d it go?” Remus doesn’t move from his place on the window edge, legs hanging out of it as he leans on the edge of the window frame.

“Somehow I don’t think he’s ever getting over this, but it’s done.  He’ll never physically harm anyone ever again, not directly.”

“And you?  Will you ever do this again?” Sirius asks, stepping up next to his friend.  Remus takes a deep breath and turns his head to face his friend, now seeing the two are alone.

“Doesn’t it worry you that I can do this?  I don’t even know _how_ I did it.  What if I can’t control it and it happens accidentally?  It has before, in Severus’ vision.” Sirius wraps an arm around Remus.

“I don’t know Moons, but whatever happens, we’ll protect you.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.”  Sirius doesn’t really know how to respond to that.

 

“Hey, Sirius, you’re one of my best friends, so I can ask you anything, right?” Sirius looks at Del in amusement, he’s sat at the bottom of the tree by the lake, Del sat in a low branch of it.  She finds it easier to focus outside so the two are doing homework there on a Saturday.  Tom had been with them but had gone to the library to borrow a book he needs to complete his work, this left the two alone.

“Of course Del, what’s up?”  She swings her legs over the side of the branch so tha she’s now sitting sideways and facing him instead of leaning her back against the trunk.

“It’s Tom.” Sirius raises an eyebrow, she sighs, “I…I think I might…you know… _like_ him.  But, I don’t really know how to tell for sure.  I can’t always tell when I’m more nine than fourteen.” Sirius debates his response for a while, there are so many different ways he could deal with this, only there isn’t, not really.

“How do you feel when you think about him?” He asks, almost dreading the answer.  Sure he would never have acted on his crush until she was older, but that doesn’t mean he’s thrilled about potentially watching her get together with one of their close friends.

“I don’t know, my stomach goes all weird, like butterflies are flapping, and my heartbeat speeds up.”  Sirius smiles up at her faintly.

“That’s how you tell.”  She frowns.

“What should I do?” Sirius shrugs.

“I’m probably not the best person to ask for advice.”

“Because you have a tendency to say nothing and silently pine while watching the object of your affection fall for someone else?” Sirius looks at her with wide eyes, she giggles, “I know you love Remus.” He calms down, chuckling as he nods.

“Right, Remus.  Look, tell Tom you like him, I’m pretty sure he likes you too.”  Del scratches her ear unsurely, then nods.

“Okay, okay, I will.  Thanks Ri.” Sirius nods, smiling for real now.

“Any time Lilah.”

Sirius excuses himself when Tom returns, giving Del an encouraging smile before wandering off and wallowing in self-pity until dinner.

 

At dinner Tom and Del walk in holding hands, she goes to release his hand so that they can go to their tables when he smiles and says something quietly to her, she smiles and nods, then she goes to Hufflepuff table while Tom walks over to Gryffindor.

“Sirius,” He starts, Sirius looks at him curiously, “Thanks.”  He holds out a hand, Sirius hesitates for a single moment before he nods and smiles, shaking Tom’s hand.

“Make her happy Tom.” He nods.

“I’ll do my very best.”  He then locks eyes with Nari and jerks his head towards Del, raising an eyebrow.  Narielle smiles and nods, heading over to Join Del and Tom at Hufflepuff table.

“You all right Mate?” James asks Sirius who just laughs tiredly and nods.

“Honestly Prongs, I’m used to it.”  Remus claps him on the back and gives a supportive smile that, for some reason, doesn’t make him any happier. *Does dramatic chin tap in ‘thought’* Wonder why that is.

 

Three weeks later on a Friday, Remus is sitting on the edge of Sirius’ bed when he wakes up.

“AH WHAT THE FUCK?! HOLY FUCKERING FUCK REMUS LUPIN DO NOT EVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN ARE YOU FUCKING TRYING TO KILL ME?!  THAT’S TEN YEARS OFF MY LIFE I JUST FUCKING LOST YOU GIGANTIC TOSSER!” Remus, meanwhile, has begun laughing hysterically.

“What the _hell_ is going on?!” James demands as he rolls over, they hear a snore and all look to see Peter still asleep, “Is that boy even human?”

“Most non-human things have better hearing than you guys do anyway.” James and Sirius both look amused and proud at the wording he used.

“Is there a reason you’re giving me a heart attack this early in the morning?”

“Yes, do you have plans tomorrow?” Sirius looks at him like he’s insane.

“Couldn’t this have waited until I woke up?”

“I did wait.”

“Yes, _on my fucking bed!_ ”

“Exactly, now answer the question.”  Sirius groans and flops back to the bed.  James gets up and starts making his bed as he realises he’s not going to be able to get back to sleep.

“No, I have no plans tomorrow, why?”

“Well…I was thinking…now that Del is dating Tom and it seems to be a lasting thing, you should move on, get back out there, you know?” James freezes in his movements and sits on his bed facing them, shamelessly eavesdropping, Sirius considers his words very carefully.

“What are you talking about Moony?” He asks calmly, Remus grins.

“I got you a date.” James facepalms.

“With _who_?” Sirius asks, still unable to wrap his head around this concept, though in his defence, he literally _just woke up!_ Remus’ grin widens, Sirius looks nervous, James pays close attention again.

“Gilderoy Lockhart.” James loses it, laughing so hard he rolls off the bed and hits the ground.  Sirius splutters, unable to create a thought process capable of dealing with this, “You had such a long standing crush on him so, I thought it would be perfect.  But you were always too nervous to tell him, which is stupid by the way because anyone would be lucky to have you, so I thought I’d organise it for you.” Sirius’ face twitches for a moment before what Remus has done, from his point of view, catches up to him and he slaps a smile across his face.

“Thanks Moony.” Remus smiles and finally gets off his bed and leaves the dorm.  Sirius groans, sitting up and burying his face in his hands.  James now has tears streaming down his face as he laughs.

“Oh sod off Potter!” Sirius tells him as he throws a pillow at the boy.

“What’s going on?” Peter asks, apparently finally waking up.

“My new hell.”

And thus began the longest three weeks of Sirius’ life.

 

“So, Remy told me you’d been wanting this for a while now,” Gilderoy says as they drink tea at Madam Puddifoot’s.

“Oh, he _did_ , did he?” Sirius adds that to the list of things he’s going to strangle his friend for.

“Yes, I must say, I was flattered, unsurprised, but flattered.  Had I known, we could have done this years ago.  Still, I suppose my charm can appear intimidating to those with less of it.” Sirius grits his teeth as he smiles.

“I’m sure it can.”

“I’m usually rather good at knowing what people are thinking, bit of a psychic really, but I had no idea you were pining for so many years.” _Years?! Dammit Remy!_

“Telepath,” Sirius spits, before reigning himself in again, “The word you’re looking for is telepath, not psychic.”

“Oh of course, how fascinating, not many know the difference.  This must be fate!”

“Well, you’d know, you’re the psychic after all.” Gilderoy laughs as though Sirius had said the funniest thing.

“Yes, quite.”

 

Sirius walks into the Gryffindor common room, a whirl of complete and total irritation.

“Padfoot!  How was it?”  The hopeful look in Remus’ eye melts the irritation completely, Sirius sighs and smiles.

“Fantastic!  But really, Puddifoots?”

“Yes, sorry about that, I just liked the pun.  Padfoot, Puddifoot. Hey, if this thing with Gilderoy Lockhart doesn’t work out, we should set you up with Madam Puddifoot,” Remus tells him, the entire common room hears him speak, Sirius flinching as he realises that.

“You and Gilderoy Lockhart?  Really?”

“Oh yeah, they’re real…Sirius.” Finally, Sirius is given an excuse to glare at Remus who smiles innocently.

 

That night at dinner, Remus, the prick, calls out to Gilderoy as he walks into the hall.

“Hey, Lockhart, would you like to sit with us?” Gilderoy smiles and nods, Remus budges everyone down so that Gilderoy can sit beside Sirius instead of him doing so.

“How kind of you Remy,” Gilderoy takes his seat before smiling in what he must consider a charming manner at Sirius, “Hello again Siri.”

“Gilderoy,” Sirius replies curtly, Remus looks at him in concern so he puts a smile on his face and forces himself to relax, “Nice to see you again.” Gilderoy chuckles.

“Oh, you missed me that much, how adorable.” Sirius hand twitches to punch the man but James sees and grabs it subtly.

 

Later that night James sneaks into Remus’ bunk and casts a silencing charm before glaring at Remus who raises an eyebrow at him with an innocent look.

“Oh don’t give me that look, why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“This thing, with Gilderoy, and Sirius.”

“What do you mean?  I just want Sirius to be happy.” James glares.

“You are doing everything you can to make this as painful as possible, why?”

“Because he’s never had a damned crush on Gilderoy fucking Lockhart!” Remus snaps, James blinks a few times, “I don’t appreciate being lied to.”

“Oh.” Remus scoffs before turning back to his book, “Why now?  It’s been nearly a year since he admitted that ‘crush’ to you.” Remus shrugs.

“I wanted to get him to tell me the truth but the only way to do so was to do something like this and I didn’t want to risk Del getting hurt or caught in it somehow.” James groans.

“Why couldn’t you have just asked him?!”

“I _did_ ask him, if you’ll recall.  He lied to me, said he’d wanted to date Gilderoy, now he can.”

“You are a real monster sometimes, you know that?” Remus just raises an eyebrow at him again, James frowns, then realises what he says and rolls his eyes, “Fine, a real dick then.”

“All he has to do is admit he never liked Gilderoy, I don’t even care if he tells me the truth, I just don’t want another lie.”

“Why does it bother you so much?” Remus sighs.

“Because there are a bunch of lies and hidden things that follow me everywhere.  The Marauders are meant to be the people I have only the truth with and that has now been tainted because Sirius doesn’t trust me!  For god’s sake the _entire_ group knows but me.  Whoever it is bothered him enough that he snapped at me about never being able to be happy.  How he knows because he’s tried dating people while in love with someone else, and apparently everyone can know who that someone is, but me he’ll just blatantly lie to.”  James sighs, looking at it like that it was sketchy as fuck.

“Have you ever considered there’s a reason he hasn’t told you, specifically _you_?”

“Yes, clearly he trusts me less and I mean less to him than the rest of you.  Which fine, it sucks but I can deal with that.  He doesn’t want to tell me? Okay, whatever, but I’m not okay with him lying to me about it.” James rubs the back of his neck before nodding.

“Yeah, okay.  Fair enough.  But for the record, he doesn’t trust you less, and if anything, he cares about you more than the rest of us.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“Sure, then why lie to me?”

“Because he cares about you more than the rest of us!”

“What?  Is he worried I’ll abandon him because of who it is? That’s ridiculous.” James grits his teeth, how could _anyone_ be _this_ thick-headed?

“Maybe you two should talk about this calmly?  And without Lockhart involved?”

“He’ll probably just lie to me again, this way he’ll get so irritated he’ll probably end up screaming the truth in my face and it won’t be a problem.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, fine, have it your way then, but somehow I think the rest of us will snap before he does.”

Remus tries and fails to read his book after James leaves, his mind turning over the conversation repeatedly.

 _You do know he_ _’_ _s in love with you, don_ _’_ _t you?_ Remus shakes Lucius’ words out of his head.

 _It_ _’_ _s impossible, he_ _’_ _s not in love with me._ Remus tells himself, _A patently ridiculous notion, he could do so much better and he must know that._ Remus wonders why he’s even thinking about this before putting his book away and almost immediately falling asleep.

 

“All right this has gone far enough and I’m putting an end to it.  Sirius isn’t giving in, if he won’t snap, we need Remus to.  So, we all have our duties.  Severus, you need to find every reason imaginable to have Black Peacock in the same room as Remus.  Lily, keep asking them questions and steering conversations in the direction of couples and cuteness, anything to make them shove their relationship in Remus’ face.  I’m going to be bringing it up with Remus as often as possible, in little ways, so he can’t fucking escape it.  Everyone understand?” Lily and Severus exchange fondly exasperated looks.

“James, Honey, you know when you ask to speak to the people you’re in a relationship with in private in your dorm, this is not what anyone’s expecting.” James seems confused for a moment before blushing and rubbing the back of his neck, Lily shakes her head as she silently laughs, Severus is frowning at James.

“Love, it doesn’t sound like you’re _just_ trying to piss Remy off, you’re trying to make him jealous of Lockhart.” James clears his throat.

“I’m not-well, okay maybe I am, but the guy’s just so damned clueless!”

“I know but, what if it doesn’t work because he’s just not interested?”

“Do you think it won’t?” Severus shrugs.

“I don’t know, but I don’t want you to be too disappointed if it doesn’t.”

“We’ll never know until we try.” Lily and Severus exchange looks again before nodding.

“All right, operation…wolfstar, is a go,” Lily declares, James grins.

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.”

“Hey!” Severus complains, James chuckles, leaning in to kiss Severus.

“ _Both_ of you.” Severus rolls his eyes and kisses his boyfriend again.

In the end they fulfil everyone’s expectations of what they were doing anyway.

 

“So, tell me again about your first date!  The one _Remus_ set you up on!” Lily requests, Sirius sighs.

“Lily, you’ve heard it a dozen times.”

“I know but, James _never_ does anything so….romantic.  I’m living through you!  No better couple around than you two after all.  You’re certainly the cutest in the school.” Severus hides a chuckle in her hair.

“Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you Love?” Lily chuckles as she ‘listens’ to Gilderoy explaining their first date again.  They’d only been on three over all, Severus having been the one to suggest the other two while Remus was there.  Lily looks over to see Remus stabbing at his food harshly as he eats.

“Maybe James was right after all.” Severus looks over too and turns back.

“Perhaps that will lighten him up when he finds out you just used him as an excuse for this.”

“Well it was _his_ dumb idea.”

“Ah, a loving girlfriend you are.” Lily giggles at him in an adorable way, Severus smiles lovingly at him before the two tune back in to what’s happening at the table.

 

“We needed back up,” Severus tells the other two, when they walk in to find the entire group, minus Remus and Sirius who Severus had expertly set up to have studying in the library together with Lockhart, waiting for them.

“Someone want to tell us what we’re all doing here?” Mary asks.

“And why we are here too?” Tom asks, gesturing between he, Del, and Nari.

James explains everything going on, from the lie Sirius told to the truth of it and his conversation with Remus.  He then explains what he and his romantic partners have been doing and about Project Wolfstar at which point Lily proudly chimes in that she’d been the one to name it.

“Oh yeah, this I’ll help with.  I never even spend time with you lot but that relationship is driving me _crazy_ ,” Nari comments, Tom nods in agreement, James claps his hands together before rubbing his palms against each other.

“Brilliant!”

“Wait, I am _not_ getting involved in this,” Del tells them strongly.

“Oh come on Young One…” Nari begins Del shakes her head.

“No, everyone in this situation is getting hurt, I’ll have no part in trying to make that worse until someone snaps.  Besides, has anyone thought about Gilderoy in this situation?” Everyone looks around awkwardly, “I’m not going to help with some nefarious plot to play with people’s feelings.”

“You are _such_ a Hufflepuff.” Del raises an eyebrow at her brother.

“Yes, and very proud to be.”

“Come on Del, help just a little bit?” Tom asks, laying the puppy dog eyes on thickly, Del looks less than impressed. Tom smiles at her, she sighs.

“I suppose you are _trying_ to make them happy.”

“Exactly!” James tells her, she sighs again.

“If I were getting involved, and I do mean _if_ , I would make sure I spoke to Lucius Malfoy.”

“Why?” Peter asks her.

“Ri told me what happened between them, they had to be on the subject of _that_ stuff for that to happen, he may have mentioned something about Ri.”

“You should get involved in this stuff more often,” Marlene comments, Del shakes her head emphatically.

“I’m not even getting involved in this, I’ll see you all later, I’m going to go have tea with Mr Filch.” With that she kisses Tom on the cheek, then her brother, then she leaves.

“Is she serious?”

“No, she’s Del.” Alice looks at Lily is surprise, Lily sighs and shakes her head, “I hated myself the moment I said it.”

“She and Filch get along well.  Aside from Lucius, is there anyone else we could ask who might know?  I’d rather we not give Lucius reason to kill Ri if we can avoid it, telling people he cheated on Narcissa, pretty good reason,” Tom tells them all, James shrugs.

“I already asked Phia, she said he’s never mentioned Sirius in any kind of romantic way and hasn’t mentioned Lockhart at all.”

“All right then, guess we’re asking Malfoy.”

 

Lucius tells them nothing and threatens life and several pieces of anatomy Tom would rather not lose should he ever tell anyone what happened.

“He’s not gonna help,” Tom tells them, looking pale.

 

A few days later Peter watches Sirius and Lockhart snogging when he suddenly turns to the others.

“Not to quote Remus or anything but…This ends.  Now.”  With that he leaves the room.


	32. Not With A Bang, But With A Murder

Chapter 32

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“Not to quote Remus or anything but…this ends. Now.”

 

Peter holes up in the Marauder’s Lair for a full week before he shows up to Transfiguration with a picnic basket.

“Mr Pettigrew, what is _that_?” McGonagall asks, Peter looks to the basket as though surprised to find it there.

“Oh, this?  This is for Gilderoy.  See, he and Sirius are going to go on a picnic by the lake.  It was so romantic when Bellatrix and Remus did it they thought they’d copy the idea.” He then puts it by Sirius’ feet before taking his seat, Remus looking severely pissed off and glaring at Sirius.

“You’re supposed to make him want to punch Lockhart, not Sirius!”

“Relax Prongs, this will work.  Trust me, okay?  I’m not done yet.” James looks uncertain but nods, agreeing not to interfere.

 

It’s at dinner that it’s brought up again.

“How was the picnic?” Peter asks, specifically addressing Gilderoy who smiles cockily.

“Oh it was simply lovely, wasn’t it Darling?” Sirius looks quickly to Remus before looking back to his food and nodding mutely.

“Was it romantic?” Sirius looks at Peter suspiciously, but Peter keeps looking at Lockhart.  It’s then that James catches on to what Peter’s doing.

“Splendidly so, the water, the wind, the birds, it was fantastic.  We had quite the time in the tree if you know what I mean.” Remus jabs at his food so hard he misses his food and just hits his fork against the plate, breaking the plate in half and drawing the attention of the room.

“Sorry.”

“Are you all right Dear Boy?” Gilderoy asks, looking to the boy seated beside him, Remus clenches his teeth and nods, “Oh, are you still upset about Bellatrix dumping you?” Remus’ had clenches around his fork so hard it starts bending.

“Um, yeah, was a nice day, someone pass the bread rolls?” Sirius asks, trying to change the subject.

“Mm, I must say, one would think a relationship that started with such a wonderful date would have ended better, I’m certain it’s strengthened our relationship well, wouldn’t you say Sirius?” Sirius freezes, looking between Gilderoy and Remus, “Well, I suppose some people are just better suited to each other.” Remus looks Gilderoy in the eyes, obviously about to lose his shit, when he sees Sirius looking at them both with worry, he smiles in a very obviously forced manner.

“I suppose so.  Excuse me, I’m not feeling well.” With that he leaves the hall, Peter and James looking at each other guiltily.  Lucius glares at both of them from the Slytherin table before he and Narcissa follow after Remus.

 

When the others get back to the dorm that night, Remus has shut himself into his fourposter already and spelled the curtains shut.

 

The next day, Gilderoy isn’t at breakfast.  Everyone regards Remus suspiciously, _everyone_.

“Moony, what did you do?!” Sirius demands, Remus raises an eyebrow at him, “Gilderoy, where is he?”

“How would I know?”

“Because he pissed you off last night and now he’s disappeared.”

“Nice to see how much you _trust_ me,” Remus mutters, James facepalms.

“Moony, seriously, what did you do to him?” James asks him in a controlled manner.

“I didn’t do a thing to him.”

“CAN’T YOU ALLOW ME TO BE HAPPY, EVER?!” Sirius suddenly snaps, James and Peter look at each other in alarm, this had _not_ been the plan.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  I GOT YOU TWO TOGETHER SPECIFICALLY SO THAT YOU _WOULD_ BE HAPPY!  IT ISN’T MY FAULT THE GUY YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR IS AN UTTER TWAT!”

“EVERY TIME, EVERY DAMNED TIME I THINK SOMETHING’S GOING TO WORK YOU _SOMEHOW_ MANAGE TO FUCK IT UP FOR ME!”

“OH THAT IS BULLSHIT SIRIUS, YOU FUCK IT UP FOR YOURSELF!”

“OH MY GOD IT WASN’T EITHER OF YOU, WE WERE TRYING TO SABOTAGE YOU!” James yells, the two other boys stop yelling, instead turning to smirk at them, “…Oh…oh you little fuckers!”

“Us?  Seriously?” Sirius asks him, both of them crossing their arms and looking at them expectantly.

“Don’t just blame them, we all got involved too,” Mary admits, Remus and Sirius don’t look surprised.  Then it clicks in Frank’s head.

“They know, Malfoy told him.”

“Of course he did,” James mutters, “All right, we’re sorry.  We majorly crossed a line with that last scheme.”

“Don’t blame him, it was all my idea, well that last one, he didn’t even know what I was doing,” Peter tells them honestly, “I thought it would make you snap at him but as it turns out you care too much about Sirius to do that for _anything_.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“I care about _all_ of you too much to ruin your relationship over a bit of anger about something I should have gotten over a long time ago, Peter.  But for the record, there are some things he could have said or done that I would have lost it over.”

“Yeah but there are some lines I wasn’t willing to cross.”

“For which I thank you.  For the life of me though, I can’t work out what you were hoping to achieve!  If you wanted him gone, you could have snapped at him yourselves.” Sirius smiles at Remus, that smile he always gives when the idiot has done something he finds particularly adorable.  He then slings an arm over Remus’ shoulders.

“You know Remus, sometimes I think you’re really clever.”

“And other times?”  Sirius opens his mouth to respond when he closes it again and suddenly seems to realise something.  He then turns and walks out of the hall, he looks up and down the corridor before he walks back in and looks at Remus expectantly, “What?”

“What did you do to him?” Remus looks confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Gilderoy, he’s gone.” 

“He-what?” Remus walks out of the hall and looks around as well, he then walks up to Sirius, “I realise this probably looks bad but, I swear, I didn’t do anything to him.”  Sirius sighs and nods.

“Okay, I trust you.” Remus frowns at him.

“Do you?” Sirius seems confused.

“What are you talking about Moons?  Of course I do.  I trust you more than anyone.”

“Thanks Padfoot,” James tells him, Sirius gestures around him, referring to the incident that just occurred, “Fair.”

“If you trust me so much then why…oh nevermind.” James sighs, dropping his head to the table.

“No tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Why did you lie to me?” Sirius seems confused and then irritated.

“I’ve never lied to you Remus, I make a specific point _not_ to.  You’re the one who has all these damned secrets!”

“I do not!”

“I’d start listing them but that sort of negates the point to a secret.” Remus glares daggers at him.

“You fucking idiot, if you can list them it’s because you know them and you know them because I’ve told you everything there is to know about me.  I did that because I trust you, you and James and Peter know all of my secrets, my own twin sister doesn’t!  But you _don_ _’_ _t_ always tell me the truth Padfoot, in fact you have a long history of hiding things from me until the last possible moment when it suits you to tell me, and every time you do it’s because you’re afraid of how I’ll react.  Haven’t I proven that you could say or do anything and I will never leave you?  When are you actually going to start trusting me?!” Sirius seems surprised by the outburst, then he frowns.

“I _did_ tell you Remus, you didn’t listen.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SIRIUS?”

“OH YOU MORON, I L…”

“Excuse me for interrupting, but could I have a word with you both in my office?” Dumbledore’s voice sounds from behind them.

“NO DAMN YOU!” James shouts, then freezes, hand over his mouth and staring wide-eyed at Dumbledore who seems as shocked as he does, “Sir, I-I didn’t I mean, um, Prof-uh-Headmaster, I would nev-, I mean, I didn’t, but, um, coz you see, I um…”

“Incidentally I need to speak with you and Mr Pettigrew as well.” James freezes and nods.

“Yes Sir,” He says in a terrified whisper as he literally trembles.

The four go with him, following the old man up to his office where they find Gilderoy Lockhart with bright pink hair, Remus immediately losing it, laughing.  James still too shook up to even really notice, Peter seems surprised more than anything, Sirius looking between Gilderoy and Remus as the former glares at the latter who by now is kneeling as he laughs.

“Um…what’s going on?” Sirius asks, looking between Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Flitwick, none of whom seem impressed.

“That’s what we’d like to know.  Mr Lockhart claims not to have done this himself, none of us can undo it, and we have reason to believe some combination of those three may be involved.  We’ve brought you in as well in the hope that whatever is going on will be _sorted_.  I believe we’ve found our culprit,” McGonagall explains, crossing her arms and looking severely at Remus who notices her gaze and tries to calm down.

“I realise how this looks, but it wasn’t me,” Remus claims, still forcibly keeping himself from laughing, Peter pulls him up properly.

“Of course it was!  You’re jealous of how happy Sirius and I are so you’re trying to get back at me for it!” Remus looks at Gilderoy like he’s an idiot.

“What the hell are you on about Lockhart?”

“Oh everyone knows Sirius was in love with you for years, but now he’s moved on and you can’t stand it!” Suddenly, Sirius punches Lockhart square in the nose.

“Don’t you ever again insinuate that Remy would ever be that petty!”

“Or that Sirius is some prize to be won, he’s a human being who can make his own decisions and it’s not on me nor you to make them for him,” Remus adds in a dangerous voice, James and Peter look at each other in exasperation.

“We really pushed the wrong buttons with our plans,” James says, Peter nods.

“Was this your doing then?” McGonagall asks as Flitwick heals Gilderoy’s nose.

“No Professor, we quite honestly have no idea who did this.”

“I can’t believe I am about to say this, but there are more important things than my hair right now!” Gilderoy tells them, everyone looks at him in shock, including Dumbledore, “He’s ruining everything, you need to choose Sirius, me, or _him_.” Sirius looks between Gilderoy and Remus for a moment, one looking cocky and assured, the other sad and resigned.  Both of them truly thought he’d pick Lockhart, Sirius scoffs.

“Easiest choice I’ve ever had to make.” Remus flinches at that, Sirius backs away from Gilderoy and stands beside Remus, taking his hand.  Remus looks at him in surprise, Sirius smiles at him, he smiles back.

“Fine then, have your half-blood!” Suddenly Remus is using Sirius’ grip on his hand to hold him back from hitting him.  A short while of the entire room shouting and more than a few attempted punches from various people, McGonagall does something she hasn’t done since they turned Dumbledore into a pink goat, she raises her voice.

“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Everyone shuts the fuck up, staring at her in terror, Dumbledore included, she composes herself, “I should think so.  Honestly, you are behaving like first years, it is ridiculous and you will _all_ be facing detention.  How much is subject to the rest of this inquiry.  For the moment, I would like to know who exactly hexed Mr Lockhart and I’d like to know now!” All four Marauders look at each other trying to work out if any of them _had_ done it, when a voice pipes up from the doorway.

“That would be me, Professor.”  All occupants of the room turn around to see Bellatrix Black leaning against the door frame.

“You, Miss Black?” McGonagall asks, Bellatrix glares at Gilderoy.

“I don’t appreciate being used against people I love.  You’re lucky it’s your _hair_ I hexed.”

“That will be detention for three weeks Miss Black.”

“Yes Professor.” She then leaves, McGonagall doesn’t look like she was finished talking, but doesn’t call her back.  Remus, meanwhile is staring at the doorway in both confusion, and utterly ecstatic delight, like Christmas had come early for the first time in three years.  Sirius looks to the ground, tears filling his eyes rapidly, he wipes them away subtly.  James and Peter look to each other, unsure whether to be pleased or frustrated at this turn of events, more than anything though, they’re fucking impressed.

“Well, that’ll teach you, now won’t it?” Remus makes a move as though leaving but Sirius tugs him back with his hand, he turns around in surprise and sees Sirius looking worried.

“I know we never finished our argument but, you _do_ trust me, don’t you?” Remus nods.

“Of course, Padfoot.”

“Don’t go after her, something isn’t right.”  Remus bites his lip for a moment, looking longingly at the door before looking back and nodding.

“Right, I think a month’s detention all round will be enough.  Mr Lockhart, were I you, I’d start practising my apology to Miss Black.  She is, after all, the only one who knows how to counter the hex.” Remus smiles, looking at his fellow Marauder’s who all seem to be thinking the same thing he is.

Minerva McGonagall is most definitely Minnie.

 

“Sirius, I –” Remus begins as they walk into the Gryffindor common room.

“Look, Remus, we both said a lot of things today and a lot of things have happened over the past few weeks, a lot of really _stupid_ things.  How about we just agree to forget the last three weeks ever happened?” Remus looks like he wants to argue for a moment before he bites his lip and then takes a step back, nodding.

“Yeah, of course.” Sirius nods, taking a deep breath.

“Cool.” He stands in awkward silence for a moment before he continues up to the dormitory, Remus looking around for a moment before he walks out of the common room, calling over his shoulder something about the library.

“Back to square one,” Peter comments exasperatedly, James shakes his head.

“Not quite.” He grabs Peter’s arm and leads him over to where Severus is cuddled up beside Lily, “Severus, Pete and I need to talk to you, now.” Severus frowns before placing a kiss on Lily’s head and following the other two out of the common room.  They go all the way to the attic before James looks to him again.

“What did they do to her?” Severus raises an eyebrow at him, Pete looks at him in confusion as well, “Bellatrix.  First there was the interaction I had with her when Del ended up in hospital during which she called me her friend and alluded to Rodolphus having some kind of control over her.  Just now it turns out she’s the one who hexed Lockhart, states she doesn’t like being used against the people she loves.  You and Lucius have been acting suspicious as fuck for literally _years_ now.  I’ve been patient, I’ve been calm, but dammit, something is happening to someone I care about a hell of a lot and I want to know _what_.” Severus looks at him pleadingly.

“I told you, I can’t tell you, not until…”

“The end of the year, yeah, I know.  In case it’s slipped your notice though, we’ve three days left.”

“Somehow the OWLs gave that away.” James glares at him at the tone, Severus sighs, reaching out and grabbing his boyfriend’s hands, “Listen, I know you want to know, and I know what that’s like, truly, I do.  Telling you at this point is going to complicate things and quite possibly get Bellatrix killed.  What I can tell you is that she loves us all, we’re her group and that has never changed.  She loves Remy with every she is and that hasn’t changed either.  We will get her back, of that I am certain, so I need you to trust me, for just a little while longer, trust me.  Please.”  James and Peter look to each other before both nodding.

“All right, but if nothing has changed when Summer ends…” Severus let’s out a breath of relief and nods.

“I’ll tell you everything.  I promise.”

 

Bellatrix isn’t sure how she managed it exactly.  She heard the things that nitwit was saying about her and Remy not being as well suited or some such rubbish and simply couldn’t bear to hear anymore!

Being friends with the Marauders for as long as she had been had certainly taught her a thing or two, hexing him was surprisingly simple.  When Dumbledore called the others into his office, she knew he was going to blame them, so when the curse didn’t stop her from admitting to a crime, she went with it.  Giving the reason to the crime apparently didn’t register to the curse either, but she knew she had to get out of there before anyone tried to ask anything that brought it back into effect.

She’s now finished her fifth year, it’s been two and a half years since she and Remus broke up and honestly, she can barely believe it.  It seems like only yesterday they were sharing their first picnic.  Everyday it gets harder being around him and knowing he thinks she doesn’t love him, thinks she doesn’t think of him every single day. Only now he knows she loves him and that makes everything easier to deal with.

Using Severus’ tips on dealing with the Imperius curse she’s managed to do things of her own volition, but every time something has managed to give her a strong enough reason why not, she’s had to deal with that situation.  Like when Del was hurt, she used her power over herself to run and get James.  She just has to keep trying, if she can just tell Lucius or Severus what’s happened she knows they’d deal with it.  Honestly she isn’t sure why they haven’t yet, perhaps they don’t know for sure, maybe there’s some other complication, but she knows more certainly than anything that they haven’t given up on her, and they won’t.

When the train ride back to King’s Cross, which seems shorter every year, ends, she knows somehow that this is it.  After this summer, she’ll either be free, or stuck forever, and suddenly feels like she’ll be sick.

 

A week later, there’s a dinner, her parents have not said so, but she knows at some point tonight she’ll be taking the mark whether she likes it or not.  Everyone who is anyone in pureblood society will be in her house tonight, everyone _except_ the Malfoys.  For some reason she nods to herself as she stands in her room, looking at the letter she’d received from Lucius about it.  He does this sometimes, knowing that she couldn’t reply, or if she did it would be complete bullshit.  But he kept doing it because it kept the real her informed, and man but she whole-heartedly approved of this man for her sister.  Bellatrix looks out of her bedroom door at the thought of her sister, she tells Lucius’ owl to stay where it is before leaving her room and knocking on Narcissa’s door.

“Enter,” Narcissa calls from inside, Bellatrix opens the door and walks in to find her sister sat at her dresser looking nervous.

“Are you all right Cissy?” Narcissa smiles at her and nods.

“Can I help you Bella?” Bellatrix looks uncertain suddenly before forcing six words out.

“You know I love you, right?” Narcissa seems taken aback, standing up and walking over to her.

“Of course I do, and I love you too.” Bellatrix nods, she knew this, she just had to be sure that went both ways.  Narcissa seems to debate something before she goes and shuts the door, dragging her sister over to her bed and sitting down beside her, “Bella listen to me, I _know_.  Lucius told me.” Bellatrix feels hope blossom, tears filling her eyes before they’re dried up.

“What do you mean?” Suddenly it’s the curse speaking entirely and Bellatrix is locked back in her mind.

“The curse, I know.  I know what they did to you and I know that it will make you deny it, so I promise not to believe a word of that.  Well, to be honest, we suspect we know which spell was used, we don’t know _for certain_ , but we know this isn’t you and we’ll work this out for sure.”

“Cissy, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.” Narcissa cups her face with her hand.

“I don’t believe you.” Bellatrix has never loved her sister so much, she wishes she could tell her, “Will you tell our parents about this conversation?”

“Well, you’re being weird, so yes, I will.” _NO!_ Bellatrix screams from within, something of it must have showed on her face because Narcissa hugs her close.

“I know you don’t want to.  I’m going to have to obliviate you, okay?  You won’t remember this, but by Salazar, I hope you know that we’re going to save you.  I promise, we’ll get you back, we’ll free you.  I love you so much Bella, always.”

“All right, Cissy, why don’t you just stay here for a moment while I go get Father because I’m getting very concerned about you.” Narcissa nods.

“I would, but I have to take your memories now.” Bellatrix reaches for her wand, only to find it gone, “Yes, unfortunately I’m pretty good at being nefarious and grabbed your wand a while ago. I’m sorry about this, _obliviate_.” Narcissa sees her sister blink blankly a few times before she starts talking, “…so I’m concerned he doesn’t feel the same way, you know?  Am I being ridiculous?”

“Cissy?  What’s going on?” Narcissa looks at her in concern.

“Are you all right Bella?”

“Yes, of course, I just…I was in my room…”

“No, you were in here, we were talking about Lucius, remember?” The curse kicks in, she’s supposed to act normal.

“Yes, of course, sorry.  You were saying?” Narcissa then bullshits her way through an entire conversation and honestly, she’s proud.

 _And here I thought the spell would go further than the curse_ _…_ Bellatrix thinks to herself from well within her own mind.  The curse somehow knew nothing of their previous conversation, but she remembers it.

 

Eventually the two have to go down to the dinner as guests start arriving, Bellatrix calms herself by remembering that the Dark Lord won’t arrive until after everyone is gone.

It’s three hours later that it happens, Bellatrix had been happily thinking of her conversation with her sister while talking with her peers from school.

“Honestly, those mudbloods just ruin everything, dirtying our schools, it makes me sick,” Avery tells them with a sneer.

“You agree, don’t you Bellatrix?” Rodolphus asks her pointedly, she looks at Avery, she sees the scars on his face,

 _That will always remain visible, every time you see it Avery, remember that that is the calmest response you could have possibly gotten for that remark.  Remember that if I ever hear you say something like that again, you will be useless to your family because you will be unable to produce an heir.  Remember that that scar was made in the name of Lily Evans and every muggle-born and half-blood you or anyone else has ever been daft enough to remain prejudiced against.  Remember that you will forever be_ less _than you were because you were a bigoted git, and remember I was the one to make you that way._ Bellatrix scrunches her nose up.

“Of course.” She sees a house elf with a drinks tray about to walk behind her and inwardly apologises to the elf as she turns and walks into it, the drinks going all down her dress, “YOU DISGUSTING CREATURE, HOW DARE YOU?!” She then storms off and up the stairs, hearing her parents say something about her lasting longer than they expected without something going wrong. _Why, Why would I say something I didn_ _’_ _t believe.  I know why not.  Lily is why not.  One of my best friends and a muggle-born who deserves so much better than this world._

Bellatrix goes to her room and grabs a piece of paper, glad to see Lucius’ owl still at her window.

_It_ _’_ _s the Imperius curse, they_ _’_ _re going to make me take the mark._

_Help me._

She attaches the note to the owl’s leg, “Take it to Lucius.”  The owl flies off and she sits in her room, hoping it gets there in time.

 

Four hours later her Father calls her down.  Everyone has left, she knows it’s almost time.  He calls her into his study and tells her to have a seat, Narcissa already in there.

“Now girls, tonight is a very important night.  Our Lord has agreed that it’s time you both pledge your allegiance to him.  Tonight, you’ll receive the Dark Mark and become Death Eaters as I have,” He tells them, pulling up his sleeve and showing them the mark, Bellatrix feels Narcissa tense up beside her, yet another reason why not, _my sister will_ not _be defaced by that_ thing _!_

Bellatrix forces herself to remain calm, Lucius would get there in time, he _had_ to.

 

 

Lucius Malfoy isn’t exactly who most people think he is. 

Sure, he’s a Slytherin through and through, ambitious, sly, cunning, self-respecting, very strong in the self-preservation department, but beyond that, he’s not what you’d expect.  He doesn’t give a rat’s arse what blood status you hold, only believing that Muggles themselves should be kept away from their society for the safety of all, doesn’t give a _hoot_ that one of his friends is a Werewolf.

He initially got close to Remy Lupin for the sole purpose of using him for his own gain, then in an effort to destroy him, only now he’s actually found he’s grown close to the other boy.  He’s seen who he is behind the ruthlessness he’s so well known for, seen that he’s self-conscious, he’s afraid, and far too compassionate for his own good.

Which is another thing people don’t expect from Lucius, he’s an extremely empathetic person.  In fact, he’s quite literally an empath, not that he’d _ever_ admit that to anyone, it all ties into that whole self-preservation thing.

It’s one of the things that has made him so intent to help the youngest Black sister, he doesn’t feel the curse, he feels her.  He _feels_ how afraid she is as though it were his own fear, and he feels her belief in he and Severus.  He doesn’t want to let her down, he wants to save her.  If he were to be entirely honest, and he’d kiss Dumbledore’s boot before admitting this out loud, one of the main reasons is his insane need to see Bellatrix and Remy together again.  Their feelings for each other so damned loud he can feel it reverberate through his bones.

Lucius often reflects on himself, he believes it important to know himself and his own mind, lest someone find a weakness in him he wasn’t aware of.  Of course, some weaknesses he knows of and just can’t bring himself to cut off.

Narcissa Black, he honestly never saw himself falling in love, but he’s felt it in enough people to recognise it in himself, and he feels his feelings returned in her.  It’s another big reason for his helping Bellatrix, he knows how much her sister means to Narcissa.

He doesn’t know what’s going to happen, it’s not as though he can see the future, but he doesn’t mind.  All he wants is to have Narcissa with him, be in touch with Remy, and have Bellatrix close enough by to keep his love happy and content.  Though a child or two would not be remiss.

The biggest problem in this plan of his is the same problem in all of his other plans, and right now, it’s screaming at his mother.

“STUPID WOMAN!  I WORK ALL DAY AND COME HOME TO AN EMPTY TABLE?!”

“I-I wasn’t expecting you until later…” Lucius winces, knowing that won’t be taken well.  A tapping on the window interrupts the argument, looking round he sees his owl and panics, knowing his Father’s anger would turn on him.  But he _needs_ to see that letter.  The owl had been delivering to Bellatrix, if he’s gotten something back, it may be important. Though more than likely it’s more curse-driven bullshit.  Still, he gets to the window as quickly as possible and grabs the letter from the bird, quickly reading it, eyes widening.  He looks up to see his Father looming over him and shuts the window, owl on the other side.  Lucius does the only thing he can think of and eats the letter before his father can grab it.

“That’s how it is, is it?” Lucius gulps.

“Evidently so.” His father slaps him, Lucius takes it.

“You don’t ever speak to me like that again.  Now what was that letter?”

“Mine.”

“Don’t give me that cheek!” Abraxas Malfoy grabs his son by the hair, throwing him to the floor.

“Ah!” Lucius yelps as he hits the ground, immediately getting kicked in the stomach.  As his Father continues hitting and kicking him he turns and faces the door, he sees the fireplace from here and does the only thing he can think of, he turns and punches his Father as hard as he can in the nose before getting up and running as fast as he can to the fireplace.

“Black Manor!” He says clearly as he throws a handful of floo powder to the ground, he stumbles out in time to see Druella holding Narcissa by the hair as she cries, Bellatrix sitting stoically, and Cygnus sitting at his desk, watching his youngest closely.  That is, until Lucius arrives and brings all their attention to him.  Bellatrix looks so damned relieved, he feels it flood through him as he grabs his wand and points it at Druella, “Let her go.”

“Boy, don’t do this,” Cygnus warns, drawing his own wand, Lucius moves and points his at Cygnus.  Of course, then Druella points hers at him and he knows he can’t take them both on.

Everything happens so quickly after that.  He hears the floo activate behind him, sees Narcissa draw her wand and hears her cast the killing curse.  He sees her mother about to curse someone, he’s unsure if it’s him or Narcissa, either way he reacts.

“Bombarda Maxima!” She flies into the roof, sliding along it until she hits the wall and leaves a sizable dent before dropping to the floor.  He can see the blood, he can see her broken neck, he knows she’s dead.  He hears a squelching sound, and suddenly it’s not Druella that Narcissa is looking at in horror, it’s something beside him.  He looks over to see Cygnus Black in his desk chair with his own wand sticking out of his throat, his eyes wide as he gargles a few times, fear in his eyes, before he dies.  Bellatrix standing behind the chair and looking like she’s in shock.  Only then does Lucius look round to see who Narcissa had killed, unsurprised to see the empty gaze of Abraxas Malfoy.

“What have we done?” Bellatrix asks suddenly, the three looking around the room, still unable to accept they had been the ones to do this.

“A-Are you back?” Lucius asks her, she nods.

“Yeah, yeah I am.  Thank you, so much, thank you.”  She launches herself at him, holding him tightly, he holds her back.  Narcissa walks over and hugs them both, Lucius wrapping an arm around her too, “Rodolphus, he-he was co-caster but…this weakened the curse enough for me to break it.” Lucius starts slightly.

“He knew?  He…he was co-caster?” Bellatrix nods, “I’d say I’ll kill him, but at this point that seems a little less like the empty threat it would be.  I will, however, threaten him with Remy at the next available moment.”

“Remy!” Bellatrix suddenly says, launching herself into the fireplace, “Lupin household.”  Then she’s gone.

“She does realise she’s got blood on her, right?” Narcissa shakes her head.

“Probably not.  Merlin Lucius, we just killed three people!  Our _parents_!  We’re going to end up in Azkaban, what do we do?  _WHAT DO WE DO?!_ ” Lucius takes both her shoulders in his hands and looks her in the eye.

“We stay calm, I’m going to write to Severus, he needs to know what happened.” Narcissa nods, tears streaming down her face, “Come on, we shouldn’t stay in here.”

 

Bellatrix stumbles out of the floo into the house of the Lupins, she’d only been here once before, years ago, it hadn’t changed.

“Bellatrix?” Hope asks in obvious confusion, then her eyes widen as she takes the girl in properly, “Dear god, what happened to you?” Bellatrix looks over herself and sees the blood for the first time, evidently having sprayed up from her father’s throat when she’d stabbed him.  She feels a sob force it’s way out of her mouth as tears start falling before she puts a hand over her mouth and shakes her head.

“I-Is Remy here?” Hope shakes her head.

“No, I’m sorry, he’s at the Potters.”

“Then I have to go, thank you, sorry for the intrusion.”  Bellatrix really couldn’t believe herself when she says that before climbing back into the fireplace and grabbing a handful of floo powder, “Potter Mansion.”

“Trixie?!” She hears, she looks up and finds the Marauders in the living room when she exits the floo.  Remus runs at her and she just collapses into her arms, bursting into tears.  She hears two sets of footsteps and assumes it’s Euphemia and Monty but ignores it as she sobs into Remus’ shoulder, his arms wrapped tightly around her as they kneel on the floor in front of the fireplace together.

Bellatrix isn’t sure how long it is before she calms down some, but eventually she does.

“Trixie?  What happened?” Bellatrix looks into Remus’ eyes and nearly loses it again.

“I-I-Imp-perius curse.  Th-They cast the Im-Imperius curse on me.  I-I’m so sorry,” She tells him, crying again, his eyes widen in horror as he pulls her close to him again, a hand stroking through her hair.

“And now what he said makes sense,” Peter says to James who nods, the room turns to look at them, both freeze.

“It’s what Severus and Lucius have been up to,” James explains.  Sirius has apparently had enough because he walks over and wraps his arms around Bellatrix, Remus moving back slightly to allow him that but still with his knees touching Bellatrix’s.

“I’m so sorry, I should have realised, I –”

“No, don’t.  You couldn’t have.  Besides, it doesn’t matter anymore.”  With that she starts crying again, the room exchanges worried looks.

“How did you break the curse Bella?” Euphemia asks her as she kneels beside her and grabs her hands.  Bellatrix shuts her eyes as she cries, hiccupping slightly.

“I didn’t, not really.  M-My Parents were going to…” Bellatrix’s eyes widen, “Oh shit!  Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!”

“Bella?”

“No no no, I left them there, Cissy and Lucius, I left them there, he’s going to be there!”

“Who?” Euphemia asks her, she looks at her in terror.

“Voldemort.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTES:  
> I forgot to mention, all he potions and spells I’ve had my characters create I’ve written notes for detailing how to cast it, how they work, ways to reverse it, all those sorts of things. So if anyone is curious about any of them, feel free to ask and I’ll either have an answer or be able to work it out and add it to my notes 


	33. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT I’ll do the usual warning before and after. MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM. VERY VAGUE REFERENCE TO PAST-ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Lucius and Narcissa sit in the Dining room in silence for an unknown amount of time before Severus shows up.

“Holy Fuck!”

“In here,” Lucius calls out, Severus walks into the dining room looking pale.

“Sorry it took so long, had to run to my Parents’ house to use the floo.”

“Sorry you had to do that,” Lucius tells him seriously Severus scoffs in wide-eyed disbelief.

“Like hell.  What happened?  Where’s Bella?”

“I expect she’s with Remy by now,” He replies, Severus nods, “She got a message to me, Imperius curse, they’re going to make me take the mark, help me.  I came straight over and…well it happened rather quickly after that.”

“If it happened quickly why do you look like you went ten rounds with a rhinoceros?”

“Had an argument with my father before coming here.” Severus winces.

“I assume he’s the blond in there?” Lucius nods, Narcissa starts crying again.

“Narcissa, he’d have killed me.” She nods.

“I know I just…oh Salazar…” They hear the floo activate again and all freeze, looking at each other, then it clicks in Severus’ mind.

“Didn’t you say something about her receiving the mark?” Lucius nods, then it clicks for him as well, Narcissa screams suddenly, Lucius pulling her behind him.  Severus stops breathing for a moment before spinning around and seeing a remarkably familiar man standing behind him.

“I suppose you three would be responsible for the mess in the other room?” The three nod without even exchanging a look agreeing to do so, “Quite impressive.”

“And you are?” Severus asks, the man raises an eyebrow at him, Severus shrugs, “Can’t blame a man for trying.” If anything, the man seems amused.

“Roana Gaunt, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Roana Gaunt?” Lucius and Narcissa ask in sync, the man nods.

“You probably know me by another name, one most don’t dare to speak.”

“Voldemort,” Severus says, looking into the man’s eyes unwaveringly, Roana stalks around him appraisingly.

“ _Very_ impressive.  Or very stupid.”

“Sorry, you did say Roana Gaunt, didn’t you?” Narcissa asks again, Roana turns and faces her, nodding and beginning to look annoyed, she turns to Lucius in disbelief, “That son of a bitch actually managed to…”

“Apparently so…”

“Currently in a room with Voldemort and what the hell are you talking about?” Severus asks them in abject disbelief.

“Cygnus once compared a friend of ours to Roana Gaunt, we had no idea who he was at the time, but apparently they’re alike.”

“Your friend?” Roana asks, Lucius nods.  Severus frowns at them, Lucius briefly looks out the window, Severus looks too and sees the moon is directly through the window.  Two things become apparent to Severus in that moment, one, they’re talking about Remy, and two, Lucius knows Remus is a Lycanthrope.

“You know, that’s not the first time that comparison has been made, granted last time it was with the moniker you-know-who but still.”

“Are they wrong though?” Narcissa asks them both, they immediately go to protest before stopping.

“That depends on how you look at it I suppose…” Lucius begins.

“He _is_ the one who once said he respected him,” Severus points out, jerking a thumb at the bewildered Dark Lord.

“Yes but he was just trying to make my parents like him.”

“And it ruddy worked,” Lucius adds.

“They don’t like him anymore.”

“They don’t like _anything_ anymore, they’re dead!” Narcissa reminds them rather hysterically before she just about starts hyperventilating, Lucius getting her to copy his breathing.

“Are you going to stand there silently forever?” Severus asks Roana who looks at him with a thoughtful look, “What?”

“I’m trying to decide if you are all brave, or stupid.”

“Bit of both probably.”

“See, I have a problem now.  I came here looking to gain two Death Eaters, and instead discover I’ve lost two and a loyal follower.” The three kids are instantly on edge again, Severus subtly manoeuvring his wand out of his sleeve and into his hand, “How are we going to fix this?”

“They’re your followers, isn’t that sort of your prerogative?” Lucius asks, trying to get Roana’s attention.

 _Stupefy_ , Severus thinks as hard as he can, pointing his wand at the Dark Lord.  Nothing happens, Severus inwardly sighs, _STUPEFY!_ The spell fires, but Roana blocks it, suddenly all four have their wands out, pointed at each other.

“Now, no one do anything rash –” Roana begins, Severus starts firing every curse he can think of, the other two following his lead, and suddenly they’re duelling the Dark Lord.

A minute later, Lucius is tied to a chair, wand a few feet away.  Thirty seconds after that, Narcissa is stuck to the wall.  Then it’s Severus against Lord Voldemort.

“That wasn’t terribly well thought out, was it?” Severus smirks.

“Too much time with Gryffindors I’d expect.”

“Why on Earth would you spe–” Severus begins casting again and the duel continues.  He should be terrified, but he’s spent literally years training as best he could for this moment, he knows all he can do is his best for as long as possible.

Then he has help, Lucius is back by his side and the two are herding Voldemort into a corner.  He traps Lucius in a cupboard under the stairs before turning and grabbing Severus by the throat.  He’d trained for this too.  Severus karate chops at the man’s throat, the Dark Lord drops his wand as he grabs his own throat, letting go of Severus at the same time.  Evidently, he was not used to hand to hand combat.  Severus kicks him in the face for good measure before grabbing the man’s wand and using it to release the other two while pointing his own at the man before him.

“Stupefy!” Severus cries, the man puts a hand up, catching the curse in a ball and throwing it to the wall uselessly.

“Oh fuck,” Lucius mutters, evidently thinking the same as he, this bastard could take on Remy!

“Right then,” Roana holds out a hand and his wand flies from Severus’ grip and into his own, “I must admit, I was _not_ expecting that.  Nor that you are all still prepared to fight,” He tells them, seeing all their wands at the ready, he smirks, waving a hand. All three of them are suddenly floating in the air, wands out of reach.  They squirm and kick and anything else they can think of, but they can’t get loose, “Now as I was saying, I’ve lost three people tonight because of you three.” He clenches his fist, the three feeling their throats constrict.  Lucius and Narcissa begin clawing at their own necks, Severus stays calm, conserving oxygen as he tries desperately to think of a way out of this, “However, you have all proven you can be useful and resourceful and determined, so…I’m willing to make a deal.  You all join me, and I let you live.” 

None seem prepared to join him, his fist clenches tighter, Severus focuses inwards, he needs a plan.  He looks around, trying to find some kind of inspiration.  Then, Narcissa grabs a hold of the chandelier above her, yanking on one side before launching it forward, it goes flying at the man who ducks out of the way but loses them as he does so.  They all split in different directions, none able to get to their wands, but there is one wand Severus can reach.

Severus leaps over the body of Druella Black, yanking Cygnus’ wand out of his throat and turning, just in time to deflect the curse the Dark Lord throws at him, now with his wand again.

“Now now, let’s be adults.  Talk this through properly.”

“ _Crucio_.” The Lord drops to the ground, writhing in pain.  Severus looks up to see Lucius pointing Narcissa’s wand at the man, evidently having snuck up behind him.  Narcissa grabs the man’s wand, impulsively snapping it in half before grabbing Lucius’ and Severus’ wands.  She chucks Severus’ at him, he drops the bloody one and catches his own. It’s then that Severus sees Lucius is frozen, shaking, and something is severely wrong.  He does the only thing he can think of.

“Expelliarmus.” Narcissa’s wand goes flying out of Lucius’ hand and he drops to the ground curling in on himself.  It takes a moment, but Roana manages to look over.

“Never a good idea for an empath to cast that one, I’m rather impressed you held it so long though.” Roana stands, waving a hand and moving all three of them into the dining room, grabbing the pieces of his wand and placing them on the table, the three put in seats and then…released, “Join me, all three of you.  You’re in a rare position, I want you on my side, so what will it take?” Narcissa and Severus exchange looks, Lucius still out of it, “Let me add, none of us are leaving without you having joined me or all of you being dead.  You might as well gain something from it.”

“Neither you, nor any of your people, ever kill or harm Regulus Black in anyway,” Narcissa tells him, Roana seems surprised but nods.

“Very well…”

“We’re not done. You never make any of the three of us turn on Remus Lupin, _and_ if he comes into harms way we are allowed to attempt to protect him and only him without being marked as traitors provided we don’t kill your people,” Severus says, no room for argument in his voice but doing his best to make his demand plausible and not ridiculous.

“Who the devil is Remus Lupin?”

“Does it matter?” Roana leans back in his chair, crossing his arms.

“I suppose for now it does not, anything else?” He asks in a way that makes it seem like he won’t tolerate any more.  Lucius decides to ignore that, speaking up though none had realised he had recovered enough to do so.

“Narcissa never takes the mark.”

“Lucius!  You…”

“Narcissa never takes the mark.  That’s the final condition and it’s non-negotiable.”  Roana thinks about it for a moment before nodding.

“I’ll agree to all of it, however these are my conditions.  The two of you take my mark, all three of you work for me, you do as I order you and you fight for my cause, with the singular exception of protecting this…Remus Lupin in anyway that does not fatally injure one of our people.” The three look nervously at each other, but really, what choice did they have?  It was this or death, and now, their lives would protect two people they all care about to different degrees.  Besides, if they die now, they’ve made Regulus and Remus particular targets for the Dark Lord’s curiosity.  They nod.

“We agree,” Lucius tells him, forcing the words out despite not wanting this entire situation to be real. Roana smiles.

“That’s we agree, My Lord.” Lucius glares at him.

“We agree, My Lord,” He spits out, Voldemort nods.

“We’ll work on the respect.  Now…who _are_ you two, I gather from his condition of agreement that you are Narcissa Black?” Severus can’t help the incredulous chuckle that escapes him even as Narcissa nods.

“Lucius Malfoy,” Lucius tells him, Severus hesitates to answer.

“You work for me now, you’re going to do a lot worse than tell me your name.” Severus takes a breath, trying to regain some control.

“Severus Snape.”

“Where’s your sister?” Narcissa smirks.

“Not here.”

“I don’t appreciate attitude.”

“I don’t know where she is.” An angry look takes over Roana’s face, Narcissa holds her hands up, “I really don’t.”

“Well where did she _go_?”

“Looking for Remus Lupin.”

“Who the devil is this Remus Lupin?!” It’s Lucius who chuckles this time.

“We find ourselves asking that frequently.” Roana sighs.

“You mentioned a friend, one who’d been compared to me on numerous occasions, who is that?”  The three exchange looks before looking back at him and responding in sync.

“Remus Lupin.” Roana pinches the bridge of his nose.

“How can someone be like I am without my knowing?”

“Well, he’s significantly less homicidal, though…it’s not that he hasn’t been willing to, everyone’s just complied with his wishes prior to anyone dying,” Narcissa tells him, “What is it he said that night?” Lucius smiles slightly in remembrance though to the other two it sounded like a very vague statement.

“Fear can be a powerful motivator when you want people to follow your direction.”

“This sounds like a man I’d be interested to meet.” Lucius smirks, looking straight at him.

“I would _pay_ to see how that plays out.”

“In the meantime, I believe there is something else to be done before our agreement begins.” Severus and Lucius both lose all their mirth as they nod, “Now, I no longer have my _wand_ ,” He says with a pointed look to Narcissa who has apparently given up being scared and stares back defiantly, “I’ll have to use someone else’s.”

“Well there are plenty abandoned on the floor in this place now,” Severus comments dryly as he looks around the parts of the house he can see, they really made a mess of things.

In the end he picks up Lucius’ and places the Dark Mark on the left forearm or both Severus and Lucius.  He then removes them from the dead bodies in the living room.

“I’ll be in touch.”  Then he’s gone.

“Did that really just fucking happen?” Severus exclaims, Lucius looks at his arm with a grimace and nods, poking at the mark.

“On the other hand, how many teenagers can say they survived a duel with the Dark Lord?  And you did it on your own for a while there!”

“Also, you’re an empath?” Severus asks Lucius who seems uncomfortable but nods.  Narcissa looks around numbly for a moment.

“I uh…I’ll make tea…I suppose.”

 

Fifteen minutes later, the house elves have cleared up everything outside of the study (Read murder scene) and the three teenagers are sat around the dining room table once more, now drinking tea.  That’s when three Aurors, Monty, Bellatrix, and Remus show up, a house elf directing them to the dining room.  The they walk there, bewildered by the strange welcome, and even more discombobulated to see Narcissa, Severus, and Lucius sat drinking tea in silence.  Lucius looks up at them and grimaces.

“This isn’t _nearly_ as psychopathic as it appears.”

 

Hours later, Aurors have taken all their statements, they’ve told the truth.  How Lucius and Severus had been looking into this for months, how Narcissa got involved, how Severus had fought off the Imperius curse in class, how Bellatrix had done the same.  They tell them about the note and the confrontation and Bellatrix leaving, they mention owling Severus so that he knows the curse is broken and about Severus turning up and finding the scene and the two of them freaking out.  They say they assumed Bellatrix would show up with help and decided the best thing they could do was stay and wait, but it had taken so long Narcissa had been hyperventilating and Lucius was still in pain from his initial beating from his Father and Severus just had no idea what to do and so they’d made tea.  Every inch of it had been decided by the three beforehand, and most of it was true.  All of it is believed.

 

Bellatrix and Narcissa are orphans now, they’ll go to their Aunt and Uncle of course, but that’s to be dealt with in the morning.  The four of them are allowed to stay at the Potters for the night, and that’s how they find themselves stepping out of the floo into the Potter mansion one by one.

“Sev?” James asks in surprise, walking over and embracing him tightly, Severus hugs him back, already feeling ashamed of what lie beneath the sleeve of his shirt.

“Cissy!  Are you all right?” Sirius asks her worriedly, checking her over for injuries before pulling her in for a hug, she’s surprised but hugs him back.

“I’m fine Ri.” Narcissa looks over his shoulder at Bellatrix and Remus holding each other, foreheads resting against one another, “I’m sorry about Bella and Remy, well, sort of.” Sirius chuckles, looking round as well but keeping an arm around his cousin, he shakes his head as he watches them with a smile.

“I’m not.” Narcissa smiles too.  It’s then that Sirius realises something very important, to love someone means to do what is best for them, he sighs, “Lils, Prongs, can I borrow your boyfriend for a moment?”  The three exchange looks as everyone else in the room looks at him in confusion.

“Um, sure?” James replies uncertainly, Severus looks at Sirius questioningly, Sirius sighs again.

“I just want to say, Remus, on occasion, I know I’ve been a bit of a dick about you dating my cousin.” Remus frowns at him.

“Sirius, where are you going with this?” Sirius smiles slightly.

“I said once, that I would kiss Snivellus before I would be okay with you and Bellatrix.” Remus nods.

“I do recall the conversation yes,” He says amusedly, then Sirius turns and kisses Severus, very briefly, before wiping at his mouth as though he’d just kissed a rotting toad corpse.  Everyone looks at him with shock, Severus looking like he’s _in_ shock. 

“I know you don’t need it, but I want you both to know, that you have my blessing.” Then Bellatrix rushes and hugs Sirius, closely followed by Remus.

“Thank you,” Remus tells him sincerely.

“Did I really have to go through that for you to say this?” Severus asks unhappily as he scrunches his face up in disgust.

Sufficed to say, Del was a little surprised by the company when she got home that night.

 

Sirius decides to stay with his family for the rest of the summer, so when camping out on a warm night is decided, it’s just Remus, James, and Peter.  They’re sitting round playing exploding snap when Peter suddenly starts laughing.

“What’s going on Wormtail?” James asks, Peter shakes his head, quickly ceasing his laughter.

“No, nothing, I just realised something but with everything else that’s happened it’s just completely inappropriate.”

“I know Sirius and I have a habit of shutting you up even when you’re right or being helpful and we just haven’t noticed, and I’m trying to work on that.  So if it’s one of those times, I won’t be mad.” Peter smiles at his friend but shakes his head.

“It’s not really it’s just, we’re going to be getting a new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher again, the curse remains intact.”  James and Remus look at one another for a moment before both laughing as well.

“Yeah, bad timing but…I think I needed that,” Remus tells them after he’s calmed down, the other two can’t help but agree.

“Well, maybe this year will be quiet?”  James shrugs.

“Maybe.”

 

**WARNING**

“Moony, Moony just step back from the edge!” Sirius pleads, tears streaming down his face as he looks from Moony to the astronomy tower railing that he’s on the _other_ side of.

“I TRUSTED YOU!  AND YOU BETRAYED ME!”

“I know, I know, and I fucked up, _so_ badly, I’m sorry Moons, I’m so sorry.” Moony looks at him, heartbroken.

“I don’t believe you.” With that he let’s go of the railing, and steps off the edge.

“NO!” Sirius screams, Severus watches with wide-eyes, only, he’s no longer watching the scene.

He’s at the dinner table at the Evans’, it’s summer holidays so no one’s on the astronomy tower. **IT** **’** **S OVER.**

“Sev?” Petunia asks in concern, she’s sitting on the side of the table beside Lily, Severus is at the head of the table by Lily and on the other side Laura Evans.  At the other head of the table is Phia who apparently stays at the Evans’ on regular occasions, she and Petunia having grown quite close despite their age gap.

“Mmm?”

“Are you all right?” Severus just sort of nods vaguely and not at all believably.

“What’s wrong Sev?” Lily asks, taking on of his hands in her own.  He scratches the back of his neck, a habit he’s picked up from James, the thought always makes him laugh and think of what his first year self would have thought of that.  He wonders what his first year self would have thought of a lot of things, actually.

“Nothing just…I don’t think this year will be a quiet one.”

 

“REMY, REMY, REMY, REMY, REMY!” Bellatrix calls as she sprints through King’s Cross, finally finding her target and running at him.  He smiles and opens his arms, catching her easily and twirling her around.

“Hey Trixie, how are you?” She grins and jumps clapping a little.

“I’m an Aunt!”

“You’re a what?”

“An Aunt, Drom had a baby!”

“Oh my god, Trixie, that’s amazing!” She grins and nods, still bursting with excitement.

“I… _may_ have been a tad sneaky…”

“How so?” Peter asks nervously, because yes, the rest of the group _is_ there, but no, neither had really paid attention to that.  Then Bellatrix launches herself at each of them in turn, needless apologies and many a hug given.

“I think that’s how,” Mary says, pointing behind the majority of the group who then turn and see Ted, Drom, and a baby walking towards them.  Well, the baby isn’t walking, but that’s not the point.

“Oh, _you_ were sneaky, were you?” Lucius asks, he, Narcissa, and Sirius having shown up a few moments after Bellatrix did and at a much more sedate pace.

“It was my idea!”

“I executed it!”

“Children,” Narcissa chastises, both back down.

“Sorry Dear/Cissy.”

“Hello again all,” Drom greets when the three make it to them, greetings are exchanged, and then Narcissa and Bellatrix are focusing on the baby, their niece, “Her name is Nymphadora Tonks.”

“HOLY FUCK DID HER HAIR JUST CHANGE COLOUR?!” Remus suddenly shrieks, jumping away, Drom starts laughing at him so much Ted’s forced to take the baby from her.  The baby actually being about a year old.

“She’s a metamorphagus.”

“A meta what-a-what?” Remus asks, still sounding severely creeped out.

“It means she can change her physical appearance at will, but at this age, it’s more likely that her hair or eye colour, or both, will change depending on mood,” Lily explains, Sirius snorts.

“Remus, your nerding is failing.”

“Shut up you tosser.”

“You love me, really.  Best friends and all.”

“Peter’s my best friend.”

“Well fuck you too, Mate.” Remus grins at Sirius who dramatically drops his head on to Del’s shoulder.

“You’re all I have in this world now Del,” Del giggles.

“Now, I’m offended,” Tom’s voice speaks up, Sirius smiles and hugs the boy who then hugs Del and kisses her cheek.

“It’s like I’m a sack of potatoes these days,” James complains, Severus wraps his arms around his waist and puts his chin on his shoulder.

“Yes love, however, you’re a sack of potatoes in the midst of becoming a French fry.” James laughs.

“Thanks Dear.” Severus chuckles as James puts an arm around him and grabs one of Lily’s hands.

“Hey sweetie, do you want to give your Aunt Bella a hug?” Ted asks his daughter who looks blinks in confusion.  Ted puts her down, holding onto her hands to help her walk over.

“Hi Nymphadora,” Bellatrix says, lifting the child up and onto her hip, she seems quite content.

“Hi,” She replies quietly.  A few moments later though she squirms a bit and then starts crying for no apparent reason.

“Okay, how do you calm her down?” Remus warily steps closer again, as soon as the child sees him, she calms down and smiles at him, her hair turning pink.

“What does that mean?”

“Means she likes you, I guess?” Lily answers unsurely.

“Want to carry her?” Andromeda asks Remus who still seems rather off-put by the changing hair colour, he nods hesitantly so Bellatrix hands the child over.

“Hi Nymphadora, bit of a mouthful, isn’t it?  How about Dora?” Dora giggles.

“Do-ra.” Remus smiles at the baby, obviously enchanted by the young child.

“Yeah, Dora.  I’m Remy,”

“Re.” Remus grins.

“Can you get her to say Mummy?” Andromeda asks, clearly impressed and surprised.

“Dora, you say Mummy?” Dora stares blankly, “What about Dada?” She says nothing, then she giggles.

“Re.”

“She says a bunch of words but she won’t say our names.”

“She’s so cute!” Her hair changes to a pastel blue and Remus briefly panics however does _not_ drop the child so he’s rather proud of himself, “Anyone else want to hold her?  How about, Auntie Cissy?”

“That child is _not_ calling me that,” Narcissa declares.

“What about Narc?” Narcissa glares at him, he chuckles as he hands the child over to her.  He walks over and puts an arm around Bellatrix’s waist, Bellatrix leans into his side happily.  Remus looks down at her and the two kiss briefly, the group sharing smiles and general happiness start clapping at them, James letting out a whoop! Of joy.  This gets a lot of attention from those around them who see the two snuggled close together.  All the students of the school who are old enough to have been there when they were together start clapping and cheering as well, those who are too young seem _very_ confused.  Remus buries his face in Bellatrix’s hair in embarrassment, Bellatrix just smiles widely, she’s home.

“I never got to thank you,” Narcissa tells Severus quietly who raises an eyebrow at her, “For protecting her, telling you-know-who that you were involved with what happened.” Severus shrugs.

“She’s my friend, my family.  We protect one another in this group, and actively apart of it or not, I think you’ll find that extends to the two of you now as well.  Just as it does for Drom, and no doubt now Dora too.  My point is, you never have to thank me for that,” He tells her, she smiles at him and nods before looking back down at the kid on her hip and pressing a kiss to the top of her niece’s head.

“I suppose I am Auntie Cissy,” She decides.

 

The train ride is an odd one, so many things had changed seemingly over night despite having all been in small groups throughout the summer.

Sirius, Del, Tom, and Nari sit in the cabin next to the one that houses Mary, Marlene, Alice, Frank, Peter, Lily, and James.  Severus, Remus, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Lucius in the next one over so James and Lily keep moving back and forth between those two, James often going to his sister and Sirius as well.   If anything, this cemented one thing in the Marauders’ minds, their group may grow and change, but they would always make it work.

“So, Remus, I hear there’s something you didn’t mention to anyone else,” Lily tells him as she sits down in the third carriage.

“And that is?”

“That I’m not the _only_ new prefect,” She says, pointing to her badge that is proudly displayed on her shirt.  Remus sighs, Severus, James, Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Lucius looking at him in surprise.

“That’s because I’m going to McGonagall as soon as we arrive to refuse the position.  I’ve no idea what they were thinking, I have a very long history of being a complete and utter nuisance and posing a serious danger to the school.”

“No Remy, you have a long history of being willing to do _anything_ to protect the school’s students from harm.  Sounds like a good fit to me,” Lucius tells him, he smiles gratefully but still seems unconvinced.

“Come with me to the meeting, then see how you feel,” Lily requests, Remus sighs but nods, “Oh don’t forget your badge!”

“I um, it’s in my trunk.”

“We’ll unpack it for you,” James and Bellatrix say in sync, clearly excited about his new position, Remus shakes his head, they seem confused.  He chews on his lip nervously, Severus’ eyes widen slightly before he takes the reigns.

“Good call, Silver has never really been your colour,” He tells them, Bellatrix and James stop protesting and Lily just takes the opportunity to drag him out.  James heads back to the other compartment when Lily leaves.

“So…couldn’t help noticing that Remy’s pretty good with kids…”

“Dora terrified the crap out of him,” Bellatrix tells her with a chuckle, a blush covering her cheeks.

“Yes, that was hilarious,” Lucius says, he and Severus laughing.  Narcissa thwacks them both, they stop laughing but don’t stop looking amused.

“Sirius and I are placing bets on who’s going to be born first, your kid or Evans’.” Bellatrix starts spluttering.

“Well, what about you two?  You’re older than us!  It’s your last year of Hogwarts!”

“Yes but, we’re not in any rush to start a family,” Lucius tells her, taking Narcissa’s hand.  There’s some kind of air to them that makes Bellatrix think there’s more to it but decides to wait until Narcissa tells her herself.

“Well, there’s twice as much chance for Lily to have a baby first,” She points out, Severus blushing furiously, the other two chuckling at him, “So I doubt I’ll have a child before Harry is born.”

“Harry?” Severus asks in confusion, Bellatrix laughs.

“Years ago the Marauders and I were talking about their kids one day doing exactly as they were, walking through Hogwarts or something like that.  Sirius and Remus said that James and Lily would have a child, their first born would be Harry Potter and he would one day be famous.”  Severus suddenly looks rather sad.

“As adorable as that is, don’t bring that up to Lily,” Bellatrix frowns, “I um, Lily can’t have kids.”

“Oh no…” Severus shrugs.

“There are other ways to have children then the natural way but, it was only over the summer that she found out so…”

“Oh seeing Dora can’t have been easy for her,” Narcissa suddenly realises, Severus shakes his head.

“No but, she hasn’t told James yet so –”

“We’ll keep it quiet, but if there’s anything we can do –”

“Thank you, I’ll let her know.”

 

 

 

“Remus, there’s…some things we need to talk about…” Bellatrix tells him as they sit in the common room, a week after school starts.  Remus looks at her in confusion, she jerks her head in the direction of the boys’ dorm.  Remus puts his book down and gets up, following her.

“Were it anyone else, I’d assume they’re going to have quite a bit of fun,” Frank comments, the others laugh.

“I still can’t believe Hank and Scarlet are gone,” Peter says when no one chastises them.

“Why must you always do this?” James asks, Peter sighs.

 

“What’s up?” Bellatrix looks nervous as she sits on his bed.

“What happened with that boy you were seeing a while back?” Remus flinches slightly, he hesitates before he walks over and sits beside her.

“I uh…got myself into a stupid situation that I couldn’t really get myself out of and…Petunia got hurt.  It was only after that and the most mortifying moment of my life in Dumbledore’s office that I managed to actually admit what was happening.  He-He’s in prison now. Will be for another eight years.”  Bellatrix takes his hand.

“Remy, I’m sorry…”

“It’s not your fault Trixie, and in all honesty, despite what I feel sometimes, it wasn’t mine either.  He-He was a twat and I knew that going in but…I never thought he’d.” Remus stops talking, shutting his eyes briefly to take a breath and calm down.  He focuses back on Bellatrix who shifts nervously under his gaze.

“I need to tell you something.  I don’t really want to but, if it were you I know I’d want to know so it’s only fair I grant you that courtesy.  Um, under the curse I…” Remus takes one of her hands in his, she takes a breath and nods, “I needed a way to focus, to stay here enough to keep fighting.  It’s hard, that spell is…consuming.  I needed something that would break through and I found something but…look I just need you to know that I haven’t done it since the curse ended and I won’t.  It was just so that I wouldn’t lose myself not because of anything else,” She tells him.

“What happened Trixie?  I promise I won’t be mad and I would never hold it against you,” He promises, she nods. **WARNING.**

“I know,” She says, she pulls her hand out of his and pulls up her sleeves.  The cuts were never deep enough to scar, but a few are still healing over since she’s rubbish at healing spells.   **IT** **’** **S OVER.**

“Oh my love,” Remus says quietly, he pulls her into a tight hug, she cries a bit but not much, she has nothing to cry over anymore, she’s home.

“What I said, about not having kids with you, it was bullshit, you know that, right?” Remus grimaces a bit, “Oh Remy, it _was_.  I don’t plan to ever lose you again.  So one day, we’ll get married and we’ll have kids, and you will be a bloody fantastic father.”

“Bellatrix…it’s just…look I’ve never told anyone what happened before, I know Phia told James but, I never planned to tell anyone.  Still, I think you should know.”

“Know what?” Remus suddenly has tears streaming down his face.

“How my little brother died.”

“What happened?” Bellatrix asks after Remus is quiet for a few moments, Remus takes a deep breath.

“They knew enough about Werewolves to lock me in the cellar that first full moon after I got bit, but they couldn’t have predicted my strength.  I was four, how could they know I’d break down the door?” Bellatrix gasps as she sees where this is going, “I was, for all intents and purposes, a newborn.  I knew nothing about anything and then there was this high-pitched wailing and it frightened me so I…I made it stop.  Dad came in and…he panicked I suppose, that night I got my first scar.”

“Oh Remy, I’m so sorry,” Bellatrix tells him, Remus nods, looking at their clasped hands as more tears fall.

“I-I know it wasn’t my fault, that come morning none of them blamed me but…Dad hates Moony.  He hates him because he took both his sons, he doesn’t realise he’s hating me as well, that Moony _is_ me.  None of them know that I remember it, I didn’t until we started experimenting in first year.  Any time anyone’s told me I’m not a monster…that’s what I’ve thought of.  I ate my baby brother.  So, I tend to avoid babies and children, people in general.  At least I did, until I met all of you.  Still the thing with babies never really went away.  Dora…that’s the closest I’ve gotten to one and I could feel it inside me when it finally clicked for Moony, what he’d done all those years ago, and now it’s like I’m mourning him all over again because Moony is.” Bellatrix holds him close.

“I’m so sorry, to both of you, or rather, the whole of you.  You should never have had to go through that.  I wish I could make it better, but all I can do is point out that Moony knows better now.  He’d never hurt another child, you can be certain of that.”  Remus nods but doesn’t speak.

In the end they curl up together on the bed, both thinking about everything they’ve gone through and everything the other has gone through and both coming to the same sentence.

_Fuck you Universe._

 

It’s a few weeks later that James is at quidditch practice and Lily and Severus are in the dorm making out.

“Quidditch will finish and everyone will come back pretty soon you know,” Sev points out, Lily hums an acknowledgement while she starts unbuttoning his shirt, he shuts up and starts mouthing at her neck making her moan. She manages to pull his shirt off and moves to straddle him, his hand coming up to tangle in her hair when she freezes, “Lily?”  She grabs his wrist and pulls it down between them harshly.  He looks at it, eyes widening as he realises his mistake, “Oh fuck.”

“Sev…please tell me you didn’t.” Severus hesitates a moment too long, Lily gets up, re-buttoning her shirt, “YOU FUCKING BASTARD, HOW COULD YOU?!”

“LILY PLEASE, IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” He tells her desperately as he pulls his own shirt back on.

“IT’S PRETTY FUCKING HARD TO MISINTERPRET _THAT_!”  Severus winces.

“LILY LISTEN, PLEASE, I HAD NO CHOICE –”

“OH FUCKING BULLSHIT SEVERUS, THERE’S ALWAYS A CHOICE AND YOU CHOSE TO BETRAY EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR, TO BETRAY _ME_! HOW COULD YOU?!”

“It’s complicated…”

“COMPLICATED?!”

“IT IS!  Lily please, please, just let me explain!” Lily glares ferociously at him despite the tears falling rapidly from her eyes.

“Fine, talk.”  Severus hesitates, how could he explain without risking Lucius and Narcissa?  Would Voldemort consider the deal void if he told?  Would they all be killed and marked as traitors by both sides?  What if he knows about James and Lily and kills them for revenge? “Yeah, somehow I’m not surprised.”

“Lily –”

“No, go.  Leave.  Go back to your damned dungeon with all the other… Death Eaters.  Dammit, James and Sirius were right about you to begin with, you’re a coward and you’re just like all the rest of them.”

“Lily that’s not true!  I’m trying to protect you!”

“Protect me?  By joining _him_?!  He’ll kill me given half the chance!”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Are you really so arrogant to believe you could stop it?  We’re talking about _Lord fucking Voldemort_!  Though I suppose you’d call him the Dark Lord or my Lord or some worshipping rubbish.” Severus feels tears of his own falling.

“Lily, please.”

“Please what?  Be okay with this?  Don’t leave?  Don’t kick you out?  You joined a murderer Severus, one who wants to get rid of my people, and Remus’ entire species no doubt!  _How could you_?!”

“Dammit Lily!  Do you think I’d have done it if I didn’t think it was the right thing to do?  I made the best decision I could!  Why won’t you trust me?!”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE A FUCKING DEATH EATER, SEVERUS!”

“…Umm…” Both look over to the doorway and find most of the group piling in.

“You need to leave Snape,” Lily tells him, he turns back to her, opening his mouth to protest again, “Now.” He wipes at his face angrily.

“Fine then.”  He storms out, a whirlwind of guilt and sadness and anger.  How could she not even _try_ to understand?  How could she not trust his judgement?  How could she just leave him?  Had he lost her forever?  Had he lost them both?

 

“What the hell just happened?” Sirius demands as they all enter the room properly.

“He-he joined you-know-who.”

“Lily, Severus would never do that,” James tells her, she turns and glares at him.

“DO YOU THINK I’D BE SAYING THIS IF I WEREN’T SURE?!” He flinches back as she just collapses to the ground, crying, “I saw the mark on his arm, James…he-he, he said he was doing the right thing by joining him.” James goes to the ground and wraps her in a hug.

“There has to be more to it than that, there always is.”

“Like there was with Reg?” Sirius asks coldly, James frowns, Lily cries harder.

“What do we do?” Mary asks, tears in her eyes, Bellatrix fidgets awkwardly, “Bella? Please tell me you didn’t…”

“What?  No!” Mary lets out a breath of relief, “I just, they were going to make me before…the incident.  I panicked at the Potters when I realised I had left Lucius, Cissy, and Sev there when you-know-who was coming over to give Cissy and I the mark.  They said he never showed up…what if he did?”  They all exchange looks nervously, “Look, I’ll-I’ll talk to Narcissa, check her arm, find out.”

“If there isn’t, does that mean he did this of his own volition?”  Marlene asks looking scared and betrayed.

“Not necessarily, he-he said that-said that he’d ha-had no choice,” Lily tells them all, hoping what they’re all trying to believe is true.

“We need to lock him out of the attic,” Remus suddenly says, Lily goes to yell at him, aghast, but James pulls her tighter against him.

“He’s going into tactical mode, you know he doesn’t really mean it like that, he’s just trying to prevent worse from happening,” He reminds her gently, she nods as she backs down, Remus sighs.

“I’m being a dick again, aren’t I?” Sirius nods.

“Little bit, but continue.”

“There’s always a choice, but there are a billion different ways to make it seem otherwise.  We need to step up on the training again.  Severus and I have been restocking the attic since the battle and it’s nearly done, there’s a list in there of what still needs to be done and a few experimental things he wanted to try.  Lily, you’re our second best potions expert, I’m going to need your help to finish them.  Everyone else, we continue practicing duelling, we work on hand to hand as well.  I want all of you to be able to hold your own against me at the very least because he’s probably far better.  Most importantly, don’t give up on Severus.  When people start behaving out of character, there’s a damned good reason for it.”  They all nod, “But reason or no, he knows everything about us, if there’s even a chance he’ll give it away…”

“Guys, he knows everything about Moony,” Marlene tells them, Mary, Peter, James, Sirius, Lily, and Remus all freeze.

“We spent so long trying to discover weaknesses so that we could hide them from those people, and now they know.”

“No Peter, we don’t know that he’ll hand it over.”

“We can’t assume he won’t Lily, we have to act as though they now know everything about us.  For the most part that doesn’t matter, we’re a bunch of kids.  But kids or no I don’t think he’ll just ignore the arsenal we have in the castle considering we cost him thirty-six Death Eaters with it, nor is he likely to ignore a tamed Werewolf.”

“Hey!  I am not tamed!” Remus protests, Peter rolls his eyes.

“More likely to be docile enough for him to earn your trust then.”

“Except that I can remember bits of this form in that form now too,” Remus reminds him.

“But not everything.  Does Moony understand who you-know-who is?” Remus frowns and slumps with a sigh.

“I have no idea.”

“You know how this goes Remy, we can hope for the best, but in planning safety measures we must assume the worst.”

“Plus, if Regulus sees a chance to get his boss to take you or me out, he’ll take it,” Sirius points out with a resigned air, spending most of the summer at home had proven that much to him.

“So what do we do?” Alice asks, neither she nor Frank understanding what weaknesses to do with Moony they mean but everyone tends to get twitchy whenever that’s questioned so she doesn’t bother asking.

“Oh for all of fuckery fuck,” Remus mutters, the room turns to look at him, he sighs, “Look, I don’t know what to do.  We can’t do what we did to Reg because he’ll expect it.  I think…we just have to hope he’ll find his way back to us.”

Everyone looks to one another, feeling an altogether too familiar feeling.

They feel lost.


	34. Tempermental

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT, usual warning in chapter.

_Be careful_

_Don_ _’_ _t let them know_

_You_ must _be hidden to be safe_

_She_ _’_ _s sick_

_They_ _’_ _ll think you_ _’_ _re a monster_

_You kept me because you love me_

_GET AWAY FROM MY SON YOU MONSTER!_

_…_ _what have we done?_

The first full moon of the year is a tough one, Moony being impossible for anyone to calm down as he attacks himself despite his initial euphoria at his mate having returned to him.

Apart from some of the worst cycles he’s had since first year, their first term of sixth year goes relatively well.  Aside from Severus’ defection that is. It was quiet, there was no real uproar, except when they discovered Narcissa didn’t have the dark mark and made them believe Severus had done this on his own.  So aside from monthly mutilation and the betrayal of a close friend…okay, their first term is literal shit.

They end up on minus 150 points after a pretty spectacular argument between Remus, Binns, Avery, and McGonagall.  To everyone’s surprise, Avery was agreeing with Remus, but no one could really deny the stupidity of what they were looking at.  That was followed up by a rather spectacular prank in which any time anyone tried to speak, they’d sing instead.  It took a month for it to be reversed and only happened after Narcissa and Lucius got engaged in the middle of the Great Hall and Lucius proceeded to dob the four Marauders in as the culprits to make them lift the spell.  Then Sirius attempted to flirt with Dumbledore to get out of detention, and nearly succeeded, until McGonagall showed up and took twenty-five points from both of them.  That began a war in which teachers were taking points from each other and only ended when Narcissa, as Slytherin’s prefect, said they were all behaving like teenagers and took ten points off of all of them.  All the teachers were eager to have their houses earn the points back, but all except Hufflepuff ended up in the negatives.  None are as far behind as Gryffindor, all of them decided to blame that on Remus and Binns and so decided to teach Remus how to react when annoyed by annoying the crap out of him and having points taken every time he snaps at someone.

None were expecting him to go into a total zen mode and remain calm about everything causing the others to get annoyed and lose points themselves.

 

By the time holidays comes around, all of the school is annoyed at Remus for one thing or another.  He practically prances off the train as he goes over to the group’s parents.

“Hello, have a good few months?” Remus asks them all, they notice the glares he’s getting from everyone around him and seem amused.

“Rem, what did you do?” He shrugs.

“I did nothing, I even remained calm.”

“Arsehole,” James mutters, Del looks at him unhappily, “Well he is!”

“There is no need to be so rude.”

“You are _such_ a damned Hufflepuff.”

“This is why we’re the only house without house points in the negatives.”

“You-what?” Harlene asks in surprise, Sirius laughs.

“It was the most glorious thing I’ve ever accidentally set off.”

“All hail Narc though,” Remus comments, Narcissa rolls her eyes at the name but doesn’t object, she’s used to it by now.

“Come on Bella, Sirius, we should go meet Aunt Walburga.”

“Don’t forget Christmas, Dear,” Euphemia reminds her, she and Lucius had been surprised to get the invitation to attend their Christmas lunch but had happily accepted.

Severus walks over to the group, none missing that he’d been with Regulus beforehand.  The group goes awkwardly silent as he gets there, James taking Lily’s hand in support.

“Well, we should all probably be going, right?” Peter asks, his parents nod.

“Yes, of course.  We’ll see you all at Christmas.”  They leave, the Black’s also going, Lucius nods at Severus and at Remus before he too leaves.

“It’s good to see you Sev,” Remus tells him honestly before the Lupin’s leave too.

“If things get bad, Lily, take Petunia and go to Remus’,” James whispers to her as he hugs her, she nods as they separate, “It’ll be Christmas before you know it.” The Potters leave followed by everyone else but the Evans family.

“Is everything all right?” Kyle asks his youngest daughter and the boy he thinks of as a Son.  He and Laura had talked about legally adopting Severus, but things had taken a romantic turn between Severus and Lily and they hadn’t wanted to interfere with that.

“Of course Dad, let’s just go home,” Lily requests, Kyle and Laura exchange looks but agree.

The five of them leave the station and get into the car, Lily sitting in the middle in the back seat between Severus and Petunia.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Lily says quietly to Severus after a few minutes, with the music playing only Severus heard her.

“Lucius invited me to stay with him but, with you or not, they’re my family too.  Where else would I go?”

“Your family yet you’d join someone who would happily kill or enslave them?”

“I don’t want to have this argument all holidays Lily,” Severus tells her, speaking louder than they had been before so that now all occupants of the car can hear them.

“Then maybe you should have accepted the invitation and stayed with Malfoy,” Lily replies, Petunia and Laura exchanging surprised looks, Kyle just as surprised but keeping his eyes on the road as he drives.

“You want to kick me out of my home here too?  You already banished me from Gryffindor tower, where I have lived for _five years_.”

“Me?  You’re the one who ruined things Sev, not me.  Perhaps you should have thought of that first.”

“All right you two!  That’s enough.  No one is getting kicked out of anywhere,” Laura tells them both sternly as they pull into the driveway, Lily gets out as soon as Petunia has moved.

“I’m going to Remy’s,” Lily declares before walking off down the driveway.

 

There’s a full moon two days before Christmas, after the usual screaming of the transformation, Moony blinks and looks around the place.  He’d hurt the Cub in this place.  Moony sinks into a corner of the room, as far from the door as he can manage, and whimpers.

It’s not long before his thoughts spiral and he’s punishing himself, attacking himself, thrashing about and howling his grief.

 

Remus is fairly quiet and non-moving at Christmas, then Andromeda arrives with Ted and Dora.

“Remus. Bloody. Lupin.  You and I need to have a conversation.” Remus raises his head from his hand enough to look at her questioningly, she turns Dora around to look at him.

“Re-Re!” Remus gives the child a tired smile, hauling himself up and walking over to kneel in front of the small child who is now sitting at her mother’s feet.  The girl gets Remus’ help to pull herself up and then collapses against him, holding on like she’s wants to be picked up.  He summons his Werewolf strength, even though it hurts a lot, and lifts the child up.

“Hi Dora.”

“Why is it my child will say your name but not Mama or Dada?”

“Because your child is following in the footsteps of her Mother by betraying people’s expectations and making her own way in life as a strong and independent woman,” Remus replies as he makes faces at the young girl who giggles at him.

“Mother always _did_ say you were a charmer,” Andromeda tells him, he winks at her, she ruffles his hair before moving in and greeting people.  Remus returns to his chair, Dora still in his arms.

A few minutes later Andromeda looks over to see both teenager and toddler asleep.

 

 

It’s third term, Lily’s beginning to believe that save for first term, Severus may have been wrong, maybe they _would_ have a quiet year.  Then Sirius comes sprinting into the common room.

“Lily, oh fuck I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, it was stupid, he’ll never forgive me, they could of died, _or worse_ I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt it was just a joke and now I’m going to be expelled, Remus is gonna go to Azkaban and James is going to hate me and I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” He tells her, tears streaming down his face as he paces and looks completely mad.

“Sirius, stop!  What is happening, what did you do?” Lily asks in alarm, the entire group now watching the scene warily, Sirius just looks at her like he wishes he were dead.

“They’re in the hospital wing, all alive and-and human…with the one obvious exception but…”

“But?” Mary asks him, Sirius starts hyperventilating as he backs up slightly before shaking his head and looking back to them.

“I tricked Severus, sent him to Moony last night.” The full magnitude of his words takes a second and then hits Lily like a ton of bricks, she turns and sprints out of the common room, the group running after her.

 

“James!” Lily calls as she runs into the hospital wing, only to find him in a hospital bed without a shirt on, bandages across his chest, as he watches the next bed silently.  He barely reacts to her calling his name, when he does look round, he sees Sirius and glares.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

“Prongs, I…”

“Don’t Sirius.  Whatever you have to say I don’t care to hear it.”

“Where’s Severus?” Lily asks as everyone makes themselves comfortable around the room, pulling over chairs and even a hospital bed so that everyone can sit in the immediate area.

“He was threatening to tell everyone about Moony if Sirius, Remus, and I aren’t expelled.  He’s been in with Dumbledore for the last ten minutes,” James tells them, gesturing to Pomfrey’s office, Sirius gets up and leaves without a word.

“Does he know what happened?” Marlene asks, James shrugs before wincing at the movement.

“I don’t know.”

“Where’s Peter?”

“Dealing with McGonagall.”

“What the hell happened, seriously, Sirius was talking a mile a minute and all I really got was that a bunch of people nearly died, something about Remy in Azkaban and Severus seeing Moony.” James sighs, looking exhausted.

“Sirius came looking for me, said he’d told Severus how to get to Moony.  I think he must have tricked him somehow because Severus knows Moony isn’t exactly safe at the moment.  Moony attacked, I had just gotten in to stop Severus, I pulled him back behind me but Moony’s claws got me, obviously.  Anyways, no one got bit or died so…there’s that I guess.”

“Sirius loves Remus, why would he do this?”

“Same reason you once said he’s just like every other Black.   Same reason Severus tried to kill everyone.  Same reason Phia left Remy to come here alone.  Same reason Reg abandoned us.  Anger.  We all do stupid things when we’re angry.” Lily scoffs.

“’Anger only excuses so much,’ isn’t that our saying?”

“Yeah our other saying is ‘always waiting’, remember?”

“Remus has been through so much horror in his life, surely he’ll forgive Sirius this?” Mary looks to Marlene in surprise.

“You think he should?  After what he did?”

“He’s Remy.”

“I honestly can’t tell if that’s an affirmation or not,” Peter says as he walks into the room, the group turns to look at him.

“Do you think he will though?” Frank asks, Peter tended to understand Remus more than any of them, Peter sighs as he sits on the edge of Remus’ bed.

“Marls isn’t wrong, he’s been through a lot of horror, but I think that this may be one horror too many.  I mean really, how much can one person take before they just accept that everyone will turn on them?  We’ve nearly lost him to that before, but now it’s…it’s Sirius, of all people.  His safety zone.  The one to always bring him out of his panic, just one horror too many.”

The door to Pomfrey’s office opens, Dumbledore and Severus walking out.

“You going to live?” Severus asks James who nods, Severus gives a short nod back and then leaves.

“How did we end up here?” Alice asks when he’s left, Frank wraps an arm around her, pressing a kiss to her head.

“I don’t know, but we’ll muddle through, together.” Alice nods.

“Together.”

 

Sirius comes back with Bellatrix and Lucius a few minutes after Pomfrey pronounces James fit to leave, not that any of them do, a black eye on Sirius’ face that none of them feel the need to question.

“You all right James?” Lucius asks as Bellatrix goes immediately to Remus’ side, though she does turn to look at James and hear the answer.

“Yes, thank you.”

“What did he say?” Lucius asks Sirius, Sirius seems confused by the question, “Remy always says that when someone does something completely out of character, there’s a damned good reason for it.  Sadly, this isn’t completely out of character, except that I really thought the equator would freeze over before you’d betray Remy likes this.  So, what did Severus say?” Sirius looks down at his feet, shuffling slightly.

“Does it matter? The end result is the same.” Lucius looks around the room and sees everyone pretty much in agreement, he rolls his eyes.

“You just put two very good friends of mine at immense risk, I want to know why.  And after what you just pulled, you don’t get to tell me no.” The other boy sighs.

“It’s stupid.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Sirius glares at Lucius who raises an eyebrow at him.

“Ironically we were arguing about betraying your friends and stuff.  Severus said we had no right to assume he had turned on us, dark mark or no.  None of us had even tried to hear him out.  Said he isn’t Regulus and we should’ve given him a chance. I said fine, I’ll get them to hear you out, and told him how to get to where Moony was.  He’s never been there before, he didn’t know what would be at the other end.”

“You what?” A voice croaked, everyone looked over to see Remus awake, Sirius’ eyes widen.

“Remy, I…” Remus shuts his eyes against the tears filling them, he’s just turned seventeen dammit!  He will not cry!

“I did that?” Remus asks, looking at James who falters.

“No Remus, it was my fault,” Sirius tells him, Remus looks at him sharply.

“Leave.”

“Rem–”

“NO, LEAVE DAMMIT, GET OUT, ALL OF YOU!” Remus shouts, none of them have ever seen him so angry, except possibly after finding out Regulus had become a Death Eater, though he seemed even angrier than then.

“Remus!  It wasn’t their faults, they had nothing to do with it!” Sirius tells him, Remus glares, shaking with anger.

“Regulus, Severus, now you.  If you think I’m just going to wait around for the next person to use this against me, you’re wrong.  Everyone, get. Out. I’m done with all of you.”

“One horror too many,” James says quietly as they all leave.

“I hope you realise I’m going nowhere,” Bellatrix tells him, Remy takes her hand and nods, “Good.”

 

“Lucius!” Remus calls as he jogs down the hall to catch up with the boy, three days after ‘The Snape Incident’.

“Remy, hi,” Lucius replies with a surprised but happy and, as usual, elegant smile.

“Hey, um, listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about what I said before.  You had nothing to do with what happened, I’m sorry.” Lucius shakes his head.

“Don’t worry about it, if what Black pulled on you had happened to me I probably would have done a lot worse than shout at my friends.”  Remus smiles at him and nods.

“Thanks.”

“Hey, while I’ve got you here.  Pat’s having trouble with Arithmancy and I cannot for the life of me work out where he’s going wrong, can you take a look?” Pat Parkinson looks extremely nervous about Lucius asking Remus for help with his work but says nothing as Remus nods.

“Of course.” Lucius hands the work over, Remus reads through it quickly, “You’ve gotten the significance of seven and thirteen the wrong way around.  It’s a similar background so a lot of people do it, but when it comes to predicting a more specific future, it makes all the difference.  See the seven is just a sign of bad luck, but thirteen is a sign of bad luck that’s been purposely caused.  Usually by a jinx, hex, or curse, but it has been known to be completely non-magical and just someone interfering,” Remus explains, Pat looks over the work.

“Oh, I see. So where I’ve assumed someone’s got it out for him, it’s actually just a bunch of bad shit happening to him?” Remus nods and chuckles.

“Exactly.”

“Huh, Tom Riddle really can’t catch a break,” Pat says, tilting his head as he looks over his work again, “Uh, thanks Lupin, I guess.”

“You’re welcome Parkinson.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know anything about Animagi, would you?  I’ve got my Transfiguration NEWT tomorrow and I cannot remember a thing about how someone becomes an Animagus,” Evan Rosier asks, desperate enough at this point to risk his life.  Remus hides his smile at the question and instead just nods.

That’s how Remus found himself tutoring most of Slytherin house.

 

“Hey, Lupin!” Paul Goyle calls from Slytherin table as Remus walks in the Great Hall, Remus turns and walks over to him when beckoned, “Noticed you and the others are on the outs at the moment, want to sit with us?” It’s been two weeks since the incident, and while Remus has apologised to his friends, except Sirius obviously, for snapping at them, he still hasn’t stopped avoiding them.

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Splendid, Oi, Knott, budge up.”

 

A few minutes later Bellatrix, Narcissa, and Lucius walk in, Bellatrix about to go to Gryffindor table when Narcissa grabs her arm and points to where Remus is sitting and laughing with their peers.

“How did a few tutoring favours turn into this?” Bellatrix asks Lucius who shrugs.

“It’s Remy, he attracts weird types.”

“Oh the truth in that statement,” Narcissa says, Bellatrix elbows her at the obvious insult.  The three head over to Slytherin table, Bellatrix smiling and waving at her friends on in Gryffindor on the way and getting concerned and confused looks back, she shrugs at them.

“Remy, I must say I never thought I’d see you here for non-nefarious reasons,” Narcissa tells him as they sit down.

“Nice to see you too, Narc.”

 

A few days later, James and Lily walk into the library, or, to be more specific, Lily walks into the library and James trails behind her while complaining.  They find Remus with an amused looking Lucius and a serious looking Patrick Parkinson, Paul Goyle, and Raymond Zabini.  Lucius spots them and excuses himself, the four waving him off but otherwise ignoring him, he goes over to the two of them, chuckling when he reaches them.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Lily asks him, he chuckles again.

“They’re trying to convince Remy blood purity is right and just.  Also that a bunch of bullshit pure-blood society eccentricities are fair and legitimate.  It’s not going well,” He explains, wiping his eyes slightly.

“Of all the people to attempt to convince, they pick Remus bloody Lupin?” James asks, Lucius shrugs.

“How’s he doing?” Lily asks him, Lucius sighs.

“Well, he managed to say Black’s name without looking like a kicked puppy so…better?” James and Lily look worriedly at each other.

“And Severus?”

“He’s still in a foul mood but he punched Regulus the other day for saying something about mud…le-borns.”

“Muddleborns?” Lily asks looking both amused and unimpressed.

“What?  That’s totally a thing people say.”

“Uh-huh, totally,” She says with a roll of her eyes.

“Sorry, anyway, I don’t know if that constitutes things getting better with him or worse.  He’s asking your parents if he can stay at my manor over the summer, said something about home being awkward and hellish at the moment?”

“Yeah that about sums it up.”

“Guys, why does Remy have his thoughtful and considering look on his face?” James asks worriedly, the other two look over and see he seems to actually be considering whatever is being said.

“Oh my god, are they actually _succeeding_?” Lily asks, Lucius looks at the table in confusion.

“I think I’d better go back over there.” The other two nod so he says good bye and walks over.

“You have a point about the inbreeding, but magic can fix most disabilities and abnormalities in utero, we know that for certain, so there isn’t actually much of a risk of deformity for the children,” Raymond Zabini tells him, Remus leans back in his chair.

“Huh.” Lucius takes a seat, content to listen and try to catch up for a while before interrupting, “There’s still no proof the magic will lessen.”

“There’s no proof it won’t.”

“Name the six most powerful wizards and witches you can think of,” Remus tells him.

“Salazar Slytherin, The Dark Lord, Merlin, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall,…probably you,” Paul says, the other two nod, Lucius agreeing as well.

“McGonagall, Dumbledore, and I are all half-bloods.  We’ve no proof Merlin and the Dark Lord aren’t,” Remus tells them, blushing a bit at being included on the list.

“Minerva McGonagall is a half-blood?” Pat asks, Remus nods, “Huh.”

“Okay but, Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff, Godric Gryffindor, Gellert Grindelwald, Salazar Slytherin, all of them are recognised as some of the most powerful wizards of all time.  Think of how impossible it was to stop Grindelwald, all of them were purebloods.”

“And a half-blood stopped Grindelwald.”

“Merlin’s beard, did Remy Lupin just say something _nice_ about Albus Dumbledore?” Lucius asks in fake shock, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Just because I hate the man doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge that in his youth he managed to do something right.”

“You don’t like Dumbledore?” Raymond asks, surprised, Remus raises an eyebrow at him.

“You _do_?”

“Well no, I just assumed every Gryffindor was as Dumbledore loving as the others.”

“You’d be surprised how many people think little of Dumbledore.  Though, admittedly, my opinion of the man tends to be more negative than most.  Hardly my fault he’s a manipulative git who is simply _too_ fun to mess with.”

“Ah, yes, Bella told me about your first introduction to her parents,” Lucius tells him, Remus chuckles at the memory.

“Horrible people, good times though.”

“What happened?” Paul asks, Remus sighs.

“Dumbledick was trying to break Trixie and I up, I refused to give in.  He brought her parents in and planned it so that I would enter his office while they were here, introduced me as the half-blood their daughter is taken with.  By the end of it the three of us were just purposely pissing our illustrious Headmaster off, it was pretty glorious.”

 

 

A month later Remus enters the Gryffindor common room, ignoring the room and heading straight for his dormitory.

“Okay, no, I’ve been patient, I’ve had enough,” Sirius declares, heading up after Remus, the rest of the group sighs.

“Someone alert Pomfrey?” James suggests.

 

“You can’t ignore us forever you know.” Remus ignores him, “Yes, I know you’re pissed, I know I deserve it.  Yell at me, curse me, anything, just _stop_ ignoring me.” Remus continues ignoring him as he finally finds the book he was looking for, he tries to leave but Sirius grabs his arm, Remus stops and looks down at the hand.

“Let. Go.”

“Not until you talk to me!”

“You want me to talk to you?  Fine, I don’t care that you used my biggest fear against Severus and me.  We both know I understand anger, I could forgive that.  In fact, I have, I don’t care anymore Sirius.”

“THEN WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!”

“MY PROBLEM?  MY PROBLEM, YOU GIANT BACK OF FLACCID DICKS, IS THAT YOU NEARLY GOT SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT KILLED!  MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU NEARLY SUCCEEDED!  MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU TRIED TO USE ME TO DO IT! MY PROBLEM…my problem is that you’d have made me a murderer.” Sirius looks at Remus, rather horrified, he hadn’t considered that, “I’ve managed that on my own, and I swore it would never happen again, and thanks to you it almost did.  _That_ is my problem.  Not that you did it, but that it would have worked.  My problem is that time and time again you’ve tried to convince me I’m not a monster, and time and time again it’s proven that that _isn_ _’_ _t fucking true_.  I can’t do it anymore Sirius, I can’t act like I’m some caring and harmless little human.  I’m not, I’m a predator, a lycanthrope, and I’m sick of putting in so much damned effort to protect humans, a species that doesn’t care about its own people and will constantly throw every bit of good I’ve tried to do back in my face the moment it’s suits them.  It’s disgusting, and I am _done_ protecting you, all of you, your entire damned species.  I’m not one of you and for once in my life I’m fucking glad about that.  Maybe you are right after all, maybe I’m not the monster, maybe that’s all of you.”  With that he storms out, leaving Sirius gaping at the spot where he’d stood.

“Oops.”

 

“Lucius, have you seen Remy?” Tom asks, grabbing his arm as he walks by, a frantic James beside him.  Lucius shakes off the hand as he shakes his head.

“No, why?”

“He and Sirius had an argument, Remus called him a giant bag of flaccid dicks and…said a few other rather worrying things and now we’re worried he’s about to do something stupid.” Lucius raises an eyebrow at James, crossing his arms and looking at him expectantly.

“So, Black pissed him off and he stormed away, now you want me to help you find him?  He clearly doesn’t want to see any of you or he wouldn’t have left.”

“Okay, when I say do something stupid, I mean homicidally stupid, and I’m not exaggerating.”  Lucius sighs.

“Get Black to check the Astronomy tower, he gets one last chance to fix this or he leaves Remy the hell alone until Remy decides otherwise, and I will make sure he sticks to that, am I understood?” James nods.

“Thank you, Lucius.” Lucius nods before he continues walking, now looking for Bellatrix.

 

**WARNING**

Sirius skips a bunch of stairs as he runs up to the astronomy tower as fast as he can, which, given that he’d run the length of most of the castle now, wasn’t particularly fast.  He finds Remus standing on the wrong side of the railing, but the slump in his shoulders he recognises, it isn’t Remus, it’s Moony.

“Moony?” Moony turns to look at him, heart break on his face.  _He knows what I_ _’_ _ve done, I put that look on his face._

“Siri bad.  Y-You hurt me, why?” Sirius can’t help but be proud of how far Moony had come with his speech, though that’s hardly what he’s focused on at the moment.

“I know I did, I’m sorry.”

“No!” He looks to the ground far below him causing Sirius to really begin to panic.

“Moony, Moony just step back from the edge!” Sirius pleads, tears streaming down his face as he looks from Moony to the astronomy tower railing that he’s on the _other_ side of.

“I TRUSTED YOU!  AND YOU BETRAYED ME!”

“I know, I know, and I fucked up, _so_ badly, I’m sorry Moons, I’m so sorry.” Moony looks at him, heartbroken.

“I don’t believe you.” With that he let’s go of the railing, and steps off the edge.

“NO!” Sirius screams, jumping over the edge as well to grab his friend, holding onto the edge at the same time and crying out at the pain of what he’s pretty sure is his shoulder dislocating.   **IT** **’** **S OVER.**

“Ah! S-Sirius?  WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!” Sirius lets out a breath of relief despite his pounding heart, adrenaline pumping through him, and extreme pain he feels radiating through his body.

“REMUS, REMUS YOU FLEW ONCE, _PLEASE_ TELL ME YOU REMEMBER HOW TO DO IT!” Sirius looks down at him and sees his terrified face along with the drop below, he looks back up.

“I…I DON’T KNOW!” Sirius feels his grip slipping, they jolt a bit.

“FUCK!  REMUS I CAN’T HOLD ON FOREVER!”

“SIRIUS, IF WE’RE ABOUT TO DIE THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I’M STILL FUCKING PISSED AT YOU –”

“I JUST JUMPED OFF A TOWER TO SAVE _YOUR_ LIFE.”

“CONSIDERING EVERYTHING I THINK THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SHUT UP AND LISTEN!”  Sirius shuts up, closing his eyes and clenching his teeth as he struggles to hold on, “I’M PISSED AT YOU, FOR ALL THE REASONS I SAID, BUT THERE’S ONE I DIDN’T MENTION.” Sirius looks down at him, worse position for holding on or no, he had to see him, “YOU TALKED ME DOWN FROM EVERY PANIC ATTACK. YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON MOONY ACCEPTED AS HIS PACK, HE MAY HAVE REALISED TRIXIE IS HIS MATE, BUT YOU WERE HIS FIRST TRUE PACK MEMBER.  YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME, YOU’RE MY SAFETY NET, THE ONE PERSON I TRUST ABOVE ALL ELSE.  MY FATHER LEFT US AFTER I GOT BIT, MY MOTHER WAS TERRIFIED, AND MY SISTER RESENTED EVERYTHING.  YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON TO THINK IT WAS COOL. YOU’RE THE ONE I LOOK TO FOR HELP AND SUPPORT, WHEN I’M SCARED OR FEEL ALONE OR WHEN I’M JUST REALLY BORED.  OF EVERYONE, YOU WERE THE ONE I THOUGHT WOULD HAVE MY BACK.  I CALL PETER MY BEST FRIEND, AND HE IS, BUT OF EVERYONE, YOU’RE…YOU’RE MY BEST FAMILY.  I HAVE MY DOUBTS ABOUT EVERYONE STANDING BY ME, BUT YOU I NEVER QUESTIONED. I never questioned…” He tells him strongly.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius tells him, and it’s more true than it ever has been, “REMUS I’M SORRY.  I HAVE NO DEFENCE FOR WHAT I DID AND BELIEVE ME I HATE MYSELF FOR IT.  YOU ARE ALL OF THAT TO ME AND THE FIRST PERSON TO REALLY MAKE ME BELIEVE I’M DIFFERENT FROM WHAT EVERYONE EXPECTS FROM A BLACK.  THE ONLY ONE TO MAKE ME REALISE BELLA AND NARCISSA MIGHT BE DIFFERENT TOO.  YOU GAVE ME MY FAMILY BACK REMUS AND I THREW ALL OF THAT IN YOUR FACE.  I STABBED YOU IN THE BACK AND I AM SO FUCKING SORRY.  I…I LOVE YOU.  I LOVE YOU AND I NEARLY ENDED YOUR LIFE IN WAY MORE WAYS THAN ONE. I-I…MERLIN, I’M JUST SORRY!” Remus smiles up at him sadly, tears in his eyes but he looks relatively content.

“I forgive you.” Sirius blinks at him through his own tears.

“You do?” Remus smiles wider.

“Always waiting, right?” Sirius’ grip slips again, suddenly a few fingers being all that’s left between the two boys and certain death.

“WELL, IF WE’RE GOING TO DIE, THERE’S NO ONE I’D RATHER DIE WITH THAN YOU!” Remus frowns.

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE TODAY PADFOOT!  I REFUSE TO.” Sirius looks up again, needing to to hold on.

“THEN I HOPE YOU HAVE A PLAN!”  Remus looks around desperately, he has a plan but he can’t execute it like this, he needs a wand.

“JUST HOLD ON!”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I’M DOING?!” Remus grits his teeth against the strain on his arm and reaches into his pocket with the other one, pulling out his cinnamon stick.  He looks at it in his hand before closing his eyes and focusing on it.

“Come on, come on,” He whispers, “I know what transformation feels like, I know how it works, I need this to work.”  He feels power going through his arm and into the wand, and it is a wand, he _knows_ it is, he just needs to remind it of that.  He feels it lengthen in his hand, the texture changing, it’s presence altering and when he opens his eyes, he sees his wand. “WOOHOO, YES!”

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CELEBRATING?!” Sirius screams incredulously, Remus laughs as he focuses the spell, using his wand for the first time in years.  Suddenly the two are being flung upwards, “AHHH!”, Remus grabs the railing as they go up and pulls them round to the other side as he cancels the spell making them drop to the ground, panting. Remus looks to his wand in his hand and sees it spark, cracks forming all along it before it disintegrates into splinters, he sighs, chucking it all to the ground.

“Was that what I think it was?” Sirius asks, still panting, as he looks to the pile, Remus grimaces and nods, “I don’t suppose a simple repairo would work on that?”

“No, I uh, I doubt it.”

“What did you _do_?”

“Remember that time we altered gravity?” Sirius nods, Remus flings his hand out to the side, “I altered gravity.”

“Out here?”

“In a localised fashion, I needed to be able to channel it specifically, that’s why I needed the wand.” Sirius chuckles.

“You just fucking altered gravity.” Remus chuckles, then they’re both laughing hysterically.

“Is everyone okay?!  We heard screaming!” Remus and Sirius look over to see Pomona Sprout and Horace Slughorn, both boys just laugh again.

“Ow, ow, fuck,” Sirius says, gritting his teeth and grabbing his arm after rolling onto his shoulder.

 

“So, you completely dislocate your shoulder, sprain both wrists, and have multiple grazes on your hands, knees, and elbows. And you, sprain one wrist and the same arm’s shoulder, have destroyed your wand, and also have multiple grazes, all from walking into a door?” McGonagall asks, Remus and Sirius are sat on a bed in the hospital wing, James and Peter standing at the door and snickering at them, Sirius smiles innocently.

“That’s exactly right, Professor.”

“One of these days, you’re going to get yourselves killed.” Remus smiles and shrugs.

“We might get close, but the way I see it, no way is one of us going to let the other die,” Remus tells her, “So long as we all stick together, we’ll be fine,” He continues, nodding at James and Peter before turning and smiling at Sirius.

“Marauders first, right lads?” James asks, the four smile at each other and nod.

“You four will be the death of me, honestly.”

“You love us Minnie, really,” Sirius tells her, she shakes her head, muttering as she walks out of the room.

“Ten points to Gryffindor for managing to save each other from whatever it is that _actually_ happened.” The four boys grin at each other.

As Remus and Sirius get up, Sirius putting his shirt back on now that his shoulder has been healed, James scratches the back of his head.

“You know, the others and I, we really thought this might have been one horror too many, ya know?” Remus looks between the other three boys and can see on their faces that they all thought so.  Remus chuckles, throwing an arm around Sirius and then James, Sirius throwing one around Peter’s shoulders as well as they leave the hospital wing.

“A lot of shit is unpredictable in this life Mates, but if there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s this.  There’s no such thing as one horror too many when it comes to the people you love,” He tells them, then he grins, “Besides, always waiting, right lads?” The other three laugh, Sirius nods.

“Always waiting.”

 

 

“Are we going to talk about the fact that Moony is apparently suicidal?” Sirius asks Remus in concern, “Or about the fact he was somehow the forefront of your mind in the middle of the day?  No moon in sight?” Remus sighs, burying his face in his hands.

“I don’t know Sirius, I don’t remember what happened.”

“Well what _do_ you remember?”

“I remember our argument, and I remember storming out, and then suddenly I’m dangling off the astronomy tower!” Sirius groans, flopping back onto Remus’ bed.

“I’m just concerned, you’ve said before that sometimes when Moony’s feelings are different from your own they leak through and affect your own actions.  What if this does too?” Remus rubs at the bridge of his nose.

“It is Sirius.  It has been since the accident.  Apart from my drinking increasing again, nothing’s happened.  Not until Moony was running the show.”

“And we still don’t know how that happened!”

“I know, I know.  Do you think we should tell the others?” Remus asks, then the door opens.

“Tell us what?” James asks, coming in with his quidditch gear, clearly having just got back from practice.  Sirius looks to Remus who shrugs.

“Remus faded.”

“What?!  Why did he faint?” James asks, dropping his stuff and rushing over, putting a hand to Remus’ forehead to check his temperature.  Remus rolls his eyes and pushes his hand away.

“ _Faded_ not fainted.”

“Faded?  As in the way Moony does when he says goodbye?” Remus nods, “Why?”

“Well I didn’t do it on purpose.  I don’t even know _how_.  It’s sort of an in-between phase of Moony and I where we are completely separated, I’ve never done it before.” James frowns, thinking, then he claps his hands together, rubbing them against each other.

“Well then boys, I think we’ve found a new phenomenon to research for the book.  Wait, no one noticed, did they?” Remus shook his head, James nods, “Good, come on, let’s stop Wormy from snogging Mary and go plan an epic prank to end the year!”  As the three start leaving the room, Remus grabs Sirius’ arm.

“Pads, what you said… _before_ , I just wanted to say, I know you love me, I love you too Mate.” Sirius smiles at him and claps him on the shoulder before they both leave, Remus loudly questioning when the hell Peter and Mary got together as they go.

Sirius thinks he’s getting pretty good at holding back tears.

 

 

“Sirius, we’ve let you get away with a lot, but you’re seventeen now.  It’s time for you to take your place as the Black heir, and take the Dark Mark.” Sirius looks between his parents and his little brother, honestly believing they are joking.

“You’re serious?” Sirius thinks Regulus is going to make a pun for a moment, that is until he looks at his parents out of the corner of his eyes and immediately does his best to be invisible.  Regulus never speaks when their parents are in the room, never.  They don’t tend to acknowledge him either, won’t even look at him.  Sirius wonders what it has to do with Jonathan Cleary, he’s pretty sure he’s got bigger things to worry about right now though.

“Very, you’ve let us down long enough.” Sirius rolls his eyes, chuckling without humour.

“You’re an idiot Orion Black.  I will _never_ be the heir you want.  I will never be the Son you want, and I would rather _die_ a most horrible and painful death than join that fucking psychopath you bow down to like a fucking _peasant_.” Orion’s face darkens.

“Have it your way then, Regulus, do it.” Sirius looks to Reg in panic, months of not acknowledging him, something is very wrong.  Regulus looks from their father to his brother, wand in his hand, “If you want us to forget, if you want to retake your place as a Black and become the heir, then _do it_.” Regulus looks at his brother, heart break on his face, he opens his mouth to say something Sirius thinks will be a refusal, so he beats him to it.

“Do it Reg, whatever they want.  I forgive you, always waiting, right Little Marauder?” Regulus smiles, just slightly, but it’s more than Sirius has seen in over a year.

“ _Crucio_.”

Sirius isn’t sure how long it lasts, he screams and screams and doesn’t black out until the spell has finished.

When he comes to, he’s laying in a comfy bed.  Sirius opens his eyes and sees James, Remus, Peter, Euphemia, and Andromeda sitting by his bedside.  It’s only after seeing his cousin that he notices Remus has a sleeping two-year-old on his lap.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” James says when he notices Sirius is awake, the noise grates on his over sensitive eardrums, but Sirius smiles anyway.

“I wouldn’t suggest talking at the moment Sirius, but don’t worry.  You’re safe now.” Sirius frowns at Euphemia.

“Reg,” He croaks out, Euphemia smiles a sad smile as Remus grabs a piece of paper from his bedside table and hands it to him.

“You showed up with this.”

_Siri,_

_You lot say when someone does something totally out of character there_ _’_ _s a reason for it, well here_ _’_ _s mine.  Bella isn_ _’_ _t the only one who_ _’_ _s been imperio_ _’_ _d, only they let me go after making me act.  I killed Jonathan, apparently their last hope for an heir isn_ _’_ _t allowed to be gay, guess I missed that memo._

_You once said that to love someone is to care about them more than anyone else, at the time I didn_ _’_ _t understand if you meant more than anyone else cares for them or more than you care for anyone else, but now I know it_ _’_ _s both.  I also know that I love you too, so for once, let me protect you.  I know we say always waiting, but don_ _’_ _t waste time waiting for me, not this time.  You and the others need to fight him Sirius, even if you_ _’_ _re scared.  I_ _’_ _ve met him, he must be stopped._

_I promise, I_ _’_ _ll keep fighting too.  Can_ _’_ _t let you, James, Peter, and Remy fight alone, Marauders first, right?_

_Little Marauder_

Sirius lays back in the bed, staring at the ceiling.  He hates this war, and his family, and most everything.  But not his brother, he could never hate his brother, and he can’t believe he ever thought he could.  Regulus is right after all, Marauders first.  Little Marauder included, always.

 _I_ _’_ _ll never stop waiting for you_.


	35. Last Chance

Chapter 35

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Alice Prewett, Sirius and Bellatrix Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Lily Evans, Mary MacDonald, and Marlene McKinnon stand side by side, looking at the Hogwarts Express.  The moment they step onto that train, their final year at Hogwarts commences.  Frank, Narcissa, and Lucius stand off to the side, looking amused.  They’d finished last year but had come to see the others off.

“Do you want one of us to say a few words?” Monty asks them, chuckles go through the group before James nods.

“Sure, why not.” The adults and siblings look around, a moment later Lyall clears his throat.

“It’s always a long road to get through school, but for you nine it’s been even more so.  For every year you’ve had a challenge or twelve to face, each more dangerous and troublesome than the last.  Yet here you stand, stronger and prouder than ever.  Every one of us here with you is so very proud of the people you have become, and we will be just as proud of whoever you grow to be.  We miss you every year, but we know that you are where you are meant to be.  A year from now you’ll be done with Hogwarts, no doubt putting yourselves in unnecessary danger knowing you lot, and you’ll look back on these years with a sort of exasperated fondness that never goes away.  The first year you’re all told that your Hogwarts house will be like your family, and that’s true.  But I think you’ll also find that you’ve formed a kinship with everyone you attended with, and that’s something that never goes away.  Stand tall kids, and most importantly, stand together.” The group applaud him, most a bit misty eyed. 

At last good byes are exchanged and everyone begins getting on the train.  The Marauders hang back for a moment, looking at one another anxiously.

“Seven years Mates, we did it,” James tells them, Sirius smirks.

“Well, we’re not done yet.  We’ve nine months left of pranking.”  Remus sighs, Peter rolls his eyes, James chuckles.

“Well then, we’d best get started.”

 

 

“DELILAH ANN POTTER, WHAT IN GODRIC’S NAME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!” James whisper yells as he happens upon his baby sister and her boyfriend in a hallway at two am.

“Snogging?” Del offers, James glares at her.

“You’re to young for that Del, snogging is how you get pregnant, do you want to get pregnant?!”

“…Jimmy, Mum and Dad _did_ have the talk with you, right?” James’ glare deepens.

“Del…”

“I’m fifteen Jim, I know you worry, but at some point, you have to let me grow up.” James sighs, why did his little sister always have to remain calm and be compassionate to his side of things instead of getting angry and yelling like a normal person?

“Just go back to your dorms, both of you,” James says, sending Tom a pointed look, the man smirked in an altogether far too Slytherin like manner.  James is quite worried about him.  Del says he’s been acting weird, and others have started noticing too.  Still, Sirius asked he not get involved yet, so unless Del specifically requests it or something major happens, he won’t.  Then again, Sirius seems to be locking him out of a lot of things lately.

The year had started off well, everyone as close as they’ve always been but…everyone’s drifting.  Peter and Mary are always together lately, and Marlene is always with them.  To most she might seem like a third wheel, but James knew Marlene and Mary are like he and Phia, though to a lesser degree.  If anything, Peter is third-wheeling, like friendship third-wheeling except in an actual relationship.  The point is, none of them are ever around and Sirius spends all his time with Del, Tom, and Nari.  Remus and Bellatrix hang out with Slytherins most of the time now, Severus is…James doesn’t want to think about that.  Alice is there, she hangs out with he and Lily a lot, so there’s that he supposes.  Plus, as head boy he’s super busy anyway.  But…it’s their seventh year, the last chance they have to be a group together and…and no one wants to but him.  Lily says they’re just growing up, that maybe James needs to accept that things will be different out of Hogwarts and everyone’s getting ready to move on.  Maybe he’s just more behind everyone else but, he can’t accept that.  He just can’t.

“You all right, Honey?” Lily asks, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder, he presses a kiss to the top of her head and nods.

“Yeah, just thinking we ought to get the group together.  Sirius’ birthday is next week after all.” Lily nods her agreement.

“Party in Gryffindor tower?” He nods, “Let’s hope no one nearly dies, or actually dies.”  James groans, dropping his head to his chest.

“Lily, seriously, _why_ would you _say_ that?!” Lily laughs.

“Come on, our rounds finished hours ago, and we’ve been wandering around pointlessly, we should go to bed.”

“You know, speaking of beds.  I was thinking, after we graduate…maybe we could get a place for ourselves?” Lily turns around and links her arms over his neck, leaning back in his hold and smiling.

“James Potter, are you asking me to move in with you?” James blushes slightly.

“Maybe…well, yes.  Yes, I am.  What do you think?” She leans in and kisses him, nodding when she pulls back.

“I’d love to.”  She leans in to kiss him again, a kiss he gratefully returns.

 

 

“Dammit Del, don’t pretend to know _anything_ about what living there is like,” Tom hisses at his girlfriend before turning and storming out of the library, pushing past Bellatrix and Remus on his way.  The two watch him leave in bewilderment before turning back to see Del packing up her things and wiping away tears.

“Del?” Remus asks, she looks up, wiping away tears but no more hurriedly than before.  It was one thing Remus has always admired about the girl from the day he met her, she doesn’t hold anything back.  She doesn’t see the point in hiding things, and she never lies.

“Remy, hey.  Sorry you had to see that.” Remus smiles kindly at her.

“You two okay?” Del nods.

“Yeah, it’s not us.  He’s just having a hard time during the holidays.”

“Sirius mentioned he’s been a little off lately, is there anything we can do?” Bellatrix asks the girl, Del smiles at her but shakes her head.

“That’s kind of you, but no, I don’t think so.  I’ll let you know if that changes though.” Bellatrix nods, “I’ll see you both around.” The two of them wave as she leaves.

“Sometimes I wonder how that child is related to James Potter in any way.” Remus snickers.

“You and me both, Trixie.”

He and Bellatrix locate the book they were looking for and leave the library, passing Regulus on the way.  Something then occurs to Remus, he hands the book to Bellatrix.

“Hey, I’ll meet you back in the dungeons, I’ve just…got to take care of something,” He tells her before rushing back to the library.

Looking in he finds Regulus in one of the shelves and walks over.

“Black.” Regulus walks up and raises an eyebrow at Remus who leans against the shelf, arms crossed as he regards him thoughtfully, “How’d you get around the block?” Regulus snorts.

“Frightfully easily, your block works on desires not intent.  If there is one thing you can count on in life Lupin, it’s that I do not want to harm my brother.  Good day, Half-breed,” Regulus says, then leaves, Remus bites his lip as he thinks that over.

“Remy?” a voice comes from behind him, Remus turns and sees Sirius there, “Were you just talking to Reg?” he asks after staring at Remus’ lip for a moment too long and making Remus blush and release it.

“Um, I was, yes.”

“Everything okay?”

“I wanted to know how he got around my block.” Sirius eyes widen, he hadn’t thought of that.

“And?”

“Intent and desire.  He intended to torture you, but by no means did he desire to.  Need to alter that spell somehow in case there’s a need to use it again.  Somehow though, I don’t think putting it on the Little Marauder is a good idea.”

“I still can’t believe I didn’t notice my little brother is gay.”

“Not everyone flaunts their sexuality like you do Sirius.” Sirius chuckles, then looks at Remus and laughs harder, “What?”

“Nothing, just remembering the first time I questioned it,” He explains, Remus blushes again and chuckles.

“Ah, you mean the time I uh, helped you out?” Sirius nods, still laughing, “To be a kid again.  We were so naïve.”

“Thought we knew it all though, didn’t we?  Like the weight of the world was on our shoulders.”

“Yeah, and our biggest problem was if James and Sev were going to be getting along that week or not.”

“Or if McGonagall was going to catch us at our latest prank.”

“I miss those days,” Remus tells him, looking nostalgic, Sirius turns to face him properly.

“I don’t.”

“You don’t?”

“I mean, I suppose I miss some things but, friendships and everything were so temperamental back then, everything little thing could make an enemy for life and others would make you think you were in love with someone even though you had absolutely no idea what love is,” Sirius tells him, Remus chuckles and nods, “Things are more complicated now but, they’re also more solid.  I wouldn’t trade knowing I’ll always have you guys for all the innocence and feelings of safety in the world.”  Remus nods.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right, Remy.” Remus chuckles, Sirius suddenly perks up, looking behind him.

“What?” Remus asks turning around.

“No way, Remy look!” He grabs a book, laughing as he hands it to Remus who reads the title.

_Silencing Charms and How They Work_

“You can find out what would happen if you charmed the cloak, the answers in the book!” Remus starts laughing too.

“Oh Merlin, I’d forgotten about that entire adventure, you know I never did find out the answer.” Sirius blushes furiously, clearing his throat.

“I did.”

“What?” Remus asks, looking confused.

“Find the answer, I did.  That’s how I knew it was in the book, I found it in there in first year.  I was going to tell you, but something came up, I honestly don’t remember what.  Probably it was something to do with the vial, anyway I never got around to telling you.  Charming the cloak would be difficult, the muffiato charm silences an area so you could just move it along with you, but putting the silencing charm on the actual cloak would be as difficult as making the cloak invisible to begin with,” Sirius tells him, “Of course you’ve done that now so, maybe you’ll manage it.” Remus beams at him, impulsively pulling him into a hug.

“You did research for me?” Sirius shrugs.

“I’d do anything for you, Moons.”  Remus looks into his eyes, for some reason, he doesn’t know why, he thinks there’s something more important to say than reassuring him that goes both ways.

“I believe you.”

 

“Do you remember that time we realised that our kids would be doing this one day?” Peter asks the Marauders and Bellatrix as the whole group sat around the common room, the four look over at him, three fond looks and one strained smile.

“I still say you’ll name him Harry, and I still say he’ll be famous,” Sirius declares, James chuckles slightly, sending a quick look to Lily, hoping she doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

“Name who Harry?” Lily asks, _dammit Lils!_ James thinks.

“Your first child with James.  We think he’ll be named Harry Potter, Prongs says he’s purposely not going to name his son Harry just because Sirius and I predicted it.” Lily looks a bit sad but also amused.

“What if we get a girl?” Lily asks, Sirius seems confused at the wording, but Remus shrugs.

“That was the other part of the prediction, first child, son, Harry, famous.”

“What about the second child then, oh wise ones?”

“How many children are we _having_ Lily?” James asks suddenly, looking panicked, Lily chuckles at him, the rest of the group looking amused.

“Hmmm, Sirius, gender?” Sirius taps his chin, looking them both over in consideration.

“Girl.  Remus, name?” Remus thinks it over for a moment before nodding.

“Adelaide.” The group looks at him.

“Adelaide, really?”

“Your family has boring names so far.  Lily, James, Harry, spice it up a bit, would you?” They all laugh.

“Well, I can guarantee, no child of mine will ever be named Adelaide, and I’ve never been huge on the name Harry.  Though I must admit, Harry Potter is a pretty good name.”

“Harry Potter?  Is there something you need to tell me James?” Del asks, walking in, James laughs.

“No, Del, we’re just talking about Sirius and Remus thinking Lily and I are going to name our child Harry but neither of us like the name.” Del chuckles as Tom looks amused.

“Why not?  I’ve always loved the name Harry,” He tells them, Del looks thoughtful.

“Del, do you remember that pact we made when we were kids?” James asks, laughing, Del laughs too as her eyes light up in remembrance.

“Oh yes, I was sick, and Mum was stressed so I asked you to help her clean up.”

“And I said I would if you name your future child after me.”

“Geez, steep price,” Mary tells them with a chuckle, they all laugh.

“I’m going to miss this.  Hanging around here with you guys,” Marlene says, everyone goes quiet, a sombre air taking hold, before Sirius starts laughing.

“Oh, don’t be an idiot, two weeks after we graduate, and we’ll be at one of our houses doing the exact same thing.  For real guys, we’ll be out and in the world but this group, we’ll never change.”

“Let’s make a pact then.  Once a month we go to one of our houses and all crash there, future children and all.”

“We could do it at the monthly wizarding dinner thing?” Lily suggests, they all nod, agreeing strongly.

“This includes you two once you graduate,” Alice tells Tom and Del who chuckle and nod.

“All right, let’s do this properly.  Everyone repeat after me, I, insert name here.”

“I, insert name here,” Sirius glares at them all, none fix it, he sighs.

“Solemnly swear to spend the third Friday of every month with my group upon graduation of Hogwarts unless Death or severe illness keep me away, and even then, I shall attend in spirit.” They all repeat it perfectly, then Frank adds a bit on.

“…attend in spirit.  And should anyone fail to uphold that, the rest of us will sit around, always waiting.” They all grin,

“Always waiting.”

 

“All right guys, it’s third term.  We’re coming up to that pivotal point,” James tells the Marauders who have holed up in their dorm and banned entry to anyone else, including Bellatrix, Lily, and Mary, much to their disgruntlement.  Apparently saying Marauders first in this scenario gets them glares instead of indulging smiles.

“Right, we had an agreement, seven years ago,” Sirius reminds them, Remus nods.

“We’d do the first big prank of the year, and on the last day of our final year…”

“We’d do the same one, only better,” Peter adds, they all nod.

“So, I’ve been thinking.  We can get into all the common rooms so long as we bribe a Hufflepuff because Del refuses to give away the password.  My point is, we release a frog in all of them, then a bunch in other places, and some in the Great Hall.”

“Sirius, how are we going to walk around the school with a bunch of enchanted frogs?” Remus asks him, James grins.

“We take a frog from each location to the next, so long as we don’t let it jump, it won’t multiply.”

“We’re going to have to walk into the Great Hall carrying a frog without anyone noticing we have a frog.  They can’t see until it’s too late,” Peter tells them.  A few years ago, James and Sirius would have gotten annoyed with him for that, but they know now he’s being intelligent and has thought of how this detail will be very important.

“We have two invisibility cloaks, surely we can manage to smuggle in a frog or two.”

“Whatever position your hand is in is going to be weird and our house knows we have the cloaks, it’d be frightfully obvious.”

“Plus, we only have one cloak now,” Remus adds, looking sheepish, the others sigh and look at him questioningly, “Don’t give me shit.”

“You set it on fire, didn’t you?”

“There was a mishap with an experimental spell and yes, the cloak did catch fire, but I did not _set_ it on fir-stop looking at me like that!” Sirius shakes his head with a sigh, James and Peter rolling their eyes at Remus.

“Moving on, Wormtail has a point about it being obvious.”

“What do we do then?” Everyone sits around, thinking.

An hour later a bunch of plans have been thought up and discarded, parchment strewn around the floor from the occasional diagrams used to explain an idea.  Sirius lays on a bed, his head hanging off the side.  James is laying with his legs up the side of a wall, Peter is throwing a ball up and down because the slight distraction helps him think, and Remus is pacing.

“What if we didn’t _have_ to hide the frog,” James suddenly asks, staring at the ceiling, the others look over at him.

“But we do.”

“What if we hid ourselves instead?”

“We put ourselves under the cloak, walk around the hall dropping frogs,” Remus says, catching on, James turns and gets up.

“Exactly.” Peter stills the ball and looks at them.

“We’re going to be the first people anyone looks to, they’ll notice if we aren’t there.”

“Yes,” Sirius says as he gets up, wobbling slightly from the blood rushing to his head, “But they’re going to know it’s us anyway.”

“We may get caught with Part 1 anyway, without the map we won’t know if anyone’s coming while we’re in the common rooms,” Remus points out, the Marauders all go silent for a moment as they always do out of respect for their lost treasure.  Stupid Filch had confiscated it a week before the Snape incident last year.

“We’ll go in pairs.  If we do this during dinner, we’ll have time.  Hufflepuff and Slytherin are close together, and if we run, we’ll make it between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw.  Whoever does Hufflepuff and Slytherin will need to do the Great Hall too because the other two won’t make it down.  But this way if one gets caught, the others can still continue the plan.”

“Well, it’s not like they can give us detention at that point,” James points out with a laugh, everyone agrees with Peter’s plan.

“Okay, James and I are the best runners, so I think we should do the two towers,” Sirius tells them, James shakes his head.

“No way we answer the riddle to get into Ravenclaw, Remus has to go on that one.”

“Plus, if how he ran that time Lily got cursed is any indication, he can run damned fast,” Peter points out, Remus shrugs.

“Lycanthropy is good for some things I suppose.”

“Hold on, I’ve got an idea!” Sirius says, jumping up excitedly, “Oh we’ve been over thinking this.  Okay, here’s the plan.  Remus, you’re going to do Ravenclaw tower, we’ll do Gryffindor before we leave.  Peter, James, and I will use the cloak to do the other two.  With your hearing, you’ll know if someone is coming, and we’ll be hidden.  No chance of being stopped.  With us that close, and you running, we’ll make it to the Great Hall in time.  Then we put the cloak around a crate and levitate it in, put it under out table and take the lid off, and wait for the chaos to ensue.” The other three grin excitedly.

“We are evil freakin’ geniuses sometimes.”

“Oh yeah, I love us.”

“Best group ever.”

“Marauders, one and all.”

 

A month before school ends, Marlene comes rushing into the common room, she stands on the coffee table and gets everyone’s attention.

“Excuse me, fellow Gryffindors.  It has come to my attention, that it has been far too long since we showed our house pride.  This year is the first since 1971 that Gryffindor is going to win the House Cup, that much is obvious and will remain so if Remy stays away from Binns and keeps his mouth shut.  Which he will do, because I’ve been silencio-ing him every History lesson since the incident before the Teacher’s Point War.  My point is, we need to celebrate this.  So, for those of you youngling’s that won’t know this, when Gryffindor gets together, we usually do it pretty loudly, I think the older generations know what I mean,” Marlene tells them all, the students of a year and two years below them all look excited, “IT’S TIME FOR A FAREWELL CELEBRATORY MUSCIAL NUMBER!”

“WHOOOOOOO!”

“What song?” Frank asks, looking excited.

“Oh, I don’t just mean singing.  We have enough musicians here to have an entire fucking band playing, so we’re going to do that.  Have some instruments set up in a corner of the hall, and the minute it’s announced we’ve won, I want Remy on guitar, we’ll have young Lucy on drums.  We need someone who can play piano…” Marlene says, looking around, Remus’ eyes light up.

“I have an idea.”

 

“So, has it occurred to anyone this musical number will be at the same time we planned the prank?” Peter asks, James waves a hand.

“We’ll leave the Great Hall out of it.  Do this, everyone opens the doors, then suddenly, frogs.” The others nod their agreement.

 

They spend every free moment rehearsing for that final month, which of course, made things difficult for those taking their OWLs and NEWTs.  So, Remus sets up a study group on Thursdays, making himself and Lily available to help.

 

“Severus,” Remus says, stopping the boy in the hallway, the boy looks at him with wide and fearful eyes, Remus is pretty sure that for a moment he only sees the wolf.

“R-Remy,” Severus replies, before clearing his throat.

“Listen, I know things have been hard for many reasons and not exactly lately.  But Gryffindor is doing a thing for the end of the year, kind of a celebration of our graduation and our winning of the house cup finally and just general house pride.”

“What’s your point?” Remus sighs.

“You once said that Gryffindor is your real house, and I realise we really haven’t shown that well lately, but we want you to know that you’re welcome to join us.  And…I’m sorry about what happened.” Severus looks at Remus who stands clutching one arm and biting his lip, Severus sighs.

“It wasn’t your fault, you weren’t in control.  It…frankly it scared the crap out of me, and I still don’t feel safe on full moons just because I know what’s out there.  But I know it wasn’t you, not this setting of you anyway. Sometimes instinct gets the better of Moony, I know that.” Remus nods, “I won’t be joining you, one of you tried to kill me and the rest of the group completely abandoned me without letting me explain anything, just jumping to conclusions.  While I understand the shock at the time…I can’t reconcile the friends I thought I had with people who don’t bother trying to work out why.  I miss Gryffindor, Slytherin has always been a dreary place, but at least I’m not expecting something that, apparently, isn’t where I thought it was,” Severus says this all in a quiet and calm voice, Remus nods his understanding.

“I know it doesn’t change everything that’s happened, and by this point you don’t owe us an explanation, but I would like to hear what you have to say.”  Severus sighs.

“I never had a good one, because thinking back I thought something was important enough to justify this, but it wasn’t, and now I can’t get out without risking a lot of people I care about.  The thing is, we made a deal, it’s complicated, how I got into this situation, but at that point it was either make a deal or die.  I thought if I did make a deal with him about joining, at the very least we could get something out of it.”

“What could be so important?” Remus asks him, trying to not jump to conclusions and get angry again, Severus sighs.

“Regulus would never be harmed or killed by the Dark Lord or any of his people, should you ever be in danger we could protect you without being marked as traitors so long as none of his people die, and…” Severus trails off, Remus frowns.

“And?”

“And Narcissa never takes the mark.” Remus’ eyes widen as it clicks.

“He did come by that night…you and Lucius, you joined him.”

“So, did Narcissa, she just hasn’t taken the mark.  Remus we, we fought him, we did.  We tried to kill him, Narcissa even threw a chandelier at him, which, by the way, top ten things I’ve ever seen, anyway, we had him good for a moment there, but a mistake was made, and he beat us.  At that point it was either negotiate or we all die.  I know now that we should have died but I thought it would be worth it to protect you and Reg as best we could.  Now if I turn on him, your name has been mentioned and he’s curious and I won’t be able to protect you, the deal will be forfeit.  He’ll kill Reg to make a point, and if he knows about my relationship with Lily and James, which he probably does, he’ll kill and torture them too.  I just…I wanted to do the right thing and now I’m just trying to get us all out of this alive.” Remus walks forward and hugs Severus tightly, a hug he returns, then he pulls back but keeps a hold of Severus’ shoulders as he looks at him intently.

“You got yourself and both of them out of there alive, and you _are_ protecting us now.  When Regulus got Sirius out of Grimmauld Place, he sent a note telling Sirius to live and fight another day.  There will come a chance for you to join our side again.  Until then Sev, for god’s sake, _survive_.” Severus smiles a teary smile.

“And when he makes me do something unforgivable?” Remus sighs.

“You may not be able to forgive yourself, but we’ll forgive you.  And if it’s so bad, just leave.  Come home to us, we’ll all be willing to take the risk of your defection.  Grab Reg, Lucius, and Narc and run like hell.  We’ll be waiting.” Severus chuckles wetly.

“Always waiting.”

 

“Is he joining us?” Mary asks as Remus walks into the hall they’ve commandeered for practice.  Well, he says commandeered, no one knows they are using it, but that’s beside the point.

“No but, I think things are going to be okay with him.  It might take a while, but it’ll be okay.”  The house seems happy with that, Remus turns to Sirius, “He’s still pissed at you, though.”

“Well, I did try to kill him so…fair enough.”

“Please tell me you mean that metaphorically and things aren’t getting completely out of hand again,” Kingsley requests, Sirius chuckles.

“No, things got _completely_ out of hand, but it’s all good again now, no more attempted murders.”

“You lot are too free with the whole taking someone’s life thing,” Dorcas tells them, Peter snorts.

“We’re growing up in war time, did you expect us to think taking someone’s life is this big taboo thing that never happens?  Do _you_ really think that?”

“Of course not, it happens all the time, but it’s a thing for adults to do.”

“We’re graduating in three weeks Dorcas,” Alice points out, “Not that I’m condoning murder, I’m just saying.”

“Have we all been raised to be psychopaths?” Emmeline Vance asks, Remus snorted.

“I think you need to be scary to be a psychopath.”

“Hey, I’m a scary goblin, remember!” Remus smiles at her and nods.

“Yeah, I remember.” She grins back at him, “Also, we’d be sociopaths.  Psychopaths are when your born with it, sociopaths are when circumstances during life, usually childhood, are what cause the problem.”

“You are such a nerd.”

“Annnyyway, let’s get on with this.  I’ve got the dance number worked out too, we just need to be in sync.  Remy, who’d you get to do the piano?” Remus smiles mischievously at Mary.

“Don’t worry about it.  They’re practicing, and I promise it’ll come together properly.”  Mary sighs but nods.

 

“Why do you even _do_ History of Magic anymore?” Marlene asks Remus as they enter the common room, the two of them are the only ones of their friends to continue the subject.

“Because I love it.   I’s fascinating and I really love the subject.  I enjoy the work, I like knowing where we came from, what lead to now.”

“Then why must you make it so hard?”

“Because our teacher is pigheaded and boring and annoying.”  Marlene sighs.

“Well, it’s our last exam.  In two hours we will have finished, so don’t be a dick when he gives his speech at the beginning.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“Fine.”

 

Finally, it’s all over, their last exam is done.  Marlene and Remus get up, high-fiving as they move to leave.

“Mr Lupin, a word,” Binns calls, Marlene sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I’ll wait for you,” She tells Remus, walking out as Remus turns and walks back to his Professor’s desk.

“Yes Professor?”

“I may not be the most fascinating teacher, but I do love this subject and I don’t want it to be taught by someone completely incompetent, which, despite your thoughts, I am not.  Should you ever desire to, I would hand the position over to you and move on with my death quite confidently,” Binns tells him, “Frustrating as it was, my classes with you were the most interesting thing to happen since Minerva graduated.” Remus smiles brightly.

“Thank you, Sir.  For the record, I don’t think you’re _completely_ incompetent.  Just mostly.” Binns looks frustrated again, “And also, I’ll miss this class.  My lessons with you were frustrating and annoying yes but, they made me think and they were interesting, and our debates were certainly lively and captivating.  I did enjoy being your student even if you drove me nuts.”

“As I enjoyed being your teacher, even if you’d have driven me to an early grave were I not already dead.” Remus chuckles, “Good luck Mr Lupin.”

“And to you Professor Binns.”

 

“What did he want?” Marlene asks when he joins her outside, Remus smirks.

“Offered me his job.” Marlene snorts, rolling her eyes as they begin walking.

“Sure he did.  Fine, don’t tell me.”  Remus snickers to himself.

 

“I am happy to announce, for the first time in seven years, Gryffindor wins the house cup!” Gryffindor house shouts out their excitement, jumping up as they yell happily.  They all quickly move to their places, much to the confusion of everyone else except Severus.

Lucy and Remus take their positions, and to everyone’s surprise, Minerva McGonagall comes down to the piano, Gryffindor calls out happily about it.

Lily takes her place at the front of the ‘band’.

“*Life’s never easy, this much I know

But I learnt to fight and take it blow by blow

Though this is ending I see in my heart

That moving on or not, we are never apart.”  The house starts their dance, choreographed by Mary.

“You may not be with me, but this much is true

You’ll always have me, and I’ll always have you.” The house sings.

“Together we’ve shared a lot

We haven’t always stuck together as things get hot

But at the end of the day we’ve developed a bond

One that will stick next year and beyond,” Sirius sings from beside Lily.

“As life goes on and things all change

We’ll look back on these years and think the same

Young as we are we have our regret

Even now some friends we are wont to neglect,” Remus sings.

“So, you may not be with us, and this may not be new

But you’ll always have me, and I’ll always have you,” The house sings, Remus getting a grin on his face as do the others when they realise whose part is next.

“So, when we leave and know this is it

Stay by my side, and shout…” McGonagall sings beautifully, the Hall being surprised but ecstatic, then the entire house finishes it off with their victory shout.

“EGO VICIT!”

The Hall explodes into applause as the song and dance end, Gryffindor included.  The dancers bow, then the band, and then they turn to McGonagall, applauding her specifically.  She smiles happily before moving and retaking her seat at the Teacher’s table where her colleagues look amused and impressed, she thwacks Dumbledore on her way past after he says something quietly to her.

“Hi all, I’d like to say something.  We’ve had a very interesting few years, made all the more interesting by our resident pranksters and mischief makers, The Marauders!  So, I would like to point out how lucky you all are to have at least a year without them, and to congratulate Remy Lupin because that song was entirely written by him!” Lily tells them all.

“Oi!  You were all lucky to have us around!  And you’ll miss us!” James calls, making his voice louder the same way Lily did, magic, Sirius snorts.

“Certainly won’t forget us.”

“Please tell me you guys haven’t done something,” Nari calls from the Hufflepuff table, Remus rolls his eyes.

“With the work we put into this, when would we have the time?”  Everyone concedes to that point; the Marauders even manage to keep their smirks to themselves as everyone moves to file out of the room.  They remain seated until the doors open and they hear ribbitting, suddenly people scream and the frogs start jumping into the hall as well.  The Marauders smirk to each other, all thinking the same thing and managing to say it in sync.

“Mischief managed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter note:  
> * I couldn’t find a song that fit properly, so I wrote one, that’s why it’s terrible. Anyway, it’s called Ego Vicit which is Latin for I Won, or the translation I took, slightly more dramatically, as I am Victorious.


	36. Life

Chapter 36

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Dumbledore approached a few of them, asking them to join the Order of the Phoenix in the fight against Voldemort, an offer they all accepted, all except Remus.

He’s living with Bellatrix in her old family Manor along with Peter, Mary, and Marlene who decided to stay with them to save on rent.  There’s more than enough room and they’re all so used to living in each other’s pockets it didn’t bother them.  The others came over a lot, unused to the quietness of only living with one other person.  The Order uses the large house as a meeting place when they get together for…well…meetings.  Remus tends to leave when that happens, half sure Dumbledore is trying to guilt trip him into agreeing to fight.

It’s only a week after they graduate that Lily and James get engaged.  Pulling all their resources together, they have a wedding two weeks later, 21st September 1978.  Sirius is best man, Peter and Tom also standing by his side.  Petunia is maid of honour, Del and Remus stand by her side as well.  This had caused a bit of an argument between the nuptials.  Lily baggsed having Remus as a bridesmaid, James whined because he wants his Marauders on his side, she argued that he had a Tom as well, James said it wouldn’t match because Remus would be in a suit.  Sirius fixed this by deciding to wear a dress so that it’s balanced.  Lily then smiled smugly at James, took Remus by the arm, and dragged him out to go shopping with the girls.  James then complained that Sirius is his best friend and supposed to back him up to which he got a clap on the back and a ‘sorry mate, she’s the bride’ which left him grumbling under his breath about it being his wedding too.

 

A few days after the announcement of the wedding, Lily stops by Black Manor, knowing the other occupants of the house are out.

“Hey Lils, what brings you to our not so humble abode?” Remus asks, Lily laughs and shakes her head at him as he leads her inside.

“I have a favour to ask.  Sort of a, ‘it’s for the bride’ thing.” Remus looks amused.

“And what is this favour?” Lily scratches her head for a moment.

“I want to invite Lucius and Narcissa to the wedding but I don’t want to make things weird for them, given everything, by sending them a letter.  But I know you go over there to catch up with Lucius a lot.”  Remus nods.

“And what’s the part of the favour you’re nervous to ask?” Lily sighs.

“I want to invite Severus too, but I don’t even know where he’s living at the moment.”

“Nor do I.”

“But Lucius does.”

“Ah,” Remus says in understanding, Lily hands him two invitations, one for the Malfoys, and one for Severus, Remus sighs, “I’ll ask him to pass it on.  I have no guarantees though.  Severus is…busy of late.  I tend to make it my business not to ask too specifically,” He tells her, she nods.

“Thank you.”

 

Finally the wedding arrives, Lily’s pacing outside the hall, her brides maids currently walking up the isle, Dora being their little flower girl out the front.  She knows she has to go in soon, and she will, she’s not having second thoughts, she just wishes her Dad could give her away.  He’s out in the crowd of course, with her Mum.  But he’s sick and they all know he won’t be around much longer, which is why they rushed this wedding so much, she knows he’s just as bummed as she is not to be able to give her away.  Monty had offered to do it, but she was worried her Dad would feel replaced if she got James’ Dad to do it.

“He might not be able to give you away, but he’s still here,” Lily tells herself, preparing to walk down the aisle when an arm links with hers.

“I am definitely not your Father, but if you’re nervous to walk down alone, I can give you away?” Lily looks to her side and smiles wide, tears falling from her eyes despite her desperate attempt not to let them, Severus smiles back as she nods.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” She tells him honestly, he chuckles, kissing her head.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.  You look beautiful by the way.”  She blushes.

“You look quite handsome yourself, rather dazzling in fact,” She replies, she peers round and sees it’s her turn to walk, “Thank you for this Sev, I know it’s not exactly the role any of us imagined you taking in my wedding.”  Severus smiles as he walks her forward.

“No, but I’m happy to be here anyway, and you know I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”  She leans her head on his shoulder as they walk in before she straightens up.  She sees the surprised looks on everyone’s faces as they walk in together, and feels Severus relax at the happy look on James’ face, she smiles.

 

During the reception Remus has just danced with Lily, handing her over to Sirius and goes to grab a drink.  He sees Severus standing in a corner, he sees him wince and his eyes flicker to his wrist for a moment before his fist clenches and he leans back against the wall, taking a sip of his drink.  Remus grabs his drink and walks over to join him.

“It’s nice to see you again, Sev.”  Severus looks at him and smiles, nodding slightly.

“And you Remy, thank you for passing the invitation along.” Remus shrugs.

“It was Lily’s idea to use the Malfoy owling system, guess she just really wanted you here.” Severus chuckles.

“Malfoy owling system?”

“Don’t ever tell him I called him an owl.”

“Completely going to tell him next time I speak to him, probably after he stops dancing with Narcissa.” Remus laughs too.

“So, how long’s he been calling for you?” Severus eyes snap to Remus’ face, Remus shrugs, “You aren’t quite as subtle as you think.  Don’t worry, doesn’t look like anyone else noticed.”  Severus lets out a relieved sigh.

“About ten minutes.”

“It’s only going to get more painful,” He reminds him, Severus nods, “And he may want you for something important.”

“He can suck an egg, this is more important.” Remus chokes on his drink, laughing as he fails to breath and making himself continue choking.  Severus thumps him on the back several times as he looks extremely amused.

“Glad to see your priorities haven’t changed, but please God if you ever say that to his face get a video.” Severus chuckles.

“I’m no Gryffindor, my self-preservation skills are far better than that.”

“Unless he doesn’t accept ‘favoured person’s wedding’ as a good enough excuse to ignore him, right?”

“Obviously.” Both chuckle before looking around the room, really just enjoying the atmosphere.

“Everyone’s trying so damned hard to be happy, I can’t tell if it’s nice or sad,” Remus tells him after a few minutes, Severus shrugs.

“I don’t know, but I guarantee it’s going to end in a bunch of children being born.” Remus laughs loudly.

“Want to place bets on who comes first?” Severus chuckles, nodding.

“A galleon says Alice and Frank are first.”

“I say Lily and James will adopt before theirs is born.”

“Perhaps, but Alice’s pregnancy will probably be what gets them to do it.” Remus nods.

“Have we forgotten Lucius and Narcissa?” Severus shakes his head.

“I’m thinking it’ll be a while.  Neither are keen on bringing a child into this world at the moment.”

“Can’t fault them for that.” Severus hums his agreement.

“What about you and Bella?” Remus blows out a breath.

“I don’t know, I know it wasn’t really her but, I keep remembering what she said on the train while under the Imperius.  She might have been cursed but she wasn’t wrong.  And, with everything else going on it just seems…insane, at the moment.”

“One thing I’ve found with this war Remy, is the only way to get through it is to remember what it is we’re fighting for.” Remus sighs.

“I’m not fighting, I didn’t join Dumbledore.” Severus doesn’t seem surprised.

“I know you didn’t, but I wasn’t talking about you.  You may not feel you need it, but maybe you should think about giving _her_ something to fight for,” He tells him, gesturing to where Bellatrix is dancing with James, both laughing about something.

“Mind if I steal Severus for a dance?” Lily asks, coming up to them, Remus smiles at her.

“Not at all,” He replies, she quickly pulls Severus onto the dance floor.  He stands watching for a moment before walking over to Bellatrix and James, “Mind if I cut in?” James smiles at him, standing aside.

“She’s all yours.”  Remus grins at him as he takes his Girlfriend in his arms.

“You know, we should do this someday,” Bellatrix tells him, he smiles at her.

“Is this you proposing?” He asks, she shakes her head with a giggle.

“Not unless you’re prepared for a long engagement.  I mean after the war.  I know why they did it now, they didn’t want to look back and see all the people who aren’t there.  But, I want ours to be a celebration of life continuing, and of the people who made it through, you know?” Remus nods.

“It sounds lovely, which, coincidentally, is how you look.” Bellatrix blushes as she laughs.

“Smooth talker.”

“It was pretty smooth, wasn’t it.”  She laughs again as she lays her head on his chest, he rests his head on top of hers, “I’d love to marry you after this is all over.”

“I love you Remy Lupin.”

“I love you too Bella Black.”

 

It’s only a week after that, 28th September 1978, that Bellatrix comes home in a rush, all but collapsing into Remus’ arms as he comes running down to her.

“Trixie?” She looks up at him, fearfully.

“They’re dead, they’re all dead, he killed _all_ of them,” She tells him, whispering the first two and speaking the third part in a pained voice.

“Who?  Trixie who died?” He asks her, afraid of the answer as much as he is frantic for it.

“Mary, her whole family.  Peter’s out on an Order mission so Mary asked if I wanted to come to lunch at her parents’ place.  I was late though, when I got there…Oh Salazar, Remy,” She says before breaking down sobbing, Remus holds her close as he cries too.

“There’s an Order meeting today, isn’t there?” He asks a good ten minutes later, she nods, “I’ll go with you, we’ll tell them together.”  She holds him tighter.

“Thank you.”

 

“Remus?” James asks, surprised when he is sitting in the dining room and waiting with Bellatrix, then he sees the looks on their faces and grabs his wife’s hand, “Who?”

“It’s best if we wait for the others.” Bellatrix starts crying again, though she tries valiantly not to.

Five minutes later and everyone is there, everyone except Mary.

“Mary and her family were all killed earlier today,” Remus tells them when Bellatrix tries and fails to speak, mumbles of horror and sadness go throughout the table, Dumbledore looks at him in query.

“Are you still content to sit on the side lines and pretend you haven’t been helping your friends come up with plans and such?” Remus sighs, of course the old man knows about that.

“No, I’m not.”  Dumbledore smiles slightly though, Remus must admit, he _does_ seem a bit upset about the news, Remus takes a seat at the table, “Catch me up.”

It doesn’t take long.  They’ve succeeded in very little.

“So the blueprints to this hidden cache are where exactly?” Remus asks, trying to understand what in the hell these people have managed to do.

“With you-know-who’s most trusted Death Eater, ‘course we don’t know who that is exactly,” Alastor Moody responds, Remus chews on his lip.

“I don’t suppose _you_ have any ideas…?” Dumbledore asks as though he hasn’t been counting on Remus giving in and coming up with something, Remus glares at him.

“Why would _I_ be able to come up with something if you can’t?” Dumbledore sighs at him.

“We need someone who can think like He-who-must-not-be-named.  Appreciated comments or not, you have been compared to him on more than one occasion.” Remus has to give him that point, “And you are the one who gave him his current plans to rid our world of Muggle-borns.” Lily gasps and looks at him, Remus grimaces.

“Accidentally!” Remus defends.

“You had better hope you come up with something Lupin,” Lily tells him unhappily, he nods, thinking.

“We’re thinking it’s Malfoy,” Peter tells him, he’d been quiet so far since the news of his dead girlfriend, honestly Remus is surprised to hear him take part in the conversation at all.

“It’s not.”

“How do you know that?” Moody asks him, Remus sighs, unable to explain the history properly.  That’s when it clicks.

“Because it’s Severus Snape.”  Everyone sighs.

“Great, the one person we can’t find.”  Remus frowns.

“You lost him?”

“We don’t know where he lives,” Lily replies, looking uncomfortable with the conversation.  Remus debates what to say for a moment, he knows where Severus lives, but is telling them the right call?  Is he going to betray his friend?  Remus frowns, he’s made his choice.  If this is the side he’s going to fight on, it will be to the best of his ability.

“I do.”  The room looks to him in a stunned disbelief.

“Why would he tell you?”

“He didn’t, but it came up a few days ago at a dinner at Ray’s manor.” Marlene looks at him with pursed lips.

“Ray, as in Raymond Zabini?” Remus nods, “Do I want to know why you were at a dinner at his place?”

“He’s getting married, we were celebrating.”

“How can you _still_ be friends with these people?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“THEY’RE DEATH EATERS REMY!”

“YES, AND THEY WERE A YEAR AGO TOO!”

“I DIDN’T UNDERSTAND IT THEN, EITHER.”

“Questionable or not, these contacts will prove useful.  Assuming you’re going to be using them to our advantage,” Moody comments.

“Wouldn’t be sitting here if I weren’t willing to fight this war.”

“And you’re going to turn on your friends then?”

“A necessary evil.  I chose this side, that means I do whatever it takes for us to win.”

“Moody, trust me, if he felt it necessary he would turn on _us_ to win this war now that he’s in it,” Sirius tells him, gesturing to he and James.

“We do have another problem,” Remus tells them, Dumbledore raises an eyebrow in question, “He’s living with Regulus.”

“What’s that?” Sirius asks.

“Regulus moved out, apparently living in silence was getting to him and his parents are still pretending he doesn’t exist until they need him.  He figured at this point it doesn’t matter, you-know-who will still know where he is and he’s still the heir.  So he moved out, bought a place for the holidays and summer until he finishes his last year of school, which hasn’t even started yet.  He invited Severus to move in with him.  Apparently they got close after Lily kicked him out.”

“He joined Voldemort, what was I supposed to do?!”

“I’m not judging you Lily, I’m just explaining how they came to be living together.”

“I really hate it when you’re in tactical mode.” Remus rolls his eyes at the terminology.

“Do you know where this place is?  The layout?  Have you been there?”

“No, to all of it, but I was invited round for tea next week.”

“How is he?” Sirius asks, Remus makes a pinched face.

“Sporting an impressive scar.” Sirius looks concerned, Remus debates whether or not to tell him, eventually deciding to, “When you were blasted off the family tree, Walburga Black decided Reg needed a lesson to remember what happened to failures, cut across his neck with one of the shards of *stone.  Healed it and made sure it’d scar so he would never forget what happened to things that disappointed her.”

“Hold on, we may have the plans to Black’s new place, uh, the younger one, that is,” Benjy Fenwick tells them, “Sir?” Dumbledore snaps his fingers, making a folder appear.  He starts looking through it.

“I need to get around to organising this,” He mutters, Marlene rolls her eyes, then realises who she just rolled her eyes at and looks horrified, “Ah, look at that, so we do.”

“Why weren’t the rest of us made aware of this?” James asks him, Dumbledore raises an eyebrow at him.

“It wasn’t relevant,” He replies as he rolls the blueprint out on the table, enlarging it so that they called all see.

“We’ve never planned a break in before,” Gideon Prewett points out.

“I don’t even know how to read blueprints,” His brother Fabian admits, the two sit back, waiting for someone else to work out what to do.

“Severus helped choose this, didn’t he?” Lily asks, Remus shrugs.

“No idea, why?”

“Well, either he did or it was chosen with him in mind, there’s room for a horse.”

“Reg did mention getting a horse, brown one with a white mane.  Said he’d found the perfect one, anniversary present for Severus.”

“THEY’RE TOGETHER?!” Sirius suddenly screeches, James stares dispassionately at the table before him.

“All good Padfoot, didn’t need that ear.”

“Sorry Prongs, but damn.”

“Can we focus, for like, thirty seconds?  Please?” The two shut up.

“How did you _do_ that?” A redhead Remus doesn’t think he’s met before asks, Remus shrugs.

“Lots of practice.”

“We learnt a long time ago interrupting Remy when he gets like this leads to nothing but hexes and no help on homework.  Except Sirius with potions, which I still say was unfair.”

“Ha ha, he likes me better.”  Remus gives them a quelling look, they both shut up.

“Right, we need to work out where the blueprints to the cache are being kept.” If the situation weren’t so serious, they’d have all found it amusing how everyone who knew him instinctually let him take the lead despite having just joined the Order officially.  The rest decided to see how it played out, given Dumbledore appeared to be letting it happen.

“Study is too obvious, needs to be somewhere no one would think to look, or is fortified enough for it not to matter,” Peter tells them, the present members of the old group all nod.

“Kitchen?” Bellatrix suggests, Alice shakes her head.

“Too much risk of getting destroyed.”

“What about the safe?” Lily suggests, this confuses those not of the group seeing as there is no safe on the plans.

“No, he wouldn’t care enough about them to protect them that much, this is Reg, he’s going to have left them somewhere we can find them,” Frank tells her.

“Right, but it isn’t Reg who hid them, it’s Severus,” Marlene reminds them.

“He’s got to be you-know-who’s most trusted for a reason,” Peter points out, James frowns at the blueprints, then he looks up at Lily, pointing at the attic, her eyes light up.

“Of course!”

“What?” Frank asks, confused.

“There’ll be a mattress in the attic, in the lining of that is where he’ll keep them.”

“There’s going to be some enchantment that lets only him through though,” Lily tells them confidently, “I think that’s where you come in Remy, do you remember it?”  Remus nods, “Great, now we just need to work out how to get in.”

“Sirius, what defences are going to be in place?” Remus asks him, Sirius starts pointing at places on the blueprints and running through it all, “Sounds like we’ll be better off going in a small group during the day.  If they enter through the attic window, they’ll be right on top of it.”

“How do we get up to the attic window?” Alice asks, James looks at her like she’s an idiot.

“Yes, how could we, wizards, possibly get onto a roof.  If only we had brooms that could fly.”

“Time and a place Mate,” Sirius tells him.

“All right, we have a plan.  When do we want to execute it?” Kingsley asks, directing the question to Remus instead of Dumbledore out of habit.

“Before next week, if we do it before you go over there, they’ll never suspect you were involved,” The redheaded bloke suggests, “Best not give away that advantage until we have to.”  Remus nods, then realises he should probably learn this man’s name.

“Sorry, who are you?”

“Arthur, Arthur Weasley, and this is my wife, Molly.”

“Nice to meet you both, Remus Lupin.”

“We know, they talk about you a lot, we’ve used quite a few of your old ideas,” Molly tells him, he can’t tell if that’s a compliment or not, Remus turns a suspicious eye to his friends who are all very suddenly interested in other things.

“Two days?” Remus asks Dumbledore who shrugs.

“Why not.”

“I’m sorry, is this Order being run by Remy Lupin now?  Because having been in Slytherin while he was at school, I have some concerns,” Caradoc Dearborn says.

“Hey, no one died, did they?  And he kept us alive through it all, _and_ he lead the attack against the Death Eaters that planned to storm the school!” Sirius defends.

“Relax Sirius, given his position on things, his concerns are justified,” Remus tells him, Sirius sits back in his chair.

“You’re the one that obliviated them all?” Moody asks, Remus shook his head.

“No, most of Gryffindor at the time was there too.”

“That’s not my point, you gonna be able to kill someone if it comes up?”

“To be fair, I’m ninety percent sure that was his original plan to stop them,” Sirius tells them Remus glares at him, “What?  You were in quite a huff and it wasn’t until Minnie pointed out we can’t massacre people that you even thought about it, hell, I questioned it before you did.”

“I was not going to massacre thirty-six people!”

“You certainly came close enough to killing all of Slytherin more than once,” Caradoc points out, Remus sighs.

“I didn’t though.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think not being able to kill someone is going to be a problem for you.”

“You’re making me sound like a psychopath.”

“If you have never killed anyone, none of this answers my question,” Moody states.

“None of us have killed anyone but you and Peter,” James points out.

“I killed my own Father, literally in the next room,” Bellatrix pointed out, James nods.

“Okay, fair point.”

“And Sirius has attempted murder before,” Marlene says

“Yeah but I chickened out of that.”

“Remus, just answer the bloody question so we can move on,” Lily requests, Remus sighs.

“No, I will not have a problem killing someone should the need arise.  I am going to try to find any other way first though.  I’m curious, are all these meetings as much of a mess as this one?”

“Usually worse, your presence seems to have calmed them down quite a bit, they’re usually rowdier,” Molly tells him, Remus turns an unimpressed look on Sirius and James.

“What makes you think she meant us?”

“You’re over grown children.”

“Fair.”

“Who’s going?” Peter asked, looking at the blueprints again, clearly not in a joking mood.  It serves to remind them all exactly what preceded this discussion, suddenly none of them are joking anymore.

“Remus has to, we need him to get past the enchantment,” Marlene tells the others.

“Sirius should come, if something goes wrong and we need a way out, he’s going to know what trouble we might run into more than anyone,” Remus adds, the others nod.

“Then we just need someone extra in case something goes wrong.  When we’ve fulfilled requirements, depending on the numbers, Dumbledore usually chooses someone to go along as back up in case things go awry,” Sirius tells Remus who nods.

“Sturgis, go with them,” Dumbledore orders, a man with straw-coloured hair and grey eyes nods.

“Sturgis Podmore,” Sturgis introduces, holding a hand out for Remus who takes it and shakes it.

 

30th September 1978

Two days later the three of them fly over to Severus and Regulus’ house, Sirius gets them through the wards as best he can.

“All right, they’re going to be alerted to our presence, but it won’t tell them where or who.  We get in, get the blueprints, get out,” Sirius tells them, the other two nod, they enter.

They successfully locate the mattress and cut into it, finding the blueprints on the last side they look, naturally.

“I was wondering when you lot would work it out, somehow I’m not surprised it took him to do it.”  The three Order members turn around and see Severus Snape leaning against the wall.

“How the hell did you do that?” Remus asks, he hadn’t heard or smelt anything, Severus smirks.

“Seven years, you think I wouldn’t work out a way to sneak up on you?” Remus looks rather put-out at that revelation, “I suppose, really, I should have known Lily and James would remember,” He says as he looks at the mattress they’d destroyed.

“You going to stop us leaving?” Severus looks at Remus sadly.

“Tell me I don’t need to.”  Remus thinks through everything he knows, trying to work out a way for Severus to do this without losing his standing with the Dark Lord.

“Your deal comes into play, doesn’t it?  No way you try to stop them without me getting in between.”

“He won’t like it, and it will put more focus on you.”

“I can look after myself.  Besides, I can’t imagine he’s ever actually happy.” Severus feels a shiver go down his spine.

“No, I think he’s happy far too often in this war.  Go on, get out of here.” Remus nods, the other two are confused but go with him.

“Stay in front of me,” He tells them, they nod as they get on their brooms.

“Remus, there’s something you ought to know,” Severus tells him, he turns and looks back, “His name, it’s Roana Gaunt.” Remus’ eyes widen, recognition flooding through, he nods.  Then they leave.

 

“What the hell happened in there Remy?!” Sirius demands as soon as they get back to the manor where they know the others are waiting.

“You-know-who’s most trusted you say, and he just lets us go?” Sturgis further queries.

“Yes, to be honest, I didn’t expect that to actually work.”

“What deal were you talking about?” Sirius asks as they enter the dining room.

“All this time and you still seem to believe he’d join him for no reason.”

“So he made a deal with he-who-must-not-be-named?  What the hell did he have that _he_ wanted?” Sirius asks him, bewildered.

“And who is Roana Gaunt?” Remus sighs.

“Who indeed.”

“De ja vu,” Bellatrix comments from her seat, he smirks at her.

“Roana Gaunt is the true name of Voldemort.  As for Severus’ deal, I’m afraid I don’t know all the details of what happened, all I do know is that they fought, and Severus ended up in a position to negotiate terms. I never did find out what his side of the deal was.”

“What terms had him letting us walk, or fly as it were, out of there?” Sturgis asks, Remus sighs, handing the plans to Dumbledore as the three take their seats.

“If I am ever in danger, he can protect me without being considered a traitor, so long as none of his people die.”

“Why would you-know-who agree to such a thing?” Molly asks, Remus shrugs.

“No idea, I wasn’t there, and Sev never told me anything more about it.”  And okay, that may be a lie, but he doesn’t think he has the right to reveal Narcissa and Lucius’ part in the deal, not unless he has to.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” James asks, Remus raises an eyebrow at him as he crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.

“You never wanted to listen when he tried to explain, why should you get to hear it from me?” James shuts up.

“We have the plans, that’s the main thing.  And we may be able to use this deal to our advantage at some point,” Arthur tells them, they all agree.

“Do we know where this cache is?  Or what’s in it?”  Remus asks, they hadn’t got that far in the last meeting.

“We don’t know what’s in it, but we do know it’s of great importance to you-know-who.  We also know where it is, we had the Potter’s dog, Snuffles, sniff it out yesterday.” Remus looks to James, unable to not smile.

“Man, you know, I have not seen Snuffles in almost a month.”

“You ought to see him more often, pretty sure he loves you more than he loves food, and that’s saying something.” Remus chuckles, Lily frowns at James.

“Honey, we don’t _have_ a dog.” James rubs at the back of his head awkwardly.

“So um, Lils, gotta talk to you about something I may have done while you were out yesterday…”

“James Fleamont Potter you had better not have bought a damned dog!”

“I did not, I’ve known the dog for years, he was a friend’s, they needed a dog sitter, I said we’d watch him.”

“And you didn’t think to ask me?”

“It was sort of a last minute urgent thing.”

“We can talk about this later.”

“Yes Dear.”

“Hey, Remy, whatever happened to Flop?” Bellatrix asks, Lily and Marlene exchange guilty and heart broken looks while Remus, James, Frank, Alice, Kingsley, Emmeline, and Peter all look haunted.

“There was…an incident…Flop unfortunately, did not make it,” He replies carefully.

“To be honest, all things considered, it’s probably for the best that the…incident, killed her.  Imagine if she’d survived…” Kingsley says, his words cause a shudder to go through the others.

“Oh that incident haunts me to this day,” Alice says in a quiet voice, eyes wide and eerily empty, Frank puts an arm around her shoulders, but his hand is shaking minutely.

“So, who is Roana Gaunt?” Marlene asks, trying to move on.  Dumbledore clears his throat as he replies.

“He was a student at Hogwarts many years ago, had two siblings I believe.  His father was a cruel man but, I always felt Roana was the least disturbed of the lot.”

“What happened to his siblings?  Are they Death Eaters?” Sirius asks, Dumbledore looks a bit uncomfortable, Remus raises an eyebrow at him.  It’s at this moment he regrets having Remus join them.

“No, Morfin is in Azkaban, and Merope died sixteen years ago.”

“Why would this Roana do something like this?  Why would he become this Mons…thing?” Lily asks, trailing off awkwardly with a slight look to Remus who pointedly ignored the statement.

“I do not know Lily, I will never understand what compels people to do such outrageous things,” He tells them, everything about it screams a lie to Remus, but if anyone else notices, they don’t let on.

“Does knowing his identity help us stop him?  Any living family we can use?” Molly looks at Moody, aghast, he ignores her.

“He does have a nephew but…” Dumbledore seems very hesitant, “I would prefer we not involve a child.”

“I agree,” Molly says strongly, still looking judgmentally at Moody.

“If Merope died sixteen years ago, then the child is at least that old, he may be willing to help us.” Molly turns her glare on Remus, “Of his own free will.”

“He’s just a boy!”

“Mrs Weasley, you don’t even know the lad.”

“Perhaps not, but you do.  I wonder if you’ll be so willing to involve him then,” Dumbledore says, Remus raises an eyebrow at him, “His nephew lives by the name of Tom Riddle.” The group freezes, as do the others who had attended Hogwarts with Tom.

“Does he know?” Remus asks, Dumbledore sighs.

“I am not sure.  He never knew his parents, I doubt he even knows he has an uncle.  For someone who was once very outraged at the concept of leaving fifth years to fight a battle, you seem awfully willing to involve a child now.”

“And for someone who had those fifth years fight for him, you seem very reluctant now.”

“You lead them into battle Remus, not me.”

“You refused to save us.  I am not suggesting we use Tom, I am definitely not suggesting we tell him either.  I merely thought that if he _did_ , he may wish to help us.”

“Why is his brother in Azkaban?” Peter asks with a frown, Dumbledore, Moody, and Molly all look over, confused by the sudden change of subject.  But the old members of the group are used to Peter doing this sort of thing, it usually ends up being important too.

“He and his Father assaulted a Ministry Investigator. Both were sentenced to Azkaban.  As I understand it, Marvolo died shortly after being imprisoned.”

“Why were you keeping such a close eye on them?” Remus asks Dumbledore, only it’s at that moment that it becomes very clear to Remus, “Unless you weren’t.  You did some checking into their past because you knew, you knew who Voldemort really was.”

“That’s preposterous!” Molly exclaims.

“Then why isn’t he denying it?” Everyone turns to look at Dumbledore who simply sighs.

“You are quite correct Remus, I have been aware of Voldemort’s identity for quite some time.  I did not think it relevant because after having looked into it, I knew there was nothing in his past that could help us.  I thought keeping the information to myself might help protect Tom.  I am sure you, of all people, will understand the need to keep some cards close to your chest.” Much as he’d like to, Remus can’t exactly argue with that.

“If this information doesn’t help us, then fixating is only going to waste time.  So, what do we do now?”

“We fight.”

 

29th March, 1979

Remus and Peter are sitting in the parlour, Remus playing his friend a song he wrote on guitar when the doorbell rings, well, it’s not a physical doorbell, it’s a spell that causes a ringing noise to sound in every occupied room of the house.    But you get the point, they are alerted to a visitor at the door.

“Expecting anyone?” Remus asks Peter who shakes his head, Remus shrugs as the two go to the door, “Hi, um, Loraine, right?” The girl at the door nods, she’d been in Ravenclaw in their year at Hogwarts.  A few months prior to getting back together with Bellatrix, Remus and Loraine had…had a fun night together, after copious amounts of alcohol at Marlene’s seventeenth birthday party.  She’d dropped out after sixth year though and he hasn’t heard from her since.

“Hi Remy, so um, funny story, I’ve been trying to track you down for a while actually, I need to tell you something.” Remus raises an eyebrow at her, she grips something, pulling it in front of the doorway and revealing it to be a baby in a pram.  Remus feels the blood drain from his face.

“Oh.”

“I joined Voldemort.” Remus’ eyes widen, “But I don’t want my child around him, and I don’t think you do either.”

“You’re leaving him here, aren’t you?”

“I can’t give _her_ a good life, only a dangerous one.”

“Why the bloody hell would you join him when you have a child?!” Remus asks her incredulously.

“Can I just interject here?” Peter asks, they both look at him, “Perhaps the doorway isn’t the safest place to have this conversation?”  Remus grabs the pram, pulling it inside, Loraine follows.

“I haven’t named her.”

“How old is she?” Remus asks in confusion, she’s not a newborn, he knows that much.

“Nine months old.”

“And you haven’t named her?” Remus asks, the incredulity clear.

“I told you, I’ve been looking for you.  I wanted you to have a say in the name but then I couldn’t find out where you live.  It wasn’t until I heard you and Bella got back together that I was able to find you.”

“And at what point did you decide to join the murderous psychopath despite having an infant to care for?”

“When he captured me while I was pregnant and left me with no choice,” She deadpans.  The judgement fades from his face, “Look, this is my daughter we are talking about, leaving her with you isn’t easy for me and it’s not a decision I made impulsively.  I need to get her away from him and this is the best way to do it.” Loraine leans over her daughter, kissing her forehead, “I love you sweetheart, know that, know that that’s why I’m doing this.”  She looks up at Remus, “If I were you, I’d look at doing a blood adoption with Black.  It’ll be easier on her if she never knows I existed.”

“You aren’t seriously just leaving now, are you?” Remus asks, Loraine looks at him, heartbreak clear in her eyes.

“What is there left to say?” Remus doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how to, because she’s right, no words would make this better.  Then she’s gone.

“So um, cute kid you got there Remy,” Peter comments lightly, Remus just looks at Peter in disbelief, “What are you going to call her?”  Remus looks down at the baby, still unable to believe he actually has a kid and the mother literally walked in, left child, walked out, and now he has a kid to raise.

“Trixie’s going to kill me.”

“Bit of a mouthful.” Remus glares at Peter.

 

“What about Hazel?” Peter suggests, Remus shakes his head.

“Sounds like a stripper.”

“It could work for her if she grows up to be a stripper.”

“My daughter is not going to grow up to be a stripper!”

“What if she wants to?” Peter replies, as though Remus is the one being insane.

“I suppose it’s a good thing I’ve been around a fair few children at this point.”

“Yeah, and you’ve already dealt with the first nappy change, like a fucking pro, too.”

“Language, Peter!”

“Sorry.  Look at that, parenting already.” Remus groans, flopping back onto the chair he’s sprawled sideways on.  Peter lazily spinning in the desk chair.  The pram containing the baby is in the centre of the room, both of them looking dubiously at it, though Peter looks away frequently as he spins, “Should we be holding it or something?”

“Did you just call her an it?”

“Well she doesn’t have a name!  Gotten anywhere on that yet?  Because you’ve turned down all of my suggestions.”

“To be fair, one of them was Twyla, what the hell kind of name is that?”

“Language.”

“Shit. Crap, wait-no-fuck-Arghh!” Remus rolls and flops onto the ground, Peter snickers as he stops spinning.

“Twyla is a great name.”

“Yeah, for a _cat_.”

“Just pick a damned name!”

“Fine, Jamie!  Her name is Jamie.” Peter frowns.

“Why Jamie?”

“You told me to pick a name!  Now you’re questioning my decision?” Peter raises an eyebrow, “James introduced me to Loraine that night.  Figured he deserved a mention.”

“You need a middle name.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, how many names does one kid need?”  Remus sighs, going over to the pram and picking up the child, “Trixie is going to be so upset.”  Remus smiles at the child who blows a raspberry, “You are more than worth it.”  Peter smiles at the two of them, “Loraine.  Jamie Loraine.  She should know something of the woman who gave up her heart to keep her safe.”

“You know some people have two middle names.”

“Peter I will kill you right here and right now.”

 

A few hours later, Bellatrix comes back.

“Remy?  Pete?”

“In here!” They both call from the study, she walks in and finds her boyfriend holding a baby.

“Um, what?”

“Trixie, this is Jamie.  Jamie Twyla Loraine Lupin.” Peter grins, Bellatrix stares uncomprehendingly.

“Huh?”

 

 

5th April, 1979

Peter steps out of the floo into Lily and James’ flat, Marlene has been living with them since Mary died.

“Oi, someone you lot ought to meet,” He tells the three occupants, they look over in confusion.  He just goes back through the floo to Black Manor.

When the three arrive, Peter is nowhere to be seen.  He appears through the floo a moment later with Frank and Alice.  He disappears once more, returning, closely followed by Sirius.

“Brill, this way please.”

“I still can’t believe this is happening,” They hear Bellatrix say in the living room, they all walk in.

“Hey it’s not like I planned for this to happen Trixie.”

“I know, I know, and I stand by what I said a week ago.  It’s just…a lot to process.”  Peter opens the door to the living room.

“Believe me, that I understand,” Remus replies, facing away from the door.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asks, Remus turns around, and the answer becomes obvious, “Is that a baby?”

“Indeed it is.”

“You don’t have a baby.”

“Evidence to the contrary.”

“What is going on?”

“I have a baby.”

“Yes, that much I know.”

“Will you two quit it?” Frank requests, everyone walks in and sits down, “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

“This would be a great time to sarcastically start ‘the talk’ but I’m way too tired,” Remus replies, “So just, act like I have.”

“Gosh darn Remus, you know that’s not what we meant!” Sirius tells him, Remus nods.

“Thanks Padfoot.  Right, anyone remember Loraine Baxter?”

“Oops,” James suddenly says.

“I’m surprised you remember that, you were very drunk.”

“You’ve been very drunk since you were fourteen,” James replies.

“Hey, I don’t do that anymore, haven’t in a long time.” James nods.

“True, I take my hat off to your lovely girlfriend for saving your liver.”

“Can we get back on topic please?” Marlene requests.

“1976, your birthday, we were all smashed, Prongs introduced me to an equally drunk Ravenclaw bird, heh, bird, Raven, god I’m tired, anyways, where was I?” Remus asks, Lily looks amused as she walks over.

“I think we get the picture,” She tells him, booping the baby’s nose, “Why has this little cutie only just turned up?”

“Loraine only just found me, it’s a long story but Jamie’s been left with me.”

“Jamie?” James asks, head going up so fast he looks like a Meerkat on high alert.

“Jamie Twyla Loraine Lupin.”

“Twyla?  What is she, a cat?” Sirius asks, Remus smirks at Peter who rolls his eyes.

“All right, fine, you can drop Twyla.”

“No, it’s her name now.  Sirius, don’t insult my daughter’s name, Peter, I was totally right, it’s a cat’s name.  Moving on, you’re here because we need help and witnesses.”

“For what?” Alice asks trepidatiously.

“We’re doing a blood adoption,” Bellatrix replies, “So that Jamie will be mine instead of Loraine’s.”

“And Loraine is okay with this?” James asks.

“Okay?  No.  It was her suggestion for some reasons, but this is more about safety than anything else, for other reasons, it’s complicated, ask me when I’ve had more than three hours sleep.”

“Great, we’ll be back in five years to have that conversation then.”

“I am not in the mood Prongs.”

“Here, give Jamie to Auntie Lily, we’re going to walk out of the room and give you guys a minute, then we’ll do the adoption.”

“I’ll come too,” Alice says, Bellatrix nodding and following as well, as do Frank and Marlene, leaving the Marauders alone.

“So, a kid, huh?” Sirius asks, “You and Bellatrix, that’s a big step.”

“I have made it as clear as I can without sounding like I don’t want it that she doesn’t have to do this.  I just hope she’s not doing it because she thinks she needs to or something,” Remus replies, sinking onto a couch.

“How long as Jamie been here?” James asks, beaming at the name, Remus smiles tiredly.

“A week.”

“She’s not that young, why is she sleeping so badly?” Sirius asks.

“She’s been separated from her Mother, it’s a common reaction in infants,” Remus replies tiredly, “Once she’s more settled in her sleeping should go back to about 11 hours of uninterrupted sleep at night and 3 and a half hours of sleep during the day spread between two or three naps.”

“You looked into this then?”

“He did,” Remus replies, pointing at Peter, “I was too busy trying to calm the screaming child when Bellatrix thought to ask the same question.  Turns out, amidst the books on dark magic, there are books on parenting in the library too.”

“Huh,” James replies, looking surprised, Remus nods.

“We scoured them,” Peter replies, gesturing to the mess of books on one side of the room.

“I’m happy for you, Moony,” Sirius tells him, Remus looks suddenly more awake and smiles.

“Thanks Pads.”

“Should we be calling you Moomy now?” James asks, Remus thwacks him with a pillow.

“PILLOW FIGHT!” Sirius declares.

“NO!” Bellatrix calls from the door as the others walk back in, “Honestly, there’s a baby around and she crawls, what if you accidentally stand on her?”

“Well I’m assuming she’s not going to be crawling around the manor unsupervised!”

“Still.  Life has started, for real now, it’s time to grow up.”  It all sort of hits them in that moment, they all look at Jamie.  There’s no more processing anymore, it’s all become real, and there’s really only one thing Remus and the others can think,

“Play time’s over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lily’s wedding dress - https://img0.etsystatic.com/187/0/7021319/il_340x270.1228204412_5889.jpg  
> Remus’ Brides ‘maid’ suit and Tom and Peter’s Groomsmen suits - https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71IMWRQ0s2L._UX679_.jpg  
> Brides Maid dresses, Del and Petunia and Sirius’ Best man’s dress - https://cdn-img-2.wanelo.com/p/6ec/455/59d/478015a72276b2a936b076b/x354-q80.jpg  
> James’ Wedding Suit, except it has a red bowtie with it - http://memberdata.s3.amazonaws.com/hi/hitsdd/photos/hitsdd_photo_gal__photo_1816705581.jpg  
> Before anyone asks, I have no idea why I went with a blue theme beyond the belief that Lily banned James from Gryffindor theming the wedding and thus refused to have any red except his bowtie.
> 
> *I haven’t actually read all of Order of the Phoenix yet, but I do know that in the movie the Black Family Tree is a tapestry and disowned members get burnt off, however having it engraved in stone seemed far more dramatic. That and an elegant engraving being bombarded off a wall and shattering seemed far more the Black’s speed, at least to me. So I’ve taken some Poetic licence on that.
> 
> Also, This chapter got a little bit ridiculous and everything happened quite suddenly, but things will slow down a bit and flesh things out next chapter.


	37. The Hidden Child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter ☹  
> TRIGGER WARNING: IMPLIED TORTURE. From place of warning, don’t read on if this is a trigger.

1st October 1979

Six Months later and the war is raging on.  They’ve had many wins, and just as many losses.  Remus has proven to be a very good advantage, he tends to be the person they send in as backup when everything has gone to shit.  Which is exactly what happens to Peter and Bellatrix when they’re sent to observe the going ons of Malfoy Manor.

Remus, Jamie, and Sirius are visiting James, Lily, and Marlene, they sit around drinking tea and trying not to think about the war.  Jamie’s sixteen months old now, a year and four months, and is currently playing with a book that makes sounds on the living room floor.

“So how’s Phia?” Sirius asks, looking between Remus and James.

“Well, I haven’t heard from her in a while and I’m pretty sure she talks to James far more often than me,” Remus says looking both sad and amused, James sends a sheepish look his way before responding.

“She and Jules broke up, she stayed with Pet and her husband for a while but, he’s extremely homophobic and apparently Petunia’s changed a lot since they got married, so she’s living with your parents again.  Nearly finished her book though.”

“Right, and Pet’s pregnant,” Remus comments, Lily nods, looking excited.

“She is?” Marlene asks, also looking happy, Remus nods.

“Trixie and I stopped by the other day for tea, I don’t think Vernon liked Trixie very much.  Anyway, Pet gave us the news then, she’s very excited.  Already four months along.”

“She asked James and I to be god-parents.  I don’t think Vernon was very happy with that, he doesn’t like me either, but she’d never put up with him bad-mouthing me.”

“And Alice is, what, three weeks?” James nods.

“Something like that, yes.”

“Everyone’s having all these bloody children, I had a dream last night that everyone had a baby, they all looked exactly the same by the way, and then everyone died and I had to raise like six babies all on my own,” Sirius tells them, the others laugh at him.

“Better you than Remy, who has a long-lasting fear of babies.” Remus rolls his eyes.

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?  Yes, I panicked when the kid’s hair changed colour, but I am not afraid of babies.  I literally have a daughter!”

“How is Dora, anyway?  Bella mentioned you two babysat a few weeks ago.”

“Well she’s four so…interesting.  She still loves me though, Drom’s jealous.”

“Drom mentioned that her hair keeps turning pink around you as well,” Sirius says, Remus nods.

“Yes, we’re still not sure what that’s about.  It’s still creepy.  Weird colour changing-ness.  I mean it’s cool, creepy, but cool.”  They laugh at him again.  Then the floo activates and Del comes out, tears streaming down her face.

“Lilah?  What’s wrong?” Sirius asks, jumping up and going to her, James right behind him.

“I…I should have mentioned something sooner, I should have trusted my instincts, I should have done something, _said_ something.”

“Del, what’s going on?” Del looks up at her brother, crying harder.  Remus moves to grab Jamie, having a bad feeling about this.

“Did you hear about Myrtle?” James nods.

“I did, I’m sorry.”

“No, I mean yes, it’s horrible but I…James I’m pregnant.” James face freezes, Sirius gasps, “I’m pregnant and I’m afraid to tell Tom.”

“You know he won’t abandon you, right?” Lily asks her, Del shakes her head.

“That’s not why.  Myr-Myrtle’s dead and I think Tom killed her.  All the attacks on muggle-borns, I think it was him.  He-He’s been so different lately, so dark and angry, and I knew something was wrong but…I love him, I thought I could help him.  It’s not just me I have to worry about now and I don’t want him around my child.  He-He’s not safe, he’s not and, I-I need you to believe me, please believe me,” Del begs, sobbing into her brother’s chest, he wraps his arms tightly around her, shushing her.  Remus, Sirius, Lily, Marlene, and James all exchange looks over her head.  Sirius putting a hand on her back in comfort at the same time.

Eventually Del calms down some, Lily tells her to get some rest, promises they will talk in the morning.

“What do we do?” James asks once she’s gone to bed, “If she’s right then we need to keep her away from him.”

“I-It’s not that I don’t believe her but, this is _Tom_ we’re talking about.  Tom would never hurt her,” Sirius tells them, unable to accept one of his best friends being a murderer.  Remus bites his lip, bouncing Jamie on his hip, more out of habit than actual need to calm her.

“I wouldn’t have thought he’d attack muggle-borns, kill Myrtle –”

“We don’t know that he did!”

“Sirius, for god’s sake man, do you really think Del would say it if she weren’t damned sure?” Remus snaps at him, Sirius recoils before Remus’ words catch up to him and he deflates.  Remus puts Jamie down and hugs him tightly for a moment before pulling back.  James sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“All right, our parents are gone, I’m her legal guardian.” That was not a fun funeral…not that any funerals are fun I suppose.  But the Potters had been like parents to all of them, their deaths had not been easy, “I’ll pull her out of Hogwarts.”

“James, what about her future, what about getting a job?  How’s she supposed to do that if she doesn’t finish school?”

“So she’ll live with Lily and I for the rest of her life, I don’t care, I’m not sending her back there.  We need to keep her and the…the ba-baby safe.” James sinks into a couch, “I’m an Uncle.  I mean I suppose I was anyway, with Petunia’s kid, and Alice’s, and with Jamie, but, this is _Del_.”

“She’s so young…” Marlene comments sadly, “Sirius, would you mind if I stayed with you?”

“Of course, good thinking Marls,” Sirius tells her, she smiles.  It’s nice knowing she’d be welcome with all of them.  Really she could have just shown up at his house and announced her intention to move in and he’d have just asked what she wants for dinner.

“Marley, you don’t have to go…” Lily says, James nodding in agreement, Marlene shakes her head.

“If Del’s staying she needs her own room.  I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here, but our Pack’s getting a new Cub, and that Cub has to come first,” Marlene tells then, Remus feels the terms settling in to the more wolfish parts of his mind and facepalms.

“Did you have to say it like that?  All right, Del’s not going back there.  But when she disappears, this is going to be the first place he looks,” Remus says, protective instincts going into overdrive and suddenly feeling the need to literally watch Del sleep and ensure safety.

“Then we’ll move, and we won’t tell anyone besides the group where we are,” Lily says decisively, James looks to his wife in shock, she nods at him, he smiles and pulls her into a hug, “There’s that place in Godric’s Hollow we were looking at, it has another room.”

“Why did you want a house with another room?” Sirius asks, James and Lily look at each other, Lily taking James’ hand before they look back.

“Alice and Frank’s pregnancy got us thinking, we want to start a family of our own.  We’ve been looking at adoption agencies and the like but thought moving _before_ we have a child was a smarter decision than after.  I think that part may be put off for a while though.”  Remus groans.

“You have no idea how close I just got to winning a bet, although, I think Jamie ruined it anyway actually,” Remus realises since technically he’s the one who had a child first, he shrugs, “Worth it.”  He ruffles his daughter’s hair, she giggles.

“Daddy!”

“We’ll make this okay for them, right?” Sirius asks, shooting a nervous look to the hallway, James squeezes his shoulder.

“We’ll do our very best.”

 

Explaining the situation to Dumbledore had been an interesting conversation that involved Remus calling Dumbledore a tosser and in return being called a hypocrite before Sirius decided that he and Remus weren’t needed and took him and Jamie to get ice-cream.

An hour later Dumbledore turned up at Black Manor where Remus and Sirius were chatting, Remus attempting to ignore how quiet the entire manor is without Peter and Bellatrix.

“Remus?  Ah Sirius, you’re still here, good.”

“Good, sir?” Dumbledore looks troubled and hurried as he walks over to the both of them.

“There’s been an incident with Miss Black and Mr Pettigrew’s mission.  They were spotted and captured.  I need you two to go in and get them out.”

“Where?” Remus asks, Dumbledore looks more nervous. 

“Malfoy Manor.”  Thus far, they had managed to keep Remus’ involvement in the order relatively quiet, having adopted a policy of obliviating Death Eaters they encounter in order to create confusion and stunt Voldemort’s plans as much as possible.  Moody didn’t like it, felt if you could obliviate them you could kill them.  Molly had put the fear of god in all of them and reminded them why you didn’t tend to piss off a woman with five children and another on the way.

“Anyone else coming with us?” Remus asks as he and Sirius start heading over to the floo.

“No, no one else can be spared.”

“Are we just going to floo over?” Sirius asks, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Of course not, we’re going to James’ place to get his cloak and leave Jamie with them.  I’ve got a plan.”

 

Not ten minutes later, Remus floos over to Malfoy manor, Sirius under the cloak and by his side.

“Remy, what a surprise.”

“Lucius, good to see you again.  I hope you don’t mind my dropping by, I found myself at a loss for what to do with the afternoon.  Everyone’s so busy with this and that lately,” He tells him, Lucius chuckles good-naturedly, leading Remus into the sitting room.

“Actually, Narcissa and I were planning on inviting you and Bella over for dinner tonight.  We have some news.”  Remus is, understandably, confused by this.  Does he not know Bellatrix is imprisoned within his own house?

“Well, I’m afraid Trixie isn’t home until at least tomorrow afternoon,” Remus lies, hoping that, if he _does_ know, he’ll think Remus doesn’t know anything’s gone wrong.

A man comes in and asks for a word with Lucius who excuses himself and walks out, after a quick and hurried conversation the man leaves and Lucius returns.  He crosses his arms and looks at Remus appraisingly.

“Can I assume you already knew about this?” Remus sends him a self-deprecating smile.

“Probably.”

“People are going to arrive to deal with this, you should leave Remy.”

“I’m not leaving without her, without either of them.”

“Remus, close quarters like this, I can’t protect you.  Deal or no deal.”  They hear a kerfluffle coming from the dungeons and both exchange looks, Lucius draws his wand and points it at Remus who simply raises an eyebrow.

“We both know that wouldn’t end well for you.” Lucius sighs, shaking his head.

“Perhaps not, but I can’t let them escape.”

“And I can’t let you stop it.”

“Still friends after this?” Lucius asks, Remus smiles slightly, nodding.

“Always Lucius, I know this isn’t personal.”

“As do I.”

“Perhaps you’d better tell me your news though, I can’t imagine dinner tonight will be possible.” Lucius smiles at him.

“Narcissa is pregnant, we want you and Bella to be god-parents, we’re asking Severus as well.  To make sure there’s _someone_ with legal right to raise him in case the worst happens more than once.”  Remus nods, he and Bella had also decided to name people on both sides of the war Jamie’s God-Parents so that, if the worst happens, it doesn’t matter who won. Therefore, Lucius, Narcissa, Alice, Frank, and Peter are her God-Parents.

“I’m honoured, do tell Narc I said congratulations. I really am happy for you both. I’m sure Jamie will be excited to know she has a cousin.”

“Thank you, my friend.”  They hear a larger kerfluffle, it’s at that moment Lucius attempts to stupefy him, and the duel begins.

Really, it should have been an easy win, would have been, but Severus has been training Lucius, and then the other three turn up, Death Eaters on their heels, and really everything just goes to shit quickly.  Especially once Remus realises Bellatrix is fighting against them, not with them, and looking like she’s having the time of her life.

“What the hell happened to Trixie?!” Remus demands as he, Sirius, and Peter fight.  Lucius deflects a killing curse that had been heading to Remus before going back to trying to incapacitate them.

“Someone gave them the moral reversal spell, which, by the way, casting again does _not_ reverse.”

They battle their way through to the entrance hall, Remus deciding to deal with Sirius’ explanation later.  Right now, they had to stupefy her, and get them all out.

“Remus, we can’t get to her.”  And he knows, he knows, but his tactical side just isn’t taking over.  Then he’s on the ground, writhing in the most agonizing pain he’s ever felt.  He hears a curse thrown, the pain stops, but he’s surrounded.  He sees the other two near the fire place.

“GO!” He shouts at them, Sirius nods, pushing Peter into the fireplace.  They both get out.

“You look like a broken toy, oh Luci can I play with him?  It could be fun to break him more,” Bellatrix pleads with a mad look in her eye, Lucius’ eyes widen at her, he looks to Remus who has been dragged up onto his knees.

“No Bella, no you cannot.”  Bellatrix pouts.  Remus feels his equilibrium return and forces everyone to go flying backwards, he’s about to make a break for the fireplace when someone else steps through, someone who looks an awful lot like their nephew.

“Lucius, what is going on here?” Lucius groans as he rolls over, forcing himself up and walking over.

“A tea party.  Care to join?” Remus asks, Lucius hits him over the back of his head.

“An attack, my Lord.  Pettigrew got away but…well, my sister-in-law remains.  She’s been a bit…I don’t even know, my Lord,” Lucius tells him honestly, Roana raises an eyebrow, “Bella, come here.”  Bellatrix skips over, “Bella, this is the Dark Lord.”  Bellatrix giggles.

“You’re cute, will you let me play?”

“Bellatrix, no.  You are not breaking him more, he’s already pitiful.” Remus hits his arm.

“Who is this man?”

“One of the enemy agents who launched the rescue mission Sir, the other got away.”

“I see, and what happened here?” Roana asks, sidestepping the fact that said _enemy_ agent is just standing before him and no one is moving to restrain him while gesturing to the room around them, Lucius clears his throat awkwardly.

“That would be him,” Lucius says with a nod towards Remus.

“Remy always _has_ been powerful,” Bellatrix says, draping herself on Remus who instinctively puts an arm around her.

“Remy, I presume?” Remus looks him up and down.

“I must say, I expected something a _bit_ more impressive.” Roana’s nostrils flare slightly, Lucius sighs.  Gaunt tries to hex Remus, but Remus deflects it and makes it hit one of the Death Eaters who falls to the ground.  The others pull their wands on Remus again who doesn’t even flinch.  Roana starts throwing more curses, Remus backs up, deflecting them all.  He casts a stupefy that is deflected by Voldemort.  The two duel for a while, evenly matched until Voldemort makes an ornamental chalice fly at Remus.  A silver chalice.  Remus drops, cries out in pain for a second when it burns, hits the ground and kicks the chalice far away from him.

“How very curious,” Roana comments before stupefying the still dizzy Remus.

 

 

Sirius and Peter step out of the floo into Grimmauld place, Sirius immediately sending a Patronus to contact Dumbledore.

“We have to go back, we can’t leave them there!” Peter tells Sirius who rounds on him.

“You think I don’t know that?!  We can’t take them all on alone.  We wait for back up or Remy’s as good as dead.”

A few minutes of anxious pacing later, Dumbledore’s Patronus arrives, instructing them to go to Black Manor and await the others.

 

Ten minutes later, the Order has arrived in full, seated in the dining room at Black Manor once more.

“What happened?  What’s going on?” James asks, carrying Jamie in, growing more concerned than he already was at Peter’s frantic look and Sirius’ cold demeanour.

“Well, someone cast our moral reversal spell on Bellatrix, we tried to cast it again to undo it only apparently, we were wrong, it doesn’t work like that, and I’m pretty sure we just drove her to madness.  Remus was completely over run and has no doubt been captured by now, and I think I may have heard something about Narcissa being pregnant.  So there’s that I suppose.”

“They have Remus?!” Lily exclaims.

“And Bellatrix, only she’s actually on their side now,” Peter adds, grimacing. The room descends into chaos until Dumbledore raises a hand, everyone falls silent.

“The manor will be overrun with his followers by now, and Remus will no doubt be moved.  Our best option is to find out where he gets taken to and plan a rescue then.”

“So what, we just sit around and wait?  God knows what they’re doing to him!  But you can be damned sure it’s not pleasant!” Sirius says loudly.

“Sirius this isn’t helping,” James tells him, Sirius glares at him.

“I can’t just leave him there!”

“YOU AREN’T THE ONLY ONE WHO CARES ABOUT HIM PADFOOT!” James suddenly yells in his face, the room is shocked to silence, James Potter never yells in anger, especially not at Sirius.  Then Jamie starts crying, the yelling having scared her, Lily takes her from James, “We all want to save him, but rushing in without a plan is stupid and will get everyone killed, including Mo…ony, Moony, Sirius –?”

“Four days, it’s in four days,” Sirius tells him, James, Lily, Marlene, Peter, Alice, and Frank, all exchange looks.

“I mean, he’ll break out on his own at that point, won’t he?”

“Or they’ll kill him.”

“Or work out how to use him.”

“Or just keep him locked up like Remus’ parents did!” Alice calls, which sounds bad to those who don’t know about Moony.

“Severus is his most trusted Death Eater, surely he’ll find out and try to rescue Remus, or at least be able to save him from whatever they choose to do.”

“If you had a follower who was usually loyal but you knew putting him near a thing would change that, would you ever even tell him the thing was there?” Peter asks Frank, Sirius glares at him.

“Remus is not a thing, nor is Moony.”

“I didn’t mean it like that Pads and you know it!”

“This is getting us nowhere!  We need to get him out of there before it happens.”

“How the hell do we get him out in four days? We don’t even know where he’ll be, and Dumbledore is right, we’ve got no hope of getting him out of Malfoy Manor!”

“What’s happening in four days?” Kingsley asks, the group exchange looks.

“He did give us permission to tell them should it ever be relevant,” Lily reminds them quietly as she bounces the finally quiet toddler.   James sighs, turning back to the rest of the Order as Lily sits down with Jamie on her lap and lets her fiddle with the strings on her jacket.

“The full moon is in four days.” Sirius thinks it’s almost amusing, you can see the moment it clicks in their minds.

“WE’VE BEEN WORKING WITH A BLOODY WEREWOLF?!”

“NO, YOU’VE BEEN WORKING WITH REMY LUPIN! Who also happens to be a Werewolf, but he’s a damn sight more than that as well!  And he’s saved everyone here more than once, babysat the Weasley kids, and you all trusted him.  Nothing’s changed,” Sirius tells them sharply.  Moody sits back down, still looking unhappy, but he gives a nod.

“All right, Remus had a lot of friends amongst the Death Eaters, right?” Molly asks, the others nod, it was an uncomfortable topic for them all but they knew it was true.  He always made sure to be pretty open about it, lest they think he’s not loyal, “Then we have to hope they remember that and convince others not to kill him after the full moon.  We wait for the right time, then we bring him back here, and I’ll make cookies, we’ll have tea, and then I’ll read him the blasted riot act for not telling us this.” Sirius looks at Molly and relaxes marginally despite himself.

“I think you may just be perfect Molly Weasley.”  She blushes, Arthur looks amused.  They knew not to be bothered by his shameless flirting of everyone, they knew there was only one person he would ever truly want, and that person was very unlikely to ever even notice, let alone be interested.

 

“My Lord, are you sure moving him is necessary?  The manor is the most secure place –”

“Lucius, do you truly think I have not realised who it is we have in a cell down there?” Lucius looks to the ground, “I am well aware this is Remus Lupin, though why you all wish to protect him I’ve yet to put together.  We both know you cannot get him out of here on your own, however I cannot trust you to watch him, thus, he is being moved, and you will not be made aware of where to. This discussion, is over.”

Lucius goes to his study, pulling out parchment and a quill.

_Severus,_

_They have Remy, I don_ _’_ _t know how to get him out._

_He_ _’_ _s about to be moved and I will not be told where to, it stands to reason you will not be informed either._

_I fear we cannot help him this time, please tell me you have an idea._

_LM_

“Shit,” Severus exclaims as he reads the letter, “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.  Okay, think, think, think, think, think, think, think, this is not helping!”  Severus looks out the window and sees the moon, looking at his wrist, where a tattoo of the moon lies, underneath which the number of days until the full is written, he sees there are three days, “SHIT!”

Severus apparates outside of Malfoy Manor and then stalks in, “Lucius, where is he?”

“In the dun –”

“Not him, Lord Voldemort, where is he?”

“I am here Severus,” A voice says behind him, Severus turns around, “I suppose you want him released.”

“No My Lord, I want you to lock him up, very very well.” Lucius and Roana look at him like he’s mental.

“Why on Earth would you want that?”

“He’s a Werewolf, the full moon is in three days, and if he gets free, everyone will kill him.  You _have_ to put him in a cell that will hold him.”  Lucius looks at Severus like he just betrayed them, he glares at him, “If you’d rather have Moony run rampant and be killed, or worse, not and have become the very thing he’s always feared being, then you clearly don’t understand the full magnitude of what protecting him means.”

“Very well, I will see to it,” Voldemort tells them, Severus bows slightly.

“Thank you, my Lord.”

 

Remus wakes up and smells something, something he has never smelled yet he knows immediately what it belongs to.  He looks up and sees Fenrir Greyback stood before him, he snarls at him.  Greyback smiles.

“Hello Pup, been a long time.”

“I am not your Pup,” He says, sneering, Greyback just laughs at him.

“But you are, I’m your Father Remus.”

“Oh, you are a lot of things I’m sure, but my Father is not one of them.”

“We’ll see about that, by the time he’s done with you, you’ll be begging to take your place in the pack,” He says, jerking his thumb to a man in a black cloak and strange mask, twirling a wand around his hands innocuously, Remus glares at Greyback.

“I already have a pack, and that will _never_ include you.” The older wolf smirks at him, moving to the door.

“He’s all yours.”

“What?  You jokin’ Mate?  That’s Remy Lupin, that is.  No way am I makin’ an enemy o’ him!” The bloke declares, walking out of the room.

Voldemort watches this play out from a viewing room.

“Hmm.”

 

“So, is it fear or loyalty that has you wanting to protect him so much?” Voldemort asks, entering the dining room in the Black Estate where Severus and Regulus live, Severus, Lucius, Raymond Zabini, and Narcissa seated around the table.

“My Lord?” Lucius asks, confused.

“Zabini, leave us.” Raymond books it out of there, “Three of my best interrogators have refused to be in the same room as the prisoner, let alone actually torture the man.  It seems they are more afraid of him than they are of me, which is, quite frankly, rather insulting.  You do not fear me, yet I cannot fathom why you would be loyal to him.”

“Honestly my Lord, it’s a bit of both for us.”

“And what is it you have with me?” Severus smiles coldly at the man before him.

“A deal, one you agreed to.  So if you’ve come here to get our help finding someone to interrogate him, you’re out of luck.  _My Lord_.” Roana glares at them, then smirks.

“Luckily, I know someone who will be more than happy to help.”  The other three exchange confused looks until he walks into the hallway and calls out to her, “Oh Dearest Bella!”  Severus curses under his breath as Narcissa and Lucius exchange horrified looks.

“Oh fuck.”

 

 

3rd January, 1980

“Any news on Moony?” Sirius asks as soon as Dumbledore enters the room for the meeting.  It’s been three months since he was captured, and he’s spent most of it ignoring his need to eat and sleep.

“No Sirius, if I had any, you’d have it already,” He tells him as he takes a seat, the rest of the Order saddened by the continued lack of information on the Remus front.  Jamie’s living with the Weasleys at the moment and quite clearly missing her parents.  It had been decided being closer to the twins, who are her age, would help distract her, though she spends as much time with the group and with Harry and Neville as she ever has, staying with Alice and Frank when Molly and Arthur are busy with Order business.  Molly and Arthur don’t know what to tell her when she asks where her Mummy and Daddy are, but they’re even more afraid of what to do when she stops asking.

 

 

“LILY!” Severus yells, seeing her body on the floor of the nursery.  Severus looks up at the crib, “Harry, oh god, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” He says, rocking back and forth on the floor, “He was never supposed to get you, I’m so sorry,” He says to Lily, “I never should have joined him, I’m sorry.” 

“Severus?” Severus blinks, looking at Roana Gaunt who, in all honesty, is looking a bit worse for wear.

“Yes, my Lord?” Voldemort frowns at him, wondering how exactly one can daydream in his presence.

“Was your mission a success?”

“Well, they’re all dead my Lord, how that’s interpreted is really more your forte, is it not?” Roana glowers at him, he sighs, sitting up straighter, “Yes my Lord, it was a success.  He walked straight into your trap,” Severus amends, his Lord may deal with his ‘temper tantrums’ in private, but in public is something else.  Even if he _is_ pretty sure he just witnessed Lily dead by his hand.  _No, dammit, no_! That would _not_ be happening.

 

As soon as the meeting ended, Severus makes a decision, although really, he made it as soon as he’d had that vision.  That child, he knew it could not be James and Lily’s.  Lily cannot have children, and were he adopted he would not look so much like James.  The name, Harry, gave it away as well.  Tom had always loved that name.  Really, there was only one reasonable explanation.

He floos into Dumbledore’s office in Hogwarts and finds the man seated behind his desk.  When he looks up, he seems rather surprised to see Severus.  Severus can’t help but feel a surge of pride at having done something Albus Dumbledore himself had not expected, even something as simple as walking into a room.

“Severus, what an unexpected pleasure, do come in,” Albus greets, inviting Severus over to sit, Severus refuses the seat but walks further into the room.

“Headmaster, I know I’ve done very little to earn your trust, but I need to tell you something and it’s going to sound absolutely ridiculous.” Albus regards Severus for a moment before he nods for him to continue, “Voldemort is going to kill Lily.”

“Why would he target her specifically?” Severus shakes his head.

“I don’t think he is, I think he’s targeting someone else.”

“Who?”

“Tom and Del’s son.” Dumbledore looks at him quizzically.

“Tom and Delilah do not have a son.”

“Perhaps not yet, but they will.  His name will be Harry, and Lily is going to be killed in front of him in his nursery by Voldemort.” Albus frowns at him, leaning forward in his chair, now quite intrigued.

“That is all awfully specific Severus, how can you know any of this.”

“Because I’ve seen it.  I have visions, flashes really, of things that haven’t happened yet.  It’s happened three times before, I know for sure one of them happened.  Another won’t be for years to come, and the only way to corroborate the last is to find out if Moony ever attempted to jump off the astronomy tower.  Ask Sirius, he was the only other one present.  These visions, they are _real_ Professor.”

“Even if what you say is true, I cannot save them if I don’t know what exactly will happen or when,” Dumbledore tells him, Sev rubs a hand over his face for a moment.

“I don’t know what will happen, nor when, only that Harry looked about one.  Professor, please, you _have_ to protect them.  Hide them, hide them all, I beg you.”

“What will you give me in exchange, Severus?” Once upon a time the words might have shocked him, but at this point he’s far too used to it.

“Anything.”

“Save Remus and I will protect them,” Dumbledore tells him, Severus goes to protest, Dumbledore puts a hand up to stop him, “Keep me informed of what Roana does, save Remus, those are my terms.”   He doesn’t know if he can do it, but really, what’s the alternative?  Let Lily die?  Never.

“Then we have a deal.”

 

10th January, 1980

The next Order meeting, once again in Black Manor, takes place a week after Severus speaks to Dumbledore.  Remus has now been missing for six months and they are no closer to getting him out, not that the Order is aware of anyway.  They are arguing over the plan for protecting the Death Eaters next target, or what they expect to be such, when Dumbledore interrupts.

“Sirius, did Moony ever try to jump off the astronomy tower?” Silence falls as Sirius looks up at him in shock, especially at him obviously knowing it was Moony not Remus when he shouldn’t even know the difference.

“How did you –”

“You were the only one around, yes?” Sirius nods slowly.

“Hold up, when the hell did Remy try to jump off the astronomy tower?!” James asks, alarmed.  Sirius sighs, tugging on a strand of hair.

“It was towards the end of sixth year, after…after the incident.  Do you remember that time we showed up with a bunch of weird injuries, my dislocated shoulder, sprained wrists, grazes and such, and we told McGonagall we’d walked into a door multiple times?” James nods, then his eyes widen.

“Why?”

“We were arguing, it was a tough time.”

“I know he was upset about what happened but…I thought he was more angry than anything…”

“He was, it’s complicated, I’ll explain later.  How did you know about that Sir?  Remus and I never told anyone.” Albus frowns, looking at the table in thought.

“That too, is complicated.” He doesn’t elaborate any further.

 

8th April 1980

“There’s been a rather disturbing turn of events,” Dumbledore begins, he’s in the Potter’s new home, Del’s now six months pregnant and not exactly happy.  _Hiding from the one you love will do that to you,_ she supposes.

“Sir?” James asks, Albus frowns and sighs.

“I have reason to believe Voldemort may be targeting your s…child.  And that the two of you may be in danger as well.”  Lily, James, and Del all exchange looks.

“What can we do?” Lily asks, taking hold of Del’s hand.

“Have you ever heard of a fidelius charm?”

 

Three months later, July 31st, 1980, Harrison James Riddle-Potter is born.

“James, Lily, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” Del tells them as she gazes at her son who is playing with her finger.

“Of course, what is it?” Lily asks, quiet enough that she’s not worried about waking the finally asleep Sirius.  He’d been up and pacing for the entire labour before James had come out to the waiting room and alerted them to the baby boy waiting to meet them.  Now he’s passed out on a hospital chair with his head resting on Del’s bed.

“I want you two to be his parents.  I mean, in the eyes of the public.  If Tom finds out he exists, he’d try and get him, I know he would.  He needs to think this is your son, which means everyone else does too.” Lily and James exchange looks, Tom had gone missing three weeks after James pulled Del out of Hogwarts.  Albus heard from a very reliable source, whom he would not name, that he had joined Voldemort’s ranks, now aware of his Uncle’s identity, “He doesn’t know you can’t have kids,” She adds, looking at Lily.

“All right, just until the war is over,” James tells her, Lily nods, Del smiles sadly.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, he’s here?” Peter asks, huffing and puffing from running, Lily gestures him over.

“Harry James Potter,” Del tells him, “Do you want your Uncle Wormy to hold you, Harry?” Peter’s eyes light up as he takes the baby, smiling at him.

“You are so freakin’ cute.  Wow, you know Harry, you have your Mother’s eyes.”

“He does?” James asks, looking over his friend’s shoulder, “Awh, he does!”  It’s true, he and Del have the same pale green eyes, quite the contrast to Lily Evans’ bright emerald.

“Maybe, but he looks like his Uncle,” A sleepy Sirius from beside Del says, James chuckles as the others agree.

“Don’t worry Harry, your Uncle Padfoot, Uncle Prongs, and I will keep you safe.  When we get him back, which we will, your Uncle Moony will too, always,” Peter tells the baby, James smiles sadly, glad that at the very least, Harry will know of his Uncle.

“I want to ask the two of you, and Sirius to be God-Parents,” Del tells James and Lily who both nod.

“So much Yes,” Lily replies, the others laugh, James nods as well though.

“I would be honoured Lilah,” Sirius tells her, Del smiles at him.

“Thanks Ri, for everything.”

 

22nd August, 1980

Three weeks after Harry Riddle-Potter and Neville Longbottom are born there’s an Order meeting.  Lily and Frank stay at the Potter household with Del and the three Tiny Marauders, Jamie is now two years and two months old.  Elphias Dodge stands, trying to talk reason into a sleep deprived James Potter, when they hear the crack of apparition.

“You guys lose something?” Sirius’ head snaps up, looking out into the entrance hall and seeing his little brother with an unconscious Remus Lupin over his shoulder.

“Holy shit, Reg!” Sirius yells, rushing over and hugging his brother despite his load.

“Yeah, yeah, love you too Siri, but for real, this guy is heavier than he looks.”

“Oh geez,” James says as he and Sirius take Remus from Regulus.

“He’ll be waking up soon.  The potion Sev gave me is supposed to knock him out for ten minutes, it’s been eight.”

“I’m sorry, can we get a time out here please?  Death Eater alert!” Gideon Prewett tells them, pointing at the Dark Mark on display thanks to his rolled up sleeves, Regulus rolls his eyes.

“Yes, the big scary Death Eater is here.  I also managed to save your ally, something _you_ haven’t managed to do in almost a year.  So instead of being a dick, say ‘thank you Regulus,’ and we can all move on with our lives.” Sirius raises an eyebrow at him, he scowls, “This year sucks okay?  Excuse my less than stellar disposition.  Is Del safe?” Sirius nods, he nods too, clearly not looking for more information.

“Why did you help Remus?” Arthur asks him, Regulus sighs.

“Because Remus Lupin has been like an older brother to me since I was nine, so naturally, as soon as I found out what was happening I agreed to help Sev save him.”

“Why you?”

“Who else?  No one else could guarantee not being harmed and thus able to actually bring him back.”

“Not being harmed?  Of course you could have been harmed you blasted idiot!”

“Has no one told you about the deal Sev made?” Sirius’ face twitches.

“Apparently not all of it.” Regulus sighs.

“I have to get back, ask Remy to elaborate.  Sirius?”

“Yeah Reg?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Little Brother.”

“Nice to see you all again,” Reg says to the present members of the old group, James waves.

“See you around Little Marauder.”

“Stay safe Reggie,” Marlene tells him, then he’s gone.

“We should put him down,” James tells Sirius who nods, Moody kicks out the chair between them which the boys then put Remus in.

“All this time and he’s just…here now,” Alice comments, looking at the unconscious Remus.

“We don’t know where he’s been or what’s been done to him.  I know you’re all glad to have him back, but we’ve gotta be careful,” Moody tells them, “He’s clearly not in good shape.”

He wasn’t wrong, Remus’ clothes were fine, though clearly not his own.  But his laboured breathing, pale complexion, sunken face, and pinched expression all serve to make him resemble a zombie more than himself.

“We know.”

 

**WARNING**

A few minutes later, Remus groans, they all look around at him instantly. He blinks his eyes open, looking around dazedly, eventually he locks eyes with Arthur across the table and jolts backwards so hard the chair flips and he falls, immediately dragging himself over to the wall and curling up into a ball.

“Remus?” Alice asks, moving over and touching his arm.  He looks up with wide eyes, panicking and pushing her back.

“No, no, no, no, please, please don’t, please, please,” Remus begs, descending into sobs and begging.

“Remus, hey look at me, Remus, do you know who I am?” Alice asks, being sure not to touch him this time, he doesn’t react to her, “Remus John Lupin, you look at me right now!” Remus looks at her fearfully, her face softens into a smile, “Do you know who I am Remus?” She asks, he looks over her face, fear clear on his own, even as he nods, “What’s my name.”

“A-Alice,” Remus whispers, flinching back after doing so, Alice nods.

“Exactly, I’m your friend.” Remus shakes his head rapidly.

“No, no, not real, you’re not real, YOU’RE NOT REAL!” He screams, putting his hands over his ears as he shakes his head and rocks back and forth, sobbing again.  Alice looks back at the rest of the room, horrified looks staring back at her.  Mad-Eye doesn’t seem surprised but, nothing ever really seems to surprise him when it comes to the horrors of war.

“I am real Remus, I promise.”

“No, no, not real, not real, can’t be real, not real,” He chants to himself, Alice starts thinking hard.

“I had my baby, I named him Neville.” Remus looks at her, “I remembered what you told James and Lily about boring names.  Thought Alice and Frank are pretty ordinary too and we ought to, what is it you said?”

“Spice it up a little,” He tells her quietly, she smiles and nods.

“Yes, that was it.” Remus looks at her with the most desperate and fearful look, like he wants so badly to believe but just can’t handle the let down again, it breaks her heart.

“Real?” Alice nods.

“Real, you’re safe now.”  He starts shaking his head again.

“Not safe, no one’s ever safe.” She sighs.

“Can I put my hand on your arm Remus?” Remus freezes for a moment before nodding hesitantly, she puts her hand on his arm very slowly, he tenses but doesn’t flinch away, “You’re right, we’re never really safe.  But for this moment, here, you’re safe.” Remus looks around before clenching his eyes shut, rocking back and forth again.

“No, not here, her house, it’s her house, she might come back, I don’t want her to come back, I don’t want her to, I, please, please,” He says, opening his eyes and pleading with Alice who has no idea what just happened, he moves the arm she isn’t holding and grabs her arm, “Please, I don’t want to be in her house.” Alice nods.

“Okay, okay, why don’t we go to Sirius’ then, yeah?” Alice asks, Remus frowns.

“Sirius?” Alice nods.

“Can you see him here?” Remus looks away from her for a moment before panicking.

“People, so many people, so many.”

“None of them will hurt you, I promise.  Do you trust me Remus?” Remus hesitates for a long moment before nodding, “Do you see Sirius?” His eyes dart around the room again, tightening his hold on Alice slightly.  He looks over him a few times, unseeing and unfocused, before he locks eyes with Sirius.

“There.”

“That’s right, we can go to his house and get out of here.”  Remus still seems uncertain, “Do you trust Sirius?”

“Yes,” Remus replies without a single moment of hesitation, “Always.”

“Can he come over here?” Remus nods, Sirius walks forward slowly, coming from an angle instead of straight at him, he sits on the floor beside Remus, back against the wall as well, so that he didn’t feel too boxed in.

“Hi Moons, long time no see,” Sirius says to him in a quiet and calm voice despite wanting to scream and break everything in sight.

“Padfoot,” Remus says quietly as he looks at him, a pained expression on his face.  He reaches a shaking hand out nervously, and gently traces a healing cut on the side of Sirius’ face that he’d yet to bother to heal after engaging some Death Eaters yesterday.

“I’m okay, it’s just a scratch.”

“You’d be dying and say that,” Remus tells him in a whisper before he leans to the side and curls himself up in Sirius’ lap, Sirius puts his arms around Remus who trembles in his arms as he starts crying, “Can we leave?  I don’t want her to come back.”  Sirius nods, though no one else had heard his words.

“We’re going to head back to my place, Alice?”

“I’ll come along.”

“Keep us updated Mate, and you know, we’ll come by tomorrow when he’s a bit…” James never finishes his sentence, Sirius nods.

“I’m going to apparate us there, all right Remy?”

“Don’t, please, don’t, don’t call me that,” Remus requests, voice hitching on sobs as he does, “That’s what she calls me,” He says quieter, still everyone hears both statements.  Sirius grips him tighter.

“Remus then,” Alice tells him, he nods.  The three go to Sirius and Marlene’s house, leaving behind a room filled with silence.

“Did anyone think to question how the Death Eater knew where to find us?” Fabian asks, James shrugs, running a hand through his hair.

“Probably Bellatrix.”

“Okay, more specifically, did it occur to anyone that this place isn’t secure anymore, and we should abandon it.”

“That shoulda been the first thing we did,” Moody grumbles, though it hadn’t occurred to him either, “He said this is her house, if Miss Black is the one who did this to him, you all know he might not come back from this, right?”

“Of course he will!” James exclaims, “We’ll get her back as well and everything will be fine.”

“Potter, even if you did fix her mind and bring her back into the fold, he’ll never look at her without seeing the last ten months in his head.”

“He’ll forgive her, and he’ll spend the rest of their lives telling her not to blame herself.  You don’t know him like we do, this is Remy.  Do you know how much shit he’s been through?  No, this won’t break him.” Moody sighs.

“Potter, you heard him, he’s not Remy.  I’m not saying he won’t move on from this, maybe he will, but I’ve seen this kind of thing before, and he won’t be the same as he was.  Some things just push people too far, and if it’s Bella that’s done it, there may be no fixing that.”

“There’s no such thing as one horror too many when it comes to the people you love,” James tells him, Moody looks at him with something James has never seen on his face, pity.

“After what she’s done to him, do you think he still loves her like he did?”

“Of course he does!  Tell him Pete, Marls, come on.” They both look away awkwardly, “This is Moony we’re talking about, he _never_ stops loving people.  Derek hurt him, he still loved him!” Peter looks at him sadly.

“That’s different.  Derek was an abusive partner from the start, this is different.  Maybe he’ll still love who she was, but I’m worried he won’t see who she was in her anymore, not after so much of what she is now.” James sits back in his chair, putting his face in his hands.

“This fucking war has taken too much,” James says before he gets up so quickly and forcefully his chair falls over, then he goes to the floo and heads home.

“You said you’ve seen this sort of thing before, how do we help him?” Peter asks Moody, trying to think like Remus would.

“That depends on a lot of things, and honestly I don’t know any of them.  Not this early on.  Now should he ever come back to the field here, that I can help with.” Peter nods, understandingly.

“We’ll deal with that if and when it happens.  In the mean time, I don’t think there’s any real point to continuing this today,” Peter tells them, they all agree and so the meeting is adjourned.  Marlene hangs back, looking at Peter sadly.

“None of this should be happening.” Peter opens his arms, she comes in to hug him.

“I know Marley, I know.”


	38. Recovery

Chapter 38

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

5th September 1980

“Now what’s a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?” Del looks at Lucius who is standing beside her in Knockturn alley, she smiles at him.

“Hello Lucius, it’s nice to see you again.”

“And you, my Dear.  But really, does James know you’re here?” Del sighs, “I’m thinking that’s a no.”

“As I’m sure you’re aware, we got Remus back.” Lucius nods, he had known, “Ever since then James has just been ridiculously over-protective.  I mean sure, I’m worried too, it’s been two weeks and we still haven’t been able to see him.  Harry’s keeping us all up, I know he’s worried about his…son and he’s worried about me, and Jamie, and Remy uh Remus, and just everything but…dammit, I need to leave the god damned house sometimes!” She sighs again, “Sorry, I don’t mean to vent.”

“I wouldn’t have started asking if I weren’t happy to hear the answer.”

“How’s Tom, have you seen him?” Lucius looks hesitant before he smiles slightly and forcefully.

“Ask Remus about that when you can.  I don’t know exactly what happened, he will.  I don’t want to give you false information.” Del nods, accepting the answer, “Regulus told me the state he was in when he broke him out, is he any better?”

“Supposedly, he’s sobbing less constantly from what I’ve been told.  He’s…he’s really not okay though.” Lucius nods, looking pained, “He did mention a name the other day, Draco.  We haven’t worked out who it is but Remus kept asking, rather frantically, if he was okay.”  Lucius smiles for real this time.

“Draco is my son, Remus’ god-son.  We were able to introduce them at one point but, only once a few days after he was born.” Del smiles at him.

“You’re a father?” He nods, looking proud, she hugs him, “Lucius, that’s wonderful!”

“Well, while you _are_ out of the house, can I buy you a drink in the Leaky Cauldron?” Del nods, linking with the arm he offers.

“Sounds lovely.”

 

“So what are you doing these days?” Lucius asks as they drink their third drinks.

“Oh, pretty much exactly what I did for the five years I spent in a coma, nothing.  Only now there’s a baby crying as well as my brother.” The two laugh at the visual.

“Do you enjoy being an Aunt?” Del looks sad but nods with a smile.

“I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything more.”

 

An hour later the two stumble through the floo directly into Lucius’ bedchambers in Malfoy Manor, snogging feverishly.  Thank Merlin Lucius remembered Narcissa is Bella sitting at the Black estate, right?

Two hours later they hear footsteps coming towards the bedroom, both looking at each other in panic, they throw their clothes on as quickly as possible, Del stumbling through the floo just as the door is opening.  She doesn’t know if they were caught, in the end she doesn’t think it matters because she comes out the floo into the living room of her home and sees her son asleep on James’ chest.  Nothing matters but them, so it’s time to stop running away.

 

“WELL WHO WAS SHE LUCIUS?!” Narcissa screams at Lucius who ducks out of the way of a pillow.

“I…uh…”

“I JUST CAUGHT YOU CHEATING ON ME LUCIUS MALFOY, I DESERVE A NAME!”

“Narcissa, please, it was once and it didn’t mean anything!”

“Once, was it?  How am I supposed to believe that now?!” Lucius shuffles awkwardly, her eyes narrow.

“Okay, there was one other time but it was completely different!”

“HOW?!” He flinches, thinking desperately before sagging.

“It’s not, I…I’m sorry.  I love you Narcissa, I do –”

“Then why are you doing this?!  What the hell am I doing wrong?” She asks him, desperation leaking into her words.

“You aren’t!  You aren’t.  Merlin, Narcissa it isn’t you I just…I’m angry, okay?!  I’m fucking angry!  This entire damn war it’s just, it’s bullshit!” He tells her, slamming his fist into their chest of draws, he stops, heaving a few deep breaths.  She approaches cautiously.

“Lucius, please, talk to me.” He takes a calmer breath before he turns to her.

“I am sorry Love, I know, I know I shouldn’t have done… _that_.  I just, all I ever wanted was to get away from my father, marry a beautiful woman, have a family, live a simple life away from everything I despised about growing up.  You, your sister, and I murdered both of your parents and my father, and yes I married the most beautiful woman imaginable, and we have an amazing son who I love so very much, but everything we are fighting for with him is everything I wanted to get away from!  I just, I wish we didn’t live like this and I keep needing to lash out at everything and I can’t, I can’t and I don’t…I don’t know how to…” He trails off, slumping more, she wraps her arms around him, turning him around and resting her head on his chest, his arms instantly around her as well.

“I understand.  I might not have hated all of this while growing up, I’m fairly sure I got the good end of everything when it comes to my siblings and I, but watching everything with Dromeda and Bella go down made me promise myself that when we had a child it would be far away from the influence of all that.  Away from the people who think that’s okay.  All I’ve ever wanted is for our child to be safe, and he isn’t.  We can tell ourselves our doing this is keeping him safe, and maybe that’s true to an extent, but he won’t ever really be safe and neither will we.  Children deserve better than this, _we_ deserve better than this.  I wish I knew how to make it all better,” She tells him, he holds her tight, “But we need to stick together, because I can’t do this alone and I can’t live in a marriage that I can’t trust.”  He nods, kissing the top of her head.

“I know, I’m sorry.  I promise you, it will never happen again.”  She nods into his chest.

“Good.”

 

25th September, 1980

“Morning Remus, how are you?” Sirius asks as the beforementioned man walks into the kitchen, trying to make himself as small as possible.  He’s been back a little over a month now, and Sirius hopes his plan for today will work out.

“O-Okay,” Remus replies, sipping the tea Sirius places before him.  He puts a coffee down in front of the girl almost comatose and slumped over the table.

“Marlene got in late last night,” Sirius tells Remus who nods.

“I know, I-I heard.” Sirius translates that to ‘I had a nightmare and didn’t come get you even though I said I would’.

“Bacon?” Remus looks from the food to him and back again a few times before nodding and tensing up until Sirius moves away and leaves the plate in front of him.  He doesn’t know what Remus’ nervousness around people with food is but it’s not something he’s yet willing to ask about, “So, there’s an Order meeting today.  I was wondering if you’d be okay staying with James, Alice, and the kids while I’m there?” Remus seems panicked for a moment before the names catch up more.

“Alice?” Sirius nods, Remus still seems uncomfortable but he’s not sobbing or screaming and these days, Sirius counts that as a win.

 

A few hours later the two floo over to Godric’s Hollow.  As agreed, Lily and Frank have left already so there’s only two other adults there, the toddler, and two infant children.

“Remus, you remember James?” Sirius asks, Remus looks at James and nods slowly.

“Prongs.” James smiles and nods.

“Hey Mate, you ready to meet Harry Potter?” Remus does an almost smirk at that.

“Is he famous?” Sirius laughs, it’s got to be the best things he’s seen and heard since third year.

“He will be one day,” He declares, Remus shrinks back in on himself, but Sirius isn’t worried, “Now listen, everyone outside of the group thinks he’s Lily and James’ son, but he’s Del’s.” Remus nods.

“I know, Sev told me.” Alice, James, and Sirius exchange looks as James walks over with the child. All three wondering how Severus had known.

“Did he say this where anyone else could hear?” Alice asks him warily, Remus thinks about it and shakes his head.

“No one else was in the tunnel.”

“Why were you in a tunnel?” A month after the fact, and they still had no idea what had happened to him besides Bellatrix causing him a great deal of pain.

“He was trying to break me out, i-it didn’t go well,” Remus tells them, his eyes go wide and haunted, curling in on himself, as he adds quietly, “Severus screams loudly.”

“I-Is he okay?” James asks, holding Harry closer to his chest, Remus nods, a tear falling down his cheek.

“She didn’t think his screams were as pretty as mine.” Sirius puts a hand on his arm, he snaps round to look at him, jerking backwards slightly.

“Hey, it’s just me, it’s okay.” Remus nods, taking a few deep breaths but shaking like a leaf, Sirius frowns at him.

“Okay, new plan.  One of you go to the meeting, and I’ll stay here with the other one, the kids, and Moony.”  James nods.

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea, Alice, you or me?”

“Remus?” Alice asks, James looks back to see Remus looking around quizzically.

“Someone’s missing.” The three exchange worried looks, had Remus developed psychic powers or something?  Then it clicks in James’ head.

“Oh!  Del’s at the healers, she’s fine, just been feeling a bit sick lately so Lily made her promise to go get checked out.  She’ll be back in an hour or two.” Remus nods, then he looks back at them, walking closer before seeming to remember his nervousness and his walking grows more stilted.  Sirius, clearly used to this, holds an arm out.  Remus grabs his forearm in his hand which seems to calm him somewhat as he walks the last few steps to his starting position.

“Harry, Neville?” Remus asks, pointing at the children in turn, Alice and James nod.

“Do you want to sit down and hold one of them?” Alice asks, thinking that him sitting is probably a better idea, Remus looks at Neville for a moment.

“Draco has blue eyes too.” Sirius takes a deep breath, pursing his lips together in frustration.

“Remus, here, have a seat!” Sirius says cheerily, hoping to side-step the impending panic attack at not knowing the fate of this ‘Draco’.

“Draco Malfoy?” James asks, Remus freezes on his way to the couch Sirius had been leading him to, he turns around, watching James warily as he nods, “Draco’s doing well, Sev and Reg have already been caught planning a kidnapping of him three separate times, apparently he’s just that damned cute.”

“How did you…?” Sirius asks, trailing off as he sees Remus relax more.

“Del ran into Lucius and they chatted for a bit.”

“We live really weird lives,” Sirius says with a shake of his head, James nods.

“I’m still not an active member of the Order, so you should go, I’ll stay here with them,” Alice tells James who nods.

“All right, Harry, this is your Uncle Moony, Moony, this is your nephew, Harry,” James introduces as he holds the baby out to Remus who seems to panic.  He tries to reach out for the child but even _he_ sees he’s shaking too much, “Here, lay your arm down like that, yep, okay, now Harry can snuggle in here, and your other arm there, yeah, there we go.”  James steps back, smiling at Harry lain across Remus’ lap, bracketed on both sides by his arms, “Right, I’ll be back later then.”  James squeezes Sirius’ shoulder as he heads over to the floo.

“Daddy?” Remus looks up as he hears the voice.  Alice and Sirius exchange nervous looks, they hadn’t taken Jamie to see Remus, concerned about his reaction, but they hadn’t wanted to purposely keep his child from him either.  Sirius moves forward, taking Harry from him, he slides to the ground in front of the couch, kneeling as Jamie runs over from the other side of the living room, “Daddy!”

“Jamie, oh Jamie, my baby girl, I’m so sorry,” Remus says, holding his child close, sobbing into her shoulder.  She’s two years and three months old now, he missed her 2nd birthday.

“Why are you sad, Daddy?” Remus pulls back slightly, stroking over her face with his thumb before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I’m not Baby Girl, Daddy’s not sad, he’s happy, so happy to see you again.”

“I missed you Daddy.”

“I missed you too, so much, so much.”

 

“James?” Marlene asks, confused, as he walks into the old Potter Estate where they now hold their meetings.

“There was a slight change of plans.”

“Sirius panic about leaving Remus alone?” Lily asks, James shakes his head.

“It was less that and more a, none of us thought he should go.  To be honest, I really wanted to wrap Remus in a blanket and some of that Muggle popping plastic stuff and hide him in a closet and just protect him from everything because that stupid bitch just fucking…” James turns and kicks a wall, putting a hole in it, instinctively looking around for his parents before blinking and shaking his head at himself, “I need to sleep more.”

“What happened?” Albus asks him calmly, James walks over and sinks into the chair beside his wife.

“He-I-well-she-I just-and.  I can’t even articulate how much I want to fucking kill Voldemort.  And myself for ever making that ruddy moral reversal spell, seriously, what were Sev and I thinking?”

“You aren’t the one who gave it to the Death Eaters,” Arthur points out, James nods which worries everyone.  Usually he’d defend Severus even when he ran out of logical arguments, which had been a year ago, but now he didn’t.

“Oh don’t give me those looks, even I can accept that things aren’t as they were.  I have no idea if he’d have given it to them, but I have seen and heard far too much to discount the possibility just because I thought I could trust him.  He did join you-know-who, deal or not.”

“Did we ever find out what Regulus meant?  When he said about him being at no risk of harm?” Peter asks, James shrugs.

“I’ll find out when we head back, in the meantime, what’s been going on?”

“Something’s changed, within the ranks, something has changed quite drastically.  Everyone seems to be frantic to prove themselves all of a sudden.  Except the Malfoys and Severus.  Even Regulus is putting his all in now,” Marlene tells them, she then goes on to explain her mission from the night before, speaking to witnesses from several different incidents that they think may have been Death Eater related.

“Never thought I’d miss the day when Remus was frequently having lunch and stuff with these people,” James says, rubbing at his forehead, Moody nods his agreement.

“We’ll work it out, we always do,” Peter tells them, scratching his hand shiftily, James raises an eyebrow at the action but says nothing, Peter’s just weird sometimes, right?

 

 

James and Lily return home to see Remus whimpering in a corner, Del by the door, Alice holding both babies with Jamie hanging onto her leg, and Sirius attempting to calm Remus down.  It’s the first time Lily has seen Remus at all since he got back, having not been in the room when Regulus returned him.  It’s quite a shock and very confronting, she grabs her husband’s hand, needing his support.

“Remus?  Please talk to me, what’s going on?” Sirius asks him, Remus shakes his head.

“I did it, it’s my fault, all my fault, my fault, it’s my fault, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Remus, just focus on me, okay?  Whatever you’re sorry for, it doesn’t matter, yeah?”

“It _does_!”

“No, it doesn’t, because we forgive everything in this group, right?  Always waiting?” Remus looks up at him, Sirius nods encouragingly, Remus turns to Del who smiles kindly and nods.  Remus stops rocking and starts crying instead, “What happened Moons?”

“Roana Gaunt…”

“What about him?” James asks, concerned, Sirius glares at him and he realises he probably frightened Remus more, but Remus doesn’t back up into the corner any further.  Possibly because he couldn’t, but James doesn’t think it looks like he’s trying to climb the wall either and that’s a good sign, he thinks…

“He’s dead.” Everyone looks at him in confusion and surprise.

“Voldemort’s _dead_?!” James asks, glad to be in a room of people who, while not using it, don’t flinch at the mention of his name.  Well, Remus does, but Remus flinches at everything these days.

“No, he took him.  He took him, it’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

“Remus, focus on me, that’s it, look at me, right at me.  What happened?”

“Gaunt brought Tom in with him to see me,” Remus tells him quietly, Del gasps, “He was weak, I could smell it.  I just…I reacted.  I killed Gaunt but-but, it went into him, it went into Tom.  Something is possessing him like it did his Uncle, I-I think it had been transferring for a while and that’s why Gaunt was growing weaker, but now he’s dead so it all jumped into…”

“Tom, it jumped into Tom.  Tom Riddle is Lord Voldemort,” Del says, Remus winces but nods.

“I’m sorry Del, I didn’t know, I didn’t know,” He tells her quietly as he cries, she nods.

“Don’t be.  You said it was transferring for a while, right?” Remus nods, “Maybe that’s why he was acting so weird, maybe that’s why he killed Myrtle, maybe…” Del looks at Harry and stops her train of thought, walking over and taking Harry off of Alice who welcomes the break, putting an arm around the frightened Jamie instead, “If Tom is now Voldemort and has the power his Uncle had, then he’s more of a danger to Harry than he had been already,” She tells them, they nod.

“We can’t afford hope, can we?” Alice asks though it’s really more of a statement.  Sirius answers anyway.

“Hope leads to hesitation and that, that we really can’t afford.”

“Remus, when he brought you back to us, Regulus said something about the deal Severus made, something about him being out of harms way or something?” James says questioningly, Remus nods, looking at his knees.

“Neither the Dark Lord nor any of his people can harm or kill Regulus Black.”

“Are there any other conditions of Severus’ deal we should know about?” Lily asks, Remus shrinks in on himself at her anger, trembling in fear, rocking gently again, “I’m sorry Remus, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”  He doesn’t respond at all, she sighs, now feeling guilty.

“He’s the one who warned Dumbledore about you and Harry being in danger, he’s the reason Dumbledore put you guys under the fidelius charm.” The room looks to him questioningly but he doesn’t speak again.

“Okay, we should probably be going, I think today has been interesting enough.  Is there anything pressing from the meeting I should know?” Sirius asks Lily and James.

“Just that all the Death Eaters, including Reg, seem more determined than ever to prove themselves.”

“Of course they do, how else will they be chosen as the next host, become the next Voldemort, immortal, all powerful,” Remus mutters rather bitterly, the change in attitude confuses everyone but Alice and Sirius who are rather used to it.

“What are you talking about?  He’s not immortal, nor all powerful,” Lily tells him, Remus chuckles.

“I know that, you know that, _he_ knows that, do you think he’s mentioned it to anyone else though?  I just can’t work out what would even want to be doing this.  It’s a lot of energy to control someone like that, it has to be.  Why go through so much trouble?  What is this thing and what’s it getting out of all this?” Remus asks, muttering under his breath as though asking himself.  Sirius and Alice look at each other in excitement, Remus sounds more like himself now than he has since he got back.  Then he shakes his head, “What does it matter, people are still afraid and dying.”

“I think it matters,” Del tells him, he looks up confused, “Intent is everything, and reasons always matter.  Even if nothing will make it okay, it _matters_ why things happen.  Besides, if we know what it is, we might be able to stop it instead of it just going into someone else.”

“Well then, that can be your project,” Sirius tells Remus who seems panicked, “I’m not asking you to go on a mission and you don’t have to turn up to meetings or be an active member of the Order, but you’re the best person for the job.”   Remus nods.

“I…I guess I can do some research,” Remus agrees quietly, Sirius smiles encouragingly, Remus can’t help but smile back, just slightly.  Sirius is proud, there were some setbacks, but all he can see are the thousand of tiny but huge improvements he’d seen in Remus today, and he’s so damned proud.

It’s decided that Jamie will keep living with Alice and Frank for a little while, since the Weasleys are currently unable to watch their own kids, let alone Jamie as well.  Neither Father nor Daughter being fond of the plan, but Remus at least agreed with its necessity.

 

2nd October, 1980

“So wait, Voldemort isn’t a person so much as the thing possessing the person?” Peter asks as Dumbledore walks into the room a week later, Severus Snape behind him, “Mmmmmmmkay, I think that just happened.”

“Well, among other things we had come to inform you all of the possession, evidently you all already know,” Albus says as he takes a seat, gesturing for Severus to take the one beside him, he does so though he looks as awkward as a straight man in a gay bar.

“Remus told us, among other things,” Alice says, smiling at Severus who smiles a teeeeensy bit back.

“We need to work out what it is and how to destroy it,” Sturgis tells them, James nods.

“We have Remus looking into it,” He assures them, the room, save for Marlene, Sirius, and Alice, look at him in surprise.  Molly smiles widely.

“Best news I’ve heard in a while,” She says, directing it to Sirius who smiles back.

“Can I just put out another Death Eater alert?!  Because we’re developing a habit of ignoring this!” Gideon complains, Severus looks concernedly at Lily who shakes her head.

“Reg.”

“That doesn’t comfort me all that much anymore Lils,” He tells her, Lily sighs and nods.

“Nor I.”

“Severus has been working as a spy within Voldemort’s ranks and reporting back to me for quite some time,” Albus tells them, Moody hrumphs. He had made it clear very early on his thoughts on spies.  Mainly because he and Remus were having an argument about Remus’ Death Eater friends.  It had been amusing, no one besides Molly Weasley had ever taken Mad-Eye to task like that, but no one questions Remus Lupin’s loyalties and gets away with it, as Sirius well remembers.

_If you ever call me a traitor again, you_ _’_ _d better have some damned good proof._

“All right, you said you’d come to tell us other things as well,” Fabian reminds Albus who nods.

“Voldemort knows who Harry’s parents really are,” Dumbledore tells them, Lily, James, Sirius, Alice, and Peter look at him in stunned disbelief.

“How?” They all ask at once, suddenly glad they could all be here.  They’d gotten Frank, Neville, Harry, Jamie, and Remus to stay in the library here at the Potter Estate.  Remus needed more material, there were kids books for the Tiny Marauders, and if something went wrong they could simply walk out and get one of them.

“We have a spy in our ranks,” He tells them, they look to one another.

“FRANK!” Alice calls out, two minutes later Frank walks out with the one of the two infants, “Grab Remus, and the other two.” Frank raises an eyebrow but walks back, walking in with a nervous Remus holding Neville tightly along with Jamie’s hand.

“What’s going on?” He asks as he guides Remus to the seat beside Sirius, one Fabian vacates to which Sirius smiles at him gratefully.  Remus hands Neville to Sirius before helping Jamie onto his lap where she sits, always happy to be with her Father again.

“The bastard knows about Harry,” Lily tells him, his eyes fall on Severus with a confused look, “Oh, also Dumbledore brought Sev who is working as a spy for us.”

“Neat, how does he know?” Frank asks, Alice sighs, rubbing at her temples.

“Apparently we have a spy here as well.” Frank frowns.

“Only ten people in the world know that truth, and one of them isn’t even in the damned war.” James nods, they all look at each other rather suspiciously.

“This fell apart quickly,” Marlene comments with a sigh, “So, you are telling me, that one of the people I have been very close friends with for eight and half years, is a spy and has told you-know-who about you-know-what?”

“That about sums it up,” Severus tells them quietly.

“And we’re _not_ supposed to immediately assume it’s Severus despite circumstances?” Peter asks, Severus glares at him.

“He wants James and Lily dead because they lied.”

“So it’s not Severus,” Peter declares, despite everything the others look amused.

“All right, let’s be reasonable, who’s been in a position where they may have let something slip accidentally?” Alice asks, they all think it over.

“Del said she’d seen Lucius in the Leaky Cauldron and they’d chatted for a bit, Remus was told by Severus during a failed escape attempt which leaves the rest of his time there with him knowing…That’s really all I can think of,” James admits, rubbing the back of his head.

“Del would never have let that slip, this ruse was her idea to begin with,” Sirius points out, the others nod, “That being said, find out exactly what happened.” James nods his agreement, “Remus…” Remus looks away from Jamie to look at Sirius, “I’m not saying you did it on purpose, but is there a chance at all that you told you-know-who about Harry?”  Remus looks fearful, biting his lip and thinking hard, clearly understanding the seriousness of the situation.  He shakes his head.

“I didn’t see him again after I killed the first one.”

“That was before the ill-fated escape attempt,” Severus tells them with a grimace.

“Yeah we heard how that ended,” James tells him, he fidgets awkwardly.

“That pretty much cancels out the possibility of it being an accident, doesn’t it?” Sturgis asks them, looking at them all warily, they all look around at each other in suspicion, all wanting to say it’s ridiculous but all knowing there is no other option.

“This is preposterous!” McGonagall tells them.  Severus just manages to stop himself from getting up and looking around wildly, realising he’s having another vision.  He tries to work out when it is, but the decoration of the Great Hall in Hogwarts looks the same as it did when he was in school.  He turns back to the occupants of the room as the argument continues.

“Is it Professor?  Because from what I’m seeing here, he’s manipulated Harry’s entire life.  Put him through trial after trial while making sure he remains firmly under his thumb.  Pushing him into a position to do whatever he asks of him, to what end, who knows?!  But it won’t be safe!  It won’t end well for Harry, and it won’t be a decision made with Harry’s well being in mind.  Nor a thought to the rest of us that will no doubt be right beside him!” A teenaged girl snaps.

“He’s who you’re researching,” Vision-Severus states, she nods anyway.  Present day-Severus looks at his future self in shock, he’d never had a vision from this perspective before.

“I want to know his motives for interfering in my friend’s life, and in mine.  I want to know why he never pushed for my Dad to get a fair trial, why he set a trap for Voldemort within a school, why he didn’t even try to help Remus keep his job.  I want to know why I grew up unloved and alone, why my brother grew up the same.  I want to know _why_.  Why did he make my life turn out this way?  Why doesn’t he care that it did?”

Severus blinks, clenching his fist slightly as he comes back to the room realising it’s been yet another vision of far in the future, and not a particularly happy one.  It leaves him with two rather pressing questions, who is ‘he’, and who was the girl?  Also, the slightly less pressing but still confounding question, who the hell thought making him a Professor in Hogwarts is a good idea?

“What do we do?” Alice asks, looking to Dumbledore who sighs, looking tired.

“We keep fighting, and we look for signs.  Whoever it is will make a mistake eventually.”

 

“Lil, switch secret keepers,” Sirius tells her, he’d left Remus with Marlene and Jamie, the latter now living with them as well.  He’s gotten Peter to agree to meet him at the Potters.

“What the hell are you talking about Black?” Lily asks, bewildered.

“I’ll be the first person they suspect.”

“James, get in here, he’s worrying me again!” She calls through the house, James walks in a moment later, carrying a cat, Lily’s face twitches, “What the hell is that Potter?”

“So, been meaning to tell you about something I did while you were gone.”

“WILL YOU STOP BRINGING RANDOM ANIMALS INTO THIS HOUSE?! IT’S BAD ENOUGH YOUR FRIENDS TURN UP RANDOMLY!”

“Hey, why the drive by?” Lily glares at Sirius before looking back at James who hands her the cat.

“Awh, it’s so fuzzy!” Lily declares, pressing her face into the cat’s fur, “You win this round Potter.”

“What’s going on?” James asks, just as Peter exits the floo.

“I want you to switch secret keepers to Peter, no one will expect it and when searching for it they’ll suspect me first.”

“Sirius…”

“And don’t tell the rest of the group about it.”

“SIRIUS!”

“Whether you want to admit it or not, one of us is a traitor and I don’t want Harry and Del at risk because of me.” The room goes silent, “Make Peter your secret keeper.”

Then Del walks in the room with Harry, now two months old.  Sirius smiles brightly despite the previous conversations.

“Ri, hey,” She greets, he walks over, instinctively taking the baby from her and hugging her briefly.

“Hey Lilah, how’s life?”

“Oh, you know, every day is an adventure.” He laughs and nods, Sirius seems nervous for a moment before he turns back to her.

“Hey, Del, I was thinking,” He takes a calming breath before continuing, “There’s this fair just outside of London.  I was wondering if you and Harry would like to come along, with me.” Del looks at him in fond amusement.

“Sirius Black, are you asking me on a date?  Plus Baby.”

“Well I’m hardly going to ask you to leave your son behind.” Del smiles brightly and nods.

“I would love to, and I’m quite certain Harry would love to see something outside of this house, but seeing as Tom knows about him now, I think he should probably stay behind,” She says, clearly unhappy with that but knowing it’s the best thing for her son.

“We’ll watch him, you two can go have some fun,” Lily offers, a little too quickly, James snickers, Sirius glares at him as Del laughs.

“We’ll talk about it with Dumbledore, then we’ll make a decision,” Peter suggests, clearly going back to the earlier topic, they all agree.

Dumbledore suggests against it, but in the end they go ahead with it without telling him.

 

16th October 1980

Two weeks later, Del and Sirius have already gone on three dates and are clearly well matched and happy.  As a result, Sirius, Remus, and Jamie have been spending more time at the Potters’ which has lead to Remus growing more comfortable around small groups of people so long as there is an acceptable amount of distance between he and anyone except Sirius or Alice.

It’s one such morning, Remus, Alice, Marlene, Frank, Lily, James, Jamie, Neville, and Harry are watching Bambi for what must be the fiftieth damned time.  Lily hugging James closely when Bambi’s mother dies, James cries every time, when there’s a knock on the door.  Everyone with wands pulls their wands out, Remus grabbing hold of Neville and Harry protectively, Jamie already on his lap, as Lily goes to answer the door.  Instead of attacking or being attacked, Lily smiles widely and hugs the visitor.  When Lily pulls him in and shuts the door, they all understand why, because Severus Snape is standing before them.  Only something is wrong, because he’s never looked so defeated in his life.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go,” He tells them, James gestures for him to have a seat which he takes.

“What happened?” Lily asks, Severus rubs a hand over his face before looking around.

“Is Sirius here?” James shakes his head.

“He and Del went out for breakfast.”

“Regulus is dead.”

“What?!” Everyone asks, Remus looking up in alarm.

“He said he’d discovered something, some key to destroying you-know-who.  I told him to be careful, begged him to include me but…Kreacher came and told me this morning.  He’s dead.”

“But, I thought he can’t kill him?  Your deal.”

“He couldn’t, but as I told Reg, there is more danger in the world than just you-know-who and his followers.  He died trying to stop him though, he tried to do the right thing.” Lily hugs him close, he buries his face in her shoulder while he breaks down, mourning the loss of one he loved dearly.

When Del and Sirius get back, Marlene and Remus have returned home with Jamie because Remus didn’t think him panicking when Sirius is told will help Sirius at all.

“Hey gu…Sev?” Sirius asks as he and Del walk in, Severus looks up at him, one glance of his despondent expression and Sirius knows, he just _knows_ , “Someone say it, please,” He requests, tears already falling.

“Regulus died defying Voldemort.”

Not for the first time in his life, Sirius Black wondered what they were fighting for, considered giving up hope, calling it a day and never getting out of bed for the next.  But Regulus died defying Voldemort, Sirius could not let that have been in vain.

“He needs to be stopped.”

 

19th October 1980

Three days later there’s an Order meeting, the first one Remus attends with the intention of actually attending.

They’d gotten Drom to watch the kids after Del had spent most of the morning throwing up.  Nymphadora’s quite excited when Sirius and Remus turn up to drop the kids off.  Well, it’s not so much dropping them off as walking into another room.  Dumbledore had asked Andromeda and Ted to look after some of the children he considered at ‘high-risk of targeting’.  Muggle-borns, children of muggle-borns, and the like.  James had offered the use of his Family’s mansion as soon as it became legally his, but it had not been a viable option until very recently due to him needing to sort through his parents’ things.  Now the house had a dozen children, Ted, Andromeda, and a few house-elves as permanent residents.  The couple also watched the Weasley kids when necessary, and now the three Tiny Marauders during Order meetings.  The meetings held in the formal dining room, doors charmed to ensure no curious children get in.

“Re-Re!” A six-year-old yells as she runs down the hallway.

“Dora!” Remus says happily as he drops to his knees, embracing the small child with one arm, Harry in the other, and Jamie standing beside him.  He always copes better with things when he’s holding one of the Tiny Marauders.

“Sirius, Remus!” Andromeda greets happily, she’d been warned not to call Remus ‘Remy’ unless she wants to set off an intense panic attack.  Sirius gives her a one-armed hug as they both watch Remus listening with rapt attention as Dora explains a random event that occurred three days before and no one else had thought about since.

“And the doggy sneezed, and Mummy said BLESS YOU!” The girl explains.

“Oh did she? That was nice of her.”

“Yeah,” Dora agrees, nodding her head.

“He seems…off,” She says delicately, Sirius sighs.

“He’s a hell of a lot better than he was but…” He trails off, she nods.

“Give him time, and give me the baby.”

“This is Neville, Alice and Frank’s boy,” Sirius says with a chuckle, handing Neville over, “We’d better be off.”

“Charlie!” Andromeda calls as she spots the second eldest Weasley boy, “Can I get you to hold Neville while I grab Harry?  We just need to take them into the nursery.”

“Okay,” Charlie replies with a smile, “Hello Sirius.”

“Hey Charlie, how’re your brothers?” Charlie scrunches up his nose.

“Ron cries a lot.”

“He’s a baby Charlie, they all do,” Andromeda reminds him with an indulgent smile.

“This one isn’t,” Charlie points out as he carefully takes Neville from his care-taker.

“He will eventually.”

“But Ron cries _always_ ,” The seven-year-old insists, Andromeda sighs fondly.

“Hey Moony, we gotta get in there,” Sirius tells Remus who looks up and nods.

“Can I come too?” Dora asks, Remus shakes his head.

“No Dora, but I’ll come see you afterwards,” He promises, Dora looks like she’s about to cry, “We’ll do some drawing?” She smiles brightly and nods, “Hi Dromeda,” Remus says as he gets up and walks over, more unsure of himself than Drom has ever seen him, and she’s seen him in some dire-straits.

“Hey Remus, you ready for me to take what I assume is Harry?” Remus nods, handing him over a tad hesitantly, “Hello there Harry, you look so much like your father.” Sirius and Remus exchange pained looks at that and quickly leave her to it.

“Dora, this is my daughter, your cousin, Jamie, Jamie this is your cousin Dora,” Remus introduces.

“Hi Jamie,” Dora says excitedly, Jamie giggles.

“Hi.”

“Do you think you can look after Jamie for me for a while Dora?”  Dora nods, taking Jamie’s hand.

“Come on Jamie, I’ll show you my dollies.”  With that, the girls are off, not a second glance behind them.

 

“WE CAN’T JUST WAIT AROUND WHILE WE’RE PICKED OFF ONE BY ONE!” Fabian yells, Gideon grabs his brother by the shoulder and pulls him back into his seat where he crosses his arms and stews in his apparent anger.

“Nice of you two to join us,” Lily drawls, Sirius raises an eyebrow and her expression softens.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asks as he and Remus take a seat, Remus hunching over anxiously.

“Caradoc is missing,” Sturgis explains, frowning.  Everyone knows they had been roommates for many years and close friends even longer.

“His cover was blown?” Sirius asks, they nod.

“We think…well no, we know it had to have been the spy,” Emmeline tells them, the group regards each other warily again.

“At least now we know for certain that it isn’t Frank or Alice,” Lily points out, the two had been on a mission for two days and hadn’t even known about Caradoc’s positioning.

“Much as it’s nice to know I can trust them, it’s not really making me feel better when it’s just increasing suspicion on all of you,” Peter comments sadly, Marlene frowns.

“All of us?  What about you?”

“Well I _know_ it’s not me.”

“But we don’t!”

“This isn’t going to get us anywhere,” Remus tells them quietly, they both shut up, sitting back in their seats.

“You seem to always work things out, do you know who it is?  Or suspect?” Arthur asks him, Remus shrugs.

“Lily and James aren’t going to have put Harry in danger.”

“Obviously,” Molly agrees, Remus nods.

“That’s the first bit of information we’re sure the spy gave out.  Harry’s true parentage, therefore, it’s not them.  Marlene wasn’t here when Caradoc was sent out, and she wasn’t there when Sirius told me about it.  So unless someone else mentioned it, it can’t have been her.”  Everyone shakes their heads, “It’s not Severus because the entire reason he joined our side was to protect Harry and Lily, all the actions the spy has taken since then would be extremely counter-productive.”

“With Alice and Frank out of the equation, that leaves…you, Sirius, and Peter, right?” Marlene asks, Remus thinks it over and then nods.  Everyone looks between the three of them, the three looking at each other as well.

“Marauders first my fucking arse,” James spits angrily before stalking out of the room.

Remus will think on this quite a lot over the course of his life, of what it was like looking at two of his best friends and knowing one of them is a traitor, yet at this moment all he could really think is, one of them is looking at me and thinking the same thing.

A moment later James comes back in, which no one was expecting, and sits back down.

“We’re wizards, and witches, there are ways that this could be against their will, right?  I mean, they could be imperio’d, right?”

“So could any of us,” Moody grumbles, they all look around the room suspiciously again.

“Thanks for that Alastor,” Marlene mutters, Sirius and Severus both look at each other before looking back to Remus who looks shiftily at both of them.  All three of them having a silent debate.

“Do you people realise how suspicious you look right now?” Fabian asks, Remus nods at the other two.

“Not all of us could be imperio’d.  The Imperius Curse doesn’t work on Remus,” Sirius tells them, they all look nonplussed.

“What do you mean it doesn’t work?” Marlene asks, Remus shrugs.

“It just doesn’t.”

“He’s been known to, completely unknowingly, control other people or creatures too.  He never actually casts a spell, but he’ll ask or tell someone to do something, and their eyes flash yellow and they do it.  Only lasts a second before they realise though,” Severus explains, everyone looks to Remus who shrinks in on himself.

“If you know it won’t work, I suppose you wouldn’t mind if one of us tested that, right?” Moody asks, Molly gasps.

“That is illegal and extremely unethical!”

“It’s not illegal,” Remus tells them, Moody nods.

“Can’t cast it on another human being.”

“And?” Arthur asks, Remus responds instead of Moody.

“I’m not considered human in the eyes of the law.” The room goes silent as the implications of that settle in.

“It’s still unethical,” Molly complains, unsure how to deal with the other point.

“Not if it won’t work,” Moody tells her, Remus sighs, standing up and facing Moody.

“You do it, you’re going to understand how these things work better than the others.”  Moody stands up, raising his wand.

“ _Imperio_.” The curse hits him, he doesn’t bother to catch it in his hand this time, it’s absorbed into him.  His eyes flash yellow for a moment before it fades away, “Stand on your chair,” Moody orders, Remus doesn’t move.

“See?  Doesn’t work.”

“Remarkable,” Albus comments, “Why haven’t you mentioned this before?”

“To you?” Remus asks him, an annoyed look on his face, Albus nods.

“Fair enough I suppose.”

“Why don’t you two get along?  I mean, at first I thought Remus just hated you for some stupid schoolboy reason, but you genuinely don’t get along with him either,” Edgar Bones questions.

“An old difference of opinion in what constitutes ethical that seems to keep coming up,” Albus explains.

“They both think the other is a dick,” Sirius tells the others, neither deny it.  Moody can’t help but think this is good, because the rivalry has not gotten in the way, but just showing the others that even Albus Dumbledore can have grudges will stop them thinking he’s invincible.

“Maybe you’ve got a natural resistance of some kind and it just takes a few tries?”  Dorcas suggests, Remus raises an eyebrow at her.

“Well we aren’t finding out.”  Everyone’s a little surprised by the change in attitude, actually very surprised, except Severus who remembers how he’d acted after it was cast on him in the DADA lesson he stopped from happening.

“He also acts weird afterwards.”

“I do?” Remus asks.

“You did,” Severus replies with a significant look that has Remus nodding, “And you are.”

“In any case, given the current state of things, I’d rather not have this group aware of a possible weakness in my mind.”

“Given the current state of things, knowing you _have_ a weakness would make us feel better,” Benjy comments.

“Peter Pettigrew has been my best friend for many years, he’d never betray us.  Sirius Black is…well he’s Sirius Black and he’d never turn on me either, but one of them apparently has.  So I’m not in an especially trusting mood.”

“Sirius would never turn on _you_?” James asks him innocently, Remus looks at him in confusion.

“He’d never turn on any of us Prongs, why would I have meant me specifically?” James sighs, shaking his head.

“You wouldn’t have.”

“My point is, two people I thought would never be a traitor have a fifty/fifty chance of being one.  At least to me, to you guys I guess it’s one in three.”

“You think I’d never betray you?  Even after the Severus incident?” Sirius asks, sounding rather hopeful.

“Which I am still pissed about by the way,” Severus tells him, Sirius rolls his eyes.

“Yes, I know, however, I’m still pissed you joined Voldemort.” Severus rolls his eyes, Sturgis sighs.

“We are what stands between you-know-who and the destruction of our world, and a bunch of us are still teenagers, or acting like it.”

“Yes, Padfoot, I still believe that.  Which is what makes this all so unbelievable, because I think that of both of you.”

“Yeah, I never thought Peter would turn on us and you…” Sirius trails off, Remus crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at him.

“Me what?” He asks, then something seems to shift in him and he sits back down in his seat quietly.

“Well, on the upside the weirdness from the spell appears to have worn off,” Severus comments, mainly so that the others know what just happened.

“You’d turn on all of us if it helped you reach your goal, if you really thought it was worth it.  If your goal was you-know-who’s then…” Sirius stops talking, Peter grimaces.

“Not to mention you’ve spent years hanging out with Death Eaters.”

“And there was the time Lily and I saw you and some Slytherins in the library, Lucius said they were trying to convince you blood purity was legitimate and got concerned when they seemed to be succeeding,” James adds.

“Plus, you spent nearly a year in their company.  Torture does a lot of things to people, a change in allegiances can be one of them,” Elphius points out.  Remus looks around the room, it was pretty clear who they believed to be the traitor now, he opens his mouth to protest when Severus speaks up.

“He was curious about you, from the moment I mentioned your name.” Remus sighs, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs.

“I’m going to have to find the traitor to prove it isn’t me, aren’t I?”

“Well, if it isn’t you, we should probably find whoever it _is_ anyway,” Gideon tells them, everyone agrees.

“But we can’t allow one of our suspects to handle the investigation, they could flub the results,” Fabian points out.

“Yes, but we also have to be careful of what we tell those three now,” Gideon reminds his brother.  Everyone goes quiet as they think, then Remus tilts his head to the side before speaking up.

“So put all three of us on the case,” He suggests quietly, still in a ball, “Two of us are innocent, they’ll make sure nothing is tampered with, and if we’re doing that, we don’t need to know the life or death information that we can’t risk the other side getting.  None of you have to worry about finding the spy, because you’ll have two people looking into it, and the third is out of the way.”

“Much as I approve of this plan, I have another task I’d like you to do Remus,” Albus tells him despite everyone agreeing to the plan.

“Which is?”  He asks nervously.

“The Werewolves are joining his side in frightening numbers.  I’d like you to try and talk them out of it.” Remus bites his lip for a moment.

“That…isn’t exactly going to work well.”

“Why?” James asks, Remus sighs, hugging his legs tighter.

“I went to Hogwarts, I live with a witch and a wizard, I may not have a wand but I’m still a wizard.”

“What’s wrong with being a wizard?  And what happened to your wand?” Dedalus Diggle asks.

“My wand disintegrated,” He says dismissively, “Werewolves hate wizards, if it weren’t for-for the individual he has trying to convince them, I doubt they’d ever have even joined _him_.”

“What individual?” Elphius asks.

“Fenrir Greyback,” Severus replies, “I’m sure most of you are aware that he’s known for targeting children.  He’d had hopes of creating an army by doing this, now he’s rounding up his troops to send them in to war.  The more he gets on his side, the more outside of those he turned are willing to join.”

“Wouldn’t he being the one who turned them put them off joining him?” Molly asks, bewildered.

“Not every Werewolf hates what they are,” Remus tells them, “Werewolves are also pack animals, there’s a lot of instinct around that, the one who turned you becomes sort of…your father, I guess.  The one who made you, it’s instinct to join them.” Everyone looks at him warily, he sighs, “It’s like every word that comes out of my mouth paints a bigger target on my back.”

“You wouldn’t join him if he offered?”

“He did offer, I turned him down, he tried to get someone to torture me.”

“Tried?” Dorcas asks, Severus snickers, trying not to laugh, “What in Merlin’s name could you be laughing about right now?” He laughs.

“I’m sorry, I just, you have no idea how much that annoyed him.  Three of his best interrogators refused to even step into the same room as you, let alone actually question you, and he just had no idea what was going on,” Severus explains, still laughing, “He was so annoyed when he came to ask me about it.  Said it was just insulting that they were more afraid of you than of him.”  Those that went to school with him are all in varying states of amusement at that, Remus isn’t.

“In any case, unlike most Werewolves, I have a pack with people that aren’t Werewolves.  The instinct to join him and the wolves is there but the instinct to protect my pack will always be stronger.”

“How can you have a pack that isn’t wolves?”

“The wolf trusts them, considers them pack, that’s all there is to it really.”  Remus starts growing twitchier under everyone’s gazes, especially given the topic, so Sirius decides to change the subject slightly, or planned to, but Dumbledore gets in the way.

“How does he target the children?  Or you.  I’ve often wondered, he can’t control the wolf, so how?” Albus asks, Remus makes himself as small as possible.

“W-With me he-he was um, already there, when the moon went up.  He’d been hiding under my bed.” The room looks distinctly uncomfortable at that, he moves on quickly, “As for the targeting, it’s, um, complicated,” He finishes lamely, wincing at his own words.

“I think maybe we can discuss this later,” Sirius declares, everyone agrees.  No one wants to see Remus the same way they had that first day back.

“Then I think, for now, you three working on the spy is a good idea.”


	39. Here We Go Again

 

Chapter 39

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

20th October 1980

Sirius wakes up in the middle of the night, the night after the Order meeting, and finds Remus sitting at the kitchen bench.

“So we’re doing this again, are we?” He asks, seeing the half empty whiskey bottle in front of Remus, Remus huffs in some kind of mix between amusement and irritation with a touch of exasperation thrown in.

“Apparently so,” Remus replies, Sirius takes a seat beside him.

“Want to tell me what brought this on?” Sirius asks as he grabs two glasses and pours a sizable amount of alcohol into both, Remus sighs as he takes his from Sirius.

“I’m so sick of being useless, and afraid.  Ever since I got back I just,” He freezes up for a moment before taking a gulp of his drink, “It helped before, when things were like this.  I thought it might again.”

“And is it?” Remus holds a hand out in front of Sirius who is confused at first, then he realises, “Your tremors are gone,” He states uselessly, Remus nods.

“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not, we need to get through this damned war, I need to get through it.” Sirius sighs, shaking his head before turning to look at his friend, tears in his eyes.

“So I’m supposed to just watch you drink yourself into an early grave?” Remus chuckles darkly.

“Sirius, I think me drinking to cope with things is sort of low on the list of things that will land me in an early grave at this point.”

“I can’t lose you Remus.”

“Thought you think I’m the traitor,” Remus says, Sirius is surprised by how bitter it sounds, given Remus had always excelled at not taking things personally.  He knows it’s just war, but perhaps, for once, Remus is seeing his friendships before soldiers.  It concerns Sirius, really, that his year in Bellatrix’s company seems to have utterly destroyed a key part of who he is.  He sighs and shakes his head.

“We both know I can’t be certain you aren’t.  But I don’t think you’re the traitor,” He tells him, Remus looks at him in surprise, “I can’t reconcile with myself that it’s Peter, but I don’t believe it’s you.  You launched yourself in front of an Imperius curse, not knowing it wouldn’t work on you, to save me from it.  I’ve watched you save everyone time and time again, I don’t believe you would turn on us, not for a moment.  If it would win us the war, maybe, but you’d never follow his vision.  People compare you to Voldemort because of your willingness to do anything to reach your goal, but the difference that makes _all_ the difference is that your goal will always be to protect people, and that will never be his.” Remus smiles wetly, leaning his head on Sirius’ shoulder.

“I don’t think you’re the traitor either Pads.  I may not remember it, but you jumped off the astronomy tower, knowing the chances of us surviving were slim to none.  You may have made some mistakes in the past but I trust you more than anyone, you wouldn’t betray me.  You definitely would never betray James, and you love Del more than you’ve ever loved anyone.” Sirius holds back the protest at that, “Harry is like a son to you, we’re all your family, you more than anyone knows how precious that is.  You wouldn’t throw that away.”

“The problem now is, that leaves Peter.  I don’t know about you, but I can’t see Petey doing this,” He tells him, Remus is less certain but nods.

“I’ve been thinking about that, which is actually what lead me here,” Remus says, gesturing to the bottle, “We may be wrong.  Yes, only ten people that we know about knew about Harry.  But then there’s hospital staff, there’s records that yes, are private, but could be accessed through other means.  I can’t think why someone would be looking into the child of James and Lily Potter for him, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t.”

“Which means everyone in the Order, save for James, Lily, Marlene, Frank, Alice, and Severus are a suspect.  They are the ones we discounted before.” Remus nods, Sirius bounces his leg up and down as he thinks, “We shouldn’t mention this to anyone, or our belief that both of us are innocent.  If they know we are onto them it may make it harder to catch them.  Besides, it’s still more likely to be Peter, much as I hate to admit it.”

“How do we find out for sure?” Remus asks, Sirius frowns, thinking.

“I don’t know Rem, you aim the gun, I’ll pull the trigger, that’s how this has always worked.” Remus refills his glass before he gets up and starts pacing as he drinks.

“We need to get off everyone’s radar.  Put the focus on one of us, the other watches them closely, in case they slip up.  Okay, logically speaking, it’s easiest to blame me right now.  So, we make them think I’m doing it, you keep an eye on what information everyone is being given and what’s going out, I can look into everyone while I pretend to look into you and Pete in trying to prove I’m not the traitor.” Sirius nods, frowning as he thinks it through.

“So everyone will be focused on you, with them not suspecting me, I’ll be free to notice who has what information and what’s given away, meanwhile you’ll be looking into the people themselves?” Remus nods.

“Feel free to look into me too if it makes you feel better,” Remus adds, Sirius nods slightly.

“Likewise.”

Neither of them do.

 

23rd October 1980

“Hey Angel,” Sirius greets as he walks through the floo and into the Potter residence, immediately kissing his girlfriend.

“Hey Pookums.”

“I hate you so much,” Sirius tells her, she knows how stupid that makes him sound, she grins.

“Love you too, Boo.”

“How are you feeling?” Del sighs, taking Sirius hand and walking him to the couch where James and Lily are pretending not to be laughing at their adorableness, Harry playing with his toys on the floor in front of them

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you three about,” She tells them nervously, ringing her hands.

“Is everything okay?” James asks, instantly worried, as are the other two.

“I um…I’m pregnant.” All three stare at her for a moment before Lily and James both look at Sirius who continues staring before taking a deep breath and asking a question that confuses the other two.

“Who’s the father?” Del scratches her head awkwardly.

“Sirius, I promise, I did _not_ cheat on you,” She tells him, he smiles and nods, getting up and hugging her.

“Didn’t even cross my mind Angel, we’ve only been together three weeks, I assumed it was before then.” Del smiles at him and nods.

“You guys remember that time I said I ran into Lucius Malfoy at the Leaky Cauldron?” Lily facepalms while James nods for a second before it clicks.

“WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND SLEEPING WITH LUCIUS MALFOY?!” James yells, Harry cries.  Sirius picks him up, shushing him and bouncing him until he calms again.

“Does he know?” Lily asks, Del shakes her head.

“No, and, not to sound like a broken record, I’m not sure it’s safe for him to.  Not just because he’s a Death Eater but if Tom finds out he slept with me it…probably won’t go down well.  He’s got a jealous streak a mile wide.”

“He never did with me,” Sirius says, Del shrugs.

“You convinced me to ask him out, I guess he figured there was no competition there.”

“It’s not a competition Del, it was only ever about you being happy, regardless of who that was with.” Lily sighs, looking at him with a falsely dreamy smile.

“I think I married the wrong Marauder.” James looks affronted while Sirius pretends to throw up.  The four of them laugh together before Del turns back to Sirius.

“Sirius, we didn’t know about this when we started dating, and it’s only been three weeks, so if…”

“I’m not leaving you because of this Del.  If I didn’t want a relationship because of children, Harry would have stopped me.  I love you, I love Harry, and I’ll love this little one too.  So unless you want to end it, which I will understand, shift in priorities and all –”

“No, I don’t want to end it.” Sirius smiles at Del who smiles back, they kiss briefly.

“Can we have a discussion about birth control please?” James suddenly asks, Del sighs, facepalming.

 

30th October 1980

“REMUS!” Hope calls happily as she walks into her living room, she’d been worried her Son would cancel their plans to have him over for dinner, again.

“H-Hi Mum,” Remus replies with a forced smile, stiffening and trying not to pull away violently when she hugs him.  Sirius had offered to come with him but he’d insisted he would be fine, he’s beginning to think he was wrong.

“Ah and there’s my Grand-Daughter, Hi Jamie!” Hope says, 2 and a half-year-old Jamie curls into her Dad’s side more closely, “Come on, your Father and Sister will be so happy to see you.”  Given everything, she’s not all that surprised that Jamie doesn’t like being separated from Remus, she leads him into the dining room without comment where Lyall and Phia are sat at the dining room table talking about her book.

“Heya Brother, long time no see,” Phia greets, getting up to hug him.

“Phia, hi.” He takes some deep breaths, trying to remain calm as he starts tugging on the sleeve of his shirt.  There’s an awkward silence before Lyall clears his throat.

“Shall we have a seat?” They all take a seat, Lyall going to the kitchen and grabbing the food.  Jamie refuses to sit in her own seat, deciding to sit on Remus’ lap and only eat if the food comes from his plate.  He has no idea why that last one, but kids are weird sometimes.

“So how’s things going?” Hope asks Remus who takes a breath.

“Um, Del’s pregnant.”

“Oh how wonderful, who’s the lucky lad?” Hope asks, Remus chews on his lip.

“It’s complicated but they uh, they aren’t together.  Actually, she and Sirius are going steady.”

“Wow, really?” Phia asks, “Never thought that guy would catch a break in that department.”  Remus didn’t crack any jokes, nor defend his friend, the only two things they expected from him, “What have you been doing, besides, you know.” Phia trails off awkwardly, none of them had wanted to talk about the war.  Usually they avoid the topic of war, but they hadn’t spoken to someone actually fighting in it yet.  Except Phia’s daily owling with James but they never ran out of things to say.

“There’s not really much time for anything else,” Remus admits sadly, “But the group gets together a lot to play with Jamie, Harry and Neville.  Usually watch _Bambi_ as well, pretty sure I could quote that entire movie by heart now.  Severus keeps laughing at James because he cries every time.”

“You’re all speaking to Severus again?  I can never keep up,” Lyall tells him, suddenly he feels like he’s in high school again and laughs.

“Oh, you know us.”

“What is it you all used to say?” Lyall asks.

“Always waiting,” Hope tells him, Lyall nods, Remus smiles a bit before it falls.  If the spy _is_ Peter, will they still be waiting?  Will they be able to forgive him?  He wants to say yes but, he endangered Harry, they still don’t know what happened to Caradoc.  These aren’t high school things anymore, not that those high school things weren’t literally life or death given the several murder attempts and the battle in the forest, but it’s different now.  Remus just doesn’t know anymore.

“Regulus died,” He tells them, Lyall and Hope gasp but Phia seemed to already know.

“My god what happened?” His Mother asks, Remus’ shoulder’s slump.

“He tried to do the right thing.”

“Would anyone like some tea?”  They all accept, Remus tries to think of something to say.

“How have you been, Jamie?” Phia asks, the girl looks at her.

“Good.”

“That’s good, do anything interesting?”

“Dora bit Char-Charlie and then Charlie cried and then and then then Fred cried and Bill laugh-ghed and Percy tolded on Dora.”

“Wow, really?” Jamie nods, Phia smiles brightly at her, Jamie grins in return.

“How did the book go?” Remus asks his sister, Phia smiles.

“It’s selling, I um, I’m actually thinking of moving out soon.  I may not be able to afford a manor like yours but, my own space would be nice.” Remus flinches as he tries to cut his steak, thankfully missing his finger.

“I-I don’t live in the…there anymore.  We live with Sirius and Marlene in Sirius’ place.”

“Oh?  What happened to Bellatrix?” Lyall asks in concern, Phia looks panicked, James had told her what happened to Bellatrix.  She grabs Jamie from Remus’ lap just before things go bad.

“I-uh-it-um,” Remus stutters, not even noticing his daughter being taken from his grip.

_Such pretty screams_ _…_

_…_ _Oh my precious toy, how should I make you bleed today? You_ _’_ _re so pretty when you bleed_ _…_

_…_ _You could join us, we could make people bleed together_

“Remus?” He blinks, there’s a face right in his, he flinches back and away, but apparently he was already at the wall.

“NO, NO I DON’T WANT TO, STOP IT, PLEASE!”

“You’re okay Moony, just focus on me, you’re safe, I promise, I’ve got you, you’re okay.” Remus focuses on Sirius, actually seeing him this time and breathes hard.

“Padfoot?” His voice is croaking, he’s been screaming for a while.  Sirius strokes a hand through his hair.

“Yeah Moons?” Remus curls into his friend’s chest, sobbing violently.  Sirius holds him close, rubbing his back and whispering comforting things into his hair.

“What happened to him?  What happened to my boy?” Lyall asks desperately, Sirius looks at the heartbroken family and utters the only answer he can really think of.

“War.”

 

The five of them sit in the living room drinking tea, though Remus would much prefer a different beverage, in silence as Remus calms down.  He’s still buried in Sirius’ side and shaking too violently to actually drink his tea, but he’s no longer shouting at things that aren’t there, so that’s a plus side.

“Not that I’m not glad you showed up when you did but uh, what were you doing here?” Phia asks Sirius, Remus shifting slightly to pay attention, he hadn’t really questioned Sirius’ presence, just being glad he was there.  When Sirius arrived, he’d heard the screaming and crying and rushed into the room, Jamie had broken from Phia’s grip and run over to him shrieking ‘UNCA PADFOOT DADDY’S SCARED!’  The noise had, of course, frightened Remus even more, but at least she knew to get help if he gets like that.

“Del and I had just gotten back from an appointment with her Healer, Dumbledore came by with some news.”  The look on his face told him so very much.

“Who?” Remus asks in a quiet voice, Sirius’ eyes fill with tears that quickly fall.

“Marlene.”

“W-What happened?” Phia asks him, looking away from Jamie who is on the floor in between the couches playing with a toy rhinoceros, or as she calls it, a rhino-saurus, Remus freezes, staring at Sirius’ face.

“Blasting Curse hit our house while she was inside it,” He tells them, “There-There’s more.”

“Sort of assumed there would be,” Remus mutters, tears falling at last as he buries his head into Sirius again, Sirius immediately pulling him closer.

“Lily and James went to tell her family, they’re all dead too.”

“Blasting charm?” Lyall asks, Sirius nods, “Cowards.”  Sirius nods to that as well.  Hope and Phia don’t really understand what they mean, but to any wizard such a kill is nothing but cowardice.

“How did they even know where you three live?  Or, lived…” Phia asks, trailing off, tears falling freely.

“There’s a spy in our ranks, we’re working on finding them.  There’s a meeting being called but if you want to stay with Drom I –”

“No, let’s just go.  I um, I’m sorry about…” Remus tells them, not finishing his sentence, Hope shakes her head.

“You’ve no need to be sorry.  You two go, take care of this.  We’ll be here whenever you need us Remus, always.” Remus nods, Hope wants to hold her clearly miserable Son, to pull him close and never let go, but she knows it will only make things worse, and it kills her.

 

“There you two are…please tell me we haven’t lost anyone else,” Lily pleads when she sees Remus worse off than he has been in a while, which could have been because of Marlene but, Lily doesn’t think so.  Remus stands at the doorway, watching Dora and Jamie walk off, hand in hand, before he comes properly into the room.

“Marlene isn’t enough?” Sirius asks, Lily looks affronted but Sirius backtracks before she can speak, “I’m sorry, I know you didn’t mean it like that.”  He grabs the brandy bottle in the cupboard and one of the glasses, pouring some into it and enchanting it to refill itself before handing it over to Remus who takes a large gulp and immediately feels slightly better after the earlier panic attack.  It’s this that makes him question whether he is an actual alcoholic now, because it won’t have started to affect him yet, which means this feeling of better must be a result of the simple act of drinking.  _Why is this my focus right now?_ He asks himself.

“Thought we’d gotten him out of that habit at long last?” James asks, Sirius shakes his head with a sigh as he sits down as well.

“She got him out of it, seems only fair she puts him back in it.” James just collapses into his damned chair.

“Habit?” Albus asks, apparently having arrived at some point, James, Lily, Alice, Frank, Sirius, and Peter all exchange looks, feeling like students caught out of bed.

“Yeah okay, he’s straight up been an alcoholic since he was fourteen.”

“I was not an alcoholic, how many times do we have to have that conversation?” Remus asks quietly but harshly, apparently doing better than he was.  Not on Marlene’s death, or her family’s, but general stableness.

“Questionable drink consumption aside, we have more news.  Edgar and his family were killed yesterday, I only heard about it today.  Killing curse on all of them,” Albus tells them, Severus walks in a moment later looking rather…pale, “Severus?”

“Sir?”

“Are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine.  Why was this called on such short notice?” He asks, Dumbledore had insisted he be here.

“The McKinnons were murdered, as were the Bones’.” Severus sits, dumbstruck.

“I see,” He replies eventually, “’Spose it’s been that sort of day,” He says under his breath.

“What do you mean?” Dorcas asks quietly, it seemed everyone was too afraid to break the atmosphere by speaking loudly.

“Raymond Zabini is dead.” Remus looks up.

“What happened to Ray?”

“He died under very suspicious circumstances, we’re pretty sure his wife killed him, proving it is another matter.  It’s sadly not exactly at the top of our list of priorities.”

“Our?” James asks.

“Lucius and me.  What happened to Marls?” Severus asks, finally regaining some colour in his cheeks.

“Blasting curse hit our house,” Sirius tells him, Severus looks at he and Remus in concern, “Neither of us were home, nor was Jamie.”

“Question is, was that part of the plan or sheer dumb luck?” Emmeline asks, Sirius and Remus look at each other, neither knowing how to respond.  Remus decides to just drink in silence until he’s needed.

“Have either of you worked out where you’re going to live?” Kingsley asks them, James and Lily immediately glance at each other and nod.

“You can both stay with us, for however long you need,” James tells them, Alice nods.

“Or us.”

“If you’re sure it’s not a problem Prongs, Lily, I wouldn’t mind being closer to Del,” Sirius replies, they both nod.

“Of course, Remus?”  Remus shakes his head.

“My Aunt had a house, went to my Mother after she died.  No one’s ever done anything with it, but we still own it.  Think I might try living on my own, well, with Jamie of course.”

“Remus, sidebar?” Sirius asks, Remus sighs but walks over to the corner.  A harried conversation later the two return to the table, “Plans as previously stated,” Sirius says though he doesn’t look particularly thrilled about it.

 

1st February 1981

“Are you two sure you’ll be okay watching Harry, Jamie, and Neville?” Del asks Remus and Severus.  Alice and Frank, Lily and James, and Del and Sirius decided to go on a triple date, Lily having found out none of the others had ever even heard of bowling before.

“We’ll be fine, go have fun,” Severus tells them.

“Don’t burn down the house while we’re gone,” James tells Remus with a stern look, Remus huffs slightly, “I mean it Moony.”

“All right, say bye bye Harry, they’re going,” Remus instructs the boy in his arms, making the six-month-old wave his hand, Harry giggles.

 

“So, Del and Sirius asked me to be the baby’s god-father, alongside you of course,” Severus tells him, Remus nods.

“That’ll be two god-children we have in common then.”

“They also asked me to be Harry’s god-father now that Sirius is really more of an actual parent, both said that should things be as they were, Tom would have wanted it that way,” He adds, Remus smiles.

“He did have a profound respect for you.”  Severus sighs.

“I miss him, I miss all of them.”

“Me too.”

“Bammmmmmbeh.” Remus and Severus freeze, both look slowly down to Harry who is looking between them.

“What did you say, Harry?” Remus asks, the boy looks at the television expectantly.

“Did he say Bambi?”

“Yeah,” Jamie replies, Severus and Remus exchange amused looks at that.

“Bambeh,” The toddler says, Remus and Severus share a look of unabashed delight.  He points at the tv which turns on, the disc had still been in the player from last time, so after being turned on, all that Severus and Remus had to do is press play.  Except, as impressive as it was, magic and electricity don’t mix.  While Severus and Remus are staring, dumbstruck, at the television, it catches on fire.

“Oh dear, oh no,” Remus says, looking around wildly, “WHY IS THERE NO FIRE EXTINGUISHER?!”  Jamie screams in fright, tugging Neville away from the fire and throwing herself over him once they were safely away.

“Are you a wizard or not?” Severus asks, grabbing the cat as it runs past, “Vera Verto,” He says, tapping the cat three times and turning it into a water chalice, “Aguamenti,” he casts, he then pours the water in the chalice onto the television before refilling the chalice and doing it again.

“OH FOR MERLIN’S SAKE JUST CAST IT STRAIGHT OUT OF YOUR WAND, YOU DOLT!” Remus directs as he pulls Jamie off of Neville, lifting the baby up in one arm, grabbing Harry with the other and pulling Jamie behind him and away from the fire, unsure how he managed it all with only two arms.  Severus rolls his eyes as he follows the instruction, successfully putting out the fire, “Why did you try the cat chalice first?”

“I WAS _TRYING_ , TO SAVE THE DRAPES*!”

“Um…” Both men turn around to see the three couples have returned.  They look at themselves, one wet from backsplash of the spell and holding a chalice that is actually a cat, one holding two of the children, the third holding onto his leg for dear life, the television burnt, and the wall, curtains, and window behind it a sogging mess.

“Where’s the cat?” Sirius asks, it usually walks up to see them whenever someone comes home.  Severus sheepishly puts the chalice on the ground and reverses the spell.

 

“We’re gone for three hours and you set the tv on fire, you turn the cat into a water chalice, and you drown the front room,” Lily begins, gearing up for a long lecture, the two in question are sat on the couch as Lily paces in front of them.  Frank and Alice have taken Neville and returned home, Del’s putting Harry to bed, James and Sirius are in the kitchen with Jamie, pretending not to be listening and laughing at them, “The children could have died!  Of all the bone-headed just plain _stupid_ –”

“But it wasn’t _us_ Lily!”

“Oh yes, quite right Severus, I forgot, _Harry_ set the fire, didn’t he?”

“Yes!” Severus and Remus say together, Lily looks even more pissed off.

“It’s bad enough you almost burned down my house, now you’re blaming my nephew?  My _six-month-old_ nephew?!”

“Lily, I promise you ­–”

“Did he transfigure the cat too?!” Severus looks to the ground sheepishly.

“No, that one was me, but I was just trying to put out the fire and the cat came past and I didn’t have another cup within reach so –”

“Shut up Severus!”

“Yes ma’am.”

“We asked, we specifically asked if you two would be okay, we _also_ told you, specifically, _don_ _’_ _t burn down the house_.”

“It’s hardly burnt down, there’s one scorch mark and a broken television,” Remus tells her, she glares at him, he shrinks back into the couch.

“We were okay with them, you didn’t mention Harry does magic now!”

“He doesn’t!”

“Clearly he does!  You didn’t mention he could talk either.”

“He…can’t?”

“He said Bambi,” Severus tells her.

“It was more like bambeh, but anyway, that’s what he was trying to do, put the show on.”

“So, what you are saying is, the infant child wanted to watch Bambi, requested it, then used magic to make it play, and caused the television to combust.  You then turned the cat into a water chalice, and tried to put out the fire by filling it and pouring it, before Remus shouted to do it directly from the wand, which you hadn’t done to begin with because you wanted to protect the curtain?  And Remus did nothing but sit and panic while holding the children, right?” The two men exchange awkward looks.

“When you say it like that it sounds ridiculous,” Remus complains, Lily’s face twitches, it’s at this point James walks in, carrying a sleeping Jamie on his hip.

“All right, let’s all take a deep breath, yeah?” James suggests, Lily just turns and walks out of the room, muttering about Maraudering and arson and ‘what is it with gay men and drapes’.

“Did you guys have fun?” Severus asks him, James nods.

“Yeah, it was good.  Turns out, being four and a half months pregnant makes bowling difficult though.”

“There’s some good news to come out of tonight,” Del announces as she walks in, Sirius immediately running into the room to join her, “We’re getting married!” Severus’ eyes widen in shock, Sirius had mentioned his intention to propose to Remus, but he’d had no idea.

“Congratulations!”

 

5th February 1981

“Hey Ri, Riiiii, Ri!” Sirius wakes up, rolling over to see his fiancée who’s pouting at him.

“Yes Angel?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Why not?” He asks, concerned, she sighs, rolling back onto her back before apparently deciding that was uncomfortable and turning back.

“I’m hungry, but we don’t have any corn chips.” Sirius looks at her in confusion.

“We have other food.”

“Yes, but I really want corn chips, I honestly think I may die without them.” Sirius smiles at her fondly and kisses her before getting up.

“I’ll go get some corn chips.”

Of course, corn chips are a Muggle thing that Lily usually buys.  He doesn’t know where to get them or how Muggle money works, and no one is awake to ask, so he does the only thing he can think of.

 

The next morning Remus Lupin wakes up to a note on his counter,

_Emergency midnight snack for pregnant lady,_

_You need more corn chips._

With a few sickles beside it, Remus shakes his head fondly and continues on with his day.

 

15th May 1981

Del is six months along in her pregnancy when she and Sirius get married.  Harry and Neville are eight months old and both entrusted with the role of ring bearers.  James gives Del away, Remus and Peter stand beside Sirius while Lily and Alice act as bridesmaids.  Severus and Frank carry a ring bearer each, Jamie is the little flower girl.  It’s quite a small ceremony, with no other family to invite and very few friends left alive.  Argus Filch was very happy to be invited, well, he didn’t seem happy, but Del insisted he was and she could tell.  Along with him were the Weasleys, Del’s school friend Hagrid who had been expelled after Tom blamed him for the Myrtle incident, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Sturgis Podmore, Minerva McGonagall, the Lupins, Mad-Eye Moody, Laura Evans, and Petunia Dursley.  The other two Dursleys had been invited out of necessity really, but Vernon had refused to go, refused to have his Son go, and attempted to refuse Petunia going.  No one got in the way of Petunia Evans and her sister.  Del was rather depressed that she couldn’t invited Narielle but knew it would be counter-productive in hiding Harry.

After the wedding, along with all the other documents that had to be signed, Sirius also legally adopts Harry as his own son.  While in Public he is still Harry James Potter, son of James and Lily Potter, he was now in private Harrison James Riddle-Potter-Black.  They figured if he wouldn’t be called it, it didn’t matter what the last name sounded like.

 

8th August 1981

Three months later finds them back in the hospital, Lily and James with Harry in the waiting room and Sirius with his wife as she gives birth to _their_ child.  Remus and Severus are there, of course, seeing as they are the child’s god-parents, Peter is there as well, Jamie had been left with Alice and Frank.  When Sirius finally comes out to get them, they walk in, eager to know the gender of the child.  Del had wanted to be surprised but, apparently, she’d felt she had known for a while what it would be.

And so the world was blessed with Hermione Antlia Malfoy-Potter-Black.  To be publicly known as Hermione Black.

“You know, when the war is over, and they can go by their real names, you should get them to refuse being called anything _but_ their full last names when it’s being used.  Get them to hyphenate when they get married and their kid’s names will just keep getting longer and longer.  Can you imagine Minnie’s face as she’s forced to read out the name of each generation?” James asks, Sirius laughs.

“She’d probably just look at the list and call ‘the descendant of Sirius Black,’” Severus tells them, they nod, chuckling.

“Harry, this is your Sister, Hermione.  Can you say hi?”

“Hi,” Thirteen-month-old Harry says before poking his sister in the face.  Hermione tiredly opens her eyes, revealing the same pale green her Mother and older brother have, and looks at him, Harry giggles.

“She looks a lot like her other-father,” Peter says in concern, Del sighs.

“For all anyone knows, she could be a Lovegood.”

“Fair point.”

“The Prewett brothers would have known on site and given you so much shit for it,” Lily tells her, stroking a finger over her niece’s face, Del nods.

“Poor Molly, a few months away from another kid of her own and her brothers’ won’t ever meet it.”

“And Alice lost her cousins,” Severus adds sadly, all gazing at the infant.

“They went down fighting, five blokes to take down those two, they’d have been proud,” Remus adds, James lets out a wet chuckle.

“They’re probably out there, right now, high-fiving ‘Did you see that?  Damn we looked so badass!’” They all laugh a bit, Hermione gazes back at them blankly, completely unaware that her birth has given them another reason to keep fighting when all hope seems lost.

 

A few hours later, James, Lily, Peter, and Remus have gone home, Del is asleep on her bed, and Sirius is pacing with Hermione in his arms, attempting to put her to sleep.

“You know, I chose your name very carefully.  See one name that Hermione is often shortened to, is Minnie.  Given that you’re named after Minerva McGonagall herself, you’d think you’d do as your told,” Sirius mutters to his infant daughter, overwhelming fondness coursing through him, making his eyes water and his chest ache, “If this is what it feels like to have children, how could my family be so horrible to us all?” He wonders aloud, tears begin falling as he strokes his daughter’s face, “Then again, I never did make it easy for them, or anyone.” Sirius sighs, feeling like a git for all the times he’s messed with people, now understanding how much it must have killed their parents to know their child is upset, “Oh Hermione, I promise you this, you will be so very loved no matter who you grow up to be.  But for the love of Merlin, _please_ , be better than me.”

 

31st October 1981

Almost three months after Hermione is born, Remus stops by the Potter’s house with Jamie to check in and finds complete chaos.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on here?” Remus asks, grabbing Del’s shoulders as she tries to return to her room in tears.

“Nothing just,” She sighs, “No one’s had any sleep, we’re stir crazy, we can’t take Harry out of the house, and you-know-who’s closing in and –”

“Okay, here’s what we’re going to do.  Lily and James are going to stay here with Harry, while you, Hermione, and I go get Severus and go to a nice café near my place for a few hours, okay?” He asks, she takes a few deep breaths and nods, “Okay, you go get your daughter, I’ll have a word with your idiot brother.” She chuckles as she nods and goes to the nursery, “Where did _my_ daughter go?” He wonders when he looks down to find her gone.

“Remy?” Lily asks as he walks into the kitchen, finding Jamie sat on the bench in front of her, chatting away, he flinches, “Remus,” She corrects as her eyes widen, she opens her mouth to apologise but he waves her off, though the tremor in his hands has returned.  He does his best to ignore the feeling in his head warning of possible panic attack in the near future.

“I’m taking Del and Hermione out,” He tells her, she frowns.

“Remus, it’s six pm, and nearly winter!”

“So we’ll rug up, where’s James?” She sighs and nods her head over to where he’s trying to feed an uncooperative Harry.

“Hey Prongs.” James looks over, Remus can see how tired he is and wishes he could take Harry too, but it’s too dangerous.

“Moons?”

“Del, Hermione, Jamie, and I are going out.” He looks annoyed, clearly about to argue, “Don’t argue with me, I’m going to get Sirius to take you two out tomorrow, everyone needs a break.” He sighs and nods.

“Moony?”

“Yeah?” James smiles at him.

“Thanks,” He tells him, Remus smiles back, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Any time.  Hey Bambi,” Remus says, kissing the child on the head, said child looks at him, now sixteen months old, or a year and a bit as most people would say.

“Un Moo,” Harry calls happily, Remus beams at the boy, booping his nose and making the child giggle.

“I love you Harry,” Remus tells the child.

“Unca, Un Moo,” Harry tells James, James smiles and nods.

“We’ll see you later Un Moo,” James tells him, Remus chuckles, walking back towards the floo. 

“Uncle Prongs!” Jamie calls excitedly, rushing over to her Uncle who hugs her.

“Hello there Little Lady!”

“Your silly!” Three-year-old Jamie says with a giggle, “Hi Harry!”

“Jam!” Harry shrieks in happiness, Jamie giggles again.  Del comes out, handing Remus Hermione before walking over to her Son.

“Mama!” Harry says happily, Del smiles.

“You are very talkative this morning Cub, I’ll be back soon, and Daddy will be home tonight.  You be good for Uncle James and Auntie Lily, yeah?” Harry blows a raspberry, “Yep, that about sums it up.  I love you Bambi.  I’ll see you later Jimmy, Lils.”

 

“Oi, Severus,” Remus whispers, Severus rolls over in his bed to find his friend, it takes a second for him to realise he really should not be here.

“Remus, what the fuck?!” Remus shushes him.

“C’mon,” He tells him before going back through the floo to his house where Del and Hermione are waiting.  Severus huffs, pulling on clothes and following through.

“What the devil were you…Baby!” Severus’ face goes from angry to pure delight in a second flat as he goes over and takes his god-daughter from her mother, “Hello Gumdrop, and hello Del.”

“Morning Sev,” Del greets, smiling though clearly tired.

“Uncle Sev, we’re going to have food!  I want toast,” Jamie tells him, Severus looks to Remus in confusion.

“We’re going out for dinner, god-father duties.” Sev chuckles at Remus, bouncing Hermione in his arms.

“Well, if it’s _God-Father_ duties, I suppose I have no choice.  Luckily for you, I have nothing important to do until tomorrow afternoon.”

“What were you doing in bed anyway?” Severus shrugs.

“Haven’t slept for a while.” Remus frowns, Severus waves him off, Del sighs and leads them all out.

 

That’s how they ended up at a café in the south of France at 7:30pm.  For some reason, that Severus and Del cannot understand seeing as it seems more of a breakfast or brunch place, it’s still busy.  Remus says it’s always that way.

“Lily doesn’t really think I’m gay, does she?” Severus asks randomly, Remus chuckles.

“Are you still thinking about the Bambi incident?  Sev, you dated her, I’m pretty sure she noticed you aren’t gay.”

“I mean, to be fair, I’m fairly certain my husband is gay,” Del adds, Severus and Remus both nod.

“Fair point, I suppose she might think you had decided her personality was worth some discomfort?  Plus James was in the relationship too…I don’t know.” Severus sighs at him, Remus shifts the sleeping Hermione in his arms slightly.

“I’m not gay, for the record,” Severus tells them, Remus suddenly remembers a conversation from years ago and laughs, “What?”

“I just, something Peter said back in fifth year.”

“What did he say?” Del asks, Remus laughs harder.

“We were talking about sexuality and stuff, and he said he was completely straight.  I made a comment about pasta, he’s like stale spaghetti, stays straight no matter how hot and steamy things get.” The other two chuckle, Remus laughs again before trying to calm himself, “He said does that make Sirius ravioli, and I asked why, and he said Padfoot’s always folded in half and full of meat.” Remus and Severus both laugh hard at it, Del looks unimpressed.  Jamie laughs from Severus’ lap, not understanding what’s funny but joining in her Father and Uncle’s laughter anyway.

“Did you seriously just say that while holding my infant daughter?  Appropriateness! And gross!  That is _such_ a teenage boy joke,” She complains.

“Well, we were fifteen when he said it, so I suppose that makes sense,” Remus tells her, still laughing.  They hear a commotion from a table across the outdoor seating area and see a waiter arguing with a customer.

“What’s going on?” Del asks, not speaking the language, Severus shrugs.

“They aren’t speaking French.”

“No, they’re speaking Finnish.  He’s not happy she’s breastfeeding in public and is trying to throw her out,” Remus tells them, Severus looks at him.

“Of course you’d speak Finnish.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Hey, hey!  Leave her alone!” Del tells the waiter as she walks stands up, the waiter looks at her.

“This doesn’t concern you,” He tells her with a French accent, she glares.

“As a Mother, I disagree,” She replies, waving a hand in the direction of Remus and Hermione.

“Well, at least your husband there knows how you should act in public then, this woman’s does not.”

“Oh shit,” Severus mutters to Remus who nods, Del’s glare intensifies as she stands up on the table, “Del, don’t be James, you’re a Hufflepuff, aren’t you meant to be calm and all loving or something?”

“No Severus, I’m meant to care for people and be compassionate, how I show that is my own prerogative. And _you_ sir, are you insinuating that a woman can’t make her own damned decisions in life?  Why is it that all these people can eat here but that baby can’t?  Is the female body so insulting to you?”

“It is something to be used in private!” Remus sighs, this wasn’t going to end well.  Next thing he knows Del’s taking off her shirt, he immediately looks away. Severus puts Jamie on the ground next to her Father who turns her away from the scene.

“Del, what are you doing?” Only now another lady is stripping as well.  Severus, blushing deeply, tries to get Del to come down.

“No Severus, I will not!” She says, still stripping on the table.

“I am calling the Police!” The waiter declares.

“You go ahead, we’ll stand waiting,” The other lady declares, Del nods.

 

Five minutes later, Del and the other lady calmly go with the police, Remus and Severus exchanging looks.

“Prongs is going to kill us.”

“I have to say though, I’m impressed with the response time,” Severus tells him, Remus sighs, “Right, we should get to the station.”

 

After a long argument between Remus, Severus, and a few Police officers, all in French, they discover that the café is pressing charges and that a bail must be paid before Del can be released.

“We have to tell James, don’t we?” Severus asks Remus who sighs and nods, “How the hell has Hermione slept through all of this?”

“All right, here’s what we’re going to do, you go get James, I’ll take Hermione and Jamie to Peter’s while we sort this out, get Lily to do the same with Harry in case this is harder to deal with than we think, less to worry about.”

“Right, we’ll be back soon,” Severus sneers at the Police officer.  They both head back to Remus’ house and floo to their different destinations, only the hideout is empty when Remus arrives.

“Pete?” Remus calls as he searches around the house.

“Uncle Wormy!” Jamie calls out, Remus pulls her behind him.

“He’s not here Remus.” Remus spins around to see Albus looking grave, Remus frowns, pulling Hermione and Jamie closer to him.

“What happened?  Where is he?” Remus may be mistaken, but he really thinks Dumbledore looks like he’s about to cry.

“Sirius killed him, and twelve Muggles.”

“What the devil are you talking about Old Man?!” Remus demands, Albus sighs.

“He was the spy.”

“YOU’RE LYING!”

“I WISH I WERE!” For everything he had seen, Remus had never bore witness to Albus Dumbledore yelling before.  Albus sinks into a chair nearby, Remus walking over hesitantly, “It had to be him, he was the secret keeper.” Remus backs up.

“James, Lily…”

“I’m so sorry Remus, they’re dead.”

“Harry?!” Remus asks desperately, Albus sighs.

“He’s alive.  It might interest you to know that last night we also lost Miss Meadowes and Mr Fenwick.” Remus drops to his knees.

“How could…there must be a mistake, Sirius would never!” Dumbledore regards him for a moment.

“I know you cared for him Remus, but you knew this was a possibility.”

“They made Severus Harry’s God-Father,” Remus begins saying, “He’ll look after him until Del’s out.”

“Out of where?” Remus sobs slightly.

“Gaol, it’s complicated.”

“Complicated or not, Harry’s already going to a safe place.” Remus looks up at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Lily’s put a spell of protection on him, it will only work so long as he’s in close proximity to her blood relatives.”

“You-You can’t mean Petunia…Sir, that giant ham of a man she’s married to will make life _hell_ for him!”

“I don’t have a choice Remus.”

“Del’s his mother!”

“And I’m sure she will want him to be safe, no matter what.” Remus just looks heartbroken, “Tom is dead.”

“WHAT?!” Remus all but screams, unable to comprehend what is happening anymore.

“The war is over Remus, we won,” He tells him, Remus scoffs.

“No Old Man, _you_ won.”

“I didn’t want this Remus!”

“YOU CONTROL EVERYHTING ELSE, IF YOU TRIED THEY’D STILL BE ALIVE!”

“THEY PUT THEIR FAITH IN THE WRONG PERSON!” The two men look at each other, breathing heavily before Dumbledore takes a breath to calm himself, “If it were anyone else I’d admit none of this, but you have a low opinion of me anyway.  I made a mistake a long time ago Remus and my sister died because of it,” He says, Remus looks at him in confusion, “Every decision I have made since has been to protect people so that no one else has to deal with that, and I know I failed here, I failed _them_.  But the rest of the wizarding world is safe again, for now.  We both know Voldemort is not a man but some non-human spiritous apparition, he will be back and when he returns, his Son is the first person he will go after.”

“But Harry isn’t his son, he’s Tom’s.”

“Yes, but we’ve seen before, parts of Roana within Tom.  Something of the host remains and, given the obsession with which he searched for Harry, if it will be anything, it will be that.” Remus looks to the ground in defeat, “He’ll be after Hermione as well.”

“I’m her God-Father, I can protect her,” He all but growls, Albus raises an eyebrow, Jamie looks between them both in fright, holding onto her father’s leg tightly.

“Like you protected the others?” Remus freezes as Albus shakes his head, “No, it’s clear she isn’t safe here.  I failed to protect the others, I will not fail her too. I’m sorry Remus, truly, I am.  But I’m doing this for the greater good.” Remus looks at him in concern.

“Doing what?”

By the time Remus noticed the presence behind him, it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I know Drapes is a North American term, not an English. I’m actually Australian so maybe I’m wrong on that but the internet said so so I’m taking it as fact :/ anyway, I included it simply because I wanted Severus Snape to yell ‘I WAS TRYING TO SAVE THE DRAPES!’ so much that I didn’t care too much about that particular detail. Maybe he picked it up from an American wizard in Slytherin who went to Hogwarts after moving to England? Who knows… For anyone who doesn’t know, it’s a long curtain.


	40. Unforseeable Consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to take a moment and say holy shit this story has come so far. I used to chuckle to myself as I was uploading, looking at where you guys were up to and being like 'Heh, suckers have no idea what's coming', and now you all do! And there's only sixteen more chapters! Which seems like a lot, but not when compared to the fifty six we started with. Anyway, my point is, thank you so much for sticking around and I do hope everyone is enjoying my story :)

Chapter 40

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“DADDY!”  Remus waked up with a jolt when his daughter hits him in the face, he blinks blearily.

“Jamie, are you okay?” He asks, she cries.

“Daddy I’m scared.  There was a pirate and you were sleeping!” He doesn’t understand her but pulls her to him, holding her tightly.

“Remus? Remus?!” Remus looks over to find Severus searching around the room for him.

“Here,” He calls, Severus rushes over to him.

“Remus, their dead, he got them –”

“I know Severus, I know.”

“Sirius has been put in Azkaban,” Severus tells him, he looks over in alarm.

“Without a trial?” Severus nods, “You must know he couldn’t have done this, right?”

“I do, but, who else could have?  I know he would never, but I also know he had to, and now…now they’re dead, they’re dead.” Remus hugs Severus close, then realises his arms are emptier than they should be.

“He took her, he took her, Severus he took her!”

“Who took whom?” Remus looks at him, panic clear on his features.

“Dumbledore, he took Hermione, and he put Harry with the Dursleys.” Severus looks horrified.

“Remus, what do we do?” Remus clutches him tightly as they both sit in the empty room.

“I don’t know.”

 

In the end, Severus goes to plead with Dumbledore while Remus goes to speak with Del, leaving Jamie with Alice and Frank after explaining the situation to them.

“I know Remus.  Albus has been by,” Del tells him, “And, I know he took the kids.  It’s okay, they’ll be safe.” Despite her words, she looks completely miserable.

“Del, we can’t get money to pay your bail anymore,” He tells her, “We’ll work something out but it might take a little while.”  She nods.

“I’ll be fine.  Remus, look after him.” Remus turns to see Severus a little ways off, he turns back and nods.

“We’ll get you out of here Del, we _will_.”

“I love you guys,” Del tells him, Remus frowns, “Just remember that.”

“We love you too Del, always.”

 

 

7th November 1981

A week after the end of the war, Severus shows up at Remus’ house, ignoring the fact that he’s drunk off his fucking arse.

“Bellatrix, the Lestrange brothers, and Barty Jr have been arrested.  They tortured Alice and Frank endlessly Remus,” Severus tells him, Remus looks up at him, desolate eyes, “They’ve been admitted to St Mungos, Augusta says they won’t be coming out.”

“Lucius and Narcissa are free, some bullshit about being under the Imperius curse.  M’actually glad, you know?  They did sm’bad things but they’re good people, and Draco’ll have ‘is family.”

“Where’s Jamie?”

“Asleep, is 11pm Sev.”  Remus takes a deep breath, a lone tear falling from his eye, “It was his birthday four days ago.” Severus frowns.

“What do we do now Remus?  Everyone’s gone, the war is over.”  The two sit on the floor of Remus’ living room, side by side against the wall, one drinking a bottle of vodka, the other wishing he weren’t allergic to alcohol.

“I don’t know Sev, I really don’t.”

 

 

23rd July 1982

Eight months after the end of the war, Severus and Remus are sitting and discussing how their latest project might impact a human while four-year-old Jamie plays in her room.  They’ve been using their history of creating spells and potions to try and help people affected by the war, a rather big turn around from them using these skills to fight one.  Neither are sure it really helps them with coping or anything, but at least they _do_ know that it’s helping other people.  Plus, they’ve made quite a bit of money from it.  This time they have come up with a potion that should regrow lost limbs, however they aren’t convinced it will work at all.

“We need to test it,” Severus says, Remus nods.

“Yes, but how?  It’s illegal to test a new potion on living beings.” Severus drums his fingers on the table in thought.

“What if our test subject weren’t alive?” Remus frowns.

“We aren’t murdering anyone Sev.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that!  But plenty of people are already dead.  Of course, where would we find a corpse?” Remus looks at him with a gleam in his eye.

“I know where we can find a whole bunch,” He says with an excited smile, Severus looks at him warily.

“You do see how that came out, yes?”

“I do now, yeah, that was creepy and incredibly psychopathic.”

“Right then, let’s go.”

 

Remus takes Jamie to his parents’ place, they are more than happy to look after her and she is very excited to see her grand-parents.  He then apparates he and Sev to Hogsmeade, both of them carrying what they need to brew the potion.

“This way,” Remus tells him.  He leads his friend into the forbidden forest, a long way in.

“We are _so_ going to get eaten.”

“We aren’t going to get eaten.”

“Do you even remember where you’re going?”

“Severus I frequented this place for seven years, I know where I’m going.”

“Care to fill me in then?” Remus sighs.

“In our first year at Hogwarts, the lads and I explored the castle and the grounds a lot.  One day, when feeling particularly adventurous, or possibly just needing to get out of the castle for some reason, we decided to explore the forest too.  We found an old and, by appearances, abandoned graveyard.  We read some of the tomb stones, looks like the one used for a village that was somewhere around here before the forest got overrun with creatures.  Or they were already here and the settlers didn’t know, or a million other possibilities.  Point is, they’re gone now, and despite many attempts, we found no remnants of the town.”

“That is a significant piece of history you’re suggesting we dig up,” Severus points out, Remus nods.

“Yes, but come on Sev, no one is going to be willing to enter this forest to look into it any.”

“You could.”

“And I can do so after this.  Honestly, what’s more important to you, preserving history, or our potion?” Severus groans.

“Lily’s got to be cursing us so badly right now, wherever she is.” Remus smiles softly at him, nodding.

“Care to give her more reason to then?” Remus asks, Severus smiles slightly and nods, Remus continues leading him.

 

“So, we’re just going to dig up a grave?” Severus asks as they stop walking at the graveyard Remus had described, Remus purses his lips and nods slowly.

“Best get digging.”

“Seriously Re, are you a wizard or not?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, is there some great and all-powerful spell someone’s created for lifting _dirt_?  Of an unknown quantity?” Severus glares at him.

“You’re a Werewolf, can’t you sniff how far down it is?” Remus just gives him a deadpan look that clearly gets across how much of an idiot he thinks Severus is.

“Just set up your potion lab, I’ll dig the blasted grave up.”  Remus grabs the shovel he brought, beginning to dig, “Oh this feels so wrong.”

 

“Okay, now, cut off its leg,” Remus directs, looking at the sword in Severus’ hand.

“What?  Me?  You do it, this was your idea!” Remus grimaces as he takes the sword.

“Fair enough,” He says, it was his idea after all.  He edges forward slowly, grimacing more with every step, “You know, now that I think about it, you’re the one that suggested corpses.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake Remus, we’ve come this far, just do it!” Remus does it, half expecting it to come back to life and scream, but nothing happens.  Remus shudders as he walks away, using the sword to shift the severed leg away.  Remus feels Moony stirring within him and takes a moment to compose himself.  It’s only really then that Remus notices the grave held two corpses instead of one.

“Any idea how long they’ve been dead?” Severus asks, Remus frowns.

 “A Hundred-and-thirty-eight years,” Remus replies, moving away from the limb when he realises how tenuous his control is right now.  Corpses were a bad idea.

“That’s incredibly specific.” Remus sighs, attempting nonchalance despite feeling every wolf instinct he has firing.  The smell of blood from the severed leg filling his nostrils.  Remus just thanks his lucky stars there’s no damned heartbeat or he’d have lost it by now.

“It’s written on the gravestone, moron,” He replies in a slightly strangled voice.

“Right.  I really wish Wizards wouldn’t put preservation spells on their corpses.”

“It’s a thing about respect for them.”

“Yes, I realise that, but it’s creepy.”

“Severus, we just dug up a grave, I don’t think _they_ ’re the creepy ones.”

“Let’s just get this over with,” He decides as he grabs a ladle of the potion he made while Remus was digging, “You know you’re going to have to make her swallow it, right?” Remus cringes.

“Can you do that?” He asks, not looking at the corpses, Severus frowns at him, sensing something more than the obvious going on.

“What’s wrong?”

“Werewolf plus corpse does not equal a calm experience.” Severus tenses, looking rather afraid, “I’m fine, okay, I’d just rather not put that to the test more than I have.” Severus still looks afraid, and rather pale, but nods.  He goes over to the corpse, cringing as he opens its mouth, pours the potion down her throat, and then massages her throat to make her swallow it.

“Is it working?” Severus asks, looking away from the corpse’s face and down where her leg begins growing back.

“Yes, it is!” Remus says excitedly, watching as the limb fully regrows.  Severus stands, watching it happen as well, the two share a smile before Severus suddenly screams.  He looks down to see the bloody corpse _biting_ him!  He jerks away, Remus grabbing his hand and pulling him back, the corpse turns and bites the corpse beside her.  The woman’s bashed in skull heals over, the man’s slit throat stitching back together, “Severus, their hearts still aren’t beating,” Remus realises, Severus doesn’t respond, Remus looks over to see him grabbing his ankle where he was bit, “Severus?” Severus finally turns over and sees Remus, immediately trying to attack him, “SEVERUS!” Remus screeches, moving and getting away from him desperately. 

Severus keeps coming after him, trying to… _Oh Merlin, he_ _’_ _s trying to bite me!_ Remus realises with horror.  The corpses haven’t moved from their plot and appear to be inactive again.  Remus leads Severus back over to them.  He grabs the sword he’d dropped there, and while doing so sees the severed leg.  He picks it up, waving it at Severus whose eyes focus on it, Remus chucks it, relieved to see Severus go after it.  He’s rather horrified as he watches Severus devour the thing down to the bone though. 

“S-Sev?” Remus asks, trembling.  Severus looks over him, the sanity returning to his eyes despite the blood and bits of flesh on him.

“Remus?  W-What’s wrong with me?” He asks, looking between Remus and the leg in his arms.

“I don’t know.”

 

Remus apparates them both home, on instinct he goes back and grabs the two corpses they’d dug up, quickly hiding them in a broom closet and returning to Severus as he gets out of the shower.

“How do you feel?” Remus asks him, Severus shrugs as he sits.

“Off.  I don’t know how just…off.”

“How’s the…bite?” Severus shudders at the word, lifting his leg onto the chair beside him at the kitchen counter.  Remus comes over, lifting the leg of the pants he borrowed from Remus to see the bite mark.

“I-I tried to heal it.  It won’t work.  Tried every spell I know for closing wounds.  Managed to stop the bleeding but…” Remus bites his lip anxiously as he looks at the bite before shaking his head.  He goes over to his sink and pulls out the first aid kit.

“We’ll do this the Muggle way then.”  He puts disinfectant on it, the sting takes Severus by surprise, seeing as he’d never dealt with it, and he kicks out.  His slight kick out sends Remus back harshly and causing him to fall into the back of the couch and push it away slightly.

“Remus!” Severus calls, going over to him and helping him up, Remus looks at him in surprise.

“Severus –” Remus begins to say, but Severus goes still, clutching his chest before he just collapses, “SEVERUS!” Remus calls in fright, for the second time that night.  Remus can hear immediately that his heart has stopped beating, he starts compressions, but his heart won’t restart.

In a last-ditch attempt to save the last link he has to his old group, and his friend in his own right, Remus forgets his fear.  He uses magic for the first time since his capture.

“locomotor,” Remus says, focusing on moving blood through Severus’ body.  After all, that’s all a heart is for, right?  He keeps doing this, growing less hopeful by the moment, but a minute and thirty seconds after he starts, Severus’ eyes open and his breathing returning to normal.

“Remus, what the hell is happening?” Severus asks, Remus feels himself crying.

“I have no idea, but I think we made a very big mistake,” He says, still focused on his task, “Severus, I don’t suppose that unlike a spell for moving dirt, you know of a spell to move blood?  As in throughout the body?” Severus looking at him in concern before looking at the hand Remus has on his chest.  Severus’ hand goes to his neck, searching for a pulse and finding none.

“I-I…no, but um…but there’s-there’s a potion, one that circulates blood.  They use it in St Mungos.” Remus nods.

“Do you know how to make it?” Severus nods, “Then I need you to do so without losing contact with me.”

“Good thing we have my potion supplies then.  And that it’s a relatively easy potion to brew.”

An hour later it’s done, Severus drinks it and nods to Remus who tentatively takes his hand away and shakes off the feeling of using magic again.  Severus doesn’t die, so he takes that as a win.

“I need to take that every thirty-six hours,” He says, busying himself with cleaning up, “Assuming I’m still around in thirty-six hours.”

“Don’t say that, you will be.”

“We have no idea what is wrong with me but…” Severus stops speaking stepping away from Remus and putting a hand over his mouth, “Remus…Remus you need to get away from me.”

“Severus what’s happening?”

“I think I know why it bit me,” Severus says, eyes going wide and glassy.

“Why?” Remus asks, taking a step back from Severus.

“Instinct.” Remus swallows as he regards Severus, ready to run just in case.

“Is that what happened before?  With the leg?” Severus shakes his head.

“No, that was…that was hunger.  This is-isn’t that.”

“Then what is it?”  Severus takes a step towards Remus who steps back, “Severus, what is it?  Why do you need to bite?”

“To spread,” Severus says with an eerie voice before moving towards Remus at a higher speed.  Remus backs up, hitting the wall as Severus gets close.  He shoves him away when he reaches for him.

“Severus, come on mate, you don’t want to do this.” Severus just sort of bares his teeth, Remus ducks out of the way and rolls under his arm, spinning just in time to catch both his arms as he comes after him again.  They fall to the floor, Severus trying to bite him, Remus grappling for control and attempting to keep his head away from him, “Severus please.  I know a thing or two about fighting instinct.  I know it isn’t easy.  But please, for god’s sake, fight it!” 

Severus suddenly surges forward with a greater amount of strength than should be possible, Remus brings his legs up, flipping Severus over him in a feat of Werewolf strength.  For once, Remus is damned glad he _is_ a Werewolf, or that would’ve been game over.  Severus is stronger than any human, but he’s no Werewolf, just somewhere in between in strength.

Remus doesn’t waste time, he gets up, grabbing Severus by his collar and shoves him up against a wall, pinning him with his body.  He places a hand under Severus’ jaw, grabbing hold of his jaw bone without risking being bitten, and holding his head against the wall.

“Dammit, Severus, snap out of it!” Severus thrashes around, trying to bite him, or kick out, or just get free, “ _Stop trying to bite me_.” Severus’ eyes flash yellow and he goes slack, Remus’ eyes widen, “Shit, shit, shit.”  He waits the few seconds it should take for that to wear off.  When it does, Severus blinks at him before his eyes widen.

“Remus, I-I’m sorry.”

“Is it still there?” Remus asks, Severus doesn’t pretend to misunderstand. He nods slowly, closing his eyes and swallowing harshly.

“It’s not as strong now, I don’t know why.”  Remus hesitantly releases him, stepping away properly when Severus makes no move to attack.

“Okay, okay, so something changed.  Or it’s an effect of whatever the fuck it is I do to people when I do that.”

“What do we do Re?” Severus asks, sounding and looking terrified.

“We take a breath and we think calmly.  Okay, so, those corpses healed, all their wounds were healed.  Come here.”  Remus grabs Severus’ hand, scratching at his arm harshly.

“Shit!  Remus what the hell?” He asks, jerking his hand away, but Remus keeps hold.  The scratches heal over in seconds, Remus releases his hand, “How?” Severus asks breathlessly as he looks at his arm, running his hand over the area.

“That potion was supposed to regrow limbs, I think its healing properties stuck.”

“What does cannibalistic tendencies, a need to spread, super strength, no heart beat, and corpses becoming active got to do with that?!” Severus asks in a strangled cry, Remus huffs, biting his lip.

“The corpses stopped moving after moments.  I think, this thing brought them back to life long enough to pass it on, but it was more like a surge of life within them.  Without a heartbeat, they died again.  I got your blood circulating, so you lived on.  Perhaps the strength could have something to do with what the potion was supposed to do, but I don’t know about the rest of it.”  Severus starts pacing nervously.

“Let’s forget about why this is happening. How do we deal with it?  Can we undo it?” Severus ask, Remus scratches his jaw, biting his lip, and pacing.

“We don’t know that the cannibalistic tendencies will stick around, maybe it was a one off?” Severus shakes his head, Remus nods, “Okay, then, what about a potion.  One that has all the nutrients or whatever of a body but without actually containing human chowder?”  Severus thinks it over, tilting his head side to side slightly before he nods.

“It might be possible, emphasis on _might_.  I doubt anyone’s tried it before though, and I doubt it’s easy.  Where to find everything, I’ll need to know exactly what’s in people.”

“Is it people?  Or just flesh?  Or living flesh?” Severus tilts his head slightly before shrugging.

“No idea.”  Remus goes over to the icebox and grabs a steak, holding it out to Severus.

“Hungry?” Severus looks at Remus like he’s an idiot.

“It’s a frozen steak, I don’t think I’d ever be _that_ hungry.”

“Hey, I’d eat it.  Besides, I literally watched you devour a human leg we cut off a corpse of a person who died over a hundred years ago.” Severus winces.

“I’m gonna be sick.”  Remus puts the steak away.

“Okay, let’s have dinner while we think about this, and we’ll see how things go.” 

Remus cooks dinner while Severus continues freaking out.  As he freaks, he looks through his potions books for any scrap of information about a human flesh supplement.    Remus floo calls his parents, informs them that there’s been a bit of an incident and requests they watch Jamie for a few days.  He speaks with her briefly under the watchful eye of Lyall to make sure she doesn’t burn herself, she makes him promise to talk to her daily and cries, still having abandonment issues though he doubts she remembers the time he was captured.

“If there is anything, it’s not in these books,” Severus tells him, throwing his last book aside.

“I’m not comfortable with the idea of you going home alone right now.” Severus nods his agreement.

“Yes, that seems like a bad idea.”  Remus puts a plate of food in front of him and sits beside him with his own.  Remus starts eating, watching Severus out of the corner of his eye as he does the same.  His face screws up as he eats.

“What’s wrong?” Remus asks, Severus sighs, shoulders slumping.

“The chicken tastes burnt.”  Remus frowns, Severus eats some vegetables and fruit and really Remus had just put a little of everything on to find out what would happen.

It’s about three minutes later that Severus starts feeling ill.  A minute later he bolts to the bathroom and starts throwing it all up.

“So, that didn’t work,” Remus states as he holds Severus’ hair back, “Why human flesh though, why not other animals?” Severus groans, resting his head on his arm.

“Why do Werewolves attack humans and not other creatures?”

“Magic,” Remus replies, Severus looks at him in confusion, “Wizards and witches have magic coursing through their veins, it’s in every pore, it’s everywhere.  We can smell it, that’s what attracts us.  But after a while, it’s humans we associate with danger and fear and threat.”

“Maybe it’s the magic then?” Remus nods.

“Could be.  I just don’t understand how our potion did this.”

“Maybe there was something already wrong with her.  Her body was preserved, maybe some potion was still in effect within her when the spell was cast.  Maybe something contaminated our potion, we weren’t in a sterile environment.  Maybe I made it wrong.  Maybe it was just a really badly done potion in general design.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

They’re walking back out of the living room when Severus looks at the back of Remus’ neck and feels it again, he makes a sort of whimpering noise, trying to warn him when he suddenly goes for him.  Remus hears the noise and manages to catch Severus’ arm, twisting him around and pinning him against a wall.  Severus struggles for a moment before he stops, breathing heavily.

“S-Sorry, I just…” He doesn’t finish his sentence.  He twitches again, trying to get free.  He groans at the effort while Remus holds him there, tears filling his eyes at his friend’s struggle.  He knows that struggle well.  He stays quiet, hoping Severus will get control of himself.  A moment later Severus stills again.  He leans his forehead against the wall.

“Severus?” Severus turns his head to the side again.

“Y-Yeah.”

“You good?” Severus takes a deep breath before nodding slightly.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.”  As before, he releases him slowly, Severus clears his throat before he turns around, keeping his back pressed against the wall.  Remus sees the lucidity in his eyes and relaxes, stepping back from him, “I am putting an eternal ban on us experimenting with magic.  Between this, and the moral-reversal spell, nope.  I’m done.” Remus nods.

“Me too.  I’m sorry, by the way.  If I had better control of myself I’d have been the one making her swallow.” Severus huffs out an incredulous laugh as he rubs over his face.

“Then we’d be dealing with some…some Werewolf-Zombie hybrid shit.  Besides, I am hardly going to judge you on your self-control right now.  I literally tried to eat you.”

“Zombie, huh?” Remus asks him, he shrugs.

“I mean, I’m not itching for brains, but everything else fits.”

“Some depictions of zombies just eat anything that moves.  Though that’s not restricted to humans, so I suppose it still doesn’t fit exactly.”

“None of it fits exactly but it’s that or coin a new term and I am not giving this… _thing_ the satisfaction of its own name.” Remus chuckles.

“All right, you should get some rest.”

“I am not at all tired.”  Remus sighs, then nods.

 

It’s an hour of pacing, freaking, and drinking (On Remus’ part) before Severus stops moving rather suddenly.

“Sev?” Remus asks, prepared to defend himself again, but Severus merely puts a hand over his mouth, turning around to show his eyes have been screwed shut, “What is it?”  Remus gets up to comfort him but Severus removes his hand from his mouth to put his hand out, taking a step back as well.

“Don’t-don’t come any closer.” Remus frowns.

“Why?” Severus looks terrified, beginning to tremble slightly.  The stench of fear in the room filing Remus’ nostrils even without him pulling his wolf-sense of smell forward.

“I…” He doesn’t finish his sentence, his eyes darkening in a way Remus remembers too well.  Recognises deep inside in a part of himself he tries so hard to deny.

“You’re hungry, aren’t you.” It’s not a question, he’s not surprised that the only answer he gets is Severus taking a step towards him.  He hesitates again though, Remus can see the battle within him, and he knows it won’t be long until Severus loses.  He backs up to the closet where he’d left the corpses.

It seems like a bad idea, but without another option, he does what he must.

“Severus,” Remus calls, his newly changed creature-friend looks up at him, “Let go.  Trust me.” Severus’ entire body freezes for a moment, then comes rushing at him.  Remus has a brief moment to wonder if he could’ve placed that trust in someone so quickly, then to consider that perhaps he hadn’t and had just lost the battle with instinct when Remus distracted him.  Then he steps aside, opening the door just before Severus reaches him.  Severus sees the meal awaiting inside and enters without a second thought, Remus shuts the door behind him.  Much as he’d like to be with him when he comes out of this hunger frenzy, Remus knows it’s not a good idea to watch someone devour a perfectly preserved human body.  The last thing they need right now is the both of them losing their shit.

A few minutes of heavy breathing and pointedly ignoring the strong stench of blood, all noise stops from beyond the door.

“Oh god,” Remus hears Severus whisper, Remus opens the door.

“Come on Sev, let’s get you cleaned up.”  Remus enters the room, helping Severus stand and trying his best to block out everything else.

That bit doesn’t go great.  He feels the wolf stirring in him once more.  It’s never been this bad before, not that Remus has ever made it a habit to be around bleeding human corpses and a frenzy-ing not-zombie before.  _All right, I suppose I can_ _’_ _t blame myself for not seeing this coming._ He thinks to himself, _But if I_ _’_ _m going to help Sev, I need to get myself together._ Remus shuts his eyes, holding his breath and biting his lip, hard, as he guides Severus out of the room.

At this point, Remus is pretty sure Severus is in shock.  He helps Severus into the shower and cleans him off when it becomes clear he’s incapable of doing it himself at the moment.

“So,” Remus begins when he has Severus clean and sitting at the kitchen bench once more with more borrowed clothes and a blanket wrapped around him, “From now on I think we should make sure you eat regularly.  Hopefully we can avoid another feeding frenzy.”

“Remus, I don’t want to do that again,” Severus says in a whisper that Remus hears easily, he sighs.

“I know Sev, but we can’t do much about that at the moment.  We’ll work on it, we’ll sort this out.”

“And what do we do when we run out of…food.  ARE WE JUST GOING TO KEEP DIGGING UP GRAVES?!” Severus demands harshly, voice growing with every word.

“IF WE HAVE TO, YES!  YOU’RE DAMNED RIGHT WE WILL!”  Severus falls silent, looking defeatedly at the table.

“Then we’re going to have to get digging pretty soon,” He tells him quietly, Remus frowns at him.  He cringes slightly, unsure how to phrase his next question.

“How much did you…eat?” Remus asks, Severus flinches slightly.

“I-uh, I’m not sure exactly.”  Remus nods slowly, bracing himself before he gets up and walks to the closet.  Remus holds his breath as he opens the door and looks in.  There’s blood everywhere, and bits of flesh around from messy eating, Remus grips the doorhandle tightly to keep himself in check.  But the bodies themselves are…

“Severus, can you come here for a second.” Remus can hear Severus muttering about how he’d rather not, but he walks over nonetheless.

“Huh.”  The bodies are intact.

“Guess our grave robbing days are over after all.”

“Did you just say grave robbing?” Severus shrieks as Remus slams the closet door shut and both turn around to face the intruder, backs against the door.

“Lucius!  How good to see you!” Remus tells him, voice full of fake cheer.  Severus facepalms.

“Do I want to know what’s behind that door?”  Remus and Severus look at each other awkwardly for a moment before Severus scratches his head and clears his throat.

“Did you need something?” He asks Lucius who seems equal parts amused, intrigued, and concerned.

“A baby sitter.  Need someone to watch Draco and Blaise.”

“Who’s Blaise?” Remus asks.

“Blaise Zabini, Ray’s son.  Bitch of a Mother,” Severus tells him.

“Ohh…say, Pat has a kid too, doesn’t he? Maybe ask him?” Remus suggests, Lucius narrows his eyes at the two in suspicion, “Look, you know I’d do anything for you lot.  But for safety reasons, I cannot allow a child into this house at the moment.”

“Then why can’t Sev watch them?” He asks, fishing for information now that his curiosity has been peaked.

“He’s staying here.  I burnt down his kitchen.  House isn’t safe.”  Lucius looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Did you really just try and lie to an Empath?” Remus winces.

“Not about it not being safe here.  Not just for kids but for anyone, including you,” Remus tells him.  Lucius feels the honesty in the words, and the shame coming off of Severus in waves that almost has Lucius losing his shit.  Remus’ worry and guilt doesn’t help that at all.

“You should get out of here Lucius,” Severus tells him, Lucius nods.

“I’m getting that impression, yes.  Where’s Jamie?”

“Staying with my parents.”  This more than anything convinces Lucius something serious is going on.

“You two know that if you’re in trouble, I’ll do whatever I can to help, right?” The two nod.

“Yes but, it’s probably for the best that you don’t get involved in this.” Lucius frowns.

“Danger or no, I have no wish to abandon those I call friends, family, even.” Remus and Severus exchange deliberating looks.  Finally Remus sighs.

“He may be able to help.” Severus looks downcast as he nods.  The two step away from the door, Lucius frowns as he walks forth, opening the door and peering in.

“What have you done?” He asks, disbelief in his voice.

“We didn’t kill them!” Remus tells him immediately, Lucius takes a calming breath before turning to Remus.

“And the chunks of eaten flesh?” He asks, trying to keep his voice as non-accusing as possible, Remus bites his lip nervously.

“I didn’t do it.”

“I-I did.”  Lucius raises a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“ _You_ did?” He asks Severus who shifts in uncharacteristic nervousness and nods.

They go on to explain everything that has happened, and by the end Lucius is just shaking his head repeatedly.

“So the potion’s healing properties remain in the corpses and that’s why all their parts are regrowing?” The two nod, “What is it you plan to do when you return to Hogwarts?” Lucius asks Severus who just slumps further into the couch.

“I don’t know.”

“They have potions that act as food supplements, could you modify one?” Severus looks to consider the prospect, then nods.

“I’d need one already made, a few days, the rest of my potion books, and more supplies, but…yes, yes, I believe I can,” He replies, looking moderately hopeful for the first time since this mess started.

“Now we just have to…Severus?” Remus asks, looking at him in concern, “Lucius, step away,” Remus tells him, Lucius does so.  Remus steps towards Severus, and the second he stands to make a move, Remus spins him and wraps arms around him to trap him.  He holds tight as Severus thrashes about, moving his head wildly back and forth in an attempt to get a bite.  Lucius suddenly collapses to the floor, gasping for air as one hand claws at the ground and the other at the side of his face, “Lucius?” Remus calls in concern, but his distraction is enough for Severus to pry himself free enough to spin in Remus’ arms.

Remus grabs him by the throat before he gets a bite in, holding him back.  It wouldn’t be a problem but Severus keeps trying to move forward and is thus strangling himself.  Lucius is now curled up in a ball on his side, scratching and clawing at his head as his body spasms periodically.

“SEVERUS DAMMIT SNAP OUT OF IT!” Remus yells at him, though he knows better than most how ineffective it will be, “Severus, please.  You are more than just your instincts.  This is not who you are,” He tells him, pleading with him to listen as he watches Lucius writhing on the floor nearby.  Then Severus stops struggling, and for a moment he fears the worst.

“R-Re…” Severus manages to say, Remus looks at him with wide eyes, loosening the hold on his neck.

“Sev?” He doesn’t seem entirely with it, but he’s not trying to kill him.  Remus slowly releases his hold, only for Severus to make an aborted move towards him.  Remus holds a hand out to stop him, but he’s already stopped moving.

Severus’ eyes are glassy and unfocused but he also seems to be following what’s happening if the concern on his face at Lucius is anything to go by.  Remus moves over to Lucius, keeping an eye on Severus out of the corner of his eye.

“Lucius?” Remus asks, putting a gentle hand on the man’s arm.  It takes a minute or two of gentle words before Lucius finally calms.

“Remy?” Lucius asks in a quiet voice, Remus tenses.  It’s that that brings the world back into focus for Lucius, “Sorry, Remus.”

“Are you all right?” He asks, bypassing the entire thing.  Lucius takes a deep breath, pushing himself into a sitting position.

“Didn’t have enough warning to shield myself against… _that_.”  Remus frowns, “On the other hand, I think we may be able to help him out with it.”

 

 

26th July 1982

It’s three days, and an angry conversation with Narcissa when Lucius remembers he came there for a reason and has just ditched his wife on their anniversary that he had forgotten about to begin with, later that Severus finishes his food supplement.

Remus is very glad when Lucius returns the corpses to their proper places after they’re sure it works.

Another thing they’ve discovered is that Severus doesn’t sleep.  At all.  Unfortunately, this whole ‘zombie’ thing isn’t an actual creature, it’s a biproduct of a potion gone wrong.  Thus, like with his heart stopping, it doesn’t make allowances for things humans need, like sleep. 

Good thing someone made a potion that prevents the need for sleep without losing your mind.  Remus thinks he’d like that as well but, unfortunately, it’s extremely addictive which is why it’s not allowed to be sold.  Really though, he has to take it for the rest of his life regardless of whether or not it’s addictive so…no harm done?

The only problem they have left is the need to spread.  Well, and Severus having no idea how to control strength he’s never had before.  Remus can count on one hand the amount of times he’s been glad to be a Werewolf, and this has got to take up three fingers at least.

Lucius’ idea, as it turns out, came from an understanding of what Severus is feeling without also being ruled by the instinct.

“It’s like a libido except it’s not sex it wants.  See, it’s not something he _needs_ , but it’s something he sure feels like he needs.”

“What’s your point?” Remus asked, Lucius had left abruptly on that first day and come back three hours later with a book from the library in his manor and a sheepish expression.

“There are all sorts of spells and potions that can regulate your libido.  I think we should be able to alter one to suppress, or at least partially suppress, the urge to spread.”

This had come second to the food supplement, but after that was done they threw themselves into this new plan, which, by then was an old plan…I suppose…

 

20th August 1982

It’s just over a week before Severus has to return to Hogwarts that they finish their eighth attempt.

“Eighth time’s lucky?” Remus offers, Severus glares at him before he downs the potion.

“How frequently do you think I’ll need to take that?” The other two exchange looks.

“There’s nothing harmful in it, take it once a day?  See how that goes?” Lucius suggests, Severus shakes his head with a sigh, “Well I’m sorry I’ve never done this before.”

 

Narcissa isn’t happy that it’s been about a month since Lucius has been home over night, though he did stop in to check up on things.

Jamie is practically a leech, refusing to be parted from Remus after she comes back home, usually clingling to his leg if not in his arms or on his lap.  On the other hand, he takes it as a perfect time to start teaching her how to read, the four-year-old picks it up quickly too.

 

12th October 1982

A month after school comes back Remus reads the Prophet.

**_New Outbreak at St Mungos_ **

**One week ago, a man brought his wife in after she attacked him unprovoked and then collapsed, heart growing still.  Terrified, he apparated both of them to the hospital where they were able to bring her back to life.**

**Sources say the woman bit three people who are now displaying the same symptoms as she, could this be some new type of creature?**

**If you are displaying these symptoms, healers request you report to the hospital immediately,**

  * **Aggressiveness towards people**
  * **Starvation**
  * **Chronic Insomnia**
  * **Cannibalistic tendencies**
  * **Lack of Heart Beat**
  * **Vomiting upon eating**



**Officials are requesting that anyone with information come forward.**

 

_Severus,_

_Have you read the paper?_

_I_ _’_ _ve anonymously sent them recipes for the potions_

_Remus_

 

_To whom it may concern,_

_The disease you are dealing with, as I_ _’_ _m sure you_ _’_ _re aware, is not your average disease.  It places its victims in a zombie-like state as they search for nourishment and address their need to spread._

 _Within this envelope you_ _’_ _ll find several potion recipes._

_The first is a substitute for their food source (Us)._

_The second regulates their instinct to spread._

_The third, I am sure you have already yet I include it just in case, is a potion to circulate the blood._

_The fourth negates the need for sleep.  It is well known to be highly addictive, but as they shall need to take it for the rest for their lives_ _…_ _well it_ _’_ _s this or insanity and death._

_I recommend the first to be taken at least three times a day, once a day, the third once every thirty-six hours, and the fourth once a week._

_I have no true cure, but these potions will render the affected people as close to their normal selves as they can get._

_I hope this helps_

 

He doesn’t sign the letter, he writes it with his left hand, along with a copy of all four recipes which he folds and places within the envelope.  He then goes to the post office and sends it off.

 

**_SAVED_ **

**Two days ago, an anonymous source sent St Mungos several potion recipes and a note detailing their use.**

**With these potions the healers were able to control the new** **‘** **zombie** **’** **disease that began its outbreak over a week ago.**

**Healers say these potions have rendered their patients completely harmless.  After a few more tests, they shall be reintegrated into society without a problem.  These potions will be made commercially available within a month. Until then, those affected shall need to receive batches of them from the hospital itself.**

**Whoever this anonymous sender is, we thank you.**

**_Zombie Classification_ **

**The Ministry for Magic placed Zombies on the list of Dark Creatures yesterday afternoon, along with passing a law which enforces the use of their** **‘** **life potions** **’** **.**

 **Zombies are now XXXX Creatures on the Ministry** **’** **s Dark Creature registry.**

 

Remus sighs as he reads this, at least they’re still an X below him?

 

_Remus,_

_I reiterate my earlier statement._

_Never again am I experimenting with new types of magic._

_That being said, it was not me that bit anyone though the original couple did come from Hogsmeade._

 

_Severus_

 

_Severus,_

_I_ _’_ _m going to check out the Graveyard._

_Remus_

Remus goes there that day, leaving Jamie with Lucius and promising to be back before dinner.  She agrees, though she cries, on the condition that they have pizza and ice-cream for dinner.  He figures it’s a worthy trade and is impressed with her thinking.

When he arrives he finds the male corpse half out of the ground, based on the dirt it appears to have pushed it’s own way out.  Sniffing the area, he knows the female is still buried properly.  Sniffing again he smells blood, not from the lady, nor Severus or himself.  This is new, and for once, new is definitely not good.

 

_Severus,_

_I don_ _’_ _t think those bodies were as dead as we believed.  I think they were waiting for a new person to bite._

 _I_ _’_ _ve buried them down deeper, now we just have to hope it_ _’_ _s too deep to crawl their way out of again._

_Remus_

_Remus,_

_If I still slept, that sentence would undoubtedly have given me nightmares for life._

_Now it will give me daymares._

_Severus_

 

Remus reads the letter and chuckles slightly as he bounces Draco in his arms, Jamie on the floor in front of him reading a children’s book with occasional help from him on tricky words, he hopes this is the end of it.

Boy does he hope.

 

 

30th November 1982

A few weeks before school finishes for the year, Remus is cleaning up when there’s a knock at the door.  He goes and answers it, shocked out of his mind to find Alastor Moody on the other side.

“Mad-Eye,” He says dumbly, Moody nods to him, looking rather unsure of himself in a way Remus has never seen, “What can I do for you?”

“Found something.  Wasn’t sure what to do with it but, Albus thought you should get it back.”  He hands over a paper bag, Remus frowns at it and looks inside, his breath catches in his throat.

“Where’d you find this?”

“’fraid I can’t tell you that.” Remus just nods, uncaring of how little sense any of this makes.

“Thank you.”  Moody nods.

“Look after yourself Remus,” He tells him, Remus nods, then Moody leaves.

Remus shuts the door and walks into the kitchen, sitting at the island bench as he takes the contents of the paper bag out and holds it in his hand. He cries, in fact he sobs, because this isn’t fair, none of this is fair, none of this should be happening, _IT SHOULDN_ _’_ _T BE HAPPENING!_ He reads words he had engraved long ago. 

_If found, please tell him to stop being an idiot and go home._

Remus flips over the collar’s tag as tears stream from his face, ugly sounding sobs being wrenched from a part of himself he hadn’t even realised was hurting. He should have known, no part of himself had escaped.

_Padfoot_


	41. Not Alone, Never Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot is happening very quickly. I don’t want to drag out the time before getting into Philosopher’s stone, so I’m trying to only include major events which is why it probably seems like everything is rushed even though it’s actually happening over years.  
> Apologies for that.  
> Little things that happen that I still wnat to tell are going to either be said through stories and/or memories later or will be in a side story filled with missing scenes that I'll be starting soon.

Chapter 41

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

17th December, 1982

Remus Lupin comes home from working at a library, he’s just been fired again.  They hadn’t minded he was a Werewolf when they worked it out, but constantly needing time off and showing up looking like death was simply too hard to accommodate.  He’s glad, at least, that Jamie is now okay with Lucius and Narcissa watching her while he goes to work when he has a job, she likes playing with Draco and the other kids when they’re around.  She’ll be at school next September, he’s worried about how she’ll take that.

“There you are, Remus, come with me.” Remus looks up to see Severus standing in his kitchen, he frowns.

“Why are you in my house Severus?”

“So that you’ll come with me, obviously.”

“Look, Sev, I’ve had a bad day, so whatever this is, can it wait til I wake up from my five-hundred-year long nap?” Severus walks over, grabbing his shoulders.

“Draco’s going to be there, God-Father duties, we’re going to his first bonfire.  Come on now,” Severus declares before flooing over to the estate he and Regulus had lived in.  Remus was under the impression he’d moved into his family’s old place in Spinner’s End, though he knew he spends most of the year at Hogwarts as teacher now.  It’s been over a year since the war ended, for Remus though, it seems like yesterday he found Peter’s hideout empty, he thinks it probably always will.

“I suppose if it’s God-Father duties, I have no choice.” Remus can’t help but think of Hermione, and her Mother.  Del’s in a muggle prison in England, serving a life sentence for reasons she won’t admit to.

Remus floos to the Black Estate and uses his Werewolf hearing to find the others.  He finds the Malfoy’s, Jamie, and Severus standing outside, Draco immediately runs over to him.

“Uncle Re!” The almost three-year-old calls happily, Remus smiles, bending down to catch the little lad and hoist him onto his hip.

“Hello little Dragon, how are you?” Draco smiles, “Is Draco good?”

“Yeah!”

“Daddy!  I missed you!” Jamie tells him, he kneels down to hug her.

“I missed you too Princess,” Remus tells his daughter, “Narc, how lovely to see you again,” Remus greets, Narcissa hugs him.

“It’s nice to see you too Remus,” She replies, Lucius hugs Remus as well.

“What’s this about a bonfire?” Severus gives a forced smile.

“Well, you see, I had a bad night and didn’t get much done,” Translation: I had a horrible flashback and/or panic attack about everything and ended up too shaky and weak to uncurl from the ball I was no doubt in, “I decided some closure was in order,” He tells them, “We’re burning down the house.”

“We’re what now?” Lucius asks, Severus smiles for real.

“The house, we’re burning it down.  I couldn’t work out how to make it happen, figured our arsonist might be able to, and that perhaps you’d all like to watch it burn as well.” Narcissa looks at him like he’s insane for a moment before seeing Lucius looking at the house with a haunted air.  They couldn’t burn every building that represented something horrible, but this they could do.  And if it gave their friend some measure of closure over the loss of many loved ones, but one in particular, then so be it.

“I do want only the best for my Son, I can’t think of a better first bonfire, even if I was never planning on taking him to a bonfire anyway,” She declares, Lucius nods, the three turn to Remus who looks at the building appraisingly.

“I have an idea.”

 

Ten minutes later the entire house is up in flames.

“You realise that, in your name or not, this was illegal, right?” Remus asks Severus who nods.

“I’m aware.”

“Pretty,” Draco says, eyes watching the flames. 

“Now Jamie, remember, you must never set anything on fire without permission from an adult, right?”

“I know Daddy,” She replies, watching the fire, as transfixed as Draco.  They stand at a safe distance to watch it burn, and thus are out of view when people arrive to put out the fire.

“We should go,” Narcissa declares, they all agree.

They go to Diagon Alley and get ice-cream before stopping off to get some books and finally returning to Malfoy Manor.

“We have the Zabinis coming over this evening, the Parkinsons, and the Knotts as well.  I’m sure they’d all be happy to see you both, if you’d like to stay,” Lucius offers, Remus hesitates.  On the one hand, he hasn’t spoken with those people since he was freed of his capture during the war.  It isn’t that he is angry, it wasn’t anything personal and he knows that, he just hadn’t been in a position to keep up the contact.  Now he’s been avoiding most everyone from the old days since the war ended.  Still, he supposes he can’t allow the war to control the rest of his life, he refuses to keep fighting a war that ended over a year ago.

“I’d like that,” He replies, Severus agrees as well though immediately begins thinking of reasons he can’t stay for dinner.

 

 

3rd September 1983

“DADDY!” Remus jolts awake as his daughter comes streaming into the room and pounces on his bed, “School today!  We have to get ready to go!”

“Jamie, it’s 5am, we don’t need to be there until 9.”

“Exactly, WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!” Remus looks at his daughter and sighs.

“Breakfast?” She nods excitedly.

“Can you do my hair like Uncle Sev does?” Remus nods.

“Go grab two hair ties, I’ll put some muffins on.”

“Is Dragon and Uncle Lu still coming to drop me off?” Remus nods.

“They’ll be here in a few hours.”

 

Four hours later, Jamie Twyla Loraine Lupin steps into her classroom at her new school in Gard, adorable pigtails on her head in ‘Uncle Sev’s style’, which really just means they’re uneven.  He figures it’s fine so long as she’s happy.

“Hello, and who might you be?” A young woman asks Jamie in French.  Obviously, they’re in France, all of this is happening in French.

“Jamie Lupin,” She says proudly, shaking the hand offered to her.

“It’s nice to meet you Jamie, I’m Mrs Pretford, your teacher.  Is this your father?” Jamie nods.

“Hi, I’m Remus.”

“Liz, it’s lovely to meet you, and who’s this?” Liz asks Jamie, looking to Draco.

“My cousin Dragon, and that’s my Uncle Lu.” Lucius sighs at the name, Remus snickers at him.

“Lucius, and my son Draco.  We just came to see Jamie off.”

“Ah, that’s nice. And what about your Mum Jamie, is she at work?” Jamie frowns, shaking her head.

“No, she hasn’t been around in a while.  Daddy said she did something bad and has to be kept in a big building with other people who made bad dec-decishons,” Jamie explains, Remus tenses slightly, Lucius looking shiftily between Father and Daughter.

“Ah, fascinating.  Well, Jamie, would you like to pick out a desk for yourself?  Draco can go with you to choose if you’d like.”  Jamie nods, taking Draco’s hand and walking further into the room, “Mother in prison?” She asks Remus who nods, “Any post-traumatic symptoms we should be looking for in Jamie?”

“Only that she doesn’t do brilliantly being parted from me.  That’s why I asked Lucius to come along, she’s used to him looking after her while I’m at work so I hoped his presence would sort of prepare her for me leaving.” Liz nods.

“May I ask what her mother is in prison for?” Remus sighs, folding in on himself slightly.

“Um, a whole slew of bad things including several counts of murder.” Liz’s eyes widen, “Yeah Jamie hasn’t seen her since she was…about a year old and we don’t tend to talk about her much.  I really have no idea if she even remembers her anymore.  A lot was going on at the time.” Liz nods again.

“Right, well, I’ll get you all to say goodbye now and we’ll see how things go.”

“Jamie,” Remus calls, Jamie looks up from where she and Draco had been looking at the class fish, Remus gestures her over so she leads her cousin back to them, “We’re going to go now, I’ll be back to get you after school, okay?” Jamie looks nervous, biting her lip nervously as she nods.

“Okay.  But you’ll come back, right?” Remus nods, kneeling down to hug her.

“I will, I promise.  Time will fly by.”

“Only if you throw the clock.” Remus looks at his daughter in amusement.

“I don’t know how to respond to that.”  She giggles before moving to hug her Uncle.

“Bye Uncle Lu.”

“Good bye Jamie.  I shall see you after school tomorrow.”  Jamie nods, remembering that she’ll be staying with him for a day or two though she doesn’t know it’s because the full moon is tomorrow, nor does she know that Remus really could have used those few extra hours of sleep this morning.

“Bye Bye Jam.”

“Bye Dragon, give Auntie Cissa a hug for me.”

“Yup.”

“Bye Daddy.”

“Have fun baby girl, I’ll see you soon.”

 

In the end, it’s Remus who has more trouble with the separation.

 

 

20th December 1983

Severus shows up at Remus’ house looking worried.

“What’s wrong?”

“Draco’s had some kind of fit.  Lucius says he was unresponsive for a good five minutes and then passed out.  He took him to a healer but they can’t find anything wrong with him.” Remus chews on his lip in concern.

“Is-is he okay, though?” Severus nods.

“He says he was dreaming like he does at night.  Some girl, says he loves her.” Remus raises an eyebrow, “I’m just telling you what Lucius told me, Draco doesn’t seem worried, says he doesn’t mind seeing her more.  Says she needs him right now because bad stuff happened and she’s upset and alone and scared.”

“What does that mean?  Is it like your visions?”  He didn’t talk about them much unless something bad happens, but Remus knows he sees mundane things frequently.  Nothing big or important or far in the future, not since the Potters died.

“I’ve never passed out from a vision, nor have I dreamt one.” Remus sighs, stopping pacing though he hadn’t noticed he had started.

“We’ll figure this out.”

“I know we will.”

 

 

19th January 1986

“I _hate_ children!” Severus declares as he exits the floo, Remus looks up from where he was making dinner, quickly grabbing some of the potion-shakes he keeps for Severus and shaking it up.

“I’m quite certain that when it comes to your students, the feeling is mutual.”

“Why thank you, oh so helpful one.” Remus chuckles, checking on the vegetables for his and Jamie’s dinner.

“What happened?” Severus sighs, moving to grab a plate for Remus and Jamie and set the table.

“I just don’t have any patience for teaching, I’ve never gotten along with children and all their incessant questioning.  Potions can be so blasted dangerous you can’t just _not_ pay attention.  They may not realise this, but I don’t actually want them dead.  It would cause so much trouble for me, legally speaking. Besides, Dora and Charlie Weasley are a nightmare. They aren’t even in the same year! How are they always together and causing trouble?!”

“You could always turn into your Animagus form, they’ll think you’re so adorable they’ll be unable to do anything to annoy you?” Remus suggests, privately thinking that Severus has been paranoid about potions going wrong ever since the ‘zombie’ incident.  Okay, maybe that isn’t paranoia, seeing as it happened. Severus glares at him, “It worked on Draco and Pansy,” He says with a shrug.

“No, it didn’t, they started tugging on my tail!”

“Oh yeah, forgot how that ended.” Severus sighs, sinking into a chair at the table as Remus puts his food out and hands him his ‘drink’, “If only you looked as intimidating in animal form as you do as a human bat.” Severus chuckles, Remus counts it as a win, “JAMIE, DINNER!”

“Alas, I am but a silky furred fox.”

“Cute either way though,” Remus reassures, Severus laughs.

“Plus, my teeth are pointy.”

“MY FANGS ARE NOT BLUNT!” The two look at each other before laughing hard, “I spoke to Phia the other day, she says hi.  Says Harry’s doing well but Vernon doesn’t let her visit anymore and Petunia’s given in.”

“Petunia won’t even respond to me anymore,” Severus tells him, Remus nods.

“Nor me beyond a short letter I got at the end of last year that said Harry hadn’t done great at school.”

“In the care of that twat she calls a husband, can you be surprised?”

“No at all,” Remus says with a shake of his head.  Severus seems to hesitate for a while before he looks back up at Remus.

“Remus, do you want to go to dinner some time?” Remus looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Severus, we’re having dinner now.” Severus laughs.

“No, I mean, I mean on a date.”

“You’re asking me out?” He asks, eyes wide with surprise, then a smile crosses his face as Severus nods, “I, um, yes, yes I’d like that.”

“Brilliant!  Now, I’ve complained about my day, how was yours?”  Remus opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted as his eight-year-old daughter comes into the room, sees Severus, and sprints over despite seeing him frequently.

“Uncle Sev!  Guess what I did at school today!”

 

20th February 1986

“Narc?” Remus calls as he walks into Malfoy Manor, Lucius comes around the corner, “Lucius, is your wife home?”

“You can never just stop by to see an old friend, can you?  Come on, she and Draco are making cookies.”

“Has Narcissa ever been in a kitchen before?” Remus asks suspiciously, Lucius laughs and shakes his head.

“No, it is…not going well.”

“I hope you aren’t burning down another house,” Remus says as they walk into the kitchen.

“UNCLE REMUS!” Six-year-old Draco calls happily, covered in flour.  Remus hugs him close, “Why are you afraid?” Remus looks at the boy in confusion before looking to Lucius who nods.  Draco had inherited his father’s empathy.

“I’m not afraid, Draco.  I’m nervous.”

“What does that mean?” Remus thinks of a synonym the boy would understand.  Anxious, trepidation, they were rather big words.

“It means that something is coming up and I’m worried about how it will go.”

“Isn’t worrying the same as being afraid?”

“Not necessarily, it’s a fine line.”

“What does that mean?” Remus smiles at the boy, he could see why Severus found the constant questions annoying, but he always found it endearing.

“It means that they are very close to meaning the same thing and only slightly different.”

“Oh, well, what are you nervous for?” Remus ruffles the child’s hair, ignoring Lucius’ protests.

“I don’t know, I suppose really, it doesn’t matter.  Things will be okay in the end.”

“Did you need to speak with me?” Narcissa asks, Remus chuckles.

“I did, but I think your Son solved my problem.” Narcissa smiles and nods.

“He does that.  What were you nervous for?”

“I have a date tonight.” Draco gasps.

“Did Uncle Sev ask you?” Remus smiles and nods, Draco claps happily, “Can I be in the wedding when you two get married?” Narcissa hides her laugh behind her hand as Lucius chuckles under his breath.

“Just because two people enter a relationship doesn’t mean they’ll get married Draco, it’s only a date.” Draco frowns, tilting his head to the side in an eerily familiar way that Remus can’t quite place.

“But Mother and Father say that you two are prac-practic-ally married.” Remus looks at the couple in question who are suddenly interested in other things.

“We’ll see how things go, but I promise, if I ever do get married, regardless of who to, you can be in the wedding.” Draco smiles widely.

“Yay!”

“So you aren’t nervous anymore?” Narcissa asks Remus who shakes his head.

“It’s Sev, you know?  If it goes badly, I won’t lose him.” Narcissa nods.

“Quite right.”

 

They go to dinner at a restaurant in Gard, France.  It’s just down the road from Remus’ place and they both love it, anytime they go out they go there.  Though Severus is depressed he can’t eat the food there anymore.  They haven’t actually been here in a few years for obvious reasons, but they get Remus’ take out from the place a lot.  Severus subtly switches his drink out for his potion and slowly makes his way through that instead.  Lucius and Narcissa had readily agreed, a little too readily if you ask Remus, to babysit Jamie, Draco excited to see his cousin despite seeing each other a few times a week.

As the evening progresses and both enjoy the night, Remus realises nothing’s really changed about their behaviour.

“Oh, before I forget, Pat invited us to Pansy’s birthday party.  He said to tell you it’s the weekend before the actual date instead of the weekend after like normal because his wife noticed it’s a full.  Anyways, I remembered that the dinner at your parents is the weekend before that so I said we’d be happy to be there, as usual.”  Remus nods, thinking that if anything good came out of his year spent as a PoW, it’s that all of them know about his furry little problem. (RIP Flop.)

“Brilliant, Mum wanted to remind you you said you’d bring that salad from last time.” Severus nods with a smile.

“Yes, she called me as well, I suppose she really loves it.” They both chuckle, and that’s when Remus realises.

“Holy crap we’re married.” Severus looks at him in confusion, “Sorry, something Draco said.”

“Draco said we’re married?”

“No, he said we’re practically married, or at least, that’s what his parents have been saying.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Severus tells him, Remus chuckles.

“Sev, think over the conversation we just had.”  He does so.  After a few moments of silence his eyes widen.

“Everyone saw this coming except us, didn’t they?”

“Most definitely.  Also, Draco’s an empath.”  Severus nods.

“Yes, I had my suspicions about that.  We’d best make sure he never casts the curse his idiot Father tried.” Remus shudders.

“I’d hope he’s never in a situation where he feels he has to.” Severus frowns, leaning back in his chair.

“So do I but…” Remus frowns at him, reaching out and grabbing the hand he has on the table.

“What is it?” Severus leans forward again to speak quietly.

“The vision I had, years ago.  About the battle in Hogwarts, the boy I saw that looked like James, it was Harry.  He had the scar,” Severus says, touching his forehead, “and if that was Harry then Draco had to have been there too, they’ll be in the same year.” Remus sighs, drawing circles on the back of Severus’ hand.

“Sev, I know you’re worried.  But you said they looked what, seventeen at the time?” Severus nods, “That’s over a decade away.  If anything is happening, I doubt it’s starting any time soon.”

“Last time it built up over a decade, and we both know you-know-who isn’t dead,” He says quietly, Remus looks at him, brows furrowed.

“You think that’s who was behind the battle?  Or, will be, as it were, or is, you know what I mean.”

“The people I saw fighting, the ones you were all fighting against, they were Death Eaters.  I didn’t recognise them at the time, obviously, but I know those faces now, and I know those marks personally.  It was _his_ army.” Remus bites his lip. _This Draco, this is not nervousness, this is being afraid_ , He thinks.

“Did you ever mention this vision to Albus?” Severus shakes his head, “Okay, my Dad still has contacts in the ministry.  I’ll ask him to keep an ear out for any trouble.  We’ll protect all of them, no matter what,” Remus tells him, Severus knows he means all the children frequently left in their care.  Jamie, Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Theodore, Vincent, Gregory, Astoria, and Daphne.  And of course Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley children.  While they hadn’t seen them since the funerals, five years ago, they wrote to the Wealseys on occasion to check up on everyone. 

“I don’t want to watch you die again Remus.” Remus smiles at him.

“You won’t.  Not like that at least.  We’ll make sure of it.”

 

 

7th March 1986, Lupin/Snape household, Gard, France.

Severus is home for the weekend to celebrate Remus’ birthday.  They’ve been together a month and a half now, so far quite happily.  Severus and Remus had decided Severus would move in during the Summer when school’s out.  On Sunday they’ll go to the Lupins’ place for a birthday lunch with Remus’ parents and sister, tomorrow they are going to the Malfoys’, where Jamie is staying tonight, for the same thing with their friends.  But tonight, it is just the two of them.  Or it is, until there’s a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it, you just relax,” Severus tells him, Remus smiles, happily accepting the kiss Severus gives him before going to answer the door.  He sips his wine as he waits to hear if he needs to get up to deal with anything, “Re!  On second thought, I think you should come here.”  Remus nods, sighing as he puts down the wine glass and joins his boyfriend.  Remus cringes, he hates that term, it sounds so juvenile.  Partner is better but can be used platonically which bugs him because he feels like he’s trying to hide or disguise his relationship.  Remus sighs at himself because he knows he’s being ridiculous.

“What’s going o– Heidi?”  A girl stands on the other side of the door, the girl has deep chocolate hair and hazel eyes, she jiggles her knee slightly in nervousness.

“Hi Re.”

“What are you doing here?” He asks in confusion, Heidi clears her throat awkwardly before stepping back slightly.

“Maybe this wasn’t the best way to do this…”

“To do what?” Remus asks, Heidi scratches at her head.  She’s only twenty years old.  Remus had dated her for three months two years ago, only to realise he just wasn’t ready for anything emotionally serious given…everything that had occurred a mere three years before.  He’d been annoyed, really, when he first decided to put himself back out there.  Thought after three years he should have gotten over everything, but he hadn’t, and in the end, he’d had no choice but to accept that.  Nothing else was fair on Heidi, who really is a lovely girl.  It had been a bit of a messy end to the relationship, but they’d parted on good terms, they haven’t spoken since.

“I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t know how,” She tells him, then she shakes her head, “But there’s no choice now.  Remus I’m um-crap this isn’t easy.”  Tears fall down her face now, Remus steps out, wrapping his arms around her, unsure what else to do, “I’m dying.”  Remus jolts backwards, Severus gasps.  He, even before getting together with Remus, has spent the majority of his time since the war at Remus’ house and thus had spent quite a lot of time with the girl before him while she was dating Remus.

“You’re what?”

“Yeah, um, cancer.  They say I don’t have long, a few weeks, maybe a couple of months.”

“Oh Heidi…” Heidi shakes her head.

“This isn’t why I’m here, it’s just the reason for why I’m here.”  Remus frowns, Severus tilting his head to the side in confusion, “Right that didn’t really make sense, did it?”

“Not really no,” Severus replies, Remus stomps on his foot, “Ow.”

“Look, hard as it is, me dying…I’m not what’s important.  Someone has to look after them, that’s why I’m here.”

“Them who?” Remus asks, Heidi fidgets again, “Heidi?”

“Our twins.”  Remus blinks at her.

“…come again?”

“I wanted to tell you, but you weren’t exactly the most stable person and you yourself said you couldn’t deal with a serious emotional commitment.  A child is a far bigger commitment than a relationship, let alone two, you were having a hard enough time coping with Jamie.  I thought I was doing what was best for them but, well.  Like I said, there’s no choice now.”  Remus continues staring at her in shock, Severus clears his throat.

“So, what’s the plan then?” He asks her, she nods.

“I was hoping that I could introduce them to you guys, give them a chance to get to know you with me before…” Severus nods, Heidi turns back to Remus, “They don’t have anyone else Remus, and you’re their father.  Please, tell me you’ll look after them.”

“I-I-yes, of course, of course I will,” Remus replies, still looking dazed but nodding all the same, Heidi looks as though the weight of the world has been taken off her shoulders.

“Maybe the three of you should stay here until…” Severus trails off, “Well, you know.  Then the kids can get used to the new environment and you can spend as much time with them as possible.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” Heidi replies.

“It’s not an imposition, I think it’s a good idea,” Remus tells her, “That is, if you want to.”  Heidi thinks about it for a moment before nodding, “Do you want to come in?  This is a rather personal conversation to be having on a front door step.”

“Where are they anyway?” Severus asks.

“In the car,” Heidi says, jerking her thumb over her shoulder, “I’ll uh, I’ll go get them.”

“So…you’re a dad, again,” Severus says quietly to Remus who breaths in a deep breath, it comes out rather shakily.

“Apparently so,” Remus responds.

“You okay with that?”

“I don’t know.  Not at the moment.  I’ll work out how to be, they’re going to need me.”  Severus wraps an arm around him, leaning his head against his shoulder.

“You won’t be alone.”  Remus smiles at him, taking his hand.

“I know.  Just once though, just once a little bit of warning on an impending child would be nice.”

Heidi walks back up, juggling a bag and two babies.  Severus hurries forward, taking the bag from her as Remus walks up.

“Do you, uh, want me to take one of them?” Remus asks awkwardly, Heidi smiles, nodding and handing one over to him.  They go in to the house. 

Once they are all in the living room, they all sit down on couches, one twin in Remus’ arms and the other in Heidi’s.

“I’ve shown them pictures of you,” Heidi blurts out, Remus smiles, misty eyed as he looks down at the child, _his_ child, in his arms.

“What’s his name?”

“Sevrin Susi Lupin.” Remus and Severus both look surprised, “I kept your Sons from you, I figured the least I could do was give him a name I thought you’d like.  You told me once if you ever had a child you’d name him, in some way, after Severus.  Also, um, this is Benoit.  Benoit Lunaire Lupin.”  Remus feels tears falling from his eyes.

“Lunaire?” Severus asks, Heidi shrugs.

“You both used to track the moon like your lives depended on it, I thought it was fitting.  It means Lunar in French.”

“Is Susi French for something then?” Severus asks, he speaks French quite well, especially since Remus has been living here for so long now, but he’s never heard this word.  Remus facepalms.

“No, actually, it’s Finnish.”  Severus’ face twitches.

“Is it?  I didn’t know.  It’s my cousin’s name.”

“The one that raised you?” Remus asks, Heidi nods.

“What does it mean?” Heidi wonders, Remus sighs.

“Wolf.  It means wolf.” Severus snickers, Remus glares at him, “And it’s a great name so you can shu…sh.  You can shush.”

“He’s so tiny,” Severus comments,  Heidi reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small parcel, handing it over to Remus, “Hi, I’m Severus,” Severus tells the baby in his romantic partner’s (Remus is right, that is just not a good term) arms, Sevrin looks confused, “Yes, it is a bit of a mouthful.  We’ll work on it.”

“Do you want to say hi to Benni?” Heidi asks Severus who walks over as Remus pauses in opening the package to look up.

“Hi there Little Benni.”

“Oh wow,” Remus says as gets the package open, inside are pictures of the twins since they’ve been born, “When’s their birthday?

“5th of May 1985,” Heidi replies.

“So they aren’t even one yet,” Severus realises, Heidi shakes her head.

“I um…I probably won’t be around for their birthday so…I’ve got presents for them, I was hoping you’d give it to them?” Remus looks at her, sadness in his eyes as he nods.

An hour later Heidi takes the kids home, they decided they’ll go to her place in the morning and start moving the essentials over so that they can start living here tomorrow night.

Remus says goodbye to both children, misty-eyed as the car drives away.

“To Lucius’ place?” Severus asks once the others have left.

“Oh yeah.”

 

“Re, Sev, we weren’t expecting you until tomorrow,” Narcissa says when the two find them in the sitting room of their manor.

“I’m a father,” Remus bursts out, the other two look confused.

“…yes, well done,” Lucius replies hesitantly, Severus rolls his eyes.

“What he _means_ to say is that he does not have one child, he has three.” Lucius and Narcissa look to Remus in shock, Remus sits down on a couch.

“You remember Heidi?”

“Yes I believe you mentioned her on occasion.”

“Turns out she has twins.  Or, well, _we_ have twins.” Lucius’ eyes widen in shock.

“Oh.”

“Remus, do we need to have a discussion about birth control?” Narcissa asks seriously, Remus sighs.

“Heidi’s dying.  She and the twins are coming to live with us until…until she’s gone and then,” Remus sighs, dropping his head into his hands, “Then I will be raising three children who have lost their Mothers in various different ways.”  Narcissa comes to sit beside Remus, taking one of his hands in hers.

“What are their names?” She asks him quietly.

“Benoit and Sevrin.”

“Tell them the middle names,” Severus requests with a smirk, Remus gives him a dirty look.

“Heidi was trying to be considerate, quit being a dick.”

“What are their middle names?”

“Sevrin Susi and Benoit Lunaire.” Lucius looks amused.

“Lunaire, huh?”

“She noticed we pay a lot of attention to the moon, she thought it was fitting which is very kind of her, trying to include my life in theirs when I wasn’t around,” He says, giving Severus a pointed look.

“The other one was an accident, apparently.  Her cousin’s name, didn’t even know it was Finnish.”

“What’s it Finnish for?” Lucius asks, Narcissa sighs, rubbing Remus’ back soothingly.

“Wolf.”  Lucius and Severus laugh lightly.

“Honestly, both of you!  This is a big moment, we have two new members of our family, and you are making fun of them and their father.”  They both look thoroughly chastised.

“Thank you Narc.”

“You ought to tell Jamie first thing in the morning.”  Remus nods.

“I will.”

 

8th March 1986

Eight-year-old Jamie wakes up when something heavy jumps on her.

“Dragon!  Get off!”

“But it’s breakfast and mummy said we can’t eat ‘til you waked up!”

“It’s _woke_ up.” Six-year-old Draco huffs as he sits on his cousin’s hip, “Actually that still doesn’t sound right…” Draco rolls his eyes.

“C’mon!  Uncle Sev and Uncle Remus are here.” Jamie bolts upright.

“They are?!”

“Ow!” Draco whines from the ground where he’d tumbled when she sat up so suddenly.

“Sorry Dragon!”

“M’fine,” He says though his voice is whimpery. 

“Breakfast?” She suggests in an attempt to cheer him up, he grins and the two race downstairs.

“Young Master Malfoy and Mistress Lupin shouldn’t be running in the halls,” A house-elf reminds them, they both slow down.

“Sorry Dobby.”

“Daddy!” Jamie yells excitedly as she runs over to him, he catches her as she leaps at him and hugs her close.

“Hey there Baby Girl,” He greets, she giggles.

“I missed you Daddy.”

“I missed you too sweetpea.”  Remus sighs, putting her down and kneeling down to be eyelevel with her, “Jamie, I have some news.”

“What is it Daddy?” She asks, tilting her head to the side in question.  He ignores how much it reminds him of Padfoot.

“Do you remember when we had that talk about where babies come from?” She nods.

“Yep,” She replies, popping the ‘p’, “You said that when two people love each other and want to have a family they make one.  Everything after that sounded icky,” She says, screwing her nose up in distaste.  Severus snickers, Narcissa looks amused, Lucius just shakes his head fondly.

“Right, well, the news is, you’re going to have two new little brothers.” Her eyes widen.

“You and Uncle Sev made a baby?” Lucius chokes on his tea, Narcissa hiding her laughter in a napkin as she dabs at her mouth unnecessarily.

“Um, not exactly, no,” Remus responds, “They have a Mummy, her name is Heidi.  Do you remember Heidi at all?  She used to come over a lot when you were younger.”  Jamie furrows her brows as she thinks, then she nods.

“She looked like Auntie Alice.” Remus nods slowly.

“Yes, I suppose she does a bit.  Anyway, she’s your brothers’ mummy.”  He pulls one of the photos Heidi had given him and shows his daughter, “That’s Heidi, and those are the twins.”  She looks at the photo in amazement.

“Those are my brothers?”

“Uhuh.  Now, the three of them are going to be living with us, they’re moving in today.”

“I don’t have to share my room, do I?” Remus chuckles, shaking his head.

“No sweetie, you don’t have to share your room.”

“Okay.  I guess that’s cool then.” Remus sighs, internally blaming his own twin for that sentence.

 

Severus, Remus, and Jamie return home.

“Severus, would you stay here with Jamie, I’ll go around to Heidi’s place?”

“Sounds good.”

 

“Heidi, hi,” Remus says as she opens her door, she smiles, standing aside to let him in.

“Hi, come on in.”

“Severus is at home with Jamie, I was thinking, if you’re comfortable with it, the twins could stay there as well while we make trips?” Heidi nods.

“I’m sort of surprised you didn’t bring Jamie here with you.  As I recall she gets very antsy when you aren’t within reaching distance.”  Remus nods.

“She’s still like that sometimes but, if it’s Severus, her Aunt and Uncle, or my parents, she’s usually okay.”

“She’s not too put out about us moving in, is she?”

“She said as long as she doesn’t have to share her room it’s all cool.”

“She said ‘it’s all cool?’” Heidi asks, Remus sighs.

“I blame my sister for that.”

“Phia, right?” Remus nods, “Well, anyways, I started packing last night, we don’t really have much.  It’s mainly just the twins’ stuff left to pack.”

The two get started, making sure the twins are in sight of one of them at all times.

 

A few hours later, Heidi’s car is packed and they’re making the first of what they estimate will be only two trips.

“Listen, Remus, I am sorry about dropping this all on you.” Remus frowns, shaking his head as he looks to Heidi where she drives the car.

“No, don’t be ridiculous, this is hardly your fault Heidi.” She sighs, shaking her head.

“It’s less the fact that I’m…well…not going to be around to help for very long,” She tells him, seeming tense, he winces, “It’s us turning up out of nowhere.  I should have had more faith in you, should have told you.”  Remus lets out a large breath of air.

“Heidi, if you’d told me two years ago I’d probably downed a bottle of the nearest alcoholic beverage, and the next, and the next so quickly that I ended up in hospital getting my stomach pumped.  Much as I would like to think I could have been there for you, and certainly would have tried, you were right.  I was barely dealing with Jamie.”

“But you’re doing better now, right?” She asks, he hesitates, then nods slowly.

“Yeah I uh…I am,” He says, sounding surprised as he realises he really is.

“Good.”

 

When they arrive it’s to the sound of crying, Remus sighs, getting Benni out of the car while Heidi grabs Sevrin.  They leave the stuff in the car as they go inside to find out what happened.  They find flour everywhere and multiple eggs on the floor along with Severus holding Jamie in his arms as she cries.

“Um…” Heidi says awkwardly, Severus and Jamie both look over, Jamie no longer crying.

“You both look like deer caught in headlights,” Remus comment lightly.

“Why is Uncle Prongs in headlights?” Jamie asks, Severus looks confused as Remusturns to look at her in shock.

“Uncle Prongs?” Heidi asks, Remus chuckles.

“Um, old joke about a school buddy, he forgot the word for antlers when talking about a stag and called them Prongs, we used to call him that to make fun of him for it.” Heidi looks bemused.

“Sounds like an interesting guy.”  Remus bounces Benoit slightly, nodding.

“He was, yeah.” There’s a tense silence for a few moments, “So what exactly happened here?”

“We were trying to make lunch for you both,” Jamie tells him, Severus looks sheepish.

“Okay, lets get back to that later.  Jamie, want to come meet your brothers?” Jamie nods, squirming out of Severus’ grip and skipping over, “Jamie, this is Benoit.” Jamie looks confused.

“Benna?”

“No, ben waa.”

“Ohh, hi Benoit,” Jamie says to her brother with a bright smile, she frowns, “Why doesn’t he say hi?”

“Benni’s too young.  He’ll start talking in the next few months.”

“Oh, cool!”

“And this is Sevrin,” Heidi tells her, kneeling down in front of her with the baby.

“Wow! Can I hold him?” She asks, Heidi looks to Remus who shrugs, Heidi nods.

“Sure, come and sit down.”  Watching Heidi manoeuvre the baby on Jamie’s lap reminds Remus of James doing the same thing to Remus with Harry.  His chest aches and he looks away, hands shaking slightly.

“Remus?” Severus asks quietly as he walks over, careful not to alert the other two.

“Can you take Benni?” Severus takes the child from Remus who leans his back against a wall, taking careful breaths.

“What’s going on?”

“I-I just-um…” Remus bends over, resting his hands on his knees.

“Daddy?” Jamie asks, Severus internally curses, Remus looks up, a forced smile on his face as he stands up straight.

“Yeah baby girl?”

“Are you okay Daddy?”

“Yeah sweetie, I’m fine.”  Jamie frowns at him but goes back to looking at her brother.

“Neville’s face is squishy like this,” She tells Heidi who raises an eyebrow.

“Who’s Neville?”

“My Auntie Alice and Uncle Frank’s baby.  He’s my cousin.  You look like my Auntie Alice, she’s pretty too.” Heidi smiles at her.

“Thank you, you’re pretty as well.” Jamie beams at her, “How old is Neville?”

“I don’t know, we haven’t seen him in a while.  Not since Auntie Alice and Uncle Frank went into the hostipal.”

“Hospital,” Severus corrects, Jamie nods.

“Oh, are they okay?” Heidi asks, Jamie frowns.

“No, Mummy hurt them.” Remus looks up in alarm as Heidi looks over to him.

“How did you…?”

“The nurse told me.  Then the Healer got angry with her, I don’t think she was ‘sposed to tell me.” Remus’ hands clench, “Daddy, why did Mummy hurt them?”

“I-I…” Remus breaths heavily, Heidi’s eyes widen as she realises what’s happening.

“Jamie, sweetie, do you want to come with me to show the twins our room?” Jamie frowns, looking to Severus who nods at her.

“Okay,” She says, Heidi takes Sevrin from her and then Benoit from Severus before following the eight-year-old out of the room.

“Remus?” Severus asks Remus who slides to the floor against the wall.

 _Remus sits in the centre of his cell.  Not that he has much choice.  That_ _’_ _s where he_ _’_ _s chained.  Even if he did get free, the walls have silver in them.  Even just here in the centre he can feel it, smell it, he can_ _’_ _t escape it._

 _The door opens,_ she _enters, looking at him and giggling._

 _“_ _Oh Remy, it_ _’_ _s a shame how quick you heal.  It_ _’_ _s okay though, it just means we can have more fun._ _”_ _Remus whimpers, trying to pull away from her as she walks forward, straddling him, she grins manically at him as he tries to get away and can_ _’_ _t, the chains are too short, and he has nowhere to go.  She leans in, whispering in his ear,_ _“_ _Crucio._ _”_

“Re, come on, focus on me,” Severus tells him, Remus blinks rapidly as he sees his lover before him.

“Inamorato,” Remus tells him, Severus frowns in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s an Italian word for a person’s male lover.  What do you think?” Severus chuckles, nodding.

“I like it, my inamorato.” Remus smiles, leaning into the offered embrace.

“I’m sorry, it just –”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Heidi was right to keep them from me.”  Severus holds him tighter.

“You aren’t perfect, and perhaps stable isn’t the way to describe you, but you are a fantastic father, and you aren’t alone.  Those kids will grow up great, and they will love you and you will love them and believe me when I tell you that that is all that matters.” Remus nods, taking a deep breath, “You ready to head in there?”  Remus nods again.

The two walk into Jamie’s room and find her showing Heidi the drawings she did in class.  The twins are sitting on the floor, goo-ing and gaa-ing at each other and occasionally Jamie when she walks over.

“Daddy!” Jamie calls when she sees him, remembering to walk over slowly after her Daddy gets scared.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that,” He tells her as he kneels down and hugs her.

“It’s okay, I know you can’t help it,” Jamie replies as she hugs him, he smiles sadly as he holds her back.

“Are you okay?” Heidi asks Remus who seems embarrassed and a bit shaky but nods.

“Yeah, I’m fine.  Why don’t we go and get the things out of the car while Severus cleans the kitchen?” Remus suggests, giving Severus a pointed look.  He looks sheepishly to the ground.

“If we put the twins in the loungeroom with some toys, Jamie and I can keep an eye on them, right Princess?”

“Right!”

And so they do. 

By the end of the day, the twins and Heidi have moved in.

By the end of the month, Severus and Remus are once more the only adults in the house.

 

 


	42. Legacy

1st July 1988

“Remus, I hid something,” Severus says as they do the dishes one night.  For some reason Remus insists on doing them by hand, always has.

“You aren’t going to make me go find it, are you?” He asks with an amused look, but a look to the side shows his inamorato is far less happy, “What do you mean you hid something?”

“I heard something, during the war, something I shouldn’t have.  I think Dumbledore knew, I think he thought I’d tell Gaunt.” Remus’ eyebrows go up at the name so rarely spoken.

“What?” He asks, unsure why Severus is bringing this up so many years after the fact.

“A prophecy, one that I think might have referred to Harry, though I’ve since realised it could have been Neville too, but all things considered Harry makes more sense.”

“What damned prophecy Sev?” Severus takes a breath.

“ _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...._ ”

“You had that memorised?” Remus can’t help but ask, Severus nods, Remus frowns, “Neither can live while the other survives.  Well if that isn’t subject to interpretation I don’t know what is.  Besides, who knows if it means Tom, or Roana, or the damned non-human spiritous apparition.  You know what Lily used to think of divination.”

“Yes, but he _did_ stop him somehow,” Severus insists, “I looked into what Dumbledore was saying about the blood protection and stuff, that only works if Harry’s related to Lily and he’s not!”

“That we know of, we don’t know anything about the Riddle family tree, nor the Evans’, but both were Muggle.”

“Remus!”

“No, Severus stop.  The war is over.  I know you are worried about the children, all the children, but I think a part of you just doesn’t know how to stop fighting, and you _need_ to let this go,” Remus tells him, Severus looks at him in disgust.

“Says the man who spends a day a week looking into what exactly this non-human spiritous apparition is,” He snaps, Remus rears back slightly, “I know the war is over Remus, but you can’t really be so blind as to not realise it is _going_ to start back up again.  The further ahead of the game we can get, the better!”

“I DON’T WANT TO BE FIGHTING THIS DAMNED WAR MY ENTIRE LIFE SEVERUS!”

“THEN HELP ME FINISH IT BEFORE IT PICKS BACK UP WHERE IT LEFT OFF!”

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE FOR THIS, NOT ANYMORE!”

“OUR LIVES AREN’T MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYONE ELSE’S!”

“THEY AREN’T ANY LESS IMPORTANT EITHER!” The two stop yelling, looking at each other as though afraid to continue talking, afraid to lose the one remaining person from the group that built them, “Severus, I am _tired_.  I wish I had just stayed out of the war last time, fight or not we lost them all, I made no difference but I still ended up broken.” Severus strokes a hand over his face.

“You don’t look broken to me.” Remus scoffs.

“Severus I haven’t gone a day without drinking profusely since I was twenty, and just a general excessive drinking problem for the last twelve years.  I tried to stay out of it to begin with, I am sick of wondering if my biggest mistake was getting in it or not getting in sooner.  But regardless I would be entirely useless in the next war because….” He trails off, Severus looks concerned.

“Because?” Remus sighs, putting down the sponge in his hand and leaning on the sink heavily.

“Because apart from getting your blood circulating again, I haven’t used magic since you and Reg broke me out of that compound.  Because I flinch any time it’s used around me.  Because any time anything magical is happening that I can hear or sense or smell or even know, all I can remember is the pain and the one who caused it.”  By this point his voice is shaking as rapidly as the rest of him is trembling, Severus moves forward and hugs him tightly, “I don’t want to be hurt again Sev, and I don’t want anyone else hurt by me.”

“I’m sorry Rem, I…I admit I hadn’t noticed your lack of magic use.  I should have.” Remus shakes his head.

“It wasn’t really a big deal, people _are_ capable of living without actively using magic you know.” Severus chuckles.

“Well of course, your charming mother does it wonderfully,” He says with a grin, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Yes, she already likes you better, no need to suck up when she isn’t around to hear it.”

“She only likes me better because I actually write to them.” Remus laughs and nods.

“True, true.  I really should do that more.”

“I go back to Hogwarts tomorrow, perhaps you and the kids should visit them.” Remus nods.

“I think I will.”

“And as for the rest of it…as for the rest of it we’ll deal with what happens as it comes.” Remus shakes his head.

“No, you’re right.  When we were young we got paranoid, we started training, and it’s the only reason you survived your initial encounter with Gaunt.  We have to be ready.”

“Then what do we do?” Remus sighs.

“I don’t know Severus, I’m not the same man I used to be.” Severus nods, kissing Remus’ head.

“Then for once, we’ll work things out together.” Remus sighs, slumping further into his partner’s arms.

“Together.”

 

2nd July 1988

The next day he, Sevrin, Benoit, and Jamie turn up at his parent’s house to surprise them, only when his Father opens the door, something is very wrong.

“Remus…” Lyall trails off, Remus frowns.

“Dad? What’s wrong?”

“You’d better come in.” Remus follows his Father into the living room where his mother is sitting in tears, a police officer Remus knows a little too well sits across from her.

“Mum?  What’s going on?” Remus asks, moving over and hugging his Mother who promptly loses it, shaking and sobbing.

“Grandma?” Ten-year-old Jamie asks, crawling into her grand-mother’s lap.

“Mr Lupin, it’s almost lucky you’re here,” Now-Detective Davidson tells him, Remus looks at the Detective in confusion as his father replies.

“I would hardly call anything about this situation lucky.”

“I understand you’re living in France now?” Remus nods at the Detective.

“Yes, I flew out to surprise my parents and sister, what’s going on Detective Davidson?” Davidson sighs, looking at his notebook for a moment before looking back up.

“Your sister is missing, we have reason to believe she’s been abducted.” Remus looks at him in alarm before looking down to his shaking Mother.

“What reason?  Do you know who?” The Detective grimaces.

“We were hoping you would, actually.  There was a note left at the scene, addressed to a name some of your old friends called you.” He hands over said note, Remus takes it and reads it, freezing as he does so.

_I told you I wasn_ _’_ _t done with you Sparky_

“Do you have any idea who could have sent that?  You…don’t exactly have a short list of people in this town that you’ve pissed off.” Remus bits his lip and nods.

“You’re quite right, but I’m reasonably certain that note was sent by Derek Slyngyn.  I do believe he was released from Gaol a few months ago.” Lyall looks at Remus in alarm, Remus pulls his Mother closer to him, Davidson nods slowly.

“Mr Slyngyn was your…former romantic partner, yes?” Remus nods, “Is there anyone else you can think of that this gentlemen may target?”

“He attacked an old friend of mine last time he was free after she confronted him, it was her family that initially pressed charges against him.”

“What is her name, and do you know where we can find her?”

“Petunia Dursley, I don’t know her address off the top of my head but my Inamorato will.  I can call him,” Remus offers, feeling rather dazed, Davidson nods so Remus walks away slightly and pulls out his phone.  He and Severus had each bought a mobile phone that, after much experimentation on Severus’ part, works despite being surrounded by magic.  It was a better way of communication given how much time Remus spent in the Muggle World, and it gave Petunia a way to contact them should the need arise, though they both doubted she ever would.  Remus dials the number he knows off by heart, concerned Severus wouldn’t answer now that he’s back in Hogwarts, but he does.

“Remus?  I hate to be rude but I’m sort of in a meeting, is this important?” Severus asks.

“Um, a tad, yes.”

“What’s wrong?” Remus takes a calming breath.

“It’s complicated, do you know the Dursley’s home address?”

“What-why do you want that?”

“Sev, please, just tell me.  I promise, I’ll explain later.” He hears Severus sigh on the other end.

“4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging.” Remus nods as he writes it down.

“Thank you, I’ll call you tonight and explain everything, okay Love?”

“All right, be safe Rem.”

“I will, say hi to Minnie for me,” Remus tells him with a soft smile, hanging up after they both say good bye.  He walks back over to the others and hands over the piece of paper.

“Thank you, Mr Lupin.  We’ll find your sister.  If you could stay in town, and let me know if Mr Slyngyn attempts to contact you?” The Detective requests, handing over his card, Remus nods.

“They’ll stay here,” Lyall tells them both, Remus smiles at his Father and nods.

“Oh, and Mr Lupin.” Both father and son look over, but it’s Remus that Davidson addresses with a small smile, “Try not to set anything on fire while you’re here.” Remus lets out a chuckle despite himself.

“I shall attempt to restrain myself.”

 

“Thank god you didn’t floo in,” Lyall says when they’ve shut the door, Remus nods, “How are you my son?” Remus sighs.

“It’s been an interesting few days, but overall pretty good.  Until now, that is.”

“Well, we knew he would get out eventually,” Lyall says sadly, Remus nods, suddenly remembering himself panicking about just this situation.

_“_ _I don_ _’_ _t want him to come after me, or my family, Sirius I can_ _’_ _t do this I can_ _’_ _t._ _”_

_“_ _Remus John Lupin, listen to me right now!_ _”_ _Sirius demands sharply, Remus looks directly at him,_ _“_ _The only way he can come after you is if you don_ _’_ _t testify._ _”_

_“_ _He_ _’_ _ll be released eventually._ _”_

_“_ _Yes, and by that point we_ _’_ _ll be settled down with kids and a house and a future and he won_ _’_ _t even be a passing thought.  He_ _’_ _ll have forgotten, and so will we._ _”_ _Remus smiles ever so slightly._

_“_ _You really think so?_ _”_

_“_ _I know so.  Even if he does turn up again one day, I will be right by your side, we all will be.  Marauders first, right?_ _”_ _Remus nods._

_“_ _Right._ _”_

Remus snorts internally,

_Marauder_ _’_ _s first huh?  Then why aren_ _’_ _t any of you here?_

For the first time, he finds himself wondering if Sirius really did betray them and comes to the rather horrifying conclusion that he doesn’t care.

Sirius had been wrong all those years ago when he told Moody Remus would betray all of them if it would help them win the war, because he wouldn’t.  He’d have kissed Voldemort’s boot if it would bring a smile to Sirius’ face.  If there is one thing he knows without a doubt, it’s that nothing would ever change the fact that Sirius is the single most important person in human history, at least to Remus.

 _Huh_ , Remus thinks, _Maybe he was my best friend after all_.

“I’m sure they’ll find her,” Remus tells his Dad, he doesn’t voice his worry about what state she’d be in when they do.

“Dad, he’s going to find Auntie Phia, right?” Jamie asks her Father when they walk back into the loungeroom, Remus and Lyall exchange looks.  Remus almost misses the days when she wouldn’t have understood, but she’s a very observant ten-year-old, too observant to be placated with a lie.

“He’ll do his very best.”

 

 

Petunia turns up at their place three hours later, Remus immediately wraps her in his arms.

“Have-Have they found anything?” She asks, Remus sighs, shaking his head.

“Not that they’ve told us, do they know you’re here?”

“Yes, I told the Detective that came to speak to me that I’d be heading up here.”

“Come on, there’s a pot of tea in the dining room.”

“Can’t you just…magic her back or something?” Petunia asks desperately.  Remus is more than aware that her view on Magic is at an all time low after her sister died, so he’s a little surprised to hear her suggest it.  _It_ _’_ _s a testament_ , He supposes, _to how much she really does care_.

“If she randomly turns back up here, the Police will be very suspicious.” Petunia looks at him in disbelief, “If she’s gone more than forty-eight hours I will go and find her and bring her back, I promise.”

“And if that’s too long?!” She whisper yells, not wanting to get his parents worked up, she can’t imagine it being her Dudders gone missing, Remus sighs.

“I can’t risk the exposure of the magic world.” Petunia glares at him.

“Isn’t your sister worth that?”

“Is a single life worth an entire people?”

“Forget it being a single life, she’s your sister Remy!  That should _make_ her worth it.” Remus flinches at the name, tensing up to keep from panicking.  He knows she’s right, once upon a time he would never have thought so, but he can’t be the soldier he once was.  _She_ destroyed that part of him a long time ago, destroyed his ability to think objectively in the face of emotional torment.  Else he’d probably have accepted Sirius’ guilt, would never have worked on the blind faith that he’s innocent to begin with. Remus glances back towards the dining room before looking back to her and nodding.

“You’re right, just, keep them distracted.” She seems surprised, then almost sad.

“What happened to you? I should not have been able to convince you out of one of the hallmarks of your personality.” Remus shrugs.

“Time, experience…”

“War,” She adds, he flinches back, she grabs his arm and looks at him seriously, “Bring her home Remy.” He nods before leaving the house.

Once outside, Remus takes in a deep breath of air, bringing forth his sense of smell, his hearing, his eyesight, everything.  He feels Moony’s mindset trying to surface but forces it back.  He gets out of the full moon and no other time, not anymore.

Smelling as he goes, Remus heads to the old hang outs Derek used.

After wandering around the town for three hours, Remus finally gets a whiff of his twin and immediately starts following the scent.

He finds himself by a river, the location seems familiar somehow, it’s not until he finds the old burnt car that he realises, this is the first place he and Derek kissed.  He remembers it, that was an interesting summer.

Looking around he sees nothing, but he knows she’s here, and she’s not alone.

Remus follows the smell which leads him to the old run down office building they’d once used as cover from police and general view.  Amazing how things change in twelve years, and god he sometimes can’t believe it’s been so long.  Seventeen years since he boarded the train to Hogwarts for the first time.  He could never have imagined things would turn out this way, and he regrets a lot of it, wishes so much of it didn’t happen but, despite everything, he’s rather content with how life is at the moment.

As he reaches the office building, he looks around and finds a back door, he opens the unlocked door as quietly as possible and sneaks in.  He focuses within, bringing up a sense of the wolf he has never before dared, the instinct to find food.

Instantly he hears the hearts beating, smells the blood in their veins.  He has to take a moment to calm himself from the overwhelming sensation so that no one gets hurt, but he knows where they are now, and he’s on the hunt.

Silently, he sneaks up to the third floor, he hesitates, knowing Derek is right on the other side.  He knows, historically, he’s been one for plans.  But he hadn’t exactly planned it when he and Sirius had gone to rescue Peter and _her_ when they’d been captured.  He should have, things may have been different.  So he stops now, he thinks.  Most important thing to decide is this, will Derek be leaving here alive?  He should, Remus knows he should let him live.  But he’s not going to be arrested is he?  If Remus saves Phia now, it will be very difficult to pin any abduction on him.

Of course, Remus doesn’t need to kill him, Remus has a gift.  He may have sworn to himself he’d never purposely use it again, but Petunia’s right, this is his _sister_.

Remus opens the door and walks in calmly, finding his twin tied to a chair, bound and gagged, and Derek leaning on a desk with a gun.

“Honey, I’m home,” Remus calls as he walks in, Remus sees Phia roll her eyes at him and wishes he could still find it in himself to grin at it all.  But Phia is in danger and making light of that is not as easy as it used to be.

“Ho-How did you find us here?” Derek asks, pointing the gun at him in panic, Remus raises his hands in surrender.

“I have a good nose.” Derek frowns in a delirious sort of confusion.

“What does that even mean?!”

“Oh, nothing in particular.  _Shoot yourself in the head._ ” Derek’s eyes flash yellow before he does so, no hesitation, “Huh, Muggles are more susceptible to that.” He looks over and sees Phia looking with horrified eyes at the corpse of her kidnapper, he walks over and kneels before her, “Yes, I know, it’s bad.  I can’t let you out of here without complicating things so here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m going to put in an anonymous tip that someone carried an unconscious girl into this building, the police will come, and they’ll find you,” He tells her, she looks at him, a mix between fear, disbelief, and disgust, “What you tell them from there is up to you, and should you fabricate a story that has me arrested, I’ll understand, I did just kill a man after all.  But know this Phia, I love you, and I would do near _anything_ to keep you safe.”  He walks over and kneels beside the body for a moment, looking at him, “I once loved you, I hate that things had to end this way, truly, I do.  I wonder who is worse, the psychopath or the one who kills him.  Still, my family is safe now and I can’t bring myself to feel bad about that.  Goodbye, Derek.”

He sends his sister one last reassuring look before leaving.  He calls the police as he walks back, using magic to alter the way his voice sounds, he sounds like a child.

He apparates home after that, walking in and relieved to find no Detective there.

“Remus, what happened, where have you _been_?” Lyall asks, Remus sighs, shrugging.

“Trying to find her.”

“And did you?” Remus debates what to say before deciding the simplest truth is for the best.

“She’s safe,” He replies, Hope, Lyall, and Petunia exchange looks at that, no doubt wondering how much to ask.  Then Hope just nods, hugging her son and coming to the same conclusion he had, none of it matters so long as Phia is safe.

This is why so many believe love to be a weakness, why they believe it dangerous, because who wouldn’t do anything for the ones they care for most?  Should he have waited until Derek had hurt Phia like he had Petunia?  Or worse, killed her?  How could he do that when he could save her?  Sure he had a choice, but he doesn’t ever think he’ll believe the one he made to be wrong.  Unforgivable or no.  Besides, he knows it can’t be the Imperius Curse, he controlled a Boggart after all, and the Imperius Curse doesn’t work on Boggarts.

“She’ll be home soon then?” Jamie asks, Remus nods.

 

A few hours later, Phia is returned to them, clearly shook up.  Davidson pulls Remus and Lyall aside to explain what he knows.

“Says he was ranting and raving about how you deserve this, you betrayed him, that sort of thing.  Then something changed and he was talking about how much he loves you and he hurt you, then out of nowhere he turns the gun on himself, shot himself right in the head,” The Detective tells them, Lyall looks shocked but also relieved, “Least he’ll never hurt anyone again.  Try not to blame yourself for any of this, guy was obviously a nutcase.  These obsession stories tend to end this way.” Remus nods, though he’ll never even try to convince himself what he did doesn’t matter when he’d have done it on his own anyway, he knows it was never on him to make that choice, and he’ll never pretend this was anything but a murder.

“I will do everyone a favour and never ask what really happened, there are a lot of ways we could explain this away to ourselves and no doubt I’ll do all of them to convince myself whatever happened here is okay.  Remus, whatever you do from now, please Son, be careful.  And thank you for bringing her home,” Lyall tells his son once the Detective leaves, Remus looks at his Father for a moment, wondering if he sees the Monster he’d always tried to convince Remus he wasn’t, in the end he just walks back into the room the others are in.

Phia doesn’t look at him, Jamie goes to sleep in a spare room though she’d stayed up well past her bed time, the twins asleep in their pram in the living room.  At last Petunia leaves, and their parents go to bed, the twins are left alone in the living room.

“Phia, listen –” Remus begins, but Phia cuts him off.

“I don’t know what the fuck has happened to you in your life but I know it was horrible, and I’ve seen in research for my books the kind of effect trauma can have on a person, but I never believed you capable of what I just saw.  Maybe this could be blamed on PTSD and explained away or something, but that won’t ever be enough for me,” She tells him, he looks at her but she still won’t look at him, staring at the fire in the fireplace instead, “This, Remus, is why I hated wizards for so long.  Not because of the damage they did, but because of the damage I knew they could do.  So much of magic is capable of things I wish I couldn’t imagine, and it scares me to the bone.  I can’t forget what happened tonight, and I will always love you my Brother, but you are a murderer.  So here’s how it is, I want you to leave,” Remus opens his mouth to protest but she gets up and starts walking to the stairs, “Tomorrow I will wake up and go home and then you can come back and see them if you want, that’s up to you.  But I never want to see you again Remus, because this is just…this is too much.  I thought I could handle always waiting, but I think that died when the others did.  Good bye, Rem, and good luck,” She says, then Phia walks up the stairs to what was once her room.  Remus watches her go, tears streaming down his face, he nods though he’s now alone.

Getting up, Remus walks around the house for a bit, taking it all in.  He knows their parents won’t let her leave tomorrow, that he should probably not come back for a while.  He’ll respect Phia’s wishes, because at least she’s alive to make them.  He’ll get through this, he has to.  He goes up stairs, lifting his sleeping daughter gently and carrying her back down, trying not to wake her.

Remus picks up a picture on the small table by the front door, it’s he and Phia at their fourth birthday.  He’s human still, and they’re happy.  Lyall’s doing some form of magic off camera, probably levitating things, to get Phia to smile in delight.  He hugs the picture close to him for a while before he nods to himself once again, forcing himself to put down the photo.  Grabbing the pram from the living room, he opens the front door, closing it with a sense of finality, some kind of closure he thinks he needed, before he apparates away.

 

Once safely in his home he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, turning around he sees Severus watching him in concern.

“You never called me back, I was worried.”  Remus manages to tuck Jamie into bed and return to the living room before he breaks down, crying and sobbing.  It’s over an hour until he can explain what’s happened.  He can tell Severus is angry on his behalf but is relieved when he stays quiet about it and just let’s Remus deal.

It’s nice, he thinks, all the shit he’s gone through, things most can’t imagine, he’s been a lot of things over the years, but there’s one thing he never has and never _will_ be.

Alone.

 

5th March 1989

Less than a year after he lost Phia, Severus and Remus get married.  Remus was rather amused as he explained to his Mother that yes, such things are legally allowed in the wizarding world, and then held her as she wept in joy.

They kept a small ceremony, as promised Draco was allowed to be in it.  In fact, all ‘their’ children were in it.  Jamie, Astoria, Daphne, and Pansy were the flower girls while Blaise, Theo, Vince, and Greg were the little page boys.  Lucius was Severus’ best man, while Remus chose Draco as his own, the eight-year-old had been ecstatic and focused very hard on being still and quiet for the entire ceremony.  Most importantly, all his rather pure-blood elitist type friends had kept their word and not been dicks to his Mother, the only Muggle in attendance.  Both men were rather disappointed that Petunia had not come but neither were too surprised.

Lucius had come and ranted to the two for a solid hour and about how Draco had come to him afterwards and asked why they’d had to be careful what they said to Hope and why some of the others hadn’t liked her being there.  Lucius had then explained that there’s nothing wrong with Muggles, they simply live differently than wizards, but for reasons of safety, Lucius believes strongly that it’s best to keep those worlds as separate as possible.  He then went on to explain that some people believe that to be utter horse crap while others take such beliefs way too far and that yes, some of your friends’ parents are those people but we must not ever say that to them.  Remus and Severus then complained that it was two am and _get the fuck out we_ _’_ _re trying to sleep_.

 

20th July 1989

The mail comes during breakfast one morning, as it always does.  Eleven-year-old Jamie sits, helping her four-year-old brother, Benoit, butter his toast.  Severus looks at the letters, taking one and showing it to Remus who grins.

“There’s a letter for you, Princess,” Severus tells Jamie who looks up in surprise, taking the letter from him.  She opens it, looking excited.

“BEAUXBATONS!” She squeals excitedly, it murders Remus’ ears thanks to his lycanthropy enhanced hearing and the fact that he’s right next to her when the full was only two days ago, but it’s worth it to see her so happy, “I can go, right?”  Remus nods.

“Of course.”

“YES!  Oh, I can’t wait to tell Blaise and Dragon!”

Remus smiles.  Then Severus clears his throat, a concerned look on his face as he holds up another letter.

“There’s another,” He tells them, Remus raises an eyebrow, Jamie looking confused as well, “Hogwarts.”

“No,” Remus says as soon as Jamie opens her mouth.

“But Dad!”

“No.”

“Dad, can’t we at least ta-”

“No Jamie.  You aren’t going to Hogwarts.”  Jamie screws her face up in annoyance.

“Daddle!” Jamie cries in outrage.  Jamie had decided over the past few years that Severus is one of her parents, but his place as her Uncle is also very important to her, so she combined the two titles and now refers to him exclusively as ‘Daddle’.

“Remus, maybe we should –”

“Severus you know very well why this isn’t happening.”

“Yes, I do.  I also know that perhaps it’s a little bit irrational,” Severus tells him carefully, Remus glares.

“Kids, why don’t you go play in your rooms for a while,” Remus suggests, Benni and Sevrin exchange looks before they grab their plates and leave for their room, “Jamie.”  She huffs, walking out.

“Fine, but I want to make it clear that my preference in this is Hogwarts,” She calls as she stalks out of the room.

“Irrational?  You expect me to send my daughter to school, a school in which the headmaster is the same man who took my God-Daughter out of my arms after rendering me unconscious?  The same man who sent a bunch of teenagers into war?  The same man who did nothing as his students attempted to murder each other?  He has no regard for his students’ lives, and you want me to send my daughter there?”

“ _Our_ daughter, Remus.  This is not just your decision.  I don’t care about blood or genetics, she’s my kid too and we need to work this out together.  That’s how a partnership works.”  Remus huffs.

“All right, then what do you suggest?”

“Let her go to Hogwarts,” Severus says, he holds a hand up to stop him when Remus opens his mouth to respond, “I’m a teacher there.  I can look after her.  Besides, Dora, Charlie, Percy, and Bill all go there.  Fred and George will be this year too.  Two years from now Draco, Blaise, Theo, Pansy, Vince, Greg, Ron, Neville, and Harry will be as well.  A year after that will be Hermione assuming she ends up going to a wizarding school.  My point is, people you care about are going to be there anyway and Jamie will not let this go.  I can protect her, Remus.”

“We don’t even live in the UK.  She’s been raised in France, she should go to a French school.” Severus sighs, “Severus, I have- _we_ have lost enough.  I do not want to risk losing more because of that man.”

“Save for Myrtle, who’s death cannot be blamed on Albus, have any of his students ever died?” Remus frowns, “She’ll have Minnie watching over her as well.” Remus sighs, looking at the table.

“You know Beauxbatons is a better school anyway.  None of that house crap, just a school.”

“There’s also a far larger ratio of girls to boys at Beauxbatons and maybe the twins would prefer Hogwarts one day too.”

“They could go to Durmstrang.”

“You want to separate Sevrin from Jamie?  Tell you what, you can have that conversation with them,” Severus suggests, Remus sighs nodding.

“Jamie, come in,” Remus says, not raising his voice.  The door opens and Sevrin and Jamie walk in.

“No Benni?” Severus asks, Sevrin shakes his head.

“He didn’t wanna get inta trouble.”

“In _to_ trouble,” Jamie corrects, Sevrin nods.

“At least one of you has sense,” Remus says, Sevrin giggles, Jamie huffs, “If one, and I mean _one_ stupid or dangerous thing happens because of Dumbledore, I am pulling you out, no arguments.”

“Yes!  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!”  Remus sighs, nodding and smiling at his daughter’s happiness despite himself.

“Better get practicing your English,” Remus points out, Jamie flawlessly switches to speaking English.

“Considering the amount of time I’ve spent with Auntie Cissa and Uncle Lu, I don’t really think that will be a problem.”

And she’s right.  There’s a slight accent in her words, but he honestly doubts many people would even notice it.

“Can I go tell Dragon?” She asks, Remus nods, “BENNI, WE’RE GOING TO SEE DRAGON, YOU COMING?”  They all hear the foot slaps and pitter patter of Benni rushing down the hall before he appears in the room.

“Oui.  Are you coming too, Père?” Benni asks, Remus shakes his head.

“No, you three go on,” Remus tells him.

“I’ll stay here too,” Severus decides.

“Bye bye Père, bye bye Papa,” Sevrin tells them before he and the others go through the floo.

“See, now the question is, which house will she be in?” Severus asks as Remus writes out the reply letter.

“Well, she’s been raised by a Gryffindor and a bunch of Slytherins, her grandpa’s a Ravenclaw, and then there’s Phia.”

“So your guess is?”

“Probably defy all logic and end up in Hufflepuff just because no one would expect it.”

“Two people she was once close with were in Hufflepuff.”

“Two?” Remus asks.

“Del, and Dora.”

“I am not at all surprised to hear Dora’s a Hufflepuff.”

“We should get back in contact with Drom,” Severus suggests, Remus nods.

“That’s a good idea,” he agrees, grabbing some more parchment from his pocket and writing another letter.

 

September 1st 1989

“You’ve got everything?” Remus asks, Jamie sighs.

“Yes, just like I did the last three times you asked,” She replies.

“All right all right, enough of the cheek.”

“Sorry Dad.”

“Just, be safe, okay?” Remus requests, kneeling in front of his daughter, Jamie smiles, hugging her Father.

“I will. Je t’aime, Papa.” Remus smiles, hugging her back.

“Je t’aime, Bébé.”

“Jamie!” Jamie turns around to see fourteen-year-old Nymphadora Tonks rushing over, her Mother and Father behind her.

“Dora!”

“You know you’re the only one who can get away with that, right?” She asks, Jamie grins as she nods at her cousin.

“Hey Re-Re.”

“Hi Tonks, how are you?”

“Pretty good, Bill’s got a crush, it’s adorable.”

“You and Charlie laughing at him for it?” She nods, “Good.”

“Remus!” Ted complains, he smiles innocently.

“Père, it’s a big crowd,” Benoit says nervously in French, Remus lifts him up.

“Don’t worry, you won’t get lost,” Remus promises before switching back to English, “It’s good to see you again, both of you.” Drom walks over and hugs him.

“It’s good to see you too.  I’m glad you reached out, it’s been nice seeing you and Sev.” Remus agrees.

“All right, Benni, Rin, say good bye to your sister.”

“Au revoir, Jamie,” Benoit tells her.

“Bye little Benni,” She says, hugging her brother without her Father putting him down, “I’ll write to you, okay?”  He nods.

“Adieu Sissy,” Sevrin says, Jamie kneels down, pulling her brother in close.

“Je t’aime, le frère.”

“Je t’aime aussi.”

“Just a whole bunch of French words that we all understand, uhuh,” Tonks says, Drom swats her shoulder.

“Tell Papa hi,” Benoit requests, Jamie nods.

“And say hi to Blaise for me when you go get him.  Oh, Dad, could you tell him that I said the thing for the thing is where we agreed?”

“I’m going to regret doing so but sure.” She grins.

“It’ll be holidays before you know it, good bye!”  She and Tonks get on the train, the rest wave good bye until the train is out of sight.

“You doing okay?” Andromeda asks, Remus nods.

“Give me two minutes and it’ll be a different story.”  Drom nods, “Right, we should go get Blaise.”

“We’ll see you soon,” Ted says, Remus nods, saying good bye as the two leave.  Remus looks around one more time.

_“_ _I_ _’_ _m not sure I_ _’_ _ll end up saying this much in our lives, given how intelligent you are in general, but Remus, I think you_ _’_ _re wrong.  You have a happy life to look forward to with all of us in it.  One day, the war will be over, and hopefully we_ _’_ _ll have all made it through.  We_ _’_ _ll be standing at King_ _’_ _s Cross, all of us, saying goodbye to our children, nieces, nephews, and God-Children and they will be coming here to do as we do now.  When that happens, you are going to look at me and say_ _‘_ _I was wrong Trixie, and I love you._ _’”_

“I was wrong Trixie,” Remus mutters quietly, unheard over the noise of the platform, “But so were you.” He takes Sevrin’s hand and disapparates.

 

Jamie walks down the Hogwarts express with Tonks, nervous now that her Dad isn’t with her.

“Charlie!” A red-headed boy looks up as the door to the carriage opens.

“Hey Tonks, these are my brothers, Fred and George,” Charlie introduces, “It’s their first year.  You guys remember Tonks?” Fred squints.

“A little?”

“Well, do any of you three remember Jamie Lupin?” Tonks asks, dragging the girl in from behind her, Charlie nods.

“Indeed I do.  It’s nice to see you again Jamie.”

“And you Charlie.”

“Ohh, didn’t you once convince a cat to chase us around some big house that we were in for some reason?” George asks, Jamie frowns, then nods.

“I think so, yeah.”

“That big house was the Potter Estate,” Charlie tells them, Jamie frowns.

“As in my Uncle James Potter?” Charlie nods, “Wow, I remember that place being pretty extravagant.”

“Well they _were_ rich.”

“They were?”

“Yeah, didn’t your Dad ever tell you?” Jamie looks a little awkward.

“He doesn’t really talk about back then very much.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Well anyway, Fred and George are your age, so there’s two people you know, and you’ve got me and Charlie, so you definitely won’t be alone.”  Jamie bites her lip, nodding.

“What’s wrong?” Charlie asks as she and Tonks take their seats in the compartment.

“I just, I don’t like being away from my Dad.  I forgot, I guess, because he’s always there.  But now he’s so far away and…well, anyway.  I’ll get over it,” She tells them.  Charlie and Tonks exchange looks but decide to leave it alone. 

Everyone gets homesick, right?

 

Fred, George, and Jamie stand about, waiting to be sorted together.  Finally, Jamie’s name is called.

“Lupin, Jamie,” Minerva McGonagall calls out, Jamie takes a deep breath and walks forward, taking a seat on the stool and cringing slightly as the hat is placed on her twin French braids.

_Oh, a Black.  I haven_ _’_ _t had one of you since the year your Mother was sorted.  Well, unless you count Nymphadora._

“She goes by Tonks,” Jamie tells the hat in a very quiet whisper that no one else heard, the hat laughs out loud to the confusion of everyone.  Minerva’s long gotten used to weird sortings from this lot.

_Loyalty, fierceness, yet I do not see Gryffindor in your heart._

_Should I be offended by that?_ Jamie asks internally.

 _Do you_ want _to be a Gryffindor._

_I want to be sorted and off of this stool, is what I want._

_Quite a fiery spirit._

_My Mother, she was a Black?_

_Didn_ _’_ _t Remus tell you?_

_No, he didn_ _’_ _t,_ She replies with a frown.

_Perhaps he was afraid._

_Aren_ _’_ _t Gryffindors supposed to be brave?_

_You cannot be brave if you are fearless.  The concept of bravery is to face down fear.  Fearlessness is not bravery, it is foolishness.  Do you consider your Father to be a fool?_

_No, of course not. I just do not understand why he didn_ _’_ _t tell me.  There must be a reason._

_In my experience he does much without reason._

_Then your experience with my father is sorely lacking.  He always has a plan, has reasons, he raised me to do the same.  No, if he kept it from me there_ is _a reason and I intend to find out what.  Logically_ _…_ _no that doesn_ _’_ _t make sense either_ _…_

_We are in the middle of something here._

_Do you really need my input?  Pick a table, any table, I have larger concerns to deal with.  My father kept something from me, what else might he be hiding?  I always thought he was transparent about it all.  He never hid from me that my Mother is in Azkaban.  Never hid that she was a bad person.  Why hide a name I probably could have found out on my own should I wish to?_

_Perhaps, given that you didn_ _’_ _t, he believed you did not wish to know._ Jamie frowns.

 _Oh I don_ _’_ _t mean to keep you, I_ _’_ _ll just mull over this, feel free to keep going._ The hat huffs, out loud for all to hear.

“RAVE –”

_Seriously?  Ravenclaw?_

_I thought you just wanted me to pick one?_

_Well, yes, I do, I just never imagined you_ _’_ _d pick Ravenclaw._

_Why is that?_ Jamie shrugs.

 _I don_ _’_ _t fit the stereotype.  Though, I suppose many don_ _’_ _t.  Stereotypes aren_ _’_ _t always accurate, after all.  Mustn_ _’_ _t base an entire opinion on them or you_ _’_ _ll be caught off guard more often than not.  My Dad always says_ _‘_ _you are more than just your Hogwarts house._ _’_ The hat smiles slightly.

“HUFFL –”

_Okay no, no, I_ _’_ _m calling bull on that one.  No way._

_What_ _’_ _s the matter with Hufflepuff?_

_My Aunt Del is a Hufflepuff.  I do not have the patience for that.  I am taking that option away from you._ The hat raises an ‘eyebrow’ type fold of material.

_Taking it away from me?_

_Yes._

_You can_ _’_ _t._

_Just did._

_No really, I say Hufflepuff right now and that_ _’_ _s that, no more option._

_Unless I say otherwise._

_That_ _’_ _s not how this works._

_Just you watch me._

_Are you really just going to flat-out refuse to sit at the table?_

_Yep._

“GRY –” The hat cuts itself off this time, Jamie opens her eyes in confusion.

_Um, hello?_

_You really just don_ _’_ _t fit in Gryffindor._

_Having a bit of trouble, are we?_

_No Gryffindor, you_ _’_ _ve weasled your way out of Huffl_ _…_ _oh, oh well that_ _’_ _s it isn_ _’_ _t it?_

_Um_ _…_ _take your word for it?_

_And so the legacy lives on._

_What?_

“SLYTHERN!” The hat is taken off of Jamie’s head.  She shrugs and wanders over to the table.  Once sat down, she looks up at her Daddle who smiles proudly, she beams at him.  Then it occurs to her.

 _Legacy.  Did it mean the Blacks?_ She wonders, observing Severus as she waits, _Or did it mean yours?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is so late. I had a weird couple of days and then I was sick and it was just a whole thing. Anyways, back on track!


	43. THOSE DAMNED POTTERS!

Chapter 41

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

20th July 1991

A hoard of eleven-year-olds flock to Remus and Severus’ house in France.

“UNCLE REMUS, UNCLE SEV!” Draco shouts as he runs out of the floo closely followed by the others, all of whom are clutching their letters in their hands.

“Remus, Sev, look what we got!” Blaise says excitedly when they run into the bedroom and all jump on the bed.  Luckily the two had only been cuddling (Though Severus would never admit to being a cuddler, he only does it for Remus’ benefit, shut up.)

“Good morning to you too Blaise,” Remus tells him, blinking himself awake, Severus mutters some rather un-child-friendly words after being elbowed in an unfortunate place making Remus chuckle, “Come on guys, let’s go to the kitchen and get some breakfast started.  Why were you all at the same house anyway?” He asks as he leads them out, yawning and immediately grabbing a non dormiunt potion for his husband. That’s the one that negates his need for sleep now that he physically can’t.

“We weren’t,” Pansy replies, “We all just had the same idea I ‘spose.”

“ _Su_ -ppose, Pansy, you wouldn’t want your mother to hear you speaking like that,” Remus tells her as he moves to the fridge, “What do you guys want to eat?”

“OOOH THOSE AMAZING PANCAKES THAT YOU ALWAYS MAKE PLEASE!” Draco pleads.

“What’s with all the yelling?” Jamie complains as she walks into the kitchen in her pyjamas.

“HOGWARTS LETTERS!”  Draco shoves it in her face, the thirteen-year-old looks at it with amusement, high-fiving the kids and giving Blaise a one-armed hug.

“I know you’re excited but can we lower the volume please Little Dragon?” Remus requests, Draco blushes and nods while Blaise snickers at him and Pansy pats him on the head.

“Good boy.”  He gives her an angry and affronted look that lets Remus know it’s time to step in.

“So, what are you all most excited about for the coming term?” He asks them, they all think about it.

“Flying!” Draco says excitedly, Remus smiles and shakes his head fondly, that boy had a serious set of priorities.  He’s quite certain that nothing would ever come between he and flying, rules of first years and brooms or no.

“I’m looking forward to meeting Professor McGonagall, she sounds amazing.  I mean strict, and sort of scary, but amazing,” Pansy tells them, Remus chuckles and nods.

“That she is, brave too.”

“She’s a Gryffindor, of course she’s brave.”

“You are more than just your Hogwarts House,” The kids chant as soon as Remus opens his mouth, Remus looks confused for half a second, too many voices, then he feels a chin on his shoulder and grumbles.

“You don’t have to encourage them.”

“At least it proves we’ve all been listening.”

“And what a miracle that is, your drink is over there.” Severus smiles sleepily, kissing his cheek and moving over to the potion, the kids all look grossed out at the display of affection.

“More or not, I still want to be in Slytherin,” Pansy tells him, the others nod.

“Slytherin is the best house,” Jamie agrees earning a smirk from one parent and an unimpressed look from the other.

“It seems fairly obvious we all will be, all our parents say we’re Slytherins,” Daphne reminds her, Astoria looks dejected, no doubt at being the only one not going this year.

“Hey Astoria, you know, if we were to start going through some of the stuff you’ll learn in first year, what we can anyway, while the others are gone, you will be ahead of everyone else next year and earn whichever house you go into _loads_ of points.” The girl smiles brightly at him, woes forgotten, Daphne smiles gratefully at him, he nods to her and sets out the pancakes, “People aren’t always in the house you’d expect you know, Slytherin was briefly contemplated for me when I was being sorted.” The kids all laugh at that, as though _Remus Lupin_ being in _Slytherin_ was the most outlandish thing they’d ever heard.

“So long as I’m not in Hufflepuff I think I’ll be okay with wherever I am,” Daphne decides, Remus looks at her questioningly, she shrugs, “Who’s ever heard of an interesting Hufflepuff?” Severus spits his drink as he laughs, attempting to breath, choke, laugh, and clean himself at the same time.

“Hufflepuff’s, Daphne, are what happens when you’re intelligent, loyal, compassionate, and patient.  Now to think that through, obviously you need to be intelligent so you need a willingness to learn.  To be compassionate you must be brave, to be patient you must be inclusive of everyone, and to be loyal, well, you have no real idea how very Slytherin that ends up being, loyalty is blasted complicated sometimes.  And I’ll have you know that those Hufflepuffs can be quick-witted, sly, cunning, my point is, Hufflepuff is not what happens when one is none of the other houses, Hufflepuff is when one is all of them so equally one cannot be chosen above the others.  Keep an eye on those Hufflepuffs, they will _always_ be the most underestimated house, but also the one to watch, you never know what you’ll find there.”  The soon-to-be Hogwarts students, Jamie, and Astoria think through his words for a moment, then Severus shrugs.

“Bet their common room isn’t as cool though,” He tells him, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Yet, despite everyone else’s fancy security measures, no one unauthorised has ever been in Hufflepuff,” Remus points out, Severus rolls his eyes.

“Who would want to?  I’m quite certain anyone would get in should they truly desire to.  And, if no one has been in that isn’t meant to, how did the frogs get in?” Severus asks, Remus sighs.

“We had to bribe a Hufflepuff into helping us.  Couldn’t get them to let us in but they agreed to put the frog in.”

“Huh, those Hufflepuffs are hard to crack.”

“What frog?” Theo asks them, Severus smirks.

“Yes Sweetiepie, what frog?” The kids have known these two blokes all their lives and know very well that any time either of them used a cute name for the other, either they were having an emotional breakdown of some kind, or they were about to piss the other one off.  Sure enough, Remus glares at Severus.

“Nothing children, just an old joke.”

“You could always do what I did when the hat tried to put me in Hufflepuff, just refuse.  There’s not much it can do to refute that.  Makes for a very exasperated hat though,” Jamie says thoughtfully.

“It tried to put you in Hufflepuff?” Remus asks in surprise.

“No need to sound so surprised, I can be nice!” Jamie exclaims, Pansy scoffs at that earning a glare.

“Why can’t we bring a snake as a pet?” Draco asks, Severus shrugs, having ingested enough of his potion to truly enter the conversation with a less fuzzy head.

“Some are venomous, it’s a hazard.”

“Have you _seen_ the tree they have on the grounds?  And they’re worried about a little snake venom?” Blaise asks, Severus sighs.

“You can choose to leave a tree alone, a snake may not give you that option.  Besides, the tree is there for a reason.”

“What reason could there be for a Whomping Willow?” Astoria asks, she likes Herbology, if it weren’t for her penchant for mischief, Remus would peg her for a Hufflepuff herself.  But no, he’s reasonably certain they are right and will all be in Slytherin, not that he’ll tell _them_ that.

“It hides the place young Lycanthropes go during the full,” Remus tells them, they look at him in curiosity, always eager to learn more about his condition.  They’d found out a year ago when, apparently, one had gotten too suspicious and brought the others in on it.  Jamie, already knowing the truth, had refused any part in it, demanded they leave her brothers out of it and suggested the others leave it alone.  They had tried, but Astoria had kept looking and eventually dragged the others back into it, Jamie had not been happy when she found out, but at least they hadn’t involved the twins.  Remus had been called over to find them seated in the living room waiting, a book about Lycanthropy open in front of them.  Remus had simply sighed and taken a seat in front of them, allowing them to ask their questions.  By the end, they all understood Jamie’s reticence.

“Will there be any Lycanthropes at school with us?” Draco asks, Remus doubts it.

“I don’t know Little Dragon, but stay away from the tree, all right?  Lest someone else get too curious and end up in serious trouble.” The six nod, promising to keep their distance.

“If there _are_ any Lycanthropes there, is there anything we can do to help them?” Blaise asks, Remus smiles.

“Be kind, but not pitiful.  Don’t make a big deal of it, and don’t tell anyone.”  Severus starts mumbling about something or other until Remus glares at him, he shuts up.  The six children heave a collective sigh of exasperation, these two are _always_ like this.

“Mother said Harry Potter would be in our year,” Blaise tells them as they’re eating, Severus looks briefly panicked at the thought of teaching Sirius’ son, it was always hard enough being back at Hogwarts but this?  Severus feared this would be simply too much to cope with.  Jamie drinks her tea and eats her breakfast, ignoring the entire situation.  Remus has no idea how much she remembers of her early childhood, but whatever it is, it’s enough that she refuses to give it away.

“He’s Harry Potter, he’s probably a jerk.”

“That’s not true!” Jamie snaps, Pansy doesn’t take well to being snapped at.

“How can anyone have that much fame and _not_ be?” Pansy asks, Draco shakes his head.

“Father said he was raised by Muggles so he hasn’t been surrounded by it.” Severus and Remus exchange looks, surprised that Lucius would talk about Harry to Draco.

“Well, _my_ Father said he’d met Potter’s parents and if he’s anything like his Father, we’re all in trouble…he also said not to say that in front of Remus and Severus…” Theo realises, eyes going wide as all the kids turn to the adults.  Jamie storms out of the room.

“Did you two know them?”  Pansy questions, Severus and Remus exchange looks.

“We did, your parents don’t have a high opinion of them for quite a few reasons, but they were very important to the two of us,” Severus tells them, Remus fiddling with his sleeve.

“I thought we were very important to you,” Draco says with a frown, Remus smiles at his God-Son.

“You are, more than one person can be important to someone.”

“So who’s important to you?” Daphne asks, Severus and Remus look at each other, Severus getting frustrated with all the questions, Remus merely fondly exasperated.

“Maybe you should go finish your lesson plans,” Remus suggests, Severus gives him a grateful look as he leaves, “You all are important to me, as is Jamie, and Benoit and Sevrin, as are your parents, as are _my_ parents.”

“What about Uncle Sev?” Draco asks, Pansy rolls her eyes.

“He’s his husband, _of course_ he’s important to him,” She tells him, Draco gives her an icy glare that she returns in kind.

“You say that, but then look at Mrs Zabini,” Astoria tells them, the children giggle while Blaise glares at all of them.

“That isn’t very nice Astoria,” Remus tells her, she shrugs.

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t be intentionally cruel,” Remus says with a sigh, there wasn’t really much he could do if she knowingly chose to be mean.

“I’m not being intentionally cruel, I’m being intentionally truthful.  If the truth is cruel then I argue it says more of the person I am truthful about than it does about me and my strict code of integrity,” She tells him, Remus just sort of looks at her for a moment before shaking his head.

“I take back everything I said before, might as well tell Severus he’s your head of house now,” He murmurs, she beams at him making him chuckle and shake his head fondly, “Come on then, we’d best get you lot home.”  Remus watches them all go through the floo to make sure they all get home before going to check on his husband.

“The little terrors are gone?” Remus smiles at him and nods, he seems relieved.

“You used to play with them all the time.  Remember when they convinced us to do a play with them for their parents, only we needed more people and they ended up in it as well so when we performed it everyone was in it anyway?” Severus smiles and nods.

“Draco made us record that so we could all watch it later, the others damned near had a fit at the use of Muggle technology,” He recalls, Remus nods, laughing, “It’s the age, it was easier before when they were younger but now there’s questions and they’re irritating.”

“The questions or the children?”

“Yes.” Remus wraps his arms around his husband who lets his head drop back against his chest, “I do _try_ to be patient, I just, fail. I mean, it’s different with our kids, but, as much as I care for all of the others I just…” He groans

“Some people just don’t do children, they’ll grow up eventually and they know you love them.”

“In some cases more than their own parent does,” Severus comments, Remus frowns and nods.

“Blaise will be staying here from next week until school, apparently his Mother is going away to Barcelona with some new beau.” Severus sighs, then looks concerned.

“What about the Full Moon?”

“Lucius is watching him for the night like he does Jamie and the boys, I think he’s sorted out a night for Pansy and Blaise to be staying over,” Remus explains, Severus nods.  They know Blaise doesn’t like his friends (Allies, Slytherin’s don’t have friends.  Then what am I Lucius? Oh sod off Lupin, you’re an exception and you know it. Sure, sure, you big softie.  Narcissa!) knowing about his troubles at home.

“I visited Del the other day,” Severus tells him, Remus frowns, hold on his husband tightening, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want Jamie to find out and want to come along.  I needed a chance to really talk to her.”

“And?” Severus sighs and shakes his head.

“She still won’t talk.  Still on a life sentence and she won’t tell us what in the hell happened!” He rants as he gets up, pacing angrily, Remus leans on the back of the now empty chair.

“We can’t help if she won’t let us.”

“I just don’t understand why she thinks she’s protecting her children by being there.”

“Nor do I, clearly we don’t have all the information, and until she decides to share more, there’s nothing we can do.” Severus sighs again, slumping against a wall and crossing his arms, nodding.

“I know.”

 

He goes to check on Jamie next, finding her listening to music in her room while drawing fiercely. 

“What are you drawing?” Jamie looks at him, debating for a moment, before she replies.

“Uncle Prongs.”  He looks surprised, walking over he finds an even bigger surprise.  The drawing is of a stag.

“Ah.”

He really doesn’t know where to go from here, eventually deciding out of the door is his best option.  She doesn’t stop him.

 

3rd August 1991

Remus has organized with Pat to take Pansy as well as Blaise and Jamie to get their things from Diagon Alley for school.  He’d offered to take Draco as well but was unsurprised when Lucius and Narcissa wanted to come along and help their Son with it all.  Remus is just glad Blaise will have his friends, knowing the boy is still a bit sad his Mother left him behind again.

“PANSY! Remus is here!” Her Mother calls out, having walked into the entrance hall to leave just as they arrived.

“Wanda, how lovely to see you again,” Remus says with a smile, the woman scowls at him, looks at Blaise, then back at him and nods once before she leaves.

“Mrs Parkinson never seems to like you very much,” Blaise comments, Remus shakes his head.

“No, she never really has.”

“Why not?” Jamie asks.

“Could be for any number of reasons to be honest with you,” He replies, feeling rather numb as he thinks back over everything he’s done that could have offended the woman, which is a lot, he shakes his head, “I imagine it started in Hogwarts and continued spiralling from there.”

“Isn’t it a bit stupid to still dislike someone over things that happened when you were in school?  Especially at your age!” Blaise exclaims, Remus turns to look at him, arms crossed, an amused yet challenging look on his face.

“My _age_?” Blaise hesitates, a sheepish look on his face.

“Um…well it _has_ been what, fourteen years since you graduated?”

“Oh my word, you’re right, a whole _fourteen_ years, oh I must invest in a walker.”

“I recognise you’re mocking me for calling you old when from your perspective you aren’t, but what in Merlin’s name is a walker?” Blaise asks, Remus sighs as Jamie chuckles.

“It’s a thing that helps old Muggles walk when their joints don’t work and ache too much,” Jamie explains, Blaise turns back to Remus with a smirk on his face.

“Like yours do around the full moon?  Maybe you _should_ get a walker.”

“Should get a damned muzzle is what I should get,” Remus says, chuckling and ruffling Blaise’s hair at his indignant squawk.    _Though really,_ Remus thinks, _A walking stick might not be a bad idea._

“Are you terrorising the children again Remus?” Pat asks, walking into the room with Pansy behind him, he grins.

“Always, Pat, always. Pansy!  Oh, your hair looks amazing!” He tells her, a bright smile on his face, “Come on, give us a twirl,” He directs, the girl positively glowing under the attention, she giggles happily when she’s finished twirling and throws herself at him for a hug.

“Mother says a lady should not have such short hair, it seems far more practical to me.” Remus nods, then looks at Pat.

“I think she might be your daughter after all,” He tells him, Pat chuckles.  Pansy had looked so much like her Mother when she was born, they often made jokes that she hadn’t inherited anything from him and was purely her Mother’s daughter.

“Now, remember, when you go out there, you’re representing your family.  So behave, listen to Remus, and if he starts being too Gryffindor-y, stop listening to Remus, got it?” She nods with a laugh.  Jamie and Blaise snicker as well.

“Yes Father.”

“Hey Pat.”

“Yeah?”

“I hate you.”

“Good, glad I’m doing something right at least.” Remus chuckles at his friend.

“Right then, we’d best be off.  We’re meeting the Malfoy’s at Madam Malkin’s.”

The four floo into the Leaky Cauldron, Remus nods to Tom before guiding the children out and into Diagon Alley.  He always hates it here, something about being around so many full-grown Wizards who would probably want to kill him if they knew the truth really put him on edge, but he could hardly bring the children to Knockturn.

 

They find the Malfoy’s outside the shop, Draco looking rather distracted.

“Hi there, Little Dragon,” Remus greets, Draco looks up at him and beams, throwing himself at Remus.

“UNCLE REMUS!” He shouts happily, Remus chuckles, hugging him.  He hated to think it but he sort of doubted this attitude would survive a term at Hogwarts, and thus was determined to enjoy it while it lasts.  Jamie walks over and greets her Aunt and Uncle in a far calmer fashion.

“Draco, must you?” Lucius asks, him, Draco looks to his Father, demanding the attention and respect only a pure-blood heir can.

“Yes Father, yes, I must,” He tells him in a matter-of-fact tone, Lucius just sighs, knowing a lost cause when he sees one.  This argument is one.

“How’s Severus?” Narcissa asks, Remus sighs.

“Not great.”

“What’s wrong with Uncle Sev?” Draco asks, all three children looking concerned, Jamie rolls her eyes, Remus smiles and shakes his head.

“He’s just stressed about the school year and having to put up with you three constantly.”

“Remus!” Pansy says angrily, stamping her foot, Blaise rolls his eyes which amuses Jamie since she knows he learnt it from her.

“He’s joking Pansy, no need to be a baby about it.”

“All right, so, why don’t you two go get your robes done, and we’ll wait out here.” Pansy and Blaise huff but both enter the store, “So what were you thinking so hard about before Little Dragon?” Remus asks, Draco frowns, biting his lip.  Lucius glared at Remus every time he did it, knowing he’d picked the habit up from him.  Remus just looks all innocent and makes Lucius regret every choice that lead to the two of them being friends.

“I was talking with a boy when we were both being measured, he seemed a bit…odd,” Draco tells him, then shakes his head, “I’m probably over thinking everything.”

“Always trust your instincts Draco, it’s never steered _me_ wrong,” Remus tells the boy, Lucius scoffs, Remus gives him an annoyed look, “Hey, I’m alive, aren’t I?  Mission accomplished.”

“Fair point,” Lucius replies, knowing better than to push that particular statement further.

“So what was so odd?”

“He said his parents were magic, but didn’t seem to know anything about what I was talking about.  I asked him about Quidditch, and flying, and houses, trying to start a conversation, and he _did_ seem interested but…confused.  That’s when I asked about his parents, I don’t think he was lying either.  It’s-well it’s, it’s befuddling,” He says, finally settling on a word, Narcissa looks amused while Lucius pinches the bridge of his nose, Jamie laughs.

“Befuddling?” Narcissa asks, Draco nods.

“Befuddling, discombobulating, the weirdest words to describe confusion and the like, that’s what it is,” He says decisively, Remus smiles and nods.

“It is rather befuddling, perhaps his parents are magic but raised him in the Muggle world?  Or perhaps he never knew his parents and was raised by Muggle relatives?”

“He did mention that his parents are dead.” Remus decides it’s best not to ask how that came up.

“Well there you go then.” Draco nods but it seems to continue bothering him, “Not satisfied?”

“There was something about that boy!  I can’t put my finger on it, in fact, if I put my finger on the ground, I’m fairly certain that boy would be Antarctica is how much I cannot put my finger on it, but there was _something_ about him.”  Jamie laughs at her cousin some more, he glares at her, she ignores it.

“This is really bothering you, isn’t it?” Remus asks, confused how a five-minute conversation while getting measured left his usually rather unflappable God-Son in this state.

“Draco, a Malfoy doesn’t get hung up on such things,” Lucius tells his son who narrows his eyes in confusion and looks to his Father.

“But Father, what if it turns out to be important and he’s actually a murderer who accidentally gave me some pivotal clue that could have blown the whole case wide open, only I didn’t get ‘hung up on it’ because you said not to, and then he kills everyone in the entire school?” Lucius blinks at his son, looking to Narcissa for help, she shakes her head letting him know he was dealing with this one alone.

“Obsess on the inside then, _deep_ on the inside.”

 

The three go and get their wands next, Lucius, Narcissa, and Remus deciding to grab their potion ingredients while that’s happening, leaving Jamie with the three youngsters.  When they get back to pay for the wands and grab the kids, the shop keeper stops Remus.

“Mr Lupin.” Remus turns to look back at the man.

“Mr Ollivander, a pleasure to see you again.”

“And you, dear boy.  Tell me, how is young Delilah?” Jamie looks over in confusion, Remus bites his lip, shaking his head slightly.

“She was well when last we spoke.”

“She used to come in and see me often, only I haven’t seen or heard from her in years.” Remus nods, sighing a little, he’d forgotten how much Del had enjoyed wandlore and where that hobby had begun.

“Lucius, Narc, would you mind taking the children to get their books, I’ll meet you there.”  Narcissa nods, leading the children out despite their protests, Lucius looks to Remus who nods at him, then he goes, dragging a protesting Jamie with him.

“What’s happened?” Mr Ollivander asks, Remus walks over to him properly.

“She’s serving a life-sentence in a Muggle Prison.” The older man gasps in disbelief.

“What on Earth for?”

“I wish I knew exactly, if I did perhaps she wouldn’t be there.”  The man looks deeply troubled, nodding slightly.

“You visit her, yes?  She isn’t alone?” Remus nods, a small smile on his face.

“Frequently.  I could take you in with me some time if you like?” Ollivander seems uncertain, but nods.

“Perhaps.”

 

1st September 1991

“I’m sorry, you want me to _what_?!” Remus sighs, rubbing at his forehead.

“Run. At. The. Wall.  I don’t know how I can possibly make this clearer Blaise.”

“Yes but, the wall?” Remus rolls his eyes, grabbing hold of his hand.

“Come on, we’ll do it together.”

“I’m not afraid!” Blaise defends, Remus smiles kindly.

“I know, but I haven’t been there in a while, so I’m a bit afraid.” Blaise seems torn between thanking him, pointing out he was literally here this time last year, and ignoring the gesture all together.  In the end he just tugs Remus forward and the two run through the wall, Jamie holding hands with both twins and following close behind.

Once through, they make their way towards the train, knowing none of their friends are the type to linger and wait outside for them.

“Bye Dad!”

“Bye Jamie,” Remus says, giving her a hug before she jumps on the train to find her friends, knowing that Blaise is far from alone.

“You have your owl?”

“Yes.”

“All your books?”

“Yes Remus.”

“And you packed your cauldron?”

“ _Yes_ Remus, for Merlin’s sake, you helped me pack and checked off your list as we went!” Remus sighs, ruffling his hair slightly despite the protest given before he’d even begun.  He kneels before the boy, taking his shoulders.

“Blaise, you know that no matter how this year goes, I’ll be proud of you, right?” Blaise looks nervous for a fraction of a second before his face goes blank again.

“Even if I’m in Slytherin?  Gryffindors and Slytherins don’t usually get along.” Remus smiles in amusement.

“I know, my Gryffindor friends used to give me a hard time about being friends with your Dad and the others.  I didn’t give in then, and in case it’s slipped your notice, I married a Slytherin and my daughter is in Slytherin.  Inter-house friendships and relationships can be complicated and tricky and messy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t all work out in the end.”

“But Remus, all your other friends died.  If they didn’t, would you still be as close to the rest of us?” Remus nods, ignoring the burning feeling in his eyes.

“Undoubtedly.” Blaise finally lets a small smile through, “Right then, off with you.  Don’t forget to write,” He tells him sternly, Blaise huffs and nods as he gets on the train, “I mean it!  If I don’t get a letter within a week I’m sending you a howler containing all your secrets!” Blaise just chuckles as he walks away.

“Love you too, Re.”

He and the twins, now six-years-old, stay until the train vanishes from sight.  They turn to leave just before Remus’ name is called, he turns back to see the Weasleys.

“Molly, Arthur!  Merlin, it’s been _years_ ,” Remus comments in genuine surprise as that fact occurs to him.  He’s rather shocked he hasn’t bumped into them here before.

“It has, it’s good to see you Remus, you boys don’t write often enough!” Molly admonishes him, he smiles at her and nods.

“I know, I know,” He says with a chuckle.

“Oh, Ginny, this is an old friend of ours, Remus Lupin,” Arthur introduces, “This is our youngest, Ginny Weasley.  I think Molly was still pregnant with her last time we saw you.” Remus nods, thinking it over.

“Yes, she was.  It’s nice to meet you Ginny.” Ginny hides behind her Mother, he smiles kindly before turning back to her parents, “These are my youngest, Benoit and Sevrin. Benni, Rin, this is Molly and Arthur Weasley.”

“Hi,” Benni says, nervously gluing himself to his Father’s leg.

“Hello Dear, it’s lovely to meet you.”

“How are the others?  Bill and Charlie must have graduated by now,” Remus asks when Sevrin does nothing but scrunch his nose up at them, for which he gets a very disapproving look from his Father.

“Yes, Bill’s a curse-breaker for Gringotts now, Charlie’s over in Romania studying dragons,” Molly tells him, Remus’ eyes widen.

“Wow, he always has loved them, hasn’t he?  How about Percy, he’s got to be nearly out as well.”

“He’s Gryffindor’s Prefect this year,” Molly states proudly, Remus chuckles.

“You know I think that’s the look my Mother had on her face saying the exact same thing years ago,” He tells her, Molly laughs.

“Fred and George are little troublemakers, Minerva said to me the other day that they remind her of four other boys she once taught.” Remus laughs at that, smiling widely.

“I’m glad someone’s keeping her on her toes.  Might have to give them a few tips.”

“Remus Lupin, don’t you dare!” Remus puts his hands up in surrender, but still with a happy smile on his face.  Most of the time mention of his old friends makes him rather morose, but for some reason this time it doesn’t.  All he can think is how happy the others would be that someone was still causing mayhem within the school.  If only they could give them the map somehow, “How’s Jamie?”

“She’s good, friends with Fred and George from what I’m told.”

“Must be her leading my boys astray, gets it from her Father no doubt,” Molly tells him teasingly, Remus doesn’t deny it.

“I hear Severus is teaching at Hogwarts now, are you two still close?” Arthur asks, Remus raises an eyebrow, sensing this is going in a direction he’s not going to like much, still he nods.

“Yes, actually, we got married a few years ago.” Molly’s smiles, clearly approving of the match.  For some reason he can’t quite work out, that approval makes him very happy.

“You…may want to talk to him…” Arthur says awkwardly.

“Percy has nightmares about his classes,” Ginny tells him, finally speaking up only to hide away again when both her parents turn frustrated looks on her.  Remus frowns, he knows Severus isn’t the most patient person, but surely if things were _that_ bad, someone would step in.

“What’s he doing?” Molly and Arthur both look uncomfortable.

“He’s just a bit, um, cruel?” Molly tells him, Arthur offering “Harsh.” At her hesitation as well.

“Papa just looks like that, he really likes cuddles though and people who like cuddles aren’t _really_ scary.  Unless they aren’t meant to cuddle you, then it’s bad.” Remus facepalms slightly at Sevrin’s words, Molly and Arthur just seem amused.  They have seven kids of their own afterall.

“I’m sure he’s just trying to control the class,” Remus tells them, “I’ll have a talk with him, see what’s going on.”  The two parents look a bit _too_ relieved for these to be minor concerns, he strengthens his resolve to speak with his husband as soon as the term is over.  No good stressing him out further during the term, it would only make things worse for everyone.

 

Of course, three days later he gets a letter from said husband that makes him question if he should have had this conversation immediately, or possibly never.

_Remus,_

_So, I met Harry._

_May have made a_ _…_ _bad first impression._

_Yeah, okay, I totally balls_ _’_ _d this up._

_Um, oops?_

_Your very loving husband whom you love very much,_

_Sev_

_P.S. STOP PANICKING, I_ _’_ _M FIXING IT!_

Remus debates what to write back before deciding to let him attempt to sort the situation out first, then get the full story from him later.

 

_Dad,_

_I decided to keep my distance from Harry, we haven_ _’_ _t even spoken._

_He upset Dragon and that_ _’_ _s not something that is allowed to happen nor something I will look past.  Not even for my long lost cousin._

_Anyways, I love you and I miss you heaps.  I_ _’_ _ll see you at Christmas._

_Jamie_

_Remus,_

_Harry_ _’_ _s Gryffindor_ _’_ _s new seeker._

_Minerva saw him flying when he shouldn_ _’_ _t have been and apparently decided a good way to punish the child was to let him play Quidditch a year early._

_Gryffindors._

_Sev_

 

Remus chuckles as he reads this, James would be so damned proud of his Nephew.

 

_REMUS,_

_~~THOSE DAMNED POTTERS ARE GOING TO BE THE FUCKING DEATH OF ME!~~ _

_There_ _’_ _s a bit of a situation developing here._

_For starters there was this troll in the dungeons, and then it went in the Girls_ _’_ _bathroom.  Harry and his friends were inside.  So that happened.  They_ _’_ _re fine, the mountain troll less so.  Minerva is very done with life I believe, blaming James for Harry_ _’_ _s reckless stupidity._

_Also, got bitten in the leg by a dog so I won_ _’_ _t be able to meet you and the boys in Hogsmeade this weekend._

_Oh, and Jamie has decided that she doesn_ _’_ _t like the DADA teacher this year.  I see where she_ _’_ _s coming from, but maybe you should suggest that poking holes into everything he says may be funny but isn_ _’_ _t the best way to deal with things?  I tried but she just turns around and is all_ _‘_ _well maybe calling him out in front of everyone isn_ _’_ _t the best way to deal with a student you don_ _’_ _t like._ _’_ _I_ _’_ _m not appreciating her attitude lately.  Even Minerva_ _’_ _s commented on it.  Is something going on I don_ _’_ _t know about?_

_Sev_

Remus pulls out a piece of parchment from his pocket and a pen, sitting at the counter of the store he works in, debating what to say.  Really though, what the hell could he say to this?  ‘sounds like a bloody interesting year?’ Though honestly the more pressing question for him is, what the hell was Harry doing in the girls’ bathroom to begin with?  In the end, his response is purely about Jamie and that he has no idea what’s happening but he’ll suggest she find another way to deal with her teacher.

_Remus,_

_There was an incident today.  That I dealt with very calmly._

_Harry_ _’_ _s broom was jinxed, don_ _’_ _t worry, he_ _’_ _s okay._

_I was set on fire, and I don_ _’_ _t know how, but he had something to do with it._

_I am also okay, it was just my robe._

_I_ _’_ _ll keep you updated._

_Oh, and Harry swallowed the snitch, won the first game of the year.  He was excited, I don_ _’_ _t understand how he could be happy after having to basically vomit up a golden ball with wings but_ _…_ _to each their own?_

_Sev_

Remus reads the note and sighs, none of his previous questions answered but many anew.  He can’t decide if he’s more shocked Harry swallowed the snitch or surprised that James didn’t manage to do that at some point.  Remus makes a mental note to tell Del as much about this as he can manage when he next visits.  Except perhaps the troll, and the broom jinx.  Okay maybe just the Quidditch win.

 

_Remus,_

_Harry, Ron Weasley, and a girl who reminds me quite a bit of Narcissa, have been caught out of bed and given detention._

_So has Draco._

_And Neville._

_Apparently there was a dragon involved?  Not sure who to believe, on the one hand, I_ _’_ _d like to believe my God-Son is not lying about a dragon.  On the other, at this point I think he and Harry will do anything to get the other in trouble._

_This rivalry is reaching astoundingly stupid levels._

_Draco keeps talking to me about it, I_ _’_ _m going to tell him to start writing to you.  Good luck with this one._

_Sev_

_P.S. Jamie found a new way to deal with Quirrell like you suggested.  She goaded Peeves into tormenting the poor man.  Listen, just don_ _’_ _t bring it up with her again okay?  I have something to deal with with him, so I_ _’_ _m pulling a no questions asked to get her to leave him alone.  But if you mention it she_ _’_ _ll start getting curious._

_Uncle Remus,_

_So that boy I had an odd feeling about, turns out that was Harry bloody Potter!_

_And he_ _’_ _s a total moron.  A stupidly oblivious total moron.  Hanging out with a Weasley of all things.  It_ _’_ _s embarrassing enough when Jamie does it, but to choose one over_ me _.  I tried to be nice, tried to offer my friendship, and he basically spit on me._

_He embarrassed me in front of the entire class during our first flying lesson, and is being stupidly nice to some student who, if it weren_ _’_ _t for losing control of his broom and breaking his wrist, I would think was a squib!_

_Uncle Sev thinks Potter and that Longbottom kid are just as useless and annoying as I do._

_He_ _’_ _s all_ _‘_ _look at me look at me, I_ _’_ _m Harry Potter with amazingly messy hair all the time even when I haven_ _’_ _t been flying and I sassed the Potions Master and everyone just loves me oh so much with my stupid hair and my stupid scar and my stupid EVERYTHING_ _’_

_It_ _’_ _s quite distracting in class._

_Draco_

_Sev,_

_I_ _’_ _ve just had a letter from Draco._

_What is this I hear about you thinking Neville and Harry are useless and annoying?_

_And Harry sassing you?_

_Also, I could swear Draco_ _’_ _s describing James_ _’_ _hair._

_Remus_

_Draco,_

_If you want to be his friend, perhaps you could try not insulting his friends?_

_It may be a good idea to simply leave it all be, Severus told me about the detention, I don_ _’_ _t want you being dragged into trouble whenever those three are being reckless._

_Is Neville all right after the accident?_

_Just focus on your friends and your studies, there_ _’_ _s no need to go a full on rivalry and challenge him to a duel or something._

_Now, what_ _’_ _s this about a dragon?_

_Also, I miss you, how are your lessons going?  Are the others having fun?_

_Remus_

_Remus,_

_That is quite the exaggeration on what I said._

_However when I said I made a bad first impression, well, he may still be under that impression._

_I did not fix it._

_Things have gotten a bit_ _…_ _complicated here and unfortunately it_ _’_ _s not high on my list of priorities, I_ _’_ _ll sort it out as soon as possible.  Make it up to him next year or something._

_That little prick is the sassiest thing I_ _’_ _ve ever met and I_ _’_ _ve met a drunk Lucius Malfoy.  We both know he turns into the sassiest and campest man alive.  This kid is worse._

_He still looks just like James, Dumbledore appears to have put a charm on him at some point though._

_He has Lily_ _ ’ _ _ s eyes!!! _

 

_Sev_

_Uncle Remus,_

_…_ _I never told you Longbottom_ _’_ _s first name._

_And um, too late?  It_ _’_ _s a long story, well it_ _’_ _s not, but it_ _’_ _s one you won_ _’_ _t approve of and it_ _’_ _s too late to change what happened now so I_ _’_ _m doing as you suggest and moving on._

_However, can I just add, he got a nimbus 2000 and he_ _ ’ _ _ s being allowed to keep it! _

_No matter what Uncle Sev or anyone says I am not lying and I am not crazy!_

_There was a bloody dragon!!!_

_That feral servant that lives in the hutch had one and they snuck it to the roof and I don_ _’_ _t even know how because I was watching for them.  It_ _’_ _s like they were invisible!_

****

_Draco_

_P.S. Under no circumstances do I want to be Harry_ _‘_ _look at me_ _’_ _Potter_ _’_ _s friend._

_Sev,_

_What happened to Neville?_

_And what the hell is going on in that damned school?!_

_Mountain trolls, Dragons, dogs, a jinxed broom, a complicated duel that may or may not be a long story._

_Did I mention that apparently Hagrid had a dragon?!_

_Dammit Severus these kids should be your priority, what is the hell is happening?_

_Remus_

_Draco,_

_I know his parents, they_ _’_ _re good people._

_I don_ _’_ _t even know how to respond to Hagrid having a dragon.  I_ _’_ _ve only met him a few times but I must say, I_ _’_ _m not all that surprised._

_Never ever tell me that story.  Long or no._

_And listen, you don_ _’_ _t have to be his friend.  But you_ _’_ _re doing the right thing letting it all go.  I_ _’_ _m proud of you._

_Remus_

_Uncle Remus,_

_I am never getting detention again_ _…_

_I am also never getting another night of sleep again._

_Draco_

_Remus,_

_I_ _’_ _m not sure what Draco may have told you but, detention did not go to plan._

_Everything is under control though._

_We_ _’_ _re fixing it._

_Severus_

Remus can’t help but notice his husband is avoiding all of his questions like he’s avoiding seeing Remus.  He saw him for Christmas during which he side-stepped any attempt to talk about school, instead turning the focus on their kids, and that’s been it.  Usually Severus can’t wait to get out of there, but this time it’s almost like it kills him not to stay.

He’s worried.

 

_Uncle Remus,_

_Exams are over, somehow._

_I did brilliantly in History of Magic, Professor Binns asked if I was interested in tutoring the first years next year given how well I did in class.  I told him I only did so well with your help, he seemed to look an odd mix of pride, disgust, and smugness.  It was a strange interaction._

_We officially find out how we did in a week!_

_Draco_

Sufficed to say, Remus is very glad to get a letter from Draco about normal school studies.  Like the ones he’s gotten from Blaise, Pansy, Theo, Astoria, and Daphne.

Actually he’s gotten them from a lot of Slytherin house, apparently the idea that he’s better at explaining things than many teachers got around and he was rather suddenly flooded with pleas of a sensible explanation.

 

_Remus,_

_Draco had another episode._

_They_ _’_ _re getting more frequent, Pansy and Blaise managed to hide it though._

_Severus_

_Mr Lupin,_

_Dunno if you remememberr me, I was at Hogwarts with Del ~~Potter~~ Black._

_Think we may huv met once or twice durin the war._

_Anyways I_ _’_ _ve met yung Harry an he_ _’_ _s had a bit of a tuff year._

_I_ _’_ _m puting together a photo album for him lookin for any picchures of his parents that can be spared._

_Rubeus Hagrid_

 

Remus looks at the letter in shock, tears immediately filling his eyes and he can’t even work out why.  But he has multiple copies of all of the photos he has.

Immediately he goes through the ones he has, and then he freezes.  He’s not looking for pictures of Harry’s parents, he’s looking for pictures of Lily and James.

Remus spends a good fifteen minutes cursing everything and crying.  Then he tries to find all the photos that have all four of them in it.  That was easy to explain, but all of them have Sirius in them, obviously since he’s one of the four of them, and that doesn’t seem fair.  Sure, Remus is sort of completely certain that he’s innocent, but Harry won’t know that, Hagrid certainly won’t.  And neither of them know he’s Harry’s Dad.

He does the best thing he can, he finds a picture of James and Lily on their wedding day, Sirius is in it but Remus figures Hagrid can cut him out if he so chooses.  Puts in a bunch of pictures of baby Harry with Lily and/or James, and very happily throws in a picture of James, Lily, Del, and Harry.  He debates whether to show one with Hermione in it, but thinks that will raise questions he doesn’t want to answer.

Instead, he puts in a photo of the whole group from back in first year.  He then decides to do something his Husband will _kill_ him for, and adds a photo of Severus, Lily, and James, sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room early sixth year, before everything went wrong.  Nothing decidedly relationshippy about them besides them all being rather close together, but their all laughing about something and look happy.  He also throws in a picture of the group, this time including Petunia and Phia, from a Christmas at the Potters.

He’s done his best to give Harry his family back, maybe it isn’t the complete picture, but it’s better than he’s had so far.  He sends them off with a letter thanking Hagrid for looking out for him.

 

 

Three days later Severus turns up, ashen faced and shaky.

“Severus?”

“Before you get mad, he ordered me not to tell you.” Remus frowns at him, leaving his desk where he was writing a reply to Blaise about where he was going after school ended and if his Mother had shown up yet.

“What happened?”

“Voldemort tried to come back.” Remus freezes, “He was possessing Quirrell, has been all year.  We-We weren’t sure, at first.  We only knew he was after the Philosopher’s stone, we knew he would come looking for it.  Turns out he was already here.

“The stone has been safe the whole time but, I think things may have ended rather ugly if Harry and his friends hadn’t intervened.  They’re fine, by the way.  Harry killed Quirrell, Voldemort’s gone again but…he’ll be back.  Harry, he won’t talk about what happened.  Dumbledore said he had a few questions but as for the specifics, he’s keeping it to himself.” Remus rushes forwards and wraps his Husband in his arms, holding him close.

“It’s over now Love.  We’ll protect them when he comes back, we _will_.  Are you all right?  Did you get hurt?” Severus shakes his head, taking a few breaths and calming himself.

“No, well, besides the dog bite, nearly tore off my leg the damned thing, left a hell of a scar.”

“WHAT DAMNED DOG!?” Remus suddenly screams, Severus looks at him in surprise, he slaps a hand over his own mouth, “I’m sorry Sev, it’s just, I kept asking, and honestly it’s bothering me more than the dragon.”

“There was no dragon Remus.”

“I really think there was.  This business with you-know-who, does it have something to do with Draco’s recurring nightmares of detention?” Severus sighs, nodding his head.

“I didn’t find out what they were doing for detention until the next day, chewed Dumbledore out so much I could have sworn you’d taken control of me.  There was a Cerberus guarding the stone, one of its heads bit me.”  Remus sighs, shaking his head.

“Severus, is that school safe?  For you or the students, for our kids?” Severus suddenly looks extremely overwhelmed.

“I was so afraid, what if he came back, what if it happened all over again.  He was _in the same room_ as him, again!  What if he hadn’t survived this time?  He looks so much like James and now with Lily’s eyes and I just…” Remus holds him as he breaks down, rubbing his back soothingly as he waits out the tide.

“Feel better?” He asks when Severus has, at last, calmed down, he nods.

“Yes, sorry, it’s just been a stressful year.  At least we know next year ought to be a breeze?  I mean, there can’t exactly be a more dangerous creature lurking about unknown, right?  After a Cerberus and possibly a Dragon.” Remus chuckles and nods.

“And I thought it was bad when there was a Werewolf there.”

“Nah, Werewolves aren’t a problem, especially one with blunt fangs.” Severus sprints out of the room, Remus chasing after him.

“I DO NOT HAVE BLUNT FANGS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there's Philosopher's (Or Sorcerer's if you're in America) stone out the way at last, woof!  
> For those of you interested in hearing about Jamie's time in Hogwarts, I'll put a few snapshots in the side story which I am officially starting tonight!  
> Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed this, I feel like this story is really beginning to kick off again after an awkward and rather rushed few chapters. Hopefully it all goes well :)  
> Thanks for reading!


	44. Unbelievable, Just Unbelievable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea what to put here as a warning, but this chapter may be hard for some people to read. Specifically after the events of Chamber of Secrets, some stuff happens. It could be a bit confronting.

Chapter 42

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

“…get on the team and then I’ll show him!” Remus and Severus walk out of the entrance hall and deeper into Malfoy Manor, meeting the four they’re looking for in the dining room.  Well, Severus walks, Remus hobbles along with his walking stick.  The full moon was two days ago and a particularly bad one.  Jamie and the boys had opted to stay with Lucius and Narcissa a day longer than usual so that Severus could look after their Dad.

“Yes Draco, I’m sure you will.  You know there is more to Quidditch than besting one boy,” Lucius points out to his Son who seems outraged by the very idea.

“Not if that boy is better than every other Quidditch player I’ve ever seen _combined_!”  Sevrin and Benoit exchange a look at each other, grinning mockingly.

“Does someone have a _crush_?” Sevrin asks, he and his twin chuckling as Draco turns purple in the face, obviously about to explode in outrage.  From Benoit the laughter seems teasing yet fond, but in Sevrin…something about it just seems cruel.

“Remus!  Severus!  How wonderful of you to join us!” Lucius greets desperately upon noticing them.

“Dad, Daddle!” Jamie says, “Thank Merlin,” She adds under her breath, Draco glares at her, she ignores him.  Remus snickers at the name slightly, he still thinks it’s hilarious.  Severus elbows him in the stomach.

“Splendid timing boys,” Narcissa tells them, Remus chuckles.

“Nice to see you too Narc, Lucius.  What’s going on Little Dragon?  You seem a bit worked up.”

“I was just telling Mother and Father that I’m going to get on the team and get the snitch and win my house the Quidditch tournament and then my house the house cup and everything will be entirely splendid, and I’ll get to watch him lose.” Remus sighs.

“Draco –”

“You should have _seen_ his face when Gryffindor won last year, he was mocking me, I could tell.”

“Draco I’m sure he wasn’t –”

“Tell them Uncle Sev!” Draco requests, as though it were _that_ obvious, the other three adults and three kids turn to Severus who shuffles on his feet awkwardly for a moment.

“He actually sort of was,” Severus admits, Lucius and Narcissa glare at him, Jamie laughs, “What?  He is!  Arrogant as he is it’s of no surprise.”

“SEE!”

“SEVERUS!” Remus calls, scandalised, Severus rolls his eyes, “I thought you were planning on fixing things, not making it worse.  Making it up to him this year, remember?”

“Yes, yes, I promise, no more cracks about his fa…ther.” Severus’ eyes widen at the mistake, looking over to see his husband looking like he’s about to explode, “Oops.”  Jamie glares daggers at her Daddle who avoids the gaze of both her and his husband.

“We’ll talk about this later Severus.”

“Yes Love.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Uncle Remus so angry,” Draco whispers to his Father who facepalms.

“Draco, do you recall one of the things about Lycanthropy you learnt being a Werewolf’s brilliant hearing?” Draco’s eyes widen as he turns to look at Remus who looks entirely done with life.  Sevrin laughs at him, Benoit walks over to Severus and hugs him around the legs, Severus putting an arm around the nervous boy’s shoulders.  He doesn’t do well with confrontation.

“Sorry Uncle Remus.”

“Draco, never apologise for something if you’re only sorry you got caught.  Unless it’s _actually_ going to get you out of trouble.  Then always do it.  I’ve forgotten my point.  Look, both of you, just leave the boy alone this year.  Draco, there is honestly no reason for you to interact with him unless you are partnered by a teacher.  Severus, stop tormenting your students.  I already had a conversation with a very concerned Molly, that’s not a situation I’d like to deal with again.”

“When did you see Molly?” Severus asks him, Remus raises an eyebrow, “No tormenting students, be nice to Potter, anything else?”

“Neville.”

“Fine.”

“The station, she and Arthur were at the station when I dropped Jamie and Blaise off last September.  The boys and I met Ginny, the baby Molly hadn’t had yet.  She’s adorable, apparently you’ve actually given one of her brother’s recurring nightmares.” Severus scratches his head awkwardly.

“Right, be nicer.  Got it, I can be nice.” Narcissa legitimately _snorts_ at that, Severus glares at her, “Watch it or I’ll throw a chicken at you.”

“What are you, my mother?”

“God I hope not,” Remus mutters, “What a nightmare that would be.”

“Are you two here for a reason?” Lucius asks, suddenly having realised they weren’t supposed to be in his home until this afternoon, Severus groans, sinking into a seat at the table and covering his head in his arms.  Remus takes that as his cue to answer the question.

“We found out who the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher is.”

“Who?” All three Malfoys and Jamie ask at once, Remus looks like he can’t decide between being annoyed or amused.

“Gilderoy Lockhart.”

 

Over the next few weeks, prior to the new school year starting, they see significantly less of the Malfoys than usual.  Draco and his friends still turn up at their house at random points, Blaise stays over a few times when his Mother isn’t home by 10, as is the standard rule.  Not one she knows about either, she’s just never noticed he’s not there when she’s gotten home later.  Then Draco stops coming.

It’s not until late August that they find out what’s wrong, Narcissa is sick.

Lucius shows up at their house, tears in his eyes as they freeze in the middle of eating their breakfast/drinking potion.

“You’ll want to hurry,” He tells them before flooing back to his home.

They drop everything and go through, Remus still in his pyjama bottoms and no shirt, hobbling through because it’s a full moon tonight and he feels shit but left in such a hurry that he forgot his walking stick.  They find Draco sitting at the bottom of the stairs, tears in his rather dead looking eyes, until he sees them, then he breaks.  Remus grabs him, picking him up despite the weariness, despite the pain, and gesturing for Severus, Jamie, and the twins to go on without him as he takes their God-Son back to his room.

Remus holds Draco until he falls asleep, tucking him in as he leaves, sniffing out the others easily and finding them in the Master Bedroom.

He walks in to find a pale Narcissa, laying in bed, and looking like she hasn’t moved in a while, Jamie on the bed beside her, hugging her gently.  Benoit is sat at the foot of the bed while Sevrin sits on the other side of Narcissa from Jamie, holding her hand.

“Narc?” Narcissa chuckles a bit.

“That old name,” She croaks out, “I told them not to worry you but, well, it’s time to worry now.”

“What’s wrong?” Remus asks, sitting beside her on the bed, he notices Lucius in the corner of the room with Severus and apparently having a meltdown.  Severus leads him out of the room but not before Remus hears that Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks are on their way.  Narcissa looks dubiously at Jamie who sighs.

“I’m going to go check on Draco,” She declares before leaving the room, kissing her Aunt on the forehead before she goes.  Benoit follows after her, Sevrin leaving after Narcissa nods at him to follow his brother.

“They don’t know.  Could be a number of things, could be none of them.  The leading theory amongst the healers is that everything my Parents did when I was young has finally caught up with me.”

“Why aren’t you in St Mungos?” Narcissa looks sad.

“I was, for a full month.  It was bad when I got there, they’ve done their best but…they suggested I come home and be more comfortable.” Remus understands, he wishes he didn’t.  He takes her hand, holding it tightly in his own.

“We’ll be okay Narc, I promise.  We’ll find a way to be.” She nods, squeezing his hand as much as she can manage, it isn’t much.

“I know.  Look after them Remy, please.”  Remus startles at the name, tears spilling out of his eyes as he nods.

“Always, Narc, always.”

“Remy, I-I’m sorry, for everything my family has put you through, for everything my sister did to you,” She tells him, he shakes his head.

“None of that is on you, her mind was completely shattered.  But, for what it’s worth, I forgive you.  All of you.  I love you Narcissa, you’ve been like a sister to me for so long.” Narcissa nods.

“And you me, I love you too Little Brother.”

Remus leans down and hugs her, holding her for a while until she goes back to sleep, he then leaves to find the others.

Lucius is not okay.

None of them are.

 

A few days later, she’s gone.

Remus can never believe how sudden it all was, though, he supposes, for Draco and Lucius, it was a long and drawn out hell.

 

 

Draco sits in his room, worrying.  His Father is planning something and he knows it, but what to do?

He’s fairly certain he heard the word Basilisk, which is worrying enough, but combined with mudbloods and Salazar Slytherin…Draco is pretty sure his Father isn’t dealing with his Mother’s death very well.  And okay, really, who is?  His Uncle Remus gave himself quite a few new scars during the full moon, and he’d finally been calming slightly to a more normal point.  He won’t ever talk about what went wrong to begin with, no one will, but Draco’s pretty certain part of the problem is related to why Remus freaked the shit out when he asked a question about his Aunt Bella.

The thing is, all his Mother has cared about for a long time is protecting children.  She’d quietly told him about her worries when he was born into war time, and about how much her siblings and she went through, how much his Father did.  Now it seemed his Father was ignoring his Mother’s greatest wishes in a fit of rather murderous grief.  But how could he stop it without getting his Father into deep shit?  His first instinct is to tell his Uncles, but his Uncle Sev actually works at the school, isn’t it his duty to report a possible threat and have it dealt with? No way Uncle Remus doesn’t mention this to his husband, not when it’s the safety of the students at risk, one of his Father’s best friends or no.

Might be easier to work out if he could talk to someone, but even Dobby’s been disappearing lately.

So that left the question, what to do?

He decides to speak to Jamie about it, he can always count on his cousin and he knows she won’t tell her parents.  If he requests it, she won’t tell her brothers either.  He’s not close with either of the twins.  Benni’s too shy and Sevrin gives him the heebie-jeebies in a way he just can’t make sense of.  His Father says the same about the boy.  So when he speaks to her, the first thing he does is request she tell _no one_ , and then explains the situation, asking for advice.

“Well, there isn’t much _you_ can do, but maybe there’s someone at school who _can_ help.  You can somehow give them a hint that something is up without letting them know who you are?” She suggests, he looks thoughtful, “Use your Slytherin sneakiness.  And let me know if I can help.”

 

 

Eventually school goes back, and with it, Severus’ piece of mind.

Remus silently places a bet with himself over which will happen first, Harry doing something stupid, or Remus getting fired.  He holds out hope that his Nephew will refrain from anything too reckless this year.

 

_Remus,_

_If they don_ _’_ _t manage to kill themselves by the end of the year, I may just do it for them._

_Harry and Ron apparently decided the train was far too boring a way to get to school. They nearly destroyed your tree._

_Read the Prophet._

_Sev_

 

Remus looks at the letter nervously before hearing a tapping that lets him know the owl with his paper has arrived.  Remus goes and grabs it, reading about a flying car, and sighs.

If you lose a bet against yourself, who pays?

 

_Sev,_

_Please tell me they haven_ _’_ _t gotten themselves expelled._

_Remus_

_Remus,_

_I think at this point Harry almost wishes he had, or is missing the detention with Hagrid from last year._

_He_ _’_ _s serving it with Lockhart_ _…_

_No Expulsion, though it was a close thing._

_May have made another bad impression_ _…_ _oops?_

_Sev_

Remus sighs, though he supposes it could be worse.  Then there’s the letter that arrives the next morning.

 

_Remus,_

_This. Damned. Kid._

_A cat, Remus, there_ _’_ _s a petrified cat! Mrs Norris has been petrified, Filch is beside himself, did Del ever mention what kind of tea he likes?_

_Also there was a message written in blood on the wall beside the cat, and flooding on the floor._

_And who is standing at the scene when we arrive?_

_Harry. Potter.  Well, and the other two._

_He didn_ _’_ _t do it of course, but of all the damned people._

_Del would never have allowed her Son to be raised like this.  I think James and Lily would be proud though, especially Lily.  He reminds me of her sometimes._

_Sev_

_Sev,_

_English Breakfast, and remind him that petrification is curable, yes?_

_Where did the blood come from?  What did it say?  Is everyone all right?_

_Are you?_

_This school is going down hill and I really am beginning to think you should look for a new job._

_Remus_

_Dad,_

_For the record, I am only letting it go because of Auntie Cissa and am kindly chalking this up to grief, but Dragon used the_ _‘_ _M_ _’_ _word today in reference to a Muggle-born student._

_Fred and George told me about it, they were planning ways to get back at him.  I told them he_ _’_ _s my cousin and I_ _’_ _ll deal with it, but now they_ _’_ _re being all wary of me.  It was bad enough just being a Slytherin, but now a Black too?  Things are getting awkward._

_Still, they_ _’_ _re leaving Dragon alone.  I hear him say it again though and I_ _’_ _m setting his hair on fire.  My Uncle_ _’_ _s Father invented Sleakeazy, I blasted know how to make it combust!_

_Jamie_

_Remus,_

_‘_ _The chamber of secrets has been opened, enemies of the heir_ _…_ _beware._ _’_

_We_ _’_ _ll be fine, Albus is taking this threat surprisingly seriously._

_You can bet your blasted britches that the Golden Trio will find a way to get themselves into further trouble though._

_Sev_

_Sev,_

_The Chamber of Secrets?  The one that was supposedly opened twenty years ago?  When Myrtle died?  That chamber?_

_Because if only the heir can open it, and Tom opened it last time then_ _…_

_Seriously Love, just quit._

_Remus_

_Jamie,_

_If they are going to be twats about your family, perhaps it is their_ _hair you should be setting on fire._

_Honestly, to judge someone based on family, it_ _’_ _s ridiculous._

_As for Draco, just talk to him.  He_ _’_ _s got a lot going on, as you know, and school is probably stressing him out and leaving his Father and such._

_However, if he doesn_ _’_ _t let up about this sort of thing, tell your Daddle._

_Je t_ _’_ _aime B_ _ébé_

_Dad_

_Remus,_

_Are you suggesting Harry is the heir to Slytherin?_

_Sev_

_Sev,_

_Yes, however I am not suggesting he_ _’_ _s the one who did this._

_Which I realise doesn_ _’_ _t make sense._

_But I stand by it._

_Remus_

_Remus,_

_So,_

_Harry_ _’_ _s a Parselmouth._

_Sev_

 

Remus sighs, this kid’s life is bloody unbelievable, and now he’s getting letters from Draco because ‘ _Of course everything else wasn_ _’_ _t enough, he_ _’_ _s a bloody parselmouth as well!_ ’

 

_Remus,_

_They_ _’_ _re at it again._

_The girl_ _’_ _s been petrified._

_So has another student, and Sir Nicholas._

_Albus is talking about shutting down the school._

_Sev_

_Dad,_

_‘_ _You_ _’_ _ll be next, Mudbloods._ _’_

_Actual phrase used by Draco Malfoy after the first message in blood.  Only just found out about it._

_If it weren_ _’_ _t for everything going on, I would tell Daddle.  He_ _’_ _s got enough going on at the moment._

_On the other hand, George got over being a_ _‘_ _twat_ _’_ _as you put it and swayed Fred over to non-twat territory.  They both apologised, I turned their hair into spaghetti, and now their baby sister is missing.  To be honest, I think most of their original reaction was because of the Chamber being opened and everything.  Still, now Ginny_ _’_ _s missing, the teachers have no idea what_ _’_ _s going on, and I_ _’_ _m pretty sure I saw a rogue Dobby._

_I don_ _’_ _t know what I_ _’_ _m meant to do._

_Jamie_

_Remus,_

_There was another message,_

_‘_ _Her skeleton will lie in the chamber forever_ _’_ _and Ginny Weasley is missing._

_They_ _’_ _ve sent Lockhart after him.  This kid is going to die Remus._

_He_ _’_ _s going to bolt._

_I_ _’_ _ve told Minerva if both of them aren_ _’_ _t back safely tomorrow I_ _’_ _m going to scour the bloody castle and find a way down there myself._

_She says she_ _’_ _ll be right behind me, neither of us are letting a student die on our watch._

_Sev_

_Sev,_

_Please don_ _’_ _t die,_

_either of you._

_Remus_

_Jamie,_

_Leave the teachers to handle it, keep George and Fred out of it, and I swear to god, set Draco_ _’_ _s freaking hair on fire if he tries to make a crack at a Weasley right now._

_Dad_

_Molly,_

_I heard about what_ _’_ _s happened in the school.  I wasn_ _’_ _t sure how much of an opportunity to get an explanation you_ _’_ _ve had._

_If you_ _’_ _d like to come over for tea, I can tell you everything I know._

_For now, rest assured that Minerva and Severus are tearing the castle apart trying to find her._

_Remus_

Remus spends the night panicking, just generally freaking the hell out.  He can’t lose his husband, he really can’t.  He knows they have to save Ginny, and by god he hopes they do, but dammit he’s lost so much already and it’s not fair!

…it’s not fair.

Molly does come over for tea, just a few hours after he sent the letter.  He explains what he knows of the Chamber and what’s happening and such, leaving out that Harry’s an heir to Slytherin.  She really hadn’t been given any information, and whilst none of what he gives her is particularly comforting, she is relieved to at least know more about what’s going on.  He promises to keep her updated, she does as well.

 

 

_Remus,_

_We_ _’_ _ve no idea what happened, Ginny doesn_ _’_ _t remember much and Harry doesn_ _’_ _t want to talk about it.  Albus knows but also won_ _’_ _t say._

_Lockhart_ _’_ _s lost all memories, apparently the imbisule obliviated himself._

_Everyone_ _’_ _s been unpetrified._

_Harry_ _’_ _s saved the school._

_Gryffindor won the house cup again._

_I_ _’_ _m so done._

_Sev_

Remus sets the letter aside, glad everything worked out but now rather disinterested.

 

_“_ _My name_ _’_ _s Tom, Tom Riddle._ _”_

Remus doesn’t think he’s ever regretted hearing a sentence so thoroughly.

The Locket in his hands seems to be burning pain into his very soul and it’s all he can do not to throw it and kick it and scream.  The box beside him seems to be laughing at him while the rain pours down, the only thing bringing him any modicum of comfort.

Remus picks up the letter he’d received over an hour ago, when he’d first come to sit out here on his front door step.

_Remy,_

_I lost my brother a long time ago as I know you did yours.  This locket was a gift from him, given a week before the attack.  It is and has always been my memory of him, but now there is no one left to keep the memory alive.  It is my hope this locket may become a reminder of your own brother so that he may always be near your heart._

_Who knows, perhaps you_ _’_ _ll remember me too._

_Your fellow wolf and Packmate,_

_Eleenie Randona_

With the letter had been another from her husband letting him know that Eleenie had been murdered, not that it will be legally counted as such, when a wizard had found her safe place during the full moon and killed her.  He also thought he should know that their son had been killed during the war because Eleenie had refused to join you-know-who, along with details for the funeral should he choose to attend.

It’s then that another owl arrives with yet another letter and Remus seriously considers setting anything and everything on fire because _can_ _’_ _t anyone tell I am not in the mood to deal with any of this?!_   Still, it’s from Dumbledore so he figures it’s probably important in some fashion.

 

_Remus,_

_After some unfortunate circumstances, Hogwarts is, unsurprisingly, in need of a new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.  Your name was suggested and I certainly agree you would be a brilliant fit._

_If you are interested please reply and we shall make a time to meet,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

 

Well, he hadn’t been expecting that but, maybe he can be to some kids what Eleenie had been to him.  A competent teacher, a confidant, a friend.  Plus, what better way to try and keep his various charges out of trouble?  Sadly that now includes his husband.  Who’d have ever thought Pansy Parkinson was the one having a boring time at school?

Of course, someone would need to watch the boys during the school terms.  His parents _have_ been saying they don’t see them enough.  Remus’ main concern is how Benoit would take such a separation…still, it does not hurt to have a conversation.

 

_Albus,_

_What time works for you?_

Lucius Malfoy paces his study, it’s all so unthinkable.

“House-elf gone, Draco’s going to kill me.  How on Earth did that child and the Weasel and the _mudblood_ figure it all out?!” He mutters to himself angrily.

“Well, if I were to hazard a guess, I’d suspect the page about Basilisks, that someone slipped into Granger’s bag, gave it away,” Draco says from the doorway, Lucius turns to look at his Son in shock, “Tore it out of a book in Flourish and Blotts before school began.”

“Draco?  You…you _dare_ to –”

“ _I_ dare to?  No, don’t you turn this on me.  I don’t know what the hell you were thinking but if you thought I was going to let you murder a bunch of children you were dead wrong.  Get help Father, you need it.  Or else Mother won’t be the only thing you’ve lost.”

Draco turns up at Remus and Severus’ place, looking rather anxious.

“Little Dragon?” Remus asks as he walks into the room.

“Can I stay here tonight?”  Blaise walks into the room as well, freezing when he sees Draco who seems too out of it to really register what’s wrong with that.

“I’m happy to share my room,” Blaise tells Remus, worry for his friend, even if Draco won’t admit that’s what they are, clear on his face.

“Of course Draco, you’re always welcome here.”

 

It’s a month before summer holidays end when Severus arrives home with Jamie and Blaise after having been shopping for birthday presents for Andromeda.  He immediately knows something is not right and stops the children before they even reach the porch.

“Kids, go next door to Alexandre’s place,” Severus tells them, “Take this, call your Grandpa, tell him to get Aurors to our house.” Blaise hesitates but Jamie grabs him by the collar of his shirt and takes the phone from her Daddle’s hand before dragging Blaise to their neighbour’s house.

Severus enters the house, wand out, looking around.  He smells blood, listening, he hears no movement.  Then he walks into the living room and sees Remus against the side of the kitchen counter.

“Remus,” Severus says quietly, going to his side but keeping his wand out.

“Severus,” Remus croaks weakly, blood pouring out of him from several wounds.

“Remus, where are the boys?” Severus asks as he casts healing spells, but none of them work.  That’s when he sees the weapon on the floor in the kitchen.  A silver knife, “Shit.”

“Benni, I-I hid him.  He might’ve found him.  Severus, you have to save him,” Remus tells him, voice growing louder at the end.  And really, that just means it wasn’t a whisper.

“Where?  Who might have found him?  Are they still here?” Remus’ eyes widen as he looks behind Severus.  Severus turns around to see his seven-year-old Son, Sevrin, standing there, covered in blood, a manic smile on his face.

“Rin?”

“Salut Papa.  Attention à rejoindre le jeu.”

“Join the game, what game?  Sevrin what is going on?!”  The boy giggles, Remus pulls himself upright, despite his numerous injuries, dragging Severus behind him.

“No more.”

“Oh non Père, le plaisir ne fait que commencer!”

Suddenly, Remus finds himself bound to a dining room chair while Severus is trapped by an invisible force to the kitchen table.

“DAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!”

“Well, you see.  You’ve been touched by evil, by _filth_ , you have to be cleaned Papa.” Severus blinks at the boy in front of him.

“ _What_?” Severus asks breathlessly, Remus struggles against his bonds, gagged as well, all his cries and pleas muffled.

“Let’s start with the skin, shall we?” Suddenly, Severus feels his clothing vanish. Then he feels the skin on his left shin get ripped away, he screams.  “I’m not happy about this either Papa, but it has to be done.” He shreds off more skin.  Slowly going around the body.  Remus twists about aimlessly as he tries to get free, his eyes catch the moon.  The full moon was yesterday, it’s still mostly full.  Remus knows Werewolves are, for lack of a better term, powered by the moon.

 _I wonder,_ he thinks _, After all, aren_ _’_ _t humans always saying I_ _’_ _m a werewolf no matter the moon cycle?_ Remus focuses on the moon, he focuses on it with all his energy.  It’s rather sudden, when it happens.  Like the potential had always been there and a dam holding it back had burst.  Suddenly Remus feels the strength of the wolf fill him.  The burn left from the silver knife intensifies, but he breaks out of his bonds and hurls himself at his deranged son.

“Oof!” Sevrin grunts as Remus hits him, the two tumble to the ground, Remus pulling himself back up unstably.  Sevrin throws his hands out at him and Remus is thrown back against the wall.  He crumples to the floor, looking up at his son as tears fill his eyes.

“Rin, please, stop this,” He begs, Sevrin walks over, looking down on him like he’s nothing but a dung beetle.

“DON’T ACT LIKE THIS IS MY FAULT!” Sevrin screams, he holds a hand out and the silver knife flies into his hand, “YOU’RE THE MONSTER, NOT ME!” Remus’ eyes widen, breath caught in his throat.

“No…” Sevrin rushes at him with the knife, Remus throws a hand out to stop him, only the silent everte statum bounces off the boy and shoves Remus back into the wall again.  The blood loss, the burning silver, the concussion, Remus knows he’s not getting back up again.  Then Remus hears Severus groan and remembers how it feels to be flayed.  Bellatrix had done it to him numerous times during his capture.  For once, Remus focuses on that time, he feels the panic in his throat.  He thinks of his friends, he thinks of the people he lost, he thinks of Peter, who he _knows_ was the real traitor, and of Sirius.  He thinks of Minnie, and Eleenie, and her son, and Bellatrix, and Regulus, and Tom, and Del, and everyone and dammit but he’s not afraid, not right now.  He’s fucking pissed.  Remus pulls himself upright, grabbing his son’s arm as he swings at him with the knife and shoving him against the wall.

“I am not a monster.  Sevrin, please, stop this.  We can talk this through,” Remus tries to reason, Sevrin meets his eye.  His eyes glow red and suddenly Remus is on the ground screaming and in agonizing pain.  Pain he recognises, pain he can’t ever forget.

 _My son just cast the cruciatus curse on me_ , he thinks as the spell ends and his brain starts functioning again, _how does he even know it?_ But that’s not even the question, not really.  Because he knows what it means to cast an unforgivable with nothing but glowing eyes.  Suddenly he feels a burning pain erupt in his chest, he looks down to find Sevrin has stabbed him with the knife again, only this time it’s in his heart.  Remus vaguely recognises the crack of someone apparating, his head too busy swimming with burning agony to really recognise what that means.

The Aurors arrive, quickly taking in the scene around them.  Severus bleeding out and missing skin on the kitchen bench, Remus on the floor, lots of blood, Sevrin kneeling over him, hands around the knife.

“STUPEFY!” Moody shouts as soon as he sees the boy pull the knife from Remus’ body and turn to face them.  The look on his face had been enough information for him, “Secure the house,” Moody directs to his team, “We need to get these two to St Mungos.”

“Benni…have to save Benni,” Remus tells him when Moody comes over to him.

“Where?” He asks, not stopping to question who Benni is or anything else.

“Under the bed…third door on the right, he’s under an in-invisbility cloak,” Remus chokes out, pointing to the hallway, Moody nods, shouting the instructions to others as they apparate Severus and then Remus away.

By the time they reach the hospital, Remus is unconscious.  Severus has been for a while.

 

When Remus comes to, he sees his parents and his kids, two of his kids, sitting in his hospital room.

“Hi,” He says weakly, blinking sluggishly, “Pain potion?” He asks, Lyall nods.

“Daddy, are you okay?” Jamie asks, it’s then that he remembers what happened, everyone in the room can practically see it as the memories come rushing back.

“Oh god,” He whispers, horror on his face as tears start falling from his eyes.

“Right, both of you, out, now,” Lyall demands of the kids.  Jamie stands, it having been drilled into her since she was a toddler that when Daddy starts getting overwhelmed, get help, and then get out of the way.  But Benoit doesn’t move.

“Benni, come _on_ ,” Jamie insists as Remus starts sobbing uncontrollably.  She doesn’t want to hear this.  She doesn’t have the strength to watch her Father’s heart break.  But Benni won’t leave, “Let’s go see if we can sit with Père,” She suggests, picking him up and taking him out of the room.

“Remus,” Hope says, taking her son’s hand.

“He-he…” Remus doesn’t finish his sentence.  His cries and sobs turn to tormented screams.  His son had done this, his seven-year-old son!  How could he?  How could anyone but how could _he_.  His baby boy, how could he be capable of this, no he’s his baby boy, he’s just a kid, he couldn’t have he _COULDN_ _’_ _T HAVE!_

Remus isn’t even aware that most of that came out verbally.

The healers put him back to sleep.

 

When he wakes up again, he doesn’t believe what he sees.

“I’m hallucinating, aren’t I?” Del looks down at him, tears in her eyes.

“No, no hallucination,” She tells him, taking his hand for the first time in years, “There’s a set of circumstances that you can apply for a chaperoned leave from Prison for.  Technically, this isn’t one of them,” She admits, he chuckles slightly though it quickly turns to a sob, “Albus worked it all out for me.  It’s good you woke up, I’ve only got an hour left.”  She runs a hand down his heavily bandaged chest, “What did he do to you?” She asks him, he closes his eyes, pain in every inch of his body, yet none of it from his wounds.

“So much.”

“What happened?” Remus shakes his head, she nods, “Fair enough.  But you’ll need to tell someone, you know.”

“I know.”

 

He doesn’t know how long it is after Del left that Moody comes in, it seemed like eternity and a second.

“What happened?” He asks, Remus knows him well enough to hear the concern in his voice.

“I don’t know.  He-He snapped.  Benoit was drawing in the living room, I was in the kitchen, then I heard a scream from my room.  I ran down and found Sevrin kneeling in front of our wardrobe with a knife.  I-I don’t know where it came from or what he was even doing in there to begin with,” Remus says, getting worked up, “Suddenly he was running at me with it.  I tried to get the knife from him, that’s when I found out it was silver.” Remus pauses, taking a breath and ignoring the tears streaming down his face, “He was screaming.  Screaming that I deserve this, that I’m a monster.” Remus shuts his eyes, like he’s unable to bear even seeing a room at the moment, but the dark makes the memories more potent and he quickly opens them again.

“Did he know about your condition prior to yesterday?”

“Not that I know of.” Moody tries to be delicate.

“Is it possible this was a reaction to finding out?” There is no way to be delicate about that.

“I-I don’t know but…Mad-eye he was powerful.  I couldn’t stop him, and believe me, after he went for Benni I really tried.” Moody frowns, “Spells disippated, I couldn’t even make a grab for the damned knife.”

“Where’d the invisibility cloak come from?”

“I made it.” Moody looks shocked.  Actually shocked.  Remus has never seen so much expression on his face.  Remus also doesn’t care right now, “I’ve made one before but it, regrettably, caught on fire.  I made a new one a few years back.”

“Do you have any idea how he might have found out about your Lycanthropy?” Remus shakes his head…then stops…then his eyes widen.

“Oh fuck.  The book.”

“Book?” Remus sobs.

“Lily, and James, and the others…we were…” He begins sobbing uncontrollably again.  Moody goes and grabs Andromeda from the waiting room, knowing from experience he won’t get sense out of the man right now.  Tonks had told her parents what happened after Moody had filled her in.  She’s too junior still to have responded to the call, but he told her everything anyway, didn’t believe in sugar-coating the job to those who want in.  Andromeda had floo’d to the hospital immediately.

“What book?” Moody asks when Remus calms again, now staring off into space with a desolate air.

“Where’s my husband?  What happened to him?” He asks with very little emotion.  Alastor sighs.

“He’s fine.  Been asking for you actually.  Jamie, Benoit, and the Zabini kid have been staying with Malfoy.  What book?” Remus slumps even more into the bed, though Andromeda certainly hadn’t thought it possible.

“When we were kids we wanted to help people.  After an argument with Binns in History about the rights of Werewolves we started writing a book.  A book about the biology and psychology of a Werewolf.  Severus and I finished it about eight years ago, it’s stored with all our old notes.  All of it would have made it more than obvious what I am.  It was all kept in the bottom of the damned wardrobe,” Remus finally explains.

“Is there anything else I should know?” Remus stares at the wall, knowing he should mention his son appearing to have the same connection to the Cruciatus curse as he does to the Imperius.  He doesn’t.  Remus isn’t sure why he’s even protecting him, but he is.  That thought alone has tears streaming down his face as he lays back down properly and says nothing.

Moody leaves soon after.

 

Severus is released the next day, though his condition as a Zombie is now known and recorded.  Remus would have loved to hear him try to explain why they hadn’t gone to the hospital, well, he should have loved to.  Severus comes to see him, there are still healing marks and scars, all of which should clear up in the next few days.  The wonders of magic.

But Werewolves and Silver are a different story.

It’s another week before Remus is allowed to leave.  Moody had told Severus everything which means Remus doesn’t have to.  He’ll always be grateful for that.

 

Two weeks later there’s a trial.  They win.  Sevrin confesses to all of it quite willingly.  Ecstatically in fact.  His Père is a monster, his Papa a traitor to the human race.  His Father has disgustingly mutated blood running through his veins, he was only trying to drain it.  His Papa’s skin had touched the _creature_ _’_ _s_.  It had to go.  And Benni…he’d spent too long with them.  There was no hope for him.  Really, Sevrin was doing him a favour in trying to get rid of him.

Even those biased against Werewolves wanted to vomit.  Two of the wizengamot did.  Minister Fudge did not feel a scrap of guilt in sentencing a seven-year-old boy to Azkaban.  Not this boy.

 

Benoit doesn’t speak.  He screams every night.  Always sleeping between his parents now.  Jamie often joining them and curling into her Dad’s other side.  They’d had to engorgio the bed.  Blaise sleeps beside Severus now when he stays over.  Blaise and Jamie don’t tell their parents that after the Aurors arrived, the two went over to the house.  Don’t tell that they’re the ones who managed to get Benoit to stop fighting the Aurors.  Don’t mention that they saw Sevrin.  Don’t mention that the blood covered house, the shreds of skin around the place, and the ravings of their mad brother (Because yes, Blaise is family too.) haunt them day and night as much as it all does the others.

Remus and Severus had sat the two of them down one night, three days after the trial and asked if they wanted to know what happened.  The two of them and Blaise had not been allowed at the trial exempting the times they had to testify, though Benni did not do so.  They said no.  Perhaps that made them both cowards, but there were some things they just don’t want to know.

 

A month later, Jamie sleeps in her own bed.  She wakes up in the middle of the night, no longer used to being alone, and hears someone walking around.  She grabs her wand from her nightstand and enters the living room to find Benoit putting picture frames in a box.  He looks like a deer caught in headlights when she walks in.  Jamie stares at him for a moment, then she walks over and starts taking down the ones too high for him to reach and put them in the box as well.

When their parents wake up the next day, they find most of the photos in the house gone.  All the ones with Sevrin in them.  In their stead are drawings.  Jamie’s almost photographic drawings of their remaining family members.  There’s a frame missing in the centre of the mantle.  Jamie claims that one is a work in progress.  But even Prongs in stag form makes it onto the walls, though none but Jamie and Remus know that’s who it is.

Remus and Severus get the hint.  They want to move on with their lives.

It’s the adults who don’t know how.

 

A week later Remus has all the kids at Lucius’ place along with their parents.

“This was all highly debated once more after…certain events took place,” Remus begins, shaking slightly, “But we’ve decided to go ahead with it.”

“We considered keeping this a secret, but for the sake of keeping the welcoming feast calm we thought it best to announce this now,” Severus tells them all before gesturing for Remus to take over again.

“I have officially been hired as Hogwarts’ new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor.” There’s a beat of silence before he’s being tackled by excited children, their parents all glad about this as well.

Now if only they can keep Harry out of trouble for the year…

 

The next day all the kids are at Remus and Severus’ place, partly because they wanted to, and partly because their parents had decided the two of them had caused their hyperactivity and thus should have to deal with it.  Benoit is as subdued as he usually is, but Remus can see the immense relief in his face at life continuing around him, even if he isn’t quite ready to partake in it yet.  It had been him that really convinced Remus to go to Hogwarts.  He hadn’t wanted to leave Benoit, who hated being separated from his parents even before what happened with his twin.  Benoit had said nothing, but he walked out of the room, into Remus and Severus’ room, gotten Remus’ suitcase, dragged it back to the living room, and then proceeded to begin polishing the name tag.  Remus had nodded, ‘Okay then’. 

Remus can’t help but wonder if maybe Benni needs Remus to leave.  If he’s angry or hurting because Remus is the reason he lost his brother.  He certainly wouldn’t blame the lad for thinking exactly what Remus does.  Severus slapped him when Remus voiced such things, Remus has stared at him in shock.

_“_ _If you ever again insinuate that you were in any way at fault for him_ _…_ _you weren_ _’_ _t, Remus.  The look in his eye?  I_ _’_ _ve seen that kind of crazy before, it_ _’_ _s the same look in Voldemort_ _’_ _s eyes when his plans are being carried out how he wishes.  It was the same look he had when Bella told him she_ _’_ _d tortured me after stopping me from getting you out.  No one is at fault for that kind of madness.  It just is._ _”_

That was the night something occurred to Remus.

 _“_ _Severus, why was there a silver knife in our room?_ _”_ Severus had looked around awkwardly for a moment.

 _“_ _You never know what might happen._ _”_   Remus had almost wanted to look further into that, but given what had just happened, he felt that, despite there probably being a deeper meaning, Severus really did mean for it to be taken at face value.

So the day after their announcement of Remus’ new position within the school, Lucius shows up, closely followed by Minerva McGonagall.  Both surprised to see the other for half a second before realising they’re here for the same reason.

“Kids, go back to the Manor,” Lucius directs, for all the world sounding like ‘Lord Malfoy’ pure-blood aristocrat and not one to be argued with.  The kids seem confused and worried but all go through, Draco and Theo hauling Vince and Greg away from their breakfasts.  Jamie looks her Uncle over, Lucius’ face softens as he nods once.  She understands, takes Benni’s hand, and goes through the floo as well.

“What’s going on?” Severus asks, both he and his husband watching their guests warily as they join them at the table.

“Have either of you seen the Prophet yet?” Minerva asks, Remus and Severus both shake their heads.  Lucius grabs the copy he sees on the corner of the table and passes it to them.

“I realise this is very inappropriate but, of all the people to work out how to do this, I am completely unsurprised it was him,” Severus tells them all, Lucius sighs at him though none disagree, “Re?” Remus has frozen, staring at the Newspaper, hands shaking as he holds it, Severus puts his hands over them, pulling his Husband against him.

“We’re concerned he may go after Harry.” Remus bolts upright.

“Why the hell would he do that?!”

“He handed the boy’s parents over to you-know-who with the intention of him being killed, no doubt he’ll want to finish the job!” Remus looks at Minerva with some mix between shock and horror before he simply gets up and storms out of the room.

“He’s been a bit…touchy, lately,” Severus tells them, “Even excluding…well…a lot got brought back up.”

“So long as he doesn’t drink himself into St Mungos again,” Lucius comments dryly, eyeing the largely empty liquor cabinet.

“Yes, that is one thing I also felt to mention, he is aware that that… _habit_ is going to have to be broken before he gets to the school, yes?” Severus nods.

“Albus brought it up when he came here after… anyway, it’s not exactly a secret he’s got an on-going problem there.  Remus has always said he’s not an alcoholic, guess this is his chance to prove it.”

“You seem awfully calm about Black’s escape,” Lucius observes, Severus sighs.

“Oh good, I was hoping it was working.” Lucius and Minerva look slightly amused for a fraction of a second.

“I know you two have spent years looking into what happened, trying to prove his innocence.  Do you still believe him innocent?” Severus nods.

“I don’t know what happened that night, but I do know Sirius Black, and he didn’t do it.  He’s also not going to hurt Harry.  That being said, if he tries, it won’t work.”

“You’re sure?” Minerva asks, Severus smiles lightly though it does not reach his eyes.

“Minnie, my husband is a Werewolf who considers twelve of those students to be his Pack’s cubs.  _If_ Black is guilty, and if he poses a threat to the school or its students, he will not be getting away this time.”

“And you?” Lucius asks, Severus seems confused, “If it is you who’s confronted with him?”

“He’s not laying a hand on any of my students.”  The two seem satisfied with this, both standing to leave.

“Don’t be surprised if someone from the Ministry shows up to speak to you both,” Minerva warns.

“Would you like me to take the kids tonight,” Lucius offers, Severus shakes his head.

“No, I appreciate the offer but, I’d really rather have them with us.” Lucius nods.

“Of course.  You know where to find me if you need me.”

Jamie and Benoit aren’t all that surprised to come back and find a very drunk parent throwing up with another exasperatedly rubbing circles into the first one’s back, a helpless and resigned look on his face mirrored by the kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> French translations were done on google translate and thus can be guaranteed to be grammatically incorrect. However, what I was aiming for is this:
> 
> “Hi Dad. Come to join the game?”  
>  “Oh no, Father, the fun is just beginning.”


	45. Who Let The Dogs Out

Chapter 45

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

A few days after they find out about Sirius’ escape, Severus and Blaise are playing chess, Benoit is scribbling away in a notebook beside them, Jamie reading a book in preparation for her next school year in her room, when there’s a knock at the door.  Remus goes to answer it despite having done his best to avoid all contact with people besides his husband, Jamie, Benni, and Blaise, though even around them he’s drawn in and quiet.  Remus opens the door, greeted by a smiling face.

“Tonks, what are you doing here?  Wow, I just realised how much you look like your Father,” Remus comments, she frowns.

“Um, thanks?”

“Sorry, um, what can I do for you Miss Tonks?” The girl seems to remember why she’s here and straightens up.

“Auror Tonks, actually.  I’m here to speak with you and your husband regarding the Azkaban escapee, Sirius Black,” She says, slipping into a more professional setting, Remus nods.

“Right, of course.  Please, come in.”  Remus leads the young woman through the house.

“Dora?” Severus asks as the two walk in.

“Good Morning Professor,” She says, then looks to Remus, “And you, _Professor_.”  Remus rolls his eyes, “I’m the Auror here to speak with you about Mr Black’s escape.”

“You’re an Auror?  Drom must _love_ that,” Severus comments dryly, the girl smirks.

“Why does an Auror want to speak with you about Sirius Black?” Blaise asks in confusion, then he notices the tremor in Remus’ hand that always means reminders of bad things, “I think I’ll go hang out with Pansy for a while,” He says, “Come on Benni.”  Benoit looks up, only now realising someone else is in the room.  He grabs his notebook and follows Blaise without bothering to catch up on the situation.

“Be back by five,” Severus tells him sternly, Blaise always seems to delight in having an adult show concern for his safety and so never fights them on it, he nods and walks through the floo, “Would you like a drink?  Cup of tea or something?” He offers, Tonks shakes her head.

“No, thank you.”

“Here, have a seat, let’s get this out of the way,” He suggests, seeing his Husband not doing too well.

“Right, thank you.  Um, have either of you heard from Sirius Black since his escape?”

“No,” Severus replies, Remus shakes his head.

“Do you have any idea _how_ he was able to escape?” Severus frowns.

“You don’t know?  I mean, no, I have no idea, I just assumed your lot would have worked it out.”

“Azkaban is supposed to be inescapable to humans,” Tonks replies, “Mr Lupin, any ideas?” Remus debates for a moment whether to mention that Sirius is an illegal Animagus.  He wouldn’t even think it important if not for her specifically adding the humans and making it occur to him, but something keeps him from saying it.  He shakes his head again, Tonks sighs as though she were really hoping they’d be able to shed some light on it, “Do you have any idea where he may have gone to hide?  Somewhere he’ll believe is safe?”

“Sirius Black is a lot of things, but he’s not an idiot.  He’s not going to be anywhere we’d know about,” Severus tells her, she sighs.

“He’s been in Azkaban for twelve years, that’s enough to damage anyone’s faculties.  Besides, he may be under the impression you won’t sell him out,” She adds, looking to Remus who hasn’t said a word since the questioning began.  Severus was beginning to have his own doubts about his husband being truthful, but he wasn’t about to let her know that.

“Auror Tonks the reason you are here is because we were his friends, that means we were the ones he betrayed. We aren’t about to be protecting him.”

“I’m not trying to make any accusations, I’m just trying to make sure no one gets hurt, that’s my job,” Tonks tells him strongly, Remus sighs, he wants Sirius to be free, he really does, but this isn’t the way.

“The Potter Estate, it’s been abandoned.  It’ll be Harry’s when he comes of age, but until then no one can touch it.  He’s always felt safe there,” Remus tells her, she looks relieved and nods once in thanks.

“If you see him or hear from him or think of anything else, shoot me a letter at the Aurors’ department,” Tonks requests, he nods, as does Severus.

“We will.”

“Thank you, well, I’ll get out of your hair.  Thank you for your help.” Remus nods again.

“Say hi to your parents for us.” She smiles and nods, and then she’s gone.

“I miss that estate,” Severus comments, Remus hums his agreement, “Think he’s really gone there?”

“I doubt it, but I can’t think of anywhere else he’d go.”

“Are you hoping they find him?” Remus sighs, slumping against the door frame.

“I really don’t know.”

“Dad…Sirius Black is my Uncle Padfoot…isn’t he?” Jamie asks nervously from the doorway, Remus closes his eyes, nodding, “I’ve seen the photo in the paper, he looks deranged.” 

Remus doesn’t respond, doesn’t know how to.

 

 

Two days later, Jamie is in a park near her house drawing when she hears a bark close behind her, she turns around and sees a big black dog.

“Hi there pup,” She says, looking around for an owner, the dog walks over, sniffing at her.  She scratches behind the dog’s ears, “Where are your humans?” It barks in her face, nosing at her, she frowns, looking at the dog, “Do I know you?  Been around the neighbourhood long?”  The dog seems to grow restless, it turns and runs back into the bushes, she goes after it, “Hey, wait!”  When she enters the bushes, she doesn’t find a dog, she finds a man.  Her eyes widen, she steps back.

“Jamie,” Sirius says, looking half mad, Jamie gulps, trying to think of how to get away.

“U-Uncle,” She stutters, he smiles.

“You remember me?”

“Vaguely.”  His smiles falls.

“I suppose he wouldn’t have told you about me…” Jamie frowns at him.

“You killed people.”  Sirius shakes his head, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

“No, no I didn’t!” He tells her angrily, snapping his head up to look at her again, she flinches, his voice turns pleading, “I didn’t Jamie, I didn’t, you have to believe me!”  Jamie bites at her lip, Sirius chuckles, the distress fading from his face in a matter of moments, “Your Dad used to do that all the time.” 

“Don’t you dare talk about my Dad!  You’re a murderer, a traitor, you think I don’t know what you did?!  I was there when Dumbledore told my Dad what happened, I was _there_ when what you did broke my Daddle, _I was there_ to watch my parents try desperately to pick up the pieces _you_ smashed them into.  So don’t you _dare_ talk about my Dad like he’s your friend.” Sirius drops to his knees, head hung.

“I didn’t do it, I didn’t, I would never have…”  Jamie frowns, unsure why he’s even denying it.

“Well if you didn’t do it then who did?”

“Peter did it, that _rat_ ,” Sirius spits out bitterly.

“Uncle Wormy?  He’s dead, Black.”

“No, no, he isn’t.  He’s with him, he’s so close, I have to stop him have to kill him.”

“You aren’t doing much to convince me you’re innocent here,” Jamie comments dryly, Sirius giggles manically.

“Got your Dad’s sense of humour too.”

“My Dad doesn’t really have a sense of humour.  He’s not one for much laughter.” Sirius’ face looks utterly devastated and Jamie finds it hard to keep up with his changing moods.

“Jamie please.  I didn’t do it.  Help me prove it, imagine how much that would help your Dad.”  Jamie bites her lip.

“I’m not saying I believe you,” She begins, “But if I were to help you, what is it you need me to do?”

“I need to know where my Son is.” Jamie frowns.

“I don’t remember you having a Son.”

“Harrison,” Sirius tells her desperately.

“Harry’s Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily’s son.”

“No, no, he’s not, he’s not.  We told people he was to protect him, he was after him, we had to hide him, had to keep him safe.”

“Okay, okay,” Jamie says slowly, thinking it all through and trying to remember anything that would support his story.

_“_ _So, Del and Sirius asked me to be the baby_ _’_ _s god-father, alongside you of course,_ _”_ _Severus tells him, Remus nods._

_“_ _That_ _’_ _ll be two god-children we have in common then._ _”_

_“_ _They also asked me to be Harry_ _’_ _s god-father now that Sirius is really more of an actual parent, both said that should things be as they were, Tom would have wanted it that way,_ _”_ _He adds, Remus smiles._

_“_ _He did have a profound respect for you._ _”_ _Severus sighs._

_“_ _I miss him, I miss all of them._ _”_

_“_ _Me too._ _”_

“You’re his step-father,” Jamie realises, Sirius shakes his head.

“I adopted him, he’s _mine_ , I have to protect him,” He tells her, “ _Please_ let me protect him.”  She nods.

“I don’t know where he is, but I think I can find out.  Just meet me here at Midnight,” Jamie tells him, he frowns.

“You shouldn’t be out at Midnight.”

“It’s the only chance I have to get out, do you want my help or not?”

“Fine, but if we get caught, I’m blaming that particular detail on you.”  Jamie rolls her eyes.

“Yes, because _that_ is totally going to be our biggest problem if we get caught.”

“Jamie,” Sirius says seriously, pun not intended but ridiculously hard to avoid, “Thank you, for believing me.”

“No parent would turn their own child over to a madman,” Jamie replies, Sirius doesn’t think it would help him to point out that some would, he’s also glad that she’s grown up in such a way that she believes that.  Then he hears a door shut and transforms into Padfoot in a panic, “Shh, shh, don’t worry, it’s just a car, everything’s fine.” The dog whimpers, she kneels down in front of it, “Everything is going to be okay Uncle Padfoot, I promise.  I will do everything I can to bring you home.  First, let’s make sure your Son is safe.”   The dog transforms back into a person.

“Sorry.”  Jamie leans forward and hugs the man closely, he hugs her back, breaking down into her shoulder, she lets him, stroking his back comfortingly.

 

When Jamie gets home, the first thing she does is shower really well.  Everything is over if her Werewolf Father smells him on her.  No way he’s forgotten his scent.

She goes into her Daddle’s study, looking through the desk, trying to find any information on her cousin, a child she has vague memories of.  Well, in her memories there are two children, she doesn’t know which is Harry and which is Nev, only even knowing that name from a faint memory of calling him that herself.

She finds nothing.

 

“Dad,” Jamie begins cautiously at dinner that night, Blaise and Severus exchange nervous looks at her tone of voice as Remus raises an eyebrow at her, “What happened to Harry?”

“What do you mean?”

“After Aunt Lily and Uncle Prongs died, what happened to him?” Remus blinks at her in surprise, “It’s just, Daddle is his God-Father, so why isn’t he here with us?”

“How did you know that?” Severus asks her, Blaise looking between the three in confusion.

“Well I was in the room when you told him, you know, I heard the conversation.” Severus and Remus look to each other in surprise, “He’s my cousin, I just wanted to know where he ended up.”

“With his Aunt and Uncle,” Remus says eventually, “Lily’s sister and brother-in-law.”  Jamie frowns.

“I don’t remember them.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

“Where do they live?” She asks in a calmly curious tone, under normal circumstances it wouldn’t have been questioned, but her Dad doesn’t want to talk about this and when he doesn’t want to talk about something, he does his best to shut down the conversation.  Usually by questioning things that wouldn’t normally be questioned.

“Why are you asking?” Jamie frowns at him.

“I’m just curious,” She replies defensively, Remus sighs.

“Sorry. They uh, live in England, Surrey, I think.”

“That’s kind of near Grandma and Grandpa, isn’t it?” Remus nods.

“A bit, yes.”

“Cool.  Looking forward to school Blaise?”

 

Later that night, Jamie climbs out of the window she’d purposefully left open earlier so that she wouldn’t have to open it now.  She silently lowers herself to the ground before breaking off into a sprint back to the park.

When she gets to the bushes though, there’s no man nor dog around.

“Dammit Pads, where are you?” She groans in frustration.

“You sound like your Dad.” She spins around with a yelp.

“God damn don’t _do_ that!”

“Sorry.”

“He’s in Surrey, living with Aunt Lily’s sister and brother-in-law.”

“What?  But Vernon’s dreadful!  I have to get over there.”

“Uncle Padfoot, wait!” Sirius turns around to face her, still looking half-mad, “I seriously doubt Harry knows you’re his Dad.  More than likely he believes Aunt Lily and Uncle Prongs are his parents.  More importantly, he’s not going to have heard of you as anything but a deranged killer.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, whoever it is you mentioned killing earlier, don’t do it.  Show Harry he’s wrong, don’t prove him right.  If this Vernon really is dreadful, he needs you.”  Sirius hesitates before nodding, she’s not completely convinced he even understood her, “And take this,” She adds, handing over an old jacket of her Father’s.  He takes it, putting it on.  It’s old, it’s too big for him, and it’s almost threadbare.  But given what else he’s wearing, she doesn’t think he’ll care about any of that.

“Thank you, Jamie, it’s good to see you again.”  Jamie nods.

“Don’t make me regret this Black.” Sirius nods, then transforms into a dog and he’s off.

Jamie watches him go before taking a deep breath, hoping she hasn’t just condemned her cousin to death.

 

“Uncle Lu, hi, is Draco around?” Jamie asks as she steps out of the floo, Lucius looks surprised before nodding.

“In the music room I believe.

“Brilliant, thank you.”  With that she leaves the room, Lucius is bewildered by the abrupt interaction before deciding Lupins are just weird sometimes.

 

“Hey, Dragon, gotta talk to you,” Jamie says as she walks into the music room, Draco looks up from the piano, turning to face her.

“What is it?” He asks, frowning.

“So, you remember that time Uncle Lucius tried to murder a third of the population of Hogwarts and you told me and I helped you without telling anyone?”

“Vaguely rings a bell, yes.”

“I told Sirius Black where to find Harry Potter.” Draco blinks at her, nonplussed.  He walks over, grabbing her arm and dragging her to his room, shutting the door, pulling her into the closet, and shutting that door too.

“What the bloody hell?!”

“He’s my Uncle!”

“He’s a murderer!”

“He’s innocent!”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Well…yes…but he was telling the truth.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“Family secret, but I remember the truth and it verifies everything he said and no one out of a very select group of people, only four of which are left, could possibly know.  He’s innocent Dragon, I swear it.”  Draco looks at her before groaning in frustration.

“All right, fine, he’s innocent.  Or, he’s not, and Potter dies.”

“He _is_ innocent.”

“Why are you telling me any of this anyway?”

“Because he’s also a little bit deranged, probably from the twelve years in Azkaban.  I think he’s going to go to Hogwarts to protect Harry from the real murderer, Peter Pettigrew.  If he does, he’s going to hide somewhere he feels safe.” Draco frowns.

“You want me to _help_ him?”

“Dumbledore will keep an eye on me because of his escape, but he’s got no reason to think you’d get involved. I want you to make sure no one goes anywhere near where he’s hidden.”

“Well where will that be?” Jamie frowns.

“I don’t know.”  The two think back on all the stories they’ve heard.

“The Whomping Willow, didn’t Uncle Remus say it hides the place young Lycanthropes go?  Surely Black will know about this?”  Jamie nods, “Well there you go, the tree will keep everyone away.”

“Look there’s something else, something you _cannot_ tell anyone.”

“What?”

“Uncle Padfoot is an Animagus.” Draco sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Of course he is, that’s probably how he got out of Azkaban, right?” Jamie shrugs.

“I don’t know.”

“What animal?”

“Really big black dog.” Draco raises an eyebrow.

“Your supposedly innocent Uncle is the grim?”

“An unfortunate coincidence, nothing more.”  Draco sighs again.

“If someone dies because I helped hide him, I will murder you myself.” Jamie nods, “Okay then, I guess I’m helping a fugitive.”

 

 

_Remus,_

_I_ _’_ _m concerned about the presence of Dementors around Hogwarts, as I recall you have quite the powerful Patronus._

_Would you mind taking the train with the students, just in case something goes wrong?_

_Yours Thankfully,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Remus sighs, reading the letter as the order it actually is.  First Minerva ‘requests’ he get a wand so as not to encourage students to do exactly what he did, now this.  Remus is almost regretting taking the position, almost.  He supposes the trip over will allow him some rest, it’ll only be a day after the full moon after all.

 

“I’ll see you at the feast then?” Severus asks his Husband who nods, he smiles at him, leaning in to kiss him good bye.

“Must you do this?” Blaise asks, disgusted looks on his and Pansy’s faces, Remus chuckles, kissing Severus once more before sending him through the floo.

“Right then, a week to go.  What do you want to do?”

“Plot ways to make Dumbledore’s life difficult?” Pansy offers, Blaise nods.

“I like that plan,” He says, pointing at her and nodding approvingly.

“Agreed,” Jamie adds. Remus nods too for a moment before shaking his head.

“What, no!  You can’t, I’m a teacher now, don’t get me in trouble!” The three kids laugh at their caretaker/Father, Remus leaves the room, shaking his head in exasperation.  Difficult though they may be, he’s still glad Pansy is staying over until school starts up.  Blaise seems worried about his Mother, something that has never happened before, and Remus isn’t quite sure what to do about it.  Jamie’s tried talking to him, but he won’t say much.  Everyone’s been so careful with the family since the trial, and sure, Remus can understand why, but if it means he can be there for Blaise then he’ll make himself okay for a conversation about whatever it is really bothering him.  Remus sighs, he supposes he’ll just have to keep an eye on his charge throughout the year.  He smiles to himself, glad he can actually do so, even if he’s going to miss Benni something terrible.  Still, his parents are looking forward to having him with them, and Benoit has always loved his grand-parents.

 

_Come to join the game Papa?... Remus spins, trying to spot the voice.  It_ _’_ _s everywhere, everything is everywhere, he can_ _’_ _t get away._

_…_ _I was only trying to drain it_ _…_ _No, no not again, not again, he can_ _’_ _t do this again, DON_ _’_ _T MAKE IT HAPPEN AGAIN NOT AGAIN!_

_…_ _YOU_ _’_ _RE THE MONSTER!... no noooo no please no, not a monster, not a monster, I AM NOT A MONSTER not a monster no no nooo._

_…_ _start with the skin_ _…_ _NO! GET AWAY FROM HIM, NOO!_

“NOOO!” Remus bolts up in his bed, tears on his face, trembling harshly.  He looks to the side, but his husband isn’t laying there reading as he usually does over night.  It takes Remus a moment to remember why.  He focuses on trying to get his breathing under control.

 _Dammit this is a terrible idea,_ He thinks, _I can_ _’_ _t even deal with the night how am I meant to deal with a class.  I_ _’_ _m so easily triggered, I can_ _’_ _t drink, I lose my shit, what do I do if I have a panic attack, I can_ _’_ _t do this I can_ _’_ _t!_

Remus doesn’t hear the door open, the blood rushing in his ears as he grips his hair, yanking on it and curling in on himself as he sits on the bed.

“Come on Remus, breathe with me, that’s it, just breathe…” Remus isn’t sure who’s speaking, but he tries to follow the voice’s instructions.  Eventually he’s calmed enough to look up and see Lucius sitting before him.

“Lucius I can’t do it, I can’t go.”  Lucius rubs his back soothingly as he holds him close.

“It’s going to be okay Rem.  You won’t be alone.”  Remus buries his face in his best friend’s neck, trying to calm down some more.

“He was my son,” Remus whispers a while later.  The arms around him tighten.

“I know.”

 

A week later, Remus and the three Hogwarts bound children go to the train station and immediately head onto the train.

“Are you going to sit with us?” Pansy asks Remus, Blaise looks mildly alarmed at the idea while she seems hopeful, he smiles but shakes his head.

“No, I think you’ll all see me enough this year, you two go and have fun with your friends.”  Jamie kisses her father on the cheek and then heads off to find the twins and Lee.

“Don’t let Draco hear you call us that,” Blaise warns jokingly, though he seems relieved by the words.

“Right, off with you, I’ll see you both at the feast.”

As they run off, he heads in the other direction, hoping to find a free compartment.  Pretty much as soon as he’s comfortably settled, he’s asleep.

 

Something is very very wrong.  Remus opens his eyes and finds a small group of panicking students, “Quiet!” he says, they all fall silent.  Remus, momentarily forgetting about his wand, lights a ball of flame in his hand to light the room.  Perhaps everyone _had_ been right about he and fire, “Stay where you are.”  He gets to his feet and heads towards the door, but it slides open before he gets there.

Before him, a dementor stands, or floats as it were, and breathes in.  An intense cold sweeps over the room, or perhaps just the occupants.  Remus feels the cold chill his very soul, then Harry slides to the ground and it jolts Remus into action.

He steps over his Nephew, walking out to the dementor, finally pulling out his wand and pointing it at the creature.

“None of us are hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go.”  Only it doesn’t leave, Remus shoots Harry a nervous look out of the corner of his eye before focusing himself on the memory he has always used to power his Patronus.

_“_ _They are a menace and they will be punished for this.  Their peers is one thing but Mr Potter and Mr Black need to learn that pranking a teacher is too far._ _”_ _Remus allows his hearing to fade into the background as he laughs harder._

_“_ _What?_ _”_ _James asks as he wipes tears from his eyes, Remus debates how to explain before realising the answer is simple._

_“_ _I was reading Professor McGonagall_ _’_ _s lips as she spoke to Slughorn,_ _”_ _He tells them, somehow they don_ _’_ _t seem surprised he can do so._

_“_ _What did Minnie have to say?_ _”_ _Sirius asks, Remus straight up grins more cheekily than they_ _’_ _ve ever seen and gives his best McGonagall impersonation._

_“_ _They_ _’_ _re a menace, Mr Potter and Mr Black need to learn that pranking a teacher is too far, they_ _’_ _ll be punished for this._ _”_

_“_ _What?!  Us?!  It was your idea!_ _”_ _Sirius says, outraged, Peter laughs harder._ _“_ _Why would she blame us?_ _”_

_“_ _Maybe she_ _’_ _s met you,_ _”_ _Marlene says from beside him,_ _“_ _I can_ _’_ _t believe you_ _’_ _d try to blame Remus for this, he_ _’_ _d never do it, let alone have it be his idea,_ _”_ _She tells him sternly, Sirius splutters._

_“_ _Yeah, quit blaming me,_ _”_ _Remus tells him, Sirius glares at him._

_“_ _Traitor,_ _”_ _He tells him, James laughs, clapping Remus on the shoulder._

“Perhaps Albus was right after all,” He mutters to himself as the creature finally floats away. He turns back to the worried students, now recognising Ginny and who he thinks must be Ron, “He’s all right, he’ll wake up shortly,” Remus assures them.  The girl with bushy hair sinks down beside Harry, shortly followed by probably-Ron.

“Harry! Harry! Are you all right?” The girl asks as she slaps his Nephew’s face lightly.

“W-what?” The boy blinks his eyes open slowly.  Remus immediately stops thinking Severus is wrong about Harry’s eyes being charmed, there’s no mistaking those are of Lily Evans’ genetics.

Probably-Ron and bushy-haired girl help Harry back onto his seat, Ginny sits huddled in a corner while a boy who seems frightfully familiar watches on in panic.

“Are you okay?” Probably-Ron asks Harry who nods slightly.

“Yeah,” He says, looking at the door anxiously, he seems both relieved and confused that the Dementor is no longer there, “What happened?  Where’s that-that thing? Who screamed?” Probably-Ron gives his friend a worried look.

“No one screamed,” He tells him, looking to grow more nervous.  Harry looks around, hovering over Ginny and Neville who return the gaze, still pale and shaky.  Remus realises they need a bit of help to get over this and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a block of chocolate, “But I heard screaming…” They all startle at the noise of the chocolate snapping, it’s all Remus can do not to laugh at them.  He feels like he’s not shaping up to be a great teacher but, anything’s better than Severus?  He feels like he’s not shaping up to be a great husband either…wow, maybe he needs some chocolate after that dementor as well.

“Here, eat it.  It’ll help,” He says, handing a large piece to Harry who takes it but makes no move to eat it.

“What was that thing?” Harry asks, Remus answers as he hands some chocolate to everyone.

“A Dementor, one of the Dementors of Azkaban.”  All the students stare at him, looking very frightened, as he crumples the empty wrapper and puts it in his pocket, “Eat, it’ll help,” He repeats, “I need to speak to the driver, excuse me.”  He walks past Harry with as much calm as he can muster before walking to the front of the train.  On the way he passes through the ‘Slytherin Carriage’ and finds some nervous looking students.

“Remus!” Theo calls, relieved when he sees him, those who know him crowed around him while other merely recognise his name from tutoring letters or overheard discussions simply pay attention.

“Calm down, everything’s all right.  Dementors came aboard to look for him, they’ve gone now.  I’m just on my way to speak to the driver, but everything is all right.  We’ll be at Hogwarts shortly,” He tells them all, they calm instantly.  Remus smiles reassuringly at his lot before continuing on his journey.

He spends a few minutes questioning the driver on what the hell just happened, apparently the man hadn’t stopped the train, it had just stopped moving.  He’d started it again as soon as he was capable, Remus sighs but nods and excuses himself.  Remus goes to return to the cabin he had been in and check on the children again, but Draco stops him as he walks through.

“Why do you sit with them but didn’t sit with us?” He asks him quietly, Remus briefly wonders how he even knows who Remus sat with but doesn’t bother to question that right now.  The fact that he’s asked so quietly shows Remus that he doesn’t want to make a scene but is actually hurt, Remus smiles at him kindly.

“I wanted you all to be able to have fun without your God-Father and whatever it is the others consider me to be hovering over you.  I fell asleep in an empty compartment and woke up in one with multiple students and a Dementor.  That’s all there is to it Little Dragon, I promise.”  He seems shifty still but nods and steps out of the way, Remus claps him on the shoulder lightly before continuing towards his compartment.

As he enters, he looks amused, noticing they haven’t eaten the chocolate, “I haven’t poisoned that chocolate, you know…”  They all seem to look rather embarrassed as they eat the sweet, colour returning to their faces instantly, “We’ll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes,” Remus tells them, “Are you all right, Harry?”

“Fine,” The boy replies, clearly embarrassed, Remus decides to leave it alone as he retakes his seat. 

“Dad!”  Remus turns to the door, standing as Jamie walks in with the twins and throws herself at him.

“Are you all right?” Remus asks her, sitting her down beside him.  The twins squeeze in as well.

“She passed out-”

“-but she seems okay now,” The twins tell him, he looks at her in concern.

“I ate some chocolate and gave some to Knucklehead and Chucklhead over here, don’t worry,” Jamie promises Remus, her Father sighs, nodding.  Remus looks up to see Ginny looking at him in confusion before a light fills her eyes and she smiles.

“I know you, you’re the friend of my parents I met at the train station when Ron started Hogwarts.” Remus smiles and nods.

“It’s nice to see you again Miss Weasley,” He tells her, ignoring the confused looks on everyone else’s faces.

“You know, your husband is _still_ giving Percy nightmares,” She tells him, he sighs.

“I meant to talk to him, but then he started talking about three-headed dogs and the like and I found myself worrying about other things,” He replies, she chuckles, though still seems shaken.  Harry, Probably-Ron, and Bushy-Haired Girl exchange surprised looks at his words, no doubt remembering their first year and wondering who on Earth had told him.

“I think Percy’s just a wimp, I rather like his class.  So do Fred and George, but honestly I think they just like how much it annoys him they’re friends with his daughter,” She says, sending an amused look to the three in question, all three smirk,  “Oh, you must be her father too?” Remus nods, Jamie leaning into her Father’s side.  She still doesn’t like being separated from him but has gotten used to it thanks to being at school.  Still, when stuff happens, she can be quite clingy again, and it’s obvious to him that the Dementors had quite the affect on her as well, “Hang on, did you say three-headed dog?”

“Yes, apparently there was a Cerberus in the school, I never did find out exactly why, only that it bit my husband’s leg.” Ginny winces.

“Ouch.”

“Your husband is Severus _Snape_?” Harry asks, voice filled with disbelief.  Remus looks around at the students in the compartment and isn’t all that surprised to see rather horrified looks on most of their faces, he just nods calmly.

“Why?” Probably-Ron asks, bushy-haired girl stamps on his foot, “Ow!”

“That’s Ron, by the way.  I’m assuming you’ve met before?  Mum said she was still pregnant with me, so he’d have been born, right?” Ginny asks, Remus nods.

“Yes, I think I may have met him when he was a baby.  In any case, it’s nice to meet you Ron, I’m Remus Lupin,” Remus introduces, holding a hand out to the boy who warily shakes it.

“How can you have married Snape but been friends with my parents?”  He asks after retracting his hand.

“Honestly Ron, you’re being rude!” Bushy-haired girl admonishes, then turns to him, holding out a hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Professor Lupin, I’m Hermione Granger.”  Remus understands what Severus meant when he said the girl before him reminds him of Narcissa, he ignores the pang that thought creates as he takes the girl’s hand, pointedly ignoring her first name,

“A pleasure to meet you as well Miss Granger, I’ve heard a lot about you.” She winces slightly, looking rather panicked and he realises how that must sound given the obvious source of information.  He decides to…help his Husband out with being nice, “Sev tells me you’re one of the brightest students in your year.”  The occupants of the carriage look at him in surprise, except Jamie who grins at the thought of her Daddle hearing about this.

“He-He does?”  Remus nods, and he’s not lying either, Severus had in fact told him that, “I sort of…was under the impression Professor Snape hated me.”  Remus chuckles.

“Yes, I find myself under that impression sometimes.  He’s not really the most emotive person, and has little patience, but he’s always had a profound respect for those enjoy the simple act of learning.”  Granger blushes slightly, looking quite pleased with herself, “Maybe don’t tell him I said any of that though,” He requests, she nods.

“And you’re their kid?” Ginny asks Jamie who nods.

“Jamie Lupin,” She introduces, Harry’s eyes snap to her briefly before he looks away.

“This may be a weird question, but is there any chance Hermione is the _only_ one Snape’s mentioned?” Harry asks, Jamie fiddles with a bracelet she’s wearing, cursing her cowardice for saying nothing to her cousin yet again.

“Professor Snape,” Remus corrects, Harry nods, rather dismissively, “And no, no chance at all.”

“Well, this year ought to be interesting,” Miss Granger concludes, Ginny chuckles, nodding.

“Can’t be worse than last year, erm, no offence Professor,” Neville tells him, Remus shakes his head.

“None taken.  Though really, if I have to put in any effort to be better than _Gilderoy_ I’ll be rather disappointed in myself.”  The group laughs at that, looking far better than they did a few minutes ago.

“Do you know him, Sir?”

“We went to school together, he and I…didn’t exactly get along,” Remus tells them, thinking of Sirius punching him in the face.

“Quite the understatement from the story Aunt Drom tells,” Jamie says, Remus rolls his eyes.

“Could tell you a few stories about Andromeda too,” Remus mutters, his students seem highly amused and approving, probably because he’s a teacher they are finding things they can relate to, “In any case, we weren’t exactly friends.”

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.  I can’t really imagine anyone getting on with him,” Harry tells him, Remus nods.

“Yes, as I recall he had a knack for knowing the most…disturbing and random things.”

“What do you mean Professor?” Granger asks, Remus smiles in mild amusement.

“Long ago there was an old tradition amongst Wizards.  The third Friday of every month, wizarding families would get together, strengthen the bonds of blood.  Following an incident, I decided it would be fun to start those dinners at Hogwarts.  Part of the night you’re supposed to play games or do an activity chosen by the elders of the family, but for the first of our dinners I decided them myself with a bit of input from my friends’ parents.  One such game was called factoid,” Remus tells them, Neville’s face lights up.

“My Gran’s told me about this, you have to say a weird fact and if no one’s heard it before you win, right?” Remus nods, “Gran said my Dad loved that game.”

“Quite right Neville, and yes he did, however he was never particularly good at it.  I think he just liked hearing the other facts and wondering where on Earth people heard these things.”

“You knew my father?” Remus nods.

“And your mother, Frank and Alice were very close friends of mine, and the god-parents of Jamie,” He tells the boy, looking marginally sad for a moment, Jamie subtly takes her father’s hand, “Anyway, the first dinner we did, we played factoid, and old Gilly Lockhart won.  Something about a Dutch president who had been eaten by an angry mob,” Remus says, the others look disturbed.

“ _Eaten_?” Granger asks, Remus nods, face screwed up.

“Like I said, he knew disturbing and random things.”

“Well, he certainly doesn’t anymore,” Ron comments, Granger rolls her eyes as he and Harry chuckle.

 

After that, the ice had been broken and the students freely spoke about their summers, well, everyone but Harry did.  He mostly just questioned them or spoke about Quidditch and such.  Ginny spent most of the train ride trying to pry more knowledge about Severus out of Remus, it didn’t work well, but Jamie found it hilarious.

Remus can only hope the year continues this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Remus' mental state is seesawing a bit in this chapter. If that's bothering anyone I thought I'd just explain the reason I've written it like that. Right now he's got no idea how to deal with what happened, still unable to imagine his little boy did as he did. It came from seemingly no where and then it was gone and he has no idea what to do so he's trying to ignore it, trying to force it away so that he doesn't have to work out how to deal with it, but it doesn't work like that. Sometimes, like when he's asleep, he can't push it away.  
> So yeah, that's my thinking on this.


	46. Coping;How to

Chapter 43

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

When the train ride comes to an end Remus gets in a carriage, a few second years joining him and looking afraid after the search of the train.  He reassures them that all is well now and by the time they reach the castle, they seem far happier.

“Did you faint as well, Weasley?” Remus hears his God-Son’s voice and sighs, walking over to defuse the situation, “Did the scary old Dementor frighten you, too, Weasley?”

“Is there a problem?” He asks, Draco looks at him with a brazen expression that makes Remus want to throttle the child.  Under other circumstances he’d take him to task, but unless Draco chooses to expose their personal connection, he won’t.  Doesn’t mean he can’t be a teacher though.

“Oh no, er, _Professor_ ,” He replies, a tiny hint of sarcasm.  This one was not intended to be rude, though without knowing their relationship it may appear so.  Remus holds back the amusement at his God-Son teasing him about his new position.  They certainly weren’t going to make this easy for him.  Draco smirks at Vince and Greg before leading the other two into the castle.  Ron, Granger, and Harry all head into the castle, Remus heading to the Great Hall himself.

 

“Hey, Harry!” Harry looks over to see Jamie Lupin walking towards him, the twins and Lee Jordan coming over too and leading Ron and Hermione away.

“Jamie, right?” The Slytherin nods.

“I’m sorry about Draco but, for the record, I passed out too.” Harry nods, the twins had mentioned it, “I um, you look like him.” Harry frowns in confusion, “James Potter, I mean.”

“You knew him?”

“I uh, I’m named after him.”  Harry’s eyes widen, “He and Lily were my Aunt and Uncle, in every way that mattered.  I used to play with you and Neville when we were kids,” Jamie explains, Harry gasps slightly, “You’re my cousin.”

“W-Why haven’t you ever said anything?”

“Draco’s my cousin too and, well, first day you offended him and things kept getting worse.  I’m quite protective of him, you see.  Rather backwards of me to take his side when the whole reason I’m protective is from losing you and Nev.  But um, well he’s grown into a jerk and I can’t really fault you for that.  I’m sorry,” She says, his eyes tear up slightly, he clears his throat and blinks it away.

“It’s fine.”

“No, it isn’t.  Harry, our family was big, it was.  We had aunts and uncles and cousins and family friends and all sorts.  I lost so much that night, but you lost it all.  I know what it’s like to lose your parents, I did too, once.  But my Dad came back.  I only wish I could reunite you with yours too.”  Harry smiles at her, emotion filling his eyes that he doesn’t seem to know what to do with.  In the end he just nods at her.

“Thank you, cousin.”  She grins, nodding back, privately thinking that she _will_ reunite him with his Father, because Sirius will be found innocent and they will be together again.  They’ll have their family back.  She’ll find a way to bring Neville back into things and everything will be okay again. 

It has to be.

 

“Welcome!” Albus calls, Remus keeps the annoyance off his face, the two _still_ don’t get along and he really doubts they ever will, but Remus is a Professor now and he will be professional, “Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it’s best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast,” Albus clears his throat, “As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the Dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business.”  Remus isn’t surprised to see the Old Man looking as unhappy with this arrangement as he is, “They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds, and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave the school without permission.  Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises – or even Invisibility cloaks.” Remus notices Ron and Harry exchange looks before raising an eyebrow at Severus on the other end of the table.  Severus realises what he’s getting at instantly, his face morphing into one of such pure loathing that Remus had to hold back a chuckle.  It probably explained a lot to him, “It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses.  I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you.  I look to the Prefects, and our new Head boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs foul of the Dementors.” 

A rather off-put atmosphere falls over the room as the man pauses for a few moments, clearly trying to move on himself.

“On a happier note, I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year.  Firstly, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.”  There’s a scattered applause, Remus remembers feeling like that whenever a new DADA teacher is appointed, they’d be gone too soon to worry about offending them.  He feels proud when the group of Gryffindors from on the train clap hard, plus Fred and George who lock eyes with Jamie, she grins mischievously at them making Remus worry for his safety.  Most of Slytherin House claps loudly as well.  Severus scowls deeper at him stealing his House’s loyalty, Remus successfully holds back the smirk though he hears Minerva chuckle slightly.

“As to our second new appointment, well I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs.”  Remus remembers Professor Kettleburn, he’s a bit surprised the man is still alive in all honesty, and never got fired, “However, I am delighted to say that his place will be filled by none other than Rubeus Hagrid, who has agreed to take on this teaching job in addition to his game-keeping duties.”  The applause for this announcement was large and unrestrained, particularly at the Gryffindor table.  Remus isn’t surprised to see Harry looking at the man happily, he’s even less surprised to see Slytherin’s less than ecstatic expressions.  Harry and his two closest friends are the last to stop clapping, appearing to only do so because Albus begins talking again.

“Well, I think that’s everything of importance, let the feast begin!”

 

Harry is extremely excited for Hagrid’s class, and very happy for him, knowing how much it will mean to him.  Even among this, though, he can’t help wondering about Professor Lupin.  He had seemed nice enough on the train, and Madam Pomfrey had been glad about the chocolate, but Harry had seen the pleased expressions on Slytherin table.  Particularly Malfoy and his friends’.  No one who was that well liked among Slytherin could be good news.  That and, he can’t understand how the fun and kind man he’d spoken to on the train could possibly be married to Severus Snape, who looked about as happy as a kangaroo in snow when his husband’s appointment had been announced.  Then again, if Jamie is really his cousin, doesn’t that mean her Dad must have been close with his?  But Snape _hates_ Harry’s Dad, so how does it all fit together?  He chooses to put it out of his mind for now, and instead focus on congratulating his friend.

 

Remus is surprisingly happy throughout the feast, he thought it wouldn’t be easy, being one day sober and haunted by ghosts of the emotional sort.  Though really, it shouldn’t be too shocking that being in the castle feels safer to him now than being in his own home…Remus shakes the thoughts from his head and focuses back in on the feast.

“How is it?” Minerva asks from beside him, he smiles happily at her.

“It’s really weird seeing the hall from this perspective.”

“You did it when you ran the first Wizard Dine,” She points out, he nods.

“True, but that’s different, _very_ different.” She nods with a smile.

“I know.  What about you Hagrid?  Not too overwhelming I trust?” Hagrid just looks delighted.

“It’s wonda’ful Professor,” Hagrid replies, Remus smiles at the man.

“It’s nice to see you again, Rubeus,” He tells him, Hagrid nods.

“And you Remy, thanks for helpin’ me out with ther present for ‘Arry.”  Remus’ hands tense in their hold of his cutlery, but otherwise gives no reaction to the name as he nods.

“Of course.”

“Minerva, care to wager again?” Filius asks her, Minerva nods.

“End of the feast,” She replies, “And Malfoy.”

“I have a bit more faith, I’ll go with tomorrow morning, and also Malfoy.”

“What on Earth are you two betting on?” Remus asks, following their gazes to his God-Son.

“When Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy will have their first tiff and who will start it,” Minerva replies, Remus scoffs in amusement.

“Sorry to disappoint you both, but you’re wrong,” He tells them, they look at him questioningly, “It’s already happened, broke it up on my way in.”

“So much for faith,” Filius comments dryly, Remus chuckles and nods.

“How did Mr Malfoy take interacting with you as his Professor?” Minerva asks.

“To be honest with you Minnie, I’m hoping it went badly.  Because if he pulls that with every teacher, I am _not_ going to be impressed.”

“Yes, one should never disrespect those above them,” Albus adds lightly, Remus doesn’t even hesitate.

“Exactly, I’m quite glad I never did.” He and Albus look at each other with thinly veiled annoyance, Minerva clears her throat, giving them both an unimpressed look, they both go back to their food.

“You can wipe the smile off your face Severus,” Minerva tells him sternly, he does look like he honestly tries, but in the end just hides it in his goblet, “Will you control your husband?” Minerva requests severely, Remus just looks at her in amusement.

“I doubt it Minnie, you’re the expert _child_ wrangler.” Severus glares at him as Remus simply goes back to his food.  Severus mutters dire things before going back to his potion quietly, Remus smiles at Minerva who looks impressed.

“I hate these dinners.  They’re always so damned noisy,” Severus complains.

“We have been over this Severus.”

“Headmaster, I don’t even eat food, I don’t see why I need to be presen-”

“Because you are a member of this staff and you will conduct yourself as such,” Dumbledore replies.  Remus raises an eyebrow at Minerva who sighs.

“Albus was unhappy to discover Severus had kept his condition a secret from him, I do believe he’s attempting to punish him for it.” Remus rolls his eyes and huffs.

“Of course he is.”

 

Draco spends the entire feast debating a decision.  By the end of it, he still hasn’t talked himself out of it, and decides that is as close to certain as he’ll get.

“Hey, Potter!” The other boy attempts to keep walking up the stairs, but Draco jogs up to him, “Potter, for once, I don’t want to fight.”

“Then what _do_ you want?” The black-haired bane of his existence asks shortly.  Draco takes a breath to calm himself.

“An accord.” Potter and his friends exchange confused looks before Granger pipes up, crossing her arms and looking at he and his allies in suspicion,

“What _sort_ of an accord?” She asks, not expecting him to say anything but insults to her, he seems to bite back a response before returning to perfect composure.

“That’s simple Granger,” He tells her, she seems surprised, as do the others, including his fellow Slytherins, “Me and mine will leave you all alone in DADA, s’long as you do the same.”  All doubts leave the group of Slytherins as they realise what he’s doing.

“And we’re supposed to trust that, are we?” Weasley demands, “Why should we?” Draco holds his tongue against the cruel response he wanted to give.

“Look, Professor Lupin is new, I just don’t want to give him any trouble.”

“Anyone endeared to you is bad news for us,” Potter states, though he’s no longer so certain that’s true, Draco rolls his eyes.

“U-Professor Lupin isn’t like that.  Look, I’m offering you an entire lesson of peace, and all you have to do is withhold your usual volatile arrogance for forty-five minutes to an hour a few days a week.”

“ _My_ volatile arrogance?  I will not make a deal with you so that you can protect some new Professor who’s clearly in your back pocket!”

“Hey!  You don’t get to talk about him like that!” Pansy tells him angrily, taking a step forward, Potter pulls his wand out on impulse, Draco doing the same, but both gesture for no one else to.

“Right listen here scarhead-” Draco begins, then they hear a throat clearing.

“What’s going on here?” Remus asks, Draco freezes, not wanting to be a problem for him again, he feels bad about what happened earlier.

“Nothing…just…comparing wand size,” Draco tells him, saying the first thing that comes to mind.  Draco then realises what he said and regrets life, Remus’ eyebrows go up in amusement and disbelief.

“Oh?  And who won?” He asks, clearly testing them, Harry decides it’s as good a time as any to test how serious Draco is about this.

“I did, mine’s bigger, right Malfoy?” He asks, knowing full well what he’s doing, the entire group freezes, Severus trying hard not to laugh.  Harry and Ron are both far too invested in watching the other Slytherins to notice, but Hermione does.

“Yep,” Draco replies, like every syllable kills him.

“Try to keep your wands to yourselves boys,” Remus tells them, sighing, “And next time at least come up with an excuse that doesn’t force a repeat of that conversation, yes?” Then he and Severus walk off.  Theo immediately looking to Draco, eyes flicking from his wand to his face and back again, Draco grits his teeth and ignores him.

“All right Malfoy, you have a deal.  You and yours leave me and mine alone during DADA, and we’ll do the same.  But any of your house break that, and I will do everything in my power to make life difficult for your Professor.”  Harry feels bad about the threat before he’s even finished speaking, but this Professor Lupin is the only advantage he’s ever had over the other boy, aside from his Quidditch abilities of course.  Blaise moves to intervene, likely violently, but Draco holds a hand out to stop him, “Deal?” Draco takes the hand Harry offers him.

“Deal.”

The Golden trio hurry off, muttering theories about the interaction as they go.

“I should warn you though,” Draco calls out, “I don’t think Weasle’s older brothers will appreciate that threat too much.”  He walks away before they have a chance to question it.

The Slytherins round the corner towards the dungeons to find Remus pointing his own wand at Severus whose wand is in his hand by his side.

“…How much of that did you hear?” Draco asks, though it’s clear Severus heard the threat, Remus smiles at him proudly.

“Enough.”

“Well, you know, just trying to…not get in trouble with Father…and…stuff.” His Uncle nods at him.

“Of course.”

They split ways, the students to their common room and the two teachers to their shared living space.

“Well, this has been an eventful evening,” Remus comments, Severus nods.

“Indeed it has.  How are you, really?” Remus sighs.

“I’m okay, it was…strange, waking up on the train and finding James staring back at me.  If not for the eyes…but you’re definitely right.  No way that isn’t charmed.  Whatever it is, though, I’m fairly certain it’s permanent.”

“Bit pointless if it weren’t, don’t you think?” Remus snorts and nods.

“True.  Let’s just go to bed, and deal with everything in the morning.” Severus nods.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

 

“Fred, George, what do you know about the new teacher?” Ron asks as soon as they enter the common room.

“Why just them?” Hermione questions.

“Well it’s not going to be bloody Percy, is it?” 

“What’s not going to be Percy?” Fred and George ask in sync.

“Nothing, just answer the question, wouldya?”

“Why should we?”

“Sounds like it could be fun to leave you in the dark.” Ron scowls at them.

“We’re just wondering why Malfoy would make a deal with me to make sure Lupin gets a well-behaved class,” Harry explains, the twins roll their eyes.

“You lot stay out of that,” George says.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” Fred adds.

“Certainly nothing sinister.”

“You should leave Lupin alone though.”

“It’ll be far more trouble than it’s worth if you don’t.”

“Believe us.”

Sufficed to say the Trio are even more bewildered than they had been prior to asking.  Surely they wouldn’t be this intent on protecting him just because their friend is his daughter?  They certainly aren’t with Snape.  But they receive no answers.

 

At breakfast the next morning, a letter comes for Severus that has him rolling his eyes, he folds it into a paper plane and throws it to Remus who catches it and raises an eyebrow at him.  Severus nods for him to read it.

_Papa,_

_Missing you all heaps already.  May have pulled a P_ _è_ _re and set something on fire, but she_ _’_ _s fine, so it_ _’_ _s all good._

_Say hi to P_ _è_ _re for me._

_Much love,_

_Benni_

Remus write a note on the back of the letter, automatically writing it in French like the letter from Benni had been, before throwing it back to Severus.  Severus, of course, has no problem reading it after spending most of the last thirteen years in France and raising his children there.

 _Why does everyone always blame fire incidents on me?_ Severus replies the same way, _My guess is because of the history of arson related activities._ Remus rolls his eyes, _Yes, when I was a teenager!_  Severus scoffs, _What about the estate?_ Remus writes quite harshly as he responds _That was your idea!_ They argue like this a few times, their throws getting progressively more aggressive, before Minerva reaches out and grabs the paper plan en route.

“Now I specifically remember more than a few conversations about the rudeness of passing notes, I don’t have to read this out to the school as punishment, do I?” She asks, both look sheepish.

“Sorry Minnie.”

Neither miss the way Blaise and Jamie look at the both of them and laugh.

 

Remus’ first class ends up being Fifth years, with Jamie.  Before it starts, Minerva stands in his office with him, giving him a speech he’s sure she’s been planning since his name was first suggested.

“…and if I hear _one_ word of you giving the twins anything, from advice to an actual object, _you_ _’_ _ll_ be in detention, am I clear?”

“Yes Minnie,” Remus tells her with a fondly exasperated air, this seems to get her more worked up.

“I mean it, I was the one who put your name forward and I did so out of the belief that you can behave like a mature adult.”

“Honestly Minerva, I’m thirty-three-years-old and a Father of th…of two, I am capable of being a grown up.” She watches him with concern for a moment before nodding and seeming to let out a breath of relief.  He internally pumps his fist into the air at the thought that Minerva was the one to suggest him, completely ignoring the feeling in his chest at the memory of… _not now, please Merlin not now_ , “So tell me about these twins…”

“Don’t even start with me Remus!” 

The actual class goes better than that conversation did.  He sees the twins and Jamie, notices and prevents all the ‘hazing the new teacher/Father’ jokes they try out.  They can’t seem to work out what keeps going wrong, he’s very proud of himself for not getting them back.  It stings a little, that Jamie has no idea how he’s stopping these, that she doesn’t know his history, that she doesn’t know he hasn’t always been the cynical and depressed man he is today.  He wishes she did, but really, how can she?  That man was gone a long time ago, and Remus doubts he’s ever coming back.

“So, you’re Cockamamie’s Dad, right?” Remus looks at the two Weasleys in confusion.

“Cockamamie?”

“Cockamamie Jamie,” Jamie explains, “Because they suck.”

“And she refused to drop it with the Wonder Twins.”

“There are worse names I could have given you, I ever tell you I had an Uncle whose friends nicknamed him Wormtail?” Remus snickers slightly.

“No, that was just me,” Remus admits, Jamie rolls her eyes at him though she looks amused and a little surprised.  The Twins exchange gobsmacked looks.

“What?” Jamie asks.

“Nothing.”

“Out of curiosity-”

“-was it a group of four of you?” Remus frowns at them.

“Solemnly swearing you were up to no good…?” Remus’ eyes widen.

“How did you…?”

“Nothing-”

“-but thank you-”

“-you really helped us _find our way_ around.” Remus smirks.

“Well, at least some mischief has been managed.”

“…Okayyyyyyyy then, we’ve got a class so…we’re leaving.  Great lesson, je t’aime,” Jamie says before dragging her friends away. Remus smiles.

“Je t’aime.”

 

It’s not until after lunch that anything goes wrong.

 

McGonagall is waiting for him at the end of his class.

“Professor Lupin, might I have a word with you?” She asks as the class files out.

“Of course, what can I do for you?” She waits until the room is empty before continuing.

“Mr Malfoy was attacked by a Hippogriff.” Remus blinks at her for a moment.

“A Hippogriff?”

“Yes.”

“Is he all right?”

“He is.”

“Is the Hippogriff?” Minerva looks mildly amused, “Where is he?”

“Come.”

He follows her through the halls to the hospital wing, but outside here he falters.  Too many memories.  Minerva turns back to look at him, worried.  He clears his throat before continuing on, hand shaking only slightly as he opens the door and walks in to find Severus terrorising Hagrid.

“Severus, leave him alone,” Remus tells him, sounding unimpressed, Severus backs off but continues glaring at the large man, “What happened?”

“Well, we were with the Hippogriff’s, an ‘Arry rode Buckbeak.  I told ‘em not to offend the creatures, everythin’ was going fine too.”

“So what changed?” Remus asks, eyeing Draco’s bloodied shirt.

“’e offended ‘im, and Buckbeak reacted, as Hippogriffs tend to do.  So I took ‘im straigh’ here.” Remus nods, turning his attention to Draco who looks annoyed at not having been asked first.

“And your version of events?”

“The bloody thing attacked me!  All I said was that it must be easy if Potter did it, then suddenly I was attacked!” Hagrid moves to protest but Remus puts a hand up to stop him.

“Don’t worry Hagrid, I am more than aware that’s not all that was said,” He reassures the man who calms down slightly, “Draco, why would you upset a creature you were warned was dangerous?”

“I didn’t think it actually was!”

“But you were told, yes?” Draco nods mutely, Remus sighs, “Are you all right?”

“I am _now_ , I could have bled to death!  I promise you, my Father will be hearing about this!” Draco tells Hagrid threateningly, Severus just looks at Remus as though to say ‘see what I mean?  They’re impossible!’

“Draco, is that really necessary?” Draco looks livid.

“Am I supposed to look past them letting a dangerous monster into the school?!” He demands, “That thing could’ve killed me, who cares if it’s docile most of the…time.” Draco finishes awkwardly as he realises what he just said.  Hagrid, of course, has no idea what’s happening, but Severus, Minerva, and Poppy don’t look happy.

“Everything can be dangerous Draco, that’s why you must be careful and intelligent, which it sounds as though you were not.  I do not want you hurt again because you were being rash,” Remus tells him, ignoring what else he said despite the sting it left.  It wasn’t the words so much as everyone who knows about him immediately thinking of him.  They say he isn’t a monster, yet when the word is mentioned he’s the one they grow concerned for?  Even if it is because they care about him, it’s still him they think of.

“I’ll be more careful Uncle,” He promises, Remus nods, “Even if I don’t tell my father about it, he’s _going_ to find out.”

“I’ll write to him, see if I can’t calm him down a notch or two,” Severus says, the tension in the room doesn’t drop much, they all know it’s a lost cause, but at least they are trying.

 

 

On Thursday, Remus’ first lesson with the third years comes up, he’s quite excited to teach for this lot, looking forward to getting some feedback from his usual charges.  So naturally, he’s running late.

“Good afternoon, would you please put all your books back in your bags.   Today’s will be a practical lesson, you will only need your wands.”  The class seems surprised by this turn of events, though with what Severus had told him of the last two DADA teachers the school has had, he’s not surprised they aren’t expecting it to be good, “Right then, if you’d follow me.”

The class follows him, along the way they run into Peeves, Remus holds in the chuckle.  Annoying as he is, he’s sort of missed Peeves.  The Poltergeist had looked at he and his friends as, pardon the pun, kindred spirits in their need to cause mischief.  He’s not surprised to see Peeves stuffing a keyhole with chewing gum, though at least this time he can rest assured his friend hasn’t given him any to use.

“Loony, loopy Lupin, Loony, loopy Lupin, Loony, loopy Lupin,” Peeves singsongs, Remus’ smile doesn’t falter.

“I’d take that gum out of the keyhole, if I were you, Peeves.  Mr Filch won’t be able to get in to his brooms.”  Peeves just blows a raspberry at him, Remus sighs, pulling out his wand.  It’s quite amusing to see Peeves look slightly confused at the action, after all, how many people have actually seen him with one? “This is a useful little spell, please watch closely,” He says, internally grinning ear to ear at least being able to mess with Peeves.  He thought the hardest part of being back here would be not breaking down, but nope, more self-control went toward not having fun like he used to.  It’s an odd impulse he’s now largely unfamiliar with, “ _Waddiwasi!_ ” The chewing gum flies out of the keyhole and into Peeves’ nostril, the Poltergeist left, rather quickly.

“Cool, sir!” Dean Thomas tells him, a look of amazement on his face, Remus internally fistbumps himself.

“Thank you, Dean.  Shall we proceed?”

Eventually they find themselves at the staff room.

“Inside please,” Remus directs, standing back and allowing the students to enter first.

“Leave it open, Remus  I’d rather not witness this.” Severus stands from the chair he had been sat in, moving to leave the classroom, he turns back at the last moment to address him again, “Possibly no one’s warned you, Re, but this class contains Neville Longbottom.  I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult.  Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear.” Remus raises his eyebrows, clearly they had not had a good lesson earlier.

“I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation, and I am sure he will perform it admirably.” Severus all but storms out, Remus mentally prepares himself for an argument when he next sees his husband.  But really, must he be so cruel?  Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville all exchange looks at the interaction between two people they know to be married.  They’re unsure if it’s really a good thing or not that Lupin stuck up for Neville, knowing Snape will be even harder on him now, but at least it shows them he isn’t like his wretched husband.

Remus leads them over to the cupboard holding the Boggart, he’s not surprised to see Miss Granger putting her hand up to tell him what a Boggart is.

“Right, Neville.  First things first: what would you say frightens you most in the world?” Neville mumbles something that even Remus doesn’t hear, “Didn’t catch that, Neville, sorry,” He tells the boy who looks around wildly.

“Professor Snape,” Neville whispers, the class laughs, Remus feels sick. He senses the worried looks on the faces of those that know of his connection to Severus, ignores it all, and simply smiles reassuringly at Neville.  He goes through the rest of the class all but on auto-pilot.  That is until Harry has a turn at the boggart, Remus jumps between he and the boggart before it has a chance to change.  He worries for a moment that it will be like last time, imagine trying to explain Derek to Blaise and the others, instead a silvery orb hangs in the air.  Remus feels the instant terror, for once not abated by a feeling of calm, “ _Riddikulus!_ ” He casts as calmly as he can, “Forward, Neville, finish him off!”

He dishes out points for pretty much everything he can think of, feeling like he should make up for his husband taking them for petty reasons.

He hears Lavender wondering why he’s afraid of crystal balls and breathes a sigh of relief.

 

He heads straight to his husband’s office, glad to find Severus the only one in there.

“Frank’s Mum takes Neville to visit his parents you know,” Remus says as he enters the room, closing the door behind him.

“Does she?” Severus asks, confused about where this was going, “Look, if this is about what happened with the toad –”

“What happened to Trevor?” Severus freezes.

“Um, nothing.” Remus shakes his head, “You were saying?”

“He’s seen the state his parents are in, Augusta hasn’t hidden the reason why.  He has to truly understand how much cruelty and evil is out there, right?”

“Undoubtedly,” Severus agrees, Remus looks at him with pleading and desperate eyes.

“So if he understands the worst that Voldemort’s Death Eaters are capable of, why is the thing that scares him, more than anything, his potions teacher?” Severus looks at Remus, rather shocked.

“ _I_ _’_ _m_ his Boggart?” Remus nods, “Oh…”

“Oh?  That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say Remus?  I’m sorry?  I didn’t realise?  Well I am and I didn’t.  Not much I can do about it.” Remus glares at Severus who glares at him in return.

“You could not be a complete dick!”

“I don’t _try_ to be!” Severus defends, “A lot of it is misunderstandings.  Like today, I had an antidote in my pocket, the potion would never have killed the toad.” Remus’ face twitches.

“YOU POISONED TREVOR?!” Severus flinches, shaking his head.

“OF COURSE I DIDN’T!  I BOUGHT FRANK THAT DAMNED TOAD, I’M NOT ABOUT TO KILL IT!”

“Severus, I have seen and heard a lot since you’ve started working here, but _none_ of it could have prepared me for seeing you bully a bunch of school children like you did me in, what, third year?”

“That was different!”

“I know, things were happening then, things that changed things, and I accepted that and moved on from it.  But you’re an adult now Severus, and you are traumatising kids.”

“Look you’ve been here for four days, you’ve no idea what it’s been like for me!  I started working here the same year the war ended, do you have any idea how hard that was?”

“Yes!  I watched you go through it!”

“THEN IMAGINE COMING IN TO SCHOOL ONE DAY AND SUDDENLY IT’S LILY’S EYES AND JAMES’ FACE RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF ME!” Severus suddenly yells at him, Remus flinches back, “I have _tried_ Remus, I have.  I don’t know how to move on, I don’t know how I am supposed to talk to a boy, my own God-Son, when he has no idea who I am.  How do I look at Harry and see anything other than them?  How do I answer his questions in class without remembering all the times you, Lily, I helped his Dad out with Potions homework?  Because I _know_ it’s not fair on him, but I don’t know how to deal with it.  I don’t know how to deal with looking at Neville and knowing if it weren’t for me his parents would be fine!  If I hadn’t made that damned spell, Bella would never have lost her mind, and Alice and Frank would still be here.  I see Harry there, all alone, knowing our God-Daughter should be beside him.  I see both Harry and Neville, barely close enough to call friends, when they should have been raised _together_ along with my Niecter.  How do I cope with that?” Severus asks him, tears streaming down his face, desperate for an answer.  Remus walks forward and embraces him, not even finding it in him to be amused that Severus continues to use Jamie’s self-imposed title combining niece and daughter to go along with Daddle.

“I don’t know Severus, I really don’t.”

 

 

Remus is quite proud of how popular his class quickly grows to be, though Severus was not happy about Remus’ suggestion for humourizing Neville’s boggart.  Severus’ general mood plummeted rather drastically, though Remus is sure that’s not the reason why, he just doesn’t know what _is_.

 

Soon enough the first Hogsmeade weekend approaches, Remus works on finishing his Grindylow lesson plan.  He’s just considering a cup of tea when he sees Harry walk past his office, alone.

“Harry?” Harry turns around and walks back to him, “What are you doing? Where are Ron and Miss Granger?” All very suddenly, their interactions flood through Harry’s head and he realises that, despite now knowing her quite well, that’s all he ever calls Hermione.

“Hogsmeade,” Harry replies, a little too casually.

“Ah,” Remus looks at Harry for a moment before stepping aside in his doorway, “Why don’t you come in?  I’ve just taken delivery of a Grindylow for our next lesson.”

“A what?” Harry asks, Remus leads him back into his office and over to a large tank of water containing the creature in question.

“Water demon.  We shouldn’t have trouble with him, not after the Kappas.  The trick is to break its grip.  You notice the abnormally long fingers? Strong, but very brittle.”  They watch as the Grindylow bares its teeth and then hides away, only then does Remus turn around, looking for his kettle, “Cup of tea? I was just thinking of making one.”

“All right,” Harry replies, a tad awkwardly. Remus taps the kettle with his wand, instantly boiling it.

“Sit down, I’ve only got teabags, I’m afraid – but I daresay you’ve had enough of tea leaves?” Harry narrows his eyes at Remus suspiciously, Remus wonders if he still doesn’t trust him fully because Draco and the others are fond of him.

“How did you know about that?”

“Professor McGonagall told me, you’re not worried, are you?” He asks as he hands Harry a mug of tea.

“No,” Harry replies, he seems to debate something for a moment, but in the end says nothing.

“Anything worrying you, Harry?”

“No,” He tells him, though it’s anything but believable.  Remus decides to leave it alone just as Harry puts his tea aside, “Yes.” Remus looks at him, intrigued, but not judgemental, “You know that day we fought the Boggart?”

“Yes,” Remus replies slowly, unsure where this was going.

“Why didn’t you let me fight it?”

“I would have thought that was obvious, Harry,” Remus says, it doesn’t appear to have been as obvious as he’d assumed.

“Why?”

“Well,” He says with a frown, “I assumed that if the Boggart faced you, it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort.” Harry does not appear to have been expecting this answer, “Clearly I was wrong, but I didn’t think it a good idea for Lord Voldemort to materialise in the staff room.  I imagined that people would panic.”  Plus, Remus just really doesn’t ever want to be faced with him again.

“I did think of Voldemort first,” Harry tells him honestly, Remus is both surprised and impressed by Harry’s use of his name instead of hiding behind the usual ‘you-know who’ or ‘he-who-must-not-be-named’, “But then I – I remembered those Dementors.”

“I see, well, well…I’m impressed.  That suggests that what you fear most of all is – fear. Very wise, Harry.”  Harry seems surprised by this and unsure how to reply, Remus moves the conversation forth as Harry drinks some of his tea, “So you’ve been thinking that I didn’t believe you capable of fighting the Boggart?” Remus asks, it would explain a lot.

“Well…yeah.  Professor, you know the Dementors–” There’s a knock on the door before he can finish.

“Come in,” Remus calls, unsurprised to see Severus walk in with his goblet of Wolfsbane.  Severus doesn’t seem happy to see Harry there, but honestly at this point, Remus is one snide comment away from telling him to sod off in the middle of the Great Hall, “Ah, Severus.  Thanks very much.  Could you leave it here on the desk for me?” Severus sets the goblet down, eyes flicking between Remus and Harry, “I was just showing Harry my Grindylow,” He says pleasantly, hoping Severus’ interest in his subject would balance off his bad mood.

“Fascinating.  You should drink that directly, Lupin.”

“Yes, yes, I will,” He assures him, knowing how antsy Severus gets about his condition.  Perhaps that’s what he’s worried about, first full moon of the school year.

“I made an entire cauldronful, if you need more.” It’s now that Remus realises Severus is trying to apologise, Remus smiles gently at him.

“I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much Severus,” Remus tells him, he’s glad to see the dark look in his husband’s eyes abate slightly.

“Not at all,” He replies, looking slightly accomplished at having fixed things between them in some small way.  Remus sees Harry frown at Severus as he leaves the room and worries he’s picked up on something he shouldn’t have, or perhaps taken it the wrong way?  He really doesn’t need a _worse_ opinion of his Potions teacher.

“Professor Snape has very kindly concocted a potion for me.  I have never been much of a potion-brewer and this one is particularly complex,” He tells the curious boy, “Pity sugar makes it useless,” He says, mostly to himself.  He takes a sip and shudders at it. _It_ _’_ _s. so. Bad.  Deep breaths Lupin, you can do this, you_ _’_ _ve faced down the Dark Lord himself, you can drink the icky potion_ , He tells himself.

“Why –?” Harry begins to ask, Remus looks at him and answers, grateful for the distraction.

“I’ve been feeling a bit off-colour, this potion is the only thing that helps.  I am very lucky to be working alongside Professor Snape; there aren’t many wizards who are up to making it,” He says, though he knows it’s probably useless to attempt to endear him to Severus.  Remus takes another sip, holding back the urge to vomit and realising he’s never going to get through it like this.

“Professor Snape’s very interested in the Dark Arts,” Harry states, Remus is pretty sure he didn’t exactly mean to say it.

“Really?” He asks, though he’s more focused on the potion. _Do it in gulps, less of them_.

“Some people reckon,” Harry hesitates, “Some people reckon he’d do anything to get the Defence Against the Dark Arts job.” _Nothing for it, swallow it whole._ Remus thinks before he drains the entire thing.

“Disgusting,” He mutters, grimacing at the taste, “Well, Harry, I’d better get back to work.  I’ll see you at the feast later.”

“Right,” Harry replies, setting down his empty teacup.  He eyes the goblet suspiciously as he leaves the room.  Remus drops back onto his seat with a sigh, _he thinks my husband is attempting to poison me.  This entire school is ridiculous!_

“What the devil do I do now?” He asks the empty room, sighing as he receives no answer.

 

 

“Hey, Jamie?” Harry asks as he approaches the girl in the library.  Jamie looks up at him and smiles.

“Hi Bambi.”

“Bambi?” Jamie clears her throat awkwardly.

“Sorry, something everyone used to call you.”

“How come?” He asks, Jamie frowns.

“You know, I don’t actually remember, but I’m pretty sure it was either Uncle Padfoot or Uncle Prongs who came up with it,” She tells him.

“Uncle who now?”  Jamie chuckles.

“Prongs is James.  He, my Dad, and two of their friends had stupid nicknames for each other in school and it stuck.  Always surprised me, my Dad doesn’t really strike me as someone who would deal with something so juvenile but, apparently he came up with Uncle Wormy’s nickname ‘Wormtail’,” She explains.

“What was your Dad’s?” Harry asks, his cousin frowns again.

“I don’t know, he doesn’t talk about the past much,” Jamie replies, Harry frowns too, “Anyway, can I help you with something?”

“This actually.  Sort of.  I was just hoping you could tell me about my parents.” Jamie smiles sadly, internally debating what to say and who about.

“I don’t remember much but – I can try?” She offers, he nods enthusiastically so she gestures for him to take a seat at the library desk she had been working on, “Uncle Prongs was fun.  He and Uncle Padfoot were the best of mates.  Lived together, actually, along with Aunt Lily and Auntie Del.”

“Who is Padfoot?  And Del?” Jamie bites her lip awkwardly.

“Erm, I don’t remember Uncle Padfoot’s real name, only that he isn’t around anymore.  Not entirely sure why.  Auntie Del was his wife.  She’s in Muggle prison, don’t know why, but Dad and Daddle take me and my brothe…my brother to visit her sometimes.  The four lived together in Godric’s Hollow, nice house.  Nev and I used to be there a lot as well.  Things were hard at the time, there was a war on.  We were generally left in the care of whoever from the group could watch us.”

“The group?”

“Our family.  A group of people who had been friends for so long they really were family.  My Dad and Daddle are the only ones left now.  Well, Uncle Lu and Auntie Drom were sort of part of it at different times and they’re still alive and…sane, but they weren’t as close as the others.”

“Who were the others?” Jamie bites her lip as she thinks.

“Well, we had an Auntie Marley.  I think she lived with Dad, Uncle Padfoot, and I at some point.  I don’t really know why we were all living together, but anyway.  There’s Auntie Alice and Uncle Frank, Neville’s parents.  They’re in hospital, I won’t say why in case Neville would prefer that not be known, but we go to visit them too.  Then, Aunt Lily, Uncle Prongs, and Auntie Del.  Um, Daddle, though at the time he was just Uncle Sev to me.  He and Dad weren’t married yet.  I think my Mum might have been part of it but I’m not a hundred percent sure.”

“Who was she?” Harry asks, Jamie sighs.

“Not a hundred percent sure on that either.  I know she’s in Azkaban, don’t know why, or her name, only that she was, apparently, a member of the Black family.  Only know that because the sorting hat mentioned it when I started here.  Like I said, Dad doesn’t talk about the past much.”

“Black as in Sirius Black?” Harry asks, gaze darkening slightly, Jamie debates once more.

“I would assume so, but I don’t know.”

“I um, I overheard some Professors talking about Sirius Black being my God-Father,” Harry tells her quietly, “They said he’s the one who betrayed my parents.”  Jamie shakes her head.

“He is your God-Father, technically.  So is Daddle, by the way.  I know a lot of people think he betrayed Aunt Lily and Uncle Prongs, my parents included, but he didn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“…it’s complicated.”  Harry frowns, digesting that.

“But you’re sure?  Really and truly sure?”  Jamie nods without hesitation.

“They’re going to have him killed when he’s found, aren’t they?”

“I imagine the Dementor’s kiss is awaiting him, yes.”

“If he’s innocent we have to prove it then!” Jamie looks at him in surprise, Harry sighs, “I can’t let an innocent man die.  Besides, if we prove him innocent we can find out who really did it.”

“Harry…I’m not so sure you getting involved will help.  Everyone’s watching you really closely and if they start questioning stuff…”

“What?” Jamie looks around, frustrated and a little desperate, no idea what to say without giving the truth about his parentage away, “What aren’t you saying?” Jamie sighs, taking a deep breath before looking back at her cousin.

“There’s some things that you should know.”

 


	47. A Truly Ribbeting Conversation

Chapter 44

**_Disclaimers_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

Draco sneaks away from his friends while in Hogsmeade and begins attempting to find a big black dog, internally cursing his cousin because this is entirely ridiculous.  All of it.  Then he catches a glimpse of a tail, or, he thinks he does, but how can that be?  No, he’s too far to be sure, it must have been his imagination.  Why would he be hiding in the Shrieking Shack?  Surely he’ll know the place is haunted.

During dinner it occurs to Draco that Remus’ transformations are painful and no doubt involve screaming, plus howling from the wolf and… _That damned shack isn_ _’_ _t haunted at all, is it?_ He realises, then sighs to himself.  He’ll have to check it out after all.  But how to get there?  He can’t get to Hogsmeade, not with the Dementors around.  _Didn_ _’_ _t Uncle Remus say something about the Whomping Willow?  Bollocks, I_ _’_ _m going to try and get passed it, aren_ _’_ _t I?_

 

Also at dinner that night, Severus keeps looking over at Remus, as though checking he’s still there.  Remus really has no idea what he’s so worried about, but he’s determined for the two to have a proper conversation tonight.

Unfortunately, there’s a disturbance in Gryffindor tower, the two of them are with Minerva when she’s told and so head up with her.

The Fat Lady has vanished, and the canvas has been slashed.  Remus would recognise those slash marks anywhere, Padfoot.  His heart stops, if he’s here, then he’s really after Harry, and if he’s really after Harry then…then he’s guilty.

He doesn’t listen to much else, searches the castle as he’s told to, but finds nothing.  He wasn’t expecting to.  He and Severus walk into the Great Hall to update the Headmaster who goes through a checklist of places they have already checked.  Severus checks the room for his Daughter, God-Sons, and their friends, finding all present.  Luckily, Draco had heard the commotion and gotten in as everyone else was entering the Great Hall.  So long as no one notices he’s still dressed, or that he’s pretty certain he bruised a rib trying to get past that damned tree, all will be fine.

“Have you any theory as to how he got in, Professor?” Severus asks him, Albus sighs.

“Many, Severus, each of them as unlikely as the next,” He replies, Remus only just manages to hold back the flinch, because he knows.  Remus _knows_ how he got in, and how he escaped.  It makes sense now, doesn’t it?  Dementors don’t see animals the way they see people, and Azkaban isn’t made to hold dogs, “I must go down to the Dementors, I said I would inform them when our search was complete.”

“Didn’t they want to help, sir?” Percy Weasley asks, Albus gets a look on his face that Remus has only ever seen from the man when directed at him.

“Oh yes, but I’m afraid no Dementor will cross the threshold of the castle while I am Headmaster.” Percy says nothing as Albus leaves the hall.  Severus turns to Remus, for once his concern clear on his face.  He puts a hand on Remus’ shoulder, getting him to look at him and smiling reassuringly.  He waits until Remus smiles slightly in return before guiding him out of the hall.

Neither saw the looks the Golden Trio exchange, nor Ron’s mouthed words of ‘What was all that about?’.  They don’t see Harry avoid his gaze and briefly lock concerned eyes with Jamie.  They didn’t see the frightened looks of Blaise, Draco, and Daphne at seeing how shook up their beloved Remus is.

“Dragon,” Jamie whispers, Draco rolls over in his sleeping bag to face his cousin, “Dad has to know about him being an Animagus,” She tells him, so quietly he barely hears it even after leaning in very close to her.

“But then…that means he’s covering for him, why would he do that if he thinks he’s guilty?”

“Well suppose he doesn’t, suppose he _knows_ Uncle Padfoot is innocent.” Draco frowns.

“Should we tell him where he is?”

“You found him?”

“Pretty sure, yes.”  Jamie bites her lip.

“I’m going to investigate a bit more before I tell him, just find out if he’s where you think he is for sure, okay?”

“Jam, if he’s innocent, why is he trying to break into Gryffindor Tower?”

“I don’t know Dragon.  Find him and ask.”

“Jamie, I don’t want to die because you decided we should help a guilty man.  I don’t want Potter to die because I hid him.  I don’t want that to be on me, do you?”

“Harry knows, I told him the truth, he wants to help as well but I convinced him to stay out of it.  He’s got too many people watching him.” Draco seems surprised by this turn of events, she sighs, “I can’t let my Uncle be given the Dementor’s Kiss if he’s innocent.  If he’s innocent, then Peter Pettigrew is around here somewhere, and if he’s breaking into the tower then that’s where he’ll be.  We just have to find him.”

“How do you plan to do that?”

“I don’t know, do I have to think of everything?”

“Well I’m out of ideas!”

“Where’s your cunning?  Your sly and sneaky thinking?”

“Oh I’m so sorry I don’t have some freak tactical mode or something.”  Jamie sighs.

“Yeah, me neither.”  They lay in silence for a while, “Dragon, he _is_ innocent.”  Draco looks at her for a moment, trying to work out if she genuinely believes it or if she just really wants/needs to.  Draco nods, the two roll away from each other again.

 

“Love?” Severus asks Remus when they are back in their room, Remus turns to look at him, his expression entirely deadened.

“He’s guilty, isn’t he.” It wasn’t a question, Severus looks antsy.

“We don’t know that, there could be another explanation, perhaps he merely wanted to check on Harry, he is his Father after all,” He points out, Remus startles a little, it’s been a long time since that was spoken aloud so plainly.

“If that were why, he would not have gotten so angry and destroyed the Fat Lady,” He says carefully and quietly, “I’ve spent twelve years trying to prove he’s innocent, working on nothing but my belief that I knew him better than that.  I was willing to believe my best friend had betrayed us over…even with all the evidence…it never mattered what I thought.  He’s guilty, he has been all along.  I never should’ve trusted him.” Remus goes to bed without another word, Severus isn’t sure what he could say.

 

The school talks of nothing but Sirius Black for days, Draco and the others ignore all of it.  Instead, they’re on their best behaviour, trying to do anything and everything good that they can think of.  There isn’t anything else they can do to help cheer Remus up besides make him proud of them.  Most of the teachers regard them in suspicion, Remus doesn’t seem to care.  Sure he notices, he smiles, he tells them they’ve done good and he’s proud, but they know it’s all for their benefit, his heart is not in it.  Severus doesn’t seem much better.

“There’s something I haven’t told you,” Blaise tells them the day before the Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor.

“What?” Theo asks, Blaise bites his lip awkwardly.

“An Auror came by Remus and Severus’ place, asking questions about Sirius Black’s escape.  I think they knew him, I think they were friends.” Theo, Pansy, Draco, Vince, Greg, Astoria, and Daphne all exchange worried looks.

“Jamie said Black was her Uncle once,” Draco quietly admits, the others look surprised, Blaise nods.

“If that’s true then this must be killing them, no wonder Sev’s been in a bad mood,” Pansy comments, because even Slytherin had noticed.

“That and the two have been fighting a lot,” Astoria points out, “I heard them a while ago, something about Sev poisoning Longbottom’s toad?  I only heard a few shouted lines before I decided to retreat.  Remus wasn’t happy.”

“Tensions about Sev’s teaching methods have been rising since we started here,” Blaise tells them, they all look concerned.

“What do we do?” Vince asks, the group exchange looks again.

“I don’t know what more we _can_ do.  We’re keeping out of trouble, you got Slytherin out of Saturday’s match so they don’t spend the entire time worrying about you.  We haven’t even sniped at any ickle firstie Gryffindors,” Pansy says, disheartened.

“I hope they sort this out soon,” Daphne comments, they all agree.

 

When they arrive at their DADA lesson later that day, it’s to find Severus Snape teaching the class.  He’s tense, and irritable, and, to anyone who knows him, clearly deeply worried about something.  When he skips to the chapter about Werewolves, their group of Slytherins glare daggers at him.

By the end of it, their group held back, not leaving their seats as the others leave.  Harry and Hermione exchange looks, concerned about what they were up to, but they could see the group was as upset with Snape, if not more so, as everyone else.  Harry had almost forgotten how Malfoy had given up his pride to keep from upsetting Professor Lupin.  They cared for him, and they were going to defend him.  Harry and Hermione walk out, and sure, he complains as much as everyone else, but he’s fairly certain Snape’s going to get what he deserves, and from his own house no less.

“I only require Weasley’s presence,” Severus tells the group when they make no move to leave.

“We’ll wait,” Pansy tells him lightly.  He glares at them but quickly sorts out the Weasel’s detention.  Draco can’t even find his usual pleasure in seeing Gryffindors, especially those three, suffer.

“Well?” Severus asks when Ron shuts the door.

“We were about to ask you that,” Draco tells him, “Are you _trying_ to get him fired?  Or _worse_?”  Severus ignores them, packing up his things, “No, dammit, we’ve let you get away with a lot of shit lately, but this is too much.  To completely disrespect Uncle Remus in front of his own class is one thing, a thing I’d defend him for but ultimately leave it to him to deal with, but this?  What the hell _is_ this?!” He demands, shoving his book, still open to page three-hundred-and-ninety-four, in front of him on the teacher’s desk, having gotten up and stalked over.  The others join him, an angry presence behind him.

“Don’t any of you pretend to understand anything about what’s going on here!”

“Does it have something to do with you and him being friends with Sirius Black?” Severus freezes, turning back to face them at Blaise’s words, a look on his face that they’ve never had directed at them.

“That…man…he is not my friend.  He…look you children are exactly that, _children_.  You don’t know what that time was like, you don’t know what he-what _he_ was like.  You don’t know what he did, not all of it.  So I’ll thank you to keep your noses _out_ of it.”  With that he grabs his bag and stalks out of the room, leaving the stunned group behind him.

“Anyone else have any ideas?” Daphne asks, Draco looks uncertain.

“Professor McGonagall came over with my Father to see Uncle Remus and Uncle Sev the morning Black’s escape hit the papers, remember?”  The others nod, “Then she probably has more of an idea what’s going on than we do.”

“Are you suggesting we tell on Sev to Professor McGonagall?” Pansy asks, looking at him like he’s an idiot.

“What if she fires Remus, or Severus, or both.  This is serious, and it’s bad.”

“Should we write to your father?” Vince asks Draco who seems surprised he had spoken, even more so at the suggestion, Draco nods.

They go to the owlery immediately, taking parchment and self-inking quill with them, uncaring that they’re missing their next class.

_Father,_

_I am concerned.  Gravely concerned, as are the others._

_Something is very wrong with Uncle Sev and Uncle Remus.  We know a bit more about the situation than we did at the beginning of the year, but even we can admit we clearly don_ _’_ _t know enough._

_Uncle Sev is being dangerous, risking Uncle Remus_ _’_ _badly behaved rabbit._

_Tensions are running high, and everything seems to be going wrong with the two of them._

_We don_ _’_ _t know what_ _’_ _s going on, but if something doesn_ _’_ _t happen soon, I really think Uncle Remus_ _’_ _rabbit is going to be brought out in front of the entire damned school.  Or worse, one of them is going to do something stupid about the other things going on at the moment and get themselves killed.  Or other very bad things, but something is going to happen and we are officially out of ideas._

_Please, don_ _’_ _t just write this off as paranoia._

_Your Son,_

_Draco_

“Hey, what do you call a snake who works for the government?” Ron hears Fred ask as he approaches his brothers and their Slytherin friend that he never really pays attention to and tries to pretend they don’t have.

“If this is another stupid pun –”

“It’s not, well it is, but this one is actually funny.”  Ron frowns at how odd it is that he’s talking without George adding anything.

“What is it?”

“A civil serpent,” Fred concludes, he and his twin howling with laughter as their friend just shakes her head with an amused look.

“George, Fred,” Ron calls as he walks over.

“How’s our ickle Ronnikins?” George asks, Ron rolls his eyes.

“Listen, you two still care about Lupin?” The twins and the Slytherin exchange looks.

“Yeah, ‘course we do.”

“Then you might want to do something about Snape.”

“What are you talking about?” The Snake demands briskly, Ron opens her mouth to give a scathing response but the twins seem to be on her side.  He, instead, gives a brief overview of the lesson.

“I don’t see how anyone could be married to that git, specially if he treats his own husband about as well as he does everyone else,” Ron concludes.

“I’m lifting my restrictions on pranking him,” The Slytherin tells the two, “Excuse me, I’m going to go have a screaming match with Severus.”  With that she leaves, Ron looks at the two in confusion, they seem rather put-out.  Fred goes after her as George gestures for Ron to sit beside him.

“That girl, her name is Jamie Lupin.” Ron’s eyes widen, he’d forgotten about that, it hadn’t come up again for him and it hadn’t been important information, “She’s Professor Lupin and Professor Snape’s daughter, sort of.  Point is, there was…an event over the summer.  The family was sort of fractured, no one’s really sure who they can rely on and who to give distance to…it’s complicated.  Most important thing is, you and your friends stay out of it, okay?” Ron nods.

“Remind me again how it is you became friends with a Slytherin anyway?”

“We’ve been friends since we were toddlers, Ron.  You were just too young to remember her.” Ron looks surprised, “You can’t tell Mum and Dad that though, it was during the war, they don’t know that we remember any of that.”

“What was it like?” He asks, he hadn’t known that they remembered it either, George hesitates.

“Harsh.  A lot of the time there wasn’t time for kids to mess about, throw tantrums, the usual kid stuff.  They really needed us to just follow instructions and get out of the way.  We’d be passed around to whoever could watch us.  Us less so than the kids of the Potter clan.  We’d spend a lot of time staying in the Potter Estate with some other at risk kids.  Harry, Nev, and Jamie stayed there sometimes too, usually during Order meetings.  We didn’t spend all that much time in the burrow during those years.  They did their best to give us a normal childhood, and a lot of the time they succeeded.  We were far better off than Harry was, poor kid wasn’t allowed to leave the house to go anywhere but the Estate.  Thing is though, we heard a lot.  We saw a lot too.  Everyone was terrified, nightmares were common, the kids at the Estate had seen family die and such.  These things, they aren’t forgotten, no matter how young we were.  That’s why Bill and Charlie are so protective, for Freddie and me it’s just a memory really, for them it’s more like they lived it.  They remember exactly how dangerous everything can be, there was no way for Mum and Dad to hide it from them.  Jamie stayed with us for a while when her Dad was being held by you-know-who.  What he was like when he came back…we never saw him, but Jamie told us.  That’s why the three of us are so protective of him, we never want to see him hurt again.  So you did the right thing in telling us, but as I said it’s really important all of you stay out of this as best you can, do you understand, Ron?” Ron nods, feeling like he’s in shock from everything he just heard.  He’s never heard his brother sound so serious.  Ron vows to make sure his Professor is never hurt again as well.

 

Remus wakes up from a nap in his office to see Ginny Weasley sitting on the other side of his desk, reading a book.

“My parents told me a bit about you on the way home from the station after we met, said you’d met during the war,” She says, apparently noticing he’s awake.  She calmly puts the book away as she turns her attention to him fully, “I also know that they met Black then as well, which means you knew each other.  I’m sorry, this can’t be easy.”  Remus has no idea what to say, luckily, she doesn’t seem to need words, she just continues talking, “I tend to know a lot of things, more observant than people give me credit for,” She says, “Just like I know that you’re a Werewolf.” Remus’ eyes widen as he starts panicking, “And I don’t care.”

“What?” He asks, finally finding his voice, she looks at him with something he’s never seen before, not pity, but understanding.

“I know what it’s like to be possessed by something evil,” She tells him, and he believes it, “It doesn’t _make_ you evil.  Even when you are forced to do things that some might consider so, even when you remember being the one to do those things, it’s still not you.”  She reaches into her bag, searching for something, “I wrote to my parents, to find out if they knew what your favourite is, apparently it’s not exactly a secret.” With that, she places a bar of his favourite dark chocolate in front of him, “Feel better, Professor.  We need you back, your husband is terrorising your class as well as his own.”  With that she leaves.

“Um…”

 

Remus has always hated the full moon.  Well, okay, that’s not entirely accurate.  There were a few years there that went from ‘worst thing ever’ to ‘hey this is actually kinda fun’, but then those days were ripped away from him and now he chooses to believe he’s always hated it instead of the empty ache in his chest making it all the worse.

So, for the sake of his sanity, Remus has always hated the full moon.

Being back in Hogwarts had been an experience.  He’d sat in his office, waiting for the moon to rise, and sobbed at the thought of being here yet doing this alone.  He then continued to sob right up until he transformed, at which point Moony had gotten excited, sniffed around for his pack, and then released a mournful whimper when he found nothing.  That’s when he’d come to his senses.  There’s always a short gap between transforming and his brain kicking in again.  Most of the time it’s just enough for Moony to get a scratch in, this time Moony didn’t scratch, Moony grieved.

_It_ _’_ _s the first thing we_ _’_ _ve agreed on in a while._

Waking up from a post-moon nap in his office to see Ginny had been odd.  To hear the words come from her mouth had been odder still, and to now sit at the teacher’s table, eating with the others despite one of the students knowing his secret, well he’s had a very odd day.

It got even more odd.

He was walking with Minerva through the hall towards the staffroom when they found an angry Professor Binns.

“Remy. Lupin.” Remus blinks at him, doing his best to move past the name.

“Professor Binns, can I help you?” He asks, Minerva already looks done and he hasn’t even done anything!

“Are you _trying_ to sabotage my students?!” Remus blinks again.

“No?” He replies, though it sounds more like a question but honestly he’s very confused.

“No?  Well then explain to me why it is four of my sixth years came in with incorrect information, and when questioned, said you’d helped them with their homework?” Remus frowns.

“I’ve been helping the students with work for years.  Since working here I thought continuing to do so would be a bit rude and inappropriate, so when they came to me I suggested they seek help from you as you are the History of Magic teacher, but seeing as they only had one question I didn’t think it would be that much of an issue if I answered it.”

“And it wouldn’t have been, had you answered it correctly.  This is just like you Lupin –” Binns begins to rant, Minerva buries her face in her hands but says nothing.

“Professor, what is it they got wrong?”

“The dates of the goblin war, they were off by a century!  Did you learn nothing from my class?!” Remus looks at him, nonplussed.

“Professor, do you think I’ve memorised the dates for every historical event?!” Remus suddenly questions harshly, Minerva and Binns looking confused in the sudden change of attitude.

“Clearly not!”

“Of course not!  That’s why I read the date out of the text book _you_ set them!” Binns freezes, Minerva massages her forehead, “There’s probably a typo somewhere.  And might I add, I might be better at the subject if I didn’t have to go looking for my own materials because you keep assigning books that are sloppily written and factually incorrect, where are you finding these things? Really?”

“This was bad enough when you were a student, but to question a fellow teac-”

“I wouldn’t have needed to question you then if you were right, and I haven’t done a thing to you since working here until you came here making wild accusations that a simple moment’s logic could have told you was wrong.”  He holds back the scathing remark about Binns being unable to tell right and wrong based on the curriculum, deciding that probably goes a bit far.

“Silence!  Both of you!  Honestly, you’re behaving like children.  If it means that much to you then the both of you are going to spend the entire weekend going through those damned books and banning any you agree to be wrong.  I want a list of books to be rid of by Monday morning, am I clear?” Her colleagues look to each other for a moment before looking back.

“Minnie, are you giving us detention?” Remus asks, he and Binns looking rather amused.

“I’m asking you to do your damned jobs.  If giving you a time frame and a deadline is what it takes then yes, Remus, I am giving both of you detention, for taking twenty years to sort out a problem and continuing to shout at each other as though you’re both school boys!  Now I’ll have no more of this nonsense, am. I. clear?” The ghost and the Werewolf both nod solemnly.

“Yes, Professor McGonagall,” The chorus, she nods with a huff.

“Good.”

 

Remus all but collapses at the end of the day, still feeling ill from the moon.  Severus brings him tea and soup as he usually does before curling up in his Animagus form beside Remus.  Remus strokes him lightly as they go to sleep.

 

The weekend is long.  Remus and Binns argue practically non-stop, get kicked out of the library when looking for materials to prove the other wrong twice, and a book gets set on fire.  Luckily it’s a book they both agree is wrong, unluckily it’s still burning when Minerva walks in.

“Really Remus?”

“Why do you assume it was me?!”

“Because it’s on fire.” Remus looks like he’s about to argue before he stops and nods.

“All right, fair enough.”

“There was an incident during the Quidditch match, Harry’s in the hospital.” Remus looks at her in alarm, instantly straightening up.

“Is he all right?” Minerva nods.

“He is, some Dementors came within the grounds, Albus is not happy.” Remus frowns.

“No, I can’t imagine he is.”

 

On Monday, Remus and Binns, quite proudly, deliver a list of texts and their agreed recommendation on replacements.  Minerva takes a look at their faces and chuckles, nodding.

“I shall handle it all myself.”

 

Remus heads to his class, excited to be back.  He’s in the classroom when the students arrive, they seem relieved to have him back.  Immediately they begin complaining about their fill-in teacher, Severus.

“We don’t know anything about Werewolves –”

“– two rolls of parchment!”

“Did you tell Professor Snape we haven’t covered them yet?” He asks, frowning, fighting back tears.  Why would he do this?  He’s also a tad confused to see Ron looking at him as worriedly as Blaise and the others.  Also, Harry’s staring despondently out of the window and Remus finds himself rather concerned about that as well, particularly when Miss Granger seems just as concerned.

“Yes, but he said we were really behind –”

“– he wouldn’t listen –”

“– _two rolls of parchment!_ ” Remus can’t help but smile slightly at the indignant looks on his students’ faces.

“Don’t worry, I’ll speak to Professor Snape.  You don’t have to do the essay.”

“Oh no, I’ve already finished it!” He hears Miss Granger say.

Remus glides through the rest of the lesson, and the conversation with Harry, had he really agreed to teach a third year the Patronus charm?

Remus heads back to his office, unsurprised to find a group of third year Slytherins awaiting him, arms full of chocolate.

As one, his young charges move forward and hug him, he does his best to hug them all in return.

“We told him off real good when it happened,” Pansy tells him, a nervous expression on her face, Draco nods.

“And I wrote to my father about it, well, vaguely.  I think he wrote to Uncle Sev because the next potions class was sort of a nightmare.”

“That may have been because we scolded him though,” Blaise adds. Remus smiles at them, despite his glistening eyes.

“I appreciate you all standing up for me, but I don’t want you making lives hard for yourselves.”

“That’s what family is for.  Good times and bad, and if Sev is going to be a prat, then at least you know you aren’t alone.  Because you are a lot of things, I can list them if you like, but you aren’t alone.” Remus ruffles Blaise’s hair, he squawks indignantly.  The others laugh at him, but Remus seems happier, so he figures it’s worth it.

 

“Hey, Weaslette!” Draco whisper yells as Ginny walks by, she turns to him and raises an eyebrow.

“Malfoy?” She asks in a confused yet intrigued tone.

“Look, Remus Lupin is my God-Father, so I knew all about his furry little problem, and I know you do too.” She narrows her eyes, “I’m not looking for trouble, but how would you like to have me in your debt for one favour?” Her eyes light up mischievously.

“What do you want?”

“The twins to make Severus Snape’s life hell.  Not the old tricks either.  Give them this, tell them they have a benefactor, buy all new stuff, and make it good.” He hands her a pouch filled with a sizable amount of galleons, she weighs it in her hand and nods.

“I suppose you want to keep your name out of this?” Draco nods, she nods again.

“All right, I’ll pass it along.  But I shan’t be forgetting you owe me a favour.” He nods.

 

“Oi, George, Fred!” Ginny calls, they look at their sister simultaneously, she jerks her head to get them to follow her, “How would you feel about making Snape’s life hell?” The two frown.

“What did he do?”

“Upset someone that another person cares about.  This person seems to think you’re the best to get him back but doesn’t want any old tricks.  They’ve given me this to pass on so that you can get new gear.  Use it wisely boys, make it spectacular.” The two look intrigued, taking the pouch and looking inside, their eyes light up with the knowledge that they’re allowed to now, though both know they’ll check with Jamie first.

“Oh this is going to be good.”

 

 

Severus returns to his living quarters after a frightfully long day to find his husband sitting on the edge of their bed, looking miserable.  Of course, Severus knows why, knows his students would have told him as soon as he got back.

“Love?” Remus looks up at him, heartbreak clear on his face.

“Why?” Severus sat beside him calmly.

“In case something goes wrong.  I don’t see how it could, but if it does…I know your feelings are hurt Remus and I understand why, but I felt it a necessary precaution that the students know what to expect should the worst happen.”

“Suddenly you’ve grown to care for them?” Severus sighs.

“If something went wrong, you would never forgive yourself, and neither would I.  I don’t think any of them will work it out, but I know that’s a risk.  I just thought…I thought the safety of the students should come first.” Remus nods, trying to calm down.

“Of course it does, I just…”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Severus says earnestly.  He debated with himself quite a bit whether it was worth it, but Severus remembers seeing the wolf in sixth year, remembers it attacking he and James.  He couldn’t allow the students to remain defenceless.  And sure, there isn’t much they could do against a full-grown Werewolf, but they have better chances now than they had to begin with, “I love you Remus,” He tells him truthfully, Remus takes his hand, linking their fingers together.

“I love you too.”

 

With the unfortunate date of the full moon, Remus is out for the count over Christmas.

He and Severus are at least doing better, things really seem to be going back to normal.

When Harry mentions Remus’ promised Dementor defence lessons, his mind starts working out all the different ways he could get a Dementor to use without actually having a Dementor.

“You said Bambi’s terrified of them, right?” Severus asks, Remus nods, “Well then it’s obvious, isn’t it?  Use what started this whole mess.”  Remus’ eyes light up, he kisses Severus quickly before rushing out of the room.  Severus just smiles, fondly shaking his head as he finishes up preparation for the next lesson.

He’s in a surprisingly good mood that lesson.  He lets Hermione answer a question, only takes points off of Gryffindor when Weasley makes a snide remark about Draco, and, best of all, threatens no one’s pet.  He makes a mental note to speak to his husband though, something seems different in Ron and Severus has to admit, he’s a bit concerned where this new serious attitude came from.  He’s quite proud of himself and knows his husband will be too.  Of course, Neville’s still practically shaking in his seat right up until the end of lesson.

“Mr Longbottom, stay behind for a moment.”  The boy looks petrified and Severus actually feels guilty, even more so at how reluctant his peers are to leave him behind.

“Y-Yes, sir?” Severus shifts awkwardly, clears his throat, and then answers.

“I don’t believe you’re feeding that toad enough, that’s why he keeps running off.  Those kind of toads require more food as they age, and that one’s fifteen-years-old.” Neville seems thoughtful before he nods, he doesn’t question how he knows his toad’s age.

“I’ll try feeding him some more then, tha-thanks, Professor.”

“You may go.” The boy leaves quickly.

Severus nods to himself, he’s done good.

 

 

“Harry hears James and Lily, the night they died.  When the Dementors get close, that’s what he hears.” Severus looks at Remus, horror and surprise on his face, “Sev, Sirius didn’t do it.  For god’s sake, Harry is his _son_.  We’ve lived this lie for so long it’s like we’ve forgotten.  There’s no way he tried to turn his own child over to Voldemort.” Severus sits down on their bed.  It’s the night after Harry won Gryffindor the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw, he’s pretty sure he can hear the celebrations from here.  But Draco’s cruel prank had got him thinking, and boy was he going to have words with his God-Son.  The group had apparently knocked off their good behaviour now that things between Severus and Remus are better.

“Remus, the evidence –”

“I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THE EVIDENCE SAYS!  I know him Severus, I know him better than I know myself, and he _did not do this_.  He wouldn’t!  Not ever.”

“THEN THAT MEANS PETER DID!  IS THAT ANY MORE BELIEVABLE?” Severus suddenly snaps, “YOU CAN GO ON ABOUT SIRIUS’ INNOCENCE ALL YOU LIKE, BUT _SOMEONE_ ’S GUILTY!”

“I KNOW! I-I know.  Dammit of course it’s not easy to believe, but it makes more sense than Padfoot telling Voldemort where to find his wife and two infant children, doesn’t it?!”

“I don’t know!  What about the fact that he killed Peter?  And the Muggles he blew up?  I don’t want to think he’s guilty Re but…dammit I just don’t know Remus, but he’s here now.  Why else would he be here if not for Harry?”

“Maybe you were right, maybe he _was_ just trying to check on him.” Severus sighs, rubbing his forehead and looking at the ground, he nods.

“Okay.” Remus looks at him in confusion.

“Okay?”

“Okay, he’s innocent.  Only way to prove that is to find him before anyone else does and find out what really happened.  You know him so well, where is he?  How’d he escape?  How’d he get in?” Remus bites his lip awkwardly.

“There’s a way to find out, but I need to get into Filch’s office without him catching me.” Severus nods again.

“I’ll distract him.”

 

An hour and a half later they meet up again.

“And?”

“And it’s gone.”

“It’s gone?” Remus groans, pacing as he tugs at his hair.

“Our one blasted chance of finding him, and it’s _gone_!”

“All right, Remus, calm down.  What could have happened to it?”

“Someone must have taken it from his office, the question is, who?  I mean, they might have graduated by now and taken it with them, or…Severus why is your hair turning pink?” Severus sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Weasley twins, they seem to have it out for me at the moment and Jamie, apparently, has no intention to intervene.” Remus’ eyes widen, he grabs Severus shoulders and smiles widely.

“The twins, Severus, _the twins_!”  For a moment, Severus freezes up in a panic, how many times had those words been spoke in reference to his sons… _no, don_ _’_ _t, don_ _’_ _t go there._

“What about them?” Severus asks, voice slightly strained, but Remus is too caught up in things to notice the shift in his husband’s demeanour

“They have it, they must!  Oh it makes perfect sense!” Severus looks at him dubiously.

“If you say so, Love.”  That’s when Remus hears the scream, he sprints out, Severus following behind him.

As they run, he hears yelling, about Sirius Black.  A minute later they run into Minerva who looks hurried.

“He’s been in the castle, was in the boys’ dormitory with a knife!” She tells them, all thoughts leave as they search the castle once more.

 

“There must be an explanation for this…” Remus says quietly as the two search the third floor, Severus raises an eyebrow at him, he sighs.

“Let’s say you’re right, say he is innocent.  Why’s he doing this?  What happened twelve years ago?”

“I don’t know Sev, I really don’t.  If it really was Peter, then perhaps Sirius went after him, not the other way around, and –”

“You’re forgetting two very important things Re.  The witness statements, and the fact that Sirius was James and Lily’s secret keeper.”

“As far as we know!  Maybe they switched!  Maybe he never was!”

“Why would they do that?  And why wouldn’t we know?”

“I wasn’t even back when the spell was cast, and you were still…maybe they kept it to themselves for safety.  Less people who know, the less chance it gets out.  Plus, even if they switched it later, well, you weren’t exactly in the most trustworthy position, and I was half out of my mind.” Severus stops their progress, looking at him in annoyance.

“So you’d rather believe they thought that little of us, trusted us that little, than all of the evidence that points to the simplest of conclusions?”

“I don’t see what’s simple about that conclusion!”

“Are you in love with him?  Is that it?” Remus rears back, looking at Severus in shock.

“No, of course not.  It’s not about that Severus, we were a family, we were all family –”

“Yes, and now we’re the only two left.  You are my husband Remus, _you_ are my family.  Jamie, Benni, Lucius, Draco, Blaise, and the others, _that_ _’_ _s_ your family, _our_ family.  Not the man who tore the last one apart.  Now I am going to find him, and he is going to get what he deserves, with or without your help.”  With that he turns and walks off to continue searching the castle, Remus silently trudging along behind him.

That night is the first one that Remus truly _struggles_ with the urge to drink.

 

Remus doesn’t talk much the next day.  His colleagues exchange concerned looks, it doesn’t help that Severus is absent from breakfast.  Remus thinks that if he were to look up, he’d see concern on quite a few faces, he doesn’t look up.

Severus is right of course, not their argument last night, but when he said the safety of the students comes first.  Remus must act as though Sirius is guilty until there’s proof he’s innocent.  Hesitation could cost someone their lives.  Remus just _has_ to prove Sirius’ innocence. 

He has to, there’s no other choice.

 

 

Everyone sits in Breakfast, as is normal, one Thursday morning.  All is well and normal, but George, Jamie, and Fred keep exchanging looks, waiting for their plan to commence.  They were lucky no one had noticed yet, in all honesty.  Subtlety is not their strong point today.  Finally, they hear it.

“REMUS LUPIN!”  Everyone looks to the man in surprise, Remus looking up and over towards the doorway just as a _very_ pissed off Minerva McGonagall enters.

“Yes?” He asks, obviously very confused.  The simple fact that she’s immediately blamed him has the twins and Jamie looking at each other, suspicions now confirmed.  But this hadn’t really been the point.  Jamie doesn’t yet know what is, but she is fairly certain they are about to find out.

“FROGS REMUS!  FROGS ARE EVERYWHERE!  THEY ARE IN MY OFFICE AND I WANT THEM OUT!” Remus seems even more confused, Severus sighs shaking his head before fixing his husband with an unimpressed look.

“Really?  Again?”

“I swear, I have no idea what she’s talking about.  Minnie, what frogs?”  Jamie nods to George who flicks his wand at the doors to the Great Hall.  They open and frogs come tumbling in, replicating as they jump.

“THOSE FROGS!” Remus laughs.  Really _really_ hard.  He literally cannot even breathe.  Most of the school is as well, the rest are freaking out about the sheer volume, many on tables, some screaming, everyone is super confused.

“Professor Lupin –” Dumbledore begins, surprising a lot of the student in his apparent belief that Remus is responsible.  Jamie can’t get over the shock of seeing her father _laughing_.

“I-I sw-swear, I di-didin’t do-do i-it,” Remus tries to claim as he laughs.

“YOU HAVE FLOODED THESE HALLS TWICE BEFORE, WHO ELSE WOULD EVEN _THINK_ TO DO IT REMUS?  WHO ELSE?!” Remus appears to be torn between his inability to stop laughing and his mild fear at how truly angry with him McGonagall appears to be.

“I-I don’t know, but Minnie, really, I had nothing to do with this.  Though  I can understand why you would assume otherwise.”

“Re-”

“Sev!  Really, this wasn’t me.  Honestly, I’m an adult, do you really think I walk around with self-multiplying frogs in case a particular hallway strikes my fancy?”

“Well it certainly would not surprise me,” Albus says, it’s at this point the three pranksters realise Remus may be about to get into actual trouble.

“Will you just get rid of them,” Minerva demands.

“What am I supposed to do with thousands of frogs?”

“You should have thought of that before you let them invade the school.”

“It wasn’t me!”

“Actually, Professors, it was us,” The Weasley twins and Jamie admit. McGonagall, Severus, and Albus all look at them, angered and nonplussed.  Remus is trying very hard not to keep laughing.  It’s not going well.

“I warned you, Remus.  I warned you if you gave them any sort of advice or anything that it would be _you_ serving detention.”

“But I didn’t!” McGonagall gives her best ‘really?  _That_ _’_ _s_ what you’re going with?’ look, the same one she gave he and Sirius when they claimed to have walked into a door after turning up with numerous injuries.  She then turns to the three of them and raises an expectant eyebrow.  Remus, meanwhile, ends the enchantment on the frogs and shrinks them all to very small sizes, levitating them to ensure they are not stepped on.

“What are you planning on doing with them?”

“You told me to deal with them, I’m dealing with them,” Remus announces before clicking his fingers and then waving a hand.  The frogs are gone, Severus is 100% sure this is not over.

“We…um…found a room…with some books…and one of them had some stuff in it,” George explains.  Severus, Remus, and Minerva exchange alarmed looks.

“What…room?” Severus asks, the students look reluctant to say.

“Which floor?”

“This one,” Jamie tells them, all three let out a sigh of relief, “Is there something more exciting on another one?”

“No!” Severus and Minerva say at once, the troublesome trio exchange excited look.

“Jamie,” Remus says, she looks over, saddened to see the laughter has left him, “Don’t.” She frowns, looking at him seriously, she purses her lips but nod.

“Detention, for all of this madness.  All three of you.  Thursday evening.  With me,” Minerva tells them, they nod.  But it doesn’t matter to them.

See, years ago, they’d found this strange bit of parchment that, upon hearing Jamie’s name, had begun talking to them.  She recognised the names speaking, but hadn’t truly been able to believe that _her_ Dad was Moony.  She’s fairly convinced now, which means everything she thought she knew about him is wrong.  Once upon a time they were the closest people could be, but he changed and she grew and now it’s like they don’t even know each other at all.  Remus and Jamie lock eyes, and she sees this all reflected in this.  But then he smiles, and it’s one of those rare smiles she only started seeing after he and her Daddle got together and hasn’t seen since her Aunt Cissa died.  It’s those rare smiles brought about by happy memories from times he tries not to remember, and she knows now that should she ask about that time, she may just get more than silence back.

She may just get _him_ back.


	48. Oh Padfoot

Chapter 45

****

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

Remus sits in his office after speaking with Severus, Harry, and Ron, staring at the parchment in his hands.  He never thought he’d see it again.

The weeks of work that had gone into this map…

_“_ _Is this a map showing where everyone is in the school?_ _”_ _Remus nods._

_“_ _It also shows the moving staircases as it goes.  It occurred to me that not everyone can memorise their pattern._ _”_

_“_ _I still don_ _’_ _t believe there is one._ _”_ _Remus ignores Peter_ _’_ _s negativity as he focuses on the map before him._

_“_ _And check this out, mischief managed,_ _”_ _He taps his cinnamon stick against the paper, the map disappears,_ _“_ _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._ _”_ _The map reappears with another tap of the cinnamon stick._

_“_ _I thought it doesn_ _’_ _t work as a wand?_ _”_ _Peter asks, Remus sighs._

_“_ _It doesn_ _’_ _t, but some magic will still recognise it as one, like mine for instance.  I can_ _’_ _t use it, but my magic remembers what it is, and I did the enchantments.  So it works for this._ _”_

_“_ _How did you do this?_ _”_ _James asks in disbelief._

_“_ _Will it show people no matter what?  Even if they had_ _…_ _say_ _…_ _an invisibility cloak on?_ _”_ _Sirius questions, Remus finds the three different priorities amusing, though only his eyes betray that._

_“_ _No, not the cloak.  I need to work with the actual cloak to make it do that, I didn_ _’_ _t want to take it without permission but I also wanted this to be a surprise so I just haven_ _’_ _t added that feature yet._ _”_

_“_ _This is amazing,_ _”_ _James tells him,_ _“_ _Good work Moony!_ _”_

_“_ _Thanks, I-I was thinking we should sign it somehow, have almost like a title page._ _”_

_“_ _I can design that if you can put it on?_ _”_ _Remus nods, the other two agree with Sirius_ _’_ _suggestion.  He was a great artist after all._

_“_ _I know what we should call it,_ _”_ _Peter tells them, they all look at him._

_“_ _What?_ _”_ _James questions, Peter grins._

_“_ _The Marauder_ _’_ _s Map._ _”_

Remus sighs, putting the map in his pocket.  He isn’t a child anymore, and all year he’s just been dwelling on the past.  Severus is right, that family was torn apart and the one he has now is in danger.  Remus gets up and heads out of his office to find his Husband.

“Sev, can we talk?” Remus asks from the door way of the other man’s office.

“Oh I’m not sure we should, after all, Messr Moony has suggested I keep my abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”

“Severus, we were kids when we wrote that.”

“What the hell even _is_ it?” Remus sighs.

“It’s a map, it’s what I was going to get out of Filch’s office.  I think the twins must have given it to Harry.”

“Remus, why is it so important to you he’s innocent?  It’s been twelve years, and I know it still hurts that he betrayed us, I _know_.  But why can’t you just accept the truth?” Severus demands, getting out of his chair and walking around it towards Remus, “It’s not as though it was the first time he turned on you.”

“Is that why you’re so desperate for him to be guilty?  Are you still mad about that?”

“For one, yes, yes I am.  And for two, No!  I’m not desperate for him to be guilty, I wish he weren’t!  But he _is_ , and I can’t turn a blind eye to that while he’s out and running free, threatening students.”

“But when you threaten them it’s okay?” Severus freezes as he looks at Remus.

“Did you just compare me to Sirius Black?” Remus sighs.

“Severus, I came in here to talk calmly, to fix things.”

“Well that isn’t going to happen because I am incapable of calm right now.  Perhaps we should try again once he’s been caught.”

“Okay, even I have been more rational than you about this with general day to day behaviour.  So what’s going on?” Severus crosses his arms, leaning against the front of his desk.

“Lily once told me that when she was younger, the only flowers she could conjure were petunias.  It was her love for her sister that powered her.  After things went awry with the two of them, she lost the ability to make petunias, any time she tried they’d wither and die.  She told me this while attempting to get me to open up to her after my parents died, said she didn’t want me to be just another dead flower to her,” He tells him, Remus remains quiet as he speaks, “It was that thought that allowed me to fight off the Imperius Curse when Cygnus Black cast it on me in class.  Now she’s gone.  James started the always waiting thing for me because he refused to believe I wasn’t capable of coming back, because he didn’t want to give up on me.  He accepted me back even after I joined Voldemort, he saved my life when Sirius tried to end it.  Now he’s gone.  Both of them are gone, because of him.  He’s off running free doing god knows what while I sit here and continue to mourn the people who were supposed to be his closest friends!  The God-Parents to his son, Aunt and Uncle of his children.  While his wife sits in a gaol cell because her Brother wasn’t around to bail her out.  I’m not okay with that!  I won’t ever be!  He needs to be stopped Remus, and I am going to make sure he is,” He continues, Remus bites his lip anxiously, “Stay out of this Re, because I will do whatever it takes to take him down, and I don’t want you to be with him when I do.”

“You’d choose revenge over your own Husband?”

“You’d choose a traitor over yours?” Remus doesn’t respond, Severus nods, “You’d do anything for him.”

“I wouldn’t let him harm a student.”

“Yet you’ll risk not being able to stop it happening.”

“What are you talking about Severus?!”

“I know you know how he escaped!  How he got into the castle, both times.” Remus looks to his feet, “He will attack again Remus, do you want that to be on you?” Remus closes his eyes, tears forming.

“I’ll find him Severus, and if he’s not innocent, I will hand him over to the Dementors myself.” Severus nods.

“I hope that’s enough.”

 

 

“Want to tell us what’s been going on with you, mate?” Ron asks Harry when he and Hermione find him mindlessly staring out of a window again.

“Jamie Lupin is my cousin,” He replies, his two friends look surprised as they sit either side of him.

“What?” Harry nods.

“Our parents were really close, she’s even named after James Potter.  Turns out that Snape is my God-Father, too.”

“Hell of a God-Father he is,” Ron mutters, Harry chuckles, Hermione thwacks him on the arm.

“Is this what you’ve been so upset about?” Harry shakes his head.

“No, but…I trust you guys more than anything, you know that, right?”  They nod, “Do you trust me the same?”  Again they nod, Harry nods, “There are some things you don’t know about me, things _I_ didn’t know until a couple of weeks ago.”

“What?”

“Sirius Black is my Father.”

_Five minutes later_ _…_

“Okay but, I don’t understand.  Why the lie?  Why tell everyone your Aunt and Uncle are your parents?” Hermione questions, Harry shrugs.

“I don’t know.  Jamie doesn’t remember.  She was three at the time, it’s not exactly surprising.”

“And Black is innocent?” Ron asks, Harry nods, “Then who’s guilty?”

“Peter Pettigrew apparently.”

“But I thought he died?” Hermione asks.

“So did everyone else.  But I saw his name on the map, before Jamie even told me.  He’s alive, I went to look for him but he wasn’t there.  I thought the map had just stuffed up until Jamie explained everything.”

“Should we mention it to Professor Lupin?”

“I did when he took the map, didn’t know any of this at the time of course, but he knows I saw Pettigrew.”

“Everyday is a bloody adventure with you, isn’t it?” Ron comments after a moment of silence, the three laugh together, and Harry thinks maybe things aren’t so bad after all.

Hermione is concerned though.  She now knows what’s been bothering Harry, but what about Ron?  He’s different, calmer, more focused and serious.  She asked him about it, but all he said was his parents fought a war to keep he and his siblings safe, the least he can do is try his hardest in the life they gave him.  She doesn’t understand where this has come from, but she worries about where it is going.

 

 

“Find Pettigrew yet?  Black’s getting antsy,” Draco tells his cousin quietly, she looks at him in surprise.

“You’ve actually been spending time with him?”

“When I can.  Keeps him from breaking into the school with a _knife_.” Jamie sighs, “I’ve been bringing him food, sometimes I stay and eat with him.  Sometimes he talks a bit, sometimes it’s even coherent, but sometimes he also doesn’t even recognise he has company.  He usually curls up in a corner in his dog form and whimpers when it’s days like that.  Still, he’s getting better at conversation.  Should he be found and arrested, he might even have the capability to plead innocence instead of screaming or laughing or trying to bite anyone.  By the way, your crazy-arse uncle bit me the other day.”  She chuckles slightly, then grows more serious.

“Thank you, Dragon, truly.” Draco nods.

“Anything for family.”

It’s quite possible the most vulnerable thing she’s ever heard him say.  Maybe her Uncle Padfoot has been helping him in some way too.

 

“Dad?” Jamie asks timidly as she stands in the doorway to his office, Remus looks up from his work and smiles, “Are you busy?”

“Never too busy to talk to you, baby girl.” She smiles and walks in, taking a seat at his desk, “Is something bothering you?” He asks when she does nothing but fiddle with the sleeve of her shirt.

“Fred, George, and I found the map five years ago in Filch’s office,” Jamie tells him, he doesn’t seem surprised, “It spoke to us.”  He seems a little surprised by this.

“It spoke to you?” She nods, “I don’t recall charming it to do that…It was supposed to insult Severus but…hmm.” He furrows his brows, looking thoroughly perplexed.  Jamie thinks he looks adorable but decides to tease him for it with big bad wolf comments later.

“We were trying to open it, it was helping us out by showing us small parts when we were getting close to the phrase.  We had ‘I swear’ but didn’t know what else.  So I had them keep saying I swear, it showed us different parts and we saw enough by repeating the phrase to work out it was a map,” Jamie tells him, he seems impressed.

“How ingenuitive, well done Jamie.” She blushes slightly.

“Thank you, anyway, after we realised what it was, we asked it directly to show us the map and that’s when it started talking.  It asked who was trying to access it, we gave it our names and –”

“And it started talking to you,” Remus guesses, she nods, “Yes, that doesn’t surprise me.  It wasn’t meant to do that but it’s our magical imprint in the paper so it can…not think for itself so much as anticipate how we would have reacted to things and behaves accordingly.  Had a young me heard that name, I most certainly would have responded.”

“Well, anyway, the way it spoke about you…it was like you were a totally different person.  I wasn’t convinced it was really you for a long time.  It suggested once that I tell you I found a loose frog in the castle and no one could work out where it came from.” Remus chuckles, “Then we found that room with the stuff.  In a notebook someone had wrote down a bunch of ideas surrounding a prank involving the duplicating frogs.  We thought that was a more fun way to go about things than simply asking a question.” Remus smiles, looking highly amused, but it’s tinged with sadness, “Dad, what happened to you?” Remus’ smile turns very sad very suddenly and Jamie immediately regrets asking.

“Have I ever told you how I met your mother?” Jamie might not have been expecting him to deflect the conversation as he normally would, but she sure as hell wasn’t expecting _that_.

“You haven’t even told me her name.” Remus nods.

“Her name was Bella Black.  She’s Sirius’ cousin.  When they were little they never got along, see, her parents were awful and, for reasons of self-preservation, she created a sort of façade around herself that protected her from her parents’ anger.  This façade appeared rather insane, so Sirius tended to avoid her.  In our first year here, your Daddle upset your Aunt Lily.  I went to confront him about it-”

“You hate confrontation,” Jamie comments, looking confused but intrigued, Remus smiles gently.

“I was a different man back then.  Or, boy, as it were.  Anyway, when I went to confront him, your Uncle Lu, Aunt Cissa, and your Mother were with him.”  Remus’ voice catches slightly on the word ‘mother’, so rarely used in conjunction with Jamie, “I hexed the crap out of him, not literally though we did create a spell for that a few years later.  We thought it would be funny but it was completely disgusting…anyway.  I threatened all of them, Bella, crazy as she was pretending to be, decided this was rather attractive and snogged me.”

“What?” Jamie asks, laughing slightly in surprise, Remus smiles fondly and for once, Jamie can’t see a hint of sadness.

“Yes, it was an interesting first reaction.  Sirius freaked out when we spoke next, Severus teased me for it for days.  She followed me around a bit until I agreed to go on a picnic with her.  It was then that I saw the truth, that she wasn’t crazy, just scared.”

“You two got together in _first_ year, and ended up growing up to have a child together?” Remus chuckles slightly.

“It wasn’t quite the one and only situation you’re thinking of.  We were together for two and a half years, I think.  Then her crazy parents got involved and we broke up for…about the same length of time I believe.  She dated someone else, I dated someone else, but then we managed to stop what her parents were doing.  We got back together and remained together for three years, during which time you were born.”

“So what went wrong?” Remus’ expression grows pained once more.

“A spell, a curse, really.  Voldemort’s followers had gotten hold of a very dangerous spell and cursed her with it.  Sirius tried to undo it but, in doing so, he shattered her mind.”

“Oh Dad…” Remus smiles unconvincingly at her, tears in his eyes.

“I was captured by Death Eaters that day and held prisoner for…quite some time.  When I came back I found that I just…couldn’t be the man I once was.  I couldn’t find a reason to laugh, or any motivation to mess around as we had.  It just all seemed so impossibly difficult because how could I be happy when it wasn’t with her?”

“I never realised you love her so much,” Jamie admits, Remus nods.

“I don’t, really, not anymore.  I remember loving her but I haven’t been able to feel it in a long time.  I tried to get better, but after the war was over, it broke everything I had left.  It wasn’t until Severus and I got together that I felt as though I could maybe keep functioning, even if I would never be whole again.  Things got better, bit by bit.  Your brothers helped with that a lot, as did all the others.  As did you.  If it weren’t for you needing me in the beginning, I probably would have utterly lost my mind.” Jamie feels a tear escape her eye.

“And then Sevrin went nuts on you too.” Remus feels tears in his own eyes as he nods.

Jamie debates whether to mention her Uncle Padfoot’s innocence or not, but for the first time she is worried she’s wrong.  If she gives him hope and he loses it, loses him, will it be the last straw?  Jamie walks over and hugs her Father.

“You know I’d do anything for you, right?” Remus hugs her back, nodding.

“And I you, Baby Girl.”

 

Remus is quite happy with how his exam goes, the students sure seemed entertained.  He can’t help but feel if it weren’t for his Lycanthropy to worry about, his Boggart might very well have been the same as Hermione’s at her age.  Then again, his life has never exactly been free of horror…but anyway, his students do well.  He can’t wait for the year to be over, in all honesty, so that he can tell Del all about how her son is doing.  Then there’s his own daughter, he’s so proud of her.  Honestly, he was expecting more grief from her and the Weasley twins, he thinks if it were any other year he might have gotten it, but Jamie’s, understandably, had a lot on her mind since the events of the summer.  He’s glad they talked when they did.  It seems as though a bridge that had broken between them was repaired and suddenly he found himself as close with his daughter as ever.  He’s filled with pride at the person he gets to know she is.

 

The evening of Buckbeak’s execution, Remus watches the map, planning to keep an eye on the Golden Trio.  He knows they’ll go down to see Hagrid.  The Marauders would have, after all, were they in this position.

A while after the three go down, they start heading back, only they aren’t alone.

“What the ever living _shit_?!  PETER?!” He sees a dot, Sirius Black, heading towards them, watching it like a horror movie and knowing he’d never make it there before Sirius does, “Dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT!”  he sees the direction Sirius pulls them in and jumps up, sprinting out of his office as fast as his Lycanthropic muscles can take him.  Suddenly, his feet aren’t hitting the ground anymore, _Holy shit I_ _’_ _m flying again!_ He realises with a sudden euphoria, but it’s quickly replaced with immense worry.

As soon as he’s close to the tree he drops to the ground, casts immobulus on the tree, and rushes into the tunnel.

By the time he arrives, well, it’s certainly an interesting scene to find.   Ron’s leaning against a wall, looking calm, Miss Granger is pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, and Harry appears to be lecturing Sirius.

“… _ask_ instead of grabbing one of my _best friends_ by the leg and breaking it!”  Sirius sits on the floor, the potter cat on his lap, as he glances sheepishly to Ron.  Hold on, Potter cat?  Where in the hell…? _Forget the bloody cat!_ He tells himself.

“Um…” Remus states stupidly, all occupants of the room turn to him, Harry stepping in front of Sirius defensively, Remus raises his hands in surrender.

“He’s innocent, Professor,” Harry tells him sternly, Remus’ eyes flick between Harry and Sirius.

“Where is he?” Sirius slowly points to Ron who seems confused, “You switched without telling me, right?” Sirius nods, Remus feels relief fill him, pocketing his wand and pushing past Harry to pull Sirius to his feet, embracing him tightly.

“We have to get him,” Sirius tells Remus, sounding a tad deranged.

“Get who?” Miss Granger asks, Remus sighs.

“Peter Pettigrew.”

“He’s not in here,” Harry tells them, Remus clears his throat.

“Peter Pettigrew is an Animagus.”  The three kids blink at him.

Remus goes on to explain, along with Sirius, who exactly Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs were.

It’s difficult, when Sirius continues to throw in his wish to commit murder every few minutes, Remus supposes twelve years in Azkaban would have anyone forgetting proper social etiquette.  The kids seem to be of the same impression since they largely ignore it. _Twelve years, innocent._ Remus shakes the thoughts from his head as he explains the trick Sirius tried to play on him.

“Serves him right…” Sirius begins with a sneer, Remus turns to look at him harshly.

“Sirius, shut it. The point is, Sirius told Severus how to get passed the whomping willow, tricked him into coming in, which I still don’t have a clear idea on how exactly, by the way Padfoot.” Sirius waves him off, Remus decides to deal with it later, “James went and saved him before he got hurt, at great risk to his life.  Dumbledore made sure it stayed quiet and no one got expelled, but from then on…things were different.”

“So, that’s why Snape doesn’t like you, because he thought you were in on the joke?  How on Earth did you two end up married?” Harry asks incredulously, Sirius snaps round to look at Remus.

“You _married_ that greasy git?!” Despite everything, Ron looks extremely amused by that statement, Remus sighs.

“This really isn’t the point Padfoot.”

“Perhaps it should be!” Remus glares at him, because of course this is the only thing more important to him than his wish to commit murder.

“Is this why your marriage is falling apart?” Harry asks, ignoring the entire interaction, Remus sighs again, rubbing at his forehead.  Hermione swats her friend for the insensitive question.

“No,” A voice comes from behind them, Severus pulls off the invisibility cloak, wand pointing at Remus.

Hermione screams, Sirius leaps to his feet, Harry jumps, Remus meets Severus’ eyes, unsure what exactly is about to take place.

“I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow,” Severus says, throwing the cloak aside, “Very useful, Potter, I thank you…”  He seems slightly breathless, but more than anything appears angry, “You’re wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here?  I’ve just been to your office, Re.  You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I brought a gobletful along.  And very lucky I did…lucky for me, I mean.  Lying on your desk was a certain map.  One glance told me all I needed to know, I saw you running along this passage-way and out of sight.”

“Severus –” Remus begins, but Severus speaks over him.

“I thought we had an agreement regarding his capture,” He says coldly as he points his free hand at Sirius, “I knew you knew more than you were saying, but I never fathomed you were _actually_ hiding him!  Here, of all places!”

“Severus, you’re making a mistake,” Remus tells him urgently, “You haven’t heard everything, I can explain, Sirius is not here to kill Harry –”

“THEN WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON HERE REMUS?!” Severus yells at him.

“HE’S AN ANIMAGUS!” Severus freezes, nonplussed, “They all were.”

“I swear to god Remus…” Severus says, trailing off as he puts a hand on his hip and glares at the ground, Remus shrinks in on himself sheepishly, “So when I asked, rather pointedly, how he was getting in, how he escaped, and you said you had no idea…?”

“All right so, that may have been a bit of a lie.”

“A _bit?!_ ”  Remus goes to speak but Severus holds a hand up to silence him.  Looking both pissed off and incredulous.  They all stand in silence for a few moments while Severus processes, “All right, all right.  What’s going on?”

“They switched secret keepers without telling us, Peter betrayed us, escaped in his rat form and hid with the Weasleys, Sirius was framed and thrown into Azkaban but escaped to get the rat from Ron and protect Harry.”  Severus looks confused.

“Are you trying to say you broke out of Azkaban just to get your hands on _Scabbers_?” Severus asks Sirius, “Say Pettigrew could turn into a rat.  There are millions of rats, how’s he supposed to know which one he’s after if he was locked up in Azkaban?” He questions, directing it at Remus.

“You know, Sirius, that’s a fair question,” Remus says tiredly, wishing this were all over as he looks to his old friend with a frown, “How _did_ you find out where he was?” Sirius reaches into his tattered clothing, really just barely held together rags by this point, and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper.  He flattens it out and shows it to the rest of them.  It’s then that Remus notices something.

“Is that my jacket?” He asks, Sirius looks at him guiltily, “Sirius have you been in my damned house!?”

“N-” He stops speaking for a moment, and then nods, “Yes.”  Remus frowns.

“I don’t believe you.  How did you get that jacket?”

“Will you just look at this you daft old sod!?” Sirius demands, shoving the paper at him again, Remus rolls his eyes and looks at it.

He can barely believe his eyes, Peter sits on Ron’s shoulder in the picture, he’s with his family in Egypt.

As Sirius explains how the cat helped him, Remus wonders what the odds are the Potter’s family cat happens to be with Hermione.

Remus tries desperately to make Severus understand what he’s always known is true, what he hates himself for ever briefly doubting.

“Enough of this, there’s one certain way to prove what really happened.  Ron, _give me that rat_.”

And there before him, the man he once considered to be his best friend, his _dead_ best friend, alive, and a traitor for it.

“Well hello Peter,” Remus says nonchalantly, he doesn’t know where the ability to do so has come from, but at this point he’s just fucking going with it, “Long time no see.”

Going through the conversation with Peter, Remus has trouble believing any of this is happening.  Sirius is beside him, Peter is alive, and the fucking _cat_ is here. _I really need to let this thing with the cat go_ _…_

Remus silences Peter with a look when he starts stuttering, Remus wants to hear how Sirius escaped.

“Oh Padfoot,” Remus whispers, unable to truly bear hearing about his friend’s time in Azkaban.

When Sirius talks about Harry flying as well as his Father did, Remus begins to wonder if Sirius remembers that Harry is _his_ son, not James’.

“Believe me,” Sirius begs of Harry, “I never betrayed James and Lily.  I would have _died_ before I betrayed them.”

Harry seems tense, like he wants to speak but can’t get the words out, he nods though.

“Sev?” Remus asks, Severus looks conflicted.

“I’m sorry about our argument.”

“Which one?” He drawls.

“Well, all of them, but the last one about Sirius.  You were right,” Severus tells him, Remus nods, awkwardly.  Whether he was right or not isn’t really the point, and Severus knows it.  Their clashing this year had very little to do with Sirius at all, and at some point they’ll have to deal with that.

“So am I.”

“Still can’t believe you married him,” Sirius mutters.

“They were having a moment!” Granger complains, Severus huffs, Remus chuckling slightly.

“Jamie’s told me about you lot, you know,” Harry tells them, Remus and Severus seem surprised.  Last they knew, Jamie still hadn’t spoken to him, “What she says about you, it doesn’t really match with someone who would make mischief like you used to,” Harry says, Sirius nods.

“She said you don’t have a sense of humour, that you aren’t really one for a lot of laughter.” Remus sighs.

“She was helping you then?”

“Oh, we know that by now,” Sirius tells him, Remus nods.  The jacket had given it away.  It was hardly going to be Blaise or Benni after all.

“There hasn’t been much to laugh about, now can we get back to this please?”  They all look back to the traitor.

It’s when Peter finally admits it that things get out of hand.

“After everything he did…how could you?” Remus asks him, Peter looks at him, and for a moment, Remus sees in him the man he once was.

“Are you any different than he?” Remus looks at him, some mixture between horror and disgust.

“Maybe once that would have made sense but not anymore, I have not been _that_ in a very long time.  He took that from me, LIKE HE TOOK EVERYTHING ELSE!”

“You sold Lily and James to Voldemort.  Do you deny it?”  Peter bursts into tears, Remus thinks he would be crying too if he wasn’t so blasted angry.  His anger has even taken precedence over the exhaustion he’d felt earlier.  Honestly though, he’s aching all over.  Clearly he’s been over doing it.

“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!  DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”

“You should have realised.  If Voldemort didn’t kill you, we would.  Goodbye, Peter.”

“NO!” Harry yells.  Remus purses his lips in irritation.

“Harry, this man-”

“He’s right, Rem,” Severus tells him, “Don’t be like him.”

As Harry convinces them of the decision to turn Peter over rather than allow them to kill him, Remus can’t help but feel like something is wrong within him.  He’s proud, of course he is, but for a moment he felt an anger that was almost enough to have him lash out at Harry.  He puts it out of his mind as he ties Peter up.

 

Walking down the tunnel while chained to two different people is certainly an experience.  Especially when one doesn’t want to go and the other has a broken leg.  Yet the hardest thing for Remus is moving at all, he really must be getting old.  Still, he feels too dazed about the whole thing to really give it much thought.  He just needs to get Peter to the castle.  He needs to free Sirius.  And by hell he needs to talk with his husband.

Then the clouds part and moonlight falls down.  Remus hasn’t even looked up yet when he feels himself go rigid.  He has just enough time to see the moon, feel the familiar calm, and then the pain begins.

It’s all he knows, he groans and moans, but he learnt long ago to feel such intense pain without screaming.  Trixie taught him how to do that.

Moony looks around, unable to believe himself free.  He’s been so constrained for so long, so trapped.  He feels the teeth in his neck and shakes off his attacker, unsurprised to see Padfoot, his pack member.  If it were to be anyone, it _would_ be Siri.  It always is.  They fight, because they never have before, because Moony has been trapped too long to be sad anymore.  Moony wants revenge, he wants blood.

But Moony can smell cubs here, smell his Pack’s cubs, two of them, and another, fainter, older scent.  A third, a fourth, and a fifth had been here recently.  No one will hurt his cubs, certainly not his packmate, certainly not the one who keeps hurting him.

He runs off into the forest, attempting to lure the dog away.  It works, he hears the dog run after him, but then there’s _cold_ , and _evil_ , and Moony is _afraid_.  He runs, he runs and he runs and he runs.

 

Hours later, Remus awakens deep within the forest.  He takes one look around, thinks back on the brief flashes of memory he has of last night, and feels his eyes go wide.

“Oh shit!”  He takes off at a run towards the castle.  It’s not until he’s about to leave the forest again that he realises he’s starkers.

Thankfully, he finds his ripped and shredded clothes, remembering that the cloak is in the pocket.  It’s in one piece, so he puts it around himself and sneaks to his office where he has a spare change of clothes.  After that he heads straight to Dumbledore’s office, knowing everything will be all over now and he’ll have to play catch up.

“Ah, Remus, I was wondering when you would return,” Albus states cheerily as he enters the room.

“Are the children okay?  Is Severus?  What happened with Sirius? Did they get Peter?” Albus seems rather pleased, Remus doesn’t know if that’s a good sign or not.

“The children are fine, as is your Husband.  Well, that may be overstating, he’s a tad upset.  Which may be understating it.  Actually, the Minister for Magic may be under the impression that your Husband is a bit unbalanced.” Remus sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, wondering what the hell happened.

“To be honest, sir, I’m not sure he’s wrong.” Remus shakes the thoughts away, priorities, “And Sirius, sir?” Again, he looks pleased.

“I’m afraid he’s still believed to be guilty, and Mr Pettigrew got away.” Aaaand there’s his question about what happened answered.  Remus’ heart sinks, but something doesn’t sit right.

“I realise neither of us have a high opinion of the other, but I don’t think you would be this happy if everything went terribly.” Albus chuckles.

“It’s the most mysterious thing, one minute he was locked in Filius’ office, the next he was gone,” He replies, Remus looks at him in confusion, “On an unrelated note, dear Buckbeak appears to have escaped as well.” Remus has absolutely no idea what the hell is happening.

“I think you’d better start at the beginning, sir.” And he does.  Dumbledore tells him everything that happened the night before.  Remus wonders when his life became this way, wonders what his eleven-year-old self would have thought.  Though, sadly, Remus thinks his younger self wouldn’t be too surprised, really.

“There is something else you should be aware of Remus,” Albus tells him, his voice suddenly filled with pity, Remus looks at him in concern, he sighs, “Severus may have…let slip, at breakfast, your condition.”

Remus wishes he was surprised.

 

 

“You have every right to be really damned pissed, but all I ask is that you let me tell you why.” Remus turns in surprise at the sound of his Husband’s voice.  He crosses his arms, leaning back against his desk, not even bothering to hide the tears running down his face.

“Why?” He asks after a moment of thought, Severus takes a breath.

“Everything that’s happened this year…to be honest I can’t explain that.  I got it in my head you’d been helping him because I knew you were hiding things about it from me and-and I don’t know, I’ve been losing my shit.  S-So I can’t give you a why on that.”

“Then what _can_ you give me a why on?” Remus asks, voice breaking several times throughout the sentence.

“Why I told them.  I –”

“I know why.” Severus looks at him in surprised, Remus wipes the tears from his face as he gets up, continuing to pack up his office, “You’re afraid of me.  You have been since that damned trick Sirius played on you.  It makes sense, really, and I can’t believe I didn’t see that before.  Between your tendency to take on your Animagus form around me near a full moon or soon after.  Your behaviour this year, your ‘need to protect the students’.  You were afraid.”  Severus’ face falls, but he makes no move to deny it, “I understand.  This has made it all too obvious how dangerous my being here is.  If you miss a potion or something, you’ll die soon after.  For me, one little mistake and…” Remus sighs, rubbing at his face, “You aren’t the only one who’s realised that, Sev.  I have too.  I’m not mad about that, I’m not.  But…but I can’t forget that this has happened, I can’t forget what your fear made you do.” Severus nods.

“We’re done, this time, aren’t we?” He asks in an emotion-filled whisper.  He had known this was coming, how could it not?  But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“Yeah Sev, we are.” Severus nods, tears running down his face now too.

“Shall we get this over with, then?” He asks, holding out a shaking hand, Remus nods, face filled with pain as he takes Severus’ hand.  A pulse of red runs through their arms, and then it fades.  In the eyes of their laws, their marriage is over.  Just. Like. That.

“I do forgive you Severus, I just can’t forget.”

“I know.  I know.  Re, are-are we still friends?” Remus lets out a breath, tears still running down his face as he nods with a small smile.

“We’ve been through too much not to be.  Besides, always waiting, right?” Both can tell it’s hollow.  It’s true, yes.  They are friends, and likely always will be.  But always waiting?  That died twelve years ago in Godric’s Hollow. 

“Yeah, always.”

 

 

“Dad is it true?  They captured him?” Jamie asks as she and Draco walk into his office.  Remus turns around, glaring at her, she gulps.

“You are both so very beyond grounded.” The two exchange looks.

“He told you?” Draco asks, Remus shakes his head.

“No, of course he didn’t, not you at least and he did try to cover for Jamie.  But thank you for confirming my suspicions.” Draco and Jamie both hang their heads as they realise their mistake, “What on Earth possessed you both to aid a fugitive?!”

“He’s innocent!” Draco exclaims, Jamie smiles at him, he nods once.

“I know,” Remus replies.

“You what?!”

“I know.  I’ve always known.”

“Oh…” Draco says awkwardly.

“Whether or not he is innocent is completely beside the point.”

“It’s not though!  I knew he was innocent when he came to m…e…” Remus nods.

“When?”

“Two days after Dora came by the house I was in the park when a dog approached me.  I didn’t know who it was until he transformed.  I didn’t know he was innocent then either, but he proved it to me.  He just wanted help, Dad.”

“What is it exactly that he had you do?” Remus asks, sounding incredulous, Jamie cringes.

“Tell him where Harry was.” Remus’ face goes blank.

“That’s why you were asking, it wasn’t concern for your cousin at all.” Jamie looks to the ground, “And you, you went along with this?” He asks Draco.

“No, he didn’t know until after I’d helped him!”

“I’ve known where he’s been hiding though, I’ve been visiting him and bringing him food,” Draco tells his Uncle, refusing to allow his cousin to go down alone.

“Do you realise how illegal that is?  What if you’d been wrong?  He’s been breaking into the castle and wreaking havoc, waving knives in students faces, how could you not mention that you know where he is?”

“What if you handed him over?” Jamie asks.

“I wouldn’t have.”

“Well we couldn’t have known that,” Draco points out.

“You could have, had you come to me instead of doing this on your own.  I am so disappointed in both of you.  Not only did you risk your lives, but you risked the lives of every single person in this school, not to mention any other innocent people who could have been hurt had you been wrong.” The two look down, ashamed.  Remus shakes his head at them both.

“Are you going to tell my Father?” Draco asks, Remus looks him over seriously for a moment before nodding.

“Yes,” He tells him, Draco seems resigned, “You both need to understand how wrong this could have gone.” They both nod.

“We’re sorry,” They both say, Remus nods.

“Draco, why don’t you head back to your common room, I need to speak with Jamie.”  Draco looks between them nervously, Jamie nods for him to go and he does.

“Look, if this is about your jacke…Dad?” Remus feels tears fall from his eyes again, he wipes them away, “What did Severus do?” Jamie asks harshly, Remus shakes his head.

“It can’t all be blamed on your Daddle.  However, the two of us have decided that it’s for the best if we go back to being friends,” Remus tries to explain delicately, Jamie frowns.

“You’ve gotten a divorce?” Remus nods, “B-But what about me and Benni?  Dad we just lost…I can’t lose one of my Dads too.”  Remus guides her into a seat and kneels in front of her.

“You haven’t Baby Girl.  I promise you, you have not lost him, you never will.  He will always be your Father, just as you will always be his Daughter.  He loves you, and he loves Benni, and nothing that happens between us will ever change how much the two of you mean to him.” Jamie feels tears building in her eyes and doesn’t fight them away.

“H-He’ll be moving out then?” Remus nods, “Is he mad about me hiding Uncle Padfoot?” Remus’ lips quirk slightly.

“Not compared to how mad he was that I did.”  She looks at him in surprise, “Gryffindors are reckless, what do you expect?”

“You are more than just your Hogwarts house,” She tells him, he chuckles, nodding, “I love you Daddy.”  He hugs her close.

“I love you too.”

 

 

“You didn’t tell them,” Hermione says, finding Harry by the lake, Ron with her, “That you know the truth, you didn’t tell them.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“To be honest Hermione, I really don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God it was weird writing Remus calling Bellatrix 'Bella'. It just seemed so wrong...anyway, in case it did to anyone else as well, I thought I'd explain. He doesn't really want his daughter living with the knowledge that her Mother is Bellatrix Lestrange. And sure, she can easily work it out, but she's never gone looking for information about her mother before so he doubts she will now. Still, Bellatrix is a pretty unique name so had he used it she may have out it together and saying her name was Bella and then calling her Trixie would have made it fairly obvious too.


	49. Lay Low

Chapter 46

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Remus returns to his house as soon as he leaves Hogwarts, dropping onto the sofa and spending a good fifteen minutes sobbing.

It’s five minutes into that time that he feels arms around him, he opens his eyes just enough to recognise Lucius’ hair before he collapses against him and finishes off his sobbing session.

“I heard what happened.  Black was innocent?” Lucius asks when he’s calmed, Remus wipes at his face as he nods.

“Yeah.  S-Sorry a-about your sh-shirt.” Lucius waves off his concerns.

“I have a child, worse has been on my clothing than a few tears.” Remus chuckles at that, “Severus told me what he did.  I…may have lost my temper a bit.” Remus looks at him in surprise, “What?” He asks, looking affronted at the disbelief, “I used to turn on the Dark Lord to keep you safe, do you really think I would hesitate to punch Severus in the face?” Remus outright laughs.

 

Lucius stays with him for a few hours, catching up like they haven’t been able to with Remus at Hogwarts.

He’s not all that surprised when, an hour after Lucius leaves, a hoard of teenagers shows up at his house.

“UNCLE REMUS! WHAT HAPPENED?!” Draco literally screams as he throws himself at his Uncle.  Blaise and Pansy right behind him.  Theo, Daphne, Astoria, Vince, and Greg wait back a bit.  Jamie goes into the kitchen and makes snacks.

“Oh, nothing much.”

“We know about you and Severus.  Most of the house revolted against him after he told.” Remus smiles at Blaise, ruffling several heads before they have a chance to duck away.

“Severus did what he believed was best.  He did not tell my secret to hurt me, he did it to protect all of you.”

“That’s bullshit!  We weren’t in danger!” Astoria tells him, he sighs, feeling the effects of the full moon still in his exhaustion.  Everything else that has happened has not helped and Remus is really wondering how he hasn’t just passed out yet.

“Years ago, during our Hogwarts years, Severus and I were good friends.  Us and a large group, composed mostly of Gryffindors but with a few Slytherins thrown into the mix, and a particular Hufflepuff on occasion.  In this group was Severus, James Potter, Lily Potter, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Alice Longbottom, Frank Longbottom, Be-Bella Black, Regulus Black, Sirius Black, on occasion Del Black and Tom Riddle, and me.  A lot happened over the years, but we all more or less stuck together.  Then Reg left us, and not too long after, so did Severus.  The way this happened…it upset all of us, especially him.  But none reacted quite as badly as Sirius did.  He tricked Sev into running into me during a full moon and very nearly killed him.  If it had not been for James I would have killed him and likely been killed myself,” He tells them, all of them listening with rapt attention, Jamie freezing in her search of the pantry to listen in as well.  He’s never spoken so much about the years before the war as he has over the last few days, she’s certainly never heard this story, “Severus knows all too well that things can be perfectly under control one minute, and out of it the next.  Now, he acted out of fear, and it hurt me a lot.  But what would hurt me more is if I harmed someone, or worse.  He did what he did to protect you all because he _knows_ what could happen.  Don’t be too hard on him for that.  He was afraid, but he acted out of what he thought were all of your best interests.”  The group exchange looks for a moment before nodding.

“I um, I suppose I should probably call off the pranking bounty I set on him then,” Draco says awkwardly, everyone looks to him in surprise.

“That was you?” Remus asks, he bites his lip awkwardly as he nods.

“I, um, made a deal, with-with…” Draco looks honestly sick, “ _Weasleys_.”  Gasps of horror from the others fill the room, but Remus is far too bewildered to laugh at them for it, Jamie has no such qualms and laughs, hard, “It was worth it, justice for the crap he gives everyone else and for upsetting Uncle Remus.  But, honestly, this sort of explains quite a bit…” He trails off awkwardly, “I’ll write to the Weaslette and get her to call off her brothers.”

“I don’t know where to start…” Pansy tells him, looking completely out of her depth.

“…she’s not so bad.” They all openly gape at him, “I mean…for a Weasley…she’s probably the only decent one in the lot.”

“Oi!” Jamie calls, “Two of them are my best friends!” She reminds them.

“I think I’m having a stroke…” Remus says, earning confused looks, he sighs, “Muggle thing, don’t worry, point is, wow.  I’m proud of you little Dragon.” Draco beams in pride despite still looking embarrassed.

 

Months later, Severus is back living in Spinner’s End, though he and Remus see each other frequently with Lucius and the others.  Benni has moved back into home, and the rift that seemed to have cemented itself between he and his father disappeared the moment he went to his parents’ place and the boy had flung himself at Remus.  He still won’t speak, Lyall and Hope say he hasn’t said a word all year, but he finds other ways to communicate when necessary and the school has been very good about it all.  Harry has been writing to Jamie when he can, always being sure to get Jamie to say hi to Remus for him which Jamie thinks is just simply adorable.  She’s also really glad she hadn’t completely screwed up any chance of them being family again by saying nothing when he started at Hogwarts.

Remus is sitting, drinking, steadfastly avoiding the newspaper which seemed to constantly churn out the consequences of Severus’ actions as that asshole, Dolores Umbridge, pushes through a new law for Lycanthropes.  Remus is ninety percent sure he went to school with her, doesn’t recall liking her then either.

After going a year without alcohol, he’s taken to drinking less in general, though that’s mainly just because he now only has one income and can’t afford his old intake.  It made him realise how much he _had_ been drinking and he realised rather suddenly why people had been worried about him.  He hears a barking outside and sighs at it as he rubs at his forehead.

Three minutes and fifteen seconds later it still hasn’t stopped, only now it sounds as though it’s right outside his front door.  Remus blinks in surprise, wondering when he started counting again.  It’s been so long he had forgotten he ever did it.

Benoit comes out of his room, looking at Remus questioningly.  Remus sighs, goes over to the door and opens it, nearly dropping to the ground in shock as he sees the big black shaggy dog on his front porch.

“What are you doing here?!” Remus hisses as he ushers the dog inside and shuts the door.  By the time he turns around, Sirius is human again, Benni jolts back in surprise.  Remus pulls his old friend in for a hug that is gratefully returned.

“It is _so_ good to see you Moony,” Sirius tells him, Remus’ breath catches at the name before he hugs Sirius tighter, then, abruptly, he pulls back.

“It’s good to see you too Pads, but what are you doing here?”

“I need to borrow your floo.”

“Wha-uh-yeah okay, sure, go ahead.” Sirius moves easily through the house, remembering where to go.

Remus only hears half the conversation, but it’s enough to set him on edge.  By the time Sirius’ head comes out of the fireplace, Remus is practically vibrating tension and Benni is hugging his Père’s arm nervously.

“ _Harry_ _’_ _s in the Triwizard tournament_?!” Sirius sighs, nodding.  Remus paces, running his hands through his hair and yanking before giving up on that and returning to his drink.

“Didn’t think you were doing that anymore,” Sirius says with a nod to Remus’ drink.

“Wasn’t allowed to while at Hogwarts, so I didn’t.  No such compunctions now.”

“You just…stopped, for a year?”

“I keep telling you, I’m not an alcoholic, I just drink too much.” Sirius shakes his head.

“We can talk about that later, do you know of any way out of the tournament for him? Albus has nothing, says the contract is binding, regardless of whether or not Harry put his name in.” Remus sighs, running a hand over his face.

“No, I know basically nothing about the tournament.  But from what I’ve heard, it’s ironclad.” Sirius sighs, nodding.

“Yes, I thought as much.  Couldn’t hurt to ask.”  Benni tugs on Remus’ sleeve.

“Oh um, Benni, this is your Uncle Padfoot.  He’s an old friend of mine from school,” Remus explains to him in French, knowing that Sirius speaks the language fluently, “Pads, this is my son, Benoit Lunaire Lupin.” Benni waves awkwardly.

“Hi Benoit, it’s nice to meet you,” Sirius says to the boy, he doesn’t respond.  He frowns and walks out of the room, “Is it something I said?”

“He’s gone to grab something.  Benni doesn’t speak,” Remus explains, Sirius raises an eyebrow, he just shakes his head in a silent plea not to ask.

“How old is he?”

“Turns nine in May.”

“Wow, any other kids I should be aware of?” Remus hesitates for a moment, looking at the drawing on the mantle that Jamie had completed during school and put up over the summer.  One of their entire family, them, the Malfoys, the Lupins, all the other kids and their parents, and no Sevrin.  Remus shakes his head, “No, just Benni and Jamie.”  Benoit re-enters the room, handing Remus one of Jamie’s drawings, he nods, “Yes, that Padfoot.”  Remus shows Sirius the drawing Jamie’s done at some point of Prongs and Padfoot in their Animagi forms.  He doesn’t think she remembers what James looks like as a human, but she’s done enough drawings of the Stag over the years that the details seem to have burned into her memory, “Jamie drew it.”

“It’s fantastic, she’s got talent.”  Benni nods enthusiastically, gesturing to all the other pictures around the room.  Sirius looks them all over, impressed with it all.

A moment later, the floo activates. Sirius transforms into Padfoot on instinct, though none are sure if it was in time or not as Severus steps through.

“Sev?”

“Benni, would you give your Dad and I a minute please?” Severus asks after hugging his son in greeting, Benoit nods and leaves the room, “I thought you should know, Harry’s in trouble again.  He’s been entered into the Triwizard tournament.  Everyone thinks he’s done it on purpose but, we both know how much he hates almost dying.  He’ll be okay though.  The new DADA teacher is Mad-Eye,” Severus tells him, Remus’ eyes widen at that.

“I don’t know whether to be relieved or afraid,” He says, the both of them laugh.

“Yes, well.  We’ll all do our best to get him through this.”

“Why can’t you ever show that you care in front of him?” Remus asks him, Severus smirks.

“Well, at this point, he’d think I’m up to something.”

“You’re always up to something, what does it matter if he realises it?”

“Takes the fun out of it.  I better get back, I’ll keep you updated.” Remus nods.

“Thanks, Sev.” Severus grins.

“Of course, can’t have my God-Son almost dying again without sharing the fun of panicking ourselves into old age, right Re?” Remus chuckles as Severus waves, then pauses, “Is that a dog?”  Remus looks at Padfoot, then at Severus, he nods.

“It would appear so, yes.” Severus glares at him.

“I meant, _why_ is there a dog?”

“Why shouldn’t there be?”

“Because you don’t have a dog!”

“Evidence would suggest otherwise.” Severus’ face twitches, then his eyes widen.

“Sirius,” He realises, Sirius yips at him.  Severus sighs shaking his head, muttering to himself about ‘how is this a thing that happens in my life?’ as he floos out.

“How did you two go from the way you were in June, to this?” Sirius asks suddenly, Remus just about jumps out of his skin at there suddenly being a human.

“You are taking years off my life!” Remus says, clutching his heart, “We’re adults, Sirius, we learn to move past our tiffs.”

“So, marriage?” Remus shakes his head, blinking away the sting in his eyes, still fresh after the failed marriage, “What happened?” Remus chuckles, sighing at the same time.

“Different priorities, too much baggage on both sides, too much shared history, take your pick.”  Sirius seems to debate something for a while, Remus looks at him questioningly, Sirius sighs.

“When we were in the shack, he mentioned the two of you having a deal about my capture…” Remus sighs.

“Sirius, you need to know, both of us believed you innocent.  For _twelve years_ , we believed you innocent.  We tried to prove it, Severus looked into the long term effects of exposure to Dementors after it hit the five year mark.  We couldn’t find anything to free you.  It wasn’t until you broke into the tower the first time that we truly considered the possibility you were guilty.  I kept thinking how you would never betray James, but then you tried to break into the tower and I doubted.  Then it occurred to me, it wasn’t James that was the kicker, you would _never_ betray your children.  I tried to convince Sev of that but, I’m not sure it worked.  Still, he was willing to go along with it, then you broke in again and this time you had a knife and were in the dorm.  He stopped believing entirely.  I think at that point we were both behaving a bit hysterically. Me in blindly believing you innocent despite the evidence, and he in anger that you had betrayed two people he loves.  This didn’t occur to me before but, he’d also seen Lily dead in his vision.  It was…far more real, and personal, and vivid to him than others because he knew it would happen and failed to prevent it.  It was at that point he started questioning what I knew, knowing I was keeping something from him.  I told him that I would find you, and if you were guilty, I would hand you over to the Dementors myself.  He said he hoped that was enough.  That was our deal.”  Sirius looks at him, undisguised euphoria on his face despite the tears pouring down.

“You believed I was innocent?”  Remus smiles at him, covering a hand with his own.

“Of course I did.  You’re my best friend, Sirius.  I trust you more than I trust myself, a lot more.  Actually, that isn’t hard all things considered, but you get my point.”  Sirius smiles at him.

“I love you Moony,” He tells him, already knowing what he’ll get in response but saying it anyway.

“I love you too Padfoot, and I am so very glad to have you back, my friend.”  Sirius leans his head on Remus’ shoulder, sighing contently.  He could work with this, on the run, without Harry, but with his Moony.

“…Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are my wife and daughter?” Remus sighs, rubbing at his forehead as he drains the rest of his drink.

“Albus took Hermione and hid her, presumably in the Muggle world, the day everything went down in Godric’s Hollow.  Del…she’s complicated.  She’s got her own life-sentence, only in Muggle Prison.”

“What happened?!”

“Well at first it was public indecency and causing a disturbance, disrupting the peace, that sort of thing.  I don’t know how that escalated to a life-sentence but, she refuses to tell.  Says she’s doing the best thing she can for her children.  I think it has something to do with Albus.” Sirius sighs.

“You think everything has something to do with him.”

“True.”

“So, she’s just in prison, nothing we can do?” Remus shakes his head.

“Sev and I visit her a lot, I think Mr Ollivander went a few times as well.  Nari went frequently for a while but, her brother found out about her visiting a Muggle prison and…I don’t know what happened, but she hasn’t been the same since.  Truthfully, she hasn’t been the same since Tom flipped his shit.  Anyway, I think Filch visits her when he can.”

“Well, at least she gets visitors, right?” Remus looks shifty suddenly, Sirius frowns, “What?” Remus hesitates a moment longer before shaking his head.

“Nothing.  Listen, if you’re lying low here, you should know that I don’t always live here alone with Benni and Jamie.  Blaise stays here a lot, bunch of teenagers pretty much come and go as they please when school isn’t on, their parents aren’t much better.  Lucius comes over a lot more since…Sirius, Narcissa died two years ago.” Sirius’ eyes widen, he blinks a few times and clears his throat.

“Oh.” He clears his throat again, “So why do all these people just come to your house?”

“They worry about me, Lucius is lonely, Blaise’s mother leaves a lot and he stays with u-…with me while that happens.  The rest are usually around to rant about something or because they’re bored.”

“Will they be too suspicious if you were to suddenly have a dog?” Sirius asks, Remus chuckles.

“They’ll either be concerned that I’m _that_ lonely, or happy because a pet would keep me from being lonely.  Oh, your cousin comes by a lot too.”

“Drom?”

“No, Tonk-um, Dora.  She goes by Tonks now, though.” Sirius smiles.

“You two are still close?” Remus chuckles, shaking his head.

“No, we weren’t, at least.  She’s an Auror, was working under Moody, sounds as though she must have finished with him if he’s taken a job at Hogwarts.  Anyway, we met again when Jamie started school, she was a few years above her.  After she graduated she started coming over for tea every now and then, I’m not sure what changed but she just stuck around I guess and now she’s over a lot to see me when Jamie’s at school.”

“All this time I was worried you were miserable and lonely,” Sirius says, awe in his voice and clearly very happy about being wrong, Remus shrugs.

“I had people who wouldn’t let me be.  I still felt it, sometimes, of course.  I had lost all of you, obviously I was miserable and lonely. But life moved on, I had to as well.” Sirius smiles, taking his hand and squeezing it.

“I’m glad you did, Moons.  Honestly, glad.”

 

 

“Sev is freaking out,” Remus says as he drinks coffee and reads the letter he’d gotten, Sirius raises an eyebrow at him in query as Benni looks up from his eggs.

_Remus,_

_Dragons._

_The first task was dragons._

_Four to possibly get, and who gets the most dangerous and aggressive?_

_Harry.  That_ _’_ _s who._

_He fought a fucking dragon._

_And he won._

_How the flying fuck does a fourteen-year-old fight a fucking Hungarian Horntail, steal its egg, and come away unscathed?_

_Who the fuck even is this kid._

_The one digging me an early fucking grave._

_That_ _’_ _s who._

_A fucking dragon._

_ A dragon _ _._

_Sev_

“Think there might’ve been a dragon involved?” Sirius asks, Remus chuckles, shaking his head in bewildered fondness.  Benni pokes Sirius’ arm, sending a look of concern, Sirius pats his hand.

“He’s all right.  If he weren’t, Severus would have come here in person to tell your Dad,” Sirius tells him, Benni nods, going back to his food.

“I’ve never known Severus to swear much, it’s rather disconcerting.”

“I mean really, he’s got a point.  How do you respond calmly to that?  The only reason I’m not freaking out about my Son battling a Dragon is because I didn’t hear about it until he’d won.”

“I imagine Albus did that on purpose.” Sirius nods as he drinks his own coffee.

“If he hadn’t, I’d probably have tried to find a way to battle the thing myself.” Remus chuckles as he nods.

“God, if they _start_ with dragons, where the hell will it end?” The three sit in silence for a few moments, then Sirius finishes off his coffee.

“Thanks for that thought Moony.”

 

An hour after Remus leaves for work, Muggle bookstore near his house in France, and Benni leaves for school, Lucius shows up.  As he walks out of the floo, Sirius turns into Padfoot and runs out to see what he’s doing here.

“Remus?” Lucius calls out, Padfoot trots over to him, “Hi Snuffles, is your owner home, boy?” Lucius asks as he squats down to pet the dog.  Sirius whimpers, hoping to get the message across, Lucius’ eyes widen, “Oh yes, first day of the new job.  I hope that goes well for him.  He could use some good news, I’m worried about him.” Sirius gives him a questioning sort of noise as he nuzzles into the pats, “Oh nothing bad, I always worry about him.  Between Sevrin, the divorce, and the Sirius Black business, I just worry he isn’t doing as well as he pretends to be.  He can be like that, has been the entire time I’ve known him. 

“He told me Sirius is innocent.  Well, actually Severus did, but that’s beside the point.  I feel…almost guilty.  Remus has always thought so, and I tried to talk him out of it.” Sirius growls slightly at him, he sighs, “I know.  I thought I was doing the right thing.  If I’d had even the slightest inkling from my time on…on you-know-who’s side, I’d have told him.  He’s my closest friend, he has been for a very long time, how could I not have told him?  But I didn’t know.

“And Narcissa,” Lucius voice cracks slightly at her name, he closes his eyes for a moment to compose himself as he continues scratching the dog behind the ears, “She wanted to believe he was innocent, I know that.  But after everything, I think she was just too scared to be proven wrong.  Now she’ll never know.  I hope he knows that, despite previous actions and words, she really did think the world of him.  All she ever wanted was to be safe, to have her family safe, and he wanted the family safe as well.

“He doesn’t know everything, though I’m sure he thinks he does.  Doesn’t know that Narcissa tried to help her sister when she was under the Imperius curse, he doesn’t know how hard the three of us fought against you-know-who when we first met him.  He doesn’t know we didn’t want to join him, that all we wanted was to be far away from it all.  He doesn’t know that her first instinct upon laying down terms was to protect her sister.  But instead she protected his little brother as best she could, because no one else could be around to do so.  He doesn’t know that the moment Reg found this out he used it to his advantage, doesn’t know that’s why he turned on you-know-who.

“He doesn’t know how much it would mean to her to have him know she wasn’t like her parents, that she cared for him, and she was so proud of her younger cousin for standing up for what he believed in while she was always too scared to.

“And Remus, I know he is rather fond of Sirius, more so than the man knows.  I remember, once, years ago, Remus admitted to me that he knew of Sirius’ feelings for him.  He thought it was just a passing fancy, despite having been around for five years.  He never said anything, he thought his friend deserved better than him.  Never admitted to having feelings for him, told me he’d very pointedly not thought about it.  But I can see how much he cares, even after everything, what he wants most is for Sirius to be safe and happy.”  Lucius sighs, sitting down properly and ruffling the dog’s fur, “He asked me to help prove his innocence, so I’ve been looking for Pettigrew but, I haven’t had much luck.  Severus is concerned about the long term effects of Dementors.  Apparently the two of them looked into it many years ago and found that sometimes when they drain the happiness from a being, the memories go with it. I imagine there will be quite a few holes that Sirius isn’t aware of, no doubt they’ll be fairly obvious to Remus once he’s able to spend some time with him.

“And Merlin, I hope that’s soon.” Lucius sighs, looking at the dog, “I haven’t mentioned this to anyone, but I’m afraid.  See, the truth is, I’m an empath.  It’s not exactly something I advertise.  It makes people uncomfortable.  It makes me more susceptible to my own emotions as well as feeling other peoples’, that’s why empath’s feelings tend to go to the extreme.  After Narcissa, I made a horrible mistake.  If it weren’t for Draco, a lot of innocent people would be dead.  He’s an empath too you see, I imagine it’s most of the struggle between he and young Mr Potter.  Things went badly for them at the beginning and now Draco’s just feeling all the aggressiveness and defensiveness of everyone involved every time there’s a confrontation. 

“It used to happen to me in school, being in Slytherin perhaps didn’t help too much with that.  Though I think, honestly, emotions probably run higher in Gryffindor so I imagine that would have been worse.  My point is, it’s not only my emotions and other people’s that I feel.  Sometimes I get a feel for…I don’t even know how to describe it.  But something bad is coming, and I’m afraid.  I don’t want Draco in danger, and for Salazar’s sake, I don’t want another war.  I just want everyone to be safe.  That was the only thing I agreed with you-know-who on.  Fraternization with Muggles is dangerous.  If they find out about us, they’ll hunt us, and there will be a great war, and I think everyone underestimates how much of a fight they’ll put up.  Children deserve better than that, the one thing Narcissa was always very strong on, once argued with you-know-who to his face about it, was that children should be protected and looked after like she and her siblings never were.

“I just don’t know what to do.  Which is probably why I’m venting to my friend’s dog.  I am completely hopeless.  Though really, it’s ridiculously difficult to have a serious conversation with a person when you’re an empath.  Even with blocks like mine.  Emotions usually run high and such.  But dog’s feel differently, it’s quieter and easier.”  Lucius sighs again, standing up, “You won’t tell anyone any of this, right Snuffles?” Sirius barks once, “Good boy,” He says with one final pat, he goes to leave when he sees something curious, “Why are there two used coffee mugs?” Sirius’ tail stops wagging, Lucius shakes his head, “Tonks must have been over again.”  With that he floos away.

Sirius turns back into a human and takes a seat, thinking over everything he just heard.

Maybe Remus had been right about him after all.

 

“Psst, Draco.”  Draco turns to see Ginny Weasley down a corridor from him, she gestures him over and he goes.

“Weaslette,” He greets succinctly.

“You know that favour you owe me?” Draco sighs, nodding, “I need you to insult Harry in the Great Hall, loud enough for everyone to hear.” Draco frowns.

“You want me to what?”

“Insult him, about being stupidly brave and Gryffindor-y and such.  You know, always needing the spotlight, saving the school numerous times wasn’t enough, you’ve got to go and be the hero again sort of thing.” Draco looks at her incredulously, “Come on, you owe me.” He sighs and nods.

“All right, I shall go and insult my nemesis in front of everyone.”

 

“Oi, Potter!” Draco calls as he enters the hall, the boy in question still walking sullenly towards the Gryffindor table.

“What do you want Malfoy?” He asks despondently.

“Well this all just figures doesn’t it?  Can’t help but be in the spotlight,” Draco tells him, Potter rolls his eyes, “Really, could you _be_ more of a Gryffindor?  Saving the school a few times doesn’t get you enough attention, does it?  No, you’ve got to be the hero again, in a competition you’re too young to enter.  Honestly, Gryffindor recklessness at it’s finest, never thinking things through, just rushing in to save the day,” Draco tells him harshly, the boy’s shoulders drooping.  Then something odd happens, Weasley steps up beside him.

“Shut your mouth Malfoy!” Even Potter seems surprised, “Coz you’re right, he _has_ saved all of us, twice.  You should be bloody grateful, you’d be dead if it weren’t for him, just like we all would be.”  Draco sneers and storms off to his table, but sees Gryffindor once again accepting Potter and rallying behind him.  He sees Ginny smirking and looking satisfied and realises what just happened.

“Oh that sneaky little git,” Draco mutters to himself.

He’s just been tricked into helping Potter get his friends back.

A look at Jamie shows her to be laughing at him, he decides not to speak to her ever again.

 

“You’re brooding.”

“I am not brooding.”

“You are, you have been for weeks.”

Sirius sighs, tossing the newspaper he’d been reading onto the coffee table.

“Lucius came over while you were at work a few weeks ago, forgot it was your first day.  Anyways, ended up telling me a bunch of stuff, easier to talk to a dog than a person I suppose.  He specifically asked me not to tell anyone and I agreed, so I can’t tell you what he said.  But that’s what I’ve been thinking about.” Sirius hesitates before continuing, “You were right about him though, I should have given him a chance.” Remus chuckles, shaking his head.

“He was a Death Eater, Sirius.  I think it’s for the best that you didn’t.”

“Yeah but…I mean, it’s possible that not all Death Eaters are bad, right?  I mean, they have their reasons.”  Remus sighs, nodding, “That’s why you didn’t want to fight to begin with, right?  Because you knew those reasons.”  Remus nods again, “That can’t have been easy.  I’m sorry that none of us understood.”

“Moody did, he understood that evil has its reasons too.  He also understood that it doesn’t matter, and it didn’t.  Reasons or no, we believed us morally better, else we wouldn’t have been fighting at all.  That had to be enough or we would all have been dead within a week.”  Sirius hums thoughtfully.

“I can’t decide if that makes me feel better or worse about him helping Harry.” Remus laughs, both of them do.

“You know what Padfoot, neither can I.”

 

 

_Remus,_

_I_ _’_ _m growing rather concerned about Harry_ _’_ _s hero-complex._

_He nearly threw the competition, not to mention his life, during the second task._

_Mermaids by the way._

_Still, he_ _’_ _s alive._

_He_ _’_ _s a thief though, stole from my personal stores, I am not impressed._

_We may have had a rather pointed and one-sided conversation about it._

_How_ _’_ _s things on your end?_

_Sev_

“He’s going to get himself killed,” Sirius groans, rubbing a hand over his face in stress.  Benoit silently agreeing as he scribbles in his notebook.  He never lets anyone see what’s in it, but damn are they all curious by now.

“Because of the competition or stealing from Sev?” Sirius chuckles.

“He used to be so harmless and fun to mess with, how the hell did he become such a bitter old man?”

“I’d hardly call thirty-four _old_ Sirius.  Besides, I should think it rather obvious given everything.” Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“I mean, sure, things have sucked but, leading to bullying a bunch of teenagers is a bit much to understand.” Remus gives him a look of concern before a forced smile replaces it.

“True.”

“Albus sent word, thinks your house might be searched again, the Ministry’s getting restless with no word about me.” Remus looks at him, pain clear in his eyes.

“You’re leaving then?”

“For a few weeks, maybe a couple of months, yes.”  Remus swallows and nods.  Sirius throws his arms around him, he holds him close as well.

“I don’t know how I’m going to explain my lack of dog, Lucius was growing rather fond of you.” Sirius chuckles.

“Tell them I’m a furry little problem that ran away,” He suggests, Remus laughs, nodding.  Benoit moves to sit in Sirius’ lap, Sirius hugs the boy close.

“Thank you for helping him,” Benni whispers very quietly into Sirius’ ear, doesn’t mention it, only nods and hugs him again.  Benoit speaks to Sirius sometimes.  Not loudly, not often, and only ever to him.  Sirius doesn’t know why, but he’s been careful to never mention it to Remus.  Benni seems grateful for that.

“Always will.”

 

_Remus,_

_It_ _’_ _s a maze._

_Re, I have a very bad feeling about this._

_Sev_

Remus bites his lip as he blinks at the letter.  His drunkenly sluggish mind taking a moment to interpret the letters.  Some still working part of his mind is glad he had the forethought to have Benni stay with Lucius tonight after he got home from a very bad day.

 _S_ e _V,_

_w_ _h_ _y?_

_R emU S_

Remus nods to himself, proud of his work, before he stumbles over to the owl that delivered the letter and sends his off.  He turns too quickly and falls to the ground, blinking as he sits there and realises what happened, he nods to himself again.

“Mmkay, is bedtime.”

He fails to get up properly, sliding onto the couch as he passes it.

“Orrrr maybe is Sofa t’me.”

He passes out on the couch not long after.

 

When he wakes up, he’s in his bed.  And he feels like shit.  Looking beside him, there’s a small vile on his bedside table with a note in Sev’s handwriting.

_Hangover cure.  Come join us in the kitchen._

Remus isn’t sure if his groan is internal or external, but either way it does nothing to relieve his frustration at having to deal with people. 

He sculls the potion, waits a few seconds for it to take effect, and then goes out to the kitchen.

“Ah, he _is_ alive after all,” Lucius remarks as Remus walks into the room, Severus hands him tea as he enters the room.  Remus takes it with a smile and sits down at the kitchen bench.  He drinks half the tea before looking up at them again, they both seem amused.

“So…why are you both in my house?”  Severus looks amused and concerned as he hands over a piece of paper.  Remus takes it curiously, recognising it as the letter he sent last night, though one look at it has him cringing.

“And to think, I was rather proud of it at the time.”

“Given how much you must have imbibed to make even _you_ that intoxicated, I’m surprised you were able to write at all.  Or live.” Remus sheepishly drinks his tea, avoiding Lucius’ eyes after the man speaks.

“You want to tell us what brought on last night?” Remus looks back up slowly, shifting his gaze between the two in confusion, Lucius looks a step away from rolling his eyes.

“I have not heard of you being like that since school.  Not even after…after everything.  Especially given how well you’ve been doing lately, something had to have set this off. Besides, you knew it was coming or you wouldn’t have sent Benoit to the manor.”  Remus sighs, he’d been hoping to put the incident behind him without anyone finding out, he should be so lucky.

“I went to get Draco’s birthday present, had a very Gryiffindor-y moment, made a foolish mistake, things got out of hand.  Minister Fudge and I sorted it out but, well, it wasn’t an easy day.”

“Does this have something to do with the disturbance in Diagon Alley?” Lucius asks, Remus bites his lip and hesitantly nods.

“What disturbance?” Severus asks, looking between them.

“My, you really have been busy if you haven’t heard.  Several Unforgivables were used during a rather sudden scuffle in the middle of the Alley.  Several things caught fire, and someone ended up in St Mungos.”  They both turn to Remus for an explanation, he sighs, rubbing his forehead.

“I’ve been avoiding public wizarding places since the fiasco last year.  But so much time had passed, and Draco’s present was in Diagon Alley, so I thought it was worth the risk.  Instead of asking for someone else to go and get it, I decided to do so myself.”

“And you were recognised?” Remus nods, both sigh, seeing where this is going.

“They’ll be going to Azkaban, right?” Severus asks, Remus shakes his head, “What? How?”

“Unforgivables can’t be used on _humans_.” Severus gets up, pacing angrily.

“This again.  Which did they use Re?!” He demands, turning to face him again. Remus flinches, wrapping his arms around himself and reminding Severus a lot of what he was like after his capture, that in itself gave it away, “Cruciatus, right?” Remus nods slightly.

“This is why I like Knockturn Alley, it’s safe.”

“You said you and the Minister sorted things out?” Remus nods.

“Whilst they won’t be punished for using the Unforgivables, they still attacked me and I was defending myself.  Apparently my magic is ‘unstable’ or something, so the entire matter was let go but Fudge told me I am no longer allowed to use wandless magic in public.  Also, if there’s a fire, I’m to run ten metres away from it and _then_ call for help because my old Muggle police record got brought up.”

“We should just nuke the fucking Ministry and start over, honestly.  This is such Bullshit, they fucking tortured a man!” Severus complains, Lucius tapping his fingers, thinking intently on something.

“You two are experts in experimental magic, and there’s no one in the world who knows more about every part of werewolf physiology and psychology.  Perhaps you ought to work together and see if you can’t perform the impossible yet again.” The two exchange looks before looking to Lucius.

“Are you suggesting we attempt to find a cure to Lycanthropy?” Lucius nods, a calm expression on his face as though he asked them to find out what the weather would be tomorrow.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s impossible!” Lucius smirks as he stands, clearing his teacup away.

“Well, here’s the thing with impossible things, Gentlemen.  It’s only impossible until you work out how to do it.  Good day,” Lucius says before flooing home, leaving two befuddled people behind.

“…Right, I should get back to school.  Do try not to give yourself liver poisoning while I’m gone, yeah?” Remus huffs at him, he smirks as he floos away.

Remus looks around the room, thinking on Severus’ letter from last night.  He’s learnt to trust his ex’s ‘bad feelings’ over the years, often turning out to be a more passive form of his visions and sense of the future.  Plus, Lucius had mentioned feeling ‘something bad coming’ recently too.  When Benoit steps through the floo into their home, Remus’ decision is made.

“Benni, after school finishes for the year, you and your sister are going to be staying with your grand-parents for a while, all right?” Apparently something in his voice gives away his anxiousness, for Benoit simply nods and appears just as nervous.

 

 

A month later, Harry undertakes his final task.  Remus and Benoit sit by the fireplace, waiting for news.

 

Meanwhile, Severus sits in the stands, waiting for a sight of his God-Son.

The moment he and Cedric appear, the stands are ablaze with celebrations, but something is wrong.  Something is very terribly wrong.

 

Sirius waits by Hagrid’s hutch.  Eventually, Minerva comes down.

“Big black dog he says, madness, honestly.  And there’s a dog here, I’m not even surprised.  Right then, Dumbledore sent me to fet-erm-collect you.” Sirius stands up on all four legs and walks over, waiting for her to lead the way, “This way please.”  They walk towards the castle in silence for a bit, then, “So, have you known Albus long?” Sirius barks once in the affirmative, “I’m talking to a dog.  Sometimes I question why I took this job, I really do.” Sirius whimpers at her, she looks down at him, looking him in the eyes, “Have we met before?  You seem familiar.”  The dog says nothing, Minerva tuts at herself as she continues leading him, “Headmaster Dumbledore shall be with you shortly,” She tells him before leaving, Sirius transforms into his human self and chuckles at her.

 

When Harry and Dumbledore arrive, he knows something has gone terribly wrong.

Harry gives them the barebones of events, refusing to say much more than ‘Pettigrew used my blood to bring Voldemort back from the dead, also, bunch of Death Eaters rejoined him’.

He’s very glad when Albus allows him to stay with Harry, though internally snorts when he assures Madam Pomfrey that he’s ‘well-trained’.  Mainly because Remus would undoubtedly deny him being house-trained as a person let alone as Padfoot.

He growls at Minster Fudge when he implies Harry’s insane and making everything up, but knows that showing himself would only make things worse.  Severus surprises him by showing the Dark Mark, in fact Severus has been surprising him so much he’s beginning to wonder if this is one of those things Malfoy had been talking about and he’s forgetting something that makes it make more sense.

Eventually, Fudge leaves, and Dumbledore gets down to business.

“There is work to be done.  Molly… am I right in thinking that I can count on you and Arthur?”

“Of course you can.  He knows what Fudge is.  It’s Arthur’s fondness for Muggles that’s held him back at the Ministry all these years.  Fudge thinks he lacks proper wizarding pride.”

Sirius listens as Dumbledore sends Bill to his father, Minerva to Hagrid and Madam Maxime, and Poppy to Winky.  His heart thumps in his chest as the reality of everything sets in.  The war is on, he’s back, and Dumbledore is bringing the Order back together.

“And now, it’s time for two of our number to recognise each other for what they are.  Sirius, if you could resume your usual form.” 

As soon as he does so, Molly shrieks.

“Sirius Black!”

“Mum, shut up!” Ron yells, “It’s okay!”

Severus did not panic, nor jump back, but he looks extremely unimpressed.

“I really need to learn to recognise your Animagus form,” He states, Sirius snorts at him.

“I trust you will both be able to lay down old differences and trust each other?” Albus asks, they both look at each other.  Once great friends with far too many years and betrayals between them.  Yet Sirius had trusted Severus to be his Children’s God-Father, though Severus isn’t sure if Sirius remembers that or not.  For his part, Sirius remembers the night in the Shack very vividly, but he also remembers Severus’ letters about Harry to Remus, and that’s enough for him for now.

“Old differences, shmold differences,” Sirius states, holding a hand out for Severus to take, Severus looks at it for a moment before he nods and takes it, shaking his hand.

“What is going on here?!” Molly demands, Sirius looks at her earnestly.

“Molly, I know you think I betrayed the Order, but I didn’t.  I have a feeling we’re all going to get very busy very quickly, so we probably don’t have time for the full explanation right now.  Perhaps one of the children can fill you in, or I’ll explain when I can.  For now, I know I’m asking a lot, but please believe me when I say I did not betray you, any of you.” Molly looks at him hesitantly.

“If it wasn’t you, it was Remus, and I would no longer believe that for a moment.”

“It wasn’t Remus, it was Peter.”

“But all the evidence back then, all signs were pointing to…” Sirius grimaces, scratching his head awkwardly.

“Yes…Remus and I may have made a bit of a rash decision back then.  To be fair though, had we had more time, we’d have caught him.  We were trying to trap him.” Dumbledore and Severus both look at him in surprise, “Three possibilities, we knew it wasn’t either of us, that left Peter.  Then we realised that we were wrong and it could have been others, I was closing in on him when things went down but, I didn’t know the person I was getting close to was him.” Sirius begins looking rather twitchy and uncomfortable like he would rather swim through acid than talk about this any longer.

“How could you be certain it wasn’t either of you?” Albus asks, Sirius smiles gently.

“Trust.” Severus sighs.

“I have so many questions, but I don’t think we have the time,” He states, Albus nods.  Molly walks forward and hugs Sirius.

“I’m glad it wasn’t you.” He smiles and hugs her back, then she frowns and pulls away, “Look at you, you’re skin and bone!”

“Molly!”

“You boys, honestly, never taking care of yourselves, it’s a wonder you haven’t starved.” The room heaves a collective sigh at the instant mothering.

“Now, I have work for each of you.  Fudge’s attitude, though not unexpected, changes everything.  Sirius, I need you to set off at once.  You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher – the old crowd.  Lie low at Lupin’s for a while, I will contact you there.”

“But –” Harry says, not wanting Sirius to leave.

“You’ll see me very soon, Harry, I promise you.  But I must do what I can, you understand, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Harry replies, “Yeah…of course I do.”  Sirius squeezes Harry’s hand before transforming into Padfoot.

“Oh, Sirius, um…when you see Remus…just…be quiet,” Severus tells him, wincing at the vagueness of it but not wanting to get in to what happened in front of the children, “He…was reminded of that ten month vacation.” Sirius’ dog eyes widen before he woofs once and then leaves.

The war had begun.

 


	50. And Again

Chapter 50

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Sirius gets to Remus’ place a few weeks after the return of the Dark Lord.  He lets himself in the door before transforming into Padfoot in case anyone is around.

Walking into the kitchen he sees Lucius Malfoy with Remus and panics, hadn’t Harry said Malfoy had returned to Voldemort?

“He’s back?” Remus asks, Sirius decides not to announce his presence yet, Lucius nods, “Albus told me years ago, after the incident in the school with the Philosopher’s stone, that it hadn’t just been Voldemort and Quirrell’s magic.  He’d sensed Tom as well.  Somehow, he and the non-human spiritous apparition that had possessed him had meshed somewhat.  He thinks, were they to be in a body again, it’s conceivably reversible, but for now, that’s still partially Tom.”

“Pat was right, he really can’t catch a break.” Remus chuckles, then sobers.

“I don’t want to fight him Lucius.  If one of us had tried to help him instead of branding him as the enemy-”

“Remus, he was trying to kill you all.”

“I know, I just, he was our friend, and we turned our backs on him.  I know we didn’t have the time nor ability to help him, I know that.  I just wish I’d done more for him.”

“Well, it’s not too late you know.  You could always join him now.” There’s a beat of silence, then both chuckle.

“The absurdity of that,” Remus says, Lucius nods, still chuckling.

“The train will be arriving soon, I’d best go get Draco.”

“Could you grab Jamie for me?” Remus requests, Lucius nods before leaving, “You can come out now Snuffles.” Sirius trots out and over to him, “What happened?  No one ever sent word about the tournament but I know it went badly.”

“Harry won, Diggory’s dead, Moody spent ten months in a suitcase prison, Voldemort’s returned, Molly knows I’m innocent, Albus told me to get word out to the old crowd and to ‘lie low at Lupin’s’.  Said he’d contact me here.”  Remus nods to him.

“Right, well, don’t be surprised if Blaise turns up at some point,” Remus warns him, Sirius nods.  He hesitates, unsure whether to bring up what he’d overheard.

“Hey Moony, you aren’t going to join Voldemort, are you?” Remus looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Of course I’m not, why on Earth would you think that?”

“Well, I did just walk into a conversation between you and one of the Death Eaters that went back to him that featured heavily the idea of you joining him.” Remus looks at him in irritation.

“He was joking.  Are we really back to you accusing me of joining him?”

“I didn’t mean it like that Moons, I just…I’m freaking out, okay?!”

“Yeah well so am I!  Doesn’t mean I’m going to overhear half a conversation, hear a joke told in bad taste, and then assume my friend is going to join the enemy.”

“All right, all right, I’m sorry.”

“You say that a lot, has it ever occurred to you that you wouldn’t need to if you just stopped being…” Remus trails off.

“Being?”

“Caught.” Sirius looks at him in confusion, notices him looking behind him, and turns around to see a young woman with pink hair standing before him.  Sirius recognises Tonks, he’d seen her when she’d visited Remus, but he’d never seen her in colour before.  Not since she was a child anyway.

“Oops.”  Tonks crosses her arms, a smirk on her face.

“Hello boys.”

“You knew,” Remus says, Tonks nods.

“Dumbledore told me.  Sent me to collect you both,” She tells them, handing Remus a letter.

_We_ _’_ _ve got a place, I_ _’_ _m afraid one of you won_ _’_ _t like it though._

_Go with her._

Remus, instinctually, performs a spell to reveal the author of the note, unsurprised to see it was in fact Albus Dumbledore.

“Sorry, had to be sure,” He tells Tonks as he hands the letter to Sirius, she nods.

“I’d have been worried if you didn’t check it.  So tell me, the murderer I’ve been searching for was here the whole time and you didn’t think to mention it?” Remus shifts awkwardly.

“Not the _whole_ time.” She chuckles.

“Don’t worry Rem, I’m not mad.  I like a man whose loyalty can be counted on,” She tells him with a wink, Remus blushes slightly, Sirius frowns at the interaction, “Hi, I’m Tonks, though I suppose you already know that seeing as you’ve met me before.  You would be my cousin, yes?” Sirius nods, shaking her hand.

“Sirius,” He tells her, she smiles, nodding.

“Come on then, let’s go.”

“Where is it that we’re going, exactly?” Sirius asks her.

“12 Grimmauld Place, I understand you’re familiar with it?” Sirius freezes, Remus looks at him in concern.

“H-How-How did he get that place?” Tonks shrugs.

“The owner offered the use of it.”

“What owner?!  The owner is dead!”

“Whoever inherited it, then, I suppose.”

“Everyone who could have is also dead or gone!”

“Well clearly they weren’t!  I don’t know, did the last owner have a spouse or something it might’ve been left to?” Sirius looks a second away from exploding.

“No!  He was literally just eighteen.”

“Sirius, what is this place?” Remus asks him in concern, Sirius tugs on his hair for a moment before he suddenly turns into Padfoot and runs into the other room.

“Where’s he gone?” Tonks asks, clearly someone had filled her in on the Animagus part.

“To hide under the bed is my guess.  12 Grimmauld Place did you say?” The girl nods, “We can meet you there, if you have other places you need to go, I have to wait for Jamie anyway, and pick up Benni from school.”

“I do, actually.  Will you two be all right?” Remus nods.

“I’ll get him there, thank you.” She nods.

“Oh and, the kids are invited too, for protection,” She adds before leaving, Remus scoffs at the very idea of that before he heads into his bedroom, lowering himself and seeing that yes, yes Sirius had crawled under the bed to hide.

“Padfoot, can you come out here and talk to me please?” Sirius whimpers rather pathetically.  Remus sighs, flattening himself more and shifting until he’s under the bed as well.  The dog moves to rest his head on the side of Remus’, Remus takes this as a sign to put an arm over the dog who leans into him.

A few minutes of quiet whimpering later and the dog seems to have calmed down a little bit.  At least the smell of fear coming off of him has lessened a tad.

“Padfoot?” Sirius returns to his human form, it’s now that Remus realises how afraid he is.

“It’s where I ran away from,” He whispers, refusing to call it a home or a house or anything other than the truth, it was hell.

“It got left to Regulus?” Sirius nods, “A year after everything went down, Sev, Lucius, Narc, and I set the Black Estate on fire.  You know, the one Reg and Sev lived in.  Draco thought it was amazing.  My point is, Reg had left the place to Sev in his will.  Do you think he might have done the same with everything else?”

“I didn’t realise they were that serious,” He admits, Remus shrugs, as much as he can under the bed.

“I don’t know much about what their relationship was like, but I know he was really devastated over losing him.  Even years later, that seemed to haunt him the most out of everything, except maybe James and Lily.”

“And you?” He asks in a careful voice just barely above a whisper, “What haunted you the most?”

Remus knows immediately what it is, but he refuses to think about it.  He won’t admit it exists, not even to himself.

“Mary’s death.  It was the first, it brought me into the war, it…it changed everything.”  Sirius doesn’t seem to believe him, but he nods.

“The moment that made it real.” Remus nods.  Most haunting or not, that was still true.

“You know, Severus and I finished that book.  The one we spent over a decade writing.” Sirius looks at him in surprise.

“What did you call it?” Remus sighs.

“It was Del’s idea,” Remus tells him, “The Boy Who Never Cried Wolf.” Sirius chuckles slightly, nodding.

“She would think of that.  I like it.”

“I have a copy, if you’re interested?” Sirius nods eagerly, “Then we gotta come out from under the bed.” Sirius’ expression falls.

“I…I suppose it _is_ less comfy under here as a human.” Remus shrugs again.

“Wouldn’t know, but this dust is killing my lycanthropic nose.”  Sirius chuckles a bit, but still doesn’t move, “Or we could just leave.”

“What do you mean?”

“We could go, go to Greece or Romania or Australia.  Just leave.” Sirius looks at him, tears in his eyes and something akin to hope.

“Are you suggesting we run away together?  Us, Jamie, Benni, Harry…”

“Yeah, why not?  I never wanted to fight anyway.”

“We could get a house.” Remus nods.

“A dog you and the kids could play with.”

“No way, I am far too territorial.  Only dog in your life, thank you very much.”

“I think that’s more possessive than territorial.”

“I could get another motorbike!”

“Or something considerably safer!”

“You bought me the bike to begin with.”

“I was seventeen, what the hell did I know.  Besides, I didn’t think you’d _actually_ make it fly!” The two laugh about that for a while, it dies rather bitterly.

“We can’t run away, can we?” Remus sighs, shaking his head.

“No, but on the other hand, wherever it is we’re going, I’m sure there’s a bed we could hide under there too.” Sirius looks nervous again.

“And you’ll hide with me?” Remus smiles at him, resting their heads together once more.

“I’ll always be with you, hiding or no.”

 

Fifteen minutes later finds Sirius drinking tea in the kitchen whilst Remus goes to pick up Benni.  The floo activates, Sirius transforming and going to investigate.

“Snuffles, you came back!” Blaise calls as he and Jamie enter the house.  Padfoot barks once, happily, as he runs over and rubs his side against the boy’s legs.  Blaise kneels down, dumping his trunk on the floor to play with Snuffles, Jamie grins at him.  She sits on the ground as well, Padfoot walks over, jumping and putting a paw on either side of her head and hugging her.

“Hello Uncle Padfoot,” She whispers quietly.  He jumps down, yipping in excitement as he runs in circles around them, occasionally rolling over on the floor.  Blaise grabs a toy that he and Benni had gotten for Padfoot, one he plays with more often then he’ll admit, that has a ball and a loop of rope.  Padfoot bites the ball as Blaise grabs the rope and the two play tug of war for a while.

When Remus and Benoit return, it is to see Padfoot biting at the ball on the ground while Jamie and Blaise play chess.

“Oh good, you’re back.  We all need to talk,” Remus says as they walk in.

“What’s going on?” Jamie asks, Remus sighs.

“You and Benoit are going to live with your grandparents.”

“What?!  For how long?”

“I don’t know.”

“No, I don’t want to go!”

“Jamie, Voldemort has just been brought back from the dead, so you don’t get to argue with me when I make a decision for the safety of you and your brother.  You do as I say and that is the end of the discussion.”

“What about Daddle?  What does he have to say about this?” Remus cringes.

“Jamie, Severus’ position in this war is not going to leave him a lot of free time,” He replies carefully.  She doesn’t know he ever sided with Voldemort, and he doesn’t want to be the one to explain how it lead to his current role as a spy.

“Why aren’t you making Blaise go?”

“Because I have no right to take him from his mother, if it were solely up to me, I’d be getting him out of harms way as well.  As it is, I can’t.  What I _can_ do, is make sure the two of you are the hell away from this war.”

“No!  I don’t want to go!”

“DAMMIT JAMIE I HAVE LOST ENOUGH TO THESE DAMNED WARS, I _WILL NOT_ LOSE YOU TOO!” He yells at her, she startles, flinching backwards.  Padfoot trots over, nuzzling Remus’ side comfortingly.  Remus drops a hand to the dog’s head as he sighs, looking entirely exhausted.

“I only came here to say hi so…I’m gonna go…I’ll see you all at some point…” Blaise declares before heading home.  Jamie glares at her Father.

“How exactly is this protecting me?  How can you protect me if I’m not with you?”

“Ja-”

“No, I want to help.”

“You are not joining a war.  You’re seventeen.”

“Exactly, an adult and capable of making my own decisions.”

“Jamie, I was eighteen when I joined this war, it was a mistake.  Please, don’t make the same one.”

“Do you think I’ve forgotten what the last war did to you?” She asks, suddenly looking far older then seventeen, “Do you think I’m not aware how _foul_ and _ugly_ it can get?  I don’t want you to fight this war Dad.  But if you are going to then I am damned well going to be right beside you.”

“And what happens to your brother if we both die in it?” Remus demands harshly, Benoit makes a whimper sort of noise, Sirius transforms into a human and goes over to the ten-year-old.

“Is Hogwarts safe?” Remus frowns.

“I doubt it, honestly.”

“Well that’s where he will be come next year anyway.  What is the point of him being away then?”

“Jamie, _please_ , don’t ask me to make the decision that could very well lead to the death of my children,” Remus begs, tears suddenly filling his eyes, “I can’t lose another child Baby Girl, you have no idea what that was like.” Sirius holds Benoit closer when he tenses, though Sirius has no idea what the hell they’re going on about.  Jamie feels tears falling down her face too.

“No, I don’t.  But I do know what it’s like to lose a parent.  I know what it’s like to lose them both, what it’s like to lose you.  The last war left me all but an orphan for almost a year and I _remember_ it, Dad,” She tells him, “I will not lose you again.  Not without putting up a dammed good fight.  Send Benni to Grandma and Grandpa, but let me come with you.” Remus falls silent as he looks over her.  Benni squirms out of Sirius’ grip and walks out of the room, walking back in with some ribbon.  He ties one end around his wrist, walks over to Remus and ties the other around his father’s, then gives him a very pointed and stubborn look that conveys everything Jamie’s argument just had, and more.  A silent plea ‘Please, don’t leave me again’.

“You obey every single instruction I give you, and should you fail to, even once, you go to your grandparents’ place.  Understood?” He asks them both, they nod, Jamie looking excited at having won, Benni continues looking serious and determined, as though quite prepared to fight for his right to be by his father every step of the fucking way.  Somehow, Remus and Sirius are both 100% sure that he is far more aware of what he’s getting into than Jamie is.  She’s far too cavalier about it all, but Benni?  Benni knows fear.  He knows loss.  He knows what it’s like to be in a situation where he must follow his Father’s instructions or die a very painful death at the hands of someone he loves.  It’s for this reason Remus knows he can trust Benni to do so, but Jamie?  He supposes he’ll always worry about her in a way he never has Benoit.  Benni knows to fight for life, but Jamie has always been far more like her first cousin once removed/Uncle (Sirius), sure she’ll think through every plan a gazillion times, have it down to the smallest amount of extraneous variables possible, and unlike Sirius she will see every consequence that could occur,  the problem is she so consistently decides her task is worth it.  She sees the consequence, but she doesn’t understand what the true magnitude of dealing with it will be.  And that is the difference between the two.  Benoit knows it all too well.  It’s also the biggest difference between this war and the last.  Remus and the others were all kids back then.  They knew what they would face, knew what could happen to all of them, but they could never have imagined what it would really be like.  Remus doesn’t have to imagine anymore.  He _knows_.

“You aren’t joining the Order,” Remus tells Jamie sternly.  She honestly just seems to put that on hold, nodding unconvincingly as she hugs him in thanks.

 

The four of them do, in fact, immediately go and hide away.  Only, they all agreed under the bed would be uncomfortable.  Instead, they spent over an hour taking bits of furniture and blankets and cushions from other rooms while giggling like idiots and built the best blanket fort they could manage in Sirius’ old room.  It took a lot of arguments, a few blueprints even, but they did it.  Best of all, in Remus’ opinion anyway, Sirius found his Father’s old liquor cabinet full.  So Sirius, Benni, and Jamie had a hot chocolate with mini marshmallows, Remus had a bottle of gin, and they hid away in their blanket fort where Jamie sighs at her father in exasperation.

 

“Sirius?  Remus?” They all startle at the voice, none having any idea how long they’ve been in their fort.  They immediately get up, going to head out of the door and going down stairs.

“Molly, hello again,” Remus greets with a smile, Molly takes one look at him and huffs.

“Honestly,” She says, walking down a hallway, “Where’s the kitchen?”

“Down there,” Sirius tells her, pointing in the direction she had been heading.

“PROFESSOR LUPIN!” Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny yell when they see him, he smiles widely.

“You know, I’m not your Professor anymore,” He tells them, Ginny walks up to him, slowly looking him over and then giving him an innocent look.

“Can you help me with my Transfiguration homework?”

“Ginny!” Arthur admonishes, Remus chuckles.

“What are you looking at?”

“Well Professor McGonagall gave me some stuff to work on over the summer…” Ginny and Remus head into the kitchen with Molly as they discuss the work.

“Hiya Rumplesnakeskin,” George greets Jamie who rolls her eyes at their constant snake jokes just because she’s a Slytherin.

“Bonjour Babouin,” She replies, George smirks.

“One day you’ll tell us what our nicknames mean,” Fred tells her.

“Of course I will le Bouffon.”

“Why is she speaking French?” Ron asks.

“She is French,” The twins reply.

“She’s also right here,” Jamie complains as the three walk into the kitchen together, Jamie gesturing for Benoit to follow.

“Arthur,” Sirius greets, Arthur turns to him, looking solemn.

“Sirius, I owe you an apology-”

“No, you don’t.  I understand.” Sirius holds a hand out to him, Arthur nods and shakes it, “You’re a good man, Arthur.”

“So, as it turns out, are you.”

“Hi Sirius,” Hermione says happily, “You’re looking better than the last time we saw you.” Sirius chuckles, nodding.

“I should hope so, I was living in a cave before.  If that’s as good as I normally look then I’m afraid my ego will take a rather big blow.” Hermione laughs at him as he throws an arm over her shoulders, “Come on, best go join the others.”

“Molly, I don’t even _like_ coffee.”  They all hear as they journey down the hallway, Sirius and Arthur sigh while the twins, Ron, and Hermione look confused.

“I don’t care Remus Lupin, I’ll not have you in this state around children!”

“Okay for one, it has never negatively affected my own children, and you are exaggerating so much, it’s not that bad right now, besides, coffee doesn’t _actually_ help with that.” They open the door to Molly standing across the table from him with a pitcher of coffee and an unhappy look, Remus practically ignoring her as he reads through Ginny’s work, and Ginny looking torn between being afraid and being amused.  Jamie rolls her eyes, gives the twins a look that somehow conveys an explanation to the two.

“Then I suppose I’ll just have to make a potion for it.”

“Molly, perhaps we can just agree to leave things here, and not get any worse,” Arthur suggests, speaking rather pointedly on the last remark.  Sirius sighs, jumping in.

“Honestly, we had no idea who was even coming or when.  Or how long we’ve been here.  Remus, how long have we been here?”

“I don’t know, I told you we should’ve installed a clock!”

“We’re wizards Remus, we don’t need a damned clock!”

“If we had one, we’d know how long we’ve been here.”

“If you had thought to bring your wand in, it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

“I keep forgetting I have it.”

“You –”

“That’s enough!” Molly demands, everyone freezes, “Thank you.  Now, breakfast?”

“Why do you have a wand?” Arthur asks Remus who flushes slightly.

“I got banned from doing wandless magic in public by Minister Fudge.”

“You did?” Sirius asks, “Why haven’t you mentioned this, what happened?”

“That would be why I haven’t mentioned it.  I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Remus…”

“Sirius…”

“Remus…”

“Sirius…”

“Re –”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake Sirius, we can keep repeating each other’s name’s for eternity but I’ve grown up with you around, you won’t annoy me into speaking.”

“Is that a challenge?” Remus sighs.

“You’re spelling it wrong, that’s why you’re saying it wrong,” Remus tells Ginny, he corrects her spelling and she nods.

“Cool, McGonagall will be so proud of me when I actually manage this!” She says excitedly.

“Now if only you could brew a potion worth a damn,” George tells her, she glares at him.

“Shut it, Fred.”

“That’s George.” George looks at Remus in surprise.

“How did you…?” Sirius chuckles.

“Hard to get anything past him.”

“He’s always been able to tell us a part, and we used to go out of our way to trick him, too!” Fred complains as he joins his brother and they both take a seat directly across from him.

“If it helps, it took Severus seven years of knowing him before he managed to sneak up on Remus,” Sirius tells them, they seem impressed, Remus huffs.

“He literally charmed his shoes to move silently, I’m sure of it.”

“That’s because of you?!”

“I’m more curious how he hid his scent to be honest.  Beat of his heart, breathing, that sort of thing.”

“You can hear people’s hearts beating?” Ron asks, he and Hermione taking seats now too.

“Of course he can Ron, he’s a werewolf!”

“Really?  Must’ve missed that somehow!” They glare at each other, Ginny rolls her eyes.

“They’ve been like this since school ended.”  Remus seems amused.

“You know, they’ve often reminded me of Sev and James,” He tells Sirius quietly who chuckles into his tea mug.

“But seriously, you can hear people’s heart beats?  Doesn’t that get loud with a lot of people in the room?” Ron asks, Remus fiddles with his mug slightly.

“I only hear it if I listen for it, or a few days around the full moon.  In which case, yes, yes it does.”

“Is it our scent then?”

“Do we smell different?” George and Fred ask, Remus shakes his head.

“It’s not your smell but it is your scent.”

“What’s the difference?” Both ask, Remus shrugs.

“It’s sort of hard to explain.  Fear creates a scent, that’s how dogs and other animals can sense it.  But Fear doesn’t smell.” They both look thoughtful.

“I wonder if there’s a way to mess with it,” They both say at once, then their eyes widen, then they take off.

“Boys!” Sirius calls out after them, they stop and look back, “I don’t know how much this house has been cleared out, but it wasn’t owned by nice people.  Be careful, and if you see anything odd looking, call for one of us first.  Do you understand?” They both nod.

“Yes Mr Black.”

“All right then, off you go.  Oh, and if you see anything that looks like it was owned by an old woman, feel free to burn it.”

“Sirius!” Molly complains as the two boys smirk and rush off again.

“What do I smell like, Professor?” Ginny asks Remus who looks at her in amusement.

“Peaches and stubbornness.”

“Must be my perfume, pretty sure stubbornness was on the ingredients list.”

“Pretty sure it’s on the ingredients list for making teenagers, actually.”

“Like tweed is for making Professors?”

“Oh please, none of the other Professors are as stylish as I am.”

“Maybe so but they also don’t smell like dog, dust, chocolate, and alcohol,” Ginny remarks, Remus chuckles and grimaces, nodding.

“Fair enough.  Wait, did Molly say breakfast?” Everyone nods, “Oh dear.”  He gets up and runs out of the room, over to the floo, and heads home.

“Where’s he gone?”

“Home to check if someone showed up,” Sirius replies, knowing Remus will be worried Blaise showed up over night and no one was there.

 

Remus shows up again a few hours later looking rather…put-out.

“Everything okay?” Sirius asks as Remus takes the seat he pushes out beside him.

“No, no it’s not,” He replies succinctly, looking around the table he sees a few faces he hasn’t in years, but the one beside him sticks out, “Sturgis, it’s good to see you again.”

“And you Remus, how’ve you been?” Sturgis Podmore asks, Remus nods.

“Pretty decent, you?”

“Oh about the same.  I was sorry to hear about your divorce,” Sturgis tells him, Remus nods again.

“Yes, well, everything worked out pretty good in the end I suppose.”

“Why were you all huffing?” Sirius asks him when Arthur grabs Sturgis’ attention.

“Oh, pure-blood elitist mindset, that’s why.  Well, all right, that’s not fair.  One person who happens to be a pureblood, but she just _is_ every stereotype, honestly,” He complains, much to the amusement of those who hear him.

“What happened?”

“Wanda Parkinson.  We usually just try to ignore each other, or she quietly sneers, but for once Corrella was actually present.”

“Who’s Corrella?” Sirius asks, never having been able nor bothered to keep up with these people.

“Corrella Zabini, or whatever her last name happens to be this week.”

“Now that’s hardly nice, Remus,” Molly tells him, though Sirius is fairly certain she agrees and it’s just for the benefit of the children entering the room.

“Nothing about that woman _is_.”

“No surprise there, given who her son is,” Ron comments as they enter the room, the others laugh. Remus goes to open his mouth, but Molly puts a hand up to stop him when Sirius shakes his head slightly at her.

“How about you all explore the house.” Ron begins to protest but Hermione gets the hint and drags him out of the room, Ginny walking over to Remus.

“Unhappy, but not alone,” He answers before she even asks, much to the confusion of her Mother and Sirius. She nods, then follows the others out.

“Where are my children?” Remus asks Sirius.

“Jamie’s with the twins, Benni’s avoiding the twins for reasons unknown to me.”  Remus nods, opening his mouth to speak before he’s interrupted, he makes a mental note to speak with Benoit though.

“Ah, Lupin, good.  We’re all here,” Moody says as he, Albus, and Minerva enter the room.

“Sirius,” Minerva says as she sees him, moving forth and hugging him as he stands.

“See Minnie, I knew you couldn’t resist my charms forever,” He tells her after a moment, she pulls away, swatting him lightly on the chest.

“It’s good to have you back Mr Black,” She tells him before taking her seat at the table. 

Pretty much everyone had done something similar upon first seeing Sirius again, though most were substantially less emotional.  Then Moody just looks him over, nods, and gets to work.

“He likes me, he _really_ likes me,” Sirius tells Remus dramatically, Remus snorts at him before focusing as Albus begins the meeting.

Mostly they spend it trying to gauge how much support Voldemort has this time, how much they have, and how quickly things will go bad.

They are also forced to go through the entire explanation of how it is Sirius is innocent, Peter guilty, and what they know of the night Voldemort attacked Godric’s Hollow.  Apparently, ‘Dumbledore says so, you want to argue with him on it?’ only lasts so long before the answer starts being yes.

“Sirius, I asked you how it is everything pointed to Remus, you said the two of you had planned to trap him.  What did you mean?”

“That was the stupidest damned thing we’ve ever done,” Remus mutters, Sirius scoffs.

“Bloody well is not.  Remember that time we wanted to know what happened if you got a werewolf drunk?  We put a bowl of muggle Vodka in for you instead of water?” Sirius asks him, Remus grimaces.

“No, no I do not.”

“Well…yeah…enough said.”

“What happened?” Bill asks, Molly sighs at him, “I’m curious.”

“He tried to chase after a rabbit and fell into a lake.  Growled at a rock for half an hour.  Ran into three separate trees and a stag, not the usual one around either.  Tried to eat a baby acromantula, then got into a tug of war with me in dog form over said acromantula because hello, venomous.  Ate about a ton of chocolate, still don’t know where that came from.  Tripped down a stair case and smashed a piano.  I’m also pretty certain he attempted to apologise to the piano because he went around and nuzzled every single piece it had broken into.” Everyone just sits in silence, looking between the two as though hoping one of them will announce that’s a joke.

“So not the stupidest thing we’ve done, but still pretty stupid.”

“The idea was that with everyone focused on Remus, it left me open to watch for the spy now that he believed himself safe.  It also meant you all trusted me again, I’d be getting new information, and could track who was getting what.  We found a possibility of it being someone other than the three of us but decided not to mention it to anyone so as not to tip them off.  I was closing in on the spy, but I didn’t realise who exactly it was I was closing in on.”

“How did you know you could trust each other though?” Emmeline asks them, Remus looks amused.

“The only reason I could think of for Sirius to join him is self-preservation.  The same guy who once jumped over the edge of the Astronomy tower in an attempt to catch me before I died.  The man has no self-preservation skills.”

“There were, let’s be honest, quite a few reasons Remus might have joined them,” Sirius admits, “But they were all on our side as well.  Friends, God-Children.  In the end, it all came down to a simple fact.  Remus wants to protect people, he wants to destroy them.  It didn’t make sense.”

“Besides, after Mary died, Peter wasn’t the same, and he’d always been a bit of a coward to begin with.”

“Is everyone now satisfied?” Albus asks, everyone nods.

 

 

Two weeks later, Remus wakes up in the middle of the night to Draco crawling into his bed.  Benoit and Jamie remain in Grimmauld Place at night because Remus thinks it’s safer for them, but he comes home in case Blaise shows up.  Of course, this time it isn’t Blaise.

“It’s all good if I stay here tonight, right?” Draco asks, Remus can see tears glistening in the boy’s eyes despite the dark, Remus simply lifts the covers up.  The boy snuggles against him underneath, Remus wraps his arms around him, staying awake until his God-Son falls asleep.

 

“So, what happened?” Remus asks as he puts pancakes in front of the boy the next morning, Draco slumps, pushing his pancakes around the plate disinterestedly.

“I’m probably not supposed to tell you.  Father said to be careful what I say around you.  Not because he doesn’t trust you, it’s not personal, but you know.  He doesn’t want it to get back to you-know-who that some leak of information could have been from me.” Remus nods.

“Probably a good idea.”

“I just don’t see why he’s supporting him, we both know Father doesn’t like him or agree with him.”

“I’m afraid it’s more complicated than that.  Not supporting him now when he did before would put a very large target on both of your backs.”  Draco scoffs.

“So why’d he join him to begin with then?” Remus sighs, setting down his own plate of pancakes and standing on the other side of the bench from where Draco is sitting.

“I don’t know the exact details of what occurred.  But I know that your parents and Severus battled him, tried to kill him.  They didn’t win, in fact they lost.  Had they not shown such promise during the battle they’d never have survived.  But had a specific mistake not been made, they’d have killed him that night.  It meant that instead of just accepting a follower, he actually _wanted_ them on his side.  So they made a deal with him.  I think all three came to regret that decision later, realising what they had bargained for wasn’t necessarily worth everything they were now being made to do.  But by that point it was too late.  Of course, had they not made the deal, they’d have died.  At seventeen, that’s a pretty strong motivator.  Besides, then you wouldn’t exist, so it’s not all bad.” Draco smiles at him, then deflates again.

“I just wish none of this was happening.” Remus bites his lip while nodding.

“As do I.  Unfortunately, there’s nothing either of us can do about that, not immediately.  If you want my advice, do your best to stay out of it as long as possible.  I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point you do feel the need to join in, but it’s really best if you don’t.  Not because you’re a child or a coward or anything, but because war isn’t made to be fought by good people.  No one comes out innocent.  I know you are a good person, and I don’t want you to lose that.” Draco smiles at him sadly.

“Do you still think Father is a good person?” Remus nods.

“I think he got himself into a bad situation, but I still believe he is good, yes.  The thing is Draco, the world isn’t made out of good and bad people, it’s made of choices.  Your previous decisions may determine the choices you are met with, but they have no bearing on the one you make.  This is why I try so hard to get all of you to believe in second chances, endless chances even.  It doesn’t matter how many bad decisions someone makes, they are _always_ capable of making the right one.” Draco nods, then he frowns and looks thoughtfully at him.

“Do you believe the Dark Lord has it in him to make a good decision?”

“He’s possessed by an entity we don’t understand, so I honestly don’t know.”

“Do you think Potter can make a good decision?” Remus chuckles.

“I know he can be arrogant and rude –”

“Extremely rude, prejudiced, volatile, holds a grudge over literally nothing, has stupid hair –”

“What is your obsession with his hair?”

“It’s stupid!” Remus huffs, shaking his head fondly.

“Yes, all of that, though I was trying to be nice.  But he’s a good kid.  Reminds me a lot of your Uncle Sev actually.  He’s rough around the edges but he’s just defensive and protective and forever unsure of the people around him.  He doesn’t know how to deal with people in general, especially kindness.  Harry hasn’t had an easy life like everyone seems to assume.  I think, were you to watch him closely, without your constant rivalry tinging the view, you’d find a lot of similarities to yourself as well.” Draco is quiet for a while, thinking that over.

“Not the stupid hair though, right?” Remus chuckles, ruffling his hair across the bench, Draco huffs, giving up on complaining about it, “I suppose I should go home.  I’ll see you soon though, right?”

“If I’m ever going to be gone over night, I’ll leave a note.” Draco nods.

“I’ll see you later Uncle Remus,” He says, hugging his God-Father.

“See you later Little Dragon, say hi to your Father for me.”

 

After Draco leaves, Remus gets ready for work.

He’s been working at the same place since a few days after Sirius left, and for once he knows his Lycanthropy isn’t going to ruin it for him.  In fact, it _got_ him the job.

The day after Sirius left to go on the run again, Remus had gotten a letter.

_Mr Lupin,_

_Hi, you don_ _’_ _t know me, but my name is Bridget Kelly._

_I own a store in Knockturn Alley,_ _‘_ _Bridge_ _’_ _s Potion Supplies_ _’_ _._

_Anyway, I have this guy working for me, his wife is very sick, but she_ _’_ _s also a Werewolf.  Now, he needs to care for her constantly, except obviously on a full moon.  He also needs a small amount of income, but can only work on a full moon._

_I_ _’_ _ve decided to hire him, and I thought were I to find someone who can work any time_ but _the full moon, everything would balance out._

_Plus I need another day worker, there_ _’_ _just Flubber and I at the moment._

_If you_ _’_ _re interested in the job, pop by the store.  I_ _’_ _m there from 7:30am to 8:30pm unless we specifically plan to meet at another time._

_Kind Regards,_

_Bridget Kelly_

Sufficed to say, Remus had been shocked.  Seeing as he was also out of a job though, he decided to go find out about it.  After all, a conversation couldn’t hurt, right?

As it turns out, the reason she needed another ‘dayworker’ is because her shop is open 24/7, and she has three Vampires working for her.

It wasn’t pity that had her hiring ‘dark creatures’, it was all about practicality.  If it’s open all the time she’ll be able to cater to a larger amount of people.  Who better to work the nightshift than those who can’t work the day?

She needed someone to work every day but the full moon, who better than a Werewolf?

Her store had a constant ‘help wanted’ sign up, whenever she had too many people for the store, she expanded her horizons.

Beneath the ‘help wanted’ on the sign, stood a small clause that meant to world to so many of her workers.

Help wanted

(All are welcome here)

It’s the same for her store, the same sentence written under the sign denoting the name of her store.

As far as she was concerned, her store was a safety zone for anyone who needed it.  Anyone who had a problem with that, would be asked to leave immediately.  There were no exceptions.

Of course, they were allowed to come back another day, after all, ‘All are welcome here’, but no bigotry was tolerated within the walls of her store and all customers and workers must abide by that.

Despite the name of her shop, it was no longer just the potions supplies store it had started out as.

Inside, there was now also a café, a Tailor/Seamstress, and an old artefacts room.  Nothing was sold from in latter, she bought things for it.  She just loves history and wanted other people to be able to see it as well.

 

“Morning Rem,” Bridget greets as he enters the store, he smiles kindly.

“Good morning, how are you feeling Budgie?” His boss chuckles at the name, as she always does, then shifts in discomfort.  Being seven months pregnant would do that to you.  Though, she’s an incredibly happy pregnant person.  Remus has only known four other people while they were pregnant, and he can barely remember his Mother being pregnant with his brother, but not Molly, Del, nor Alice, had glowed quite as much or seemed constantly chipper.  Of course, he’d only been around for the very beginning of Alice’s, but Frank had told him about her being rather moody.  That was just Bridget though, she’d also gotten little to no morning sickness according to Flubber. Remus had mentioned how lucky she is considering how bad it had been for Del who felt ill for weeks non-stop.

_“_ _Then I suppose I have yet another thing to be thankful for._ _”_

Sometimes her positive attitude had him very frustrated, but she’d just smile and talk him through it.

Flubber is an interesting fellow, Remus had never seen a creature such as xe before.  It certainly isn’t taught at Hogwarts.  Xe seemed to be a mass of some jelly type substance, though xyr outside layer is incredibly tough.  Xyr hands don’t hold the same shape as human’s do which has made xyr working very difficult.  That and people being uncomfortable with how xe looks.  Bridget had met xyr one day, xe’d been going through an incredibly tough time of being unable to care for xyr partner and three kids.  She gave xyr a pair of gloves, which xe put on, that had xyr malleable hands fill them out.  It opened up a world of opportunities, xe was finally able to pick things up and live in the world.  It made Bridget indescribably angry that no measures were taken in their world to make it possible for people like Flubber to live, but as usual, everything is designed for humans.  Flubber had asked Bridget that day how xe could thank her, and her eyes had lit up.  If the world wouldn’t help people, then she would.  So she started her store, and xe had been her first employee.  Remus wasn’t surprised to find out Flubber is a nickname that Bridget had given xyr, xyr real name completely unpronounceable to those with human vocal chords.  Certainly didn’t stop her from trying though.  Remus found it interesting that Flubber’s species have no sexes, they are all the same when it comes to reproduction, they do it on their own.  It’s not rare for them to form a family unit though, after all, caring for children on your own is hard even if you make them that way.

“I’m fine, I love this kid really, but I think it hates kidneys.  It’s certainly beating the snot out of mine.” Remus chuckles as he drops his bag off in the back room and comes to the counter, “So, I was thinking of opening a wand section of the store, what do you think?”

“I think you’d need someone very good with wands to make sure they end up with the right wizard.” Bridget frowns as she nods.

“Don’t suppose you know anyone?” Remus nods.

“I do, but, unfortunately, she’s in prison.”

“Well, that’s not useful,” Bridget comments lightly, Remus chuckles, shaking his head, “Moon’s in two days, how’re you feeling?” Remus shrugs.

“Okay at the moment.”

“Don’t forget –”

“When I leave this afternoon, I’m not to come back until after the full moon when I no longer feel like death.  I know, you tell me every month,” He tells her fondly, she nods.

“Wouldn’t need to if you didn’t keep insisting you’re fine when you aren’t.”  He huffs, but doesn’t deny it.

 

The day goes all right until an hour before Remus needs to leave when Peter Pettigrew walks through the door.

“Remus,” He greets, Remus nods once.

“Peter.”

A month ago, Peter had come in while Remus was working, and Remus had just about eaten the fucker, full moon or no.

Then Bridget had come out, ‘All are welcome here’, she’d said.  He knew he’d lost the argument.  Then the two had kissed and Remus very nearly died of a heart attack, he’d gone to tell her everything, but as it turns out, Peter already had.  Literally everything, things even Remus hadn’t known, he had admitted to.

It took a while, but eventually the two were able to maintain a civilised conversation without Remus growling.  Peter, the little shit, had remained calm the entire time.  As far as he was concerned, he deserved anything that happened to him, and was perfectly content to let Remus eat him should he so desire.  He hadn’t, Remus regrets that now.  Though they were able to talk before, now Peter has raised Voldemort from the dead and returned to him.  That was bound to put a strain on any relationship, let alone one as tenuous as theirs.  Remus really wishes he could turn him in and prove Sirius innocent, he knows how much it would mean to Sirius and to Harry, but he can’t.  He can’t because Bridget is pregnant and too many children have already been raised without parents because of Peter’s past mistakes, Remus can’t bear to be the cause of another.  He’ll find a way to prove Sirius innocent without incriminating Peter, or maybe find some way to hide Peter and have him found guilty without actually being arrested, Remus doesn’t know yet.  But he’s _going_ to work it out.

“Why’d you do it?” Remus asks, Peter frowns at him.

“Bring him back?” Remus shakes his head.

“Join him to begin with.  And yes, bring him back.” Remus had never asked, too afraid of the answer and quite certain it would only make him want to kill him more, but things had changed, “When someone does something totally out of character there is a damned good reason for it.  I have dug and dug deeper into everything and for the life of me, I can’t find yours.”

“He has something I want, I’m not letting him go until I get it.”

“And you don’t care how many people, _innocent_ people, are hurt or killed beforehand?” Peter gives him a look of pity, as though he always knew Remus couldn’t possibly understand.

“No, I really don’t,” He tells him calmly, arms crossed his chest, Remus shakes his head at him, looking rather disgusted.

“I really hope it’s worth all this.” Peter gives a small smile.

“It is to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to worry, the progression of events showing Remus slowly learning to deal with Peter again will be addressed, this interaction was meant to really come out of nowhere as it has for a reason, it’s not just a poorly written thing that’s been thrown in with no explanation 


	51. Always Waiting

Chapter 51

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

“You’re late Mr Lupin,” Minerva tells him as he walks in.

“Sorry Professor,” He replies on impulse.

“Just come in and sit down.”  He does so, Sirius chuckles at him, “Something to share with the rest of us Mr Black?”

“No Professor.”

“Good, then pay attention.”

Minerva continues speaking about their latest Order operations while Sirius tries not to chuckle and hates himself a little on the inside because they’re talking about murder and death and he should not be laughing.  Remus sits beside him getting more and more annoyed at him to the point that he’s barely listening anymore.  Minerva watches it happening, remembering when there was two other parts to the story, followed by an unwanted high-five, a witty retort, and scattered exasperated laughter mixed with a healthy dose of eyerolls.

“Has anyone heard anything about Voldemort’s whereabouts?” Albus asks when Minerva finishes and the atmosphere is sufficiently glum again.  Everyone of the old Order turns to look at Remus who shakes his head.

“They’re being far more careful about what they say to me this time, even the children have been warned to watch their words.  I think that has more to do with making sure they aren’t killed in a fit of rage than wanting to keep information from me, but that’s beside the point.  I do know that no one is staying at the fortress though, Voldemort included.”

“The fortress?” Tonks asks, Remus chuckles awkwardly.

“It’s what we call Corrella Zabini’s place.  Her first husband, Ray, was a Death Eater last time, he’s dead now and she’s taken his place in Voldemort’s ranks.” Moody nods.

“No surprise there.”

“What about her kid?” Sturgis asks.

“What about him?”

“Is he likely to join?”

“Sturgis, he’s fifteen.”

“Reg was fourteen,” Sirius points out, “And at this point he’s probably taking what support he can get.  We shouldn’t discount any of those kids as possible Death Eaters, or may one day be.”

“We can’t discount the possibility of Ron one-day turn coating and becoming a Death Eater, are you going to watch him with suspicion as well?” Sirius sighs.

“Remus, it’s different.  Those kids weren’t raised to be nice people.  Horrible as that is, that’s the truth.  All of them are being exposed to this, and with parents as Death Eaters…I’m just saying, it’s a possibility.” Remus glares at him.

“Every single one of those kids grew up in a better home than you did, and Blaise wasn’t raised by Death Eaters, he was raised by Sev and me.  Also, those kids are perfectly nice people who have been raised to be polite and respectful.”

“Have you seen the way that Malfoy kid treats Harry and his friends?”

“Have you seen the way Harry and his friends treat Draco?” Sirius and Remus glare heatedly at each other, “You’re hearing everything from Harry’s perspective and you’re biased against the family to begin with.  You don’t know everything and you _certainly_ don’t know Draco.  So don’t sit there making accusations about the way those kids have been raised when you weren’t around to see it.  I’ve known them all their entire lives, they are good kids, and whether or not they become Death Eaters will be determined by them and their choices not those of their parents, just like the children in this house.”

“Well maybe you’d know more about Harry if you’d bothered to go _visit_ and _check_ _up_ on him while he was growing up!” Sirius told him harshly.

“AND MAYBE YOU’D KNOW MORE ABOUT HIM HAD YOU STAYED AND LOOKED AFTER HIM INSTEAD OF RUNNING OFF AFTER PETER LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT!” Remus shouts at him, he then reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out a handful of photos.  He finds the one Petunia sent him of Harry’s first day of school, slamming it down onto the table in front of his friend, Sirius looks at it in surprise, “You’re the one that abandoned him Sirius, not me.  I did the best I could to deal with the fall out of your recklessness, as per usual.  I’m sorry that for once I failed to bail you out of it, but do not sit there blaming me for the fact that he grew up alone, and don’t take that out on my God-Son either,” He tells him strongly before sitting back down and quite literally turning his back on him to face the head of the table once more.  Sirius just sits and stares at the photo silently.

“No, sir.  We don’t know where Voldemort is,” Emmeline tells Dumbledore, he nods.

“I trust you two can sort out your issues?  The last thing we need is in-fighting again.” Remus and Sirius nod, though Remus doesn’t turn around to check if Sirius had.

 

“Remus, can we talk?” Sirius asks him, Remus looks at him warily.

“I have to get home, Blaise is there, I’ll be back after the full.” Sirius looks at him nervously before nodding, only to shake his head a moment later.

“This can’t wait.” Remus looks from him to the fireplace and back again, he bites his lip and nods.

“Speak quickly.” Sirius takes a deep breath before he speaks.

“I’ve never understood how you can be friends with those people, but that argument there made me realise.  See, for James, fighting this war was about justice, because how dare he not when innocent people will die and he won’t just because he’s a pureblood.  But more than that, he was protecting muggle-borns.  For him, fighting the war meant protecting Lily.” Remus has no idea where this is going, so he decides to stay quiet and let him speak, “For me, fighting back then was nothing to do with protection, it was about destruction.  It was my chance to destroy every horrible thing I tried so hard to get away from.  Destroy the anger and the hate and the belief that those things are okay so that no one ever has to go through everything I did, and to finally convince myself I’ll never have to go back.  For us, this war is very personal because it is a direct attack on the people we love and everything we believe, losing means we lose ourselves and our homes and our entire way of life.  Everything important to us will cease to be.  It never has been that for you.  For you, it’s just another battle.  Perhaps with higher risks, but no real difference to any other battle you’ve ever fought because you have no real stake in it.  Regardless of who wins or loses, your life won’t get any better or worse, you’ll just keep existing and being hated and feared for it.  You don’t see good and evil here, you see two sides of a war and little difference between them because none of it matters to you, you just want to protect your friends, something you have on both sides.

For me, those people you call friends are trying to protect and enforce the kind of life I still have nightmares about.  Defeating them is defeating the evil I’ve tried to avoid, tried not to be.  To you we are all just people, and I can understand that.  But I need you to understand that this isn’t a battle of people, it is a battle going to the very nature of what we believe to be right.”

“Why fight over that?  Why can’t you just let people be different than you are?  That’s why I hate this so much Sirius, the reasons you are fighting them are the same reasons I get given for why I’m so hated and feared.” Sirius sighs.

“I know, but Remus, we let them live.  We let them go and be horrible people all they like, and they started a war.  Voldemort started a war and they joined him to wipe people out.  They restarted it, for more death and destruction.  We aren’t trying to fight a war, or at least we didn’t plan to.  We are defending ourselves and fighting to survive.”

“Here’s what you aren’t understanding though, a lot of people over there are too.  A lot of people who were in those circles and dragged into this can’t get out and just want to live.  You are standing up for what you believe in, but so are they.”

“Yes, that there, that is my point!” Sirius tells him, Remus looks at him in confusion, “You think it’s stupid.  To fight over what we believe like this, right?” Remus nods, “You think that because neither side holds your beliefs.  You aren’t fighting for what you believe in, you just don’t want to watch your friends die.  _That_ _’_ _s_ why you are so on the fence.  Why you can fight Malfoy one day and drink tea the next, why it isn’t personal.  You don’t believe in what you are fighting for.  But that argument in there, how quickly that escalated, how much you were willing to shout at me in anger to make me shut up and just _listen_ , that was you fighting for what you believe in.  You believe those kids are innocent and good and you were willing to argue with me to make me believe it too.  Now imagine that on a grander scale, if I had started trying to kill them, would you not have defended them with your life, would you not have taken mine?” Remus frowns at him.

“I wouldn’t have needed to take yours Padfoot.  I would have found another way.  I would have disarmed you or something.”

“What if I were so determined that I tore out my own intestine to use it to choke one of them.  If I were willing to die, if nothing you did worked.  Do you see my point?” Remus nods as he continues frowning, “I’m not asking you to pick a side Remus, merely pointing out why you haven’t truly done so.  Things went pear-shaped last time Remus, everything fell apart and the injustice of it being over something so stupid nearly destroyed you.  You need to know what you are fighting for, because you can’t just keep trying to keep everyone you care about alive whilst we attempt to murder each other and avoid accidentally getting you in the process.”

_“_ _He has something I want, I_ _’_ _m not letting him go until I get it._ _”_

_“_ _And you don_ _’_ _t care how many people, innocent people, are hurt or killed beforehand?_ _”_ _Peter gives him a look of pity, as though he always knew Remus couldn_ _’_ _t possibly understand._

_“_ _No, I really don_ _’_ _t,_ _”_ _He tells him calmly, arms crossed his chest, Remus shakes his head at him._

_“_ _I really hope it_ _’_ _s worth all this._ _”_ _Peter gives a small smile._

_“_ _It is to me._ _”_

“How do you decide what’s worth it?” Remus asks.  Maybe this is why he can’t understand, maybe he’s just never felt it before.  Didn’t he once think he’d have done anything for Sirius, would he do this?  Would he wage a war to protect him?  Would he join Voldemort if it would save him?

In a heartbeat.

What does that say about him?  Does he have his priorities wrong?  Remus doesn’t have a strong set of beliefs, not really.  Only that everyone can change.  It’s not exactly something you can fight a war against.  So what is it he’s fighting for?  Sure he’d do it for Sirius or his kids, but he doesn’t need to.  He’s seen before that fighting this war does not equal protecting his friends.  So why is he fighting?

“I look at it this way, if you’d kill your best mate for it, it’s worth it.” Remus looks at Sirius.

“Would you have killed James for it?” Sirius looks at him with a gentle smile.

“By the end of the war, I was fighting for the world my children would grow up in.  For them, yes, yes I would.  That’s what being a parent is, doing anything for your children, as I’m sure you are more than aware.  James would’ve wanted me to as well.  His priority though, it was always and would always have been Lily, possibly even more so than Del.”

“What are you fighting for now?” Remus asks, voice full of emotions he has no hope to identify.

“The chance to have them with me again, and together, and safe.  So ask yourself, not just for this war but in general, what is it that is most important to you, and how can you fight for it?”

“Sirius, if they were so important to you, why did you go after Peter?” Remus asks him, tears in his eyes, Sirius frowns.

“It wasn’t revenge, I wanted to make sure it didn’t happen again.  Recklessness and stupidity really.  I had plenty of time to think it through and realise he was done for anyway.  Leaving Godric’s Hollow without Harry that day is the single biggest mistake I’ve made in my life, and I’ve made a lot.  You know once upon a time, after you and Malfoy had sex and I made a scene about it at breakfast, Mary told me you’d get over it, you always do.  She said ‘Sirius he shouldn’t have to.  Stop hurting him.’ I seem to do that though.  No matter how hard I try not to, I end up hurting someone, I end up hurting you.  I’m sorry.” Remus walks into the fireplace, grabbing the floo powder.

“I forgive you,” He tells him earnestly, he stays long enough to see the smile on Sirius’ face before he floos home.

 

“Hey Remus,” Blaise greets as he walks in, Remus smiles at him.

“Hello Blaise, how was your day?”

“Okay, Pansy came over for a bit, attempted to convince me to make biscuits, but I remembered your rule about not going in the kitchen with someone who has never been in a kitchen unless you’re around.  Though Severus added that it should be someone without a history of Arson that supervises, but I think he was joking.” Remus looks amused.

“Probably not.” The two chuckle.

“How was work and whatever thing I’m not allowed to hear about?”

“Work was good, Flubber’s glove snapped so we had to get a bit creative.  Budgie laughed at us for not just going and buying another one or using a simple reparo.  But hey, it all worked out in the end.  As for the other thing…well it ended interestingly.”

“How so?” Remus sits beside him on the floor with a sigh, his muscles are aching.

“Had a heart to heart with someone that made me realise a few things.”

“What sort of things?”

“I have no idea what I’m fighting for.” Blaise looks at him in confusion.

“…to stop the Dark Lord?” Remus huffs a laugh.

“I’ll tell you a secret, though it isn’t actually a secret.  He used to be a friend of mine, a good friend.”

“Really?” Remus nods, “Then why are you fighting him?”

“I’m not, not really.  It just so happened that the first of my friends to die last time was killed by Death Eaters, so it was against them I rallied.  No real reason for it besides wanting to protect a friend who was already gone.”

“And now you don’t know why you’re fighting at all?”

“I have been fighting them in big and small ways since I was eleven years old, yet somehow among those years I made friends on both sides.  But none of the war means anything to me, I don’t really care who wins, I just don’t want the people I care about to die.  But people I care about are on both sides.” Blaise frowns.

“Well the way I see it, you have one side fighting for change, and another to protect what already is.  Do you like how things are?” Remus shakes his head, “Then fight for change.  And if they fail, or things end up worse, keep fighting.”

“The world won’t ever end up exactly how I want it to, there will always be those who oppose my beliefs, my kind.  Fighting in this way is not the way to bring about change, and it’s not what this is for.  They can spout words about fighting for belief but it’s not true.  They are fighting out of hatred or fear.”

“You once said we should fight for love, doesn’t that mean you should find something you love and hold onto it with everything you have.”

“That isn’t always enough.”

“That’s why war has casualties.  It doesn’t always work.  That’s why you need to be willing to die and do other horrible things for your cause.”

“At what point is it no longer worth it?” Blaise shrugs.

“The point at which you switch sides I guess.  Though, I suppose, you can’t really switch sides if you were never on one.”

“I could never switch sides.” Blaise sits up to look at him.

“Why?”

“Because Sirius is there, I’d never turn on him.  Not unless I was trying to protect you kids.” Blaise looks at him carefully.

“You know, part of being there for someone is supporting their beliefs as well.” Remus frowns in thought before he nods.

“When did you get so wise?” Blaise chuckles.

“With you raising me, what else could I have become?” Remus laughs as he ruffles Blaise’s hair, much to his chagrin.

 

 

The next day, Remus ignores Bridget’s orders to not come in, only he isn’t coming in to work.

“Rem, what are you doing here?” His boss asks, Remus smiles wearily.

“Is Peter here?” Bridget looks at him with suspicion before nodding.

“Back room.  He just got back.”  Remus walks into the back, moving a bit slowly thanks to the full moon tomorrow.

“Remus, I thought you weren’t in today?  Isn’t the full tomorrow?” Remus nods, leaning against a wall in the backroom, across from Peter’s seat at the small table.

“Are you sorry?” Peter frowns at him in confusion, “For betraying us, are you sorry?” Peter sighs.

“I am sorry that it was you guys I betrayed, I’m sorry it was James and Lily who died, and I’m sorry it was Harry that was put at risk.  Am I sorry that I did what I had to?  No, not really, only that I had to do it at all.” Remus nods.

“I…I understand.” Peter looks at him in surprise.

“Y-You what?” Remus swallows harshly.

“Someone said some things to me yesterday that made me realise, anyone is capable of anything if the outcome is something they believe in.  You doing what you did is no different to what any of us did, you just had different priorities.  And…and I _hate_ that they died,” Remus tells him, voice getting choked up as tears fill his eyes, “I _hate_ that you got them killed.  But I believe you wouldn’t have unless you were really sure it was worth it to you.  And I have realised that there are things that could have been done that would have lead to me doing the exact same thing.  I thought you were a coward for turning on us, but you weren’t.  That was your true bravery.” Peter stands, tears streaming down his face as he watches what he never thought would be, “I won’t ever be okay with what you did.  Not ever.  But I understand now, and I think I can move on from it, I think _we_ can.”  Peter walks over to Remus, fast at first, then hesitantly, Remus holds a hand out to him, he takes it, Remus pulls him into a hug.

The two embrace for a long time, tears on their faces as they both get a closure they never dared to believe possible.

After they finally break apart, the two sit at the table together.

“So, you’re going to be a Father,” Remus says, Peter beams proudly and nods, Remus chuckles, wet sounding from the tears he blinks away, “You know, that’s the same look Lucius gave me when he told me Narc was pregnant.” Peter gives him a strange look.

“Weren’t you two seconds away from duelling?” Remus nods, “You two always _have_ had a strange relationship.” The two laugh at that, and it’s almost like old times.  Almost.

 

The day after the full moon, Sirius wakes up and walks into the kitchen to find Remus passed out with his head in his arms on the kitchen table, Molly and Hermione quietly making breakfast, the rest of the Weasleys sat around the table, and Remus’ walking stick leaning against it beside him.

‘Morning,’ Sirius mouths, Hermione smiles and waves.  He points at Remus and raises an eyebrow in question.

‘Came in earlier, think he underestimated how tired he was,’ She mouths very slowly in reply.  He’s quite impressed to have understood it in all honesty, something about her he just seemed to recognise.

“Pa’foo?” Remus murmurs as he wakes up, rubbing his face on his arms briefly before turning his head in Sirius’ general direction and laying it back down.

“Hey buddy, how are you feeling?”

“Like my whole body got broken and reshaped twice in one night.” Sirius chuckles slightly.

“Good night, then?” Remus makes a tired pouty face, still not having opened his eyes.  Sirius walks over, stroking a hand through the other’s hair and making him smile slightly, relaxing under the touch.  Sirius smiles lovingly at him, happy that he can do something so simple and it helps, “How’d you know it was me in the room?” He asks him, Remus nuzzles into his hand slightly.

“Scent, breathing pattern, past experience.”

“Past experience?” Sirius asks in confusion, Remus finally opens his eyes, if blearily, to look at him.

“I feel like shit, where else would you be?” Sirius looks at Remus in the eye, and in that moment he realises, Remus knows.  All the things he’s ever tried to say, everything he’s never managed to, Remus _knows_.  If only he knew what it all meant.

“Too right, my friend.”

“You know, when we’ve proven your innocence, you should write to Phia.  I think she’d like to know the truth,” Remus tells him rather suddenly, Sirius just raises an eyebrow at him, “Anyway, I actually have to be going, I’ll be back in a few hours,” Remus promises before getting up, grabbing his walking stick as he does so, “Only came to check up on the kids and they’re both fine.”

“Much as I love Phia, Remus, I have little interest in writing to someone who won’t write to you.”  Remus looks at him in surprise, Sirius smiles at him, he nods before walking out of the room.

“Hey Pads,” Remus calls out, Sirius swivels round to look at him, “Thank you.”

“I love you Moony,” Sirius tells him earnestly, Remus smiles.

“Love you too, Old Friend,” He says before he leaves.  Sirius feels Molly rubbing at his shoulder.

“I’m sure he’ll get it one day, dear,” She tells him, he chuckles.

“Been twenty-two years already.  It’s fine though, I’m just glad I have him back at all.”  Molly smiles at him in a motherly way.

“You’re in love with Professor Lupin?” Ginny asks, Sirius looks around awkwardly to Molly and Arthur for help.

“For twenty-two years?” Ron adds.

“And he doesn’t _know_?” Hermione finishes.

“That’s terrible,” The twins conclude.

“And pretty adorable,” Jamie chimes as she enters the room, taking a seat beside Fred.

“Why don’t you tell him?” Hermione and Ginny ask, Sirius sighs, burying his face in his hands.

“I’ve tried, several times, more than that even.  You saw what just happened!”

“I think you’re underestimating how thick-headed my Dad is,” Jamie tells him.

“That was _hardly_ a declaration of love anyway,” Hermione tells him.

“Well how would you do it?” Sirius asks rather immaturely, Ron and the twins snigger at Hermione who frowns at him.

“I don’t know, I’ve never been in love.  I have, however, told my friends I love them.  That’s sort of my point, it needs to be different.  Make him understand it’s not the same.”

“I can’t believe I’m being given advice on this from a fifteen-year-old,” He says shaking his head.

“If it’s been twenty-two years then she’s, what, four years older than you were when this started?” Ron points out unhelpfully.

“Don’t you lot have better things to do?  Deal with your own love-lives maybe?”

“They’re miserably alone and unloved,” Fred tells him, both glare at him, “Now now, I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.”

“Well, maybe not Ron,” George adds.

“But there’s a nice bloke out there for you Hermione,” Fred finishes, Hermione goes to say something, hesitates, goes to say something else, hesitates again, and then rather abruptly leaves the room crying.

“What’d we do?” The twins ask, Ron shakes his head.

“I don’t think that had anything to do with you,” He tells them, “Honestly, where is Harry when you need him,” Ron mutters as he goes after her.

“Does she like Harry better or something?” Sirius asks after he’s gone, Ginny shakes her head.

“No, Ron’s just emotionally constipated so Harry’s the one who comforts her.  Though he’s as bad as Ron, he just feels too guilty if he doesn’t at least try.”

Sirius smiles lightly to himself, because for once he doesn’t see James in Harry, he sees his Mother, his real Mother.  Because that there is so Del that it makes Sirius’ heart ache.  He remembers so little of her, really.  He hadn’t noticed until Lucius had mentioned the Dementors taking his happy memories, but he doesn’t even remember their wedding day.  He does know that Del would be so damned proud of her son, of their son.  Damn but he misses her.

Does she miss him too?  Or does she believe he betrayed them?

 

 

“Hey, Snakespeare,” Fred calls, finding her in a room near the front of the house, she turns and looks at him, smiling.

“Bonjour Freddie,” Jamie tells him, “What’s up?” Fred hesitates for a moment, fiddling with his sleeve.

“I was going to wait for a better time before doing this but, well, I don’t want to one day be telling George’s kids that it’s been twenty-two years and I still haven’t mentioned it,” Fred begins, Jamie looks at him in confusion, “Jamie, I’ve never met anyone like you.  I’ve never met anyone who’s as fun and bright and happy, even when you get all angsty and crap about random stuff, you know, as people tend to you.  You just don’t stop smiling at people,” He tells her, “And whenever you’re around, I can’t stop smiling either.  I really like you Jamie, as more than just a friend.  So I was wondering, George and I are going out to pick up presents for Harry from everyone and we’re going to do a late birthday celebration for him.  Tonks is coming to supervise but I was thinking, we could probably sneak off for a bit and have lunch together or something?” Jamie can’t help the smile she feels growing across her face, nor the blush.  She tucks her curly black hair behind her ear and nods.

“I’d like that.”  He grins at her.

“Brillaint.  Hey what is this room anyway?”

“A sitting room I think, maybe a study?  I don’t know.  I was just looking at the family tree.”  Fred joins her properly in the room, “My Mum’s on here somewhere.” Fred looks at her in surprise.

“You’ve never really mentioned her.” Jamie nods.

“I didn’t have anything to mention.  Not until Dad told me some more about her.  She’s in Azkaban, I knew that.  Any mention of her used to set off some serious panic attacks for Dad.” Fred nods, he’d known that, “But apparently the reason things went so terribly is because of a spell that was cast on her that sent her insane, she’s not actually a bad person.” Fred’s eyes widen.

“Wow.”  She nods.

“Her name’s Bella.”

“Want some help looking?” Jamie bites her lip for a moment before nodding.

“I’d like that.”

 

A while of scouring the walls, because the tree is confusing and they can’t work out which end means what and so search the entire room, later Fred calls out to her.

“I think I found her…” Jamie looks over in concern at the trepidation filling his voice, “You’re on here too, you know.” Jamie starts to walk over but Fred walks to her and stops her, “Jamie, I think I know why your Dad doesn’t like talking about it.  If you really want to see, I won’t stop you, that’s not my place.  But you aren’t going to like what you find.”  Jamie frowns.

“Do I look like her?” She asks, Fred looks her over, then thinks back on the face he just saw.

“You have her hair and her nose,” He replies, “High cheek bones.” Jamie nods, then she takes his hand.

“Let’s get out of here.”  He smiles in evident relief, walking her away from the wall.  He doesn’t mention her mother’s full name, nor that she got married.  He also doesn’t mention the branches he saw coming off of Sirius’ name.  He’s not sure why the secrecy, only that if Harry isn’t aware, then he probably isn’t meant to be either.  Maybe the truth will be known one day, but Fred doesn’t think that day is today, and he’s rather content to stay out of it.

 

 

Benoit Lunaire Lupin sits by the window of the bedroom he shares with his sister in Grimmauld Place.  The sister in question is off with her friends, probably doing something they shouldn’t be again, so he sits alone.  He can’t stand Fred and George.  He’s perfectly polite to them because he knows his issues with them have nothing to with them, but the fact remains that he cannot stand being around them.  As he sits he scribbles away in his notebook.  He knows he’s garnered a lot of curiosity by preventing the others from seeing it, and it’s not truly anything super secret, but it’s important to him and it’s private.  He doesn’t know how to explain that to them without talking.  It’s not as though he _tries_ not to talk, he just can’t stand the sound of his own voice anymore.  Even his own thinking voice drives him insane and he wishes he could drown it out, but anyway he’s ever heard of to do so sounds like the exact road his Père went down and ended in him drowning himself in bottle after bottle of alcohol.

Benni would rather hear his thinking voice.

The truth of his notebook though is simple.  As is with most magical twins, Benni and his brother are mentally linked.  It’s not telepathy, they could never hear each other talking, it’s more that they would think the same thing at the same time and always be aware of that.  They’d know what the other is thinking and it would almost be like instinct.  Their emotions would frequently be the same even if they didn’t truly think the same way on something.  At this distance, Benni can’t feel his brother anymore.  Not that he’d want to.  But he can feel echoes, echoes of thought and feeling.  Since Azkaban doesn’t feel like a nice place, and Benni would very much appreciate the nightmares of his brother’s experiences stopping, he’s trying to find a way to destroy the link.  He doesn’t want anything to do with Sevrin, doesn’t want to admit he has a brother, doesn’t want to think on him, and certainly does _not_ want to be mentally linked to the psychopath who flayed his Papa and stabbed his Père several times leaving both of them almost dead.

He was upset, at first, mostly at his parents.  Sure, he was horrified by Sevrin’s actions, but more than that he was angry with his parents.  He hadn’t known his Père is a Werewolf, nor that his Papa is a Zombie.  He’d kept thinking that perhaps if they’d known, if they’d grown up knowing, if his Papa and Père had told them, perhaps Sevrin would not have done what he did.  He was almost glad, well, no, he _was_ glad when the two of them and Jamie went off to Hogwarts.  He had needed desperately to get away and learn to be by himself as he never had been before. 

One day, a good six months after they had left, Benoit woke up after the only night he’s gone since the incident without a nightmare and realised what the nightmares are.  Realised what he’s feeling and seeing in confusing flashes is his brother in Azkaban.  He realised that Sevrin’s actions could not have been prevented by anyone, not even his Père who always protects Benni from everything.  In truth, that was another thing Benni needed to adjust to.  The realisation that there are somethings even his Père can’t save him from.  Benoit knows that had the Aurors not arrived when they did, all three of them would be dead now.  Nothing could take back or alter what had happened, but that morning when he woke up, Benni suddenly knew that his brother was wrong.  Père is not the monster.  Sevrin is.  It was at that moment that Benni couldn’t wait for his parents to get back, at which point he would beg his Père to resign from his post at Hogwarts.  He knew at the time that the request wouldn’t have been at all fair to his Père who finally had a lasting job that he seemed to truly love, but Benni needed him and he knew without a doubt that his Père would far prefer being with Benni to help him and make him feel safe again than at Hogwarts, even if it made things a bit harder for him.  And so he had planned to ask, only things went badly at school and suddenly Sevrin wasn’t the only one who had torn the family apart and hurt his Père, his Papa had too.  And his sister had lied and helped someone who may have been trying to kill their cousin.  She’d told Draco and hadn’t told him.  Benni started feeling very alone again.  He was angry at his Papa, and his sister, but mostly his Papa.

He felt better after they went off to Hogwarts again and it was just he and his Père.  That wasn’t something that had happened before because Sevrin had always been there.  It was nice, even if it was quiet.  Benni thinks the quiet helped his Père more than the distractions in Hogwarts did.  But then Sirius had turned up.

Benoit has no problem with Sirius.  He’s family and he cares about Benni and his sister.  But he also put Jamie in a position to get in to serious trouble.  Of course, it had been to save his Son, Benoit supposes he can understand that, and perhaps his Père would have done the same.  He’s certain his Papa would have.  Papa would do anything for his children.  If only the same could have been said for his Papa doing anything for his husband.  Which isn’t entirely fair, Benoit’s Papa had done a lot for his Père and had loved him very deeply, but it had not been enough.  Benni can respect that, he just doesn’t think his Papa had to be a complete jerk about it, but he’s working through that anger.  He writes about that in his notebook too sometimes.  So Benni can understand why Sirius did as he did, but it still put his Sister in danger, and Benoit can feel all to well the sort of environment she may have ended up in, right next to Sevrin.  Exactly where Sirius had just been.  Then again, keeping his knowledge of that place in mind and perhaps a not so sensible mind state is excusable.  So really, Benoit has no problem with Sirius, only a few of his ill-thought out actions, but that’s Gryffindors for you, he supposes.  He chuckles to himself as he imagines his Père telling him that there’s more to everyone than a standard list of traits attached to them at age Eleven. 

Benoit’s problem isn’t really to do with Sirius, but at the time he had shown up Benoit was still adjusting to the idea of his parents no longer being together.  Suddenly this man, who clearly adores his Père and is adored in return, is living with them and sleeping in dog form in his Père’s bedroom.  So Benni had taken action.  He still has nightmares because of Sevrin, sort of, so it was perfectly reasonable that he wanted to sleep beside his Père, and if that meant the dog got sent to the couch or to one of the empty kid’s rooms, well, Benoit figures he’s definitely slept in worse places.

But then he’d been so kind and looked out for Benni and looked after his Père when he wasn’t looking after himself.  It was clear to Benni exactly how much Sirius loves his Père, and how much his Père loves Sirius. 

If only his Père realised this. 

And so, as Benni grew accustomed to the idea of a split family, new horizons opened up and he knew that if anyone would be good to his Père, it’s the man who tends to him day and night around the full moon, the man who answered the questions about Werewolves Benoit had had since it was all revealed that his grand-parents hadn’t felt comfortable discussing.  It’s the man who wasn’t afraid of his Père, the man who let Benoit come back as soon as the moon had sunk and his Père had transformed back because he wasn’t in the way, he was a part of the system.  Sirius taught him how to help his Père and offered to help him become an Animagus in the future if he wants.  It’s Sirius he told when he decided this is what he wanted to do when he grew up.  Sirius who agreed whole heartedly with his plan and immediately started looking into ways to help and things he’ll want to study and know.  His plan is to create a place like a hospital, almost, for Werewolves for around the moon.  A place where the people working are properly trained to help look after them, a place where they are stopped from hurting people but not caged like animals, and a place where their children could be cared for overnight.  Also it would have a place where relatives could get more information and learn to help and care and understand their Lycanthropic family members.  He also hopes to educate the general population on Werewolves more so that they are understood, so that people understand the danger they put them in is greater than the danger they themselves pose.  He wants laws in place that protect them as well.

Sirius had told him all about the work he and his friends did when they were children about the same subject and gave him the book they’d written and all the notes that went with it.  He’d gone through it with him so that he understood it all correctly and helped him as he researched more.  That’s when Benni and Siirus began planning for his sanctuary to have people there who will help the Werewolf bridge the gap between the mind of the wolf and of the person and help the wolf accept their family as pack so that they are safe.

It’s Sirius who will look after his Père and will be right beside Benni as he tries to make the world better for him.  Because that’s what Sirius wants, the world to be better for Benoit’s Père.

Benoit stares out of the window of his room, his pencil long ago having stopped his scribbling of notes and thoughts and ideas on the link.

He hates that he is linked to Sevrin, but it’s a constant reminder of the danger so many people are in.  Everyone can panic over you-know-who all they want, but he will no longer allow the world to live ignorant of the battle some people are forced to fight their whole life.  No longer will they think their times of peace are truly peaceful, or that a war is not fought every day for the simple right to survive, let alone to _live_.

He looks at his notebook and sighs.  The link can be dealt with another day.  Right now, he has rights to fight for and an oblivious Père to set up with a man who is going to help Benni fight a war to keep him safe.  Perhaps he won’t mention that last bit until it comes to fruition.

Sometimes it’s better if his Père just doesn’t know.

 

 

Remus goes home, into his basement, and checks on the potion he’s secretly brewing.  Bridget is due any day now, Remus _has_ to make sure this is ready.

He’s not stupid, he knows Peter can’t very well just go to the hospital for the birth of his daughter, but Remus will be damned if he misses it all together.  Thus the solution, if he can’t go as himself, he’ll go as Remus.

It’s not as though Remus has never made a Polyjuice potion before.


	52. How Long

Chapter 52

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

Remus walks into the living room of his house to see Blaise on the couch, looking at Padfoot’s collar.  His eyes widen as he walks over, attempting to appear natural and calm.

“Whaatcha got there Blaise?” He asks, Blaise looks at him like he’s a weirdo.

“Some dog collar I found, thought you’d finally gotten Snuffles a collar for when he turns up again but, it says Padfoot on it.  Who’s Padfoot?” Remus clears his throat awkwardly.

“Um, a dog that I…used to have.  Well, not my dog.  A friend’s dog.  But the owner died and then the dog…was gone…and I ended up with its collar.” Blaise raises an eye at him, Remus just calmly takes the collar from him and puts it in his pocket, “Breakfast?”

 

“Why doesn’t Severus eat?” Remus frowns at Blaise, swallowing his mouthful of cereal in a gulp.

“What are you talking about?”

“He never eats, I noticed it a while ago and started actually paying attention.  He never eats, just drinks those weird shake things you make or something out of his hip flask that Lord Malfoy got him.  Even in school, he never eats at mealtimes, just drinks and chats with teachers.” Remus clears his throat as he nods.

“Zombie’s don’t eat normal food.  Those shakes are all he can consume,” He explains, Blaise nods.

“What was his favourite food before he became a Zombie?” Remus frowns, then he shrugs.

“I really don’t know.”

“You two were married for _years_ , how can you not know everything about each other?” Remus opens his mouth to respond, but Blaise continues, “Really, you probably know everything about Sirius, right?  A man you haven’t seen in twelve years apart from one night when everything was weird, and possibly some stuff I’m not meant to know about, my point is how can you not know everything about your own ex-husband?” Remus sighs.

“Sirius is a very different story to Severus.”

“But you _do_ know everything about Sirius, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

“But not Severus?  You didn’t even know he was afraid of you!” Remus freezes slightly, Blaise slaps a hand over his mouth, shocked by his own words.

“What’s all this about Blaise?” The boy’s eyes suddenly fill with tears.

“I have no idea where my own Mother is.  I never do.  I haven’t seen her in what, two months?  I know nothing about her.  I just, I know so much about you because you and Severus are the only _real_ parents I’ve ever had.  Then I heard Lord Malfoy talking to Mr Parkinson about it being good to have people from the old war around for this one, it made me realise that from your side, you and Sev were the only ones left.  And then I was worried, what if that’s why you got together and not because you loved each other, and with everything that happened with Sirius I was worried that you were in love with him and that’s why you and Severus got divorced.  I mean I barely see Sev anymore and I love you, I do, I just miss him and I wanted to understand why he isn’t here.”  Remus drops his spoon into his bowl and walks around the bench to hug Blaise tightly.

“Severus hasn’t been around because he is busy with stuff, but he loves you very much and he isn’t going to leave you like your Mother does.” It’s then that Blaise starts crying into his shoulder, Remus just holds him tightly, “Sirius isn’t why Severus and I got divorced.  We got divorced because there was just so much between us, and yes, Sirius’ escape meant that we couldn’t ignore it anymore, but it all would have come up eventually anyway.  We just…aren’t right for each other, much as I really did love him, and he me, there was no way to make it work.  But that doesn’t mean you lose either of us, it _doesn_ _’_ _t_.  Sev and I will always do everything we can to stay by your side, and you just _watch_ someone try to stop us.”  Blaise chuckles slightly into his shoulder, holding Remus as tightly as Remus holds him.

“I love you Remus.” Remus smiles as he holds the boy he views as his Son.

“I love you too, Blaise.”

 

“Wotcher, Re.” Remus looks up to see Tonks sitting beside him at the kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, Benoit scribbling in his notebook from his place sitting on Remus’ lap.  Remus being careful not to see what’s in the notebook and feeling happy that Benoit trusts him enough not to look, he smiles and nods to Tonks, “Are you okay?”

“Yes just, had an eventful morning.  How are you Tonks?  We haven’t spoken in a while.”

“I visited Mum the other day and broke three separate vases,” She tells him, he chuckles, “She says I’m worse than you are.” He laughs properly at that.

“Well considering how much of a mess I am, that’s impressive.” She laughs too.

“Come on then, what’s your biggest clutz moment?” Remus bites his lip as he thinks about this, then chuckles.

“That’d have to be the Werewolf on the moon incident.” Tonks tilts her head in question as she chuckles.

“I can already tell I’m going to love this story.”

“What story?” Sirius asks as he walks into the room, Severus on his heels.

“Something about a Werewolf on the moon?” Sirius and Severus immediately chuckle as they take a seat.

“Oh, I want to hear this too,” Sirius says excitedly.

“You were literally there!”

“Yes but it will never not be funny,” Severus tells him, Sirius nods his agreement.  Remus glares at both of them before looking back at Tonks.

“Has your mother ever mentioned your cousin Reg?” The girl nods.

“Your little brother, right?” She asks Sirius who nods, a sad gleam in his eyes, and Severus’.

“Well he wrote to Sirius to ask what would happen if you put a Werewolf on the moon.  Now this was back in 1971, our first year at Hogwarts, so none of them knew yet about my being a Werewolf.”

“And you panicked?” Tonks asks, looking more and more amused the more he says, he chuckles and nods.

“I heard the word Werewolf and yes, I panicked.  Next thing I know there’s bits of broken plate falling off the table.  I tried to get out of the way and knocked a goblet that sent…I think it was pumpkin juice, rushing over to our friend Lily who naturally tries to jump out of the way.  She knocks the table which sends more things flying, but also trips on the bench seat and falls against a Slytherin who had been standing to pass a plate of pork.  The pork then went flying, went through…the bloody Baron I think?  Anyways then it hit the wall, rather loudly, and then crashed to the ground.”

“Wow,” Tonks says, Sirius laughs.

“He’s not done.”

“Oh Merlin, Re!”

“Okay so it’s as this point that I realise the knife that had broken the plate was imbedded in the table.  It was the morning after the full and I’d injured myself and was meant to be taking it easy.”

“Instead the idiot decides to pull the knife out of the table, or try to anyway,” Sirius adds, Tonks looking highly amused, as does Severus seeing as he hadn’t been at the table to see exactly what went down.

“Right so Sirius tries to do it for me, only he pulls too hard and wacks himself in the head with the hilt of the knife, falls backwards and into a Hufflepuff…or possibly a Ravenclaw…anyway, poor chap then falls into his own table and knocks yet more things over, meanwhile Sirius is sprawled on the ground.  So Poppy comes over and it turns out this git has given himself a concussion.” They’re all laughing by this point.

“And that is the story of how James and I worked out he’s a Werewolf.” Remus looks at him in surprise.

“ _That_ _’_ _s_ how you worked it out?”

“You didn’t know?”

“You never mentioned it!” Sirius laughs harder.

“Yes Moons, that’s how we worked it out.  You were a complete and total mess and gave it away.” Remus groans, burying his face in his hands.  Tonks rubs his back soothingly, which may have made him feel better had she not been laughing so hard as well.

“Speaking of years previous, Blaise found something this morning,” Remus tells Sirius as he pulls the collar out of his pocket, chucking at him despite him sitting on the side of him not occupied by Tonks.  He catches it and looks at it, thumbing the tag.

“Where the hell did Blaise find that?” Severus asks Remus who shrugs.

“Probably under the couch or something.”

“We’d have seen it if it were under a couch, the amount of times Pansy and Draco decide to reorganise the room.” Remus nods.

“True, I’ve no idea then.  I don’t remember where I put it.”

“How’d you even end up with it?”

“Moody gave it to me, year or so after…everything.”  Tonks looks at the collar quizzically.

“What is it?”

“A collar, couldn’t have someone thinking Padfoot was a stray.”  Sirius seems to be focusing on the collar intently before he just sighs.

“I have absolutely no recollection of this thing.  I assume that means it was rather important to me,” He finally states, Remus gives him a joyless smile and nods.

“I got it for you for Christmas one year, you wore it constantly after that.”

“When he says constantly, he means it.  You literally wore it to James’ wedding, and Alice’s, and your own!” Severus tells him, The other three chuckle as Sirius nods.

“Yes, that sounds like me.”

“You’re married?” The group turn to see Harry who had arrived the night before, Sirius hesitates for a moment too long so Remus takes over.

“Harry, that album Rubeus put together for you.”

“Rubeus?  Oh Hagrid!  Yes, what about it?” He asks as he walks in and sits down at the table, Hermione, Ginny, and Ron walking in along with him.

“There should be a few pictures in there of James, Lily, you, and a young woman with curly brown hair?” He asks, Harry nods.

“She’s in the wedding photo too,” He comments, Remus nods.

“Yes, she was Lily’s maid of honour.  That’s Del Black, Sirius’…technically ex-wife.” Sirius raises an eyebrow at him, “Marriages are voided when one half goes into Azkaban on a life sentence.  Interestingly, if both do then they are still legally married.”

“Why do you _know_ that?”

“I looked into it!”

“How did you know what photos are in my album?” Harry asks him, Remus smiles at him.

“Rubeus wrote to me among others to get the photos, I sent in the picture of the wedding party, a few others too.  And one of James and Lily in the Gryffindor common room.”

“Oh good, I can finally get an answer then.  Is that Professor Snape with them?” He asks, Severus’ head snaps up to look at Remus who scratches his head awkwardly and nods, “Why was a Slytherin in the Gryffindor common room?”

“He lived there for five years, we only had four in our dorm so he just moved in.” The kids look to Severus in surprise.

“Dungeons are cold, I don’t like cold.”

“You can just, move in like that?” Sirius shrugs.

“No one ever stopped it so we figured it was okay.  I can’t imagine they didn’t notice seeing as he and…seeing as he was always in our common room.  Few other Slytherins came and went as well, and Del.  She was in Hufflepuff though,” He tells them.

“And I spent a bunch of time in the Slytherin common room in our final two years, no one ever stopped that,” Remus adds.

“Why would you want to do that?” Ron asks, scrunching his nose up like it’s the worst thing he’s ever heard, Remus chuckles.

“I have a lot of friends who were in Slytherin.”

“Is that how you ended up close with Malfoy and that?” Remus nods.

“Draco’s my God-Son.” The three look at him in shock, Ginny doesn’t seem surprised.

“Did you know about this?!” Ron asks his sister, she nods.

“Somehow I’m not surprised,” Remus says with a sigh, Ginny chuckles.

“How can you stand to be around them?” Harry asks, Hermione stomps on his foot, “Ow!”

“Don’t be rude!  Honestly it’s like when you found out they were married.”

“That was Ron that time!”

“You’re as bad as each other!”

“I know you all don’t get along with them, but that doesn’t mean they are bad people.  They don’t exactly think highly of you either, that doesn’t mean you’re bad people.”

“That’s different Professor!” Harry tells him, Remus raises an eyebrow.

“How so?”

“They’re cruel and horrible and do mean stuff all the time.”

“From what I’ve heard you aren’t exactly a saint either.” Ron looks outraged at the very idea.

“He tried to have Buckbeak killed!” Severus looks at them in confusion.

“No he didn’t.  He and I tried to convince Lucius to let it go, didn’t really work.”

“No surprises there,” Sirius mutters, Remus sighs.

“I thought you said I was right about him.”

“That was before he went and joined Voldemort again!” Remus goes to argue before he stops and nods.

“Yes, fair enough.”

“Wait, are you serious?” Sirius asks, Severus opens his mouth but Sirius glares at him before he can say the pun, “Since when do you not endlessly defend Lucius’ choices?”

“Well it occurred to me that Voldemort’s people just about killed Minnie, did kill Mary, and Marlene, both their families, James, Lily, Dorcas, Fabian, Gideon, god knows what happened to Caradoc.  Once upon a time Lucius would have called James, Lily, Mary, and Marlene friends, or at least close acquaintances.  He came to the Potters’ for Christmas lunch for Merlin’s sake, and he’s gone back to fight for the man that killed them.  I’m not okay with that.”  Sirius smiles at him.

“Mate, I have waited a damned long time to hear you say that.”  Harry suddenly gets up and walks out of the room, the others watch him leave.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he looked curious, not upset.  He forgets to tell people what he’s doing sometimes, forgets they are paying attention,” Ron explains, Severus angrily mutters under his breath about ‘damned ham of a man.’

“You know ever since you made that comparison I haven’t been able to eat ham.”

“I don’t eat ham anymore either,” Severus tells him, Remus looks at him, looking torn between amusement and a need to strangle his ex-husband.

“Well of course _you_ don’t you twit!” Severus laughs at him as Remus both laughs and splutters in indignant anger, everyone else looks confused, “Oh actually, that reminds me, Blaise was asking about why you never eat.  He might bring it up with you.”  Severus nods, “Also, you should try and spend some time with him.  You haven’t been around much lately and he’s definitely noticed.”

“Could always take him to a movie.”

“Pat and Lucius threw a complete fit last time we did that.”

“Well Pansy and Draco wouldn’t be with us so they’ve nothing to complain about.  And really, if they don’t want their children exposed to muggle things then they shouldn’t let two half-bloods look after them.”

“Why don’t you two take Alexandre’s dog to the dog park?  Then you’ll actually talk instead of just stare at a screen for two hours.”

“That dog hates me.”

“So it’ll be far more entertaining for Blaise anyway.”  Severus rolls his eyes.

“All right, I’ve got a thing tomorrow morning, how about tomorrow afternoon?” Remus thinks about it.

“He’s staying with Theo that night, so long as you’re back by five it should be fine.”  Severus nods.

“My god, they’re… _domestic_!” Sirius comments to Tonks, as though it were the most scandalous thing he’s heard, she laughs with him.  Harry walks back in with the album, looking through it before putting an open page in front of his Potions Master.

“Why are you so horrible about him?”  Severus looks down and sees the picture of he, Lily, and James on the couch in Gryffindor common room, laughing about something.  He sighs, picking up the album and looking at the photo.

“When it comes to your father, there is a lot that you do not understand, and at the time there was a lot I didn’t understand either.  Important things that I didn’t know. I…apologise. Perhaps my words were a tad harsh.”  He can’t exactly explain that he wasn’t talking about James, that he was talking about Sirius, a man he was very angry with at the time.  Not because he thought him guilty, but because he will never not be angry about Sirius trying to kill him.  The kids look at him in shock, except Ginny who, at some point, had begun painting her nails.

“I, uh, thank you Sir.”

“Neville’s cupboard had a Boggart in it,” Ginny suddenly says, everyone looks to her in confusion, “Thanks to Professor Lupin’s teaching, he managed to stay calm enough to get his Gran to deal with it, since he’s underage and couldn’t do it himself.  He told me something interesting though, his Boggart had changed.” Remus looks at her in interest, she continues painting her nails like she doesn’t have a care in the world, “It’s Bellatrix Lestrange now.  Makes a bit more sense if you ask me.”  Sirius and Severus look to Remus in concern, he’s gripping the table tightly and his eyes are pinched, but he also looks rather pleased.  Ginny finally looks up, locking eyes with him and smiling slightly as she waves her hand around to dry her nails.  Remus looks to Severus, a proud look on his face, Severus rolls his eyes at him but can’t deny that he’s relieved at the information.

Remus hears a noise from the kitchen, looking over in confusion when he sees no one there.

“Re?” Tonks asks him, he shakes his head.

“Noth–” Then he hears it again, “Okay did no one else hear that?” Remus asks, they all look confused, then there’s a louder noise, one the others _do_ hear.

“Oh, that’s just Kreacher,” Sirius tells him, Remus nods, remembering him mentioning the house-elf before.

“Who’s Kreacher?” Harry asks.

“Kreacher, would you come out here, please?” Severus calls out, Kreacher walks out.

“What is it Kreacher can help Kreacher’s half-blood Master with?” Sirius scowls at the house-elf, Severus smiling indulgently.

“I only wish to introduce you to Harry.  Harry, this is Kreacher, Kreacher, Harry Potter.”  Kreacher sneers at the boy before turning back to Severus.

“Why can’t the Half-Blood Master ever bring a nice pure-blood home?  Mistress Black would have been disappointed.” Severus sighs.

“Kreacher, we’ve talked about this.”  The house-elf gives a long-suffering sigh before turning back.

“Kreacher is pleased to meet you young Mister Potter.”

“I’m pleased to meet you too Kreacher.”  The house-elf seems surprised by that, nodding in a slightly more accepting fashion.

“Kreacher doesn’t appreciate the Werewolf in the house,” The house-elf tells Severus to the surprise of Ron, Ginny, and Sirius who know a house-elf shouldn’t be able to question their Master in such a way.

“This Werewolf is Remus Lupin, Kreacher.”  Kreacher’s eyes widen as he turns to Remus.

“Begging your pardon sir, Kreacher didn’t know.”  Remus and Sirius both look gob-smacked, Severus gives Remus a pointed look, eyes moving from Remus to Kreacher and back again.

“It’s not a problem Kreacher.”  Kreacher nods.

“May Kreacher return to work, Master?” Severus nods.

“Yes of course, thank you Kreacher.” Kreacher nods slightly before heading back into the kitchen.

“What the hell just happened?” Sirius asks Severus who suddenly looks sad.

“When Reg moved out, Kreacher went with him, he only came back here after…anyway, Reg had it in his will that whatever he inherited, should he die or be dead, would be split between the two of us.  Since you went to Azkaban before your Mother died, they just gave everything to me, including Kreacher.  He and I had developed an understanding when he was still serving Reg, I think he was rather relieved when Reg and I told him should anything happen he’d be left in my care and not yours.”  Sirius scoffs.

“Damned thing never liked me.”

“I imagine that’s the case with a lot of people.” Sirius glares at him.

“He’s not a person, he’s a house-elf, the least he could have done was show a little respect to one of the members of the family he served.”

“House-elves have feelings too Sirius and, from what I hear, you treated him no better than he treated you.  Don’t ever insinuate that a house-elf is not a free-thinking individual with opinions of their own again!”

“You sound just like Reg!”

“Well maybe that’s why Kreacher liked him and not you!” The two glare at each other, Remus clears his throat.

“Sirius, you know how sometimes your ideals match up with your parents’ simply because you haven’t been exposed to much else?”  Sirius nods, “I think this is one of those times.  Like when you found out Euphemia had cooked and you were so surprised because you didn’t know humans _could_ cook.” Sirius nods again, “House-elves are people in their own right, so if you dislike Kreacher, that’s fine, but he’s free to dislike you as well.  Okay?” Sirius looks sullen, Remus isn’t sure exactly which part of that caused it, but he nods nonetheless.

“Who’s Euphemia?” Ginny asks curiously.

“Harry’s grandmother.  Euphemia Potter,” Severus tells her, Harry looks surprised.

“I have a Grandmother?  Well…I suppose I sort of _have_ to have had one…I never considered that,” He trails off as he realises he should have known he’d have grandparents, “What were they like?  My Grandparents, I mean.  All four of them.” Severus, Sirius, and Remus all exchange looks before Severus stands up.

“I just remembered I have something to do,” He says before practically storming out of the room and flooing away.  Sirius and Remus look lost, neither wanted to lie but…what choice did they have?

“Why don’t we talk about that another time, Harry?” Sirius looks a little pleading as he asks, so Harry nods.  Remus and Sirius don’t realise this, but Harry’s put together that they don’t want to feed him a lie.  He’s grateful for that, even if he’s rather annoyed that they’ve yet to tell him the truth.

“Who’s Reg?” Hermione asks, Sirius miserably gives up at that point and also leaves the room, claiming a need to keep cleaning, Remus clears his throat.

“Sirius’ little Brother, Regulus Black.”

“Why would Sirius’ brother leave anything to Snape?”

“Professor Snape, Miss Granger.”

“Professor Snape,” Hermione amends.

“They were romantically involved.” Harry and Ron look grossed out.

“What happened to Regulus?” Ginny asks, Remus sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

“He died trying to destroy Voldemort.  We don’t know what exactly he was doing, only that it didn’t work.”

“At least he tried, right?” Hermione offers, Remus nods.

“Were he and Sirius close?” Ron asks, Remus gives a breathy sort of chuckle.

“Um, that’s a bit debatable.  When we were all kids they were, we used to call him the Little Marauder because we’d all adopted him as our brother as well,” He tells them, a fond smile on his face, then it slides away, “Then their parents did something truly horrible and it ended with Regulus becoming a Death Eater.”  The kids all gasp at that, “He was only fourteen at the time.”

“Oh my god,” Hermione says, tears filling her eyes, Remus nods.

“We dealt with the situation as best we could but, at the time, we didn’t know why he had done it.  It wasn’t until Sirius was forced to leave that we found out, Reg had sent a note along with him explaining the situation.  A few years after that I…was in trouble and needed rescuing, he and Severus pulled it off and returned me to the Order.  I’d be dead if it weren’t for him,” Remus tells them, his hands shaking slightly at the memory, “It was only a few months later that Severus showed up to give us the news.  So yes, they were close, but, in the end, it had been years since they really saw each other.” 

“How old was he when…” Ginny asks, trailing off, unwilling to say it.

“Eighteen,” He replies, then he clears his throat and shakes his head, “Excuse me.”  He picks Benni up, putting him back on the seat, making sure he’s okay, and then he leaves, heading upstairs.

“The last war, it was really bad wasn’t it?” Harry asks Tonks who nods.

“I wasn’t around for it, obviously, I was seven when it ended.  But I’ve seen and heard enough to know that.”

“Do you think it will get that bad again?” Hermione asks, Tonks gets a hard look on her face.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

 

A few days later Sirius floos into Remus’ home, upon request by him.

“Remus?  You know it’s not exactly safe for me to be here,” He reminds the man, Remus nods as he comes into the room.

“I know but, this is important.”  Sirius gestures for him to continue, “I’ve been trying to work out a way for you to visit Del, and I got it.” Sirius looks at him in surprise, Remus hands him a glass, he takes it and sniffs it.

“What is this?”

“Polyjuice potion.  One that will make you look like me.  I visit her frequently, so it won’t be suspicious.  She won’t know it’s you, and you’ll have to act like me because it’s probably being watched in the hopes you’ll show up, but at least you’ll get to see her.”  Sirius looks at him, tears in his eyes as he throws himself at Remus, careful not to spill the potion.  Remus hugs him tightly.  Sure, the potion was made for Peter, Remus has already given him a portion to use when Del goes into labour, but that doesn’t mean it can’t bring more than one person the chance to see their loved ones, “You’ve got to get back to Grimmauld Place by the time Arthur and Harry get back from his hearing, so your visit is booked in for about fifteen minutes time.”  Sirius looks at the potion nervously, Remus gives him a nod, so he sculls it all in one go.

“Oh that is truly vile.”

“Try drinking wolfsbane, then we’ll talk.” Sirius chuckles even as he continues screwing his face up in disgust, then he feels himself starting to change.  Mere moments later, he’s a head taller than he was before, and his clothes are uncomfortable.  Remus hands him a stack of his own clothes, Sirius goes to the bedroom and changes quickly before returning, “Yep, this is weird.  You’d best get going.”

“What if someone sees you and it somehow gets out you were in two places at once?” Sirius asks, seeming shocked at the sound of his voice being his own, he tries to imitate Remus’ for the last few words and does a pretty impressive job.

“I took the day off work, go.” Sirius goes.

 

It doesn’t take long to get to the prison and get in, he’s lead into a room and given a seat in front of a window, a phone on both sides of the glass.  Then Del is brought in on the other side and Sirius has to remind himself that Remus does this all the time so he needs to act like he does.  She picks up the phone on her side, so he does the same.

“Remus, hi,” Del greets, a smile on her face.  Sirius can’t help the tears that fill his eyes, despite his best effort.  She frowns, “What’s wrong?  Did something happen?”

“No, I uh, I just miss you.”  She looks at him intently for a moment before her eyes widen and fill with tears of his own.

“No need to look so _serious_ ,” She tells him, he looks at her in surprise.

“How did you…?” She smiles.

“I always know.”  She puts a hand on the glass, he does the same, “It’s really good to see you Remus, Merlin I miss you too.” Sirius lets out a wet chuckle.

“I saw Harry recently,” He tells her, she smiles at him, tears streaming freely down both their faces.  He wipes them away and sits up straighter in a more Remus-y fashion, though he doesn’t remove his hand from the glass.

“You’re watching over him then?” She asks hopefully he nods.

“More than, I make sure to keep in touch, we see each other on occasion.  More so lately.”  Her whole face lights up at the news.

“How is he?” He smiles widely despite still blinking away tears.

“He’s wonderful Lilah,” He tells her, she nods, he frowns, “Del, where’s Hermione?  Where is ou-your daughter?” She sighs as she looks down, taking a moment to collect herself before looking back at him.

“Albus made sure she’s safe.”

“She’d have been safe with…me,” He says, awkwardly remembering he’s meant to be Remus half way through the sentence, “Or with you, if you weren’t in there.  Del please –”

“No Ri-mus, I won’t tell you.” She inwardly curses at her slip.

“Please Del, let me help you.”

“No, will you just,” She sighs, “Just trust me, please.  The best way for me to protect them is to be here.”

“How can this possibly protect them?” She smiles at him sadly, curling her fingers on the glass slightly as though for a moment she forgot she can’t curl them around his hand.

“I need you to be strong for them okay?  Because Hermione…she’s closer than you think, and we both need to do everything we can to protect both of them.  So please, trust me, I _need_ you to trust me, and so do they.” Sirius closes his eyes, hanging his head slightly, overcome with emotion.  Then he looks back up and nods.

“Okay.”

 

Meanwhile, Remus sits on the floor, back against his kitchen counter, miserably drinking firewhiskey. 

“He gesta see his wife, I should b’happy,” He murmurs to himself, but he’s not.  He’s not happy because Sirius looked the happiest Remus has seen him since he escaped Azkaban, and it wasn’t for Harry, or him, it was for Del.  He should be happy for his friend, feel proud that he was the one to cause Sirius’ happiness by giving him this opportunity.  But he’s not, because Sirius has gone to visit Del and now he’s alone.  Alone because despite everything his family has fallen apart.  Blaise’s mother showed up at last, Severus and he got divorced, Benni still won’t speak, Jamie spends 90% of her time with the Weasleys, and really, what’s he left with?  For all his words about moving on with life and not being alone because people care about him…he _is_ alone.  Alone because Severus was afraid of him, alone because Sirius loves Del, alone because his children never feel like they are with him anymore, alone because he has no one to make him feel otherwise.  His sister is gone, Petunia is gone, Severus is gone, Blaise is gone, Lucius is a Death Eater and must keep his distance, same with the others.  Sirius loves Del and Remus should be happy, but he isn’t, and he doesn’t know why all of this is occurring to him now. 

An owl arrives with a letter, Remus takes it from the owl with shaking hands, offers the bird some water and seeds but it takes off with merely a hoot of thanks.  He sits on the floor again, downing more firewhiskey, before opening the letter.  Inside is a picture of Bridget, a man who looks like him but isn’t, and a newborn baby.  On the back is a small note.

_A picture of Baby Rema for her God-Father_

_Thank you for giving me this._

Remus feels tears in his eyes, they named their daughter after him and named him God-Father.

“Even Peter Pettigrew has somethin’,” Remus mutters, shaking his cruel thoughts from his head.  He’s happy for his old friend, even if he still kind of hates him a little.  Well not him, but some particular choices he’s made in the distant and recent past.  Then something clicks in his head, “Oh dear…Tha’ waz bad timin’ for Brudgie to hava baby,” He says to himself, “I guess there were two o’ me ‘fter all.”

 

A few minutes later, the floo activates and Tonks walks out.

“Remus?” She calls, looking around for him, “Unplanned meeting!”

“Dora?” He asks, she looks down at him, notices the empty bottle beside him and sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“How much have you had?” He shrugs as he tucks the photo into his pocket.

“Notiz much s’I wan’ed to?” He replies as he stands up, she looks him over before nodding.

“Yeah you seem functional enough, have you seen Sirius?  He’s not at the house.” Remus blows out a breath as he pretends to think about it.

“Nope, maybe Pa’foot wen fura run.” She sighs.

“He’s going to get himself killed,” She complains, then she shakes her head, “Come on, there’s been a development.”

 

A few minutes after they leave, Sirius comes back, making it inside literally as his hair begins going back to normal.

“Remus?” He asks, but no one is home, he goes into the bedroom and changes back into his own clothing.

He then goes into the living room, hoping to find some kind of sign of where Remus had gone.  He finds an empty bottle of firewhiskey and sighs as he kneels down in front of it.

“I was only gone an hour mate,” He says with a sigh despite being alone, he then finds a torn open envelope and assumes Remus must have gotten some bad news.  He looks at it, and finds it empty, but sees it is addressed to Remus.  Which isn’t a surprise, it’s his house after all.  What _is_ surprising, is that he knows that handwriting, “What the hell are you doing getting letters from Wormtail?” He hears the floo activate and pockets the envelope as he transforms into Padfoot and ducks down the hallway, hiding in a room that seems to just work as a store room.  It’s also the room with the back window that Sirius uses to break in when need be.  Looking around, Padfoot sees a photo frame housing a picture of his wedding to Del, and suddenly he remembers it.  He remembers his wedding day, he holds back the mournful howl that wants to escape.

“Malfoy, you search that way, I’ll take the bedroom, Avery, you take this room,” A male voice directs, Sirius is sure he’s heard it before, but he can’t place it.

A few minutes of movement and footsteps and things being knocked around later, Lucius Malfoy walks into the room and sees him.

“Snuffles?” He asks in a whisper, the dog growls quietly but he shushes the dog, “Shhh, they’ll hear you,” He tells him, Padfoot goes quiet, unsure what exactly is happening, “Where have you even been?  Oh forget it that’s not the priori –” He trails off, stepping back from the dog and closing the door, looking at it warily, “I’m sure you remember me mentioning I’m an empath.” Padfoot doesn’t react to the words, “And my saying that dogs feel things differently from people.” Again he doesn’t react, “And let me tell you, dogs can’t feel the heartbreak you are feeling,” Lucius tells him, pointing his wand at him, Padfoot backs up, “Who are you?!” Lucius whisper demands, Sirius debates what to do before realising he’s out of options.  He shifts back to his human form, Lucius’ eyes widen as he lowers his wand, “Sirius…you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I am,” He replies, uncertainly.

“Do you remember when the Death Eaters were going to raid the castle?” Sirius frowns but nods, “What they were looking for, they think Remus has it, that’s what they’re searching for.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because Remus doesn’t have it, not anymore.  I heard the Dark Lord describe what he’s looking for and I remembered Remus telling me what happened to it, so I grabbed it before they could find it.”  He pulls out the necklace containing Remus’ half of the vial they’d found years ago, “I need you to take it to him.  It’s safer with you than with me.”  Sirius grabs the necklace from him, eyes wide.

“What could he possibly want from this?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even know what it is.  All I do know is that he once tasked Pettigrew with finding whatever it used to be in, that’s when he told Lord Voldemort about the necklaces,” He tells him, Sirius scoffs.

“Of course he did.”

“Pettigrew was supposed to get yours and deliver it to him, but when he brought it they discovered the necklace empty.” Sirius gasps.

“How could it be empty?”

“It shouldn’t have been?” Sirius shakes his head wildly, “It doesn’t matter right now, soon after, we lost the war and it was all but forgotten.  But the Dark Lord has set his sights on it again, Avery took one look at the other necklace and remembered that Remus had an identical one.  We’ve been sent to find it.  I don’t know what’s in here, but given where Lord Voldemort heard about it, it doesn’t seem like something _anyone_ should get their hands on.”

“Don’t worry, no one will.  But where did he hear about it?”  Lucius pulls out a torn and very old piece of parchment from his pocket.

“I duplicated it, he’s still got a copy.  I had hoped to somehow leave the necklace and this for Remus to find but I hadn’t worked out how yet.  Take it to him, please.”  Sirius nods, Lucius does too, “And Sirius, I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you more.”

“Given everything I’ve thought of you at different times, I think we’re even.  I’m sorry about Narcissa,” He tells the man, Lucius nods.

“Me too.”

“Malfoy, find anything?” The first voice calls out.

“If I had, Goyle, you’d have heard about it.”  That would be why the voice was familiar, Paul Goyle, “You need to tell Remus that his house isn’t safe anymore, he’s ordered us here once, he might do it again.  Blaise will have to start staying with Severus, and Remus needs to run.  If they find him they will do whatever it takes to find out where that necklace is.” Sirius nods, then Lucius turns and leaves, “Nothing down that end.”

“Nor here.”

“Wherever it is, it’s not here,” Avery declares, “He probably has it with him, it’s a necklace for Merlin’s sake.”

“None of us have seen him wear it in years, that’s _why_ we’re looking here,” Paul reminds him.

“You need to stop thinking of him as your friend, he’s not as neutral as he once was.”

“What is it with you and him anyway?” Paul demands.

“That is no business of yours,” Avery replies, Sirius doesn’t think he’s heard so much hatred in one voice before.

“Let’s just get out of here before he returns,” Lucius suggests, Sirius hears them leave, but stays hidden for a few more minutes before heading to the floo and going straight to Grimmauld place.

 

“PLEASE TELL ME REMUS IS HERE!” Sirius all but screams as he sprints into the dining room where the Order is sat around the table along with the kids.

“Y’m’here,” Remus tells him, Sirius sighs.

“Of all the bloody times for you to have binged.  We have a problem, HOLY FUCKING SHIT DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM!” He tells him, pacing and pulling at his hair.

“Right I’ll have the same conversation with you that I had with Remus, that sort of language will not be tolerated around my childre–”

“I apologise for that Molly but we have bigger problems.”

“What are you talkin’ bout Pa’foot?” Remus asks, Sirius looks at him, desperate and rather terrified.

“I know what they were looking for when they planned to raid Hogwarts.”

“Sirius tha was twenny years ago, more than, why’s thissa pro’lem now?”  Remus asks, blinking a few times like he’s trying to bring Sirius into focus again.  Sirius looks to be about a second away from strangling his drunken friend, everyone else just seems resigned to it by this point, Molly pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration and exasperation.

“Because they are still after it!  Only now they know it isn’t in the castle, it’s with you!  They’re looking for you.” The room all but freezes, looking at each other and at Remus who looks confused and concerned.

“What’re they afta?” Sirius pulls the necklace out of his pocket, chucking to Remus who grabs it and looks at it, only to look up at Sirius in a panic, “What do they wan wiv it?” He asks, voice weak and terrified.

“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

“Who didn’t?” Sturgis asks him, Sirius takes a breath, trying to calm down.

“Okay, Remus, your house was searched by Goyle, Avery, and Lucius.”

“What?!” He demands.


	53. It's Been A Long Road...

Chapter 53

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

“Okay, Remus, your house was searched by Goyle, Avery, and Lucius.”

“What?!” Remus demands, Sirius nods severely.

“Lucius said to tell you it isn’t safe anymore, that Blaise is going to have to start staying with Severus and that you need to hide.  He took the necklace before they could find it and gave it to me to give to you.”

“Why were ya talkin’ to him anyway?”

“I hid as Padfoot, he found me, recognised me for what I am, it all devolved from there.  Voldemort has been looking for the vial for a long time, years ago Peter told him that we’d found it and put it in our necklaces.” Remus sighs, rubbing at his forehead.

“Of course he did.”

“That’s what I said!”

“Sirius, focus.”

“Right, sorry.  He sent Peter to get mine, but when he handed it over, it was empty.”  Remus looks at him, rather accusatory, Sirius glares.

“It wasn’t me!”

“All right, m’sorry.  How coul’it have been empty then?” He asks, doing his best to think through the alcohol-induced fuzziness, “I should no’ve drunk so much,” He mutters, Molly scoffs at him.

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound like he was happy about it.  Then the war ended and it didn’t matter, but he’s looking for it again.  Avery told him that he’d seen you wearing another of those, but one of your friends said they hadn’t seen you wearing it in years, that’s why they searched your house.  If they find you they’ll do anything to make you talk,” Sirius explains rather frantically.

“How’d he even know ‘bout the vial?” Sirius frowns as he pulls the parchment out of his pocket.

“Lucius said he didn’t know what’s in the necklaces, but based on where Voldemort had gotten his information, he didn’t think anyone should have it, that’s why he was trying to get it back to you.  He made a copy of whatever Voldemort had, gave it to me to pass on.”  He passes it to Remus who unfolds it and looks at it, Remus takes a half second to look at it before he hands it to Sirius.

“I don’t speak Latin,” He explains, Sirius finally takes a seat, grabbing the page and looking over it.

“XXII Ianuarius

Mea maxima culpa aliquando plus, laboris vastata tribus mensibus. Si me ipsum mihi perficere opus meum umquam effugere atque abire hac arce, et alios, usque post me. Dimittens utinam possim patri Merek et Ayleth tueri oportet, hoc modo.

 

XXIV Ianuarius

Ego claudere: quia scio. Mox mea, cito habitabunt in ea securi: et absentis diu. Et humilia respicit in optimo. Factum est autem opus non crederetur.

 

XXX Ianuarius

Conditionis meae, sed horrificis etiam signis. Factum est omne peccatum. Et factum est celare nihil potest unquam liceat invenire eam. Parce mihi amica mea, pueri: parce mihi.”

“Great, what does that mean?” Tonks asks her cousin, Sirius frowns at the page.

“It means that someone, a very long time ago, found themselves in a lot of trouble and did something horrible to get out of it.”

“You gon’ elaborate on tha?” Remus asks him, Sirius looks up to find at some point he’s grabbed a glass of what Sirius assumes to be alcohol if the disapproving look on Molly’s face is anything to go by.  Sirius huffs at him.

“I don’t speak Latin fluently you know.  I can _maybe_ translate it but it could take some time.  All I know right now is that it’s a diary, and whoever wrote it was afraid.”

“A diary?  Whose?” Sirius sighs.

“Didn’t I just say all I know?” Hermione narrows her eyes at him, “Sorry, I’ve had a very draining day.  The use of Latin, not to mention how they’ve written the date, would suggest it was a long time ago, centuries even.  We’re talking medieval times.”

“Can you narrow it down any further?” Remus asks, Sirius nods.

“Sure, with time.  You’re looking at sometime after 45 years previous to our common era.  Which is, you know, a long time.  But that’s when the Julian calendar starts, and that’s got to be what they’ve used here for the month Ianuarius to exist _and_ have thirty-one days not twenty-nine.” Remus frowns.

“Wasn’t the…umm…words…oh the original text we read, wasn’t that in Latin as well?” Sirius nods, the two look at each other.

“We need to get that book!” They say at the same time.

“What book?” Minerva asks, both look shifty for a second before turning to look at her in sync.

“So Minnie,” Remus begins.

“Funny story,” Sirius continues.

“We needa book.”

“That may or may not be in the restricted section.” They both look at her as innocently as they can manage, she frowns at them.

“How is it either of you would know what is or is not in the restricted section?  I don’t recall either of you ever getting permission to enter it.” Remus and Sirius both freeze for a moment, and then look sheepish.

“So um, another funny story,” Sirius begins, she raises an unimpressed eyebrow, Sirius slumps.

“I assume it was the two of you that stole the book then?” They both shake there heads.

“Actually we had nothing to do with it that time.”

“That time?” Remus sighs.

“Okay, yes, we broke in.  I wassonly lookin’ fera way to talk James’n Sirius out of doin’ something very stupid.”

“Which he did, we did not do it,” Sirius adds, “Although, given I translated it, one could say I talked myself out of it.” Remus glares at him.

“Then who stole the book?”

“James,” They both say at once.

“But I didn’t know what he was up to until he’d made up his mind and was all ‘I’m doing this with or without you.’ So _obviously_ it was better he not do it alone!”

“And I didn’t know until the three of them had already done it.” Minerva pinches the bridge of her nose as Fred, George, Ginny, and Ron all fail at subtly laughing.  Hermione just looks disapproving.

“I don’t suppose either of you know where it is now?  Because we’ve never been able to replace it.”

“Assuming it didn’t just get stolen durin’ the raid, s’in my basement,” Remus tells her, she sighs.

“Why didn’t you return it?”

“Well by the time it was all over it had been months!  To do so then would have given everything away.”

“All right, if that isn’t the time you mean then…then you were the ones who locked Mr Filch in,” She says as it dawns on her.

“That was me,” Both say at once, “Stop trying to defend me! Dammit Moony/Pa’foot!”

“None of this matters anymore, Minnie, we need that book,” Remus says, looking at her seriously, she frowns.

“One of you is an illegal Animagus on the run from the Ministry, the other an alcoholic apparently incapable of going a blasted day without drinking even around his children, and both of you have just admitted to lying, and sneaking around, and stealing from the school!  You expect me to entrust you with such a book?  What is in that book is dangerous.”

“Yes, I know, that’s why we need to find out exactly what is going on and stop Voldemort from doing so first.” She looks unconvinced by Sirius’ words, Remus bites his lip nervously before he gets up and walks over, putting the necklace in his hand in front of her on the table harshly.

“While exploring the castle, we found a vial behind a stone engraved with a snake.  With it was a note instructing on how to use it.  Blood magic.  Sirius warned us to never use it, but James, he couldn’t let it go.

“Months later, something with Severus had happened and Sirius decided, what the hell, let’s do it, he deserves it whatever it does.  James was all for it, he really wanted to use it and know what it did, but I didn’t.  Sirius had been so against it to begin with for a reason, so I insisted we go looking for more information. 

“The four of us broke into the Restricted section and found a book with the brewing instructions for this potion along with a warning.  Sirius translated the ingredients, and the warning, then Filch turned up, but by then we knew we couldn’t use it, not ever.  We didn’t even tell James and Peter what we’d found, only that we wouldn’t ever use it, but James, he still wanted to. 

“I couldn’t let it go either, I needed to know what it did, so I looked into the ingredients.  A few days later Sirius showed up saying he’d gotten hung up on it as well, so I explained what I’d found,” Remus says, speaking slowly and carefully so as to get the words out as un-slurred as possible.  He pauses here, a haunted look in his eyes, “Had we tried it out as James suggested, we’d have had to kill him.” A few gasps are heard, Remus assumes they’re from the children, but he has Minerva’s attention now so he continues, “Sirius and I realised it was far too dangerous to simply hide away, so we divided it up into our necklaces.  If anyone ever did manage to get it off us, it wouldn’t be nearly so much.  Still too much, far too much, but not as much as it could have been.

“Now his necklace was empty when Peter handed it over, and we’ve no idea what happened to its contents, but it can’t be good, and I doubt it’s over with.  Please, if he gets a hold of that book he can make more, we cannot let that happen.” Minerva sighs but nods.

“What book?”

“Vim Sanguinis,” Sirius tells her.  She floos out immediately, “I forgot what you’re like when you’re like that,” He comments, looking at Remus, as is the rest of the room.  Remus sits back in his seat, downing the rest of his drink and before wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees.  Molly moves to stand beside him and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, he smiles slightly at her before moving his gaze back to the table before him.

“Hey Re,” Tonks begins, he looks at her questioningly, “What _does_ happen if you put a Werewolf on the moon?” Sirius laughs, Remus looks amused though doesn’t uncurl himself.

“We dunno for sure, but we think it would leave’s pernam-perman-en-tly transformed.  Holy shit I needa stop drinkin’,” Remus says, blinking widely, Sirius rolls his eyes and continues to answer Tonks’ question.

“Possibly more wolfish.”

“Yes, but he said that before tha thing with the thing.”

“Still standing by it given you _tried to eat me_.”

“Oh that’s your own fault.” Sirius looks at him incredulously.

“How is that _my_ fault?”

“Moony still’ates you,” Remus replies, Sirius opens his mouth to argue before shutting up.

“Oh.”

“A Werewolf can hate?” Emmeline asks, Remus folds further into himself.

“Why don’t we talk about this later?” Sirius suggests.

They all sit in awkward silence for a while, still waiting for Dumbledore to show up and explain why they’re here.

“What were you doing at Remus’ house anyway?” Tonks suddenly asks Sirius, “When I got Remus from there he said he hadn’t seen you.” Sirius opens his mouth to speak but Moody gets in first.

“If you got him from his house, how is it I saw him at *St Mungos not five minutes before I got here.” Sirius looks to Remus in confusion, Remus shrugs.

“Floos move quickly.”

“You had an empty bottle of firewhiskey with you, even _you_ don’t drink that fast.  Not and be as put together as you were when I arrived,” Tonks tells him.

“And they don’t allow the consumption of alcohol on the premises,” Elphias adds when Remus moves to open his mouth, he closes his mouth again, everyone regards him with suspicion, intrigue, and a splash of amusement from some.

Sirius gives him a pointed look, asking if he had been the only one to take the Polyjuice potions, Remus winces as though to say no, Sirius looks at him like he’s an idiot, Remus gives him an imploring look that tells him this hadn’t been the plan, Sirius rolls his eyes and shakes his head at Remus’ perceived idiocy, Remus drops his chin to his knees and sulks.

“I got word earlier that you visited Delilah Black less than an hour ago,” Kingsley adds.

“Knew they’d be watching it,” Remus comments, Sirius nods.

“Would one of you care to explain?”  Neither speaks.

“Didn’t realise you were seeing someone, let alone having a kid,” Moody tells Remus, Sirius looks at him in shock, Remus shakes his head.

“Not me’kid, shiz mah God-Daughter.”

“You and her mother sure seemed close,” The man continues, Remus winces, unsure what exactly he had seen, “Who is she?” He asks, non-accusingly, but Remus can tell when he’s being interrogated and his brain is not working well enough to deal with it.

“A friend.” The front door opens loudly, setting off Walburga Black’s portrait.

“OH SHUT IT YOU INCESTUOUS BITCH!” Those that can lean towards the doorway to look down the hall, seeing Severus Snape having a glaring match with the now silent portrait.

“Sev?” Sirius calls, Severus looks over, glaring at the portrait once more before shutting the curtains and walking up the hallway to the others.  Severus frowns when he sees Remus and walks over, taking Molly’s place beside him and looking seriously at him.

He raises an eyebrow, Remus just nods, Severus nods back.

“What are you doing here?” Sirius asks.

“I heard about the search, came to make sure you’re okay.” Remus smiles faintly and nods, “Lucius mentioned Blaise is staying with me next time Bitch-fest runs off?” Remus sighs and nods.

“If they’re afta me then is not safe fr’meh to be lookin’ afta him.”

“I’ll take him to the place with the thing, if you meet us there we can talk about it together so that he understands what’s going on,” Severus suggests, Remus nods, “Tomorrow?” Remus nods again.

“You said he was helping that Pansy kid with Latin, right?  Does that mean you speak it fluently?” Sirius asks, Severus looks confused but nods, Sirius hands him the parchment. 

“Can’t you?” Sirius huffs.

“I don’t speak Latin properly.  My parents wanted to so instead I got a tutor and learned Finnish to spite them.” Severus freezes, looking at him, and then turns to Remus, face twitching.

“One of these days, Remus Lupin, one of these freaking days.” Remus smiles sheepishly at him.

“I only wann-ed him ta have summun to talk to, he was complainin’ no one else speaks Finnish.”

“So you just decided to learn an entire damned language so that he’d have someone to talk to in what has to be the most useless language?” Severus asks incredulously.

“Yup.” Severus looks at him for a moment before he just sighs, shaking his head and turning back to the parchment.  He reads it, frowning more with every sentence he goes through.

“You learnt Finnish for me?” Sirius asks, Remus shrugs.

“You did ris’rch for meh.”

“Did you know about that at the time?”

“Well…no…”

“How did you even know I speak Finnish?”

“You mentionnit once when you woz high,” Remus replies, Molly looks at him disapprovingly, Sirius shrinks under the gaze.

“Well that was depressing, what exactly did I just read?”  Severus asks a moment later.

“A diary,” Sirius tells him, he gives him an annoyed look.

“Yes, that’s rather obvious, whose?” Sirius rolls his eyes.

“We don’t know, we were hoping being able to read it would tell us,” Hermione tells him, Severus opens his mouth to say something that Remus is sure was going to be rude, so he elbows him.

“Ouch,” He says as he coughs, the breath knocked out of him.

“Whassit say?” Remus asks him, putting his feet on the ground but wrapping his arms around himself still, Severus frowns at his ex-husband.

“Are you drunk?”  He’s really so used to hearing Remus like this over the years that it didn’t click into his head until right now.

“A lil.”

“Understatement,” Jamie comments, “Haven’t seen him this bad in a while Daddle,” She tells him, looking concerned.  He gives Remus a look, but Remus just waves a hand dismissively. Severus looks back to the page before him.

“22nd of what will one day be January, I have failed once more, three months of work wasted.  If I am ever to escape him I must complete my work and leave this castle, and the other three, far behind me.  I can only hope Merek and Ayleth forgive their father this, but I must protect them, and this is the only way,” He reads the first entry, the others exchange looks, looking concerned.

“Merek and Ayleth, why does that sound familiar?” Ron asks Hermione quietly who frowns in thought.

“I was wondering the same thing,” She whispers back.

“Are you two quite finished?” The two lean away from each other again, falling silent.  Severus goes back to the page, “24th of January, I am close, I know it.  Soon my love, soon they will be safe and I long gone.  He won’t ever find them.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Sirius comments, Molly shakes her head in agreement, Severus sighs.

“It’s about to get worse,” He tells them, “30th of January, it’s done, but it did not work as expected.  My creation, it’s horrific, even by my standards.  What happened, it’s all my fault.  I must hide it, no one can ever be allowed to find it.  Forgive me my love, my children, forgive me.”

“That’s it?” Sturgis asks after Severus doesn’t continue, “What’s on the back?” Severus turns it over, frowning at it and then a rather impressed look comes over his face.

“Early workings of a potion.”

“I think we know what it became,” Sirius says, looking at Remus who is holding the necklace up and looking at it.

“What do you think happened to him?  What went wrong with the potion?” Ginny asks, Remus sighs, looking at Sirius who nods.

“I imagine he intended to protect his children by creating copies, using them as a diversion to escape with the two.  What went wrong is that this potion doesn’t create copies.”

“It will be real, but it is destroyed,” Sirius says quietly, Remus sighs.

“The potions, it grows a copy of a person, but it copies everything. Their minds their thoughts their belief their memories, it makes another _them_ , not just in likeness but in everything.  Two of one cannot exist.”

“That’s what you meant, when you said you’d have had to kill James,” Molly says, Remus and Sirius nod solemnly.

“If he tested this on his children then…” Ron begins, Hermione sighs and nods.

“He may very well have had to kill them, or perhaps they killed each other.”

“If he was so sure it must be hidden, how did the brewing instructions end up in a book along with a warning?” Ginny asks.

“And why were the instructions on how to use it in English?” Remus wonders, “And Molly did you spike my drink with a sober-up potion?” He asks, she nods, completely unrepentant as she takes the drink from him and hands him some tea, he grumbles into the teacup.  Severus pats his shoulder, he leans into it slightly, no one comments on it or on the soft smile Severus sends him.

“Clearly someone found the book and brewed the potion,” Ginny tells him, “Someone from more modern times.”

“How’d the book end up in Hogwarts, why hide the potion in the wall?”

“Whoever wrote the note may not have made the potion,” Ginny says, Remus nods, looking intrigued.

“But how did they work out how to use the potion?”

“And seriously, how did it end up in a book?” Ginny and Remus look at each other as they both frown in thought, the rest of the room looking on in amusement and confusion.

“To be honest, I’m a little more concerned about how you-know-who ended up with the bloody page,” Ron says, Hermione nods.

“Even that’s not the real question though, is it?” She says, Ron looks at her in confusion, she huffs and rolls her eyes, “Weren’t you listening?  This potion is barely mentioned in it.  There’s no way you-know-who worked out what he was talking about without more information.  So, where did he get the page, and what else was around?”  The table all looks confused, thinking everything they know over.

“This is usually when Harry just happens upon the next piece of the puzzle,” Ron comments to the twins who look amused at that, especially because Harry and Arthur arrive back at that moment.

“Harry!” Sirius greets happily, hugging him briefly.

“How’d it go?” Ron asks immediately.

“It’s done, but it did not work as expected,” Harry tells them, everyone looks at him in shock.

“Told ya,” Ron says, the twins snort.

“Now now Ronnikins, he hasn’t said anything helpful yet.”

“Oh for goodness sakes, all three of you!  Harry, have you been expelled?” Harry shakes his head, though he looks confused.

“What’s going on?” Severus sighs, grabbing the sheet of parchment and the pen that Remus had previously given to Sirius, and writing down the translation before handing it over to Harry who reads through it.

“What is this?”

“A diary,” Hermione tells him, he puts it on the table and steps back, rubbing his hands on his shirt like they’ve been covered in some vile substance.  He’d had bloody enough of mysterious diaries thank you very much!  He frowns, scratching his head.

“What’s wrong?” Sirius asks, he sighs.

“Merek and Ayleth, those names sound familiar somehow.”

“That’s what Ron and Miss Granger said,” Remus tells him.

“It’s bloody Nicolas Flamel all over again,” Ron complains.

“Somehow Ron, I don’t think the answer is going to be on a chocolate frog card this time,” Harry tells him.

“The fact that Ron’s heard of them certainly makes it seem likely,” Hermione says, Ron looks at her in annoyance.

“Oi!”  Harry rolls his eyes at them both as he sits and thinks.

“Please don’t obsess over this like you do everything else,” Hermione requests, he sighs and nods.

“I’m not obsessing.”

 

Ten minutes of idle chatter later, Harry grabs the translation.

“Okay but listen –”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake Harry!”

“I know Ron, but hear me out,” He requests, the two turn to listen to him, “What if you’re right, Ron?”

“You’ve missed half your train of thought again Mate.”

“About it being like Nicolas Flamel, what if that’s where we heard the names?  We read tons of book while searching for him, we must’ve read hundreds of names inside them.”

“You aren’t going to make me read them _again,_ are you?”

“They’re at school Ron,” Harry reminds him, Ron shakes his head.

“No.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking it!”

“No I wasn’t!”

“Well you were about to!”  Ron and Harry look at each other before suddenly Harry’s eyes light up, “No!” He slumps.

“Fine.” Hermione sighs and shakes her head at them, then looks at the parchment in Harry’s hand.

“It’s curious, isn’t it?”

“What?” Harry asks, she takes the paper from him.

“Well, he says he needs to leave the castle, and the other three.  How many castles do we know with four people involved?” Harry and Ron look at each other and then to her, she sighs and shakes her head, “No, we don’t have enough information to make that leap.”

“But it makes sense, doesn’t it? ‘Horrific even for me’.”

“Harry, you can’t just blame Slytherin house every time something happens that sounds bad.  Besides, someone after him?  Godric Gryffindor is just as likely to have made enemies.”

“Yeah but he wouldn’t have run away,” Ron points out, Hermione glares at him.

“What about the experimenting with magic, potions and stuff.”

“Just because the last two potions masters at the school have been the head of Slytherin, doesn’t mean Salazar himself was interested in such things.”

“Besides, who’d have had children with _him_?” Ron suddenly asks, both Harry and Hermione look at him like he’s an idiot.

“How could he possibly have an heir if he doesn’t have any children?”

“Let’s look at this logically, there’s two blokes which means two options-”

“You’re still assuming it’s one of the founders of Hogwarts.”

“Oh come on Hermione, when have I ever been wrong?”

“You spent most of first year thinking Snape was trying to kill you when, in actual fact, he was trying to save you!” Harry frowns.

“Name one other time I’ve been wrong.”

“Second year when you were _so_ certain Malfoy was the heir to Slytherin.”  Harry goes to open his mouth again when she butts in, “Third year when you thought Sirius was trying to kill you.”

“Everyone thought that!  Besides, Ron’s the one that mentioned Malfoy to begin with, and it’s hardly _my_ fault the man who hated me just happened to always be sitting beside the one possessed by Voldemort, how was I to know the difference?”

“Last year you thought Karkaroff put your name in the Goblet.”

“Was I _supposed_ to guess it was a Death Eater disguised as my Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor?”

“Would you like me to start listing the idiotic things you done that you _should_ have guessed would go wrong?  The duel with Malfoy, jumping on the back of that troll, having Lockhart go with you to the Chamber, your plan to murder Sirius, you…” She trails off, looking down at the original page, “Harry…”

“Yeah?” He asks, apparently having moved on from the argument entirely.

“What’s that say?”  He looks down at it, frowning in confusion.

“It’s gone.”

“I think you may have been right after all.”

“You what?” Ron asks, Hermione points to what Harry just read, showing it to Ron, “Oh.  Well what’s it mean, ‘it’s gone’?”

“I’d assume it means the potion’s gone, that would certainly explain a lot.”

“What potion, and what are you two talking about?” Harry asks.

“Those words, they’re written in Parseltongue.”  Looking at it now, Harry can see that it looks like squiggles, yet he can still understand it.

“Snakes can’t write, why’ve they got a written language?” Harry asks, Hermione frowns.

“I was reading something about that yesterday, that’s what made me realise this could be writing.”

“Oh she was reading was she?  What a surprise,” Ron says, Hermione glares at him before looking back to Harry.

“Merlin created the language, charming it to be understood only by Parselmouths.  He was good with sounds, he created silencing charms you know.”

“So we’ve got a page out of Salazar Slytherin’s diary, some potion that does something horrific, and reason to believe Slytherin’s decision to leave Hogwarts might not be what we all thought,” Harry sums up, the other two nod.

“How did you _do_ that?” Sirius asks them, they look up to see most of the table looking at them in surprise, they seem confused, “You just _happened_ to read the very book you needed to, we _happened_ to have someone with the exceptionally rare gift that we need to be able to read that, those two _happened_ to be stubborn about a particular passing thought and it ends up being right?”

“That sort of thing happens to us a lot,” Harry tells him, Ron suddenly looks concerned.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” He says, “You know what you were saying about it being a rare gift?” Sirius nods, “Who’s the only other person we know who has it?”

“Voldemort?”

“And who had the page before we did?” Hermione asks as it clicks in her head.

“Voldemort,” Remus comments, sounding rather done with life.

“This still doesn’t explain where we know the names from.  Merek and Ayleth, I mean, where would we have heard names like _that_?”  The three frown at each other, then Harry looks up.

“Why is everyone here?”

“We’re waiting on Dumbledore, he came to check on Remus,” Tonks explains, gesturing to the table and then to Severus.

“Are you all right?” Harry asks his former-Professor who nods.

“My home was searched, but I wasn’t there.”

“Why were they looking for you?”

“They weren’t, they were looking for this,” He says, holding up the necklace.

“We’re reasonably sure it’s the potion this is referring to,” Ginny tells him.

“I still want to know how _he_ knows that,” Severus says, frowning.

“Oh, oh, oh, oh, we are all of us a bunch of idiots,” Tonks says suddenly, taking the page from the kids and casting the spell to find the author, the same one Remus used on a note from Dumbledore.  It shows that it was, in fact, written by Salazar Slytherin.

“Yeah we’re…what is you used to say Remus, something about a cup or something?” Remus chuckles.

“Mug, Sirius.  The word is Mug.”

“Please don’t get him speaking like that again,” Severus all but begs of Sirius who chuckles.

“Did you say Lockhart earlier?” Sirius asks Hermione who nods, Severus and Remus both turn to Sirius, arms crossed and looking far too amused.

“Yes, speaking of!” Remus begins.

“So guess who taught DADA three years ago?” Severus asks, Sirius sighs.

“Gilderoy Lockhart?”

“Gilderoy Lockhart!  And guess who was a complete and total fraud who had been obliviating people and claiming their victories as his own?” Remus asks, Sirius seems shocked and…then not so shocked.

“Gilderoy Lockhart?”

“And then!  Guess who attempted to obliviate Harry and Ron?” Severus asks, Sirius looks angry on their behalf.

“Gilderoy Lockhart,” He bites out.

“And finally, guess who was a useless twat like always and obliviated himself instead?” Sirius eyes light up, a smirk on his face.

“Oh please be Gilderoy Lockhart!” All three of them laugh.

“You know, I’m sure we could find out where he is, if you want to visit,” Severus tells Sirius who glares at him.

“You don’t want to see if the power of your love can restore his memories?” Remus asks him, Sirius glares harder.

“Perhaps true love’s kiss?” Severus adds.

“I will murder both of you in your sleep.” Remus and Severus look at each other for a moment before they completely lose. Their. Shit, “What did I just walk into there?” Sirius asks, but Severus has already dropped to his knees, Remus with his face in the table, and both barely breathing.

“I believe they’re laughing like that because Severus _doesn_ _’_ _t_ sleep.  As in physiologically is incapable of the act,” Tonks explains.

“How can he be incapable of it?”

“I’ll leave that for them to explain.”

“There are some things I never thought I’d see,” Fred comments, watching the two still laughing.  Jamie seems just as shocked, she’s only seen her Dad laugh like this once, it reminds Sirius of her comment about Remus not really being one for laughter.  He wonders what’s changed.  He doesn’t know it’s him that’s made the difference.

“Can we get back to Sirius kissing Gilderoy Lockhart?” Hermione requests, looking horrified, Sirius groans, dropping his face into his hands.

“That was all Remus’ fault.  Decided to set me up on a date with the blasted peacock.”  Remus near instantly sobers from his laughing fit, Severus attempting to calm himself as well, though not quite succeeding.

“I only did that to make you snap and admit you lied to me.”

“This again, Remus I never lied to you!”

“So you _actually_ had a crush on Gilderoy for what, five years?” Sirius sighs.

“All right, that was a lie.” Remus nods.

“That’s all I wanted to hear.”

“Remus…listen the truth was –”

“Ah good, you’re all here,” Albus says as he walks into the room.

“Seriously?!” Ron asks, then his eyes widen and he covers his mouth, looking horrified.

“De ja vu,” Emmeline comments before looking to Albus.

“I’ve just been informed of who is taking the Defence position, and it’s as I feared it would be.”

“What are you talking about, Old Man?” Remus asks, sounding rather short on patience, Albus gives him a quelling look, he doesn’t back down.

“Dolores Umbridge.” The room goes silent and still, everyone looking to Remus as he shrugs out of Severus’ grip on his shoulder.  Severus doesn’t fight to keep it.

“How’d you know it would happen?” Remus asks him, Albus’ eyes flick to Severus and back.

“A reliable source told me it might happen at some point in the near future.” Remus nods, understanding that Severus had a vision of it.

“This year is going to be bad, isn’t it?” Harry asks nervously, no one denies it.

McGonagall arrives back with the book which she hands to Remus and then takes a seat.

“Umbridge is teaching DADA this year,” Ginny tells her, she looks to Albus in shock, the man merely nods to her.

“There’s some things you should know Sir,” Kingsley tells him, Dumbledore looks at him, he nods to the other end of the table.

Sirius explains what happened at Remus’ place, then everything that happened since.  Albus looks at Harry and then just nods to the others.

“Keep working on it,” He says, then goes to leave.

“Oh, and Sir,” Remus calls out, Albus turns back around to look at him, “The non-human spiritous apparition, I think I have a lead on what it might be.” Albus nods, then leaves, “Guess that’s the end of the conversation then.”

“He does that,” Minerva tells him, he grins at her, she chuckles.

“I suppose we can leave now,” Emmeline says, the others nod and start going.

“You know you’re staying here, right?” Sirius asks Remus who nods, “Actually, Moons, can I talk to you for a minute?” Remus looks at him in concern but nods, following him out of the room and up the stairs to his room.

“What’s wrong Padfoot?” Sirius looks at him for a moment, hand in his pocket and thumbing at the envelope he’d found with Peter’s handwriting, debating.

“Thank you for today,” He says at last, Remus smiles at him, a strangely sad look on his face.

“You’re most welcome.  How was it?” Sirius can’t help the smile that takes over his face.

“She knew it was me,” He replies, Remus’ eyes widen.

“How?” Sirius shrugs.

“I don’t know, she just did.  I’m not really surprised to be honest, seems like a very Del thing to do.” Remus nods, clearing his throat slightly.

“That it does.”

“So what brought on the binge drink?” He just smiles.

“It is sort of what I do Padfoot.”

He heads back out to the others before Sirius has a chance to call him out on his bullshit.

 

 

The next morning Remus sneaks out of Grimmauld place and goes to St Mungos.

“Wolfie!” Bridget greets as he walks into the hospital room, he smiles.

“Hey Budgie, how are you feeling?” She shrugs.

“Tired but otherwise fine, modern medicine am I right?” He chuckles, “I should be heading home today.”

“That’s good.”

“Hey, shouldn’t you be at work?  Because if you’re playing hookie, going to visit your boss may not be the best way to go about it.” The two laugh about that, then he smiles sadly and shakes his head.  He walks over to the bassinet beside her bed, looking in and seeing the baby awake.

“Hi there Rema,” He says quietly, Bridget smiles at him as he strokes the baby’s head, “I came here to tell you I quit.”

“I’m sorry, you what?!” He sighs as he turns to look at her, not moving the finger that Rema is now holding in one fist.

“It’s…complicated.  But it’s not safe for me to be around.”

“If this is you freaking out about being a Werewolf near a baby, then go into that draw there and read the speech about it I wrote in preparation.” He chuckles at that, somehow not surprised she’d anticipated that may be a problem.

“No, it’s not that.  I have th…” Remus trails off, closing his eyes against the familiar pain before clearing his throat and continuing, “I have two kids and I’ve helped raise a bunch of more, it’s never been a problem before.”

“Then what _is_ the problem?” He looks down at his newest God-Daughter, tears in his eyes.

“Death Eaters are looking for me.  I made sure no one knows where I work, but I can’t risk someone following me somehow.  I promised I’d look after your daughter no matter what it costs, so that’s what I’m going to do.  Bridge, if you need me, I will be there in a heartbeat.  As soon as things calm down I will come by with a bunch of presents and deserts and do the whole spoil the God-Daughter thing, but I can’t risk you all.  It’s too dangerous.”  When he looks up again, he sees her crying, he goes over and takes her hand.

“Peter won’t be happy,” She tells him in a whisper, he nods.

“No, but he’ll know it’s coming.  Or at the very least won’t be surprised.”  She nods, “I promise, as soon as I can, I’ll come home.”  She nods again.

“Hold her, please.  I want a photo and I want you to have a photo.”  He nods, picking up the baby and allowing her to take the picture with the camera she’d had Peter bring.  She makes two copies of the picture with magic before handing one to him, “Come home, soon.”  He nods as he places a kiss on the baby’s head, then on Bridget’s before putting the baby down.

“Tell the others I said goodbye.” She nods, and then he’s gone.

 

He puts the photo in his jacket pocket along with the other one, when he enters the house again he hears sobbing and rushes upstairs.

“Molly?” Remus asks as he sees Harry leading her out of one of the bedrooms.

“There’s a Boggart in there, can you deal with it?  Sirius doesn’t think it’s a good idea for him to enter the room.” Remus nods, walking over to the room Sirius is standing outside of, the same one Harry and Molly just left.

“In there?” Sirius nods, Remus walks in and opens the cupboard.  He hears footsteps of someone joining Sirius but ignores it.  The Boggart exits the cupboard, only it isn’t the moon, not anymore.

“Remus is-is that me?” Sirius asks from behind him, because it is indeed.

“It would appear so, yes.  Which is odd, because I can quite honestly say I am not afraid of you,” Remus states calmly, sounding very confused.  Which is fair enough, since when can a Boggart get it wrong?

“Oh aren’t you?” Boggart-Sirius asks, Remus looks at it in confusion as he hears the others enter the room to watch this, though they stay behind him, Boggart-Sirius grins, “I know your secret,” He sing-songs, Remus’ breath catches in his throat, he takes an involuntary step backwards, “He’ll find out eventually, you know,” He says, nodding towards the real Sirius, “We both know he’ll never forgive you this.  How long do you think before he uncovers the truth?  How long will you stand and be his _friend_ while you lie and deceive him?  Well?  Look at me _Moony_ , I KNOW THE TRUTH, I AM YOUR FUTURE! I am _his_ future.  And let me tell you, I will gladly hand all three of them over to Voldemort, and after this, I’ll hand you over t–”

“RIDDIKULUS!” Remus shouts, the Boggart-Sirius suddenly has tentacles instead of legs and starts screaming and freaking out because tentacles, while the real Sirius starts screaming and freaking out because tentacles and because,

“OH MY GOD IT’S ME WITH TENTACLES, MOONY WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS HOLY FUCK MAKE IT GO AWAY MAKE IT GO AWAY NOW I HAVE A NEW BLOODY BOGGART OF MY OWN!” Remus, Ginny, Tonks, the twins, Ron, and Hermione start laughing at both Sirius’, eventually driving the Boggart off entirely, “God do not _ever_ do that again you fucking twat-fest!” Sirius demands of Remus who is still chuckling at him, “What the hell was that?” He looks to Remus who instantly sobers, taking a step away from Sirius before shaking himself and walking out of the room.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT?!” Sirius all but screams at him as they walk down the stairs, Remus sighs, “Are you seriously under the impression that we aren’t going to talk about this?!”

“It would certainly be preferable, but no Padfoot, even _I_ _’_ _m_ not _that_ oblivious to fact.”

“Then what the hell?!” Remus walks into the kitchen, “REMUS JOHN LUPIN YOU GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND TALK TO ME!”

“Oh is _that_ what the J stands for?” Hermione casually comments, both men look at her, she shrinks into herself as she takes a seat at the table.  Remus pours himself a large drink before turning back to Sirius and leaning against the counter.

“Yes Padfoot?”

“Your worst fear is apparently me finding out about some secret you’re keeping, and all you have to say is _yes Padfoot_?!”

“If my worst fear is you finding out about something, do you really think I’m just going to tell you?  Be serious…Sirius.”

“Do NOT make a pun of my name right now! Dammit talk to me!  Whatever is going on, it can’t possibly be as bad as you think.”

“Sirius, nothing is going on.  My worst fear isn’t you finding out about a secret, it’s _having_ one.  All my life I’ve had to hide so many things, my fears are always people finding out.  But you, you never look down on me for anything.  You are the most compassionate, understanding, and accepting individual I have ever met, despite also being a complete prat.  Of course my worst fear is you finally uncovering something that has you reacting exactly like I have predicted you would to everything else.  My worst fear isn’t you knowing some secret Padfoot, it’s me losing you over…over anything.” Sirius stares at him for a moment before walking up and bitch slapping him to the complete shock of the rest of the room.

“Sirius!” Molly calls, aghast.  Sirius pushes a finger into Remus’ chest threateningly.

“You hide something that terrible from me, and now you have the gall to not only lie to me about it, but to use our friendship and everything good about it to try and get out of telling me?  How _dare_ you?” Remus looks at him incredulously for a moment, then he straightens himself up and looks Sirius in the eye.

“Would you forgive me anything, Sirius?” Sirius nods.

“In a heartbeat.” Remus nods.

“Then it shouldn’t matter what I’m hiding.”  Remus goes to leave the room when Sirius grabs his arm.

“I really hope whatever it is, it’s worth all this.” Remus quirks an odd sort of half-smile.

“It is to me.” Sirius nods.

“Then I’m glad, that whatever it is, you’ve found something worth fighting for.” Remus gives a breathy sort of chuckle.

“I found that a long time ago Padfoot, on a boat in Scotland when someone needed backup to fight off expectations.” Sirius smiles.

“I love you too Moony."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *St Mungos’ full name is St Mungos Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, none of which makes it seem as though they cater to childbirth, that being said, I can’t find any reference to another medical centre in the wizarding world at all. So I’ve put in St Mungos, but that may not fit in with what J.K. Rowling intended the hospital to be.


	54. ...Getting From There To Here...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone very helpfully pointed out that I fucked Flubber's pronouns up. Whoops. That's now been fixed but, sorry about that!

Chapter 54

 **_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

 

_Ding._

_“_ _Hey Wolfie, can you take that customer?_ _”_ _Flubber requests from where xe is facing away from the door, stocking up a shelf._

 _“_ _Yep,_ _”_ _Remus calls back, walking out to the front,_ _“_ _Hi, how can_ _–”_ _Remus freezes, dropping the clipboard he had been holding with a loud clatter.  The man before him freezes, eyes wide with fear._

 _“_ _Oh crap_ _…”_ _Remus snarls._

 _“_ _You stupid traitorous son of a_ _–”_

 _“_ _Remus!  What is going on here?!_ _”_ _Bridget asks, walking out of the back room and seeing Remus taking a rather threatening stance before the man._

 _“_ _Do you have any idea who this is?!_ _”_

 _“_ _All are welcome here Remus._ _”_ _Remus opens his mouth to argue but she holds up a hand,_ _“_ All _are welcome here._ _”_ _She then walks over to the man,_ _“_ _Especially him,_ _”_ _She tells Remus as she takes the man_ _’_ _s hand in hers and kisses him sweetly for a moment, though the effect is negated by him watching Remus warily the whole time,_ _“_ _Now do one of you want to explain what_ _’_ _s going on here?_ _”_

 _“_ _Do you remember me telling you about the Marauders?_ _”_ _Bridget nods, Peter Pettigrew points to Remus,_ _“_ _Moony._ _”_

 _“_ _Oh._ _”_ _She looks between the two awkwardly._

 _“_ _You have no idea what he_ _’_ _s done!_ _”_ _Remus states, voice dangerous, Bridget stands in front of her lover, one hand holding his and the other on her pregnant_ _*_ _stomach._

 _“_ _I do, actually._ _”_ _Remus goes to continue but Peter interrupts._

 _“_ _I told her Remus.  Whatever you are about to say, I_ _’_ _ve told her.  All of it.  Even things you don_ _’_ _t know._ _”_

 _“_ _Remus, listen_ _–”_ _Bridget begins saying, but Remus doesn_ _’_ _t let her finish._

 _“_ _No!  No, I_ _’_ _m calling a damned Auror is what I_ _’_ _m doing!_ _”_

 _“_ _You do that and my daughter grows up without a father!_ _”_ _Remus freezes, he_ _’_ _d never heard her speak like that before,_ _“_ _Three children have already grown up without their parents because of this, please don_ _’_ _t make it four._ _”_

 _“_ _Is everything all right?_ _”_ _Flubber asks, walking over.  Peter looks at his feet, Bridget look at Remus imploringly._

 _“_ _Peachy,_ _”_ _He grits out before he walks out of the store._

_Bridget and Peter barely sleep for three days, waiting for Aurors to appear at any minute, but nobody comes._

_It_ _’_ _s a week before Remus shows up again._

 _“_ _That kid deserves better than you._ _”_ _Peter looks up from the register, locking eyes with him and crossing his arms._

 _“_ _But?_ _”_ _Remus_ _’_ _whole body is taut, hands clenching and unclenching spasmodically._

 _“_ _Too many lives have already been fucked up because of you.  This kid_ _’_ _s won_ _’_ _t be one of them.  One fucking rat-toe out of line and you_ _’_ _ll be missing a lot more than a finger._ _”_

“So I brought you that shoebox you wanted, but um, do you want to tell me why there’s a batch of Polyjuice potion in your basement?  And…did you still need it?” Tonks asks, snapping Remus out of his memories, he looks up and smiles sheepishly as he takes the shoebox from her.  He decides to sidestep whatever mishap took place that made it unusable, it’s Tonks after all, she probably tripped and upended all of it.

“I wanted Sirius to be able to see his wife.”

“Del Black, right?” Remus looks at her in surprise, she flushes slightly, “I had to look into his history after he escaped.  I also know about his children and…I can’t help but notice that Harry doesn’t.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“Why?” Remus sighs.

“I don’t know anymore.”

 

Remus finds Sirius sitting in his room, he walks in and shuts the door.

“Well that’s ominous.”

“Why haven’t you told Harry he’s not James’ son?  That he’s yours?” Sirius looks at him in bewilderment.

“He can’t know!  You know that!”

“I know that that made sense fifteen years ago, not so much anymore.  Tom knows the truth, and he’s being targeted regardless of who his parents are.  He’s in more danger not knowing the truth, and if he should somehow find out from Voldemort and his merry band of Death Eaters instead of you, you may very well have lost him forever.” Sirius looks sullen.

“Remus, Lucius told me about your concerns of me losing memories.  I think by now we both know I have.” Remus frowns in confusion but nods, “How am I to explain to my Son that I don’t remember holding him, ever?  How am I to explain that I can’t remember a thing of the day his sister was born, that I don’t even remember what she looked like.  How am I to tell him that when I left Azkaban, when I saw him in the shack, I wasn’t even fully aware that he was my Son.  I couldn’t keep straight in my head if he was mine, James’, or Tom’s.”

“You explain to him that you didn’t know, but regardless your first instinct was to protect him.  You tell him that you don’t remember holding him, but it’s such an important part of your life that you’ve noticed the glaring gap without prompting.  You say that you have had the memory of his sister’s birthday drained out of you, and her appearance, because having her and his Mother and him with you was the single best moment of your life, the happiest, and one the Dementors would obviously have targeted.  You admit that things aren’t perfect, but one thing you have never forgotten is that he means the world to you, and you love him, because that’s more than he’s had so far and he deserves it.”

“He deserves better!” Sirius suddenly snaps, Remus blinks at him.

“What?”

“Don’t you see Remus?  Right now he’s an orphan to two of the best people to ever exist.  James and Lily Potter are his parents, people sing their praises.  How can I claim to love my son if I’d take that from him and stick him with a fugitive, a convict, a Black, with me?” Remus moves to sit beside him on his bed.

“Yes, how could anyone want to be related to the man who tamed a Werewolf?  The same man who survived twelve years in Azkaban without losing his mind, anymore than he already had anyway,” Remus says, Sirius scoffs slightly, elbowing him, Remus chuckles, nudging him, “I’m se-for real Padfoot, you are the single most amazing person I have ever met.  For fuck’s sake, you did research to answer a question I had about silencing charms and remembered both the answer and the book you found it in six years later.  You survived living in this god awful place through sheer force of will alone, and came out of it someone I still look up to, someone _he_ can look up to.  You have more strength in you than you know and it shows in not only you, but the people around you as well.  Do you think the people Severus and I were when we all first met would have been capable of blindly believing someone innocent for _twelve years_ despite all evidence to the contrary?  Do you think we did that on a whim?  We did it because we believed you, I believed in you, and I always will.  Harry will too.  He would be thrilled to know you’re his Father, and I really think you should give him that chance.”  Sirius is silent for a while before he nods.

“I will think about it.” Remus smiles, clapping him on the back as he gets up.

“That’s all I ask, now come on, I want to see if the Golden Trio has somehow solved our mystery yet.  Severus and I have placed bets on how long it takes them.”

“You know Moony, with uplifting speeches like the one you just gave me, you should be a teacher,” Sirius tells him with a smirk, Remus laughs as they walk out of the room.

 

A month after the children return to school, Remus is woken up early in the morning by a ruckus downstairs, he goes down and finds the Order all convening.

“Ah, Remus, would you mind waking Sirius?” Dumbledore requests, Remus raises an eyebrow but dutifully goes to the bottom of the stairs.

“DAVID BOWIE CAN’T SING FOR SHIT!” Everyone looks confused until they hear a thump and a slam from upstairs.

“ALL RIGHT LISTEN UP YOU UNCULTURED _SWINE_ YO-oh for Merlin’s sake Moony, you couldn’t have just jumped on me to wake me up like a normal person?” Sirius grumbles after all but leaping down the stairs to face the man attacking greatness.

“But this way works so much better!” Sirius glares as he enters the kitchen to find everyone there.

“What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’m about to explain, if you’d all have a seat,” Albus requests, everyone does so, looking as confused as Remus feels.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Dedalus?” Tonks asks, Albus looks rather sad, sadder than Remus has seen him save for the day James and Lily died.  Tonks couldn’t know that.  This war is still new, like she is, she doesn’t understand.

“How?” Sirius asks, breaking the silence that had fallen over the table, Albus sighs.  He looks up when they hear the floo activate, Severus comes in looking harried.

“Did you find anything more?” Albus asks him immediately, Severus gives the Headmaster a rather lost expression as he shakes his head.

“Nothing we didn’t already know.  He’s keeping very quiet about it, even to me.”

“Does he know then?” Severus sighs, rubbing at his forehead momentarily.

“I don’t know, if he does he’s done nothing to give it away.  I’ve set myself up rather well so I doubt it but, well, it doesn’t matter either way.” Albus looks extremely tired, nodding gravely and gesturing for Severus to take a seat, he does.

“Albus, what’s going on?” Minerva asks, she’d been extremely surprised when Albus had insisted on her coming despite the school term having begun.

“Dedalus Diggle was killed last night, checking on an informant who was also killed.  The identity and location of said informant was known to fewer people than sit in this room.  Along with Dedalus’ plans to check on him.” Everyone looks around in confusion, unsure or perhaps unwilling to understand what he’s hinting at.

“What he’s trying to say is, we have a spy in the ranks.  Again.”  The room is chaos after Severus’ words, Remus has a moment to wonder what’s different now given that the last time such words were uttered it was met with a grim silence.  Perhaps it is merely how short this war has been so far, they all still hope for a clean and quick ending.  Remus puts his feet on his chair and hugs his legs, chin resting on his knees as he tries to remain calm.

“I’d like to ask, is anyone in here a spy?” Everyone looks at Albus like he’s an idiot whilst simultaneously shaking their heads or voicing the negative.  It’s as Remus takes another sip of the tea that had been placed on the table that he gets a whiff of it and puts it down, glaring at Dumbledore who has the decency to look sheepish.

“As Remus has just worked out,” Albus begins admitting, surprising Remus as the others look between the two in confusion, “The tea and coffee on the table was laced with veritaserum.”

“I’m not even going to bother pointing out how unethical that is,” Sirius tells him, the sentiment being felt all around the table.

“Severus didn’t drink any,” Sturgis says suddenly, “Not that I think it’s you, mate, just trying to cover all bases.”

“Plus with everyone else saying otherwise, that only leaves you,” Arthur says rather dubiously, Remus shakes his head.

“Not everyone answered.”

“So let’s go around the table and answer now.”

“Werewolf metabolism, we didn’t put much in, it’ll already have worn off,” Moody tells them all, they don’t look surprised that he was in on the drugging.

“Oh no, Remus has to drink more tea, whatever will he do?” Sirius asks, the sarcasm dripping from every pore of his body.  Remus rolls his eyes and drink a large gulp of tea.

“Ah, still hot,” He says, coughing and then clearing his throat, “I am not a spy,” Remus states clearly, they all look relieved.  They go around the table, all saying the same until it gets back to Severus.

“Severus, would you please have a drink of either tea or coffee,” Albus requests, Remus and Severus lock eyes in a slight panic.

“I would really rather not,” Severus says slowly, wincing at how guilty that sounds, “I don’t suppose you have more of the actual potion and I can just drink it straight?”

“No, we put it all in the drinks,” Moody replies, Remus and Sirius exchange dubious looks, unsure they believe him, but say nothing of it.  Remus looks to Severus who grimaces.

“It’s just that…I can’t drink it,” Severus explains, they look confused, “Zombie,” He reminds them, “I can’t digest food or drink of this sort.”

“Will it kill you?” Moody asks, sounding exasperated.

“No it’ll make me puke, a lot.”

“Great, drink it.”

“Alastor!” Remus objects, Albus holds a hand up to stop him, Remus turns his glare on him instead.  Sirius grabs his shirt and pulls him to sit back down, he hadn’t even noticed he’d stood up.

“Which would you rather, being sick, or having everyone think you’re the spy?” Sirius asks him calmly.  He obviously didn’t believe it, but was attempting to remain calm, knowing Remus wouldn’t.  Severus looks nauseated by the very idea, seeing as he’s essentially poisoning himself, but sighs resignedly.

 _I wonder if this does count as an allergy, his body can_ _’_ _t tolerate it anymore, is that the definition? Come on Remus!  Why are you focusing on this right now?!  It_ _’_ _s the damned Potter cat all over again.  Thought I never did-no stop!_ Remus chastises himself before focusing in as Severus downs his cup of tea, screwing his face up at the taste.

“Right then, Severus, are you a spy?” Albus asks, Severus looks at him like he’s an idiot.

“Yes, it’s literally the mission you gave me.” Albus sighs.

“Poor word choice on my part, have you been giving Voldemort information on the Order?”

“Yes, again, part of the mission you gave me.”  The room looks frustrated, “I am not spying for Voldemort anymore than you have permitted, any information I have handed over is what you have told me is acceptable.  I am not working for him in any capacity outside of the one you laid out for me,” Severus tells Albus who nods, the room seems content with that.  Then Severus looks a little queasy and rushes out of the room.

“Wow, he was not kidding,” Tonks says, Remus rolls his eyes as he goes after his ex-husband.

A few minutes later the two walk back in, Severus looking a tad pale but otherwise no worse for wear.  The Order members all look rather ashamed of themselves for forcing it upon him, now that they know there was no real point.  But at the time, they’d had no other option.

“If it’s none of us, does that mean you were wrong?” Kingsley asks, looking hopeful, Albus and Moody exchange looks.

“No, it means whoever did this has somehow counteracted the effects of veritaserum.”

“Great, nice to know I poisoned myself for no damned reason,” Severus mutters, head resting in his hands, elbows on his knees.  Remus sits on one side of him, rubbing his back soothingly as Sirius ties the man’s hair back with one of his own hair ties, just so he wouldn’t have it hanging in his field of vision and making him feel nauseous again.

“Sorry about that,” Sirius tells him.

“Neither of you took it,” Remus mentions, looking at Albus and Moody.  The room looks at him, a tad disbelievingly, he shrugs, “Just trying to cover all our bases.”  Albus drinks some tea without complaint and answers questions posed.  Afterwards, Remus raises an eyebrow at Alastor challengingly, a tense silence falls over everyone, “If Severus can drink something that is literally poison to him, I think you can manage drinking something not out of your flask.”  The man’s jaw clenches slightly, but Remus doesn’t back down.  It’s not a side of Remus any of them have seen in years.  The closest would have to be when he was trying to get Minerva to retrieve the book from the restricted section, but even that doesn’t reach this.  Then again, given the backbone he used to have, this barely measures up.

Alastor gives in, taking a drink and telling them succinctly that no, he is not the spy, he is not nor has he ever handed information to Voldemort or any of his people, and if anyone asks him anymore than that, he will make sure they never do again.  Got to love truth serum.

“Okay, _now_ they’ve definitely found a way to beat veritaserum,” Sirius says, the others all look nervous.  Remus takes Tonks’ hand, squeezing slightly.  She smiles a little anxiously as she squeezes back.  Neither let go.

“So where do we go from here?” Bill asks, no one seems to know.  Remus can’t help but think that back in the day, this is exactly when Gideon or Fabian would have made some dumb comment to lighten the mood or raise suspicion even higher.  He locks eyes with Molly and see she’s thinking the same thing, he sends her a comforting smile, she smiles back.

“Any insights this time, Lupin?” Mundungus asks, Remus curls in on himself again.  Ever since the war started up again he’s been shifting between moods like this and no one’s sure what’s causing it.  Any time any serious discussion starts up, it’s like walking on egg shells that they don’t have time to carefully tread on.

“A spy…would presumably have contact with Death Eaters…right?” Sirius asks carefully, his hand going into his pocket and thumbing at the envelope he’s kept on him since he discovered it in Remus’ house.

“More than likely, yes,” Arthur agrees, Sirius ignores the expectant looks on people’s faces, pulling his hand out of his pocket again, sans envelope.

“We need to capture one of them, question them,” Emmeline tells them, Severus finally sits up properly, looking significantly better as he shakes his head slightly.

“I genuinely don’t think anyone knows but Voldemort himself,” He tells them, they all seem surprised.

“That would mean that one of us in here is routinely conversing with you-know-who specifically, how could they pull that off with no one noticing?” Hestia asks.

“That wouldn’t really prove too difficult, we all move around often enough for missions and jobs and a lot of us live alone anyway,” Elphias points out, the others nod.

“Who actually knew about Dedalus’ informant?” Remus asks, frowning in thought.

“Myself, Molly, Elphias, Emmeline, Sirius, and Alastor,” Albus replies.

“And who did those people tell?  I’m assuming Arthur, at the very least?” Remus asks, looking to Molly who nods, “Anyone else?” He asks, looking to the others.

“I think I mentioned Dedalus going to meet someone to Tonks?” Sirius says unsurely, she suddenly nods.

“Yes, you did.  I asked where he was off to and you said that, I asked who but you said it was just Order business so I left it alone,” She explains, he nods.

“Does that make that our list of suspects?” Fleur asks, Remus shakes his head.

“It’s not exactly sensitive information that we’d try to keep from others in the house, anyone could have overheard and just not be saying anything.”

“Well then what do we do?” Minerva asks him, assuming there’s a reason the Order members seem intent on turning to Remus for answers instead of Albus despite his inability and mild unwillingness to do so.

“Nothing for now, we have to wait until something more happens, something we can use.”

“Until then all missions, no matter how small, will have three people on them,” Moody declares, everyone agrees.

“While everyone’s here, I was wondering something, well actually, Charlie mentioned it first but that’s not the point,” Tonks begins, everyone looks at her in confusion, “Just that, there are people in the war who feel they have no choice, on the other side I mean.  We were hoping we could somehow find a way to get them out of it,” She tells them nervously, the others seem surprised.

“That’s hardly a priority-”

“Well I think it should be.  Isn’t the whole point of fighting back to protect those that don’t want to join him?” Sturgis stops speaking at her harsh words, everyone seems unsure how to proceed.

“What would you have us do?” Minerva asks the girl, clearly approving of the idea, Tonks seems to hesitate.

“He might not care to force them to help anymore if they were incapable of doing so.  There’s a spell, it’s called a harmful bind –”

“That won’t work, he’s lifted one before he can do it again,” Severus interrupts, Remus and Sirius look at him in surprise.

“He _lifted_ it?”

“You don’t really think Reg would have survived that long in the war if he couldn’t fight back and defend himself, do you?”

“How in the hell could he possibly have lifted it?  That’s impossible!” Sirius states, Remus gives a joyless smirk.

“That’s the thing about the impossible, it’s only so until you work out how to do it.” Severus looks mildly amused at his quoting of Lucius before focusing back to Sirius.

“I don’t know how he did it, he made Regulus tell him about it, though he lied about how it happened, said you cast it on him, anyway he snapped his fingers and the bind lifted,” He explains.

“How did such a spell come to be on young Mister Black?” Albus asks, frowning.  Severus, Sirius, and Remus all look guiltily at each other, “That spell is dangerous, for the victim and the castor, you must know it darkens the soul to use.”

“We know, though I never did notice a change from that in him,” Sirius comments, looking confused, Severus sighs.

“I did.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“That’s probably for the best.”

“Is there anything else that happened within the walls of my castle I should know about?  Because you all seem to have ignored laws and general morality more times than I can count, and of all the times I’ve said you ignored every rule, I never truly realised the extent of that.  Nor that your group all but spat upon the trust your Professors gave you, that _I_ gave you.  I really thought you all better than this, but to cast such a spell on someone…” Minerva tells them, shaking her head and looking rather horrified, the three look extremely ashamed.

“We were trying to protect him.  Trying to stop him from doing anything he’d regret,” Sirius defends weakly, Minerva looks at him, as though scrutinising his very soul, and then scoffs.

“No Mr Black, you were trying to prevent him from doing anything _you_ _’_ _d_ regret.  You do not have the right to decide what another will do, that seems to be something you all struggle to understand.  You act as though you know what’s best for everyone and simply do things without giving anyone a chance.  You assume you know how people will react to things and don’t give them the opportunity to prove you wrong, or right.  You do not get to control anyone else’s life because you think you know what _should_ happen, as though your preferences on how our lives are lived matter.  You have no right to do these things, you never have, and I am sickened to think these are the people we shaped you to be.” The room is filled with an awkward silence before Remus clears his throat.

“Werewolves aren’t mindless beasts, not even on a full moon.” The room looks at him in confusion, both at the sentence and the sudden change in topic, “The wolf is the same as the person, only through a different setting almost.  See when you’re bitten, parts of your personality are given to the wolf, and you only get the bits that bleed through, and for other parts of you it’s the wolf that only gets some.  That can change, you can meld the two parts of you enough that both get all of it, but their instincts are far more animalistic and impulsive, will always be.

“After getting bitten, the wolf knows nothing.  It’s like a newborn, only instead of being loved and nurtured, it is shaped by hatred and fear.  It is never taught or given a chance, it’s only interactions with people are when they are trying to kill it or are screaming in terror.  Sometimes the personality of the wolf can take control while the human part of the brain fades into the background, even outside of a full moon.”  The Order members don’t seem to know how to react to this, Sirius and Severus look nervously at Remus, unsure why he’s saying these things, “Lucius once overheard that Greyback was trying to convince Werewolves to join Voldemort, he mentioned it to Severus who brought it before our group.  We were eleven at the time, but we all began to panic for me, for what may or may not happen in the future.  Severus’ first concern was that they may find some kind of weakness to use against me and others of my kind, one that may give us no choice.

“So we started doing experiments and such to try and find out, on one such occasion, they accidentally brought forth the mind of the wolf.” Gasps are heard in the room, everyone pays close attention to his words now, “Moony was afraid, our first instinct is to protect ourself.  He was surrounded by those who feared him and he knew from experience that fear in others meant he was in grave danger, humans are always like that, dangerous, vicious, beastly.” No one wanted to think on that too hard, “I started advancing on Sirius, but somehow he worked out the truth, that I was just a young wolf with no real understanding of the world I was living in, only knowing hate and fear, a will to survive, and a learnt belief that to do so means all others must be stopped because they will always attack.

“He calmed Moony down, tamed a Werewolf and made it trust him.  Soon enough Severus and he became the two people it trusted most.  That’s who you’ve helped shape Minerva, people who see the scared child inside every monster, and risk everything to try and help it.  We’ve made mistakes, a lot of them, but everything we’ve ever done has been in an attempt to help someone or everyone.  You taught us to be good people, and we’ve always done our best to do so, this was no different.”  Minerva contemplates this for a moment before nodding.

“Perhaps my words were a bit harsh.”

“And our actions a tad rash,” Sirius admits.

“If the wolf is tame, why did it try to eat Harry and his friends?” Albus asks, Remus shakes his head.

“I didn’t, Moony would never hurt a Cub.  He was trying to kill Sirius.”

“What?  You said he trusted Severus and Sirius more than anyone!” Tonks cries in shock, Remus sighs, rubbing at his forehead.

“Well, they were tied with a third person but anyway.  Sirius made a mistake once that eventually lead to Moony trying to jump off the astronomy tower, by the time he met Sirius again he’d gotten over being depressed.  He’d been alone and locked away in my mind thanks to Wolfsbane for far too long to still be sad.  He was angry and he wanted revenge.  I don’t remember much of what happened that night, but I do remember Padfoot trying to control Moony.  His first bit of awareness was Padfoot biting at his neck, he didn’t know who it was at first but after shaking him off and seeing him, all he really thought was of course it’s him, it’s always him.”

“What did you do to him?!” Tonks demands of her cousin, throwing her wand at him, he tries to avoid it but it still hits him.

“It’s a long story,” Sirius says dejectedly, he hadn’t realised exactly how far the betrayal runs through Moony, though he supposes it makes sense.  Everything that Remus yelled at him while they were hanging off the tower was true to Moony as well only he hadn’t forgiven him.  In all honesty, Sirius isn’t sure he’d have forgiven himself in Remus’ position.

“So Sirius does something horrible, Severus ends up afraid of you, please tell me that the poor wolf didn’t lose the third person it trusted most as well,” Fleur requests, looking sad, Remus winces slightly.

“I’m afraid she ended worst of all.”

“It was Bella, wasn’t it?” Molly asks him quietly, he nods, tugging at his sleeves and looking shifty.

“Well this has been an enlightening experience,” Albus comments, “Though I must ask, if the wolf poses little danger to anyone but Sirius, why still do you take Wolfsbane?”

“I wasn’t doing so great on full moons towards the end of our schooling years, was dangerous to be around again.  After what happened with Severus and then some…particular events of the first war…he has about the same view on humans as most other Werewolves do now.  After using the wolfsbane so much though, it’s completely split my mind from his.  He is angry and will lash out at most anything if given an opportunity, but he still has a mind, he still won’t attack a cub.  Might still listen to reason, assuming it wasn’t Sirius trying to speak, still, best not risk it.”

“This is how Greyback targets children isn’t it?” Remus nods to Albus.

“He and his wolf have perfectly melded minds, they are one.  He just is, wolf or human, same person, and all psychopath.”

“That’s possible?” Severus asks, Remus nods.

“Moony and I never got particularly close to that, but that’s what was happening when he started remembering things from being in human form.”

“And when you were acting all weird, the feelings you couldn’t feel properly before that started coming back.  You said it was like they’d been partially blocked, those are the bits he got that were bleeding through.  So when your minds started melding more, you were getting more and more of it,” Sirius realises, he nods, “And now you’re more separate than you have ever been,” He adds sadly, Remus bits his lip.

“That has nothing to do with you, that’s the wolfsbane, I promise.”  Sirius nods though he still looks mopey.

“If his mind is one, can he transform at will?” Arthur asks, “Greyback I mean.”

“He’d still need the power of the moon, right?” Severus asks Remus who looks less sure, “Right?” He asks again, voice lower this time, Remus bites his lip again.

“He certainly couldn’t do it with a new moon.  But if he were consciously aware enough to focus his own magic up with…perhaps in the week surrounding the full moon he could manage it, _maybe_.  It would still be extremely painful though.” The room falls silent.  Even Remus doesn’t know how to react to this news.

“If you were to stop taking wolfsbane, would you be able to bridge the gap between your mind and…Moony’s?” Sturgis asks, Remus looks uncomfortable.

“I don’t know.  It’s not as though there’s research into this.  It may be irreversible, it may not be.”

“We taught Moony to speak and think properly, if you were faded, do you think he could use your magic to do it?”

“Moony doesn’t know how to use magic,” Remus reminds Severus, “But possibly, _possibly_ ,” He says, stressing the possibly, Severus nods.

“If you were to sorry, Fade, was it?” Emmeline asks, Remus nods, “If you were to fade, and Moony came forth, we could possibly calm him down and make him safe on a full moon again.  After all, the wolfsbane will only trap him on the full moon, so you could keep taking it until he’s more stable, then stop, and hopefully meld your minds again, couldn’t you?  That seems to be the way the mind _should_ work, right?”

“Even in this form I’m still far stronger than a human, still more dangerous, if he feels threatened he’ll still try to kill everyone.  He knows Severus fears him, he hates Sirius, and he’s not fond of Albus either.”

“Why not?” Albus asks, Remus shrugs.

“You insulted Trixie on numerous occasions and upset her, he was protective.  He might have gotten over that by now,” He explains, voice going quiet as he flinches slightly at certain memories popping up.  He pushes it out of his mind and keeps his focus on the present.

“It may still be worth doing, there’s certain things that even in this form, Moony can do that you can’t or are unwilling to, things that could be helpful,” Sirius points out hesitantly, Severus glares at him.

“Moony being used like this is exactly what we hoped to avoid by working all this out.”

“He can’t be caught by surprise from it!  That was the point!  Imagine if it had been Voldemort who caught him and calmed him.  If we hadn’t done it before Remus was captured in the first war, that may well have happened!”

“Moony hated Derek for hurting Remus, there’s no way he doesn’t hate Voldemort for the same thing,” Severus points out.

“He only knew about Derek because we’d lowered the barrier between them, besides, at this point, I’m pretty sure Moony’s pissed at Remus.”

“Why?”

“If someone were deliberately trapping you in your own mind constantly, wouldn’t you be?”  Severus and Sirius look to Remus contemplatively as he narrows his eyes in annoyance of being spoken about as though he isn’t present.

“If he were going to react well to anyone in here, who would it be?” Sturgis asks Remus who sighs.

“He’ll remember Minnie, I don’t think he has anything against you,” He says, looking to Minerva, “And he definitely won’t hurt Tonks.”

“Why not?” Tonks asks, “Not that I’m not glad about that, but still, why?”

“Because he’ll recognise your scent from when you were an infant, and he won’t harm a cub.”

“I’m not a cub anymore!” He smiles, taking her hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

“I know that, but I’ve no doubt he’ll have made you one if his pack’s cub’s because you’re Drom’s daughter.  So you may not be a cub anymore, but he’ll always protect you as one.  Just like he will Jamie and Benoit, and Harry, and Neville, and Draco, and…well, anyway.”

“Not Blaise?” Molly asks, Remus shrugs.

“He’d be safe purely because he’s a cub, but I didn’t meet Blaise until after…after I was captured.  Moony’s never had a chance to get over any of what happened in there, to him or to me, so I doubt he’d recognise him.  Harry and Neville are different, they’re the children of pack members.  Draco I was introduced to before being freed and it…it became an important moment for numerous reasons but what happened is enough for Moony to have deemed him Pack Cub.”

“I never realised Werewolves could be so complicated,” Bill says, “Charlie would be delighted.  I mean he liked you anyway when we were kids, but this would be the icing on the cake.”

“I think we should put Tonks, Minerva, Snape, and Lupin in a room.  Have Lupin do his thing and see if the others can’t talk some sense into the wolf,” Moody tells them, everyone agrees except Remus and Severus.

“He tried to eat me!”

“You created a spell that would shine moonlight down on me at any time so that I’d be forced into transforming, and you’re worried about me?”

“I never turned into a terrifying wolf and tried to attack!”

“Neither of you ever explained how exactly he tricked you into going down there anyway,” Remus reminds them, looking between Severus and Sirius, both look ashamed, “I know you made a crack about Regulus that pissed him off, but there’s no way you were stupid enough to just go down there so that we’d hear you out about how you came to be a Death Eater.” Severus looks to Sirius in confusion, Sirius scratches his head awkwardly and looks away, “None of that is what happened, is it?”

“Remus, it was twenty years ago, what does it matter anymore?” Severus asks him.

“You are still afraid of me, Moony still hates him, Sirius is somehow as angry at you as you are to him, and he still feels guilty over what happened.  None of us are going to let it go until someone takes a step forward, a step neither of you appear willing to make, and I can’t when I don’t know what happened.  Because that’s why you feel guilty Sirius, I forgave you for what happened but you know I don’t know the truth and you think that if I did I wouldn’t forgive you.  And you, Severus, you are afraid for more reason than because I tried to attack you, and you’re angry at him for way more than trying to kill you.  So unless this all solves itself in the next thirty seconds, yes it does still matter and you will tell me what really happened!” Everyone sits in awkward silence for a moment

“Remus please, I promise you it’s better to just leave sleeping dragons alone.  Trust me Moony.”  Remus glares at him.

“I have trusted you Sirius, time and time again, but when’s the last time you did something worthy of it?  Every time I trust you something else happens to prove I shouldn’t, one day I’ll learn not to.  No, I’m about as likely to trust you properly as Severus is to forgive you for whatever he’s really angry about,” Remus tells him harshly, everyone’s pretty sure this entire thing has been coming for a while and so, despite the bad timing and awkwardness of everyone else, no one interrupts.  Severus sees the heartbreak on Sirius’ face, knows that what has just happened is quite possibly one of the worst things imaginable for him and wonders why he ever married Del when he’s never going to stop being in love with Remus.  Then again, Severus himself married Remus, yet he knows he’ll never stop loving Regulus.  Different situations though, because Regulus isn’t coming back. Severus internally sighs to himself, stupid Gryffindor loyalty and crap rubbing off on him.

“Sirius,” Severus says, Sirius looks over, “I’m sorry about what I actually said and did.  I know that what you did wasn’t really out of anger, and I understand why you did do it.  I forgive you for what happened, and I’m sorry it did.” The entire table looks completely nonplussed.

“I barely remember us ever being friends, I don’t know how to let go of anger that is born out of feelings of a friendship that I don’t remember happening.  I know what happened that day but everything that occurred was based so heavily on so many things that I have no idea about.  I don’t remember why I was so angry over words, why I felt betrayed by what happened, because all I really remember is us fighting, that time Remus randomly blurted out a poem, and a few snippets of the whole group hanging out.  So I don’t know why it was all such a big deal at the time, but I do know that being angry over something I don’t understand is stupid.  So, for what it’s worth, I forgive you too.  And I _am_ sorry about what I did, because it was more messed up and horrible than anyone else but us knows and I am more angry at myself for what happened than anyone else.”  Severus holds a hand out over the table.

“Friends?” Sirius smiles as he shakes his hand.

“You know…I just remembered where always waiting started,” He says, looking mildly distracted as he and Severus sit back in their seats again.  The three of them, despite everything, feel a connection at that moment.  There have been dark times, of that there is no denying, yet here they are.  Together again and friends despite everything.  They may have stopped believing in it a long time ago, but as it turns out, they really will always be waiting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Typically, when speaking of pregnancies, stomach is not the word used to describe that area of the body. I will use it once so that we all know what I’m talking about, it’s belly. That word and I do not have a good relationship, it really gives me the heebejeebies. Don’t know why, just does. I’m honestly feeling uncomfortable just having it in my chapter note. But there it is. Anyways that’s why Bridget has a pregnant stomach and not a pregnant other thing.


	55. ...It's Been A Long Time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hurt me more than it will hurt you, I promise.

Chapter 55

**_Disclaimer_ ** **_–_ ** **_I do not own Harry Potter_ ** **_☹_ **

****

It was decided that since Minerva and Severus had to return to school, Tonks, Andromeda, and Sirius would be the ones to speak with Moony.  The latter was most certainly a risk, but they believed Andromeda would be able to talk Moony down while Tonks acted as a buffer to stop him completely losing his shit and putting her in danger.  Most of the Order was gone for this, but Alastor and Sturgis remained to oversee events.  They’d stay at the back of the room and remain unobtrusive as Moony no doubt yells at Sirius a whole bunch, and hopefully calms down enough for the three to explain what they’re hoping to do.

Remus, Sirius, Alastor, Molly, and Sturgis wait in the kitchen for Tonks to arrive back with Andromeda, at which point they’ll move to a spare room upstairs and away from the Weasley matriarch.

They hear a crash and the front door slam as Tonks trips on her own feet, setting off Walburga Black’s portrait and making Sirius wince at her voice.

“Aunt Walburga, nice to know your stunning personality remains so even in death,” they hear a voice say.

“YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE, BLOOD TRAITOR!  FILTH!  SCUM!”

“I didn’t care for your opinion in life, what makes you think now would be any different?” They hear a swish of curtains followed by footsteps, and then the two enter the room.  Remus hurries over, Andromeda smiles and hugs him as he all but barrels into her.

“Drom!”

“Hey Remus,” She replies, “You got old,” She says, pulling away and looking at him, he glares.  It’s only been a couple of years since they last saw each other but, given everything that has taken place in those few years, it’s of no real surprise that he’s aged so much.

“You’re just as charming as ever.”

“You love me really.”

“Yep, this is weird,” Tonks comments, Sturgis pats her on the back sympathetically.

“Sirius, quit lurking and come hug me!” Sirius looks nervous but walks over and hugs his cousin, “I didn’t believe Remus and Severus, I’m sorry.  You deserved better than that.” Sirius flushes slightly.

“You couldn’t have known.”  She pulls back, grabbing his shoulders and looking him in the eyes.

“I should have, because I should have trusted you.” Sirius smiles, nodding.

“It’s good to see you Dromeda.”

“And you Ri,” She replies, “It’s nice to see you three again, though I can’t yet tell if this is better or worse circumstances than when we first met,” Andromeda tells Molly, Sturgis, and Alastor.

“You remember Moony?  You know, we discovered he was capable of learning how to talk on that camping trip.”

“Right before I got disowned and married Ted?” Sirius nods.

“I forget sometimes how much older than me you guys are,” Tonks says, Remus scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I mean, we aren’t _that_ much older than you.” Tonks smiles at him.

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind.”  The two smile at each other, Andromeda just shakes her head at them and looks at Sirius who seems just as exasperated.

“Seriously?” He huffs.

“It’s Remus, what do you expect?”

“Fair point.”

“Oi!  You two, quit staring at the galaxies in each other’s eyes and let’s do this,” Sirius directs, they both glare at him but obediently follow him up the stairs. 

The five head into a room they’ve cleared out, Remus, Sirius, Andromeda, and Tonks taking seats on the floor while Alastor and Sturgis stand in the back.

“All right, so, Moony’s upset about a bunch of things and his mind has been completely split from Remus’ thanks to the wolfsbane.  We’re planning on bringing him out, calming him down, and long term melding his mind with Remus’ again,” Sirius tells his cousin who nods.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you all, but what does that have to do with me?”

“You’re a part of Moony’s pack, we’re hoping you can talk him down from killing me so that he and I can resolve our differences.  Tonks is really just here to act as a deterrent.  Moony won’t risk hurting her because she’s the cub of a pack member, makes it his responsibility to keep her safe.”

“So he won’t go on a rampage and try to kill everyone because he’s upset about the bunch of things, right?”

“Right.”

“Okay, let’s do this then,” Drom says, clapping her hands and getting comfortable, everyone turns to Remus who hunches in on himself slightly at being the centre of attention.  Then he closes his eyes, forces himself to relax, and just stops holding Moony back.

Moony looks up, already growling, eyes changed to that of Moony and not Remus.  Alastor and Sturgis exchange looks, still slightly doubting everything they’d been told about a tame Werewolf, but at least part of what was said is true, there’s no way to doubt that what is sitting there is not Remus.

“Hiya Moony, you remember me?” Andromeda asks, Moony looks directly at her for a moment before looking to Sirius, he stands quickly, the other three doing so as well.

“Moony, hi,” Sirius says carefully, Moony glares and growls again, moving forward until Tonks moves around her Mother and plants herself between Moony and Sirius, refusing to be afraid.

“Do you know who I am?” She asks calmly, Moony pauses, hesitation in his movements for the first time.  He sniffs at the air for a moment before he backs down.  Still glaring at Sirius but no longer willing to attack.

“Dora,” He replies after a long moment, pointing to Tonks’ chest, Alastor and Sturgis look surprised but stay out of it.

“Moony, right?” She asks, following his actions by pointing at his chest as she says his name.  He nods but doesn’t seem particularly happy still.  Tonks supposes he never would have posed a threat to his friends if he were that easily calmed.

“I won’t let you hurt her,” Moony tells Sirius who sighs.

“Moony, I would never hurt Dora,” He promises, using the name Moony knows her by, his glare deepens.

“You say that a lot.  Never seems to be true.”

“Moony –”

“I don’t care.  Why am I here, he would never let me out without a reason, not after you.” Sirius steps around Tonks as he frowns.

“Is that what you’re really angry about?  You blame me for Remus being wary of you again?”

“No, I blame you for him hating me, I blame you for him separating us, I blame you for Sev being scared of me, and I blame you for both of them poisoning me.  Now _why am I here_?!” He snarls, Sirius refuses to be afraid.

“Moony I’m sorry.”

“We’ve been over this, I don’t believe you.  You ruined everything Siri, I don’t care what you want to say.”

“Moony, you remember me, right?” Andromeda asks, Moony cocks his head to the side in a way so familiar it hurts Sirius in some bone deep way he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget.

“Yes.  I don’t know the word for you.”

“Name, Moony,” Sirius corrects, Moony glares at him again, he puts his hands up in an exasperated surrender as he takes a couple steps back, Moony turns back to Andromeda.

“I don’t know your name.”

“Drom.” Moony doesn’t quite seem to get it.  Andromeda looks at Sirius who points at his chest with his finger and mouths her name, she turns back to Moony and points at her chest, “Drom.”

“Moony,” He says, pointing at his own chest, she smiles.

“Moony, we want to talk to you about something, will you sit down with us?”  Moony looks at Sturgis and Alastor shiftily, “They’re friends,” Drom promises, he doesn’t seem convinced.

“That’s Mad-Eye, he trained me,” Tonks tells the wolf, hoping he’ll calm down if he knows she was safe with him, it seems to work.

“That’s Sturgis, he’s…safe,” Drom says, copying the word she sees Sirius mouthing at her.

“If you are speaking for him then we’re done here.” Andromeda looks sheepish.

“I’m sorry.”

“Those words are meaningless.  What did you want to talk about?”  They all sit down again.

“All right then, we want to talk to you about you and Remus being less separated again.” Moony’s face remains completely blank, Drom doesn’t know how to read that, Sirius seems content to stay out of things for now.

“He took my own form from me, you think I’ll believe he now wants to share _his_ again?”

“I can see that you’re upset, so why don’t we talk about that for a moment.  I’m getting the sense that you’re hurt about Remus shutting you out,” Drom begins, Moony crosses his arms and glares at the floor, looking like an irritated and sulking child.  Sirius frowns at that, then he sighs.

“Moony, do you know what the worst part of the whole situation was?  For everyone?” Moony ignores him, Sirius moves and sits directly in front of him, “Sure I betrayed two of my friends and nearly killed one of them, and sure Remus didn’t speak to us for a month, and yes, Severus didn’t get over it for a couple of decades, but none of that was the worst part.”

“What was?” Moony asks begrudgingly, Sirius gives him a sad smile.

“The worst part was that we lost you.”  He looks like he’s about to say something, then he stops and glares at Sirius again.

“I don’t care.”  Sirius glares at him too.

“Well that’s just clearly not true.”

“The only reason you care is because I’m attached to Remus, you don’t care about me, none of you ever did.”  Sirius opens his mouth to argue back, but Tonks stands up and moves to sit beside Moony, taking his hand in hers and looking him in the eye.

“I do.” He looks at her in confusion, “I care about you, you’re my Pack’s leader.  So here’s the deal.  I’ll trust you, always and without hesitation, if you’ll trust me as well.  That’s all I ask.” Moony smiles.

“I trust you Dora,” He tells her, she smiles back.

“I trust you too Moony.”  He frowns suddenly again, sniffing around.

“Where are they?”  The other occupants of the room exchange confused looks.

“Who?” Andromeda asks.

“The rest of the Pack, where are they?”  Sirius, Andromeda, and Tonks exchange nervous looks at that, Mad-Eye and Sturgis watching the entire thing unsurely.

“Sev is at Hogwarts teaching, Draco is at Hogwarts learning, so are Harry and Neville.  Del’s in Muggle prison, Bella is in Azkaban, that’s a wizard prison.  Alice and Frank are in hospital, they’re not going to be coming back from there.  I don’t know if you ever counted Pet as Pack but she’s with her family in the Muggle world and we’ll probably never see her again.  I have absolutely no idea what happened to Phia, only that she and Remus don’t talk anymore.  James, Lily, Marlene, Mary, Reg, and Eleenie…they died Moons, a long time ago.”

“I don’t know that word,” Moony tells Sirius, ignoring his anger for the good of the pack.

“It means they are gone, and they aren’t coming back.”  Moony frowns, looking heart broken.

“Pete?” Sirius looks angry.

“Peter’s a traitor.  He turned on us and it got James and Lily killed.” Moony looks hurt, frowning and feelings tears in his eyes for a moment before he straightens up and looks Sirius in the eye.

“Forgive him.” Sirius looks at him in shock and a tinge of disgust.

“What?  Are you crazy?  He took everything from us!  He ruined everything and he got two of my best friends killed!”

“Not a nice feeling, is it?” Moony asks blandly, holding eye contact with a steely look.  Sirius gapes at him.

“It’s not the same thing.”

“Why not?”

“No one died because of me.”

“I DID!  I got trapped inside a mind that hates me, TWENTY YEARS SIRI! They poisoned me, they broke me down, and now I don’t even have the _moon_.  And don’t think I don’t know what you did to my mate, that it was _you_ who cast that spell.  I know what you did to her, but you have _no idea_ what SHE DID TO ME!  You think no one died?  You may not have killed me but you _took my life_ from me Siri, and I can’t ever get it back.  I come out freely for the first time in twenty years to find my pack has been obliviated, AND I WASN’T AROUND TO HELP!  You want me to get over it?  Want me to forgive you?  Forgive _him_.  Then we’ll talk.”

“YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO ATTACK SEVERUS!  IF YOU HADN’T BEEN THROWING A DAMNED TANTRUM, NOTHING BAD WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!” Sirius suddenly screams at Moony who stands up, Sirius stands too but because of height difference Moony’s still looking down on him, “Dammit Moons, why were you freaking out anyway?” Moony backs up, looking to Tonks before looking away in shame.  He walks over to the window and sits below it, hunching in on himself.  Sirius goes over and sits beside him, he sighs.

“Remus held Dora.”  Everyone looks confused.

“Yes, it was hilarious, he was terrified of her and literally screamed.”

“Wait, what?” Tonks asks, Sirius shakes his head.

“Ask Remus later.  What’s that got to do with anything, Moony?”

“Remus held Dora and I found out what a human cub looks like.” Sirius cocks his head to the side in question, Moony wraps his arms around his legs, “Remus only ever told Mate.  I didn’t mean to do it, I didn’t know what was happening or what it was.  It was so loud and I just wanted it to stop.  I didn’t know it was a human’s sad howl…” Moony whispers, the room exchanges looks as they start to realise what happened.

“Tell me, Moony,” Sirius encourages.

“It was my first time out.  I was in a room but the door was easy to break, I wanted to explore, I wanted to know where I was and what was around me.  I wanted to understand.  The human cub started howling sadly but I didn’t know what it was.  I know now.”  That’s when it fully clicks in Sirius’ head.

“Remus said he used to have a brother, one that died a long time ago.  He never would talk about it, Peter suggested we not ask.” Moony nods.

“He didn’t know either, we’re pretty sure he guessed it though.”

“So Remus held Dora and you realised that you’d accidentally killed your baby brother during your first moon?”

“Remus’ baby brother.”

“What’s the difference?  Phia’s your sister, isn’t she?” Sirius asks, Remus nods, “What’s the difference?” He asks again.

“Lyall Lupin.” Sirius grimaces, he hesitates for a moment before he stands and holds out a hand to Moony.

“Let me show you something, please.” Moony hesitates, he ignores the offered hand but does stand. 

The whole group follows Sirius out of the room and down the hall.  He walks them down and stops in front of Walburga’s portrait.  Sirius draws back the curtains, they’re immediately met with yelling and screaming.  Moony flinches back in fright, instinctually moving in front of Dora to protect her.  She smiles at that and takes his hand, showing him she’s safe.

“This was my Mother before James’ Mother took me in.  She hates me.  Probably about as much as Lyall hates you.” Moony looks at the woman who turns to him.

“WEREWOLF! FILTHY HALF-BREED!  HOW DARE YOU ENTER THE HOUSE OF BLACK?!”  Sirius pulls the curtain back over her as Moony starts growling at the painting.  He then leads them into a sitting room and shows them the family tree.  He points to where he used to be.

“My parents disowned me, made me not their child anymore.”  He points to Regulus, “They said to me, and no doubt to him at some point, that I am not his brother.  I’m gone, I’m not family.  But he will always be my brother.  Alive or not, disowned or not, he is my brother and they cannot take that from me.”

“I’m sorry about Reg,” Moony tells Sirius, he smiles sadly and nods.

“I’m sorry about your brother too.”  Moony nods, “That’s why you were lashing out at yourself so much, why we couldn’t stop you.  You were punishing yourself for your brother.”  Moony nods again.

“I wasn’t aiming for Sev, I was scratching at the door when it opened.  James stepped in front of him just as my paw came down.  I didn’t mean to do it.  I hurt him and then everyone was gone and I’d done it again.  I hurt someone again, Lyall was right.  I’m a Monster who needs to leave everyone alone.  I tried, I tried to save everyone from me, but you stopped me.”  Sirius’ eyes widen when he realises Moony is talking about what happened on the astronomy tower.

“I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You didn’t want to lose Remus.”

“I didn’t want to lose either of you.  You were my first pack member too you know, I brought you in, I told the others that you needed us and we decided that we’d just adopted a Werewolf pup and you’d be ours.  You’d be ours to raise and help grow and you’d be our friend.  You needed us then, but I never realised how much I needed you.  Werewolf or not, you were just a pup, you were innocent and I’d forgotten what that looked like.  You and Remus helped me more than either of you will ever know.  You are as much a part of my family as Remus is.  When I sent Severus to you, I wasn’t thinking of you, I was thinking of hurting him and nothing else.  I’m sorry Moony.  I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I hurt him, I’m sorry I lost your trust and his and Remus’ and James’ and everyone’s.  I’m sorry I made the second biggest mistake of my life that day, and I’m sorry that I can’t make it better.  But I can help now, with you and Remus, I can help.  We all can.  Please, let us.”

“How?” Moony asks, Sirius smiles slightly.

“Just calm down.”  Moony looks at Sirius’ name again, sees the branches going off of it, segmented to show adoption, that lead to his children.

“Where is she?” He asks, pointing to Hermione Black’s leaf/face thing.  Sirius sighs.

“Hidden, safe.”

“Why?”

“Her brother’s father is not a nice man, not anymore.  She and her birth Father could be in a lot of danger, particularly her birth father, were Harry’s birth father to know she existed.  Albus hid her away many years ago.”  Moony frowns but says nothing.  He knows where she is, he saw her, smelt her, but if she’s supposed to be hidden then he shouldn’t give away where she is.  Clearly, she’s safer that way.

“If you were lashing out because of your brother, you’d have been really worked up.  The way you must have looked…no wonder Sev’s still afraid,” Tonks comments, Moony just nods.

“I don’t forgive you Siri, but I don’t want to be a prisoner anymore. I’ll try and settle down.” Sirius nods.

“That’s all we ask.”

 

 

Months later Severus comes out of the floo, rushing into the kitchen.

“Sirius, you’re here?” He asks, Sirius raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m a wanted man Sev, where the hell else would I be?” Severus looks terrified.

“No, no, no, no, oh god they’re going to kill him!”

“Who, what? Sev?”

“Harry!  He’s walking into a trap!”

 

They get as many Order members together as they can and immediately go to the Department of Mysteries, easily finding the others.

“Get away from my God-Son!” Sirius demands before punching Lucius in the face.  Remus has a rather sudden flashback of the last person he saw Sirius punch, Gilderoy Lockhart.  Then he sees Bellatrix pointing her wand at Neville’s throat.  Suddenly there’s a battle on and he can’t remember it starting.  He fights, he fights as hard as he can.  He sees Rodolphus Lestrange and sees red.

“Ah, if it isn’t my wife’s former lover, pleasure to see you again Remy,” The man taunts.

“Sectumsempra!” Remus casts, the man blocks it.  They duel for long moments before his opponent sees something, and grins, leaving the fight.

“Stupefy!” He hears, he turns to see it’s Bellatrix who had cast it, and it’s Sirius who it hit.  Remus freezes, watching his best mate float away through the arch, he feels his heart stop.  Seeing Harry about to run after him springs him into action and he rushes forwards to catch him, knowing it’s the only thing stopping him from going as well.

Harry tries to go after Bellatrix, and god forgive him, Remus lets him go.

He collapses to his knees, looking at the arch and feeling his soul die, a pain he’s never felt before and couldn’t possibly quantify coming over his very being. 

 _I love him,_ Remus realises, _Bollocks that I only see that now._

“Remus, we have to go,” He hears someone say, he doesn’t care to check who.  He feels arms around him but fights back, he doesn’t want to leave, he can’t.  That’s when he feels himself start to cry, no, not cry, sob.  Like his mind and heart are being wrenched out of his throat, it’s like feeling nothing and everything at the same time and he can’t go, he can’t go but there’s nothing here.  Nothing because Sirius is gone, he’s gone…he’s gone.

“NOOOO!” He hears himself scream, feels himself shatter in every way.

“Remus, please,” He feels hands pull his head up until he’s no choice but to look upon their face.  He sees Severus, sees the tears in his eyes, sees the pain and the fear.  It’s nothing though, nothing to what he feels, nothing to what he’s lost.  None of it matters, nothing does, because Sirius isn’t coming back this time.  He feels himself collapse further to the ground, at which point arms wrap around him and he realises he hadn’t noticed they’d previously let go. He feels the familiar sensation of apparition, he tries to pull away, heedless of the possibility of getting splinched.  He doesn’t care, he just wants Sirius and nothing else is important.

They land and he’s released.  All he does is drop to the floor.  Severus goes down with him and holds him, he is torn to shreds and now only Severus’ arms are holding the pieces together.  He wishes he would let go.

He doesn’t notice Benoit enter the room, nor Tonks pulling the eleven-year-old to her and holding him tightly as she guides him away.

 

It’s an hour later that he’s quieted down, but now he’s silent.  Silent and vacant because there is nothing left to fill him.  He’s just a husk now, everything that’s ever mattered has been forced out of him.

“Come on, why don’t we take a seat in the kitchen, I think Molly’s made tea,” Severus tells him, unsurprised to get no response.  Severus pulls him up, supporting basically all his weight and dragging him into the kitchen when Remus’ legs don’t cooperate, his mind too empty to give the command to move.

Severus sits him in a chair, taking one beside him and grabbing his hands.

“Remy?” Severus calls quietly, desperately, pleadingly.  There is no reply, no _one_ to reply.  Severus has his elbows on his knees, resting his head on their conjoined hands as he tries not to break down.  Remus needs him right now.  He feels the hands in his twitch slightly and sees Remus watching him, sees him open his mouth to speak, but tears start falling again.  Severus moves to hold him as he breaks down.

Severus exchanges a look with Molly who hasn’t been told what happened, but she knows.  She seems just as lost as he feels.

 

A week later school ends, Severus immediately returns to Grimmauld Place.

“He’s not left his room nor spoken a word.  He won’t eat, I don’t want to know what it is he’s been drinking, but if he weren’t he’d be dead by now,” Molly tells him bluntly, Severus rubs a hand over his face, feeling the tears he hadn’t noticed be wiped over his face as he does so.  He goes to Remus’ room and finds the man laying in bed, staring blankly at nothing.  He kneels down beside the bed in his line of sight.

“Mad-Eye and Tonks are going to greet Harry at the station, I think you ought to come along.”  Remus doesn’t reply, “I think it would mean a lot to him, so this isn’t a request.  It’s God-Father duties, on my part, to get you there.”  Remus locks eyes with him at that point.

“I havta tell Del.”  Severus knows these are the first words he’s spoken since his screaming at the Department of Mysteries, and he hates that this is what he says.

“I’ll go with you when you do.”

Severus sits Remus up, the man barely holding himself up.  He scourgfies him, working under the assumption that he hasn’t showered, and helps him get dressed.  He’s not surprised to see he’s still in the same close he was on the day that…a week ago.

He gets Remus down just as Moody and Tonks are about to leave.

“Wait, Remus is going with you.”  Moody looks uncertain at the idea, but Tonks links an arm with him and apparates away, Moody following after.

They wait outside the platform, Remus doesn’t speak.  Sometime later Molly and Arthur arrive, they’d stopped by the burrow to grab Fred and George before coming over. 

“Hello Professor Lupin,” The twins greet, Remus freezes for a moment as he tries to…well he thinks he was trying to smile, in the end he just sort of nods at them.  Both of their faces fall, and he knows he has to do better.

“H’lo,” He says.  The two seem delighted, and he decides that’s enough for now and continues on his moping.

“We’re going to talk to the Dursleys before Harry goes with them, care to join us?” Tonks asks the Weasleys, all agree.  Remus doesn’t reply to anything that’s said and honestly couldn’t tell you if anyone had even tried to talk to him.

Eventually people start exiting the platform, Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Jamie, and Ron among them.

“Ron, Ginny!” Molly calls as she hurries over, “Oh and Harry dear – How are you?” She asks as she hugs him.

“Dad!” Jamie calls, rushing over and hugging him.  Remus awkwardly hugs her back, feeling like he’s doing it wrong, “Ron told me what happened,” She tells him, eyes swimming with tears.  He doesn’t know what to say, she just nods, burying into his side.

“What are _they_ supposed to be?” Ron asks his brothers, looking over their clothes.

“Finest dragonskin, little bro. Business is booming and we thought we’d treat ourselves,” Fred replies.  Jamie steps away from her Father and walks over, hugging Fred who wastes no time in wrapping his arms around her, George rubbing her back soothingly.  Remus decides it’s really now or never on the speaking front.

“Hello, Harry.”

“Hi, I didn’t expect… what are you all doing here?”

“Well, we thought we might have a little chat with your Aunt and Uncle before letting them take you home.”  Remus thinks he sees his fellow adults exchanging surprised and hopeful looks at this, no doubt because he’d said a whole sentence, but also because he’d heard and retained something they’d said.

“I dunno if that’s a good idea,” Harry immediately warns.

“Oh, I think it is,” Moody growls, “That’ll be them, will it, Potter?” Harry follows his line of sight and nods slightly.  Remus doesn’t turn to look.  Arthur turns away from Hermione’s parents and addresses Harry.  Hermione looks at Remus hopefully, and he wishes he could feel the need to live up to those hopes.  Still he moves closer.

“Mr and Mrs Granger, yes?” He asks, forcing the words out of his mouth.

“Yes, and you are?” Mr Granger asks, holding out a hand to shake, Remus takes a breathe as he takes it and shakes it.

“Remus Lupin.”

“Ah, Hermione’s old Professor.  We’ve heard about you, she’s quite fond of you, misses you teaching,” Mrs Granger tells him, Hermione blushes.

“Well, I’m glad I could help her out in some way, and my other former students of course.”  He sees the others beginning to walk away and decides he has to face Petunia, at least to tell her about Sirius, “Excuse me, I have to deal with something,” He tells them as politely as possible, Hermione excuses herself as well and joins the group walking towards the trio of muggles.

“Good afternoon, you might remember me, my name’s Arthur Weasley.” Vernon Dursley doesn’t respond, though he and his family look extremely pensive if not actually afraid, “We thought we’d just have a few words with you about Harry,” He continues.

“Yeah, about how he’s treated when he’s at your place,” Alastor adds with a growl.  Vernon goes to respond, no doubt defensively, when Petunia places a hand on his arm to stop him.  He looks to her in surprise and finds her looking at someone in consideration.  He follows her line of sight, as do the others, and finds her staring at Remus who looks back at her pensively.  She steps away from her family and throws her arms around the man who hugs her back.

“Remy, what’s wrong, what’s happened?” She asks, voice full of concern.  Everyone seems confused except Vernon, whose face has gone purple with anger.

“I have some bad news Pet,” He replies, pulling away from her.  She frowns at him, worry clear on her face, “Sirius was killed,” He tells her quietly.  She gasps, hands going to her face as tears fill her eyes.

“Oh Remy, oh, I’m so sorry.”  She takes his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“Uh, Lupin?” Alastor asks, Remus looks up to see the confusion on everyone’s faces.

“Sorry, old friend.  But back to the topic at hand, what the hell Pet?  The way you’ve been treating Harry, what have you been thinking?!” Petunia scowls at him.

“Don’t you dare.  If you had been around for his life you’d get a say in how he’s raised, but you haven’t been!”

“I could have!  If _he_ ever allowed me to be, if you ever responded to me!  You have my phone number, you have Sev’s phone number, if you needed help you could have called.”

“We don’t need any help from the likes of you,” Vernon spits at him, Remus glares at him.

“Oh shut up you human piece of ham!” Petunia facepalms.

“Really?  Ham?”

“Have you _seen_ your husband?”

“Yours isn’t so good looking either you know, has he heard of shampoo?” Ron, Harry, and the twins can’t help but snicker at this.

“Sev and I aren’t married anymore.  Something you’d know, if you ever responded to our letters beyond letting us know Harry hadn’t done well during his first year of school.”

“Well he didn’t,” Petunia replies snidely.

“No doubt because of the people looking after him, or rather, _not_ looking after him.”

“Wouldn’t be on us if his parents were around!” Petunia finally snaps, the group freezes, her hands clap over her mouth again as her eyes widen, filling with tears once more.

“Not as though you’re any good at looking out for people anyway,” Vernon mutters, Remus thinks he should feel angry, but honestly, he’s just confused.

“What?” Vernon smirks slightly, clearly feeling more courageous now that he has the upper hand.

“How’s your sister?  Is she out of the hospital yet?” Petunia whirls around lightening fast and glares at her husband.

“We will talk about this later.” Vernon looks slightly embarrassed and even more outraged because how dare his wife speak to him like this?  For once, Harry actually feels sorry for his cousin who stands beside his father seeming to have no idea how to react to his parent’s fighting.

“Pet, what’s this about?  Is Phia okay?” Petunia turns back, biting her lip nervously before taking a deep breath.

“I’m not supposed to tell you that Rem, I’m sorry.”

“Look, I understand she doesn’t want to talk to me but if something big has happened I should be able to know about it!”

“Perhaps you should have thought of that before driving her away!”

“You have no damned idea what happened.”

“I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED!” Petunia screeches, everyone looks shocked, “I know exactly what happened,” She repeats, quieter this time, “You finally learnt that your family is more important to you than strangers, and with that knowledge you made yourself more of a monster than you have ever been, and I am _not_ talking about Moony.” The wizards seem extremely surprised she knows about the wolf, it’s the only thing that keeps them from interfering.  Except Mad-Eye, he just wants to see how this pans out, “You have two settings Remus, tactical, and lonely.  In one you don’t care and in the other you care too much, but you only seem to start caring once it’s too late to do anything, and you never learn!  Your first instinct when you almost lose Phia proceeds to push her away.  You lose people, you get them back, and you lose them again, never actually letting yourself feel anything while they’re around.  You choose to let close the people you know will hurt you, Severus, Lucius, Derek, Minnie, and you never think about the consequences, not for you, and not for anyone else, not since Bellatrix.  So tell me, you got Sirius back, you lost him again, has anything changed?  Have you?” Remus tenses, swallowing harshly as complete silence falls over the group.  Petunia knows she went too far with her rant, but honestly, since Lily died, she’s forgotten that other people have feelings too, that there are things beyond the missing half of her soul.

“He’s back Pet.”  Petunia blinks for a moment, her anger draining away along with the blood in her face. 

“Voldemort?” Harry’s very surprised to hear that come from his Aunt, Remus nods, “You told me he was dead, Remy!” Remus doesn’t even have it in him to flinch at the name anymore, he doesn’t care.

“He was, he came back.”

“All the people he’s killed, all our friends, they stay dead but that evil man gets to come back? _Why_?” Petunia asks, almost desperately. Remus cups her face in his hand, she leans into it as she covers it with her own, her eyes expressing an apology he doesn’t know how to accept.  Why should she apologise for telling the truth, after all?

“Because the world isn’t kind Petunia, and there’s nothing we can do to change that.”  Mad-Eye goes on to threaten Vernon, who doesn’t appreciate it but is up against wizards who are more than willing to and fully capable of following through on said threats, so he’s forced to back down.

“Mum and Dad have insisted I stay with them for a while, insisted that you do as well,” Tonks tells him after everyone leaves, Remus doesn’t care, he just goes with her.  He has no way of knowing how much his words will reverberate inside Harry’s head, only that they won’t leave his.  They’re engraved in his shattered soul, just as he’s unknowingly engraved them to Harry’s.

The world isn’t kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, I don't like how this chapter came out. It feels too segmented between Moony's reappearance to Severus coming to warn them. I just had nothing to say about the interim though. So apologies for that, but I have honestly no idea how to fix it.


	56. ...But My Time Is Finally Near, and I'm Always Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter ☹, I do not own the song Cheshire Kitten, that’s by SJ Tucker and I strongly recommend it’s listened to, it’s brilliant. Pay attention to it, it will be important later. The song lyrics, not necessarily whether or not you listen to it. I’m gonna stop rambling now. Enjoy.

Chapter 56

****

****

It’s two months after the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, and one would not be exaggerating to call Remus depressed.  He’s living with Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks now, though he’s taken to calling her Dora again because Tonks is too confusing in this household.  His kids are staying with his parents.

The budding relationship Tonks and he had been developing has completely fallen apart on account of the fact that the man he loves, and is realising he has loved for a long time, died.  Sort of put a damper on things.

He barely talks, he barely eats, and he consumes far more liquor than a human body would be capable of surviving.  The Order has continued to use Grimmauld Place as its headquarters, with Severus’ continued permission of course, Remus hasn’t been attending.  He’s not especially sure if it’s the location, Sirius, or knowing that Emmeline is gone as well is what keeps him away, but after everything he just can’t bear to sit in a meeting so empty of who should be present.

He hasn’t taken Wolfsbane in a few months, the first full moon after Sirius’ death, Moony spent the entire night sulking and whimpering and letting out mournful howls.  He hadn’t forgiven Sirius, now he won’t ever get the chance.  He wants his Siri back.

Then one day Severus turns up with a memory in a vial, a portable Pensieve, and a note.

“Where is he?” Severus asks Ted as he floos in, neglecting to greet him in any way.

“Last I saw, staring moodily at a guitar out in the garden,” Ted replies, Severus sighs, nodding and walking out there, “Well hello to you too Sev, how are you?  Oh me?  I’m good too, thanks for asking,” Ted mutters in fond exasperation.

“Remus, I need you to come inside, it’s important,” Severus tells his friend as soon as he sees him, Remus complies with the request but seems completely disinterested.  He puts his guitar back in his room and joins Severus in the loungeroom where he’s rounded Andromeda and Ted up in as well.

“What’s this about Sev?” Andromeda asks, Severus sits down on an armchair and sighs, placing the objects he brought with him beside him.

“I have news, both good and bad for different reasons,” He begins hesitantly, not wanting to actually speak.

“What happened?” Ted asks, Severus sighs again, looking up and seeming at war with himself, unsure if he should be mourning or not.

“Bella’s dead.” Andromeda gasps, Ted wraps an arm around her immediately, Remus just continues staring, “I wasn’t sure how you’d react, but regardless, I think you should see,” Severus tells Remus, holding up the memory in the vial.

“You want him to watch her die?” Ted asks, rather outraged, Severus gives him a quelling look.

“Yes, for a reason.  One he needs to see.”  Remus sits silently, unsure whether he really doesn’t care or if he cares so much he just can’t feel it.  Everything feels a little like that now, he never can work out what he’s feeling and thinking anymore, only that it hurts and everything is wrong.

“All right,” He says at last.  Severus floats the Pensieve in front of him, pouring the memory into it, Remus takes a deep breath and goes into it.

_He sees Draco, hiding in a closet and watching as Bellatrix enters the room, Remus is pretty sure this is his memory and decides to address the fact that he watched his Aunt die at another point in time.  He turns to watch Bellatrix as she takes a seat at a piano, he tries to ignore the panic he feels building inside him at seeing her but can_ _’_ _t help taking several steps back and plastering himself against the wall.  She begins to play, and then to sing._

_“_ _I grew up seeing things a little differently,_

_Appearing disappearing hardly innocent nor tied down, to the ground._

_I learnt to roll and tumble with the punches, glory in my stripes and sports,_

_Walk by invisible and never make a sound._

_But heavy is the crown that_ _’_ _s always hidden._

_Tender is the heart you never see._

_Hard and fast shines the grin that we flash, but there_ _’_ _s a vulnerable stripe or two in me._

_Maybe any place outside of Wonderland is not for me my friend._

_If I leave my grin behind remind me,_

_That we_ _’_ _re all mad here,_

_And it_ _’_ _s okay._

_Sun up, sun down, the shadows hide me down in Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way,_

_But if you find it in your dreams, you can find it at your day job,_

_Somewhere south of Hell._

_Take the path to left or right with just your gut to guide you,_

_The story is not for anyone else to tell._

_Go down the rabbit hole and out the other side,_

_You can_ _’_ _t go home in the middle of the magic carpet ride._

_You gotta greet the Sun before his lovely daughter Moon,_

_You can_ _’_ _t forsake the journey for the safety of your room,_

_Until you learn, your lesson well._

_I have learned to see and hear,_

_Everybody loud and clear,_

_Bu the truth comes down in riddles that are safe enough to share._

_That_ _’_ _s how it is in songs you see and stripes always looked good on me,_

_Whether or not I_ _’_ _m really there._

_Heavy is the burden of the wise ones,_

_When no one understands a word they say._

_The Jabberwok never bothered anyone but nobody believes him to this day,_

_And why should they?_

_If I leave my grin behind remind me,_

_That we_ _’_ _re all mad here,_

_And it_ _’_ _s okay._

_Sun up, sun down the shadows find me out in Wonderland, Wonderland, nobody knows the way,_

_But if you find it in your dreams, you can find it at your day job,_

_Somewhere south of Hell._

_Take the path to left or right with just your gut to guide you,_

_The story is not for anyone else to tell._

_You gotta go down the rabbit hole and out the other side,_

_You can_ _’_ _t go home in the middle of the magic carpet ride._

_You gotta greet the sun before his lovely daughter moon._

_You can_ _’_ _t forsake the journey for the safety of your room until you learn,_

_Your lesson, well._

_Is it the stripes or the spots you see,_

_Was it hearts or diamonds baby brought you here to me?_

_Darling, you know better than to trust a pack of cards!_

_What have we learned?_

_The world is never as mad as it could be, never as mad as it could be!_

_If I leave my grin behind remind me,_

_That we_ _’_ _re all mad here,_

_And it_ _’_ _s okay._

_If I leave my grin behind remind me,_

_That we_ _’_ _re all mad here,_

_And it_ _’_ _s okay._

_If I leave my grin behind remind me,_

_That we_ _’_ _re all mad here,_

_And it_ _’_ _s okay._ _”_

_Remus feels tears in his eyes, something about the song hits him deep in his bones.  Yes, this is her, this is what she is.  Still, something about it niggles at the back of his brain, it_ _’_ _s important somehow, he knows it.  Then the door to the room opens again, Draco hides further back in the closet as Voldemort walks in._

_Remus hasn_ _’_ _t seen him since his resurrection, it_ _’_ _s not exactly a good look.  His back hits the wall in his panic to get away before he calms himself,_ it’s just a memory. _But he knows better than most how much damage a memory can do._

_“_ _Bellatrix, my dear,_ _”_ _Voldemort begins, Remus sees the girl tense._

_“_ _My Lord._ _”_

_“_ _How are you?_ _”_

_“_ _All the better for seeing you, of course._ _”_

_“_ _You seem rather_ _…_ _calm? Today?_ _”_ _Remus stills, Bellatrix turns to look at him, looking completely put together, Remus can_ _’_ _t understand what_ _’_ _s happening, he really can_ _’_ _t._

_“_ _Did you need something, My Lord?_ _”_

_“_ _Yes, I_ _’_ _ve heard some rather disturbing things of late._ _”_

_“_ _War tends to breed those,_ _”_ _She tells him, he glares at her, she stands, shutting the piano and moving to stand before him,_ _“_ _Perhaps you should be more specific._ _”_

_“_ _You have been looking into things, things that do not concern you._ _”_

_“_ _I_ _’_ _m quite sure I don_ _’_ _t know what you mean._ _”_ _Remus takes a breath as he looks closer at Bellatrix_ _’_ _s face, she knows this is it for her, but she_ _’_ _s not going down without a fight._

_“_ _Must we do this dance?  We both know you_ _’_ _ve been conspiring against me, I wish to know why before I kill you._ _”_ _Bellatrix_ _’_ _s expression remains blank before she stands up straighter and looks at him defiantly._

_“_ _Because you are a homicidal psychopath, you are evil, and I will gladly give my life to bring you down._ _”_ _Both Remus and Voldemort have identical looks of surprise, Remus turns to look at the still hidden Draco who seems shocked and afraid._

_“_ _You stupid girl, you can_ _’_ _t stop me, no one can!_ _”_ _Bellatrix looks at Voldemort, giving him a most intense look._

_“_ _That_ _’_ _s where you_ _’_ _re wrong.  I know who you are._ _”_ _Voldemort steps back suddenly, Remus_ _’_ _eyes widen as he looks between the two. Then Tom_ _’_ _s eyes change from red to an ethereal blue, his voice sounding like his but also that of a young woman, somehow the two echo and sound as two and as one voice._

_“_ _This changes nothing,_ _”_ _Voldemort tells her, Bellatrix shakes her head._

_“_ _It changes everything, you_ _’_ _re not going to come back this time._ _”_ _Voldemort shrieks as he-er-she-er-it, throws a hand out, lifting Bellatrix into the air and choking her.  Bellatrix_ _’_ _s hands go to her throat, trying desperately to breathe._

_“_ _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!_ _”_ _The double voice screams at her, she smiles._

_“_ _Kill me, it won_ _’_ _t change anything_ _…_ _you-you_ _’_ _ve lost_ _…_ _and you_ _…_ _will_ _…_ _die._ _”_ _Voldemort screams again as he throws his hand, slamming Bellatrix into the ceiling and then to the floor._

_“_ _Whatever you_ _’_ _ve done, I will stop it.  I will not allow my plans to be ruined by some insane blood traitor!_ _”_ _He tells Bellatrix, but it_ _’_ _s pointless, she_ _’_ _s already dead.  Voldemort takes a moment to straighten himself, his eyes going back to red, and then he walks out the door._

_A few moments later Draco leaves his hiding place and rushes over._

_“_ _A-Aunt Bella?_ _”_ _He turns her over, gasping when he sees her unseeing eyes wide open,_ _“_ _I should have done something, I_ _’_ _m sorry,_ _”_ _He tells her as he takes her hand.  Then he pulls her hand towards him, unfurling her fist and finding a note.  Remus looks closer at it and sees his own initials on it, his breath catches, realising the note is waiting for him outside of this memory,_ _“_ _I_ _’_ _ll make sure he gets it, and-and I_ _’_ _ll make sure he knows.  He_ _’_ _ll know you were on his side after all, I promise._ _”_ _Draco looks up when footsteps are heard, he rushes out the door on the other side of the room, and the memory ends._

“Remus?” Severus asks after Remus has stood staring at the wall for a moment, frowning.  Remus then holds a hand out, making grabby hands at the note.  Severus shares a concerned look with Ted and Andromeda, through the latter’s tears, as he hands the note over.

_Dearest Remus,_

_On the 15 th of June 1980, Albus Dumbledore and I battled along with Paul Goyle and Alastor.  Unbeknownst to the others, I was with child at the time, our child. Dumbledore fired Sev_ _’_ _s slashing curse at me, I survived, the baby was not so lucky.  I don_ _’_ _t mean to strain the already tenuous relationship between the two of you, but this is my last chance to tell you and I thought you ought to know._

_I had wanted to name her Lucy for everything Lucius did to break that curse years ago.  But I stand by our conversation in 1 st year, and Constellation Lucinda Lupin had a nice ring to it.  Ella Lupin for short.  We both may be gone, but please, remember she existed._

_And know that I am so very sorry for everything I_ _’_ _ve done._

_Eternally yours,_

_Trixie_

_P.S. Non-Human Spiritous Apparition wants Albus. Stop her._

Remus gasps aloud as he reads, tears filling his eyes and flashbacks filling his mind.  He scrunches his eyes shut, shaking his head and ridding himself of the memories.  He’d deal with it later, this _has_ to come first.

“Has anyone else seen that memory or read this?” Severus shakes his head.

“He insisted you do before anyone else.” Remus looks at the note again before he nods, trying to work out what he is feeling before deciding that for now, it doesn’t matter.

 _‘_ _I know who you are_ _…_ _wants Albus_ _…_ _stop her._ _’_ _Voldemort is specifically targeting Albus Dumbledore.  Why would some kind of non-human spiritous apparition have a vendetta against Albus?_ Remus wonders, frowning, not even noticing that he’s started pacing.  Severus watches him, eyes wide with hope.  This was something he hadn’t seen in well over a decade, _I read about very specific circumstances leading to ghosts being able to possess people for revenge.  What could have possibly been in Dumbledore_ _’_ _s past that meets that insanely specific criteria?  What are the chances?_

Then Remus remembers something Albus once said to him.

_I made a mistake a long time ago Remus and my sister died because of it._

Remus’ eyes widen as he stops pacing, _it all makes sense._

“Severus, keep it that way for now.”

“Re, I’m not going to be able to get away with that for long,” Sev points out, Remus nods, waving the concern away.

“Have you seen this?” He asks Severus who shakes his head.  Remus scoops the memory back into the vial, “Brilliant, then tell them the truth.  You showed me first as per Draco’s wishes, and I nabbed the memory after watching it and ran off, promising to be back within the week.” Severus opens his mouth to protest, Remus turns to Andromeda and Ted, “Thank you, both of you, for everything you’ve done for me.  I can’t explain right now, but I promise, your sister didn’t die in vain,” He tells Andromeda, he gets a nod from her before he apparates away, leaving three spluttering people behind him.

 

Remus goes back to his house, a place he hasn’t been since the raid, and grabs some books he’d been using for his previous research into the non-human spiritous apparition.  As he goes to leave, he finds Sirius’ cloak on the stand and grabs it, casting a simple engorgio to make it fit.  He just couldn’t bare to leave it behind.

 

Hidden under the cloak Remus floos to the Leaky Cauldron, immediately going to Diagon Alley and then into Knockturn, making sure no one sees his face.  He may have taken to not caring lately, but Death Eaters are still after him and most of the wizarding population will probably try to kill him on sight because of his well-known Werewolf status.

Remus ignores all these things as he enters Bridge’s Potion Supplies, walking past the front desk and finding Flubber at work.

He avoids the being’s notice and moves into the artefacts section of the store, finding it’s grown quite a bit since the last time he was here, a year will do that.  He’s been searching the place for about ten minutes when he’s interrupted.

“Can I help you find something?” Remus quickly listens and makes sure there’s no one else in the room before he lowers his hood and turns around.

“I hope so, because I’m not having much luck on my own.” Bridget gasps, moving forwards to hug him, he hugs her back.

“Wolfie, dammit, where the hell have you been?!” Remus chuckles, releasing her from the hug.

“It’s a long story.  Is Wormy here?” Bridget nods, taking his hand and leading him out of the room.  He quickly pulls his hood back up before following her into the apartment she, Rema, and, when he’s not with the Death Eaters, Peter live in above the store.

“Pete?” Bridget calls as she walks in, Peter walks out with a one-year-old in his arms, looking at her cloaked companion warily.  Remus pulls his hood down and Peter’s eyes widen before he rushes over and hugs him.

“I’m so sorry Remus.” Remus hugs him back, mindful of the child in-between them.

“So am I.”

“Were you there?  When Sirius…” Remus nods, tears falling lightly again, he wipes them away, “Oh Remus, I-I know how much he meant to you…she wasn’t meant to kill him.” He chuckles humourlessly.

“It was an accident.”

“W-What now?”

“It’s complicated, but she wasn’t trying to kill him.”

“Well, anyway, I’m sorry about…about her too.” Remus just nods, Peter steps back, bouncing the baby in his arms when she starts fussing, “Remus…about Bella, I’m the one who cast the spell on her, none of it was Sirius’ fault.” Remus looks at him for a moment, and then he realises something that surprises him.

“I’ve forgiven you, you know.  Not for that, I know Sirius did that and you’re trying to protect his memory, but for joining Voldemort.  I forgive you.” Peter shakes his head.

“You’re grieving the loss of a close friend and someone you loved, you’re not thinking straight Re.”

“No, I am grieving the loss of someone I love more than life itself, and someone I lost a long time ago.  You’re right, I’m not thinking clearly, but I also know what it’s like to lose someone and know you never forgave them, that you’ll never be able to.  I forgive you Pete, always waiting, remember?” For the first time in a while, it’s said, and it’s truly meant.  Peter senses this too and smiles, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Thank you.”  Peter looks at the child in his arms before looking back at Remus, “What to hold your god daughter?” Remus nods, taking the offered child and hugging her to him.

“Hi there Rema, goodness you’ve grown.”

“Rema, this is your Uncle M-uh…” Peter trails off awkwardly, unsure what he’s meant to say, Remus hesitates for a moment before smiling at the child.

“I’m your Uncle Moony.”

 

“Well, I doubt you just stopped in to steal all my daughter’s love and drink some tea, so what’s going on?” Peter asks after the two have sat down with their tea, Remus still holding Rema though she’s now asleep in his arms.  Bridget’s returned to work in the shop.

“You used to practically idolise Albus, right?” Peter nods.

“When I was about ten, yes.”

“Then you’ve read about Grindelwald, right?”

“Yes, of course.  He was a friend of Dumbledore’s once, a long time ago.  Then he went rogue and Dumbledore was forced to deal with him.”

“Do you know what happened to him after that? Grindelwald, I mean, not Dumbledore.”

“He was locked away in the prison he created.”

“Right, um, Nurmengard, right?” Peter nods, “Brilliant, thank you Wormtail.  I um, I don’t suppose you know _where_ exactly said prison is, do you?” Peter frowns at him.

“You aren’t thinking of going there, are you?” He asks suspiciously, Remus gives him a sheepish look, Peter sighs, “It’s a prison, you’d have to break in, and then break out again, to speak with him.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do, this is important Pete, I’ve no choice.”  Pete looks at him in consideration for a moment before he nods.

“Then we’ll leave when Budgie finishes work.” Remus looks confused, Peter snorts, “You don’t really think I’m letting you go alone, do you?  Besides, if anyone gets to meet him, it’s going to be the one who could practically write the man’s biography.” Remus chuckles slightly and nods.

“Fair enough, my friend.”

“I am, of course, assuming no Order Members are accompanying you?”

“Peter, at the moment, they don’t even know where I am.  I nicked some stuff, said I’d be back within a week, and left.  They don’t know what I’m doing or why.”

“Am I going to get told what we’re doing?” Remus sighs.

“Peter if you’re going to be coming with me, then something needs to be made clear.  This isn’t an Order mission, this isn’t for their side of the war nor for yours.”

“Their side?  Not your side?” Remus’ face falls.  He debates for a long moment before he sighs.

“I’m tired of fighting Pete, I don’t care anymore. The one stake I had in this war was Sirius, but now…we both know my thoughts on Dumbledore, and those have taken a turn for the absolute worst imaginable today, it doesn’t get lower.  I couldn’t care less about this war anymore, but I owe some people, and this is my penance.  One final task and then I’m out, I’m leaving it all, I can’t do it anymore.”

“Remy, they’re after you.” Remus nods, “They won’t stop looking for you because you quit the Order.” Remus nods again.

“I know, but I have a plan.  When I say that I mean I’ve literally come up with it this second, but that’s not the point.  My point is, what we find I may well be telling Dumbledore, and if I do, you can tell Voldemort, it’s only fair.  But _only_ what I tell him, anything else that comes out stays between us, deal?” Peter holds a hand out, Remus takes it and they shake.

“Deal.”

 

Two days later they make it to Nurmengard, Peter and Remus look at it from the bottom of the cliff and exchange exasperated looks.

“You know, Muggle Prisons make it easy to visit people.  At least, relative to this horseshit.” Peter chuckles, shaking his head.

“If it were easy, it wouldn’t be happening to us.”

“Fair point.”

They make it to the bottom of the prison and look it up and down.

“Somehow it’s even more imposing now that we can’t see it all,” Remus mutters.

“So, do you have a plan for how we’re getting in there?” Peter asks, Remus tuts in thought for a moment before blowing out a breath and shaking his head.

“Nope.  I don’t suppose you know where he is in there?”

“Top cell.”

“Why do you know that?”

“It’s interesting!”

“Are you serious?” The two look at each other for a minute, Remus’ face just sort of drops and he looks away from his companion and the building, hand over his mouth to hold in the sob as he blinks away the tears.

“Remy?” Peter asks after a moment, he places a hand on Remus’ shoulder, but his friend doesn’t react at all.  Pete turns Remus to face him, and despite his eyes being shut and half his face covered by his hand, Peter can see the anguish he feels, “Maybe we shouldn’t do this today.” Remus shakes his head, taking a breath.

“It’s not going to get any better.” Peter frowns.

“Didn’t it last time?”

“LAST TIME WAS DIFFERENT!  LAST TIME HE WAS COMING BACK! Now…” Remus shakes his head again.

“You finally realised then.”

“Realised what?”

“That you love him.”  Remus nods, “And that he loved you too, loves in fact.  That kind of love, it doesn’t end in death.” Remus nods, “Do you know how long he’s loved you?” Remus lets out a humourless bark-type laugh that sounds more like a half sob than anything.

“If I were to hazard a guess, before I started dating Trixie.” Peter nods.

“The moment you bit your lip on the boat you captured his interest, and nothing else ever would.  Not in the same way anyway.”

“You weren’t even on the damned boat Pete.”

“I know, that’s why I’m using Sirius’ words.” Remus’ breath catches.

“God why didn’t I realise sooner?” Peter grips his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

“He wouldn’t want you to live life in depression because of him, he’d want you to be happy.” Remus nods.

“I know.  I just don’t know how to do that yet.  I-I have to do this first.” Peter nods, understanding this task is his closure, though he doesn’t yet know why, “You said the top cell, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Does it have a window?” Peter frowns.

“No idea.”

“Right, I’m going to fly up there, see if there’s a window, hopefully I can just talk to him through that and not have to break in.”

“We didn’t bring our bro…you worked out how to do it, didn’t you?  Whatever you did that made you fly Minnie to Pomfrey.” Remus nods.

“You coming?” He asks, kneeling down and putting his hand on the ground palm up, Peter grins and nods, transforming into Wormtail and climbing on.

Remus cups the rat gently, making sure to hold him securely, before he flies upwards, making sure not to go too fast and frighten his twitchy friend.  Remus finds a window and sees a man asleep inside, he clears his throat, easily waking the man.

“Well, knew it would happen eventually didn’t we?” He mutters to himself, Remus sighs.

“Excuse me, Mr Grindelwald?  I apologise for the intrusion, but I was hoping you’d be able to answer a question for me.”  The man just ignores him, Remus holds in the sigh this time, “You aren’t hallucinating.  Which, I realise, a lot of hallucinations say, not all of them, some taunt you with the fact that they aren’t real, but I promise, I’m real.”

“What would you know about hallucinations?” The man snarls, Remus frowns.

“A great deal I’m afraid.  You aren’t the only one who knows what it is to be held prisoner.  Granted you’ve more than a few decades on me but, we both know after a certain point, time is meaningless.”

“What is it you want?”

“I want to know how the Dumbledore girl died.” Gellert looks at him in surprise, scampering slightly closer.

“Ariana?  Albus’ sister?” Remus nods, “He turned on me after that, my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, I know how much that hurts.” The other man looks at him.

“You know the pain and the anger, but do you know the fear?” Remus gives a humourless smile.

“All too well, I’m afraid.”  Gellert comes over to the window, examining Remus’ eyes.

“Yes, I believe you do, we seem to have a lot in common, you and I,” He says after a long moment, “What do you know of Ariana Dumbledore?”

“I know that Albus made a mistake a long time ago, and I know that it got her killed.” Gellert’s face contorts in anger.

“Well he _would_ think that, yes.”

“And I know that she’s still out there, trying to destroy him.  I have to know Mr Grindelwald, did he kill her?” The man seems shocked.

“Still out there?”

“Mr Grindelwald, please, what happened?” Gellert sits in the middle of the room, looking out at the window.

“Albus and I, we had plans.  We were going to break our world free of the Ministry’s oppressive rule.  But Aberforth, he didn’t agree.  He tried to stop us, and we fought.  I don’t know what she was trying to do, no doubt trying to protect her favoured brother, but Ariana, she got in the way of the fight.  I’m not sure which of the three of us killed her, only that Albus is too afraid to find out.” Remus swallows harshly.

“I think I know.” Gellert looks confused again.

“Well if it were you or Aberforth, I imagine she’d be targeting one of you.  But she isn’t, has never shown any interest in either of you since her death.  Albus must have fired the spell that killed her, that…that meets every criteria,” He says, mainly to himself, “When did she die?”

“The summer of 1899.  Tell me, my boy, what year is it now?”

“1996,” Remus replies distractedly, Gellert nods, humming slightly.

“Ariana wasn’t like most children, the family tried to keep her hidden away.  The girl was dangerous, she killed their Mother.  Aberforth insists it was an accident, that she wasn’t in control, but what difference did that make in the end?  Her magic, it was temperamental at best, she was a walking time bomb of death and destruction and chaos.  We should count ourselves lucky that she died as she did, it could have been a lot worse.  For us and for her.”  Something about the way he says the last part makes Remus wonder if he had actually cared for Ariana as well, she was his best friend’s little sister after all, “Do say _hi_ to Albus for me, won’t you, Lad?”

“I will not.  Thank you for your time Mr Grindelwald.”

“You said you know what it’s like to be imprisoned, do you know what it is to be alone?” Remus feels the twitch in his hand that reminds him of his companion, and despite the desolate feelings he doesn’t think he’ll ever shake after Sirius, he knows the truth.

“No.” Gellert chuckles slightly, crawling back into a corner of the room.

“Lucky you.”

 

Remus and Peter land safely on the ground, Peter immediately jumping to the ground and transforming back into a human.

“Well that was creepy.”

“1899, why’d it take her so long?  What happened between her death and Roana?  It’s got to have something to do with what he said about her not being like other kids.  Her magic being unstable, it had to have been strong as well.  Strong enough to hold an imprint of her soul.  By now, most of what she is will be gone, only knowing Albus must be destroyed, probably not even remembering why.”

“So how do we stop her?” Remus freezes in his pacing, he hadn’t even noticed he’d started.

“She _is_ Voldemort, you realise that, right?”

“She sounds more like a traumatised child to me, and right now she’s possessing a friend of mine.  I can’t take action, not really, she’s still got something over me, but we can’t exactly get more out of hearing range than we are right now.  Besides, I was blind and stupid, what she has…it’s not worth Rema growing up the way we did.  For murder and betrayal to be an everyday reality because it’s war and that’s just how life is.  I want her to be horrified by such things because they don’t happen in her life, not like they do now.”  Remus nods.

“I need to go back to the Order, deal with the Bellatrix situation.  After that I’m leaving, I’m going to find a way to free Tom, find a way to deal with Ariana.  Then I’ll come back, and I’ll fill you in.”  Peter nods.

They make the journey back, managing to shave off half a day of travel time.  They stand in an Alleyway in London where they shake hands.

“Be safe, Moony.”

“Be brave, Wormtail.  And look after my God-Daughter.”  Remus goes to leave but turns back at the last second, “Pete, do you remember how to use a payphone?” Peter nods, looking confused, Remus grabs a piece of paper from his pocket and a pen, “If it’s an emergency, and I mean a true emergency, call me.” Peter takes the piece of paper with his mobile number from him and pockets it, hugging his friend before apparating away.  Remus apparates to the street outside Grimmauld Place and heads in.

 

As luck would have it, it’s during a meeting that he arrives, Remus isn’t sure that’s really a good thing, all things considered.

“Where the bloody hell have you been?!  I’ve been worried sick!” Tonks tells him immediately, “I’ve been writing, and writing, and nothing.

“I’ve been out, I’m sorry, Dora.”

“Well, we’re all very glad to see you’re all right,” Albus says, Remus looks at him, unsure if it’s hatred or pity he feels more of.  He can’t help but see similarities between them.  Both killed their younger siblings, the other sibling isn’t on speaking terms with them, but the difference is he chose his path, Remus’ was forced upon him with a bite.  Plus, Albus killed his kid, he’s insanely pissed about that, so yes, it’s far more hatred than pity.

Remus places the vial with Draco’s memory on the table.

“Thought you’d like that back.” Tonks frowns at him.

“Why do you sound like you’re just dropping it off?”

“Because I am, and I quit, or withdraw my help or whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m sorry, you what?!” Sturgis asks, Remus shakes his head.

“I’m done.  I don’t care anymore.  Good luck to you all.”

“It’s more than just Sirius that’s brought about this, he more than anyone wanted Voldemort gone, so what happened Remus?” Albus asks him, the room freezes, no doubt thinking of Bellatrix.  Remus observes Albus for a moment before he chucks the letter in his pocket at him.  Albus reads through it, looking significantly paler when he looks up again.

“We-We can’t know for sure that this is true, Remus, she was hardly sane –” Remus holds a hand up to silence him, gesturing for the letter back.  Albus hands it over.

“Watch the memory, you’ll know it’s true.”

“Remus, I couldn’t have known ­–”

“Would it have changed anything?” Albus stops speaking, “No really, had you known, would it have changed anything?”

“They needed to be stopped Remus.” Remus nods.

“Yes, that’s what I thought.”

“Remus you shouldn’t be making any big decisions right now, you’re still…I mean…” Tonks stumbles, “I know my Aunt meant a lot to you –”

“I don’t care about your Aunt!” He snaps, she flinches back slightly at his anger, he takes a breath, “I’m sorry.  I lost Trixie a long time ago, lost the ability to see anything other than…than the last thing I knew her as a long time ago too.  We’re better off now than we were when she was alive.  But…but whoever ends up watching that will understand, I’m sure, exactly why I am done with this war.  With not knowing who’s on which side and why and when and how long for, who’s dead, who’s not, who will be the next to go, never given a chance to actually deal with any of it and I’m sorry, I am, but I can’t do any of it without Sirius.  I never could.  Whoever watches it though, just make sure Drom knows.  You’ll know what I mean.”

“Where will you go?  They’re still hunting you,” Mad-Eye asks, Remus shrugs.

“I have something I need to do, nothing else really matters.”  Tonks stands up, throwing her arms around him.

“Keep in touch Re,” She orders, he smiles and nods.

“As much as I can.”

“I trust Severus has a way of contacting you?” Albus asks, Remus nods.

“He does.” Remus doesn’t think he’s imagining the reluctance in the Headmaster’s stature, but Remus really can’t bring himself to care if the man who killed his daughter doesn’t want him to go.  He may not have known, but he himself admitted, he’d have done it even if he had.

“Remus, the timing of that, does that mean what I think happened happened?” Albus asks, Remus must still have been their prisoner at the date of conception, it doesn’t really take a genius to work out what happened. Remus doesn’t respond, Albus nods gravely, “I’m sorry.”

“You have no bloody idea how much you have to be sorry for, Old Man,” Remus tells him, “I do not envy being you when you find out.  Good luck to you all.”  With that, he magically calls all of his belongings still in the house to him, and leaves.

He floos to his old house, packing everything he needs in his case using shrinking charms.  He reaches into his pocket and pulls out Padfoot’s collar, holding it in a hand as he does a cursory check of the house.  In the living room he grabs a photo from the mantle, not a drawing either, an actual photo.  It’s he, Sev, Jamie, and Blaise playing Muggle poker, at which Blaise is annoyingly good, Remus thinks Pansy probably took the picture since Blaise moves from looking at his hand to glaring at whoever is taking it.  It’s a glare he only ever gives Pansy or Draco, but he can’t imagine Draco taking a photo without himself in it.  In the photo, Benoit is sitting in Remus’ lap as he explains how to play.  Remus knows Sev will be annoyed with him for taking off without a word, but it’s not like he can’t call.  Besides, Remus knows he’ll get over it.  It’s what they do best.

Always Waiting.

 

****

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last Chapter folks, thanks so much for those who have stuck around for it all! This story was originally meant to be a short little prequel to another I’m writing, but unfortunately the other one just won’t make enough sense without the background info, and in the end I just sort of went 'Fuck it, I'll just write Remus' life story, that oughta cover everything' and so this entire story was born. The next may not be up for a while, I like finishing my stories before I upload them, but I’ll do it as soon as I can.   
> Anyways, I hope you’ve enjoyed this story, I’ve had a lot of fun writing it, and again, thank you!! 


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